


Living With the Addams Family

by LEC743



Category: Addams Family - All Media Types
Genre: #Addams Family, #fanfiction, #gothic, #supernatural - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2021-04-05
Packaged: 2021-04-25 21:53:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 38
Words: 221,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22341847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LEC743/pseuds/LEC743
Summary: College Freshmen, Urbana Des Moines, moves out of her family's home for college and moves into the cheapest residence she could find. She didn't think to ask why it was so cheap.
Comments: 12
Kudos: 90





	1. Welcome

Urbana Des Moines drove up the winding road to her new rented living arrangement. On either side of the road were craggily old trees who’s leaves littered the forest floor, a little odd, considering it was only August. The winding old road was well kept despite it being a gravel road. Eventually, Urbana made it to the front fence of the property, beyond the fancy, gothic fence stood a large, black, Victorian style mansion. Urbana still couldn’t believe how cheep the rent was and was starting to second guess coming here for fear of becoming a “true story” that a horror movie would base on her. Urbana started to get out of her run down blue mini-van when the gothic black gates opened on their own. Yep, totally not creepy.

Not seeing anywhere else to park, Urbana parked near the front door. As she got out, she felt like the two gargoyle statues that sit at the bottom of the stairs to the front door were watching her.

“You two are the most handsomest looking boy’s I’ve ever seen,” Urbana cooed to them as convincingly as she could to the ugly statues. She felt ridiculous but she didn’t feel scared of them anymore.

Urbana walked up the stairs to the black double doors, then picked up a silver knocker that was in the shape of a human skull and knocked three times as loudly as she could. She really hoped she wasn’t going to have to deal with any body snatchers or murderers or anything that’ll want to physically hurt her.

The door creaked open and an eye could be seen through the crack a foot or so above her.

“Uh, Hi. I’m Urbana Des Moines. I’m here about the rented room you guys posted in the paper,” she said.

The eye blinked then as the door opened farther, Urbana could clearly see the six-foot-tall man in a butler suit who looked like a zombie in every way except for the rotting flesh and smell. The giant zombie man motioned for her to come in.

Urbana gave him a nervous smile, “Thank you,” and she walked into the mansion.

The inside was huge, like the outside gave you the impression that it would be huge on the inside, but you’re never really prepared for it despite that. The entryway looked to be two stories tall with three chandeliers lighting the area, giving what could be a gloomy room a soft white glow. There were several items in the immediate area that added to the spooky mansion; furniture engraved with human skeleton parts on them, animal skulls that weren’t just deer heads sat on some of the shelves, there was a painting of a man bleeding out from being repeatedly stabbed in the back hanging on a while right across the door way, and right next to it was a hanging human skeletal structure. The skeleton seemed to be smiling at her, but Urbana couldn’t tell if it was smiling welcomingly or menacingly. On either side of the entryway are two open hallways, one looking like it leads to a living room and other one leading to stairs.

Urbana turned to say something to the butler zombie guy, but the door was already closed, and he was nowhere to be seen.

“How the fuck he do that,” she said.

“Hello!” Shouted a bombastic male voice.

Urbana screamed unintentionally and spun around to be met with a well dress man in a black suit coming from the stairs with the zombie butler close behind.

“Ah, yes, you have a wonderful scream,” the man said, seemingly genuinely.

“Thank you?” Urbana said.

Urbana thought the man looked quite handsome, not as tall as his butler, but still taller than herself. He had a tinny black mustache on his face and his black hair was slicked back with gel.

The man shook her hand vigorously and said, “We’re so glad someone finally decided to take up rent here. We’ve had that ad out for two years now and you’re the first person to come. How soon can you move in?”

Still being shaken, Urbana said, “Rig-right now.”

“Darling, you’re going to shake her hand off,” a calm and collected female voice stated behind the man.

The man turned around and warmly greeted the tall woman by kissing her hand, all the way up her arm, and finally landing one last kiss on her cheek. Then he said, “You look beautiful as always, my love.”

She smiled a hauntingly beautiful smile at the man. Urbana was trying to focus only on the woman’s smile, since the long black dress that she was wearing was lowcut enough to almost reach her bellybutton and it was wide enough to show a lot of inner side boob.

The woman turned to her and said, “Pardon my sweet husband, we rarely get visitors that aren’t family. I am Morticia Addams. This lovely man here is my husband, Gomez, and the man holding your luggage is Lurch.

Confused, Urbana turned around to see that Lurch was indeed holding her two purple suitcases.

Turning back around she said, “Well, I’m Urbana Des Moines—”

“Des Moines,” Morticia questioned.

“Oh, honey,” Gomez said seductively, “That’s French.”

“Oui,” Morticia said then the two kissed passionately.

Urbana averted her eyes and chuckle uncomfortably.

Noticing this Gomez said, “Oh, where are our manners. Let us show you to your room. I’m sure you’ve had a long drive.”

As Urbana followed the couple up the stairs with Lurch following behind, she asked, “So, is it just the three of you here?”

“Oh, no, there’s our children,” Morticia said.

“Pugsley and Wednesday,” Gomez said, naming them off.

“Then there’s my mother,” Morticia continued.

“You’re allowed to call her Grandmama, if you want,” Gomez stated.

“She just loves to cook, so you’ll find her mostly in the kitchen,” Morticia added.

“Then there’s my brother, Fester,” Gomez added.

“He’s quite the charmer, so be careful he doesn’t steal your heart,” Morticia stated.

“Heh, literally or figuratively?” Urbana asked.

“Who knows,” Gomez said then laughed uproariously.

“Oh, and we can’t forget about Thing,” Morticia said.

“Of course, we can’t,” Gomez said, “Little guy’s always going around lending a hand. They love to help.”

Urbana followed them onto the fifth floor and then they lead her down a hallway with eight oil paintings of men and women’s death. They all had silver plaques beneath them stating their name, date of birth and date of death. The eight oil paintings were between four different doors and they lead her down to the farthest one on the right.

“Here’s your new home, hope you like spiders,” Morticia said as she opened the door.

Urbana instantly hid behind Lurch.

“I most certainly do not like spiders,” Urbana shrieked.

A couple of wolf spiders walked out of room.

“Oh, get it away. Get it away. Get it away,” Urbana said as she took a couple of steps back.

Morticia calmly picked up the wolf spiders as Gomez said, “Look’s like we’ll need to ask Pugsley to move his pets when he gets back from school.”

“How about we just move me to a new room,” Urbana said.

“We can if you want,” Morticia said, “But we chose this room specifically for you because it’s our finest one.”

Urbana danced in place. She didn’t want to be rude. These people are weird but they’re not malicious, so far at least.

“Okay, how about I wait until Pugsley gets home to move his spiders and then when I check out the room and I can imagine it _not_ being recently infested with spiders, then I’ll live in that one room. If not, please put me somewhere else,” Urbana said.

“Sounds like we’ve got our selves a plan,” Gomez said, “Lurch, my friend, place her luggage beside the door.”

# # #

Urbana sat at the kitchen table while drinking green tea with Grandmama making dinner for the night. The air smelled of spices and herbs she wasn’t familiar with, but it smelled great. Grandmama looked like a fairytale witch; hunched back with gray hair and a big fat mole on the side of her chin.

“Uh, do you want any help, Ma’am,” Urbana said.

“No,” Grandmama said, “I don’t have the time to teach you how to cook the way I like. Do you need more tea?”

“Yes, please. It’s delicious,” Urbana said.

Grandmama walked away from the stove with a black kettle in hand and as she poured, she said, “Thank you dearie, I grow and hunt most of the food myself.”

“That’s very impressive, Ma’am,” Urbana said.

Grandmama cooed and pinched Urbana’s cheek, “You’re quite a charmer with words, aren’t you?”

From a distance the two of them could hear something slam.

“Oh, that must be the children,” Grandmama said, “Pugsley has the worst habit of slamming doors.”

There was the sound of running that closed in on them as Grandmama went back to work at the stove. Urbana turned towards the sound and a rotund, blond boy wearing a black and white striped shirt with black shorts, barged in. He looked about 11 years old.

“A-ha! You finally made it!” Pugsley said.

“And how many spiders do you own, by the way,” Urbana asked.

Pugsley looked sheepish, “I guess you didn’t like them, huh? Man, why can’t I find anyone that likes spiders as much as I do.”

Urbana took a sip of her tea then said, “You’ve got to understand kid, arachnophobia is a genetically ingrained fear, kind of. You’re going to have to look hard for your kin. Now, please take them out of my could-be room.”

Pugsley sighed, laid his backpack next to the kitchen entrance then ran off to the fifth floor.

A little girl, who looked to be about 13 years old, walked in watching after her brother. Her long, black hair was braided into two pigtails and she was wearing a frilly black dress with white trimmings on the long sleeves, the skirt and collar. She then turned her attention forward and froze at the entrance, her face unreadable.

“Hello, young lady. I’m Urbana. You must be Wednesday,” she said, “Your Grandmama made tea, would you like some?”

Wednesday slightly shook her head no, then walked away without a word.

Urbana shrugged as she turned back around to keep drinking her tea. Then a bald man in a dark green trench coat came into the kitchen from the outside door across from her, holding three dead rabbits by the hind legs. Urbana tried to ignore the blood she saw on the fur of the rabbits.

“Grandmama, your traps managed to catch three rabbits today,” Fester said proudly.

“Thank you, Fester dearie,” Grandmama said as she took the dead rabbits and placed them in the sink, “And you reset the traps?”

“Yes, Grandmama,” Fester said.

Grandmama gave Fester a quick kiss on the forehead and said, “Thank you for your help.”

Fester smiled wide, showing off his yellow crooked teeth, then he said, “Awe, your always welcome Grandmama.”

Fester then looked Urbana’s way and she tried to fight the urge to look away.

“Oh, pardon me,” he said, “I’m Fester. Sorry I couldn’t greet you at the door when you first got here.”

“It’s fine,” Urbana said as she took a sip of her tea, “All I have left to meet is Thing.”

“Oh, you’re going to love Thing,” Fester said, “If you ever need an extra hand, never be afraid to ask for Thing’s help.”

Urbana noticed that Grandmama was skinning the rabbits and she immediately got up.

“I’m going to go see if Pugsley has removed his spiders by now,” she said, leaving the kitchen in a hurry.

Pugsley was nowhere to be seen on the fifth floor, so Urbana took a quick look inside her could-be room. The room really was beautiful. The wallpaper had images of crows and ravens in different positions like flying or sitting on branches. The furniture was very raw looking in the way that it was carved, with curving lines that make you think of a watercolor painting. The bed was in the center of the room and across from the bed was a fireplace that looked like an old tree. The floor was made of black oak and partially covered in a rug that depicted a giant raven eating some grapes. The only human appendage looked item in the room was the hand sitting on top of the fireplace mantle.

“You know this isn’t such a bad room,” Urbana said aloud to herself, “And there’s a lot of room for my stuff.”

Urbana then saw that the giant window had a bumped-out window seat. She was delighted and went to check it out. After some time admiring and looking for any stray spiders, Urbana decided that this room would be great to live in for her college days. She then turned to the fireplace to remove the creepy hand, but it was gone. Weird. She went to grab her luggage but then she saw the hand on one of the tops of her suitcases. She picked it up and it waved at her.

“Oh my god!” she said as she dropped the hand.

The disembodied hand landed neatly on its fingertips and crawled to her suitcases. It looked like it was trying to move her suitcase for her.

“Thing, what are you doing,” Pugsley said as he walked towards them.

“This is Thing,” Urbana gasped.

“Yah, Dad and Uncle Fester like to make jokes about Thing,” Pugsley said as he picked up the hand, “I moved all the spiders back to my room and since Thing is out of your room that means we found them all.”

“Oh, well, good,” Urbana said, breathlessly.

“Also, Grandmama says dinner will be ready in thirty minutes,” Pugsley said.

# # #

Urbana sat between Grandmama and Morticia at the kitchen table. Gomez and Morticia were flirting with each other over their food. Fester was asking about Pugsley and Wednesday’s day at school. Grandmama was making sure everyone’s drinks were full and Lurch was eating slowly and dutifully with Thing on his shoulder. Urbana felt like she’s entered a different dimension and left her old body behind, she was still processing the fact that there’s a hand without a body just “walking” around.

“What about you,” Morticia asked.

Blinking rapidly and turning to the lady of the house, she said, “What?”

“When do you go to school? Or are you out now?” Morticia asked.

“Oh, uh, I go to college next week,” Urbana said, “but you won’t be seeing much of me around the house ‘cause I go to my first day of work tomorrow.”

Everyone congratulated her.

“Will you be a demolitionist and destroy buildings,” Pugsley asked.

“No,” Urbana said, “I’ll be working at the Olive Garden that’s close by.”

“Oh, we know that place,” Fester said, “We love going there when Grandmama doesn’t feel like cooking.”

“Their food is still subpar in comparison to my food,” Grandmama stated, “But they’re passable.”

Urbana had to agree that the vegetables here were the best thing she’s eaten, she didn’t bother with the rabbit, considering she’s a vegetarian.

“What are you going to college for,” Gomez asked.

“English major with a minor in art,” Urbana said, “I like to draw comic stories.”

“I love comics,” Pugsley said, “Will you let me read your stuff.”

Urbana smiled at him, “Sure kid.”

# # #

Urbana had finished unpacking her clothes, toiletries, school supplies, her watercolor sets, her drawing pencils, her for-fun-to-read books, her camera, her laptop, and her five sketch books. When she was satisfied with where she put her stuff, she was about to get ready for bed when Wednesday suddenly appeared in her room. Urbana jumped in surprise.

“Dear Lord, girl, you scared me,” Urbana said, placing a hand over her heart.

“Mom wanted me to tell you that you’re allowed to decorate this room however you want it,” Wednesday stated in a monotoned voice.

“Oh, okay,” she said.

Wednesday didn’t leave.

“Is there something else you want,” Urbana asked.

“Have you found the secret bathroom yet,” Wednesday asked.

“A secret bathroom? In this room?” Urbana asked.

Wednesday nodded her head,  
Urbana smiled wide, “No I have not. Do you know where it is? Can you show me?”

Wednesday walked over to an empty space between the window and the bed. She then pressed a part of the wall with an image of a crow sitting on a raven, then a door slid open revealing an old-fashioned looking bathroom with a claw toed bathtub and themed with crows and ravens like the rest of the room.

“Your house is so cool, are there other secret rooms?” Urbana asked.

Wednesday nodded her head.

“Do you think you can show them to me when I don’t have school or work?” Urbana asked.

Wednesday nodded her head.

“Awesome,” she said.


	2. The Séance

Urbana Des Moines has been living with the Addams family for a month now and she’s still not use to how things are in the household. One day when she got back from school, she found Pugsley laying in the middle of the living room covered in blood. It took every ounce of Urbana’s willpower not to faint on the spot at the horrible sight. It turned out that he was playing as the John Doe for Wednesday’s game of Murder Mystery and the blood was deer blood that he asked Grandmama to hold on to for him. Then when Urbana was asked to grab some corn cobs from the greenhouse for Grandmama’s cooking she almost got eaten by one of Morticia’s many house plants that she keeps in the greenhouse too. Morticia apologized and promised to make sure it doesn’t happen again, but it was still one weird fight for her life.

Then any time Urbana would go to the Library, Gomez would show up at some point and start teaching her how to fence, by fencing against each other, without protection. Gomez never hurt her because he was so skilled and Urbana never hurt him because she wasn’t skilled, but it didn’t really make Urbana feel any better about the fencing thing. Then occasionally, she’d hear something in the attic, above the seventh floor, explode and she asked what that was about, and it’s apparently Fester doing chemical experiments for fun. Thing still freaks Urbana out, seeing it crawl around from point A to point B and in Urbana’s honest opinion, Lurch and Grandmama are like the most normal people out of the family.

Urbana was walking around the household trying to find Gomez or Morticia to give them her monthly rent. Eventually she found Morticia relaxing in the tearoom as she was drinking some tea and reading a book.

“There you are,” Urbana said.

“Hello, Urbana,” Morticia said as she sat down her book.

Urbana handed Morticia the $200 check.

“This month’s rent, Ma’am,” Urbana said.

Morticia took the check with an even smile, “Thank you, Dear. Has it really been a month already?”

“Well, I mean, if you don’t want the check, I can just keep it and blow it on videogames,” Urbana said.

“You know, that does sound better than having to pay your stuffy landlady,” Morticia said as she started to hand back the check.

Urbana backed away, “I was just joking.”

Morticia laughed as she placed the check in the book she was reading as a bookmark.

“Won’t you sit with me,” Morticia asked Urbana, gesturing to the chair in front of her.

Urbana sat down.

Morticia rested her chin on her hands, then asked, “How have you been feeling living here, Urbana?”

“I’m acclimatizing. It’s weird living in a house that’s different from the one you grew up in,” Urbana said.

Morticia nodded her head in understanding, then said, “Well, you are always welcome to express yourself and tell us about your needs, like how you’re a vegetarian.”

“When did I tell you that,” Urbana said.

“We eat together, Dear,” Morticia said, took a sip of her tea, then continued, “I see you avoiding the different meats Mom provides. We’re not going to get offended that you don’t eat meat. Though, I am sad that you felt the need to hide such a crucial fact about your dietary needs.”

Urbana looked out the window, then said, “I was just trying to avoid the boasting stereotype that vegetarians and vegans seem to have nowadays. I’m not even doing this because I care about animals and what not, I just don’t like the taste of meat.”

Morticia softly took Urbana’s right hand in both of hers and patted it, “And that’s perfectly fine, Dear,” She said.

Urbana smiled as she continued to look out the window, but then Morticia still didn’t let go of her. When she looked at her landlady, she looked really focused on something.

“Do I have something on my face,” Urbana asked.

Morticia blinked, then said, “Oh. No, it’s just you have such a strong aura about you.”

Urbana chuckled, “What?”

“I’m serious. Have you ever predicted something, and it came true or do you feel like you have an intuition about the supernatural or have you ever seen a ghost?” Morticia elaborated.

Urbana stood up after the ghost suggestion, “I’ve got homework I need to worry about. Thank you for the chat.”

“You’re welcome, Dear, but before you go, do you have work tonight?” Morticia asked.

“No, it’s my day off,” Urbana said.

“Every month, we have a family séance in the dining room,” Morticia said, “We try to contact the ghosts of our dead relatives so we can keep in touch and make them feel like they’re not forgotten. Will you join us?”

Urbana hesitated. She would rather not get involved in ghostly stuff again, but she’s always been taught by her mom and dad that’s it’s rude to decline a first-time invitation to anything.

“Okay, I’ll come to the séance,” Urbana stated.

“Oh, wonderful,” Morticia said, beaming like the afterglow of lightning in dark clouds.

# # #

Urbana stood next to the dining room table not knowing what to do while Lurch tuned his grand piano, Thing lit the short fat candles on the table, the kids opened the tall windows to let in the full moon light, and Morticia, Gomez, Fester, and Grandmama decorated the room with items of the deceased that they use to like, like sweet treats, toys, and a couple of knives.

Wednesday tugged on Urbana’s shirt.

“Do you want to sit with me,” Wednesday asked.

Urbana shrugged, “Sure.”

They sat down and Pugsley sat on the other side of Urbana.

“After the séance, will you help me with my homework,” Pugsley asked.

“Sure, kid. I have some extra homework that I have to do after this, so we can work together,” Urbana said.

Pugsley smiled appreciatively.

“Urbana,” Wednesday asked, and Urbana turned to look at her, “Will you play Murder Mystery with me after homework?”

“As long as I don’t have to be covered in blood,” Urbana said.

“I promise you won’t,” Wednesday said, “I’ll even show you more hidden passages.”

“I am now doubly convinced to play,” Urbana said, teasingly.

Wednesday didn’t crack a smile, but she seemed happy, nonetheless.

Lurch was playing a haunting melody on the grand piano as Thing crawled to sit on Wednesday’s head and the other adults sat down around the table. Morticia placed a cloaked item on the candle lit table. Once the cloth was removed it showed a little figurine of a gargoyle holding a bell.

“What’s the bell for,” Urbana asked.

“It’s to help us to communicate with our relatives, Dear,” Morticia answered.

“One ring means yes, and two rings mean no,” Gomez added.

“Sometimes it rings like crazy,” Fester said, “But we don’t really know what it means when they do that.”

“Usually when it happens, I can sense a lot of frustration coming from our relatives,” Morticia said.

“Are you ready to begin, Dear,” Grandmama asked Morticia.

Everyone around the table started to hold each other’s hands and Urbana joined in.

“Everyone, close your eyes,” Morticia calmly commanded.

Urbana waited for everyone to close their eyes first before she closed hers. Lurch continued to play on the piano, but softly. Urbana felt a cold wind start to blow into the room and the hair on the back of her neck started to rise.

“Grandpapa Addams, Cousin Sofia, Great Uncle Moss, and Aunt Witchery,” Morticia said, “I call out to you and invite you into our home.”

Urbana felt the air around her get heavy and she could smell a mist in the air like a fog has rolled into the house. Then a new voice spoke.

“Oy vey,” a crotchety sounding old man said, “It never get’s any easier to get here.”

Urbana reflexively opened her eye to see a gnarled looking old man, who looked talker than Morticia if he could stand up straight and he was wearing a home-y looking outfit, a bathrobe and slippers.

“Hello Father,” Morticia said, smiling.

Everyone else chimed in a hello. Piano music continued to play.

Grandpapa turned to Grandmama, “Hello, my love. You look as lovely as ever.”

“Mother,” Morticia said, “His energy is directed at you.”

“You know how I love his energy,” Grandmama said then cackled to herself.

Wednesday and Pugsley groaned while everyone else laughed, even Grandpapa.

“Oh, you naughty thing,” Grandpapa said, as he floated off the table, “But that’s what I love about you,” Then he kissed her on the check and went over to the display saying, “I can’t wait to smell those famous cookies of yours.”

“I felt him,” Grandmama said.

“I feel him too,” Morticia said.

Then two more ghosts appeared. A man that looked like the painting in the entrance hallway, his back oozing with green slime and wearing a stereotypical pirate outfit and a petite woman in a gray dress with a butt bump who was holding her head in her hands.

“Uncle Moss!” the headless lady said, with excitement.

“Witchery!” Moss said with equal enthusiasm.

The two of them hugged.

Morticia said, “Great Uncle Moss and Aunt Witchery are here.”

Again, everyone said hello to them. Urbana quickly closed her eyes as Witchery turned her attention on the children. Lurch continued to play the piano.

“Oh, they’re getting so big,” Witchery said, “I haven’t seen them in forever.”

“Well, we can’t overwhelm Morticia or she won’t be able to sense us,” Moss said, “Come on, I want to look over my knives that I was stabbed with.”

Urbana squinted through one eye as they floated off the table then a woman appeared who looked like she was in her fifties. She was dressed more regal than everyone else and she seemed stuffier looking, even though she looked like a literal swamp monster.

Urbana closed her eye when she saw Cousin Sofia look her way, “Have you noticed the new blood among us.”

Once again Morticia sounded off who was present, and everyone said hello. Lurch seemed to fill the air with his piano playing.

“Oh, hello, Darlings,” Cousin Sofia said, “Do you think she married dear Cousin It or do you think she’s a visitor.”

“Ah, what does it matter,” Grandpapa said, “She’s joining in the family reunion so might as well treat her like family.”

“Oh, spirits of family passing,” Morticia said, “We have much to tell you.”

“Oh, I hope they tell us if it’s rained recently,” Witchery said.

“I want hear my grandbaby’s stories,” Grandpapa said.

“Honestly I hope they tell the new girl our stories, especially mine, it’s much more exciting,” Moss stated.

“It’s too bad Morticia didn’t inherit enough supernatural powers,” Cousin Sofia stated, “Then we’d be able to talk freely with them.”

Morticia asked if they could hear them and Grandpapa was the one who rang the little gargoyle bell.

“I want to go first,” Pugsley said. Then he explained how he got an A+ on three of his spelling tests and said his favorite wolf spider recently gave birth to new babies.

The ghosts were all proud of Pugsley, most of all Grandpapa, who commented that Pugsley gets his love of spiders from him.

Everyone had their turn telling their family what they did or how they were that month, Fester making a new explosion, Wednesday talking about improving her forensic studies, Gomez and Morticia learning chess together, Grandmama expanding her cooking into Japanese style of cooking, and so on. Eventually Urbana was asked to join in and say something.

“What do I even say,” Urbana said, feeling a cold sweat coming on from the feeling of the ghosts looking at her, “I’m a stranger.”

“Oh, you poor thing. She’s uncomfortable,” Witchery said.

“She’s brave for being here,” Moss said, “For whatever her reasons may be.”

“You can tell them whatever you like,” Gomez said, “But we won’t force you.”

Urbana felt a cold misty hand patting her head as Grandpapa said, “He’s right. You don’t have to talk.”

Urbana felt drained from him touching her.

“Dad?” Morticia said.

Urbana opened her eyes to see Morticia staring at her direction, behind her, where she assumed Grandpapa was standing. Urbana turned around to see that Grandpapa had locked eyes with Morticia.

“Morticia, my dear girl, can you see me,” Grandpapa said.

Everyone had opened their eyes and were staring at Morticia. She broke the hand chain to stand up.

“I see you,” Morticia said.

The other ghosts got excited for Grandpapa as he and Morticia went to each other to try and embrace each other.

“Can you really see him, love,” Gomez said.

“As clear as the stars on a new moon,” Morticia said as her hands passed through him.

“Maybe she’s just a late bloomer,” Witchery stated.

“No. It’s inconsistent with what we know,” Cousin Sofia stated, “If she really is a late bloomer, then she’d be able to see us too, but she can only see Frank. The only change is her.”

Urbana didn’t mean to look at Cousin Sofia when she directed her attention at her and the two of them locked eyes.

“She has the gift,” Cousin Sofia said.

Witchery got excited and accidentally dropped her head. Moss started to walk over to Urbana.

“Do you think Morticia will see me too, if I pat her head,” Moss said as he reached out to Urbana.

Urbana leaned back hard into her chair to avoid Moss’s reach and she fell backwards in her chair. The piano music stopped abruptly and the rest of the family turned to Urbana in concern.

“Are you okay,” Fester asked.

Urbana quickly got up, “I’m fine. I’m going to go now. I don’t want to intrude on the great family moment. I’ll be in my room.” Then she ran away before anyone could do or say anything else.

# # #

A couple of hours later Urbana heard someone knock on her bedroom door. The time on her phone read 11pm. Urbana got out of bed and opened her door to see Morticia standing before her in her frilly, long black nightgown.

“Can I help you Ma’am,” Urbana asked.

“May I come in,” Morticia asked.

Urbana opened her door wider and let her in. Morticia went to the widow seat and sat down and motioned for Urbana to sit by her and she did.

“I’m here to apologize,” Morticia said.

“For?” Urbana said.

“Despite my best intentions, I forced you to come to our séance and I made you feel uncomfortable and scared,” Morticia said, “You don’t have to forgive me for making you feel that way, but I want you to know that you never have to force yourself to do anything like that in this house hold just because you pay to live here.”

Urbana’s head was spinning, “I’m sorry?”

“No. I’m sorry,” Morticia said.

“No. No, no. I’m just. I’ve never had anyone apologize to me for making me feel uncomfortable,” Urbana said.

“Oh,” was all Morticia could say.

“How did you know, by the way,” Urbana asked, “that I was uncomfortable.”

“Dad told me what the others tried to do and they’re all sorry as well,” Morticia said.

“Oh,” Urbana said.

“Is it okay, if I ask why you didn’t want to tell us about your ghost sight,” Morticia asked.

Urbana hesitated then said, “It’s not okay.”

Morticia smiled kindly, “And that’s okay,” She stood up to go then said, “Thank you, for your help in letting me see my father.”


	3. Halloween Family Reunion

Urbana Des Moines was sitting in the living room on a black fainting couch, working on a comic about the struggle of a girl who could see ghosts, called Careless Whispers, while Lurch was playing on a mini grand piano, playing Phantom of the Opera songs. Currently Lurch was playing the song Phantom of the Opera and Urbana was humming the lyrics to the song under her breath.

As Urbana reached for a 5B pencil beside her, she noticed Wednesday was there.

“Jesus Christ,” Urbana jumped and placed a hand over her heart. Lurch skipped a few notes, startled by Urbana’s outburst, saw Wednesday, greeted her with a single head nod, then went back to playing music.

“What are you doing,” Wednesday asked.

“Oh, I’m just, drawing. My comic,” Urbana said.

“Can I see?” she asked.

“Uh, sure,” Urbana said as she handed Wednesday her sketchbook so she could see the currently rough sketch of a black girl listening to a ghost, that looks decomposed and wearing a zebra suit, saying something annoying to her.

Urbana waited for the annoying part of the exchange where the looker will say, “Oh, it’s so pretty,” and Urbana will have to say, to be polite, “Thanks.” Even though the art piece isn’t done yet and she doesn’t feel like it’s pretty enough for the complement, yet.

After Wednesday was done looking at it, she handed it back wordlessly. Then she continued to stand there.

Urbana drummed her fingers on the back of her sketchbook, “So, how’s your weekend going?” She asked.

“It’s okay,” Wednesday said, “I’m looking forward to the family reunion this Halloween.”

“Living or spectral,” Urbana asked.

“Mostly living,” was her reply.

Urbana nodded with a tight-lipped smile, “Cool.”

“Can I watch you draw,” Wednesday asked.

“Oh, sure,” Urbana said as she made room for Wednesday to sit by her.

After Wednesday got comfortable Urbana handed Wednesday her drawing pencils to hold. They sat there together for an hour, listening to Lurch play the piano while Urbana finished her drawing. Urbana stood up and stretched.

“Now all I have to do is watercolor paint it and it’ll be ready to be put on ComicToGo,” she said.

“Is that the site you put your comics on,” Wednesday asked.

“Yah,” Urbana said.

“Cool,” Wednesday said as she handed Urbana her pencils back, “Will you be able to come to the family reunion party?”

“Should I even come,” Urbana asked, “I’m not even a part of the family and I bet it’ll be a black-tie event. The fanciest clothes I’ve got are my work clothes.”

Wednesday placed her hand on Urbana’s forearm and said, “We’re a family that loves having people outside the family joining us, no one will mind.”

“Mmm, I’ll see if Halloween lands on a weekend. If it does, then I’ll join the festivities. If not, well, I just have work and school to worry about,” Urbana said.

Wednesday didn’t crack a smile or act physically excited, but Urbana could tell that Wednesday was exuding delight, which was odd to Urbana since she didn’t understand why she would be so eager for her to go.

# # #

Halloween night landed on a Saturday and Urbana took the time to mentally prepare herself for the flood of new people she would have to meet. Considering how weirdly Gothic-Gory-Fun*TM they are, and what Urbana saw from the séance, they’re going to be a lot more draining on her energy than normal people are to her.

On the night of the party, Urbana tried to avoid everyone by hiding in the kitchen and helping Grandmama finish cooking all the mini-foods and carving out a couple of pumpkins for Lurch to set out for the last of the decorations. Eventually Gomez found her and dragged her to their room for Morticia to dress up. Morticia had Urbana try on different dresses from her closet, but none of them really fit her nor was she comfortable enough in them since all of the dresses were too low cut for her. Finally, Morticia decided to have Urbana try on one of Gomez’s suits. They fitted nicely and Urbana felt comfortable in it.

“Oh, you look so dashing,” Gomez said after Urbana walked out of their closet.

“I feel dashing,” Urbana said, “Is this why you wear suits all of the time?”

“Yes,” Gomez said.

Morticia motioned Urbana over to her vanity table, “Now let’s do your hair.”

“Oh, it’s best if you leave it alone,” Urbana said as she smoothed down her frizzy, fluffy locks, “This thing is almost untamable without the proper hair products.” Her hair bounced back up, defying gravity.

“I just want to put your hair in a low ponytail,” Morticia stated.

Urbana went over to her and sat down before her, then she said, “Good luck with that.”

With great effort but little pain on Urbana’s end, Morticia managed to get her hair into a low ponytail and held down by three super hair ties, then she wrapped a black ribbon around the hair ties to give Urbana a bit of flair.

“You were right to go with the ponytail, my love,” Gomez said, “She’ll have men and women pining after her all night.”

Urbana laughed as Morticia said, “I think so too.”

“You guys are too much,” Urbana said, “But thank you for the complements.”

Outside their bedroom, they could hear someone storming towards them, then Fester barged in and said, “Come on, Gomez! The sibling dance-off is going to start soon.”

“Already!” Gomez said, then he quickly stood up, gave Morticia a peck on the lips, then ran off with Fester to the ballroom.

As the two men ran off, Wednesday walked in. She was wearing a pure black dress that hang right above her ankles. The dress looked like it was made of silk and the long sleeves of her dress was made of a see-through material with bat designs on them.

“Oh, you look beautiful, Wednesday,” Morticia said.

“Thank you, mother,” Wednesday said.

“I agree,” Urbana stated, “You do look beautiful. I especially like the bats.”

Wednesday looked down at her feet and mumbled a thank you. Urbana could feel her radiating embarrassment. She didn’t mean to make Wednesday feel embarrassed.

As Urbana was about to apologize Wednesday said, “You look pretty, too.”

Morticia awed as Urbana said, “Thanks.”

Wednesday glared at her mother who was trying to hide her smile under her hand, then Wednesday marched over to Urbana and pulled her out of her mother’s room.

"I'll see you downstairs,” Morticia called after them.

The ballroom was full of different people. All of them so interesting looking, that describing them would require their own encyclopedia book. In the center of the ball room were ten couples, one of the couples was Gomez and Fester, so Urbana assumed the other nine couples were siblings too. One of the couples, a tall were-bear looking man and a shorter man that was born with dwarfism, were dancing together in the circle that was made. The small man was standing on top of the were-bear’s shoulders and was doing the same dance moves as the tall man, it was really impressive to watch.

Wednesday pulled at her hand and said, “Come on. I’ll show you one of my favorite games I like to play.”

She led Urbana outside to the front yard. The yard was lit by jack-o-lanterns and tall six-pointed candelabras and hanging above were floating paper lanterns. Urbana wasn’t sure how they were keeping them from floating away without tying them down. Sure, there could be a reasonable explanation but with this family, Urbana couldn’t apply normal logic to just anything here. All the candle lights gave the front yard a warm glow in the cold night air.

The front yard had plenty of games going on; apple dunking, but instead of apples it was body parts, those test-your-strength hammer games, yard bowling, but instead of normal pins they were tiny skeletons that somehow reassembled themselves, a knife throwing competition, a ring tossing area, and badminton but the birdy was a shrunken head. Most of these games, Urbana didn’t think were that safe for children to be around.

Wednesday led Urbana to the knife throwing contest that was going on. They watched it for a while and Urbana got the idea that the craziest knife throwing trick you can do, the more points you get. After the contestants were finished the judge, who was dressed like a skeleton, asked the bystanders if they wanted to join in.

"I’m joining,” Wednesday said.

"Yo, little cous, of course you would,” skeleton man said, then he addressed the audience, “Get ready for the show of your life, those of you who don’t know Wednesday the three-year champ of knife throwing.”

Urbana nervously watched as Wednesday asked her skeleton cousin to be in the line of knife fire. Skeleton guy stood before a wall painted with various sized bullseyes. Besides Wednesday were several dozen throwing knives, presumably provide by skeleton man, and Wednesday asked her skeleton cousin to t-pose. Then in rapid succession, Wednesday threw about three dozen knives around her cousin and when she finished there was a perfect outline of skeleton cousin. Everyone cheered. Urbana was blown away and glad she didn’t die from her heart attack.

"Looks like you’re the winner again this year,” Skeleton man said.

"Thank you, Cousin Boneless,” Wednesday said.

Urbana went up to Wednesday, “That was absolutely breathtaking. That must have taken you years to get down.”

A prideful smile curled Wednesday’s lips, “I can do even more impressive tricks than that. Do you want to see?”

"Maybe later,” Urbana said, not wanting to dampen Wednesday’s spirits, but also not wanting to experience another heart attack from watching her do her tricks again, “I actually want to get back inside and get something to eat.”

That’s okay. I’ll show you my favorite food that Grandmama only makes for this party,” Wednesday said as she grabbed Urbana’s arm and led her back inside.

As Wednesday was off gathering food for them to share, Urbana watched at the edge of the dancefloor, Gomez and Fester tearing it up on the dancefloor with their acrobatic skills and timed dance moves. When they finished everyone clapped for them and as Urbana clapped a very hairy looking person, shaped like the streamlined nose of an airplane. The hairy person was wearing a top hat and had no other physical clothes that Urbana could see through or on its brown hair.

<“I haven’t seen Wednesday like this before,”> he said but it didn’t sound like normal words, it was a combination of whistles, hums, and grunts. Urbana didn’t understand how she was understanding him.

"Uh, hi,” Urbana said.

<“Oh, where are my manners,”> they said, <“I’m Cousin It. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”> Then he bowed slightly.

"Like wise,” Urbana said with a little bow, “I’m Urbana Des Moines.”

<“So, you’re the new tenant here. Gomez and Morticia and everyone else are so happy that you decided to live here,”> Cousin It said.

Urbana scratched her head, “Yah, I get that impression.”

Morticia walked up to them. She was wearing the fanciest looking, black silk dress Urbana has ever seen. The dress had no sleeves, the skirt was long enough to drag on the floor, and it was low cut but there were black ribbons laced in between the empty space for flare.

"I see you’ve found our dear Cousin It,” Morticia said as she stood before them.

Morticia and Cousin It exchanged complements and pleasant greetings.

<“Well, I’m going to go dance. It looks like the competition is over,”> Cousin It said before walking away.

Urbana watched Cousin It go, questioning weather what she was hearing was his actual voice or if she was going crazy.

"How are you enjoying the party Urbana,” Morticia asked.

“It’s good. Your family really knows how to party,” she said.

Morticia laughed, “We do indeed.”

A tango sounding song filled the ballroom and Gomez seemed to appear out of the blue beside Morticia.

"I believe that’s our song, love,” Gomez said.

Morticia offered her hand for him to take and said, “I believe it is.”

Gomez, with a flirtatious smile, took Morticia’s hand and they both walked onto the dance floor and began to tango.

Urbana didn’t believe herself much of a dancer but the way the band was playing made her want to cha-cha real smooth. Wednesday came up to her with a small plate of tiny sausages.

"They’re vegan,” Wednesday said.

The grimace on Urbana’s face relaxed, “Oh, cool.”

The two of them polished off the plate. Then Urbana asked, “Do you want to dance with me? I’d feel weird dancing by myself out there.”

Wednesday grabbed her hand and charged onto the dance floor.

Urbana had a great time dancing with Wednesday with all the spinning and laughing and booty shaking. Urbana danced so hard that once the song was over, she had to sit down and undo a few buttons on her dress shirt. Fester came to sit at the table that Urbana was sitting at, just as tired as she was.

"Children seem to have an endless supply of energy,” Fester stated before collapsing into the chair.

"I know,” Urbana said as she watched Pugsley and Wednesday dance together.

"How old are you,” Fester asked as he took the pocket handkerchief out and wiped his brow.

"I’m eighteen,” Urbana said.

“Ah, so you’re just starting your adult life,” Fester said, “Listen, try and go out and like jog or something every time you get the chance. You don’t want to get into the habit of staying indoors for long periods of time like me.”

“What do you even do,” Urbana asked.

“I’m an experimental chemist,” Fester stated, “I mix stuff and write my findings and send them to other chemists to check my work to see if it can be replicated.”

“That’s cool,” she said.

“Yah, I love it,” he said.

The two sat in silence for a minute or two, watching everyone else dance, eat, drink, and talk to each other.

“So, what do you think of Wednesday,” Fester asked, seemingly out of the blue for Urbana.

“She’s a fine kid. She and Pugsley have treated me like a long-lost sister and they’re both adorable in their own ways,” Urbana stated.

“You know, Wednesday has a crush on you,” Fester said.

Urbana was silent for a second, trying to prosses what she just heard.

“Urbana?” Fester asked.

“I’m sorry? That she has a crush on me?” Urbana said.

“Oh, you don’t have to be sorry,” Fester said, chuckling a little, “I didn’t tell you to hear you apologize.”

“Okay, then?” she said.

“Look, I told you because when I was Wednesday’s age, I developed a crush on an older girl too,” Fester explained, “She was a senior in high school, and I was in the seventh grade. When I eventually told her how I felt, she had the most shocked look on her face and in the moment, she said some horrible things to me then ran away.”

“That sucks,” Urbana said.

Fester shrugged with a half-smile on his face, “It happens. Maybe if she wasn’t so shocked by my confession maybe she would have let me down in a different way. I won’t ever know, but I’ve made peace with it a long time ago. You’re a nice woman, Urbana, I know you wouldn’t hurt Wednesday on purpose, but if I can prevent what happened to me for her, then I will.”

Urbana placed a hand over her heart and awed at Fester.

“Now that you know, you’ll have the time to gently let her down,” Fester said, “Or promise that when she turns eighteen you can date each other then. I think you’d make a good girlfriend for her.”

“Woah, now don’t get ahead of yourself,” Urbana said.

Fester laughed.

Wednesday walked up to Urbana and asked for another dance and she agreed.


	4. A Mother's Return

It was Thanksgiving break and Urbana Des Moines was helping Pugsley bleach his hair blond in a bathroom.

“Thanks again for helping me,” Pugsley said.

“No problem, Kid,” Urbana said, “You’re just lucky that I still have enough energy to deal with one more person today.”

“Bad day at work?” Pugsley asked as Urbana squished more horrible smelling chemicals into his hair.

“I had to deal with twelve intitled frat pricks who didn’t know what an indoor voice was,” Urbana stated.

“That sucks,” Pugsley said.

“Yah, well, it’s par for the course,” Urbana said.

Urbana saw Pugsley pout in mirror.

“Not everyone can be as polite and caring as you can,” Urbana said.

Pugsley was smiling again as Urbana finished bleaching his hair. She instructed him to not wash it out for thirty minutes and then he could take a shower and then she would give him a little buzz cut.

“You’re so good at hair stuff,” Pugsley said.

“Thanks, I learned from my Mom and Grandmother,” Urbana said, “My Grandma still runs the barber shop today.”

“What does your Mom do then,” Pugsley asked as he followed her out of the bathroom and up two flight of stairs.

“Oh, my Mom’s dead,” Urbana said, “She died when I was 13 on Thanksgiving.”

Pugsley followed Urbana to her room and Urbana started to set up shop to draw a new comic on her bed.

“Is it okay if I ask how she died,” Pugsley asked.

“Heart aneurysm,” she said, not looking at Pugsley.

“That’s sad,” Pugsley said, “But you can see and talk to ghosts. At least you could still talk to her.”

Urbana smiled a small smile, “Yah, but it didn’t make it easier for either of us to move on, but I got an apology out of it when she saw I was the only one who could see her. She officially crossed over when I was 14 and I haven’t seen her since.”

“Have you tried calling her? I don’t know much, but I know time is wonkier in the afterlife than it is here,” Pugsley said, “I’m sure she still wants to talk to you.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea, I don’t want to deal with another demon ghost again,” Urbana said.

“Oh, you should talk to Grandmama then,” Pugsley said, “She’s an honorary Witch. She knows all kinds of herbal potions and powders that can ward off evil spirits.”

Urbana paused for a moment, then she said, “Alright. I’ll go talk to her, but go take a shower man, the bleach is starting to make me lightheaded.”

# # #

“You’re going to join our thanksgiving séance,” Morticia asked, sounding worried. She was sitting at the kitchen table having a cup of tea and previously was visiting with her mother.

“What changed your mind, Dear,” Grandmama asked as he handed Urbana a cup of tea.

“I still think it’s a bad idea, but Pugsley said that you have powders and potions that help keep unwanted spirits at bay,” Urbana said, holding the warm cup of tea in her hands.

“Well, yes,” Grandmama stated, “It takes me a month to make the proper charms and powders to keep this household safe from the dead that would like to hurt us.”

“We never do séances willy-nilly, Urbana,” Morticia explained, “I remember when I did my first séance when I was 10.”

Grandmama started to laugh hard while Morticia looked away, embarrassed.

When Grandmama stopped laughing she said, “Oh, it was a disaster. Whoever she let into our home started making blood ooze though our walls, items flew around trying to get broken, and they had the worst potty mouth written all over the walls.”

“She was an impish ghost to be sure,” Morticia said.

“I never had more fun exercising this home than that whole year,” Grandmama said.

“So, it’ll be safe for me to call on my mother,” Urbana asked.

“Of course, Dear,” Grandmama said, “Why don’t you invite your whole family. I’m sure they would love to talk with her again.”

“No,” Urbana said, “I left home on a sour note with Dad and Grandma. They wanted me to go to school to be a hairdresser so I could continue working at the barber shop, but that wasn’t what I wanted.”

They nodded their heads in understanding and Morticia said, “Gomez and Fester went through the same thing with their family. Don’t be afraid to ask for their advice, if you want it.”

“I’m just happy you’ll be joining us again,” Grandmama said, “Thanksgiving is when I go all out on my experimental cooking.”

“Your food is always delicious so I can’t wait,” Urbana said.

Grandmama pinched her cheek while cooing at Urbana.

# # #

Urbana helped set up the dining room table with plates and silverware and candles. Since it was too cold, Wednesday and Pugsley draped see through black curtains over the tall windows with Lurch’s help. Gomez helped Grandmama put the covered food on the table and Morticia and Fester placed the dead’s offerings on a separate table; a silver goblet, a painting of a black dog, Grandpapa’s favorite cookies, an old doll, and a drawing of Urbana’s mother that she drew for the occasion.

While Thing was lighting up the candles on the table, everyone gathered around and sat down while Lurch went to his grand piano and started to play his music. Morticia sat the gargoyle bell on the table then everyone held hands and closed their eyes.

“Cousin Honeydew, Great, Great Grandpa Moony, Grandpapa Adams, and Aunt Susie,” Morticia said aloud, “I call out to you and invite you into our home.”

Urbana could feel the room getting heavy with fog and the familiar feeling of a chill crawling up her spine signaled their near appearance.

“Rosie Louise Des Moines,” Urbana called out, “I’m here! Can you hear me!”

Urbana heard Grandpapa Adams appear, but she felt two presence. Urbana opened her eyes and Grandpapa gave her a little wave. A large, shaggy, gray werewolf stood behind Grandpapa, looking like he was trying to hide behind the man even though he was much larger than Grandpapa.

“I’m so glad you came to visit us again,” Grandpapa said, “I promise we won’t touch you.”

“Thanks,” Urbana said, “I also invited my mother to the reunion. I hope that’s okay with you?”

“You’re talking to my dad and Grandpa Moony, right,” Morticia asked.

“Yah,” Urbana said.

Everyone else greeted them.

Grandpa Moony’s tail waged in excitement at seeing his family again. While Grandpapa went to kiss Grandmama on the cheek.

“So, are you stuck as a werewolf or are you like that for other reasons,” Urbana asked Grandpa Moony.

Grandmama answered, “Oh, Great Grandpa always hated wearing clothes, especially when he was a pup, so he chose to always stay as a werewolf so he wouldn’t have to wear clothes.”

“I mean, fur is a type of clothing,” Grandpa Moony said.

“Yah, but you can’t take fur off like a coat,” Urbana said to him.

“Shaving,” was Grandpa Moony’s only reply.

While Grandpa Moony went to smell the cookies with Grandpapa two more people appeared. An extremely tall woman who looked taller than Lurch in a more modern looking outfit of shorts and a basketball jersey and a little girl in a frilly white dress that looked extremely old-fashioned like it was from the Victorian Era.

Morticia announced their arrival and Urbana, while making eye contact, said, “Hi.” While everyone else blindly greeted the air.

“Oh, you can see us,” the little girl said, in a matter of fact way.

“Is that rare, you don’t seem surprised, Aunt Susie,” the tall woman said.

“I suppose they would be rare for you, Honeydew,” the little girl said, “What’s really rare though is that she’s a walking ghost conduit.”

“A ghost battery?” Cousin Honeydew asked.

“That’s one way to put it,” Aunt Susie said as she went to touch the doll.

“That’s so cool,” Cousin Honeydew said.

“Don’t touch her, please,” Grandpapa said, “I promised her we wouldn’t try and siphon her energy.”

“Awe, man,” Cousin Honeydew said before walking over to the offering table.

After almost ten minutes of everyone talking about their month and Urbana relaying the dead’s messages back to them, she was beginning to lose hope that her mother was ever going to come. Then Urbana smelled sweet and sour green apple, her mother’s favorite shampoo to use and she felt the hairs on the back of her neck raise. Then she saw her mother fall face first onto the kitchen table, rattling the plates and candles.

“Oh, my!” Morticia said, “Is she alright?”

“I’m fine,” Rosie said as she got up and brushed off her blue jeans and floral t-shirt. They were the same clothes that she died in.

“Mom,” Urbana said, unable to not sound choked up.

Looking shocked, Rosie turned to her daughter and said, “Urbana?” Also unable to not sound choked up. “Look at you. You’re so big.”

“Yah,” Urbana said.

Rosie went to give her a hug but then hesitated and instead waved. Then she looked around and saw the other ghosts.

“Where… Where am I,” she asked.

“Welcome, Mrs. Des Moines,” Morticia said, “Your daughter has moved in with us a few months ago and we all love having her here.”

“Wait, how old are you now,” Rosie asked her daughter.

“I’m going to be nineteen soon, Mom,” Urbana said.

Rosie floated off the table to stand beside her daughter then said, “I’ve missed almost five years of your life.”

“Yah,” Urbana said sadly.

“It feels like I left for the Neitherworld only a few weeks ago,” Rosie said.

“You get used to it,” Aunt Susie said.

“You read your booklet, right,” Grandpapa asked.

“I did,” Rosie said, “but, I guess it doesn’t really sink in until you experience it.”

“I know you must be shocked, right know,” Morticia said, “but we hope you’ll enjoy your short stay here.”

“Can she see and hear me,” Rosie asked her daughter.

“No, she’s can only sense your presence and what you’re feeling,” Urbana explained.

Rosie nodded her head.

“Rosie,” Gomez said, “We have a tradition of inviting our dead family members into our home to talk and enjoy each other’s company. Would it be okay if we keep inviting you here to talk with us?”

Rosie asked her daughter, “Will Stan and my mother be here as some point?”

Urbana looked away and said, “I don’t know.”

“Is that her answer or are you answering a question she had,” Fester asked.

“I would love to stay and talk and keep coming back,” Rosie said.

Urbana explained herself and told them her mother’s answer.

“Oh, wonderful,” Grandmama said, “Now that everyone’s here, let’s eat.”

Then Grandmama revealed the first dish to be a plate full of deep-fried cicadas.

Urbana was starting to retract her idea of Grandmama being one of the most normal people of the family as Grandmama revealed more bug-based dishes.

“Do they always eat bugs,” Rosie asked.

“No, this is my first-time seeing dishes like this,” Urbana answered.

Urbana filled her plate up with a little bit of each dish and after taking a few tentative bites she decided that the food wasn’t that bad and most of them had a nice crunch to them like celery or a fresh apple but deep fried or sautéed or grilled. She didn’t like the ones that popped like the grubs.

As they ate Urbana told her mom about what she’s been doing with her life and how she’s doing. Rosie would sometimes ask how her husband and mother were doing but Urbana would always somehow avoid the question. When everyone was done eating and everyone had said what they wanted to say the Addams Family, Urbana cleaned everything up and the ghosts started to leave.

“Mom, before you go. I want you to officially meet Mrs. Addams,” Urbana said.

“How, exactly,” Rosie asked.

“Just siphon off some of my energy,” Urbana said.

“Oh, honey, but I don’t want to drain you,” Rosie said.

Urbana reassured her mother and then Rosie kissed Urbana on the forehead.

“Mrs. Addams, my mom. Mom, Mrs. Addams,” Urbana said.

“You look so much like your mother, Dear,” Morticia said.

“Yah, we use to get that a lot,” Rosie said, “Thank you for being so kind to my daughter.”

“You’re welcome, she’s a lovely person. Pugsley and Wednesday just love her,” Morticia said.

Then her mother vanished back to the Neitherworld.


	5. Christmas Choir Recital

Urbana Des Moines was sitting in the library trying to read _Withering Heights_ for her English 2 class, but she kept getting distracted by her own thoughts. She wondered if it would be a good idea to invite her Grandma and Dad to her Christmas Choir Recital that she was going to have that week at college. Then Urbana felt someone’s presence coming up behind her and she knew it wasn’t a ghost. She quickly turned around and threw her book at Gomez Addams who dodged and threw an épée fencing sword at Urbana, she caught it and they said en garde then started to fence each other.

“You’re getting better, my dear,” Gomez complemented.

“Thank you, sir,” Urbana said as she smoothly parried and sidestepped his fleche attack.

Gomez initiated a point‐in‐line, his fencing arm outstretched, and Urbana got close enough to perform a beat, sharply tapping Gomez’s sword. As the two of them circled each other Urbana was mostly on guard while Gomez was mostly on the attack. In less than five minutes Gomez managed to lightly tap Urbana on the chest getting the first point.

“Good job,” Gomez said, “You’re getting better, my dear.”

“And my footing was okay,” Urbana asked.

“It was perfect,” he said, “Have you been practicing?”

She shrugged, “A little.” Then her mind trailed off to her Choir Recital.

“Are you okay,” Gomez asked, “You seem a little distracted. Which is dangerous in fencing.”

Urbana was silent for a moment. Deciding weather or not if she really wanted to tell Gomez about her situation but then she remembered what Morticia said about Fester and Gomez’s family life and thought if anyone could understand what she was going though it would be those two.

“At my college, I’m having my first Christmas Choir Recital there and I was wondering if I should invite my family,” Urbana said.

Without hesitation Gomez said, “Oh, definitely do that. In fact, we’ll come too.”

“But aren’t your siblings and mother coming over,” Urbana asked, “Don’t you guys only come together during the Christmas week.”

“Which is why it would be perfect to take them to a Christmas Choir. Fester and I weren’t big on Christmas growing up back home, but our brothers and sisters and mother just adore Christmas. They’ll love to go,” Gomez said then asked, “Why are you so unsure about inviting your family?”

“Because of our fight when I left and because I haven’t talked to them since I moved in here,” Urbana said as she looked down at her feet.

Gomez placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, “I know how you feel. Fester and I didn’t talk to my family for a whole year when I married Morticia.”

“Wait, why didn’t they want you marrying Morticia. She’s so nice,” Urbana said.

“I know,” Gomez said, “But when your family is a little too proud of their Mexican heritage you end up placing expectations on your children before they even get the chance to choose anything yourself.”

“They wanted you to marry a Mexican woman,” Urbana stated.

Gomez nodded and then he added, “And they kept pestering Fester to get married and have children even though he wasn’t and isn’t interested in any of that stuff.”

“How did you get them to listen to you two,” Urbana asked.

“We kept trying to talk to them,” Gomez said, “It’s not easy. It’s still not easy, but we’re all happier and enjoy each other more because of our want to understand each other.”

Urbana smiled to herself and Gomez patted her shoulder before retracting his hand.

“I’m sure they don’t want to lose you like they lost your mother,” Gomez stated kindly.

“I’m going to go call my dad,” Urbana said.

# # #

Urbana fixed her shirt collar as she stood backstage with her classmates. The auditorium was full and the random people’s voices filled the room. A female classmate, who’s name maybe was Wendy, came up to her and pulled up her skirt to be right underneath her boobs.

“That’s how you’re suppose to wear that,” she said.

“But it’s so high, and it feels unflattering,” Urbana said.

“Don’t worry. The skirt is long enough,” Maybe Wendy said.

Urbana didn’t say anything as she peaked behind the curtain to see if she could find her father and grandmother. Near the front she could see the Addams family and Fester and Gomez’s family the González.

“Alright everyone, get into place,” Dr. Bame called, “Does everyone have their music papers?”

Urbana grabbed her music folder from a chair she placed it in and got in the alto section of the choir line.

“Let’s warm up our voices,” Dr. Bame said. Then she let them though chants of Do Re Me’s and fake yawning. After that Dr. Bame said, “You all worked hard for this day. You should be proud and the people who will hear you sing will be proud of you too. Ready?”

“Ready, ma’am,” Urbana said with the thirty other people in her choir.

The curtain raised and Urbana saw Pugsley point her out and he and Wednesday waved at her. She smiled and gave a small wave back. She still didn’t see her family in the crowd. Dr. Bame tapped her baton on the music stand and they started to sing _God Rest ye Merry Gentlemen_.

Urbana sang the Christmas songs with the same ease and familiarity as the muscle memory of an experienced jazz drummer musician. It helped that she’s been in choir since she was ten. As she sang, she kept looking for her family in the crowd but the contrast of her being in the spotlight and the audience in the dark didn’t make it easy for her. By the time they were at their eighth and last song, _The Christmas Song_, Urbana figured that they decided that they didn’t want to come to her recital.

At the reception Urbana got a lot of hugs from the Adams family and handshakes from Gomez and Fester’s seven siblings and mother. Thing crawled up Urbana’s leg to her shoulder then gave her a congratulatory pat on the side of her head. Lurch patted her other side of her head.

Urbana patted their hands and said, “Thanks guys.”

“You sang beautifully,” Wednesday said.

“I agree,” Fester added, “Why don’t you sing around the house more often?”

“Oh, I don’t want to be a bother,” Urbana said.

“Nonsense,” Gomez said.

“I would love to hear you sing in the kitchen,” Grandmama added.

“My plants would love to listen to you too,” Morticia said.

“You could do a duet with Lurch’s piano playing,” Pugsley said.

“Urbana,” Grandma Harp said.

Urbana turned around to see her grandmother hunched over her cane. She was wearing a black sequence dress and she had her gray hair up in a bun made of little braids. And she was wearing big, dangly hoop earrings.

Urbana smiled wide and said, “Grandma!”

“I almost didn’t recognize you, Baby,” Grandma Harp said, “Do I get a hug?”

Urbana embraced her grandmother. Despite being an old woman, her arms and hands were still strong and steady.

“Grandma, where’s Dad,” Urbana asked after they were done hugging.

“Oh, he’s in the bathroom. He’ll see you shortly. But first, who are these people,” Grandma Harp asked.

Urbana introduced the Addams family to her grandmother and Fester and Gomez introduced their siblings and mother.

“You’re an interesting looking family,” Grandma Harp said.

“Thank you,” Morticia and Gomez said.

The González looked offended, but they didn’t say anything.

“You are living safely, yes,” Grandma Harp asked Urbana.

“Yes, Grandma,” Urbana said.

Grandma Harp patted Urbana’s forearm, “You’re always welcome to come back home and live with us for free, Baby.”

“Thanks, Grandma,” Urbana said.

Then Urbana saw her father walk up to them. His salt and pepper hair was shaved down like usual and he was wearing a casual looking black suit. His bowtie was a white tie that depicted different images of Foghorn Leghorn from the classic Looney Toons cartoon. To Urbana he seemed to walk towards them unwillingly.

“Hey, Dad,” Urbana said, sounding unsure.

“Urbana. You sounded good up there,” he said.

“Thank you, sir,” Urbana said.

“Call me Dad,” Bob demanded.

“Thank you, Dad,” Urbana repeated herself.

Bob looked at the Addams and González family then back at his daughter.

“Are these the people you’ve moved in with,” Bob asked his daughter.

“Yes, Dad,” Urbana said.

He didn’t say anything else about them.

“How has school been treating you,” Bob asked his daughter.

“It’s fine. I’m having fun,” Urbana said.

“Regretting anything,” Bob asked.

Urbana was starting to regret this conversation, but she said, “All the reading assignments are kind of hard, but I know it’s good for me.”

Bob nodded his head curtly, “I see. Well, you know you are always welcome to come back and help your grandmother in the barber shop.”

“I know, Dad,” Urbana said then added, “We’re going to go out to eat at the Olive Garden that I work at, do you want to join us?”

Bob declined the offer with a shake of his head, “Your grandmother and I have a long drive back home.”

“Oh, okay,” Urbana said, half relieved half disappointed.

Bob hugged his daughter and said, “You look so much like your mother.”

Urbana patted his back and said, “I know.”

Once he was done hugging her, Bob put an arm around Grandma Harp’s shoulders and helped her out the building. When they were out of ear shot Urbana turned to the Addams and González family and apologized for her family’s rude behavior.

“Oh, it’s okay, Dear,” Grandmama said, “We understand that your grandmother and father are only being overprotective.”

Gomez and Fester’s Mother said, “Well, at least he did a good job in raising a decent human being, if nothing else.”

“Mother,” Fester said.

She crossed her arms over her chest and looked away from her son.

“I don’t know how he does it, but Dad always makes me feel bad whenever I talk to him,” Urbana said as she fiddled with her fingers.

Morticia wrapped an arm over Urbana’s shoulder’s, “Have you ever talked to him about it?”

“No. I’m afraid of what he’d say or do,” Urbana said.

Gomez patted Urbana’s back and said, “It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything to him yet. But you should eventually if you want to keep your relationship with him and your grandmother.”

Urbana just shrugged.

“Welp, let’s go eat,” said one of Fester and Gomez’s sisters.

Everyone else agreed.


	6. Ghost Hunters

Urbana Des Moines was driving up the gravel road, having just gotten off work. It was 4:00pm and she was already ready to go to bed, but she always feels like that after getting off work and having to deal with too many people. When the gate opened, Urbana noticed that there was a strange van parked in front of the Addams Family Victorian home. It was a white van with the Buzzfeed Unsolved logo on the sides of it. Urbana had a sinking feeling settle in her as she parked beside the van.

Once she was inside two men were sitting and talking in the middle of the living room while a camera crew filmed them talking about where they are. Mr. and Mrs. Addams were standing to the side with their kids, apparently, they were going to answer some questions after the tall man and short man were done talking to the camera. Urbana tried to get to her room as quietly as possible. She didn’t want to deal with ghost hunters.

After hiding in her room for an hour someone knocked on her door and when she opened it, it was Lurch.

“They want to talk to me,” Urbana asked him.

With a groan he nodded.

Urbana sighed then said, “Alright.”

She followed Lurch down the stairs and to the kitchen to see the two men looking eager to talk to her. Three different camera men stood around them pointing their cameras at her and them.

“Hi, I’m Ryan Bergara and this is my associate, Shane Madej and we’re Buzzfeed’s ghost busters,” Ryan said.

“I wouldn’t say we’re ghost busters,” Shane said.

“You don’t,” Ryan said.

“Well, I mean, we’d have to at least have seen a ghost to bust it,” Shane said, “Don’t you think?”

“I’ve seen a ghost,” Ryan stated.

“No you didn’t, you just scream at shadows. At the most we’re ghost hunters,” Shane replied.

Urbana rolled her eyes.

“I know what I saw,” Ryan said, sounding defensive.

“I believe that you believe what you saw,” Shane said.

Ryan waved off his friends comment then said, “We’re getting off track,” then he turned back to Urbana, “What’s your name?”

“Urbana Des Moines,” she said, her arms crossed over her chest.

“Nice to meet you,” Ryan said.

“Urbana,” Shane said dramatically, “Do you believe… in ghosts.”

“Well, I exist. So, I guess I do,” Urbana said then she stared directly into one of the cameras and continued, “There’s nothing better than haunting your own halls.”

Shane turned to his small friend and said, “I like her. She’s going to be fun to film for this episode.”

Ryan, very seriously said, “The people of Westfield here say that this home is the most hunted residence in New Jersey, even the family that lives here believes that their house is haunted. What do you think? Have you been kept up at night by strange knockings, or heard whispers when you should be alone?”

“The only thing that’s going to keep me up is you two and your camera crew,” Urbana said.

“Oh! She got you,” Shane said.

“Don’t be an ass,” Ryan said, “She’s including you too.”

“Yah, but you believe in ghosts so it’s funnier,” Shane said as he leaned back and clapped his hands together.

“So, what are you two going to do,” Urbana asked.

“We’ll be given a tour of the family graveyard by Morticia and her mother at sundown then we’ll join the rest of the family in their séance tonight. Then after the séance we’ll sleep in a tent in the graveyard,” Ryan said.

“You feel like this is the one,” Shane asked Ryan.

“I’ve repeatedly said that I don’t have any psychic abilities, but I feel confident that we’ll get evidence here,” Ryan said.

Urbana looked to Lurch, and he only shrugged at her then walked out of the kitchen.

Grandmama walked into the kitchen through the outside entrance with Morticia walking in behind her.

“Who’s ready to see all of our dead relatives,” Grandmama asked.

“Yah, dead relatives,” Shane cheered.

Ryan sighed then said, “Here goes nothing.”

The camera crew followed the Buzzfeed stars while they followed Grandmama. Morticia held the door open for everyone then once everyone was through, she asked Urbana, “Do you want to join us? It’ll be fun.”

Urbana shrugged, “Sure. I’ve avoided the graveyard for long enough.”

When Urbana was young, before her family moved to the new house, she use to live down the street from a graveyard. Urbana use to love that graveyard and graveyards in general because it was so easy making friends there with the dead spirits that stay at their tombs because their loved ones still visited them. Then one day she accidentally befriended the wrong ghost and he haunted her and her family for two years before they moved to their new home in Northampton, Pennsylvania. Urbana has tried to avoid graveyards ever since. However, the experience did make for a good comic idea, but she hopes she never sees that zebra, shape shifting ghost guy ever again.

The Addams family graveyard was steeped in dark twilight as the last rays of the sun said its adieux and ushered in the night. There were at least a hundred headstones of various sizes, shapes, and grandeur. In the center of the graveyard was a black painted gazebo. Urbana saw several ghosts popping out of their graves to see what was up with the new people. Morticia and Grandmama introduced and told the story of every relative that they could. It was so sweet that Urbana couldn’t help but smile at how cutely proud they were of their dead relatives.

“He was pulled limb from limb by a horse,” Shane said, “How fascinating.”

“Uh, don’t you mean horrible,” Ryan said.

“Why not both,” Morticia said with a proud smile.

“Is it okay if use the spirit box,” Ryan asked Grandmama.

“Of course, Dear,” Grandmama said, “I’m always excited to see technological advantages for the non-supernatural in the supernatural field.”

“Oh, trust me,” Shane said while Ryan got out a little black box, “This isn’t very exciting.”

A sharp and loud static sound filled the air while the two ghost hunters did their spiel of trying to contact the local spirits. Urbana watched as most of the ghosts dived for their tombs and even Morticia’s usually calm demeanor seemed ruffled by the annoying noise.

A ghost that was floating beside Urbana said, “Wow that’s annoying.”

The spirit box echoed a _wow that’s_ and the two ghost hunters looked at each other.

“Hello? Can you say our names?” Ryan said.

The ghost beside Urbana asked her, “Do you think that was a coincidence or do you think it really picked me up?”

The spirit box echoed a _coincidence… picked_.

“What was a coincidence? What was picked?” Ryan asked the night.

“Come on ghouls! What are you waiting for! Come fuck us up,” Shane shouted into the night.

“Shane!” Ryan said.

“I think you’re all cowards! Why don’t you slither into my soul you useless bed sheets!” Shane continued to shout.

Ryan laughed nervously and the ghost beside Urbana laughed wholeheartedly then said, “They’re hilarious. I’m going to head back. Have fun with them.”

Urbana walked up to the two men and said, “Please turn it off.”

“Yes, Ryan. Please,” Shane said.

Ryan turned it off then said, “I don’t think we’re going to get anything else from this right now, I suppose.”

“Shall we continue the tour,” Morticia asked.

“Yes, lets,” Shane said.

“I’m getting out the heat sensing gun,” Ryan said.

Urbana noticed that near the center of the graveyard, by the gazebo, there were a couple of ghosts circling some bushes. She walked over there and saw through the darkness that Pugsley and Wednesday were hiding in the bushes wearing yokai masks; Pugsley wearing a red-faced mask with a very long nose and Wednesday wearing a mask that looked a lot like Aku’s face from Samurai Jack. They both put a finger over their mask’s lips, asking her to be quiet. With a small smile Urbana left them alone.

“You gettin’ anything on your heat gun there,” Shane asked his short companion.

“I’m getting a lot of localized cold spots,” Ryan said.

Morticia and Grandmama lead them to the gazebo then Morticia said, “If you like, you can sit here for a moment of silence and our ancestors will come up to you.”

“Dude, we should have brought our ouija board,” Shane said.

“We’ll be doing a séance later tonight,” Ryan said, “I’m nervous enough as is from that alone.”

“No need to be nervous,” Grandmama said while everyone was sitting down on the benches, “You’re perfectly safe here I make sure of that each month.”

“What you bless the house or something,” Ryan asked.

“Are you a priest,” Shane asked.

“Yes, I blessed the house and no I’m not a priest,” Grandmama said, “I’m a witch.”

As soon as Grandmama said witch Pugsley and Wednesday jumped out of the bushes screaming, startling all four adults but mostly Ryan as he ran straight for the house. Shane was laughing as he went after his friend.

Urbana walked over to the two giggling kids and hi-fived them. Morticia cleared her throat and through the darkness Urbana could see that Morticia was glaring at the three of them.

“I’m not mad. I’m just disappointed in all three of your behavior,” Morticia said.

They bowed their heads.

“The reason why we let them come here isn’t just because we’re trying to prove to them that ghosts exist but also to prove to them that the majority of ghosts aren’t bad people,” Morticia said.

“Sorry, Mom/Ma’am,” Urbana, Wednesday, and Pugsley said at the same time.

“Don’t apologize to me,” Morticia said as she pointed at where the camera crew and the BuzzFeed stars went, “Go apologize to them.”

Urbana hadn’t expected to feel guilty about pranking a few adults as they went off to go apologize to them. They found them back in the kitchen while Ryan was doubled over, hands on his knees, and breathing a little hard. Shane was standing beside him with a large smile on his face as he watched his friend calm down.

“Ah, the perpetrators, came to see your handy work,” Shane said as they walked in.

“We’re here to apologize,” Wednesday said.

“We’re sorry,” Pugsley said.

“Yes, we’re sorry,” Urbana said.

“It’s okay,” Ryan said as he stood up straight, “You got me good.”

“Those are some neat masks,” Shane said, “Can I see them?”

Wednesday and Pugsley handed Shane their masks.

“These are nice,” Shane said as he handed the Aku mask to Ryan.

“Our fourth cousin, Kono Addams,” Wednesday said, “made these a long time ago. We just raided his chest in the attic.”

“He’s been dead for a couple of decades now,” Pugsley added.

“How many people do you know that are in your family,” Ryan asked as they handed the children back their masks.

“I’ve studied our family lineage to be able to memorize up to 100 people,” Pugsley said, “And there are even more than that, but not everyone is blood related.”

“Yet, you still call them an Addams,” Shane said.

“Family’s family,” Wednesday said.

“That’s really sweet,” Ryan said.

“I kind of feel like a douche,” Shane said, “yelling like I did back there.”

“Good,” Ryan said.

Grandmama and Morticia walked into the kitchen.

“Are you ready to set up the séance,” Grandmama asked the two men.

“Yes, let’s,” Shane said.

“Who will we be contacting exactly,” Ryan asked.

“The people that weren’t buried in our family graveyard,” Morticia answered.

Grandmama said, “We pride ourselves in having our family wanting to be buried here, but a lot of the time they want to be buried with their wives or husbands or children in the public graveyards so that they will have easy access to their extended family. For example, my husband wanted to be buried next to his mother and father in New York and when I die, I want to be buried next to him.”

“I want to be buried here,” Morticia added, “I was born here, grew up here, and I want my spirit to wander the land here for eternity.”

Nervously Ryan said, “Nice.”

# # #

Urbana sat hand in hand with Pugsley on her left and Wednesday on her right at the dining table and she was sitting across from Shane. Lurch was playing Je te veux on the grand piano. The candlelight flickered and danced, giving the dining room a warm glow on the cold January night.

“Before I call on our family members, is there anyone you’d like to call on that has died in your family,” Morticia asked Shane and Ryan.

“Yah, you can call on my Grandma,” Shane offered.

“No, you’ll be calling on her,” Morticia said, “You are the one that is familiar with her and therefore there will be a higher chance of her appearing.”

“We’ve never heard a Medium say that before,” Ryan said.

“Why would a Medium suggest otherwise,” Morticia asked genuinely confused, “If I called on her it would be like getting a robot call asking for my credit information.”

“Oh, I hate those,” Shane said.

“That’s an interesting point,” Ryan said.

Everyone closed their eyes and Morticia called out to her father and three other family members then Urbana and Shane called out their family members. Rosie showed up around the same time as the other Addams family members did and Urbana was happy to see her mother, but Shane’s grandmother hadn’t showed up yet, maybe she’s going to be delayed like her mother first was.

“Honey, who are these people,” Rosie asked her daughter.

Urbana shrugged her shoulders, not wanting to talk with all the cameras watching them.

“So, do you often call on your mother during these séances,” Ryan asked Urbana.

“Yah, I like to pretend that I’m talking to her. It makes me feel better about her death,” Urbana said.

“When did you lose her,” Shane asked, “I lost my grandma when I was fifteen.”

“I was thirteen,” Urbana answered, “It was quite sudden.”

“I didn’t even realize I was down until I was dead,” Rosie stated as she leaned on Urbana’s chair.

“At the moment, I think I’m the only one here who died in their sleep,” Grandpapa Addams said beside his plate of cookies.

“Have the ghosts showed up, yet,” Ryan asked Morticia.

“All of them are here except for your grandma, Shane,” Morticia said.

“How convenient,” Shane said.

“Oh, come on Shane,” Ryan said, “Don’t be like that.”

“What!? All I’m saying is that it’s suspicious that all the other “ghosts” are here but not my grandma, someone that they can’t cold read off me,” Shane said.

“Maybe your grandma’s stuck in traffic,” Ryan said.

Shane laughed, “Oh, yah, ghost traffic.”

“Oh no, there is a hard boarder,” Rosie said, “They make it very hard for you to visit the living unless you are actively called on.”

“Is that why you took so long getting here when I first called on you,” Urbana asked her mother.  
“Who are you talking to,” Ryan asked Urbana.

“What,” Urbana said.

“Are you talking to a ghost,” Ryan pressed.

“No,” Urbana said, stretching out her no.

“I don’t know,” Shane said, “I’m not convinced.”

Then Shan’s grandmother appeared. She was wearing a pink shawl and a flowery church dress, and her white curly hair was covered in one of those see through rain bandanas.

“Your grandmother is here now,” Morticia said, “and she feels confused.”

Urbana thought she looked more than confused. She looked practically appalled.

Rosie went up to Shane’s grandmother and introduced herself and informed her of the situation. Shane’s grandmother looked to her grandson and went to stand beside him but first she gave him a hello kiss on his head.

“It suddenly got really breeze in here,” Shane stated.

“Maybe it’s your Grandma saying hi,” Ryan said.

“Yah, I doubt it,” Shane said.

Shane’s Grandmother laughed at his doubt.

“Now that everyone is here, we can tell them how our day was, and I will try to convey how they feel. If you have any yes or no questions, they will answer it by ringing the bell. One ring is yes, two rings is no,” Morticia explained then said, “Shane, is there anything you would like to say or ask your grandma?”

Shane shrugged then said, “Is the afterlife treating you alright?”

Urbana watched as Shane’s grandma went over to the gargoyle bell then flicked it once. A sharp ring filled the air. Ryan couldn’t help but flinch and say holy shit.

“Coincidence,” Shane said.

“The bell just fucking rang,” Ryan said, “How can you say it’s a coincidence.”

“Well first of all, language Ryan. There are kids here,” Shane said.

Gomez said, “It’s fine. They’re old enough to handle the responsibility of cursing.”

“Second of all, there’s probably a string attached to the bell or something like that,” Shane continued.

“You are free to hold on to the bell if you wish,” Morticia said.

Shane got up to take the bell, “I think I will.”

After taking the gargoyle bell and sitting back down Ryan said, “Ask your grandma another question.”

Shane thought for a moment then asked, “Do you miss being alive?”

Shane’s grandmother rang the bell once and Ryan freaked out again.

“Will you calm your tits,” Shane said.

“How are you not freaking out,” Ryan said.

Shane started patting down the bell trying to find something that would indicate some kind of outside interference.

“That’s my baby,” Shane’s grandma said to Urbana, “He was never much of a spiritual person.”

“Okay, one more question,” Shane said, “Do you still like karate chops?”

“What,” Ryan asked.

Shane shushed him.

“Oh, that’s a trick question,” Shane’s grandma said, “He means pork chops and I never liked them, but his grandpa did.” She then rang the bell twice, indicating a no.

“Only your grandpa liked pork chops,” Urbana said, without thinking.

Shane looked up at Urbana in shock while Ryan was distracted by the bell ringing on its own again. Urbana froze in place as she stared back at Shane, hoping that if she didn’t move, he wouldn’t be able to see her, as if he’s some Jurassic dinosaur.

The rest of the séance went without a hitch. Ryan stopped freaking out after the tenth bell ring, but he was still excited. Shane was reserved but Urbana couldn’t help but feel like he was keeping his eye on her. Urbana even managed to name drop her comic, _Careless Whispers_, when she was talking to her mother. Once the séance had ended, the Buzzfeed stars and camera crew went out to the graveyard to set up their equipment and tent. The next day, when Urbana came back from school, they had left.


	7. Valentine's Day

Urbana Des Moines was sitting in her room on her bed while watching Shimoneta. She was making Valentine Cards for everyone, even for her Father and Grandmother, she didn’t know what to say to them though. Urbana was working on Fester’s Valentine of making sure to use as many Chemistry jokes in it as she could think of when Pugsley burst into her room.

Pugsley said something but Urbana had her headphones in and couldn’t hear him. When she went to pause her show and take out her headphones Wednesday and Pugsley were fighting each other with Wednesday covering Pugsley’s mouth at all cost. It was rare for Urbana to see them fighting like this.

“Uh, what’s wrong,” Urbana asked.

They fell to the floor as Pugsley was trying to wrestle Wednesday off him.

“Pugsley is just being an ass,” Wednesday said as she kept forcing her hand over her brother’s mouth.

“Oh, well, that’s not good,” Urbana said as she got off of her bed, “Then I guess Pugsley doesn’t want his Valentine card that I made for him.”

The two of them stopped squirming on the floor as they looked at the card in Urbana’s hand. It had a picture of her ghost character from her comic holding his heart in his hands and making a gesture of giving it up.

Pugsley managed to get Wednesday’s hand off his mouth and he said, “Yes, I want it.”

“Then don’t be an ass to your sister,” Urbana said.

“But she has a surprise for you,” Pugsley said.

In a panic Wednesday tried to get Pugsley in a chock hold to stop him talking.

“Oh, I love surprises. But you know, you would ruin it for me if you told me what her surprise is for me. You’re not only ruining it for Wednesday,” Urbana said.

The two of them were too distracted from fighting each other.

Urbana clapped her hands together loudly then shouted, “That’s enough.”

They stopped struggling, surprised by Urbana’s outburst.

“Both of you get up,” Urbana demanded, and they did, “I want you both out of my room now. I’ll see you guys at dinner tonight. That is when I’ll give you guys my Valentines.”

“But don’t you want to know what your surprise is,” Pugsley asked her.

“I do not,” Urbana said, “I want to be surprised. I find surprises fun. So, don’t you dare tell me.”

Pugsley looked down at his feet, saddened by her words.

Wednesday said, “If _you_ have a surprise for her you can tell her yours.”

“Now shoo,” Urbana said, “I want to finish my Valentine cards.

They left as she closed the door but as she was about to get back to work on her cards someone knocked on her door. Urbana opened it to see Thing at her door.

Urbana picked them up and said, “Might as well give you your Valentine.”

Urbana sat Thing on her bed then handed them a card with the picture of two hands making a heart and saying, “_I think you’re Handsome_”. Thing felt the cover then opened it to reveal a bunch of holes.

“Half the time I don’t know if you understand me or not, so I thought I’d make you a Braille card using my hole puncher. I don’t know if you even know Braille, but I suppose it’s worth it either way,” Urbana said.

Thing ran their fingers over the holes reading, _You are a handy guy and you give the best hi-fives_.

Thing propped themselves up on their wrist stump then spelled out, “Thank you,” in ALS.

“You’re welcome little buddy,” Urbana said.

Then Thing picked up their card and crawled out of Urbana’s room.

# # #

After having finished making everyone’s cards Urbana went to go looking for them. She found Lurch first. He was dusting some picture frames of Pugsley and Wednesday when they were babies, Mr. and Mrs. Addams’s wedding photos, and a photo of when Mrs. Addams was a child with her twin sister on the second floor.

“Looking good Lurch,” Urbana greeted him.

Lurch nodded at her approach and grunted.

Urbana looked through her stack of cards then handed him a card that said on the front, _You are a lean, mean, cleaning machine_, with a drawing of Lurch dead lifting a washing machine. He opened it and read, _You put washing machines to shame. Thank you for all of your hard work._

“Hope you like it Lurch,” Urbana said.

Lurch closed it then patted it over his heart. He nodded.

“Oh, good,” Urbana said with a tip-toe hop, “See you at dinner tonight.”

Urbana was about to leave, but Lurch placed a hand on her shoulder then motioned for her to stay where she was.

“Uh, okay big guy,” Urbana said.

Lurch hobbled away and Urbana waited on the second floor for about five minutes. Then Lurch appeared behind her, seemingly out of nowhere. It didn’t startle Urbana though; she’s used to him suddenly appearing and reappearing around her by now.

Lurch handed Urbana a few music sheets. They were piano music sheets and the title of the song read _After the Ball_ and there were lyrics to the music. Urbana read a few of the lyrics then laughed.

“The child in this song is so rude,” Urbana said.

Lurch nodded in agreement.

“I would love to learn this then sing it while you play,” Urbana said, “Thank you.”

Lurch grunted happily then he went back to cleaning.

Urbana started to head for the Kitchen but then someone started knocking on the front door, so she went to get the door. On the step stood a Mariachi band dressed to the nines in black velvet and traditional Mexican clothing.

“Uh, hi?” Urbana said.

The Spanish guitarist tipped his large sombrero at her then asked, “Is this the Addams family home?”

“Yes, it is. I suppose you should come in,” Urbana said as she stepped aside. The Mariachi band walked in; there were two violinists, the Spanish guitarist, a vihuela player, a guitarrón, and two trumpet players.

“Are you looking for anyone in particular,” Urbana asked them.

“We’re supposed to play for a Gomez Addams. A Morticia Addams has bought our services for the day,” the Spanish guitarist said.

“Then I’ll go find Mrs. Addams,” Urbana said then she pointed in the direction of the living room and added, “You can relax in there while you wait.”

The Spanish guitarist tipped his sombrero at her in gratitude.

Urbana then ran for the kitchen calling out, “Grandmama!”

“No need to shout, Dear,” Grandmama said as she pulled out a large chocolate cake from the oven.

“Have you seen your daughter?” Urbana asked.

Grandmama sat the cake on top of the oven then closed the oven door while she thought for a moment, “Nope. Haven’t seen her since breakfast. The only place I could think that she could be is in the green house or in the graveyard.”

“Okay, thank you Grandmama,” Urbana said as she ran for the door in the kitchen that lead outside, deciding to check the graveyard first. She then froze at the door then walked over to Grandmama and handed her, her Valentine card. The drawing on the front depicted Grandmama holding her kitchen utensils like a ninja and in print it read, _You’re a Master Chief_. When Grandmama opened it and read, _Your skills are unmatched. Thank you for the food._

“Awe, thank you Dear,” Grandmama said, “Would you like a fresh piece of cake?”

“Later,” Urbana said, “Bye.”

Urbana walked around the large cemetery but only found Mr. Addams. He was prettying up the gazebo with candles, a few small plants with one large one, and a picknick blanket. He looked like he was setting up a little dating area for Morticia and himself.

“Oh, hello Urbana!” Gomez greeted, “Can you help me move him.”

Gomez was referring to the large potted plant with the bulbus head and thick vines that looked like a type of carnivorous plant. Urbana sat down her stack of cards on the gazebo railings and helped Gomez lift it up and put it where he wanted it.

“Yo, watch the merchandise, doll face,” the plant said.

Urbana let go of the pot, terrified, and shouted, “The Fuck!”

“Woah, careful now,” Gomez said.

“Yah, what mustache here said,” the plant continued, “I’m one of a kind, don’t’ch’ya know.”

“Is this from Mrs. Addam’s green house or…” Urbana couldn’t finish as she was staring at the plant’s sharp teeth.

“I bought him at Mushnik's Flower Shop here in town,” Gomez said, “And Morticia is going to absolutely love him.”

“To be honest, this plant looks like it enjoys eating humans,” Urbana said.

“I have a name, ya know. It’s Audrey,” he said, “And I’m starving. When are you going to feed me?”

Gomez patted it’s bulbus head and said, “You sure are a gluttonous one. Don’t worry. You’ll dine with my wife and I shortly.”

“Well, anyways,” Urbana said as she picked up her dwindling stack of Valentine cards, “Here’s your Valentine.”

Urbana handed Gomez a card that depicted a drawing of two fencers fighting, but their swords were bent into a heart and the front said, _It was fencing meeting you here_. Then when Gomez opened it, he read, _My heart is never en garde with you_.

“Oh, Urbana,” Gomez said, then he embraced her in a bear hug, “This. Is. So. Nice. I love it.”

Squashed, Urbana said, “I’m glad you like it.”

Gomez let go then said, “I was going to wait until dinner tonight, but I got you a gift from the antique store next to the flower shop. Mr. Wing was very generous.” He then went behind the gazebo and pulled out a small bird cage that was covered with a dingy yellow blanket, “Open it in your room. Okay.”

“Alright,” Urbana said as she took the bird cage.

“And here are the instructions,” Gomez said as he handed her a folded piece of paper.

“Jeez, what did you get me?” Urbana asked.

“It’s a surprise,” Gomez said, “Also, it’s light sensitive so close your window blinds.”

“Welp, good luck with the plant and thanks for the present,” Urbana said as she walked away.

“My name’s Audrey,” the plant shouted after her.

Urbana ran to the indoor green house and finally found Morticia. She had cleared out an area for a little dinner party for two. There were cut out decorations of Golden Eagles, Jaguars, Xoloitzcuintli, and Green Turtles and they looked like they were fencing each other and there were candles and little miniature skulls decorating the table.

“Oh, hello Dear,” Morticia greeted.

“Mariachi band. In living room. Are here,” Urbana wheezed.

“Oh, it’s that time already,” Morticia said as she rushed out of the green house and Urbana followed close behind, “I was so wrapped up in making my surprise I didn’t realize how much time had passed. Thank you for your help.”

“No problem,” Urbana said as she was trying to catch her breath, “But why a Mariachi band.”

“Well, where Gomez use to live there were Mariachi bands everywhere and it’s his favorite kind of music,” Morticia answered, “I just thought it would be nice to remind him of home.”

“Awe, that’s so sweet,” Urbana said.

Morticia introduced herself to the Mariachi band and started to lead them back to the green house but before that Urbana handed Morticia her Valentine Card.

“Oh, you shouldn’t have,” Morticia said as she looked over the drawn picture of violets growing around a skull and reading,_ Violets are blue, Skulls are white_. Then she opened the card and read, _Being with you is everyone’s delight_.

“Thank you for the card,” Morticia said, “It’s beautiful.”

“You’re welcome,” Urbana said, “Now I only have Fester and the kids to give my cards to and I’ll mail Grandma’s and Dad’s to them tomorrow.”

“Good luck, Dear,” Morticia said as they parted ways.

“You too, Ma’am,” Urbana said.

Urbana went to her room first and sat the music sheets on her bed and sat the bird cage on the floor. The sun was streaming in through her window and was a couple of hours from setting. She then went and closed her curtains so the sun couldn’t peak in. Urbana then started to hear a kind of purring coming from the bird cage. She shuffled through her cards to get out the instruction paper to open and read. It said, _You now own a mogwai. Here is a list of rules that you must follow to care for it properly. 1.) Do not expose it to sunlight or it will die. 2.) Do not let it come into contact with water. 3.) Never feed it after Midnight._

“Well, that’s extremely vague. Does it mean exactly after Midnight? Is there a time limit to when I can feed it after Midnight? Does it not need water? What the fuck is this thing?” Urbana said aloud as the purring started to chirp in response to her talking.

Urbana lifted the yellow blanket from the cage and came face to face with a calico teddy bear looking furby-like creature. It reminded her of a furry baby yoda.

“I guess you’re cute,” Urbana told it.

It clapped its little paws and purred in a way that sounding like it was going up a xylophone.

Urbana looked at the little plaque at the bottom of the bird cage and read, _Gizmo_.

“Well Gizmo, welcome to your new home, I guess,” Urbana told it, “I should probably get you something to eat then since I don’t know when you last ate… What do mogwai’s eat anyways?”

Urbana looked over the instruction paper again, but it only had the three rules on it.

“I guess, I’ll just feed you what I eat then,” Urbana told it.

It only chirped in response.

Urbana picked up the cage and placed Gizmo on her fireplace mantle, then she covered the mogwai with the blanket again, picked up the rest of her Valentine cards and left for the kitchen. Fester was in the kitchen eating a giant slice of chocolate cake and Lurch was helping setting up the table.

“Aren’t you going to ruin your appetite for dinner which is going to start soon,” Urbana told Fester.

“I’m an adult so I can do what I want,” Fester said through a mouth full of cake, “Bad choices or no.”

Grandmama came over and handed Urbana some silverware, “Help Lurch set up the table, Dear.”

And she did.

After that Urbana asked, “I haven’t seen Pugsley and Wednesday since this afternoon. Have you guys seen them?”

Washing his plate, Fester said, “I’ve seen Wednesday running back and forth from the house to the back woods dragging stuff to her hide out.”

“And I’ve been keeping Pugsley busy with chores since Gomez and Morticia are trying to surprise each other and that boy just loves to tell people about their surprises,” Grandmama stated.

Speaking of the devil, Pugsley walked in holding a bucket and a toilet brush, “Okay Grandmama, I’ve cleaned all of the toilets in the house.”

“Thank you, Dear,” Grandmama told him, “Now go clean up. We’re about to have dinner.

“Oh, here you guys go,” Urbana said as she handed Fester and Pugsley their Valentine cards.

Fester’s card had a depiction of him as a mad scientist with the words, _Are you Copper and Tellurium?_, on the front. Then when he opened it read, _Cause you are Cute_. Pugsley’s card had the picture of her ghost man in his zebra costume with his heart in his hands and it read, _Bugwine hearts you a lot_, on the front and inside it read, _Like a lot, a lot_. There was another picture of her character pulling out more hearts from his chest.

While Pugsley was laughing at the pictures Fester said, “Thank you. I appreciate the pun.”

“I thought you would,” Urbana said.

Pugsley hugged Urbana and said, “I love it and your comic.”

Urbana patted his head and said, “Thank you and you’re welcome.”

Pugsley then ran off to wash up and Urbana turned to Grandmama and asked, “Do you have a tiny plate. I got a new pet today.”

“Sure, Dear,” Grandmama said as she found a tea saucer.

Urbana filled up the tea saucer with a little bit of roast beef, tofu, carrots, mash potatoes, and a strawberry. Then she went upstairs and gave the plate to Gizmo who dug in like he was starving.

When she went back downstairs, she found Wednesday who was looking for her. Wednesday ran up to her and grabbed her arm.

“Follow me,” Wednesday told her.

Then Wednesday dragged Urbana into the back woods as the sun was starting to just set, until they came to a clearing with a tree house and a bunch of mirrors everywhere with a large prism in the center of the field of mirrors.

“Now wait,” Wednesday told her.

Urbana waited and watched as the sun’s dying light filled the mirrors and ricocheted into the prism and a rainbow exited and danced on the tree’s branches. It was beautiful and it lasted only for a moment or two.

“Thank you for showing me that, Wednesday,” Urbana said, “That was amazing.”

Wednesday kicked at the dirt then mumbled, “Um, I have a crush on you… Would you like to date me?”

Urbana was quiet for a moment as she tried to make sure she said this right. She placed a hand on Wednesday’s shoulder and said, “I’m sorry I can’t reciprocate your feelings, Wednesday.”

Wednesday’s usual stoic face gave way to a trembling lip and misty eyes.

“I mean, I am a little old for you. You, being 14 and me, being 19,” Urbana said, “I think you should find someone who’s closer to your age.”

Wednesday crossed her arms and said, “But all the kids at school are immature jerks. I don’t relate to them at all and they aren’t interesting to talk with.”

“Then let me tell you something my dad told me when I was your age,” Urbana said, “The fact that you feel more mature than your peers is valid, but that doesn’t mean you should date someone older than you. What you should do is find a like-minded peer.”

“What if I never find anyone,” Wednesday said.

“Well, I’m still willing to have our talks if you are,” Urbana offered, “Until you can find someone you click with, that’s your own age.”

A small smile graced Wednesday’s face, “I would like that.”

Urbana then handed Wednesday her Valentine card and said, “Happy Valentine’s day.”

The drawing on the front of the card was a magnifying glass looking at a question mark and it read, _A mystery’s a foot_. Then Wednesday opened it and read, _The mystery being how can you be so cute?_

“Thank you,” Wednesday said.

The two of them walked back to the mansion and Urbana asked her, “So what did your dad get you for Valentine’s day.”

“An 1800’s investigation tool kit, and Mom got me chocolate,” Wednesday said.

“Cool,” Urbana said, “I got a new pet.”

“Cool,” Wednesday said.


	8. Death in the Family

Urbana Des Moines sat on the kitchen floor at five in the morning as she watched her cup of tea spin in the microwave. Gizmo was sitting in her lap, playing with Urbana’s fingers. Her only light being the green glowing digital clock on the oven and the light inside the microwave. Her dad called her thirty minutes ago. The first time he’s ever called her since she moved away. Grandma died. Grandma died in her sleep. That’s all he had to say. Then he hung up.

The beeping of the microwave kicked Urbana out of her trance. Holding Gizmo under her arm, she got her tea then sat back down on the cold tile floor of the kitchen and just let the hot steam caress her face and let the mug burn her hands a little. Urbana was hoping that her grandma would keep kicking until she graduated from college. Sure, she can still invite both her grandmother and mother to her college graduation since she’s learned how to properly summon ghosts and stuff, but it’s not the same.

The kitchen lights blinded Gizmo and Urbana, but they didn’t move from where they were sitting.

“Urbana,” Grandmama asked, “It’s 5:30am. What are you doing up so early? Your early classes are on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday’s, right?”

Urbana sneezed took a sip of her tea then said, “Yep. I just got a call from my Dad. Grandma died sometime during the night.”

Grandmama came over to Urbana and patted her head, “I’m sorry to hear that, Dear.”

“Thanks,” Urbana said.

“Do you want me to make you a special breakfast today,” Grandmama asked.

“I don’t really feel like eating,” Urbana said.

Gizmo patted his stomach, showing that he was hungry and Grandmama cut a bagel in half for him to eat.

“What kind of tea you got there,” she asked.

“Rosemary,” Urbana said.

With a gentle smile Grandmama worked around Urbana and made a fresh batch of Rosemary tea for her, then topped her off when she was running low.

“Do you know when the funeral will be,” Grandmama asked.

Urbana shook her head.

“Well, be sure to tell us when it is, okay? I know we’ll all want to go with you,” Grandmama said.

“Okay,” Urbana said.

Grandmama worked around Urbana as she continued to sip tea on the kitchen floor with Gizmo nibbling on the bagel. As Lurch walked in to help set the table Urbana gestured for another refill.

As Grandmama was refilling her cup Urbana said, “You know, even though Grandma disapproved of my career choice, she was the one who gave me my car.”

“That’s nice,” Grandmama said.

“Yah, Dad got really mad about it too,” Urbana said, “He was all like, why are you helping her make bad life decisions, but I remember Grandma being all like, child I do what I want.”

Grandmama laughed which made Urbana smile a little. Urbana and Gizmo migrated to the kitchen table and waited for the rest of the family to come down for breakfast. Once they were all present Urbana told them the news. They had their opinions and remarks.

“I remember what your Dad and Grandma were like from the recital,” Fester said, “I think you lost your buffer against your Dad.”

Grandmama wacked him upside the head with a wooden spoon, “Fester!”

“Ow!” He cried.

“I’m sorry to hear you’re Grandma died,” Morticia said turning to Urbana to hold her hand, “I know more than anyone the polarizing feeling you have when you are still able to “see” a loved one despite them being physically gone. Don’t be afraid to come to me if you need someone to talk to about this.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Addams,” Urbana said as Morticia let go of her hand.

“What a way to start the month of March,” Gomez stated, “Is your grandmother the type who would want you to celebrate at her funeral. I know my grandmother wanted us to party at her funeral.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Urbana said, “Dad will be in charge of organizing the funeral and he’ll want it to be a quiet funeral.”

“That doesn’t seem fair,” Pugsley said through a mouth full of pancakes, and Lurch nodded in agreement, “What would your grandma want?”

“I don’t know,” Urbana said, “What I remember most from my grandma is how she would say her body hurts, or how sleepless she was, or how she needs to fire an employee because they keep messing up on haircuts.”

“Well, you can always ask,” Wednesday said.

“Yah, but Dad won’t believe me when I tell him,” Urbana explained, “It’ll be like that time when our old house got haunted and when Mom died. He’ll just get mad.”

They sat in uncomfortable silence while Urbana scratched behind Gizmo’s ears as he sat looking stuffed.

“Will he really,” Pugsley asked.

“That’s my experience,” Urbana said.

# # #

Two weeks later, Urbana, her mother’s spirit, and the Addams family parked in the parking lot of the old West Baptist Church that Urbana use to sing choir in before she moved away.

“It looks exactly as I remember it,” Rosie said as they all got out of their cars.

“They renovated it a couple of years ago,” Urbana informed her mother.

“Well, that’s nice,” Fester stated.

“Will you know many people here,” Grandmama asked Urbana.

They all started walking to the Church.

“It depends on if they’re all from Newberry,” Urbana stated.

A few more cars drove up and parked in front of the church and when they got out, they shouted at Urbana.

“How’s my favorite niece,” Jane said.

“Hi, Aunt Jane,” Urbana said.

Rosie made an _I’m annoyed _clicking sound with her tongue while Urbana and Jane hugged.

“Look at you! You’re so big,” Jane said, “You look so much like your father.”

“I’m sure,” Urbana said, “But what are you doing here? This is Mom’s Mom.”

“Listen, just because your mother and I weren’t on great terms, doesn’t mean I’m not going to give your grandma my best wishes,” Jane said.

“I remember you making fun of my clothes when my body was still in the casket,” Rosie fumed.

“Anyways,” Urbana said as they parted for more people to walk through the entrance, “This is the family I’ve been living with since I moved out.”

Urbana then introduced the Addams family to her father’s big sister.

“Ah, well, nice to meet you,” then she slinked up to Lurch and said, “But it’s especially nice to meet you handsome.”

Lurch smiled but Urbana gagged and said, “Aunt Jane! You know I don’t like seeing you do that in front of me!”

Jane laughed then said, “But you’re so cute when you get embarrassed. That attitude will change though, when you get yourself a man.”

Defiantly, Urbana said, “How about you get yourself a man first instead of worrying about my prospects.”

Rosie giggled and said, “Ooooh! Snaaaaaap!”

Jane smirked and said, “Looks like school’s teaching you to have a smart mouth too.” Then she hooked her arms around one of Lurch’s and said to him, “Why don’t we go inside and talk. I would love to know more about you.”

When the two of them disappeared inside Urbana sighed, “Honestly.”

Gomez slapped Urbana on the back, saying, “It’s so nice to see this other side of you.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Urbana said as she followed her mother’s spirit into the church.

The church was crowded with people, most of them she recognized, like the customers her grandmother cared for, the workers that worked for her grandmother, her grandmother’s church going friends and golf friends and gossip friends, the neighbors that live around her grandmother’s and father’s house, the kids she read to at the library, their parents, and the library staff, and some of Urbana’s old high school and grade school teachers were there because her grandmother was also a substitute teacher and helped out the school a lot with fundraisers. Urbana’s grandmother got around.

Urbana scanned the crowd, but Rosie found her first.

“There she is Sweetie,” Rosie said as she motioned for her daughter to follow her, “She’s by the organ piano.”

Looking at her grandmother was like looking at a completely new person for Urbana. When her mother died, there wasn’t a physical disconnect between what her mother’s dead body looked like and what the spirit of her mother looked like. Urbana has never seen her Grandmother stand fully straight before, her shoulders back and she stood proudly. She had fewer wrinkles and her hair wasn’t gray anymore, being pure black again. What was the same though was her kind smile, the twinkle of mischief in her eyes and how her hands still looked so strong.

Rosie and Grandma Harp hugged, tears streaming down both their faces.

“I’m so happy so see you, Mom,” Rosie said, then she sniffed and added, “I’m not happy that your dead but it’s so nice to talk to you like this.”

“It’s nice to talk to you too, Honey,” Grandma Harp said then she looked over at Urbana and said, “I’m glad that your daughter managed to make it to the funeral. Do you think she’ll sing with the choir?”

“I will if you want me to, Grandma,” Urbana said.

Grandma Harp did a double take and said, “You _can_ see us!”

“I wasn’t lying to you when Mom died,” Urbana stated.

Grandma Harp went over to give Urbana an, _I’m sorry_ hug but Urbana stepped back, and Rosie placed a hand on Grandma Harp’s shoulder.

Rosie explained, “You’ll drain her energy if you touch her, Mom. It can also be very addictive so please, don’t.”

“That probably explains why she looks like she’s glowing,” Grandma Harp stated to her daughter then she turned back to her granddaughter and said, “I’m so sorry I didn’t believe you. I feel even worst for not believing your Grandfather too.”

“Wait, Grandpa could see ghosts,” Urbana said.

“Urbana,” Bob said.

She flinched and turned around to her approaching father.

“What are you doing,” Bob said as he stood before her.

Urbana was about to answer but her father cut her off, “You know what. Never mind. Just please be normal. I don’t want to hear our neighbors or my side of the family telling me that you’re talking to yourself as if someone is there. Don’t you dare mention anything ghost related. You got that?”

“Okay,” Urbana said as her father dragged her to a pew to sit beside him. Her mother and grandmother following close behind them.

While the preacher spoke about how everyone was going to miss her Grandma, Urbana listened to her mother and grandmother speaking to each other.

“Has Bob gotten more aggressive about the whole ghost thing,” Rosie asked, “I remember when she was little and we still lived at our old house she would say she made a new ghost friend and I remember how upset it made him.”

“After you died it got worse,” Grandma Harp said, “Whenever she tried to tell Bob about you still being around, Bob wouldn’t listen. Probably because he thought she was just imagining you like her friends at the old house. Honestly, I thought the same at the time.”

Rosie sighed then said, “I hope he doesn’t have to die like we did to understand our daughter. You know she’s been avoiding talking to me about you two. Can I ask you why?”

“Bob and I wanted Urbana to be a hair stylist like us. I mean it makes sense. She’d have a home, a reliable income, people around her who know her. She would be safe and happy here and she could do her comics on the side instead of having to rely on it for income,” Grandma Harp said, “Bob got mad at her “stupidity” and I didn’t defend her cause I thought the same.”

“Well, according to her, her comic that she’s creating is picking up steam and more people keep subscribing to her and supporting her on Patreon,” Rosie said.

“What’s Patreon,” Grandma Harp asked.

“They’re basically paying her to keep writing her comics,” Rosie explained then added, “But even if she didn’t do well with her comic, she’s still accomplished so much. She’s learned how to Fence, she’s got a two year Choir Grant to pay off her college and she’s saving up for the rest of her college out of pocket and getting scholarships, she’s learned how to do her taxes, learning to cook, taking care of herself. I’m so proud of her.”

“Huh… I never knew,” Grandma Harp said, “Last time I saw her was when I was alive at the Christmas Recital… I think the family she’s living with is more supportive of her than we ever have been.”

Urbana stopped paying attention to their conversation when the Priest asked the crowd if any of them would like to say something.

Urbana stood up.

“What are you doing,” Bob harshly whispered at her.

“Can I sing for my Grandma,” Urbana asked.

The Priest waved her over.

“Lurch, I’m going to need your help,” Urbana said.

Lurch stood up and walked away from Jane and towards the organ piano.

“Can we join too,” Pugsley asked.

“Yah, of course,” Urbana said.

Pugsley and Wednesday ran up to Urbana as she stood on the raised platform, in front of the Church Choir. Lurch started playing the melody of the song _After the Ball_. Wednesday and Pugsley, la-la-ed to the melody out loud then Urbana started to sing the lyrics.

_A little maiden climbed an old man’s knee_

_Begged for a story “Do uncle please,_

_ Why are you single, why live alone?_

_ Have you no babies, have you no home?”_

Urbana heard her grandma laugh with the crowd. As she continued to sing, Pugsley and Wednesday would jump in on single words that they remember from the song and the Choir even started to join her. Urbana looked to her father. He looked neutral. The look on her grandmother’s face though was pure delight.

When Urbana finished singing, she felt extremely tired. Just being around so many people has started to make her feel drained. She sat back down next to her father and blurrily listened to everyone talk about all the nice things her grandmother has done for the community of Newberry, leaning heavily on the pew arm rest. When everyone was done talking the Priest announced that it was time to brake for the reception for an hour before heading for the gravesite. Urbana people watched from a dark corner of the kitchen/dining room of the church with a fizzy punch in hand. He father was talking with his neighbors and customers. Wednesday and Pugsley were playing and entertaining the younger children that were there. Lurch was listening to her Aunt talk about her job as a clothes designer. Morticia, Gomez, and Grandmama were just chatting with anyone that wanted to talk with them. Urbana listlessly listened to her mother and grandmother talk with each other while sipping on her punch.

“I can’t wait to show you my new house that I managed to buy in the Ghost Zone,” Rosie said, “It’s a little run down but it’s cozy and I even have room for you and for Dad when we find him.”

“That’s nice, Honey,” Grandma Harp said, “But my Guidebook called the afterlife the Neitherworld.”

“Technically you can call it anything,” Rosie said, “Neitherworld, Ghost Zone, Heaven, Hell. It doesn’t matter. Ghost Zone is a relatively new way of calling the Neitherworld by the newly deceased that are rather young.”

“So, what’s it like there?” Grandma Harp asked.

“It’s kind of like living. You can get a job, you can eat food and drink there, you can do a lot of things. The differences are extreme though, the sky seems to transition between a yellow sky to black emptiness, and the horizon is fuzzy like it’s limited to what you want to see. I’ve seen dragons, and giant snakes, and ghosts so filled with negative energy that they’re able to hurt people if they ever get out. I’ve seen so much that doesn’t make since, that it’s easier to not think about them at all.”

Grandma Harp was silent for a minute then asked, “What job did you get? Are you working as a musician again?”

Smiling, Rosie said, “Oh, no. Where I’m living not a lot of people want to listen to me play my saxophone. I’m a security guard for a prison run by this guy named Walker. He’s a real hard ass who abuses his power as warden. I’ve been trying to make life a little easier for the prisoners but it’s an uphill battle.”

Urbana got distracted by someone tapping on her knee. She saw that it was a little girl that looked about ten years old. She was wearing the blue choir robes of the church, so Urbana assumed that she joined the choir after she left for college.

“Um, excuse me, Ma’am,” she asked.

Urbana leaned forward then said, “Yes, young lady?”

“I’ve heard the older kids say that you can see ghosts,” she said, “Is that true?”

Urbana heard her mother and grandmother get quiet as they listened to her conversation.

“That’s quite the personal question there. I don’t even know your name,” Urbana said.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” the little girl said, “I’m Sky. It’s nice to meet you.”

“I’m Urbana and it’s nice to meet you too,” Urbana replied.

“Oh, hi baby,” Grandma Harp said, “You finally joined the choir,” Then she turned to Rosie saying, “I’m so proud of her. You know she’s also a Girl’s Scout.”

“So, _can_ you see ghosts,” Sky asked again.

Urbana scratched her chin as she eyed the little girl, “Maybe I can, maybe I can’t. Why do you want to know?”

“Well. I’m sad that Mrs. Harp is gone,” Sky said, “She use to read to me at the library and she’s like a grandma to me. I want to tell her how much I’m going to miss her.”

Grandma Harp and Rosie awed at her comment.

“Didn’t you do that before the reception and if you have more to say we’ll be going to the gravesite here soon too,” Urbana stated.

“It’s not the same though,” Sky said, “Church says that when we die, our spirits go to Heaven or Hell. If you can talk to ghosts that means you can talk to Mrs. Harp in Heaven.”

“Will you even believe me if I tell you the truth,” Urbana asked her.

“I promise to believe you. Whatever you answer will be,” Sky said.

Urbana sighed. Looked around at the crowd that was still distracted with itself then to her grandmother who was pleading with her eyes at her.

Under her breath, Urbana said, “I can see ghosts. My grandma isn’t in Heaven yet cause she wanted to see her own funeral.”

Sky got visibly excited.

“Now calm down. This is a secret. Okay,” Urbana whispered.

Sky nodded her head and did the gesture of zipping her lips.

“You can go ahead and say what you want. Grandma is standing right beside me,” Urbana said as she gestured to her right.

Sky turned to what looked like to her an empty space, beside Urbana then said, “I’m going to miss you Mrs. Harp. You always made reading so much fun.”

“Awe. I’m glad you liked my readings, baby. Last time we talked you said you were going to read _The Magic Treehouse: Day of the Dragon King_. Have you read it? did you like it?” Grandma Harp asked.

Urbana relied her grandmother’s comment and questions. Sky looked at her with surprise and even more excitement. To Urbana, the little girl looked like she’s just survived a leap of faith and it payed off.

“I have read the _Day of the Dragon King_. It was so fun,” Sky said to the perceived empty space.

“I’m so glad that you had fun,” Grandma Harp said then asked, “Did you get that Animal Habitats Badge that you wanted?”

Urbana repeated her Grandmother, verbatim.

Sky was jumping in place as she said, “I did. It was so cool. Did you know that fish, like catfish, can make nests like birds can? Well, not exactly like birds, but I didn’t know fish could have nests at all. I wish I had my sash to show my badge to you.”

A man, who looked about Urbana’s age and she recognized from seeing him walking through the halls of her old High School, speed walked up to them and grabbed Sky.

“What are you doing with her? You’re suppose to stay away from her,” he hissed.

Sky was fighting against him saying, “Tyler, leave me alone. I was talking to—”

Urbana then put a finger over her lips, showing Sky to be quiet about who she was talking to.

Sky gave Urbana a pouty face but said, “I was talking to her about the books Mrs. Harp use to read me. What’s wrong with that?”

“Because she’s weird,” Tyler said, “She might put a curse on you or something. Now stop fighting me. We’re going to the gravesite.”

Sky sighed heavily and finally relented to her, Urbana assumed, brother’s demands. Sky waved goodbye as she was half dragged away, and Urbana waved goodbye back.

The rest of the day went smoothly. Urbana noticed that Sky kept trying to go talk to her but her assumed big brother kept her from leaving his side. Once Grandma Harp’s body was lowered into the grave people started to head back home or they formed little groups to keep talking in. Once Rosie and Grandma Harp said their goodbyes to Urbana, she informed the Addams family that she would like to head home. Before leaving, Urbana said goodbye to her father. Once she was home, fed Gizmo, then went to bed, Urbana slept deeply that night.

* * *

***Authors Note:** This goes out to my grandfather who died on April 4th, 2020. RIP Gramps.


	9. Sick Week

Urbana Des Moines felt like she had to struggle out of bed one early morning on a cold rainy day of April. Even though her room was get-under-the-covers-cold, it felt nice to her. Siting up, Urbana heard Gizmo purring in his cage, ready to have breakfast. Sneezing, then coughing, Urbana went over to the fireplace mantel and let Gizmo out of his cage.

“Morning my little Furby,” Urbana said, sounding like she had wads of paper stuffed up her nose, “Let’s clean up, then we’ll get something to eat.”

After cleaning up they went downstairs, and Gizmo could smell pancakes and roasted nuts and Urbana could feel the kitchen’s heat radiating towards her. When they walked into the kitchen, they walked in seeing that Fester and Gomez were having an arm-wrestling contest again while they were waiting for the food Grandmama was making. The kids and Lurch were cheering on Fester, and Morticia and Thing were cheering on Gomez. Overall, it was a very normal morning. Then Urbana threw up, almost dropping Gizmo in her own bile.

After retching, Urbana said, “I’m so sorry!” Then she started retching again.

Grandmama and Morticia went over to comfort Urbana as she threw up. Morticia took Gizmo out of her hands and handed the little guy over to Gomez. Lurch got up and went to get some cleaning supplies while Fester got the kitchen trash can for Urbana to throw up in.

“Whoa, is that snot you’re throwing up,” Pugsley asked.

Wednesday, sounding exasperated, said, “Pugsley.”

Grandmama put a hand over Urbana’s forehead and said, “Dearie, you’re burning up. I think you’re going to have to miss work today.”

There was a pause in her throwing up into the trash can and Urbana took that moment to say, “I can’t. I can’t miss work.” Then she threw up again.

Eventually, Urbana started doing that thing where your stomach feels like its punching itself when you can’t throw up anymore, but your body is still trying to force you to do it. While Lurch was cleaning up, Grandmama and Morticia lead Urbana back up to her room.

“I’ll be sure to feed, Gizmo,” Gomez called after them.

“Remember not to give him water,” Urbana struggled to say and Grandmama repeated it for Gomez to hear.

After setting Urbana on her bed they left her alone to get some medicine and a glass of water. It took a moment, but Urbana managed to stop doing the stomach reflex thing it was forcing her to do. Setting aside the trash can she found her work clothes and started putting them on when Grandmama walked in.

“You stubborn child! Get your pajamas back on,” Grandmama scolded.

“I have to go to work. I have to have a doctor’s note and I’m too poor to afford to go to the doctors. I have to save money for fixing my car brakes,” Urbana said.

“Don’t worry about that now,” Grandmama said as she set the medicine and water on the bed side table, “Fester is calling Cousin It over. He’ll make sure that you don’t have anything serious.”

“I just said I can’t afford a doctor,” Urbana said as she stubbornly buttoned up her work pants.

“And I’m telling you not to worry about that,” Grandmama said firmly, placing a hand on Urbana’s shoulder, “I promise. It’s not going to be as bad as you’re thinking.”

Urbana was silent for a moment then she said, “Alright. I’ll call my workplace.” Then she started getting back into her pajamas.

Urbana called in sick, but she couldn’t find anyone who would replace her. She’s lost several day-off days because half of her coworkers called in sick and she always said yes to helping them, she just wished they would do the same for her. While she was lying in bed, she was finishing up her homework when the hairy doctor himself walked into her bedroom.

“Hello, Doctor It,” Urbana said, sounding congested.

<“Please, call me Cousin It,”> he said.

Urbana naturally understood his whistles, hums and grunting.

“Don’t you want to be recognized for all of your hard work,” Urbana asked.

Cousin It sat a cloth bag at the foot of her bed, and he said, <“I don’t need outside validation for my personal success. Now let’s take a look at you.”>

Cousin It examined her with his utensils that he brought and eventually he concluded, <“You have the flu. A pretty severe case too. You’ll have to stay in bed for at least a week.”>

“A week!” Urbana exclaimed then fell into a coughing fit.

Packing up his items he said, <“Yes. You could get your coworkers, customers, and classmates sick if you don’t stay away from them. If you don’t stay in bed you might also make your flu last longer.”> Then Cousin It got out a paper pad and a pen, wrote on it, then handed it to Urbana.

“Thank you,” Urbana said as she took the doctor’s note from his hairy grasp.

<“Now, there’s the thing about your pay for this visit,”> Cousin It stated.

Urbana physically braced herself for how much it was going to be. She was silently hoping that she’ll be allowed to pay it off with monthly pays.

<“It’ll be twenty bucks,”> Cousin It concluded.

Urbana unclenched with surprise, “Really? Okay. Uh, can you hand me my purse. It’s on the floor next to the fireplace.”

He handed her, her purse and she gave him the twenty dollars she had. Then Cousin It left her room. Urbana then grabbed her phone to make some more calls.

# # #

Urbana was laying in bed while working on her comic “Careless Whispers” when Grandmama walked in holding a bed tray with tomato soup and a can of 7-Up and she held a book under her armpit.

“I would have come downstairs,” Urbana said as she sat aside her drawings on her bed.

“Nonsense,” Grandmama said as she sat the bed tray over Urbana’s covered lap, “Being so sick as you are, you’re not to leave your room for anything.”

“Yah, I don’t want to get you guys as sick as me,” Urbana said. She took a sip of the 7-Up then asked, “What you got there?”

“The 11th Edition Family album,” Grandmama said as she showed off the cover to Urbana. There were two photos on the front. One photo showed a picture of Frank, Morticia’s Father, and Grandmama in a hospital room. Frank had bright orange hair and an orange handlebar mustache and Grandmama had dark black hair and both of them looked like they were in their late twenties or early thirties. Both of them looked exhausted as Frank was leaning on the side of the hospital bed Grandmama was laying in as she held two babies in her arms.

The other photo looked like a family photo of Morticia and her twin sister as six year olds, standing outside the mansion with Frank and Grandmama standing behind them. Morticia looked like she was trying to be regal and mysterious like how Grandmama looked in the photo but her twin sister was acting goofy like her father was acting in the photo. Both girls had long hair.

“I see the family resemblance,” Urbana said, “Was Morticia’s sister at the Family Reunion?”

Grandmama sat down beside Urbana as she opened the album and said, “Oh, no. Madeline and her family are too busy during the fall to be able to come over for the family reunion, considering both their kids are in college and her and her husband work hard at their home business, Fenton Works.”

“That’s too bad,” Urbana said as she took a sip of the Tomato soup.

“It is,” Grandmama agreed, “Oh! Here’s a picture I took of them when Morticia and Madeline were searching for ghost portals.”

Urbana saw that Madeline, her orange hair cut short, was tinkering with a device that looked like she had made herself and Morticia, her long black hair in braids, had her eyes closed and her arms outstretched, looking like she was trying to use her powers to find those ghost portals. There were already a few sticks in the ground in the background as markers.

“Cute,” she said. Then asked, “When do you get to see your daughter and her family?”

“Oh, every year during the summer,” Grandmama said as she leafed through the album’s pages, “They usually get here by May but if they are delayed the latest they’ve ever been was the middle of June.”

Stopping at a wedding photo, Grandmama said, “This was when Madeline married her husband Jack. Morticia was the bridesmaid and Jack asked Frank to be his best man.”

Urbana saw a boxy looking man, who looked as wide as he was tall, with black hair and wearing an orange jumpsuit kissing adult Madeline, who was wearing a blue jumpsuit. People around them were clapping as they were kissing and Morticia was standing behind Madeline wearing a black ballroom gown and Frank was standing behind Jack, wearing casual pair of dress pants and shirt.

“They look happy,” she said.

“They are and you are going to love their kids,” Grandmama said, “I think Danny, their youngest, is your age. Sometimes he brings his friends over here. I think that would be nice for you.”

“What do you mean?” Urbana asked, feeling like something was being implied to her.

Grandmama shut the photo album and said, “Well, do you have any friends?”

“Wednesday and Pugsley,” she answered.

“Yes, but do you have any friends that are _your_ age,” Grandmama asked.

“No. I’m perfectly fine with being only friends with those two,” Urbana stated.

“Are you happy with it though,” Grandmama said, “I’m not saying that you have to stop being friends with my youngest grandbabies, but maybe befriending people closer to your age would be better for you.”

Urbana scoffed, “I doubt that,” then she said, “but I appreciate the concern.”

Urbana could read Grandmama’s expression but then she said as she got up, “Lurch will come in later to pick up your dishes. Get well soon.”

As she walked away Urbana said, “Thanks.” Then she closed the door behind her.

# # #

Urbana was laying in bed watching Gizmo play MineCreate on her computer when Fester came in holding the morning breakfast tray with oatmeal and green tea on it.

“Morning Fester,” Urbana greeted.

“Hey, you’re sounding better,” Fester stated as he set the bed tray over her lap.

“Yah, first time today I’m able to breathe through my nose,” Urbana said.

Fester looked at Gizmo playing MineCreate and asked, “So, what’s going on here?”

“I taught him how to play on my computer,” Urbana said as she absentmindedly watched Gizmo build a little block house.

Fester sat down beside her and watched Gizmo play with her as she ate.

After finishing her meal Urbana asked, “Fester? I have a personal question I would like to ask of you.”

“Sure. I don’t mind,” Fester said with confidence.

“Why did _you_ have a falling out with your family? I remember Gomez telling me that you just didn’t want to get married or have children, but is that really it?” Urbana asked.

Fester sighed and smiled sadly to himself.

Quickly, Urbana said, “Never mind. You don’t have to answer that.”

“No. It’s fine. You’ve become such a trusted member of this family. I think it’s time I tell you,” Fester said.

There was a moment of silence as Fester prepared himself.

“I’m Transgender,” Fester stated.

“…Okay,” Urbana said.

“Do you… Do you know what Transgender is?” Fester asked.

Urbana nodded her head and said, “Yah. Why?”

“I just thought I’d ask,” Fester said.

They sat in silence for a minute watching Gizmo play MineCreate.

“Was it hard,” Urbana asked.

“It was, but I had Gomez and he always supported me and then he married into this family and they helped me too and eventually our family started calling me by my chosen name and pronouns even if it is begrudgingly. In the end, I’m happy,” Fester said with a small smile.

Urbana returned his smile and said, “I’m glad to hear that.”

Fester then got up and took the bed tray with him, “Get well soon.”

As he walked away Urbana said, “I’m trying.”

Then he closed the door behind him.

# # #

Urbana was laying in her bed doing more homework when Pugsley and Wednesday burst through her bedroom door, surprising her so much that Urbana had a coughing fit.

“Urbana, we have news,” Wednesday said.

“We thought we’d try looking into your future,” Pugsley said.

Through her coughing Urbana said, “Hold on – Hold on, I’m. I’m sorry. What?”

Pugsley and Wednesday crawled into bed with her and sat on either side of her and Wednesday plopped a large black book onto Urbana’s lap. Urbana didn’t know why but the feeling the book gave her was chilling and made her want to burn the book.

“This is Cousin Sofia’s Fortune Telling Book,” Wednesday informed her as she patted the black book.

“You mean the old fashioned, rich looking, swamp monster lady,” Urbana said trying to remember her from all the other séances she’s been to.

Pugsley nodded and said, “Yep, that sounds like her portrait painting.”

“Should you even have something like this,” Urbana said as she picked it up and felt a shiver go down her spine, “This seems unnecessary and dangerous and I doubt I’d be in this thing.”

“Well, what I know about this book is that anyone who lives in this house can have their future read by it,” Pugsley stated.

“And why were you two trying to look into my future,” Urbana said scrutinizing them and setting the book back down onto her lap.

“I was being a little… silly,” Wednesday mumbled in her usual monotone voice, but Urbana could sense her embarrassment.

“She was worried you were going to die,” Pugsley blurted out.

“Shut up!” Wednesday said.

“Guys,” Urbana said with a sigh.

“Anyways, I wanted to know how long you would be living with us because I didn’t want to lose my new big sister,” Pugsley said as he leaned his head on Urbana’s shoulder.

“Awe, I feel so loved guys,” Urbana said as she put an arm around each of them and hugged them.

“So, aren’t you going to look at your future,” Pugsley asked, his voice muffled by the hug.

“I assumed you two would just tell me,” Urbana said as she stopped hugging them.

“We physically can’t tell you, the book won’t let us,” Wednesday said.

“I see. I guess that’s why Pugsley looks like he’s going to explode,” Urbana said teasingly.

“Oh, come on, don’t you want to know what’s going to happen,” Pugsley said, sounding exasperated.

Urbana handed the book back to Wednesday and said, “No. I don’t think it’s wise to look into the future like this.”

Pugsley groaned as they hopped off of her bed and started walking out of her room.

“So you know, we’ll be here for you for when it happens,” Wednesday said trying to sound comforting but it just sounded ominous to Urbana.

“Thanks, Wednesday. If you guys need help with your homework, I’m free to do so,” Urbana said before they closed the door, to her bedroom, behind them.

# # #

Urbana was laying in her bed drinking mint tea while watching Lurch dust off the shelves in her room when Morticia and Gomez popped in to visit again.

Gomez threw her car keys at her and he said, “Here you go. How are you feeling?”

Urbana caught the keys with one hand and sat them on her nightstand then she said, “I’m feeling better. I’ll be heading into work tomorrow. I hope my car didn’t give you much trouble. What did you need it for?”

“Your poor car is so clang-y and you were right, you did need new breaks,” Morticia stated.

“So we got it all fixed up for you and it’s running smooth like it’s brand new,” Gomez informed her.

“What!” Urbana cried while accidentally spilling some of her tea on herself.

“Oh dear,” Morticia said.

“This wasn’t the reaction we were hoping for,” Gomez said to his wife.

Urbana sat the teacup on the nightstand, hopped out of her bed and went up to the couple saying, “How much did it cost?!”

“Urbana, Dear, you don’t need to worry about that,” Morticia said.

“To be honest, we wish you told us sooner,” Gomez said firmly.

“You’re my landlords! I can’t just take money from you like this,” Urbana said.

Confusion crossed the couple’s faces as Gomez said, “But you didn’t take money from us.”

“You had my car fixed,” Urbana said, “I have to pay you back.”

“Why would we have you pay us back,” Morticia said.

Growling Urbana turned to Lurch, who had finished replacing her messy sheets with new clean ones, and said to him, “Lurch help me out here.”

Instead of answering, Lurch picked up the dirty laundry and quickly walked out of her bedroom.

Urbana groaned.

“Urbana,” Morticia asked, “Did we overstep our boundaries?”

Huffing through her nose she said, “I think, maybe, you did.”

“We were just trying to help you,” Gomez said.

“I know!” Urbana said, sounding annoyed. Then she went over to her bed and sat down on it and said in a defeated tone, “I know.”

Gomez and Morticia looked at each other then went over to sit on either side of Urbana.

“Look. I really do appreciate it. I appreciate everything here. The food, the place to sleep, the cheap rent, being trusted with family secrets. It’s great,” Urbana said, “But I’m not a part of the family. What do you get out of being _this_ nice to me?”

“The cold prickly feeling of being nice to someone,” Morticia said.

“Being happy to see someone else happy,” Gomez added.

“Ha,” Urbana laughed half-heartedly.

“You really don’t have to worry about the money,” Gomez said, “As you can probably tell, we’re rich. So much so that we’re the one percent of the one percent.”

“Fuck, that’s a lot. What do you do with all that money?” Urbana asked.

Morticia was about to answer but then Urbana interrupted her and said, “Never mind. That was rude of me to ask.”

Morticia draped a long pale arm across Urbana’s shoulders and said, “If it bothers you that much we’ll tell you how much it costs and you can pay it off by adding it to your rent money.”

“But I say, before we do that, you should first drive your car around and think of it as a gift from us,” Gomez interjected.

“A gift for what,” Urbana asked.

“I don’t follow,” Gomez said.

“Is it a Christmas gift? An Easter gift? An early Birthday gift,” Urbana asked, “What kind of gift are we talking about here?”

“Birthday,” Morticia said.

“Okay. I gotch’ya. Thank you for the early Birthday present,” Urbana said.

“You are welcome,” Morticia said.

Both of them gave her comforting smiles and in Urbana’s opinion she felt like she was being spoiled or undermined in some way, but she didn’t say anything. After they patted her head, they left her alone in her room so she could change out of her soiled pajamas.

The next day she drove to work, and it was the smoothest ride she’s ever had since Grandma Harp gave it to her. It was nice. Urbana was now even more determined to pay them back despite how much it cost.


	10. Summer Time with the Fentons

Urbana Des Moines was looking out of her bedroom window, looking at the trees at the edge of the lawn. The trees, ever since she’s lived here, they have always been bare, that is until she woke up that May morning and saw big, glossy oak leaves had suddenly materialized on the trees. They were such a dark green color that they almost looked black. It made Urbana feel refreshed and excited about summer again.

In the distance she heard Lurch mowing the lawn and it woke Gizmo up from his sleep.

Urbana closed her curtain and opened his cage, “Hey buddy. Do you want to go outside with me and sit in the gazebo? It’s such a nice day out and it’s my first day of no school. What do you say?”

Gizmo’s little furry body emoted worry.

“Oh, if you’re worried about the sun. I got that covered,” Urbana said as she looked through her grocery bags and then pulled out a parasol then she showed it off to Gizmo saying, “Isn’t it pretty? It’ll protect you from the sun and you can have the wind blow through your fur.”

Gizmo crawled out of his cage and motioned for Urbana to pick him up.

“That’s the spirit,” Urbana said as she went over and picked him up and sat him on her shoulder. As they walked out of her room Urbana said, “You know, maybe I’ll talk up one of the residence in the grave yard, maybe I’ll be able to pick up some new ghost jokes that I haven’t used in my comic yet.”

As they walked down closer to the first floor Urbana could hear a commotion going on at the front door when she was at the top of the stairs to the first floor Urbana could see there were new people in the house and they had luggage with them and she recognized the blue and orange jumpsuit-ed adults that were hugging Mr. and Mrs. Addams and everyone else and the other people had to be their children. Lurch was there too so she definitely misheard that lawn mower sound. Urbana felt her heart splash into her stomach as she instinctively hid. She really didn’t want to deal with people today. Sneaking a peak, she could see that everyone was absorbed with each other and she thought that maybe she’d be able to sneak out through the kitchen. Quietly, Urbana walked down the stairs and casually walked towards the kitchen.

“Urbana, Dear, come say hello to my sister and her family,” Morticia called to her as she was halfway to the kitchen.

Urbana froze, cursed her bad luck, took a quick deep breath, then turned around with a smile, “Okay. Coming.”

“Hi, how are you. I’m Maddie,” the orange haired woman said as she shook Urbana’s hand, “You must be the tenant that Mory has told me about.”

“Yes, I’m Urbana. Nice to meet you Ma’am,” she said.

“Oh, you are so polite,” Maddie said with a laughing snort, “And this little guy is?”

“Gizmo,” Urbana said.

“Oh, how precious,” Maddie said.

The boxy looking man in an orange jump suit flew past them and landed on his head. There was a moment of dazed silence then with a big smile he got up and said, “You won’t take me down that easily Gomez!”

Maddie stopped his charge at Gomez and directed him to Urbana and said, “Jack, meet Urbana. She lives here.”

“Oh that’s fantastic,” Jack said as he gave Urbana a crushing hug and said, “I so glad someone finally answered that ad. Do you enjoy living here?”

Gasping, Urbana said, “Yep.”

Jack released the hug and said, “That’s great! You know we’re professional ghost hunters. If you know anyone with a ghost problem just refer them to us,” Then he pulled out a business card with Fenton Works written in bold letters on it and handed it to Urbana and continued saying, “We’re much cheaper than those other guys who live in New York.”

Kind of lightheaded Urbana said, “I think that’s just because New York is an expensive place to live in.”

Jack was going to say something else but then Fester barked a wrestling challenge at him, and Jack answered his challenge with a playful warrior’s cry.

“The boys always love to have Jack around,” Morticia said, sounding amused.

“Yah, the three musketeers back at it again for the summer,” Maddie said just as amused.

Urbana was going to slink off to the kitchen again but then Pugsley caught her by the wrist and excitedly pulled her towards his sister, his two cousins; an older sister with orange hair and a younger brother with black hair, and two other strangers that look like family friends; a goth girl and a tech-y looking guy.

“Jazz, Danny, Sam, Tucker! This is my friend and sister, Urbana. She’s so cool! She draws amazing art and she’s so smart she has helped me with my homework all the time,” Pugsley said.

“I see you’re finally replacing you sister,” the goth said with a playful smirk.

“I can have two sisters if I want,” Pugsley said with a huff.

The goth looked at Urbana then she spotted Gizmo on her shoulder, “Is that an exotic animal?” She said with distain in her voice.

“I think Gizmo’s too smart to be just an animal,” Urbana said, “But I understand your concern. I’ve been hearing the news of the rise in exotic animals being taken from their habitats, too.”

“Isn’t it awful. I’m Sam by the way,” the goth said.

“I’m Jazz,” the orange haired lady said. She looked like she was two years older than Urbana. Then Jazz pointed to the tech-y looking guy and said, “That’s Tucker,” then she pointed at the black-haired boy and said, “And this is my baby brother, Danny.”

“Jazz, I’m in college now. Do you have to keep calling me your _baby_ brother every time we’re introduced to someone new,” Danny complained.

“It’s just a habit,” Jazz said with a shrug.

“By the way,” Tucker interjected, “If you need any of your basic tech checked over, I’m your man.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Urbana told him.

“Anyways, how are you doing that,” Danny asked as he squinted his eyes at her.

“Doing what,” Urbana asked, confused.

“You’re glowing,” Danny said, “It’s kind of distracting.”

“Dude, is now really a good time to hit on another woman while your girlfriend his right here,” Tucker said.

“Tucker, please. I’m not hitting on her, don’t you guys see it too,” Danny asked.

While he was talking, Urbana noticed that she could see his breath which was weird because the room was at least 80 degrees.

Before anything got weirder Urbana decided to skedaddle but she didn’t want to be rude, so she decided to hand shake them all goodbye. When Urbana grabbed Danny’s hand to shake, she heard what sounded like light being sucked into a tube then everything went black.

# # #

Urbana didn’t know how long she had been out but when she woke up it felt like she was forced to run a triathlon while holding her breath. In the distance she could hear Danny running around and sounding super energized and Maddie and Morticia were arguing with each other.

“Hey, she’s awake,” Urbana heard Jazz yell out.

Suddenly everyone gathered around her and she held on to the couch in a panic.

“Are you okay, Urbana,” Gomez asked.

“Are you in pain,” Wednesday added.

“What are you?” Jack asked.

“Have you always had this power,” Maddie asked.

Urbana slowly sat up as they kept asking questions while she heard Sam scolding Danny in the background.

“Alright already, everyone back up,” Grandmama said holding a cup of tea in her hand, “You’re suffocating her.” Grandmama then handed the cup of tea to Urbana and she could smell that it was peppermint tea and Grandmama said to her, “This will put a little pep in your step.”

Urbana took a moment to breath in the aroma of the peppermint tea and let the warmth of the cup seep through her hands before taking a sip. After taking a few sips of tea she did feel a little better. Jack and Maddie had pulled out some kind of scanning device and they were looking at in intensely. Urbana assumed that they were scanning her.

“What happened,” Urbana asked.

“Well, _someone_ decided to not tell us that our nephew can **_will_** himself to death, on command,” Morticia said.

“And _someone_ decided to not tell us that a human ghost battery existed in this house,” Maddie said.

The twin sisters were glaring at each other so hard that Urbana thought she could see electricity sparking between them.

“Enough!” Grandmama said, “Stop blaming each other already. It was neither one of your decisions to tell the other about your children’s secrets. What’s done is done.”

They stopped glaring at each other but they still looked mad, but Urbana thought they looked more mad at themselves than at each other..

“So, I’m confused. What happened,” Urbana asked again.

“Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!” Danny said, suddenly appearing in front of her face while hanging upside down. Urbana was sure that he had black hair instead of snow white and she was pretty sure his eyes were blue not glowing green.

“Uh, hi,” Urbana said as she looked all the way behind her and saw that Danny was now in a black and silver jumpsuit and was floating above her.

Danny started speaking in a rush while hanging upside down in front of her, saying, “I have never felt more alive! We’ve been waiting for you to wake up for hours. Are you half ghost like me? Were you born with this ability or was there an accident? Do you want to see me duplicate myself?”

Before Urbana could say anything there were already three copies of Danny floating upside down with him, they then ran off to run on the walls and on the roof.

“You’re going to want to slow down even if you feel like you can’t,” Urbana warned him, “Cause you’re going to crash, and you’ll crash hard. I’m surprised the energy high that you’re feeling has lasted so long.”

“I’m never going to crash,” Danny said so loudly that any glass materials in the vicinity shook.

“Damn it, Danny,” Sam said, “I’m not afraid to use the Thermos on you!”

“You’ve got to catch me first,” he said with a maniacal laugh. Then before he could fly off too far the same sound of light being sucked into a tube sounded off and Danny fell to the floor, but Fester managed to catch him. He looked back to normal and his doppelgangers disappeared.

Fester brought Danny over to the couch and Danny was moaning and groaning like he was waking up from a long night of heavy drinking. Urbana continued to sip her tea while everyone watched Danny come to his senses.

“Awe, goddamn! I feel like I’ve been passed out on a bed of rocks,” Danny said as he slowly sat up.

“Do you remember anything from the past three hours,” Jazz asked her brother.

“Not really,” Danny said, “I remember going to different rooms, but I don’t know why I was there. The clearest, earliest memory I have is shaking hands with… What’s your name again?”

After finishing another small sip of tea, Urbana reintroduced herself to him.

“Right, Urbana. I just remember shaking hands with Urbana,” Danny said.

Everyone filled him in on the new information.

“Oh wow. That must be really annoying,” he said to Urbana.

“It is, but life has always been draining on me, not just the dead,” Urbana replied before finishing her cup of tea, “This whole half human half ghost thing is new to me too so we both accidentally dived into the deep end without knowing about each other’s kraken.”

“I can’t help but feel kind of bad for not saying anything about it,” Danny said.

“It’s just a habit to keep something like that a secret at this point, isn’t it,” Urbana said with understanding.

“Yah, exactly,” Danny said sounding excited for a second then he groaned and fell back into the couch.

“Alright, everyone,” Grandmama said, “There’s nothing to see here. Let’s leave them be.” Grandmama started shooing away everyone that was gathered around the two drained college students and once it was only Grandmama in the room she said, “I’ll be back with some more tea. You two can stay there for as long as you need to, okay?”

Danny and Urbana thanked Grandmama before she ducked out.

While they sat there in silence Urbana saw that Gizmo and Thing where trying to crawl up to her lap. Urbana was happy to see Gizmo and was glad that he wasn’t hurt from her fall. She picked them both up, gave Danny Thing, and held Gizmo in her arms.

“So, will we be unable to like, high five in victory or hug in celebration or anything physical at all that normal people would be able to do in friendly situations,” Danny asked while playing with Thing’s fingers.

“Ghosts can’t help but take my energy, even if they weren’t planning to, to begin with, it’s second nature for them to take what energy they can, just so that they can feel alive again,” Urbana stated.

“But I was in my living form,” Danny said.

“So?” Urbana said.

“I guess everything drains you then, huh,” Danny said, “And you can’t do anything about it?”

“Well… I managed to resist being drained once, but it was an accident and I think I would have to be at the same emotional height that I was when the accident happened,” Urbana said, “Also, you’re going to probably experience sever drawbacks once you’re not queasy anymore. Maybe being half human will make it less painful, but we’re in new territory so we’ll just have to wait and see.”

“How many ghosts have gotten addicted to you,” Danny asked, flabbergasted.

Urbana looked down at Gizmo, avoiding looking Danny in the eye when she said, “Enough.”

# # #

A week and a half later and Urbana’s at full strength again, but Danny was still suffering from withdrawals. Granted, he’s been getting better and Tucker and Sam and everyone else have been doing great at keeping him away from her when he feels like he’s going to slip. Urbana couldn’t help but feel bad that _this_ was her first impression that the extended Addams family was going to get of her.

Urbana was helping Grandmama with the dishes in the kitchen while she sang a song called, _Tokyo_ by Lianne La Havas. While she was singing, she heard someone come in. Turning around she saw it was Danny. He looked tired but better at the same time, but he’s been squinting at her more since she’s gotten better.

“Hey, Buddy. Need some juice? Or tea? Or water? Or coffee? Anything?” Urbana offered.

“Coffee sounds nice, actually,” Danny said.

Urbana made a quick batch of coffee in the microwave then handed it to him.

“Thanks,” Danny said as he took it from her.

Urbana then sat across from him at the kitchen table.

“Where are your friends,” Urbana asked.

“There down at the lake,” Danny replied, “I didn’t want to keep them from having fun and I feel like I can trust myself again around you so, I’m here. Testing it out.” Then he took a sip of his coffee.

“Cool… Hey, is it okay if I ask you about how you became, “half-ghost” as you put it,” Urbana asked him.

With a shrug, he took another sip of his coffee then Danny told her about how his parents built a ghost portal but when it wasn’t working the way they wanted it, he decided to see if he could fix it for his parents, but then the portal turned on when he was in the middle of the machine and ghost matter fused with his DNA and the accident gave him ghost powers.

“That sounds very traumatic,” Urbana said.

Danny shrugged his shoulders and said, “It’s not like I died.”

“I mean, don’t you die every time you turn into your alter ego?” Urbana asked.

“What? Nooo. If I really die every time, I turn into Danny Phantom then how am I coming back to life,” Danny said.

“Maybe you’re such a powerful ghost that you are capable of being corporeal for long periods of time and you’re just a dead kid who’s pretending to be alive,” Urbana mused.

“If I’m just a dead kid then why am I growing and changing,” Danny said sounding kind of defensive.

Urbana just shrugged and Danny sipped more of his coffee like he was ticked off.

“Sorry,” Urbana eventually said.

“It’s not your fault that my life is a fucking enigma,” Danny said, then added, “I’d just prefer not to think about it that much.”

“You’re telling me,” Urbana said, “Apparently I inherited my supernatural abilities from my Grandpa Harp, but I never even got to know him. I basically just found out.”

“What kind of supernatural powers did he have,” Danny asked.

“I don’t know and neither does my mother or grandmother. Mom never even knew he had such a power and Grandma Harp said he brought it up to her once but then never again,” Urbana lamented.

“That’s rough. Have you thought about going to the ghost zone?” Danny asked.

“I’m not going to kill myself just to get some answers,” Urbana said, deadpanned.

“That’s not what I mean,” Danny said, “We can physically take you there if you want.”

Urbana shook her head and said, “Still not a good idea. The afterlife might be the literal death of me if I go, if you know, some old powerful ghost doesn’t see me and wants to use me as their personal battery.”

“That’s specific? Why only old ghosts,” Danny asked.

“Well, the recently deceased, like people who died three hundred years ago or sooner than that, don’t really know what I am. Like instinctually, they would try to touch me just because there’s a pull that they feel or they want to touch the light that they see but generally they would think it rude to touch something they “can’t touch” so they sometimes don’t touch me just out of politeness. However, the older ghosts, the ones that died four hundred years ago and older, know very well that I’m a ghost battery and I end up getting hunted by them the most. You know, whenever it happens,” Urbana explained.

Danny and Urbana sat in the kitchen for a while talking about random things that were mostly ghost related but Urbana also learned that Danny’s going to college to become an astronaut and so she told him about her college plans of being a comic book writer. Urbana thought it felt nice relating to someone who understood what it felt like to be constantly affected by the dead.

# # #

Urbana had just come home from a long day at working at the Olive Garden when she got ambushed at the front door by Jack and Maddie. They looked eager to ask her something.

“Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. Fenton,” Urbana said as she closed the front door behind her.

“Good evening, Urbana,” Jack greeted.

“How was your day at work,” Maddie asked.

“It was tiring, but what do you want,” Urbana asked.

“Can we experiment on you, please,” Jack asked.

Urbana recoiled away from them as his words reminded her of some of the nightmares she’s had in the past.

“We’re not planning on forcing you and we won’t hurt you. We’ve actually been waiting for two weeks since the incident with our son happened, to ask this of you,” Maddie explained.

“What exactly are you testing for,” Urbana asked.

“Well, for one, do you have any special abilities of your own besides being a battery?” Maddie said.

“Or, what are the limits to your energizing capabilities,” Jack added.

Urbana supposed that she was curious if she could do anything else but at the same time it didn’t seem all that worth it to her to be experimented on by strangers.

“… I’ll do it but under one condition. You pay me twenty dollars per hour that you experiment on me, okay? No more, no less,” Urbana said to them thinking it might detour them from her and if it didn’t, she’d be getting more money to pay for college.

Maddie and Jack each took one of Urbana’s hands and shook them as they said at the same time, “Deal!”

“When can you start,” Maddie asked.

“Can we do it tomorrow. I don’t have work that day,” Urbana said.

“Alright then, we’ll see you at dinner tonight,” Jack said as they walked away.

The next day Urbana was being led outside by Danny and Sam to the Fenton RV. When Urbana saw it before it looked high tech and ready for war but now, seeing a portable lab being drawn out of the side of it making it look more, high tech than war ready.

“Good morning, kids,” Maddie called out.

Urbana, Danny, and Sam said their hellos.

“Do you need any help,” Sam asked Jack and Maddie.

“No thank you Sam. We’re almost done,” Jack said.

“Oh, good. Then I’ll just stay and watch the disaster happen,” Sam said playfully.

Urbana froze as she felt instantly uneasy by Sam’s words, “What disaster are we talking here? What do you know that I don’t?”

“Woah, calm down. I was just joking,” Sam told her.

“That doesn’t help me,” Urbana said, still feeling a bit panic-y.

The sound of light being sucked into a tube filled the air as Danny turned into his ghost persona.

“What are you doing?” Urbana asked him.

“I’m a part of the experiments too,” Danny said, “I can see and do things that Mom and Dad can’t so I’m here to help with those parts.”

“We’re not going to—”

“No, there won’t be any touching,” Danny said, interrupting Urbana.

“Well, that’s good,” Urbana said while feeling better about being there since Danny was going to be a part of the experiments too.

“Okay kids, we’re all set up,” Maddie called after they finished setting up the last canopy tent.

Urbana went up to them still feeling a bit nervous, but she was getting paid for this, so she swallowed down most of her fears.

While Sam found a comfortable corner to sit in to watch the Fenton family work, Jack came up and asked Urbana, “Is it okay if we cut your hair?”  
“All of it?” Urbana asked as she put a protective hand over her bushy mane.

“No, just a small chunk,” Jack explained, “We want to know if the energy that you possess stays in contact with you when it’s parted from you or if it disappears as soon as it’s not attached to you.”

“Oh, that’s not so bad. Okay,” Urbana said.

They cut off a small piece of her hair and they asked Danny if he could still see the glow on it.

“No, it was gone as soon as you cut it away from her,” Danny replied.

Jack and Maddie wrote that down on some clip boards.

This sort of thing went on all day as they tested various things like if she was able to recharge a previously ghost drained item, which she could, and if she was able to touch a ghost even if they had made themselves intangible or an item intangible, which she could. The only thing that they really couldn’t test is if she could resist being possessed, which was out of the question since that would trigger the problem that happened two weeks ago. By the time they were done with that day’s testing it was 5pm and Urbana had earned 200 dollars.

Jack handed Urbana the last twenty then said, “There you go. 200 dollars for ten hours of work. When’s your next day off?”

Urbana shrugged then said, “I don’t know, the next two weeks schedule hasn’t been made yet.”

“Well, we have more tests that we would like to do when you’re free. You’ve helped us a lot and we might be able to make some new ghost inventions because of you. Thank you,” Maddie said.

“You’re welcome and I will,” Urbana said as she pocketed the money, “Do you guys need help cleaning up?”

“No, we got this. You three go have fun while the sun is still out,” Jack said.

Danny turned back into his living self and the three of them walked back into the mansion.

“So, do you want to hang out with me and watch Kill la Kill,” Urbana asked Danny before they entered the mansion.

“Sorry, I promised Sam I would walk around the lake with her after my parents were done needing our help,” Danny said.

“Awe, that’s adorable,” Urbana said.

“After that we plan on playing Monster Hunters in the living room with Tucker and Jazz,” Sam said, “Do you want to join us then?”

“Oh, no thank you. I don’t want to intrude,” Urbana said quickly then said, “You two have fun on your cute date.”

“Okay,” Sam said, sounding unsure, “We’ll see you around.”

Danny and Sam held hands and walked off towards the lake in the woods and Urbana went inside to be alone in her room.


	11. Making New Friends

Having the Fenton family living in the Addams family home has been something that Urbana Des Moines has managed to get use to except for one minor annoyance. The fact that after they’ve been living there for two weeks, aggressive ghosts have been showing up and wrecking the place every other week.

First it was the Box Ghost who showed up. He ruined Urbana’s art supply organization by stealing her boxes that she’s been storing her art stuff in and using the boxes to turn himself into a kind of boxy transformer or gundam suit.

Then there was Klemper. Urbana could understand his want of finding a friend, but Urbana was furious at him for destroying her sketch books with his ice breath. It took her hours to unfreeze them and dry them out.

The most recent appearance was Nicolai Technus. He infected her computer with a virus that kept shutting her computer down every time she’d try to open her web browser. Tucker fixed it after Nicolai was defeated but that didn’t help the fact that she disappointed her comic readers for her late comic update. She’s never been late in uploading her comics before and she hated that.

Even though all of these instances were understandably annoying it wasn’t the reason why she actively avoided them all except for Danny. She’s always been like this, even as a kid, if someone she doesn’t really know or isn’t familiar with is in her home, she just has the urge to hide from them until they are gone. She knows it’s a bad habit which is why she recently bought the book, _Making Friends for Dummies_, just to get some basic advice from someone. Sure, she could talk to Grandmama, Mr. and Mrs. Addams, or Fester about this but that’s too embarrassing and she didn’t want to see Grandmama’s smug face.

Urbana was sitting outside in the graveyard gazebo reading to the little kids of the graveyard her favorite book, _Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind_. The June sun was warm on her back as it helped fend off the cold presence of the ten little kids and the wind was gentle, like someone was half-heartedly playing with her hair. The ghost kids were having fun looking at the pictures while she read aloud to them.

While she was in the middle of reading all of the kids scattered for some reason. Her first thought was that another aggressive ghost had showed up and a twinge of anger and frustration welled in her. Then Sam call out her name and that anger and frustration was doused with her nervousness and shyness.

Turning around Urbana saw that Sam and Jazz were walking towards her and she couldn’t help but notice that they looked pissed as they got closer.

“Really? This is the important thing you had to do before work,” Sam said when they got to the gazebo.

“You know you upset Tucker this morning when you declined his offer to hang out,” Jazz said, “It’s the fifth time you’ve done it too and I think it’s getting to him.”

“You only ever want to hang out with Danny. Why is that?” Sam said sounding like she was a little jealous.

Urbana’s book _Making Friends for Dummies_ didn’t prepare her for an angry confrontation about her behavior, but she remembered reading in it that communication is key. She just wished that talking with people wasn’t so hard.

When Urbana thought they were done angerly talking at her she asked them, “Can I speak now?”

They both just glared at her, but they were silently waiting for her to speak her mind.

“I suppose I should start with an apology. My intention was never to hurt yours or Tucker’s feelings. It’s just, I always have to be choosy about the people I hang out with since hanging out with people drains my energy and being around new people has always made me nervous,” Urbana explained.

“We’ve been here for over a month now,” Sam said.

“I know,” Urbana said, “I’m sorry.”

“Then what’s Danny to you,” Sam said, sounding suspicious.

Jazz stood silently beside her, looking less angry and more sympathetic.

“He’s just a really good friend. I know that if we hi-five or fist bump or anything physical like that it will drain me completely and he’ll go on a “High Rampage” but when we talk it doesn’t feel draining at all. It’s nice being able to talk with someone who understand what your life is like. I like hearing his stories about his family and his friends and my favorite story between you and Danny, Sam, is the Fake-out Make-out story,” Urbana couldn’t help but smile and giggle at the story and Sam relaxed into a more embarrassed stance, “You two had a thing for each other even back then.”

Clearing her throat, Sam said, “Mhh, yah. We kind of did.”

With a small smile, Urbana continued, “And Danny is such a good listener. When I talk to him about my art projects, story ideas and about the cartoons that I watch, he seems genuinely interested in them and not bored out of his mind. He has even offered to watch the reboot of Fruits Basket with me, which is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me before… I’m sorry if I made it seem like I was just trying to keep him to myself or if I made it seem like I just don’t like you guys. I’m just not very good with people because I’m more familiar with ghosts, and in a way, since he’s part ghost, he won’t ever be _unfamiliar_ to me.”

Jazz sat down beside Urbana and enveloped her in a hug. Crying she said, “I’m so sorry I got so offended. I should have known better.”

Sam rubbed the back of her neck and said, “I guess it makes since that a person who can see ghosts would find it easier to befriend a half ghost person… I’m sorry too. For. Overreacting.”

“No. It’s fine. Based on the stories Danny has told me, it took several years of mutual pinning and a lot of ghostly shenanigans to get you two together. I understand if it feels like you have to “protect your claim” so to speak,” Urbana said while Jazz continued to hug her.

“How much did he tell you!” Sam asked, sounding embarrassed.

“A lot. I feel like I could crack the passwords to any of his devices at this point,” Urbana said which made Jazz laugh.

“Are you done hugging me, cause I’m feeling a bit uncomfortable,” Urbana asked Jazz.

Jazz immediately let go, “Sorry. Sorry.”

“So, what were you doing out here,” Sam asked.

“Oh, well. It’s kind of embarrassing, but I was reading to the kids here,” Urbana said.

“The kids?” Jazz asked, “Where?”

“I’ll introduce you,” Urbana said. She then turned back around and called out all ten kid’s names and they appeared one by one. Once they were all there, Sam and Jazz were shivering and looking around themselves trying to see what Urbana was seeing.

Urbana then motioned for the tallest kid to stand beside her and said, “This is Reta. She died when she was twelve and she’s the oldest out of the group and she’s also the de facto leader.”

Sam and Jazz looked at the perceived empty space where Urbana was pointing at while the little girl with ratty, blood caked blond hair with an old baseball hat on her head, wearing overalls and an oversized shirt stood before them, giving them the stink eye.

After a couple of seconds Reta turned back to Urbana and said, “Are these the gals that’s been messin’ wich’yah?”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say they’ve been messing with me,” Urbana said.

“She thinks we’ve been messing with you,” Jazz asked.

“Why would’j’yah be hidin’ den if dey weren’t,” Reta said.

“Because of my own insecurities,” Urbana answered.

“It’s weird to fight ghosts and still not be able to see certain ones,” Sam mused aloud.

Reta gave Sam her worst stink eye then told Urbana, “If ya want, we could, ya know, mess wich dem for yah. Give dem a message dat dey won’t miss.”

“Oh, Reta. That’s very kind of you to offer, but I promise, they’re good people. I bet you’d get along greatly with Sam if you give her a chance,” Urbana said.

“Mh-hm. Call me when she’s croaked like us,” Reta said then asked, “Are ya going to continue reading tha picture book to us?”

Urbana got out her phone and saw that it was getting close to her having to go to work.

“Sorry, Reta, and everyone else. We’re going to have to pick this up later,” Urbana said.

The nine kids and Reta all moaned, and Sam and Jazz shivered from an intense cold that came from the ghost kids.

“I feel uneasy,” Jazz said.

Urbana lead Jazz and Sam away from the gazebo and towards the kitchen as she said to the kids, “I work in the morning tomorrow so after work I’ll come and read to you guys then.”

Once they were inside the house, Jazz said, “That’s so nice of you to read to the kids.”

“…Thanks,” Urbana said.

# # #

Urbana was in the kitchen with Grandmama and Sam. Urbana and Sam were there helping Grandmama finish the magical preparations for the June séance later in the week. Grandmama was rummaging through her cupboards trying to find the final ingredient for her brew.

“What are you looking for Grandmama,” Sam asked while she was slowly pouring the dried clover leaves into the pot Urbana was stirring over the stove.

“I’m trying to find my damned supply of Iris petals,” Grandmama said as she slammed the last cupboard closed, “I guess I’ve ran out. Will you two go to the green house and get some Iris petals for me. They’ll be labeled so they shouldn’t be hard to find and only take two petals from each plant. Okay?”

“Okay, Grandmama. Just let me get my sword from my room first,” Urbana said.

Sam and Urbana were walking towards the greenhouse after Urbana acquired the sword.

“So, why do you need a sword?” Sam asked.

“Have- Have you not met Audrey yet?” Urbana asked her.

“I have. He’s a little rude, but he doesn’t really do much accept talk too much,” Sam said.

“Yah, well, that’s not how he is with me,” Urbana said as she gripped her fencing sword tightly, “You’ll see what I mean when he notices that I’m there.”

The green house was bright and warm. The ceiling windows were open, and the air was circulating the room, rustling the leaves of the produce and exotic plants. Birds were singing and hopping from plant to ceiling sprinklers.

“I love being here. Morticia and Grandmama do such a good job of caring for their plants,” Sam said as she stood and took a moment to breath in the environment.

“Yah, this use to be my favorite place to hang out in,” Urbana said as she kept walking forward to find the irises that Grandmama needs.

It took a minute, but they found the irises and plucked two petals from each flower like instructed.

“Alright, let’s—Woah!” Urbana yelped as she was pulled to the ground and dragged underneath the plant tables, feet first. Urbana was dragged a couple of feet through the green house before she managed to cut the plant tentacle from her ankle.

Sam ran up behind her saying, “Are you alright?”

Before Urbana could answer Audrey wailed, saying, “That hurt!”

“Good, because you made me drop Grandmama’s ingredients, you plant bastard,” Urbana yelled at him.

Audrey came out of hiding from his shady space in the green house. Him hopping in his clay pot would have been funny if he wasn’t the size of a baby elephant and if he didn’t have the sharp thorn like fangs or writhing plant tentacles.

“You just smell so good, Doll face. I just want another taste of your blood again,” Audrey said, “Please. I won’t ask for anymore. I swear.”

“Okay. I see what you mean about Audrey,” Sam said, sounding disturbed.

“My answer will always be no, Audrey,” Urbana said, “That first time was just an accident to begin with.”

“How _did_ he get your blood,” Sam asked.

“I was helping Mrs. Addams prune him when I accidentally snagged my hand on his thorns,” Urbana answered her.

More plant tentacles tried to grab Urbana, but she was ready for them and easily sliced them away from her.

“Owie!” Audrey cried, “Awe, come on, Doll face, just a little sip. I’m starving!”

“Not on your life and we all know very well that you get a two-liter bottle of animal blood every week. You’re fine,” Urbana said as she started backing away from him, “Now if you’ll excuse us. We’ve got some work to finish up. And keep your damn hentai tentacles the _fuck_ away from me. That is, unless you want me to cut you up some more?”

Sam and Urbana gathered the dropped Iris petals from where she was dragged away then they both left the green house without any more interruptions from Audrey. Once they were back in the kitchen and the brew was simmering, Sam had a question.

“What’s hentai?”

Face-palming, Urbana said, “Oh my god.”

“Are we learning a new word today,” Grandmama asked, sounding amused.

“No, because I’m not explaining,” Urbana said, sounding embarrassed.

“Ah, I see. So, it’s like, on the same level as a dirty joke,” Sam said.

Walking out of the kitchen, sword in hand, Urbana said, “I’m nope-ing out of here. Goodbye!”

Laughing, Grandmama yelled after her, saying, “Oh, come now Dearie! Don’t be like that!”

# # #

Urbana was sitting on the living room floor with Tucker, helping him build a drone that he bought on their trip here.

“Screwdriver,” Tucker asked.

Urbana handed him the tool while thinking about why being called a tool was an insult even though they are useful.

While he was screwing in one of the stabilizing wings on the drone Tucker asked, “So, do you think you’ll be able to come to the séance tonight?”

“No. I have to work tonight. Got to pay that rent and car repairs off,” Urbana said with a shrug.

“To bad. Hand me the screws from pile C,” he said.

Urbana did while asking herself if the term “screwing around” came from the fact that screws are round.

“Hey, do you think that if screws were square, we would say “screwing a square” instead of “screwing around”?” Urbana asked him.

Tucker’s glasses slid down his nose as he turned to look her in the eyes, a mixed look on his face.

“I’m sorry, what?” he asked.

Urbana repeated herself.

“No, I mean,” he said laughingly, “This just came out of nowhere.”

“Regardless, what do you think,” Urbana asked, trying get him to join in the fun conversation.

“I don’t know what to think,” Tucker said with a half-smile on his face, “Where does one even begin?”

Sighing, Urbana said, “Why don’t you tell me why you got this drone. Don’t you already have one?”

Presented with something more familiar Tucker started explaining the advantages of the new drone that his current one doesn’t have. After they finished building it, they went out into the sweltering day to test out his drone. It worked like a charm.

“Thanks for helping me build this. I didn’t think you would want to,” Tucker said as she was maneuvering his drone between the cars.

“I like puzzles and building something is just like a puzzle,” Urbana said.

“Hey, you want to pilot? It’s like a video game,” Tucker offered.

“Oh, no thank you! I appreciate the offer, but I would just crash it,” Urbana said, “It’s much safer in your hands.”

They stood there in, what felt like to Urbana, an awkward silence. She didn’t know what to say to him or how to relate to him. Talking to Danny, Sam, and Jazz was easier because she knows what she can relate to them with; Danny being a ghost and all that and Sam being a vegan and Urbana can relate to Jazz’s sense of responsibility. Urbana’s a traditional artist too, so it’s not like she can talk technical stuff about her art projects with Tucker either since he loves his technology. She doesn’t know how to relate to him at all, and she felt like she was the only one who was worrying about it, however, what Urbana didn’t realize was that Tucker was wanting to relate to her just as much.

Tucker’s phone started to ring, and Urbana’s ears perked when she realized that the ring tone was the song _Losing My Mind_ by Mystery Skulls and she loves that band. After Tucker picked up his phone and finished talking to him mom, Urbana stated her love of the aforementioned band.

“You do! What’s your favorite song of them?” Tucker asked, sounding excited.

“_Magic_. It’s their best song I think,” Urbana said.

“Personally, I think the song _Every Note_ is their best song,” Tucker stated.

Tucker reeled in his drone as they moved back inside to discuss their favorite music, both of them relieved to finally have something to talk about with each other.

# # #

It was Pugsley’s birthday and Urbana was helping Jazz take care of the guests that Pugsley had invited over; which seemed to be the entire school that he and Wednesday goes to. Jazz was giving orders like she was the captain of a ship going into a storm and Urbana followed her lead.

“Urbana! Cut up the cakes and get them on those plates,” Jazz ordered.

“Right away,” Urbana replied and immediately got to work on them. The plates of cakes were going as fast as she was cutting them while Jazz was serving up the juice.

Kids were running round playing their own games with Pugsley at the lead. He was wearing a pirate’s hat and had a cardboard pirate sword in hand. He wanted to show off his real pirate sword, but Jazz convinced him that even though he’s proficient with a sword that doesn’t mean his friends are.

“Urbana! Go get the piñatas out from under the staircase,” Jazz ordered.

“Coming up,” Urbana replied as she ran to the staircase from the kitchen while all the kids ran outside to get ready to beat up some paper mache animal figures.

It was that hectic all day until evening rolled around and all of the kids were picked up by their parents. Urbana and Jazz sat in the living room exhausted.

“Thanks again for helping me out,” Jazz said.

“I’m just glad I don’t have work today,” Urbana stated then asked, “Why didn’t anyone else want to help?”

“I’m too bossy for Danny, Sam, and Tucker’s liking, and I love my parents and aunt and uncle, but they can be a bit too _eccentric_ for the kids that Pugsley has invited and I just want to give him as many normal birthdays, for as long as he will allow me to give them to him,” Jazz explained.

“I don’t think you’re _that_ bossy, the way you command makes me think of work when we hit our rushes,” Urbana said, “Though, I suppose I would have to live with you to really tell.”

Jazz laughed at that.

Pugsley came into the living room and the two of them greeted him warmly despite how tired they both were.

“Thank you for my birthday party,” Pugsley said to Jazz, “You always make them the best.”

“I’m glad you liked it,” Jazz said.

“And thank you too, Urbana,” Pugsley said, “I had a lot of fun.”

“Good, what’s it like being twelve now?” Urbana asked him.

“You’ll have to ask me when I turn thirteen,” Pugsley said astutely.

“Boy, do we know that feeling,” Urbana joked to Jazz.

“I keep being told that I look eighteen still,” Jazz said, half laughing.

The three of them continued to talk together until Lurch got them for dinner.


	12. July Shenanigans

It was a hot July day outside, but Urbana Des Moines was still asleep in her room after a long day and night shift at the Olive Garden yesterday. She was sleeping soundly until someone hit her over the head with a pillow.

“Not now Pugsley,” Urbana said as she planted her face into her pillow.

“It’s Danny,” he said.

“Not now Danny,” Urbana corrected through her pillow.

Danny sat on her bed and said, “Come on. My sister, friends and cousins are all going to the lake again and you haven’t gone with us all summer. Do you not know how to swim?”

With her eyes still closed she turned her head towards him and said, “I know how to swim. What time is it?”

“11:00am,” Danny answered.

Urbana let out a long low groan. Then she said, “Alright. Get out. I’ll get my swimsuit on and after I take care of Gizmo I’ll come down to the lake.”

“Alright,” Danny said, and Urbana could feel him doing a fist pump.

The sun was hot, and the wind was nonexistent as the big blue sky looked down on them. This was Urbana’s first time actually going to the lake. Sure, she’s seen it whenever she’s on the highest floor, looking through a window, but she’s never gone to check it out because of school and work and a lack of motivation on her part. Looking at the lake water, it was pitch black, but it didn’t have any kind of weird smell to it, and the plants that were growing around it were healthy, and when Urbana stuck her hand into the cold water to check the temperature it didn’t feel grimy or mucky. It was just a normal looking lake that had pitch black water.

Sam and Wednesday were sitting together under a large umbrella on the dock. Both of them were trying to avoid getting sun burned or any kind of suntan at all. Sam was wearing a slick looking bikini that was black and purple. Wednesday was wearing a one-piece swimsuit that was pure black and had little frills on the shoulders and around the waist.

Jazz was unfolding a lounge chair in the black sand away from the water, looking like she was going to soak up some sunshine. She was in a solid teal one-piece swimsuit and her orange hair was in a bun and was wearing sunglasses.

Tucker, Danny, and Pugsley were already swimming in the water and hitting each other with pool noodles. Tucker was wearing a pair of solid red swim trunks and a special pair of goggles that acted like prescription glasses. Danny was wearing a white tank top and light blue swim trunks. Pugsley was wearing black and white striped swim trunks that looked like the shirts he usually wears.

Urbana sat at the edge of the dock kicking her feet into the water and letting the sun beat on her shoulders and back. She was wearing green short shorts over her rainbow bikini bottoms and her bikini top was rainbow colored too.

“Are you going to join us or what,” Pugsley asked Urbana.

“Give me a break, man. I just woke up,” Urbana said.

“This cold water will wake you up real quick,” Tucker stated.

“Oh? Are you challenging me?” Urbana asked.

“Depends. What’s the challenge?” Tucker asked.

“Do you two want to play a game my Dad and I use to play?” Urbana asked Tucker and Pugsley, “Sorry, Danny. The game I’m talking about requires a lot of touching.”

Danny waved away her worry.

Urbana then explained to the boys that her and her father had this pool game called Push Off. One person would stand at the edge of the pool with their backs turned to it, which was usually Urbana’s father, and the second person would try to run at the first person and try and tackle them into the water, which was usually Urbana. The first person couldn’t move from their spot, but they could try and deflect the second person from pushing them into the water with them.

“Yah, that’s sounds like fun,” Pugsley said as he rushed to get out of the water and climb up the dock.

“I’ll join,” Tucker said as he followed Pugsley, “I’m sure I’ll push you off on my first try.”

“Sam you should record this,” Danny called out to his girlfriend as he gathered the pool noodles together to float on them.

“Way ahead of you,” Sam answered from her shady spot with Wednesday.

Urbana stood at the edge of the dock. Only an inch or two away from the water’s edge while Tucker and Pugsley were a few feet away from her, farther down the walkway part of the dock.

“I don’t approve of this,” Jazz said from her lounge chair.

“Oh, relax, Jazz,” Tucker said, “We’re just having a normal amount of rough housing.”

Urbana got into a boxer’s stance, remembering how her Grandpa Des Moines taught her when she was young and it was how she remembered how her father use to stand whenever they played this game.

Pugsley was the first one to charge at her. He was aiming low, so Urbana got even lower. As soon as they connected, Urbana’s shoulder was in Pugsley’s stomach and she lifted him up and over her and into the water.

Pugsley resurfaced saying, “What just happened?”

“Are you alright,” Urbana asked him, her back towards Tucker.

“I’m fine, but that was amazing,” Pugsley said as he swam to the dock to climb back up, “I’m going to try again!”

Urbana heard Tucker charging at her, so she got read for him using her reflexes that she’s been practicing with Gomez. She spun back around, and she managed to maneuver her upper body around Tucker, tripping him in the process. Urbana then grabbed the back of his swim trunks and while using his forward momentum, threw him into the lake head first.

Tucker resurfaced to the sound of laughter from Sam and Danny.

“I’lL pUsH yOu OfF oN mY fIrSt TrY,” Sam mocked through her laughter.

“I saw the look on your face as you went down,” Danny laughed, “It was priceless.”

“Shut up! I’d like to see you two try,” Tucker said, sounding both embarrassed and entertained as he swam to the dock to climb back up.

“Maybe when it’s dark out,” Sam said from the safety of her shade.

Tucker and Pugsley kept failing to knock Urbana off the dock, but then they managed to convince Jazz to join them and then they all ran at her at the same time and finally knocked her into the water with them. To be fair, there was never a rule against more than one person running at you and everyone fell into the lake laughing.

“Okay, I’m going next,” Danny said as he climbed up the dock.

Urbana stayed in the water while she watched everyone else play a new game of Push Off. Urbana figured that Danny would turn intangible at the last second at some point, just to be funny, since she didn’t make a rule about that either.

Jazz was the first one to run at Danny and Danny did what she predicted. Jazz passed right through Danny and fell into the water, running. Urbana, Tucker, Sam, and Danny couldn’t help but laugh.

“That’s not fair, Danny,” Wednesday shouted.

“New rule,” Jazz said when she resurfaced, “You can’t do that anymore.”

While they continued playing Push Off, Urbana was enjoying floating on the pool noodles and laughing with everyone. Then a nightmarish thing happened to Urbana. She felt a scaly, webbed hand firmly grasp her left ankle and she was dragged beneath the water.

Urbana managed to grab a quick breath of air before she was fully dragged under. Thankfully though, based on the water pressing on her ears, whoever dragged her under didn’t pull her far enough that it made her ears pop. It was close though. Urbana made sure she stayed calm, she knew from her dad that if she flailed around, she’d use up more oxygen and run out of breath sooner.

Urbana peered through the dark water as best as she could, considering she didn’t have goggles on to see underwater with, making everything look blurry. Based on what she could see, there was a dark green, swamp monster-looking, fish man in front of her. He was holding something in his webbed hands that was wrapped up in kelp. He then shoved in into Urbana’s arms then Urbana felt the grasp on her ankle let go.

While she was slowly floating up, Urbana saw two other dark brown-green fish people, but they looked more feminine and one seemed younger than the other two. All of them looked like they were waving goodbye. Urbana had so many questions, but she was running out of breath, so she quickly and smoothly swam back to the surface. She resurfaced, gasping for breath.

“Are you okay,” Wednesday asked while Urbana grabbed the nearest pool noodle to hold on to.

“I’d be much better if I was told that there are fucking fish people in this lake,” Urbana said once she caught her breath.

Jazz, Sam, Tucker, and Danny all face-palmed themselves.

“We’re sorry, Urbana,” Pugsley said, “We’re all so use to the knowledge, we forgot to tell you.”

While Urbana climbed back onto the dock, everyone was explaining to her that George, Linda, and their daughter, Lily, live in the lake and are related to Cousin Sofia. More specifically, George is the great grandchild of Cousin Sofia’s little sister. They hibernate during the fall and winter and only come out of the water at night during spring and summer months.

“Okay, then what’s with this,” Urbana said as she held out her kelp wrapped thing to them.

“Oh, it’s a housewarming gift,” Wednesday said.

“Are you going to open it,” Danny asked her.

Urbana ripped apart the kelp to reveal a hand made necklace. Twin was tied around polished muscle shells that showed pearl white and gave off a rainbow sheen, bones of some kind carved with decorative symbols on them that Urbana didn’t recognize, and black round rocks about the size of a curled pointer finger. It was a beautiful necklace.

“Oh, that’s George’s best work yet,” Jazz said, “I remember when he made me that bracelet.”

Urbana quietly put on the necklace then asked, “What time is it?”

Sam looked at the time on her phone, “1:30pm.”

Urbana got back on her feet and said, “Welp, have a nice rest of your day, guys. I’ve got work today at 3. I need to go take a shower before I leave.”

Everyone wished her well as she walked away.

Later that night, after she got back after another long night at work, Urbana went to the black lake and found Lily and had her bring her parents up so she could properly thank them for her gift. They apologized for getting handsy with her in return and Urbana appreciated that.

# # #

It was Urbana’s day off, which felt like a rare luxury for her now-a-days, and she was packing up her drawing pencils and papers from drawing outside in the hot July sun. As she was heading inside, she could hear a ruckus going on in the entrance hall and living room. When she opened the front door, Urbana saw that, yet another aggressive ghost had showed up. To her, the new ghost looked like what would happen if you gave the Jumanji Hunter a haunted body armor from Doom.

The Fenton Family were fighting the ghost with grace and blunt force trauma and despite being outnumbered, 7 to 1, the aggressive ghost was doing a bang-up job of keeping them on their toes, much to Urbana’s annoyance. The Adams Family were more or less trying to keep certain objects from being obliterated by the aggressive ghost’s ghost rays and guns, while also cheering their other family members on.

Urbana wanted no part in any of it, so she carefully closed the door behind her and gave the two fighting parties a wide birth as she was trying to walk up the stairs to get to her room.

“When will you give up on trying to capture Danny, Skulker!” Jazz yelled at him.

“When the welp’s pelt starts losing value to me,” Skulker stated before trying to blast Jazz with his ghost ray powers.

Jazz dodged and the ghost ray blew right through a living room wall, about the size of a large softball. Then, before Urbana’s very own eyes, she saw the wall repair itself, and the hole was gone in a minute. She didn’t know the house could do that.

“Watch out!” Maddie said as she shoved Urbana to the ground before a stray ghost gunshot could get her.

When Urbana sat up on the floor, she saw that her drawings that she worked hard on for her comic were ingulfed by green flames and something inside her snapped. Urbana let loose a blood curdling scream and without thinking Urbana got on her feet and started stomping towards Skulker. Urbana didn’t even notice that everyone had stopped fighting as she only had sights for Skulker’s head on a platter. Both Danny and Skulker were squinting hard at Urbana’s direction as she approached closer.

“I am _sick_ and _tired_ of all your BULLSHIT!” Urbana said as Skulker raised a hand over his face to shade his eyes, like he was looking at the setting sun. Danny was backing away, looking visibly scared but Urbana didn’t notice.

“You and your parlor tricks don’t scare me,” Skulker said as he raised his other hand to fire a ghost ray at Urbana, “You’re just a human.”

Skulker fired his ghost ray at Urbana and she back-hand slapped it away from herself like it was a pesky fly and she grabbed his wrist.

“You’re still human too,” Urbana said in a harsh whisper, then she ripped his mechanical arm off him.

Urbana then proceeded to beat Skulker’s ass with his own arm while furiously throwing curses at him so fowl that repeating them would cause the electronic device that you’re reading this on to develop a virus. When the mechanical body was thoroughly destroyed and all that was left of Skulker was his true form, a green blob with spindly little arms and legs about the size of a large softball, Urbana grabbed him tightly in one hand and stomped over to the front door. In Urbana’s grasp, Skulker looked like he was burning.

“And if I _ever_ see you in his house again, I will shove my _arm_ down your _ass_, I’ll _grab_ your _tongue_, and I’ll pull you inside out so you can see what a piece of _shit_ you truly are,” Urbana told him before opening the door and throwing him out and slamming the door behind him.

There was a moment of silence as Urbana breath heavily against the front door. Some of the people in the room, that had watch Urbana beat up Skulker, had developed metaphorical and literal fear boners. I’m not at liberty to say who exactly, but I can assure you that it wasn’t any of the adults.

Urbana gruffly stomped towards the kitchen as everyone held still and silent. When she came back out of the kitchen Urbana held a dustpan and a broom in hand and she walked up to the ashy remains of her art as she swept it up like she was at a best friend’s funeral who was taken from this world far too soon.

Grandmama walked up to Urbana and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, “I’ll make you some Lavender tea. Does that sound nice?”

Still sweeping and trying not to cry Urbana said, “Yah. Sounds great.”

Leaving the mess alone in the living room, everyone moved to the kitchen and got comfortable, but they were all still very quiet, like they were worried that a tiger was lose in the house. Grandmama sat the cup of Lavender tea in front of Urbana. She took a moment to smell the perfume the drink gave off, then she took a long, slow sip.

“I’m sorry everyone,” Urbana told them, “I don’t know what came over me.”

“Are you kidding? You were amazing,” Pugsley said.

“It was like witnessing a crime of passion,” Wednesday stated, and Lurch agreed with a head nod.

“Where did you learn to fight like that,” Tucker asked.

“From getting into fights when I was seven and younger and also, I was taught how to fight by my Grandpa Des Moines and my Dad. I haven’t lost my cool like that in a long time, I’m ashamed of myself. I’m truly sorry,” Urbana said.

“Eh, Skulker deserved it,” Sam said with a shrug, “You looked cool doing it.”

“You should have seen it from my point of view,” Danny said as he transformed back into his human version.

“Tell us what you saw, son,” Jack said, enthusiastically.

“Well, you always glow. Like right now, you have a soft golden, yellow glow all around you,” Danny stated, “But when you approached Skulker, it was like the sun had ingulfed you in a six-foot radius of light and each time you struck him it was like plasma was shooting off of you.”

“Well, that just makes me want to have been dead to see it,” Fester stated.

“Oh, I know right,” Morticia said, “But I felt what Danny was talking about. It was intense.”

“I bet she would have done even more damage if she had her fencing sword on her,” Gomez added as he brandished his own sword.

“This could spell trouble for you though,” Jazz said, “I just hope he does as you tell him, cause I don’t think that’ll be the last you’ll see of him. As you probably already know, he’s a persistent hunter.”

“I thought he only hunted rare ghosts,” Grandmama said.

“You never know, Mom,” Maddie said then added, “But one thing’s for sure, we would love to run some more tests on you, but only if you’re okay with it.”

Urbana shook her head as she left the empty cup on the table as she got up, “No. I have some work to redo and my next day off won’t be for a while. I’m going to my room now.”

Before leaving, Urbana gave Grandmama a thank you kiss on the cheek for the tea and everyone said goodbye to her as she left.

# # #

Urbana got home from work at 7pm at night. It wasn’t an unreasonable time to get home, but she still felt exhausted from her shift. Everyone was hanging outside in the front yard in the shade of the house created by the soon to be setting sun. When she pulled up to the house, the first thing Urbana noticed was that the Fenton Family’s RV was transformed into a little disco area with a karaoke machine, a disco ball, and rainbow lights were flashing. Maddie, Jack, Gomez and Morticia were on the dance floor, Urbana could hear through her car that the song they were dancing to was Earth, Wind, and Fire’s Song _Fantasy_. The song instantly reminded her of her mother.

Urbana got out of her car singing with the song as everyone waved her over. The song breathed new life into her as she kicked off her work shoes into the grass and took off her work shirt to reveal a plan white tank top. After throwing her work shirt at Grandmama for her to hold she then got on the dance floor with the two couples.

When the song was over Urbana heard Sam ask loudly, “What are you looking at Tucker.”

This prompted Urbana to look at Danny, Sam, and Tucker who were sitting together on the stairs. Tucker looked away from her abruptly.

“Shut up, Sam” Tucker said.

Before Urbana could go over there and ask what was up, Jack slapped Urbana on the back and said, “Fantastic pipes you’ve got there! You even made Fester wiggle his toes over there.”

Fester was playing Firecracker Jacks with Wednesday and Pugsley. Urbana didn’t know what the game was about, but she knew it had something to do with firecrackers and she didn’t want anything to do with something that could blow her fingers off.

Without looking at them Fester said, “A real toe tapper song, huh kids,” he was extinguishing the firecrackers with his fingers as a bouncy ball was high in the air and falling fast. By the time he caught it only one firecracker went off. Pugsley and Wednesday clapped at the sight.

“How was work for you today,” Jazz asked as she sat in a yard chair with Grandmama while Maddie and Morticia decided what song to dance to next.

Lurch came over and handed her a lemonade as Urbana said, “Tiring. But I’ll live. What made you guys want to do this today?” Urbana then took a sip of lemonade.

Gomez came over and draped his arm over her shoulders and said, “We thought it’d be something to cheer you up with, considering what happened the other day. You should thank Tucker for thinking of you, he’s the one who thought of it.”

Urbana heard chocking sounds coming from Tucker. He had a glass of lemonade in hand and Urbana guessed some of his drink went down the wrong pipe.

“You okay,” Urbana asked him.

Sam and Danny were snickering behind him as Tucker gave her a thumbs up.

“Okay. Thanks for thinking of me,” Urbana told him.

“Urbana dear, how about you choose,” Morticia asked as she walked over to them, “Maddie and I can’t agree on a song.”

Urbana lit up as she said, “I want to sing karaoke!” then she turned back to Tucker and asked him, “Hey, you want to sing _Magic_ with me?”

“I don’t know. I’m not a very good singer,” Tucker said. Sam and Danny nodded their heads in agreement.

“Aw, fuck off with that nonsense. Karaoke isn’t about sounding good, it’s about having fun,” Urbana said, repeating what she remembered what her mother told her father once.

Tucker chuckled and said, “Well. I guess when you put it that way.”

While Tucker and Urbana sang together, Fester came over and started doing a synchronized dance routine with Jack and Gomez, that they have obviously practiced together a lot. Urbana thought it was cute. Maddie and Morticia started dancing with Wednesday and Pugsley. Sam and Danny decided to come down to the dancefloor to slow dance with each other despite the upbeat music. Jazz and Lurch stayed beside Grandmama. Grandmama may be a sprightly old woman at heart, but she could still bust a hip or something if she wasn’t careful. It was a nice night and it made Urbana feel less spiritually and emotionally tired.

# # #

The Fenton Family RV was packed up and they were ready to head back home to Amity Park. In the entrance hall Jack, Fester, and Gomez were group hugging each other and sobbing loudly. Maddie was saying goodbye to her mother and sister with hugs and kisses. Jazz, Danny, Sam, and Tucker were saying their goodbyes to Pugsley and Wednesday. Urbana stood to the side with Lurch, with Thing and Gizmo sitting on each of her shoulders. Urbana was waiting for her turn to say goodbye to them, and she was going to miss them, but there was also a part of her who was relieved to know that they were leaving. Having so many people in one home, even in a mansion as big as this one, was exhausting to her.

Maddie and Jack came over to Urbana and embraced her in a hug.

“We are so glad to have met you, Urbana. It was also nice to meet your mother too, even though we couldn’t see her,” Maddie said.

“We hope to see you again, next year,” Jack added.

Maddie then planted a kiss on Urbana’s forehead before they both stopped hugging her. Urbana didn’t realize she was already on the familiar-like-family-kiss level in this relationship.

“It was nice having you here. If I discover anything new about my abilities or if you guys need my help with anything, you guys can call me,” Urbana said then she gave Maddie a goodbye kiss on her cheek.

“Awe, how sweet,” Grandmama said.

“Here. These are for you,” Jack said has he put a pair of electronic looking gloves on Urbana, “Try them on our son.”

“Uh, okay,” Urbana said as she walked over to them.

Jazz went up to Urbana and wrapped her in a strong hug, “If you ever need any emotional help, I’m just a phone call away. You have my phone number, right?”

“Thank you. I have everyone’s phone number,” Urbana said, her voice muffled from being firmly smothered into Jazz’s bosom.

“Jazz, I think she can’t breathe,” Danny said.

Jazz let go, and Urbana dramatically and unnecessarily gasped for breath as she sank to the floor with a hand over her eyes.

“Oh, shut up,” Jazz said, making Urbana giggle.

Danny grabbed Urbana’s hand to help her up. Both of them had a split second of thinking, oh shit, but nothing happened as Urbana got to her feet.

“Ha, haaaa! It worked,” Jack said.

“Oh, that’s wonderful, Dear,” Morticia said, “Your invention is a success.”

Urbana raised her hand and asked Danny, “Hi five?”

Both of them smiling, they hi fived and Urbana said with a laugh, “Bye five.”

“Boo,” Danny said.

That just made Urbana laugh harder. Urbana, still laughing, went over to Sam and Tucker and gave them a hug.

“Hope to see you next year,” Tucker said.

“I bet you do,” Sam said, teasingly.

“Oh my god, will you give me a break already,” Tucker said.

Urbana, feeling a bit giddy and not really thinking, gave Sam and Tucker a goodbye kiss on their cheeks, shutting up Sam’s smugness and inducing a panicked silence in Tucker.

“I think I’m going to miss your bickering,” Urbana said as she pulled away from hugging them both. Then she said to Sam, “We should do vegan/vegetarian dish tradeoffs someday,” then she said to Tucker, “And we should go to a live Mystery Skulls concert together at some point.”

Urbana then left them alone in their silence.

The Addams Family and Urbana stood outside, Urbana making sure she was covered with an umbrella for Gizmo’s sake, and everyone waved goodbye to the Fenton Family as they drove off. Once the RV was out of sight, everyone went back inside except for Grandmama and Urbana.

“I’m glad you were able to make new friends, Dear,” Grandmama told Urbana.

Urbana looked at Grandmama, the look in her eyes showed nothing but genuine happiness for her sake. Urbana thought about how she though Grandmama would only be smug about it and felt a pang of guilt from it.

“You have a very kind family,” Urbana told her.

“As a mother, you can only try your best,” Grandmama said, “Now, come on. I’ve made salted grasshoppers for you and Gizmo.”

“Oh, yum,” Urbana said, and Gizmo clapped his hands together and Thing snapped his fingers in agreement as they walked inside.


	13. Ghost of the Past

Urbana Des Moines had plans on the first day of August to take some time out of her day to go and draw the trees that surround the Addams family yard. That went up in smoke though when every tree on the property spontaneously dropped their leaves at high noon, at the exact same time. Thwamp! Every beautiful green leaf, just on the ground. It left Urbana spooked for a second and disappointed for the rest of the day, as to what she was going to do on her day off before school started for her again.

Urbana was listlessly exploring the mansion when she heard Lurch playing on the grand piano in the music room, along with a cello, a saxophone, a trumpet, two guitars, and a bass. Thinking there’s no way that Lurch was playing all of those instruments at once, she went to go see what was going on. As she got closer it became clearer that the song that was being played was _Spooky Scary Skeletons_. Entering the music room, Urbana saw that Lurch was on face chat with six different musicians on the family laptop, they all played beautifully.

When they finished playing the song Urbana applauded and said, “Wow, Lurch! I didn’t know you made a band.”

Lurch turned around and greeted her with a wave.

“Hey, who you got there,” the woman with the saxophone asked Lurch.

Lurch waved her over so his friends could see her better.

“Hello, nice to meet you,” Urbana said.

The band members all greeted her.

The woman with the cello asked, “Is this the tenant you and the rest of the family has been telling us about?”

Lurch nodded.

“Oh that's wonderful! Hello Dear,” the woman holding the bass said.

“Is this a new arrangement you all are starting,” Urbana asked.

“No, we've been performing together for years,” the trumpet lady said.

A memory flashed in Urbana’s head and she blurted out, “That's right! You guys were the live musicians at the family reunion last year. All of you were amazing. “

“Thank you,” the man with the guitar said.

The other guitarist said, “We should introduce ourselves.

First was Aika, the celloist, and Urbana learned that she’s the second youngest daughter of Kono Addams the mask maker. Her black hair was cut into a bob, she had on thick round glasses, and she had a cute chubby face.

Second was Olivia, the saxophonist, and Urbana learned that she’s was the great, great granddaughter of Witchery Addams the hedge witch. Her black hair was braided back into cornrows, she was wearing a decorative gray and green silk scarf, and she smiled like it was always on her face.

Third was Link, the guitarist, and Urbana learned that he’s the adopted son of Sofia Addams the fortune teller. His blond/white hair was shaved down, he wore medium sized hoop earrings, and there was a glint of playful mischief in his eyes.

Fourth was Layla, the trumpetist, and Urbana learned that she was married to Boneless Addams, the man who helps manage the games on the front lawn during the reunion. Her black, densely curled hair was decorated with gold ornaments, her makeup was very bold, and she had a confidence about her that made you think she owned the world.

Fifth was Jammana, the second guitarist, and Urbana learned that she used to live at the Addams family mansion before finding a new home, but she’s still considered family. Her hair was covered up by a pretty peacock feather decorated hijab, she had an eyebrow and nose ring on her face, and she had a very overly proper but kind attitude about her.

Sixth was Bree, the bassist, and Urbana learned that she was Jammana’s best friend turned girlfriend. She had long red hair that looked a bit unkempt, one arm was completely covered in tattoo art of fairies and nature imagery and she gave off a mix of wild child arura and responsible adult arura.

“So do you guys practice year around or do you get together at the start of August each year and break up after the reunion,” Urbana asked.

Link said, “Both. We always practice our instruments by ourselves and we only need about four months to practice our music together to get it right. Unless it’s a particularly difficult song, then we start in July.”

“It’s a lot of fun,” Bree added.

“We all used to be a travelin’ band,” Olivia said, “I don’t know if Lurch told you this, but he was a mad man on the piano.”

Lurch put his hands to his face in shy embarrassment.

“No he hasn’t but I can believe it,” Urbana said, “We sometimes play a song together that he got me for Valentine’s Day. He always makes the song sound pretty.”

“Yah, Lurch told us that you’re in collage choir,” Aika said, “Can we hear the song you two play?”

Lurch cracked his knuckles then he started playing the melody to _After the Ball_. Urbana counted the beats then started sinking the lyrics. They played only the first part of the song. Lurch’s bandmates all applauded at their performance.

“Jammana, what do you think?” Layla asked.

“We could branch out to other songs if she’s willing,” Jammana stated.

Urbana wasn’t following.

Jammana then added, “But only if everyone else is fine with it.”

Lurch nodded his head.

“I think she’ll be fun,” Bree said and everyone else agreed.

Layla then asked Urbana, “Hey, do you want to be our lead singer for our band and perform at the family reunion?”

“Oh, really?” Urbana said and when they nodded, she then added, “Sure. Why not. I’ll be making my Mom proud.”

“Oh yah,” Link said, “Is your mother a music fan.”

“More than a fan, she was in her own jazz band when we use to live at the old house. She would perform late night at a pretty big bar and before she met my Dad, I know that she played in a band on a late night show called _The Late Night Show_,” Urbana explained.

“Whoa! That’s huge,” Aika said.

“That’s what she said,” Urbana quickly said.

That made Link and Bree chuckle.

“Cool. Glad you can join,” Jammana said, “Lurch, will you be a dear and give her our practicing schedule and Urbana, lets trade numbers so I can send you the songs you’ll need to practice the lyrics to.”

Urbana traded numbers with Jammana and then she left Lurch and his friends to continue practicing without her for the day.

# # #

Urbana was in the attic, humming the melody to a song she’s long forgotten the lyrics to, and alphabetizing the different glass beakers and other glass containers for Fester’s chemical experiments. He even gave her an extensive list of how he wanted them arranged. Fester would have done this himself, but he had to go on an errand and Urbana was done with the day’s homework and her comic drawing work, so she didn’t mind. She had been working on them for an hour and a half when Pugsley walked up the pull-down stairs.

“Grandmama says lunch is ready.”

“Thank you, Pugsley,” Urbana said as she stood up and looked at the time on her phone, “Cool. I have enough time to eat before I have to head for work.”

Walking down the little stairs then going down the corridor Pugsley said, “That’s good. I miss you, with you being out at school for so long and then being at your job for even longer.”

“Awe, that’s sweet of you to say,” Urbana said then asked as they started walking down the normal stairs, “Have you seen Fester? I have to tell him the progress I made on organizing his equipment.”

“He just got home,” Pugsley said as they made their way to the kitchen.

As Urbana opened the door to the kitchen, she was about to say good, but she was interrupted by the rest of the Addams family yelling surprise at them and the sound of party poppers filled the air with confetti landing on them.

“Happy Anniversary, Urbana!”

Urbana stood stock still. The only sound coming out of her mouth was a drawn out, uh.

“Can you believe that you’ve been living with us for a whole year,” Morticia said.

“We hope you stay for another,” Gomez added.

“Come. I’ve made your favorite meal. Cheese dumplings,” Grandmama said as she took Urbana’s hand and lead her over to the table to sit.

“Hey! Why didn’t anyone tell me, we were throwing Urbana a surprise party,” Pugsley said, sounding pouty.

“Because, you would have ruined the surprise,” Wednesday said matter-a-fact-ly.

“I can keep a secret,” Pugsley argued.

“Now come on, Pugsley. There’s always next year,” Fester said as he patted the boy’s head.

As Pugsley grumpily sat down at the kitchen table with the rest of the family, Urbana’s phone started to ring, signaling that someone wanted to face chat with her. She opened her FaceTime app on her phone and Danny’s face appeared.

“Hey, happy anniversary,” Danny congratulated her.

“You were in on it too,” Urbana asked him.

“Not just me,” Danny said then he was gone after some rustling, the sound of fighting, and blurred video, then Jazz’s face appeared.

“Hey, Jazz,” Urbana said.

“Hey, how are you,” Jazz asked, “Are you doing alright in school? Are you staying safe? Have any of the ghosts that followed us to the mansion shown up and given you any trouble?”

Smiling and feeling nostalgic, Urbana answered all of Jazz’s question’s dutifully. Then before she could ask her any more questions the screen went blurry again and Urbana could hear Danny yelling at his sister about being too overprotective or something, Urbana couldn’t tell. Then Danny’s face reappeared.

“Sorry about that,” Danny said.

“I really don’t mind,” Urbana said, “She’s a sweetheart.”

“Yah, well, you’d get tired of it if you lived with her like I do,” Danny said and in the background Urbana could hear Jazz yell a disgruntled, hey, at her brother, “You got anything special planned for today?”

“I’m just going to eat then get ready for work,” Urbana said as Grandmama slid a bowl of cheese dumplings in front of her.

“Then I won’t keep ya,” Danny said, “When your free I’ve got to tell you about how I kicked Penelope Spectra’s ass yesterday.”

“I can’t wait,” Urbana said, “and I want to tell you about how the newest episode of _Interspecies Reviewers_ has made me laugh. I’ll never look at boba tea the same way again.”

“Oh, god,” Danny said, “Can’t wait. Bye.”

They both hung up on each other and Urbana dug into her food. Grandmama’s food was amazing as ever.

“You know,” Wednesday said, “You really don’t have to take Jazz’s coddling. She’ll back off of you if you tell her to.”

“No, really. It’s fine,” Urbana said, “I enjoy it. Being an only child can be lonely sometimes and it reminds me of when I use to have a big brother figure. Back before we moved to our new house. He was overprotective like Jazz, but based on what I remember, he was a chaotic good person instead of a lawfully good person like Jazz is.”

“Why isn’t he your big brother figure anymore,” Pugsley asked.

The nostalgic feeling faded away as Urbana said, “Because he crossed some lines that shouldn’t be forgiven.”

There was a moment of silence as everyone’s silverware clanked against the bowls while they ate.

“So, Urbana, will you tell us about that show you said you wanted to talk to Danny about,” Gomez asked.

Urbana did, she didn’t get too specific, on account that Wednesday and Pugsley were there, but she did have fun telling them about the concept of _Interspecies Reviewers_ and it was nice hanging out with everyone. So much so that she kind of wished her father was there.

# # #

Urbana didn’t have homework and she was going to work the late shift at Olive Garden, so she was making the most out of her morning and early afternoon by finishing two comic strips and spending the rest of her day practicing her fencing while memorizing the lyrics to the songs Jammana sent her. She was having a good time by herself and she was practicing her footing on the stairs. Feeling a bit adventurous, Urbana thought she’d try that trick she’s seen Gomez do when he’s sword fighting with Pugsley. Slide down the stair railing, while standing, then do a front flip.

Urbana climbed on top of the first-floor railing. As she slid down, she felt her belly flop and she managed to do a front flip at the end, but instead of landing on her feet she fell on her ass and dropped her sword. It hurt a lot.

Urbana heard a collective, that-looked-like-it-hurt, groan at the entrance hall. Looking up she saw Wednesday was with another goth girl that looked about 14 years old with a camera hanging around her neck, and there were two adults with them, a man in a dirty looking green plaid shirt and tan khaki pants and a woman in a green plaid summer dress. Urbana couldn’t help but also smell something dead or rotting.

“Do you need help up,” Wednesday asked.

“Maybe a little,” Urbana said.

Wednesday and the other girl came over and helped her back onto her feet. The couple trailed behind the two girls. Once she was on her feet again, Wednesday picked up her sword and handed it back to her.

“Who’re your friends, Wednesday,” Urbana asked, while keeping the sword point down on the floor.

“Friends? Um, this is Lydia Deetz. She’s new to our school,” Wednesday said.

“My family and I moved here over the summer,” Lydia said.

“Oh, cool,” Urbana said, “I bet it was hard,” Urbana then looked up at the two adults that she assumed was Lydia’s parents and said, “Are you guys still unpacking or is everything put away?”

The two adults looked at each other in confusion and Lydia shared in their confusion as they looked to each other then back to her. The smell of rot seemed to be getting stronger.

Urbana slapped her forehead and said, “Oh, I’m sorry for being rude. My name’s Urbana Des Moines,” then she extended her hand out to them and said, “It’s nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Deetz.”

“Wait. You can see them?” Lydia asked.

“What?” Urbana said.

“Lydia, are you haunted?” Wednesday asked, sounding slightly excited from her usual monotone, “I wonder if that’s why I saw you in Cousin Sofia’s book.”

Now it was Lydia’s turn to ask what.

Urbana looked closely at the two adults as the smell of rotting flesh assaulted her nose. Finally, she noticed that she could see right through them. They were amazingly solid looking for nonaggressive ghosts.

“I can’t believe I outed myself like this,” Urbana said as she facepalmed.

“And your name _is_ Urbana Des Moines, right?” A man’s gruff, smoker voice asked from above.

All three girls and the two ghosts looked up as Urbana said, “Yes, it is, why are--Oh no.”

The ghost that was hanging above them looked like a floating corpse. He had short, green tented blond hair, a permanent five o’clock shadow, blood red fingernails, and he was wearing a black and white striped suit with a purple-red dress shirt.

Sounding emotional, Beetlejuice said, “Toots, I thought I’d never see you again!”

“You know him,” Wednesday asked, Urbana.

“You can see him,” Urbana asked. Then she felt a rage she thought she had managed to bury a long time ago.

Beetlejuice flew down to try and give Urbana a hug, but Urbana decapitated him with her fencing sword.

“Oh, god, Beetlejuice! Are you okay?” Lydia asked as she picked up his head.

“Um, excuse me, Miss Des Moines,” the ghost lady said, then asked, “Could you maybe tone it down.” The two dead adults were shielding their eyes like they were being blinded by an intense light.

“Emotionally, I’m not,” Beetlejuice said as Lydia helped put his head back on his body, “What did you do that for?”

“You can be seen by normal people. This. Entire. Time!?” Urbana said.

Making a pair of sunglasses appear over eyes he said, “Yah. I mean, only if I’m summoned, but I really prefer not to, regardless.”

“I pReFeR nOt To,” Urbana mocked.

Wednesday, Lydia, and the two ghosts started to back away from the two adults.

Confused, Beetlejuice said, “You know, this isn’t how I imagined our reunion.”

“And I didn’t imagine us meeting each other, again, at all,” Urbana said, with a raised voice.

“You don’t mean that,” Beetlejuice said, sounding heartbroken.

Urbana had a lot to say but she was interrupted by an excited gasp that came from up the stairs.

Pugsley said, “Oh my god! You’re finally here!”

Pugsley ran down the rest of the stairs and grabbed Beetlejuice’s hand and said, “Hi, I’m Pugsley. It’s so cool to finally meet you. You look so much like Bugwine in Urbana’s comic, well, minus the zebra costume.”

With a slight smile and a raised eyebrow, Beetlejuice asked her, “You made a comic about me?”

Urbana gave him a cold stare but smiled down at Pugsley and said to the boy, “Will you entertain our guests for me with your sister. I have to go get ready for work.”

“Already?” Wednesday asked.

“Yep,” she lied, then she turned to the two dead adults and said, “Sorry I can’t give you a tour myself, Mr. and Mrs.?”

“Maitland,” Mr. Maitland said, both of them still shielding their eyes.

She gave them a farewell nod then climbed up the stairs. Urbana could hear Beetlejuice trying to say something to her, but he was drowned out by Pugsley’s talking.

Once she was in her room, she saw that Gizmo was playing MineCreate on her computer again, on her bed. Urbana tossed her sword on the floor and fell into her bed face first. Gizmo could sense that something wasn’t right and immediately stopped playing on her computer to go up to Urbana.

Gizmo gently stroked her neck and Urbana wrapped an arm around him to hug him. As angry tears slipped from her eyes, she whispered furiously to herself, “Stop crying. It doesn’t matter. Stop crying. Stop it. It doesn’t matter.”

Gizmo purred, inquisitively.

“Oh, it’s just,” she sniffled, “An old friend showed up today that I had hoped that I’d never see again. I just found out, that this entire time, that he could be seen by normal people, but he just never let anyone see him. It was his choice not to be seen. There could have been so much shit I wouldn’t have had to go through if he just showed himself. Bastard.”

Gizmo purred his response.

“Yah, he was my friend. That’s why I tried to forgive so much. Like he’s a ghost. Not all ghosts are capable of being seen by normal people, and it just wouldn’t have be fair of me to tell him to show himself when I thought he could never do that,” She breathed in wheezily, “I left him at my old house’s cemetery understanding the idea that he couldn’t help being invisible to normal people. I felt so guilty about it.”

Gizmo cuddled against Urbana’s neck. His padded little paws and soft fur was comforting as Urbana tried to stop crying for the next minute or two.

Letting go of Gizmo and getting up she said to herself, “Okay. Come on Urbana,” She then walked into her bathroom and stared at herself in the mirror, “Pull yourself to-fucking-gether, girl. Just get out of the house. Remember. You worked hard to be this angry for yourself. You don’t care about him anymore. You’ve moved on.”

She then washed her face with cold water, put on her work clothes, grabbed her purse, wallet, and phone, then took one of the secret entrance ways down to the first floor and snuck out of the house without telling anyone goodbye.


	14. Family Relations

It was September and Urbana was on her phone talking to Tucker about her success in managing to memorize three new songs and how practice with Lurch and his buddies was going well.

“That’s great,” Tucker said, “I’ve helped Jazz and Mrs. Fenton create a new gadget that’ll help normies, like me, to fight ghosts. I got to name it, the Tucker Taser.”

“You’ve got to tell me how you guys managed to make electricity affect ghosts,” Urbana said as she passed Lydia photographing Wednesday in a puddle of fake blood in the tearoom.

As she was listening to Tucker explain how he helped in making the Tucker Taser, she walked down the stairs and to the kitchen and saw that Pugsley was showing off his pet spiders to Beetlejuice. Urbana just wanted to get a glass of milk. She didn’t come to the kitchen to feel assaulted, but she smiled and waved when Pugsley greeted her.

Beetlejuice went up to her and asked in a whisper beside her, “Who ya talkin’ to, Toots?”

“That’s sounds really cool,” Urbana said when Tucker finished explaining about his device.

While Urbana was pouring herself a glass of milk, Tucker asked, “Enough about me. Will you be recording your big _debut_?”

“What’ch’ya talkin’ about,” Beetlejuice asked, floating above her. Pugsley was pulling at his feet, trying to get him to look at a black widow he caught recently.

“Oh, no,” Urbana said as she put away the milk, “It’s a family affair. I think it would be rude.”

“Ugh, come on, Urbana,” Beetlejuice groaned as Pugsley hung off of him a couple of inches from the ground.

“Who was that?” Tucker asked.

“No one,” Urbana said as she walked out of the kitchen.

Urbana and Tucker talked for a minute more then they hung up on each other. As she was climbing the stairs, Urbana noticed that Wednesday and Lydia were looking over the pictures Lydia took. Urbana decided to see how their little project was going before going back to her comic drawing.

“What’s the verdict ladies?” Urbana asked them as she entered the tearoom.

“I don’t like any of the photos I took,” Lydia said.

“They look fine to me,” Wednesday said.

“I don’t want it to look fine, I want it to look good or at the very least, great,” Lydia said as she deleted the photos off of her camera.

“Well, what are you used to taking photos of,” Urbana asked her.

“I mostly hang out in cemeteries during dusk or dawn and I take a lot of nature photos of dead things,” Lydia said, “I’m particularly proud of this one photo I took, when my dad went through his hunter phase, and I took a picture of a wolf eating out of the belly of a deer.”

Urbana nodded her head and said, “I see. So, you don’t stage a lot of photos.”

“…No,” Lydia said.

“Can I see your sketch book?” Urbana asked.

“Why do I need a sketch book,” Lydia asked.

“Okay… Every art form starts with sketches,” Urbana explained, “Even photographers have sketch books to plan out how they want their photos to turn out. At least, the stage photographers do.”

“Oh, that’s embarrassing,” Lydia said.

“Why is that embarrassing,” Wednesday asked.

“Yah, you just didn’t know,” Urbana agreed, “Nothing wrong with that.” Urbana then motioned them to follow her and said, “Come on. I have so many sketch books in my room, I can part with a least one for a fellow artist.”

“Thank you, Miss Des Moines,” Lydia said as she and Wednesday followed her up the stairs.

“Please. Just call me Urbana,” she said.

When Urbana opened her bedroom door, an unintentional scream escaped her throat as a hoard of spiders, with Beetlejuice’s face on them, crawled all over her room.

“Who’s no one, now,” the spider-beetlejuices said in unison.

“Beetlejuice,” Lydia scolded.

“Hey, Babes,” the spider-beetlejuices said.

“Don’t, hey, Babes, me,” Lydia said, “You have her in tears.”

Urbana put a shaking hand to her face. She didn’t realize she was crying. Wednesday clasped her hands around her other shaking hand. It was comforting.

With a huff, the spider-beetlejuices stacked and smooshed into each other and reformed back into his normal look, “She shouldn’t’ve called me a no one.” Then he sunk through the floor.

Urbana took a couple of deep breathes and with a smile said, “Now. About that sketch book.”

While she was rummaging through her stuff Lydia asked, “Um. Are you… Okay?”

Finding the sketch book Urbana handed it to Lydia with a big smile and said with a chipper tone, “I’m perfectly fine.”

“Liar,” Wednesday said.

Her smile twitched. Then Urbana asked Lydia, “Do you want to show me how you want your photo to turn out?”

“We’re not dropping this,” Lydia said, “Beetlejuice is my best friend. I want to understand why you two have been mean to each other.”

Urbana went over to her bed and sat down on it and looked at the two girls with a scowl, “Shouldn’t this be a question you’d want to ask him?”

“I can’t. Every time I do, he gets so upset that he ends up crying,” Lydia said, “He really hates the idea of being forgotten or left behind.”

Urbana felt needles of guilt prickle her heart, but she kept her scowl on.

“Will you at least let us hear your side of the story,” Wednesday asked.

Urbana tapped her lips with her index finger, faking thoughtfulness. As she kept doing that, as she got up from her bed, walked over to the secret door in her room that leads to the first floor, opened it, stepped through, then closed the door behind her, walking out of the conversation all together.

Wednesday then immediately reopened the door and Urbana ran way as the girls chased her around the house. Urbana couldn’t help but laugh and have fun, even though they were getting frustrated at her emotional avoidance. Eventually though, they had to stop chasing her because Lydia had to go home.

# # #

Urbana was riding in the Addams family car with Lurch at the wheel. Morticia, Wednesday, and Grandmama had decided to take her to the family tailor to get her, and themselves, an outfit for the family reunion. They also wanted to have a girl’s day out and Urbana did need a new dress or a suit to wear to perform in, so she didn’t say no to the idea.

“I think you’ll be meeting at least one of my sisters for the first time today,” Grandmama said, “If you haven’t already met them last year.”

“Oh, that’s nice,” Urbana said then asked, “How many sisters do you have?”

“Well, there’s the oldest sister Vesta. I also have a brother, Edward. Then next Zelda was born then Hilda, Hilda’s the one who owns the tailor shop, and Sophia. Sophia use to be the youngest until I came along,” Grandmama said, “So to answer your question, four.”

“That’s a pretty big family,” Urbana said.

“We tend to enjoy big families,” Morticia stated. Urbana thought she said that with a knowing smile.

“Zelda and Hilda live together, but Zelda works at the high school as a physics teacher,” Grandmama said, then added, “And my niece Sabrina lives with them too, but she may not be there today. She has such a busy social life.”

Urbana thought she heard Wednesday mumble, good, under her breath as they pulled up to a pretty normal looking three-story tall tailor shop. The display window was already showing Halloween decorations with two manikins, one dressed like a cartoonish devil and the other dressed as a cartoonish angel. Urbana thought the tailor shop looked cute.

Once the four of them were out of the car Lurch drove off to do whatever he wanted to do till they were done at the shop.

“I can’t wait to see what Hilda will have for us,” Morticia said as she walked into the shop with everyone following her in.

The building felt really fancy to Urbana like, sipping-expensive-champagne-while-you-get-fitted-for-your-gown, kind of fancy. With white walls gently decorated with a lace pattern, thee miniature chandeliers gave off the perfect amount of light needed to see by, a fitting room area covered by a red velvet curtain, three standing three-way mirrors, and the floor was made of a really dark type of wood. Any available space that was left over was for the clothes that were on display on the rolling racks.

“Fancy,” Urbana said.

“Thank you,” Hilda said as she walked down the stairs from behind the register counter, “I try.”

Urbana was expecting Hilda to look super old and wrinkly and maybe having to walk using a walker, but Hilda, with her flaming orange hair and bright smile, she looked at least forty if not fifty years old, while Grandmama looked like she’s a hundred years old.

“Joy, it’s so good to see you,” Hilda said as she walked around the counter and went up to Grandmama and hugged her.

While the three of them took turns hugging Hilda, Urbana decided to distract herself from the uneven age look by looking at the clothes. As she was doing that Urbana spotted a black cat and she immediately went up to the little guy and squatted in front of him.

“Well,” Urbana said in a whisper, “Aren’t you a handsome fellow.”

“I am. Aren’t I,” the black cat said.

Standing back up, Urbana said, “Nope.” Then she walked away.

The black cat ran in front of her and said, “Hey, now. You’re just going to complement a man then run away,” he chuckled then said, “How coy.”

“Are you flirting at me?” Urbana asked.

“Mmm, maybe,” the black cat said as he rubbed his side against her legs.

“Grandmama, I’m being harassed by a black cat,” Urbana cried out.

“Salem,” Hilda scolded, “Stop teasing the poor girl.”

“Oh, alright,” Salem said as he sauntered off with his tail in the air, “Since you asked so politely. I’ll see you around, sweetheart. I’ve got cat things to do.”

Urbana stared after him in annoyance as she added, sweetheart, to her mental list of Things People Have Pet Named Me.

“Don’t mind him, Dear,” Grandmama said as she went over and wrapped her arm around Urbana’s, “It’s not every day he gets to talk to new people.”

“He just happens to like teasing people, more than anything,” Morticia added, “And he’s running out of people who get riled up by him at this point.”

Hilda laughed and said, “Remember when he stole Madeline’s ghost detector?”

With a huge smile, Grandmama said, “I do.”

“I didn’t think it was funny at the time, “Morticia said with a slight frown, “Maddie worked hard on that trinket.”

“Anyways, before we find you four some new outfits for our family soiree, do you want to see how Wednesday’s quinceanera dress is coming along,” Hilda offered.

They all went upstairs and took a look at Wednesday’s quinceanera dress, which Urbana thought looked lovely, even though it was only half finished, then everyone went back downstairs to look over the different dresses and suits Hilda had on display.

While Urbana was looking around, she was also eavesdropping on Grandmama and Hilda’s conversation. They were talking about someone named Red. The way Grandmama talked about him it was like he was her child, which is likely. They were discussing the chances of Red showing up to the family reunion, and Grandmama was doubtful. Saying that the B.P.R.D. is a twenty-four-hour type of job. Urbana understood the feeling, her job as a waitress at Olive Garden isn’t technically, twenty-four-hour, but it sure can feel like it.

Urbana found a pretty, floor length, sleeveless, solid green dress. It looked pretty, so she decided to go try it on. As she got closer to the fitting room, she could hear Morticia and Wednesday talking to each other. Eventually, she heard them say her name. Urbana wandered what they were talking about her for, so she waited outside the fitting room, pretending to look at some close while they talked.

“But it’s so frustrating, Mom. She just refuses to talk to us about why she’s mad at him. I know Beetlejuice is annoying, but he honestly doesn’t seem that bad,” Wednesday said, “Lydia can’t get anything out of him either.”

“I think you and Lydia need to drop it, Honey,” Morticia said.

“Then how will it get better,” Wednesday said, “Urbana practically refuses to even see him.”

“I know Dear. It’s upsetting to see those two fighting. I sense a long history between them. Her resentment has long boiled over and now is covered in fungus and mold, while his is fresh, like a mud slide covering a road,” Morticia said.

“But why,” Wednesday said, “What happened?”

“Wednesday,” Morticia said, “You’re treating Urbana’s pain like one of your detective novels. This isn’t a mystery to solve. You don’t need to know what happened to help.”

Urbana wished she could talk to Beetlejuice like normal, like when she was little and had first met him. They always had the most fun conversations she’s ever had, and she misses them dearly; but going too far in harassing her bullies, hurting her father, being blamed for things she really didn’t do. No one was going to be mad at him on her behalf and she didn’t want to ruin Lydia’s friendship with him, even though he lied to her about not being able to show himself to people without the sight. Even though he was the reason she always felt so tired when she was younger. Urbana thought to herself how he probably only befriended her so he could steal her energy that she produced.

“I’m sorry, Mom,” Wednesday said.

“I know you are,” Morticia said, “I know you want to help, but I also know that solving the “mystery of her past” is a game to you too, whether you meant it to be or not. Just be patient. I’m sure they’ll resolve their differences eventually.”

Urbana walked into the fitting room with a smile on her face as she showed off the dress that she had picked out, asking them what they think about it.

After maybe, three hours, everyone had picked out their outfits for the family reunion and were getting ready to leave. Urbana was really happy that despite the expansive looking store, she still had affordable clothes.

“Thank you for coming here,” Hilda said, “I hope you’ll be able to visit again.”

“You too, Hilda,” Grandmama said, “Tell Sabrina and Zelda I said hi.”

“I will,” she said.

Then everyone got into the car and drove back home.

# # #

Urbana walked down to the first floor, taking a break from trying to memorize her songs for the reunion and studying for a test that she’ll be taking within the week. Urbana was walking to the kitchen to grab some tea while contemplating why she can’t memorize test knowledge like she can with song lyrics when someone knocked on the front door.

Urbana went over and opened the front door.

“Aunt Jane?” Urbana said as she saw her aunt standing in front of her, looking flashy as ever.

“Urbana!” Jane cheered as she smooshed Urbana into a hug, “It’s so good to see you.”

“I wish I could say the same,” Urbana replied, her face squished into her aunt’s bosom.

Theatrically gasping, Jane said, “Urbana, you’re so mean to me.”

Sighing, Urbana said, “That’s not what I meant, Aunt Jane, cause like, what are you doing here?” Urbana then noticed a suitcase sitting on the stoop behind her aunt, “Why do you have a suitcase? Did something happen back at your place?”

“Oh, nothing happened,” Jane said, “I’ve been invited to the family reunion.”

“By who!?”

“I was invited by Lurch,” Jane said, “Oh! Speak of the devil. Hello, Handsome!”

Jane walked past Urbana to go embrace Lurch, who looked pleased as punch that she was there. This was not what Urbana had in mind when she told her aunt to go find a man of her own. While Jane was talking at Lurch, Urbana reluctantly brought in her luggage.

The whole family was gathered in the kitchen while Grandmama was serving black iced tea. Jane was telling everyone about her trip and what she was doing at her job and how her relationships were with her neighbors, and a lot of gossip. It took Urbana an hour and a half to interject into the conversation.

“That’s all very nice, Aunt Jane,” Urbana said, “But why are you here so early? It’s not even October yet.”

“I’m here to spend time with my niece,” Jane said.

Skeptical, Urbana said, “That’s nice, Aunt Jane, but you’re allowed to say that you’re here to tap Lurch’s ass. You don’t have to cover it up with the notion of seeing family.”

Jane laughed heartily, “Lurch does have a nice ass, but I really do plan of spending some time with you.”

“Well, good luck,” Urbana said, “I have a lot of responsibilities that I have to take care of like school, my comic strip, Olive Garden…” Urbana then looked at the time on the kitchen stove and saw that she was going to be late for work.

Before rushing off she kissed her aunt on the forehead then ran away saying, “I’ve got to go!”

Urbana was reading _The Great Gatsby _for her second level English class, in the library, when Jane suddenly appeared from behind, giving her a surprise hug. Jane then kissed her on the top of her head.

“What are you reading,” Jane asked.

Urbana answered by showing her the book cover.

“They’re still teaching you the same reading material as when I was in school,” Jane said sounding disgusted, “That’s so boring.”

“Eh, it’s an okay read,” Urbana said.

“… So, do you still call Northampton, Newberry?” Jane asked with a giggle.

Urbana sighed heavily, “When will you leave me alone with that BS. I just call it Newberry out of habit now.”

“But it’s so cute,” Jane said as she squished her niece’s cheeks.

Urbana half-heartedly slapped away her aunt.

“What’s so cute,” Lydia asked.

“Hey, Lydia,” Urbana said, “I’ll get my camera and I’ll be with you shortly.”

While Urbana was packing up her homework, Jane said, “Oh, when Urbana and her parents moved to their new home, she use to have this cute little lisp as a kid, and she couldn’t pronounce Northampton. The closest she could get was saying Newberry.”

“How do you get Newberry from Northampton,” Lydia asked.

“I don’t know, but it was adorable,” Jane said as she got out her smartphone, “I actually have a recording of her saying it on my phone. Do you want to see it?”

“I want to see it,” Beetlejuice said, suddenly appearing out of nowhere.

Urbana rolled her eyes to herself as she shouldered her backpack.

“Uh, who are you?” Jane asked.

“That’s Beetlejuice. My best friend,” Lydia said.

“I agree with you that Urbana’s lisp was adorable,” Beetlejuice said, “Can I please see the video.”

Urbana was expecting her to reject his request but instead she said, “Okay, since you said please and since you agree with me that my niece is cute.” Then the two of them started watching the video together.

Lydia and Urbana left the library without another word. Before they walked out of ear shot, Urbana heard her aunt ask Beetlejuice if he used to live in Northampton.

After they were done taking photos in the woods and after Urbana escorted Lydia to her parents’ car, Urbana found her aunt sitting on the stoop looking grave. Urbana wondered what Beetlejuice told her or if she finally saw Thing.

“Aunt Jane? You okay?”

“That man was a ghost… I was talking to a literal dead man,” Jane said, “I saw him sink through the floor like it was quicksand.”

“Yah, he’s the only dead man I know who can tell tales,” Urbana said as she walked up the stairs, “If he says anything sexual or weird at you just reply with, rubber-blubber hooter-holler, then la-la-la away from him. I remember that always throwing him off his game when he tried to tease me as a kid.”

“I’m sorry, Urbana,” Jane said.

Urbana stood in front of her. “For what?”

“For not believing you. For not chastising my brother, for not believing you. I’m sorry for a lot of things,” Jane said with a sigh.

“Yah, well, I don’t want your apology, Aunt Jane,” Urbana said, “I don’t care that you didn’t believe me. You’ve always treated me the same way regardless.”

“Yah, but—”

“—Just keep being the same old loving, nosey, proud woman you’ve always been to me,” Urbana said before going inside, “I’ll see you at dinner.”

“Okay, love you,” Jane said.

“I love you too, Aunt Jane.” Then she closed the door on her aunt who staid outside for a little while longer.


	15. Halloween Family Reunion Part 2

Urbana Des Moines was sitting on her bed while her Aunt Jane was fixing her hair and Urbana was helping Gizmo pick out a tie for him to wear. When Jane finished breading her hair, Gizmo settled on a lime green tie.

“Oh, you look so pretty,” Jane said as she had her niece look at her.

Urbana was wearing a sequence orange-yellow dress, with the shape of the dress looking like a swing girl type dress. It made Urbana feel warm but left room for her legs to move when she would get time to dance.

“Thank you,” she said.

“Let me get a picture of you, for me to send to your father,” Jane said as she took out her phone. Then after getting a few photos Urbana’s phone started to ring for a conference face-time call.

“Alright, Aunt Jane, get out.”

“What? Why do you want me out?” Jane said, sounding mischievous.

“I don’t want you saying anything weird in front of my friends,” Urbana said as she was pushing her aunt out of her bedroom door.

“What could I possibly say,” Jane said.

“I don’t want you trying to set me up with any of them. They are all, already in a relationship,” Urbana lied.

“Okay, then what about their friends,” Jane asked, giggling.

“Shoo,” Urbana said before she closed the door on her aunt then quickly picked up her phone.

“Urbana!” Danny said, “You look great.”

“Orange looks good on you,” Sam said.

“You ready to sing,” Tucker asked.

“Are you nervous,” Jazz asked.

“Thank you, guys,” Urbana said, “and yah, I’m ready to sing. I’ll only be singing five songs. That’s all I managed to memorize and practice for.”

“Still, it’s impressive to have memorized five songs in three to four months,” Jazz said.

Urbana lowered her phone to her bed and let Gizmo show off his little bowtie, “Look how handsome he is tonight.”

“Absolutely adorable,” Danny said.

“Don’t forget to wear your gloves, okay,” Sam said.

Urbana slapped her forehead, “Right, thank you. Mom and Grandma Harp will be here tonight,” Urbana laid down her phone on her bed, then grabbed her metal gloves from her wardrobe then she repicked up her phone, “I’m so excited that they’ll be here.”

“Will your father be there,” Tucker asked.

“No… I didn’t think he’d want to be here,” Urbana said.

Jazz said, “I’m sorry to hear that.”

Urbana couldn’t help but think that maybe her father would have come, if she just asked.

“I should go guys,” Urbana said, “I need to do some last minute helping out with the band.”

“Okay. Good luck,” Danny said. Then Urbana hung up her phone and picked up Gizmo to rest on her shoulder. Then she walked downstairs to the crowed ballroom.

The ballroom was full of different people of all different shapes, sizes, and species, but it felt less overwhelming to Urbana and it felt more… homey somehow. Urbana then spotted Mr. and Mrs. Maitland dancing above the dancefloor with some other ghosts. Urbana yelled a greeting to them as she put on her metal gloves, and they floated down towards her.

As Urbana was shaking their hands, Mr. Maitland said, “The live band is just fab, no?” He sounded like a dad who was trying to sound cool in front of his child’s friends. It made Urbana smile.

“So fab,” Urbana said, “Are you two enjoying yourselves?”

“This party is boss and we’re having a gas, “Mrs. Maitland said, sounding more comfortable with the slang she was speaking.

“I’m glad to hear,” Urbana said.

Urbana’s aunt came up behind her and hugged her saying, “Who’re you talking to, Urbana?”

“Mr. and Mrs. Maitland, this is my Aunt Jane. Aunt Jane, these are Lydia’s friends who room with her and her parents,” Urbana said.

There was a long, and maybe awkward, pause as Urbana could feel her aunt strain to see the dead adults.

“I think… I think I can see them,” Jane said as she rubbed her eyes, “Your black dress looks good on you Mrs. Maitland.”

“Thank you,” she said, “But you can call me Barbara.”

“…Did she reply?” Jane asked.

Urbana repeated what Mrs. Maitland said.

“Oh, you’re welcome. I’m going to steal her away for a bit. Give her something to drink before she heads to the stage,” Jane said, “It was nice meeting you both.”

When they got to the refreshment table Jane said, “I think I really saw them, but you’ve introduced me to Reta and her little gang, but I couldn’t see them, but then I can see Beetlejuice just fine?”

“Well, he’s a much more powerful ghost than Reta or Mr. and Mrs. Maitland, but because it’s Halloween the line tends to blur between life and death. I’m told that the transition between spring and summer is also when normal people can see ghosts but it’s not as wide known as it is with Halloween night.”

“Urbana. Jane. There you two are,” Grandma Harp said.

Lighting up, Urbana cheered, “Grandma!” Then she took hold of her hands and said, “Look! I can hold your hand now.”

“Kathy?” Jane asked.

“Oh, she’s looking in my direction, is she able to see me?” Grandma Harp asked.

“Kind of,” Urbana said.

“What is she saying,” Jane asked.

Urbana explained and was a translator between them for a couple of minutes. It was nice. To Urbana, it was like picking up a threaded needle and connecting together things that were cut once before or were worn-thin. It made her think of her and her father and she wondered why it was so hard to pick up their threaded needle.

“Mom— Oh! Urbana, you look so beautiful,” Rosie said.

“Mom look,” Urbana said as she grabbed her mother’s hands.

Shock spread across her mother’s face, then Rosie lifted her daughter’s hands to her lips and kissed her gloved fingers, then she placed her daughter’s hand on her cheeks. “I’m so happy.”

“Rosie,” Jane said.

“Nice wig, Jane,” Rosie said, her voice filled with disdain. Urbana gave her mother the stink eye and was happy for once that only she could hear ghosts.

“There’s something I want to say to you that I regret never saying to you when you were alive,” Jane said.

Urbana and Rosie side glanced at each other.

She continued, saying, “Thank you for being in my brother’s life.”

Urbana was extremely shocked, and she was sure her mother was too. When her mother was alive, she could only ever remember her and her aunt arguing or fighting over one thing or another. Urbana always had the impression that her mother and aunt hated each other.

“You helped my brother, to have the strength to follow his dream, you and Kathy,” Jane said, “So, uh, thank you for that… He really misses you both.”

Rosie looked to Urbana and told her, “I guess the only common ground we have is that we love you and Bob, and I think that’s good enough.”

Urbana repeated her statement and Jane got a little misty eyed. Then, Olivia, one of the band members, spoke through a microphone and said, “Before our nights special, Morticia and Gomez Addams have an announcement they’d like to make.”

The two of them got onto the stage then Morticia said, “I’m pregnant.”

Everyone in the mansion cheered as Urbana screamed out, “What!”

“She’s been pregnant for six weeks now,” Gomez said over the cheering crowd.

“We haven’t used divination to determine whether they’ll be a boy or a girl,” Morticia said, “We’d like to keep it a surprise for as long as we can.”

“We hope you have a good rest of your night,” Gomez said before they walked off the stage.

Olivia then said, “Thank you for the announcement Gomez and Morticia. We wish you luck with your new baby,” Then she added, “Now let me introduce you all to our newest member of the band. She’ll be singing the next five songs. Get up here Urbana.”

“Bye guys,” Urbana said as she let go of her mother’s hands and handed Gizmo to her aunt, “I’ll see you around.”

Once Urbana was on stage Olivia went back to her place next to Layla.

Before announcing the song that she was going to sing Urbana asked, “What did the Invisible Man say to the monkey?” She paused for a second then said, “You can’t see this evil.”

A few people laughed and most of them clapped but there was one obnoxious laugher that Urbana knew was Beetlejuice’s laugh. It was like listening to a record player skip several times before continuing. It made Urbana smile a little more than she already was.

“We’ll be singing _Somebody's Watching Me_,” Urbana said.

Before every new song Urbana would tell a new joke and the crowd was more or less lukewarm about her jokes but she could always hear Beetlejuice’s laughter. In the dancing crowd she could see Lydia and Wednesday dancing with each other, and Urbana couldn’t help but think of how cute they were being together. Standing over to the side Urbana saw that her aunt was filming her performance on her phone.

After Urbana was done singing, she told the crowd that the band would take a ten-minute break before continuing. After turning off her microphone all of the band members showered her with complements and Urbana was starting to feel giddy from all of the complements.

“You guys did great too,” Urbana said as she specifically pointed out all of her favorite instrument parts in the songs she sang.

Lurch patted her head and Bree pinched her cheek. Then while the rest of the band went to get some food and drinks, Jane called over Lurch and Urbana’s attention.

“Stand together you two,” Jane told them, “I want a picture of you two together.”

Lurch placed a hand on her shoulder and Jane took a picture of them together.

“Do you want me to take a picture of you and Lurch, Aunt Jane,” Urbana asked.

“Oh, yes please,” Jane said as she handed Urbana her phone to her. Once they were posing together, she took a picture of them.

Handing back her phone, Urbana said, “I’m going to go find Mom and Grandma. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

“Same to you,” Jane shouted at her.

Then Urbana shouted back, “I remember your college stories! I ain’t that wild!” Then she ran off, laughing, before her aunt could get a word in edgewise.

As Urbana was looking for her mother and grandmother, Urbana came across Morticia and Gomez and she took the time to congratulate them on making another human being. Then she saw Fester and Pugsley taking turns throwing different kinds of small foods into each other’s mouths just for the heck of it. Not finding her dead relatives inside, Urbana went outside and saw that Grandmama was talking with Hilda, a green haired lady, and a seventeen-year-old looking, blond girl. Grandmama waved Urbana over.

Hilda said, “Oh, you look so good in that dress.”

“Thank you, Ma’am,” Urbana said.

“Hi, I’m Sabrina,” the blond girl said, “You’re the tenant that’s living with my aunt and my cousin’s family, right?”

Urbana nodded then said, “It’s nice to meet you, young lady.”

“Is she always this proper,” The green haired lady asked.

“Oh, hush, Zelda,” Grandmama said, “She’s just trying to be polite.”

“I’m not complaining, Joy,” Zelda said, “I just wish my students would be as proper as she is.”

“You’re a high school teacher, right,” Zelda nodded so Urbana continued, “Yah, high school sucked and I’m so glad to be in college. No one knows who you are and you’re an adult so you can do anything you want… That’s legal, of course.”

Zelda laughed, “I’m not suspecting you of anything.”

“Oh, there’s Wednesday,” Sabrina said, practically sparkling with joy, “I’m going to go hang out with her and her new friend.”

As Sabrina ran off, Urbana saw that Gizmo was running towards her through the dead grass. When she picked him up, he looked frantic and was pulling at her finger’s, telling her to go back inside.

“Uh, I have to go too,” Urbana told the three witch sisters, “I’ll see you guys around.”

“Have fun,” Grandmama told her as she jogged back inside.

When Urbana was back inside and was lead to the living room, she noticed that Beetlejuice was dressed up as a sexy frying pan, which would have made Urbana laugh at the sight of him, if it wasn’t for the fact that her mother was about to clock him in the face. Urbana ran up to the two ghosts as quickly as she could, but Rosie managed a right hook into Beetlejuice’s face, and he fell to the ground like spilled pudding.

“Mom! Stop! What are you doing?!”

Beetlejuice gasped and asked, “Are you defending me Toots?”

Urbana stood between Beetlejuice and her mother, her back was towards Beetlejuice as she faced her mother’s wrath.

“Please don’t talk right now,” Urbana asked him.

“Move Urbana,” Rosie said, fire and fury burning in her eyes, “I’m going to punch him for every time you told me he did something, and I didn’t believe you.”

“Please don’t,” Urbana said.

“And why not,” Rosie said, “He helped make your early childhood miserable. Why shouldn’t I beat his flabby little ass.”

“Because it won’t help anything and he’s not about to let you beat him up easily,” Urbana answered.

“Good,” Rosie said, “It’s not a real fight if he doesn’t.”

“Damn, I forgot how much of a blood thirsty fighter your Mom is,” Beetlejuice said.

“I’m serious. Stop talking,” Urbana warned him again.

“Why are you defending him in the first place,” Rosie asked, “Aren’t you mad at him for being blamed for hitting your father in the dick, for setting your classmates backpacks on fire, for egging our neighbor’s houses?”

“Well, to be honest Mom, I think I told you that I did that house egging thing _with_ him not that I got blamed for it,” Urbana said.

“I’m going to kick him so hard in the balls that it’ll be like he’s reverse deep throating himself,” Rosie said.

Urbana placed her gloved hands on her mother’s shoulders and said, “Mom. I _am_ mad at him for all of the different stuff he did, but I don’t want to see him get hurt either. I care about you both. Please Mom. Just walk away from this. I can handle this on my own.”

Rosie took a deep breath and she closed her eyes. Then she turned her back to them both and said to Beetlejuice, “You’re a _very _lucky man,” Then she said to Urbana, “I’ll talk to you later when I’ve cooled down.”

Once Rosie was gone Urbana turned around and asked, “Are you alright?”

“I am now that you saved me, Toots,” Beetlejuice said. He tried to give her a hug thinking they’re on good terms again, but Urbana quickly dodged him, and her concern turned into annoyance.

“Don’t _touch_ me,” Urbana told him.

“But—”

“No,” She said, “Just because I care doesn’t mean I’m not still mad,” Then before stomping off she added, “I like your costume. It’s hilarious.”

Urbana walked up to the second floor and Gizmo tugged at one of her braids on her head.

“Woops. Sorry I forgot you were on me. Thanks for bringing me to them,” Urbana said, “That could have gotten messy.”

Gizmo patted her neck.

Looking around Urbana saw that there were a lot of people on the second floor, and she noticed that people were playing different card games in each room. Urbana looked into one room and saw a handful of werewolves playing Poker. Another room contained people dressed as Wizard of Oz witches playing Texas Hold’em. Urbana wasn’t sure if they really were witches or not, but they seemed to be having fun. They were betting using chips; some had regular potato chips, others had Dorito chips, and one person had a bag of cotton candy flavored chips they were using for their betting money. Then Urbana found a room that Thing was in and he was the dealer for the Blackjack table.

“Oh, hey Thing,” Urbana said.

Thing waved at her from the middle of a green visor.

“Sorry to bother you everyone,” Urbana said.

The three other adults that were playing were a sexy-looking fish lady, a Quasimodo looking fellow, and a ghost woman who looked like she died during fashion height of the 1990’s.

“Sup,” ghost woman said, “Care to join us?”

“I don’t have any chips on me,” Urbana said.

The Quasimodo guy waved away her concern and said, “Well just give you some of our winnings then.”

“Okay then,” Urbana said as she took a seat, “I haven’t played Blackjack since I was a little kid, can you guys give me a refresher on the rules?”

The three other adults gave Urbana some of their chips and she was reminded of how to play the game. She played Blackjack there for about an hour or two, winning against everyone pretty hard, before her mother found her and apologized for her outburst. Then for the rest of her night she spent her time hanging out with her mother and grandmother and danced with her aunt. Overall, it was a good night for her.

# # #

The next morning Urbana was giving her aunt a kiss goodbye and wishing her well.

“Thank you, Urbana,” Jane said, “It was nice spending time with my favorite gal. Good luck with your end of term tests.”

“Thanks, but I don’t need luck. I have hard work,” Urbana said, half asleep.

“Do you work today,” she asked.

Urbana nodded.

“Well, be sure to get some rest. You were up since two in the morning,” Jane said.

Lurch came into the entrance hall to say goodbye and Jane went over and gave him a peck on the lips. Urbana, too tired to make I’m-disgusted groans, rolled her eyes with a slight smile on her face.

“Thanks for inviting me handsome,” Jane told Lurch.

Lurch have Jane a big smile. He then picked up the rest of her luggage and helped her out the door.

“They’re so cute together,” Fester said, suddenly appearing and making Urbana jump and screech.

Taking a moment to catch her breath, Urbana said, “I guess. I’m fine with it as long at Aunt Jane doesn’t try and use this as an “example” for me to “follow”.”

Fester laughed in understanding, “I remember being your age and my mother would always pester me into finding a boyfriend to turn into a husband so that she could have grandchildren.”

“You were nineteen and you were already being pressured to have kids?” Urbana asked.

“Yah,” he said.

“But that’s so young. I personally think that being thirty is a good time to get married and have kids,” Urbana said.

“Well, my oldest sister, Adoncia, was born when our mother was sixteen years old,” Fester said.

“Oh, God, that’s too young,” Urbana said as they started walking towards the kitchen together and she asked, “How old is your mother now?”

“She’ll turn sixty-nine soon,” Fester said.

“Congratulations to her then,” Urbana said.

“You know, when I changed my name, I don’t think the act of changing it was what upset my mama and papa. I think what upset them both, the most, about it was that I didn’t change my name to start with an “I” like when I had my female name.”

They entered the kitchen and Urbana started making herself chamomile tea to help her take a nap before going to work. Then she said, “Did your parents have a theme or something?”

“Each of us were named after the letter of the alphabet; Adoncia, Benjamín and Carlitos, Dulce, and so on,” Fester said.

Urbana chuckled as she placed her cold drink in the microwave then said sarcastically, “Oh, no. What a travesty. How _dare_ you mess with such a delicate system.”

“Come here you,” Fester said as he hooked his arm around Urbana’s neck and started giving her a noogie.

Both of them were laughing as Urbana struggled to get out of his grasp before the buzzer on the microwave went off. Urbana managed to push him off of her as the microwave dinged.

She took out her drink and said, “I’ll see you tomorrow Fester.”

“Stay safe,” Fester told her as she left, and he started making himself a sandwich.


	16. Quinceanera Betrayal Turned Reconcile

It was November, and Urbana Des Moines was lucky enough to have one of her rare days off on the day of Wednesday’s quinceanera. Gomez and Fester’s mother, all seven of their siblings and their children managed to make it to the quinceanera. Wednesday also invited her friend Lydia and Lydia brought along her friends, Bertha and Prudence, and of course, Beetlejuice. A mariachi band played their music in the background of the party.

It was a packed house and it was making Urbana feel tired since it was only two weeks ago since the Addams family reunion and she was still recovering from the social interaction, and especially because it’s her first day off from work since the reunion. Urbana was sipping on horchata, while Hector, the second youngest child out of the nine siblings, was talking to her completely in Spanish. The only Spanish Urbana knew was, ayudame, holla and adios, gracias and de nada, and si and no. Dora the Explorer could only teach her so much. She was starting to think that her mandatory foreign language class that she’s going to have to take next year will have to be Spanish.

Gomez came over and placed an arm around Urbana’s shoulders, said something in Spanish to his little brother, then he led her away.

“You look positively exhausted, Urbana,” Gomez said then asked, “Are you feeling okay?”

“I just wish I knew what he was saying,” Urbana said into her horchata.

“He wasn’t saying much,” Gomez said, “He was only messing with you for the fun of it.”

“Welp. Nothing I’m not use to,” Urbana said.

They walked past Morticia and Valentina, Gomez and Fester’s mother, talking to each other while they were snacking on crackers covered in cream cheese and jalapeño jelly. Lurch, Fester, and Pugsley were playing with the little kids together, and Grandmama was talking with Adoncia and the twins Benjamín and Carlitos.

“Are you taking me somewhere specific or are we just walking around randomly,” Urbana asked him.

“I thought you could use some time to yourself without actually having to leave the party,” Gomez said, “Since I know your tired, but you want to celebrate Wednesday’s special day with us too, right?”

Urbana nodded.

Gomez talked to everyone that came up to them while Urbana slightly leaned on him. It reminded Urbana of when she was little, and her parents would invite their friends over for dice and beer and she would sit on her mother’s or father’s lap while they were talking and doing adult stuff.

One of the little nephews of Gomez and Fester came up to her holding a little paper plate and he was holding out a spoon full of what looked like sloppy joe meat, but with green olives in it and it smelled extremely spicey. Urbana thought it had to be a trap, he looked old enough to want to think about pranking people, but Urbana didn’t want to be rude either, so she took a bite from the spoon he was offering. It was spicy and the meat kind of made her gag, but overall, it wasn’t bad. The kid looked disappointed.

“What’s he eating,” Urbana asked Gomez.

“Picadillo. Why?” he said.

“Is there a salad version of this? Because the flavor is good, but I don’t like the texture,” Urbana said, finally swallowing her bite.

Gomez said something to the kid in a gruff disappointed tone, in Spanish, and shooed away the kid who ran away laughing, “You didn’t have to eat that.”

Urbana shrugged, “I didn’t want to be rude.”

The music the mariachi band was playing changed, and everyone that wasn’t close to the stairs walked over so that they could watch Wednesday walk down in her quinceanera dress while her friends walked down behind her. Wednesday’s dress was pure black with shiny black beads decorated in swirling patters across her dress and the skirt part was puffed out like her bottom half was now a cupcake. Wednesday’s black hair was down and looked wavy from having her hair always in pigtail braids. She looked so cute and pretty.

Sniffling and rubbing his eyes, Gomez said, “She’s so beautiful.”

Morticia came over to them and kissed her husband on the cheek, “You’re doing great, Dear.”

“I promised her I wouldn’t cry,” Gomez said as he hugged his wife, “Our kids are growing up so fast.”

While patting his back she said, “I know.”

Wednesday walked over to them and said, “Dad, do you want a hug?”

Wiping at his face, he said, “Hold on. I don’t want to get your dress dirty. Your Grand Aunt Hilda worked hard on it for you.”

The two of them hugged each other. When they stopped hugging, Valentina went up to the father and daughter duo and said, “Let us do the Final Doll, shall we?”

Lydia came up and gave Wednesday an old doll Urbana has seen before in her room. It’s the one that looks like a voodoo doll and it has its head chopped off. They all moved back into the living room. Wednesday, doll in hand stood before a group of ten female cousins while her older cousins, all of the boys and the adults stood to the side. Then like how you would see a bride throwing a bouquet of flowers over her head after a wedding, Wednesday threw the old doll to her younger female cousins who haven’t had their fifteenth birthday yet. They all scrambled for it, but the littlest cousin got to it first and there was a lot of cheering. Then Valentina went up to her granddaughter and handed her a porcelain doll that looked really old and had to be a family heirloom.

Urbana was going to asked why this was a thing but then Grandmama started cutting up the cake that she made and she made it with buttercream and confetti cake and Urbana got so excited by the concept of eating that cake that she forgot to remember to ask.

Urbana was sitting by herself, while everyone around her were talking to themselves, when Wednesday and Lydia went up to her.

“Hey girls, you having fun?” Urbana said.

“I’m still unwrapping presents,” Wednesday said.

“The food’s really good,” Lydia said.

“Good,” Urbana said through a mouth full of cake.

“Hey, can we show you something,” Wednesday asked.

“Can I get another slice of cake first,” Urbana asked.

“Yes,” Lydia said.

While Urbana was eating her second slice of cake, Wednesday and Lydia lead Urbana upstairs to the library. Before entering the library, Urbana noticed that there was a line of salt on the floor. It was kind of weird. Once she was inside the library, she saw that Beetlejuice was also there, holding his own cake but it was covered in pill bugs like they were sprinkles.

“So, what did you kids—”

The double doors to the library slammed closed behind her and she was alone in the library with Beetlejuice. Urbana went over to try the door, but it was locked.

“Girls, this isn’t funny,” Urbana said in a warning tone.

“You know what’s also not funny,” Wednesday said, “The fact that the people we care about can’t make up like the adults that they are.”

Jiggling the doors Urbana said, “You can’t force this on us.”

Beetlejuice timidly cleared his throat and said, “I’ll just leave. They can’t force you to stay in here if I’m gone.”

Beetlejuice then did a swan dive into the floor only to face plant into it, crinkling up, and then unfurling like an accordion. The accordion sound even came out of him as his crinkled body flopped side to side.

“Oh god. Are you okay?” Urbana asked him.

A suction noise emanated from him as he pulled his face up off the floor. His face was as flat as the bottom of a frying pan. He then put his thumb in his mouth, blew hard to the point where his face bulged out like a balloon then his face deflated back to normal.

“Nice try, Beetlejuice, but we put a ghost ward around the room,” Lydia said, “We’ll come back for you two after two hours.”

“There’s no way you two can’t talk to each other for two hours,” Wednesday said.

Then Urbana heard them walk away. Urbana continued to eat her cake, but she made an effort to eat her cake as angrily as possible. Snapping his fingers, Beetlejuice was able to salvage his cake he splattered on the ground. Urbana could feel his unease and worry, which just annoyed Urbana.

She put down her plate, took a couple of steps back, took a deep breath, then ran at the door at full force hoping to ram it open with her shoulder. Instead she painfully bounced off the door and fell to the floor, and she thought she felt or heard something pop in her shoulder.

“Feel better?” Beetlejuice asked as he floated above her.

“No.”

“Yah. Figured not.” He then took a final bite out of his cake.

“Oh my god, could you just give me some fucking space,” Urbana said as she wiped away his crumbs that were falling on her face.

“Damn, fine Toots.” He then floated away to go sit sideways in an upholstered chair.

Urbana sat up then raised her right arm, making sure she was able to do it, which she was able to, but she hit the door pretty hard so she figured that she was going to bruise. She then got up and decided to go through all of the books, just to see if there was a secret door in the room.

“Hey. What are you doing?” Beetlejuice asked from his seat.

She told him her plan.

“You really think there’s a secret door in the Library?”

“Along with Colonel Mustard and the candle stick,” she said.

Urbana was glad that her back was turned to him because he laughed way too hard at her stupid little joke and his laughter was making her smile and she didn’t want to smile.

Catching his breath, he said, “Alright. I’ll look too.”

Together they pulled back books seeing if they were a secret switch to opening a door for Urbana to get out. All the while, Urbana could feel that Beetlejuice was trying to figure out what to say to her. She always wondered why she could tell how people felt, living people were harder for her to read unless she’s been with them for at least a week, but she could always read the dead like an open book no matter how long she’s been around them. Then there’s Gizmo. Even though the little creature can’t talk, she can always tell what he’s saying to her without any real trouble.

“You know,” Beetlejuice said, “I’m proud of them. They took our trust in them and fully took advantage of it to do something that they think would do some good.”

“…How did they get you in here?”

“Lydia said that Wednesday wanted some pictures taken in the library with all her friends together and I was going to help take the picture.”

Urbana nodded her head. Then she spotted an interesting looking book. Taking it out all of the way the title read, _World’s Grossest History_. In the index there was a chapter on the Black Plague, a chapter in medical experiments gone wrong, and even a chapter on a compilation of stranded people doing cannibalism.

Beetlejuice placed a hand on her shoulder to see what she was reading and instinctively Urbana quickly spun around and slapped him in the face with the book.

“Will you stop trying to touch me,” Urbana demanded of him.

“When did every physical thing I try to engage with you, always end up being sexual for you,” Beetlejuice asked, sounding hurt, “I’m a scary creep, not a pedophile… even if some people like to depict me as one.”

“What? No, I don’t think you’re being sexual. I just know that you’re trying to steal away my energy. I’m already too tired for that shit from dealing with normal people,” Urbana said.

Beetlejuice looked confused.

“Seriously? Don’t act dumb. We both know I’m a living ghost battery,” Urbana said, “That’s why I look like I glow to the dead. Why I have to wear special gloves to hold my dead mother’s hands. Why—”

“Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on,” Beetlejuice said, “Your mother’s dead?”

“You literally just met her two weeks ago.”

“No. I know I did. I just thought that your mother had finally developed her ghost abilities, only being a late bloomer, because you could always touch me no matter what I did. Plus, it was Halloween and I was making myself visible for everyone to see me, on purpose,” he said. Then asked, “How did you find out that you could give energy to the dead?”

“Oh, so you’re admitting that you kept it a secret from me so you could continue using me as your personal source of energy. Just like how you kept it a secret from me that you could show yourself to people.”

Beetlejuice grabbed at his face, beneath his eyeballs and pulled down hard as he sighed. Then he said, “Okay. Yes. I could have told you when you were younger, but I was never using you as an energy source.”

Urbana could tell that he was telling her the truth, but she was too upset to believe him.

“So, you’re telling me, that when I was a child, your personality was what made me tired and not the fact that you were leaching energy out of me like a tick,” Urbana said.

“It was also, probably, the fact that you were hanging out in a graveyard surrounded by all kinds of ghosts,” Beetlejuice said.

Urbana groaned and walked away from him so she could look out a window.

“I promise, Urbana. I have never just taken energy from you,” Beetlejuice said.

Again, Urbana could tell he was telling the truth, but the “just” made her suspicious.

“I’ll prove it. Just touch my hand,” Beetlejuice said.

Urbana looked over her shoulder to look at him. He had his hand out flat like he was getting ready to feed a horse a sugar cube and he didn’t want his fingers to get chomped on. Even his neon red long nails looked like they somehow rescinded. She remembered how her mother use to take her energy, it was slow and unnoticeable at first then she ended up taking more and more with each touch. Urbana figured that touching him once after not being in physical contact with each other in years won’t hurt.

With a sigh, she put her hand on top of his and she waited for a moment. She felt that pulling sensation that she’s felt back when her mother first died, but then she also felt a pooling sensation. Urbana realized that he was giving energy back. It was like they were making a lazy boy stream of energy together.

“How are you doing that,” Urbana asked him.

“Practice, patience, and a lot of time,” Beetlejuice said.

“Why would you take the time to even do this,” Urbana asked.

Beetlejuice took his hand back and said, “You’re not the first living person to have the abilities that you do.”

“Really,” Urbana said, sounding hopeful, “Are they still alive? Do you think that they’re close by?”

“Last time I talked with her, I was two hundred years dead and I’m now six hundred years dead. I’m pretty sure she’s dead, and may be lost to the Netherworld by now,” Beetlejuice said.

“Oh.”

“Are we good now,” Beetlejuice asked.

“What?”

“Like can we be friends again now,” Beetlejuice asked.

“No! Why are you trying so hard to be friends with me again, Beetlejuice,” Urbana said, “We’ve hurt each other so much. I abandoned you for a reason.”

“I miss you. I miss hanging out with you and having our strange conversations and stuff like that,” Beetlejuice said.

“What about Lydia,” Urbana asked.

“She’s fun and I enjoy her company and we watch scary movies with each other, but the other day I asked her why a hippopotamus would wear a mustache and she thought I was trying to make a joke instead of starting a conversation,” Beetlejuice said.

Urbana scoffed and said, “Well obviously a hippo would wear a mustache because they’re running from the hippo police, because they made a deal with some poachers to give up their people in exchange for their life.”

Beetlejuice had a big smile on his face, and he looked teary eyed then he said, “That. I missed that.”

Urbana didn’t want to admit it to him, but she missed the conversations too.

“I still don’t think we should be friends again. I’m not about to forgive you for what you did, and I don’t expect you to forgive me for how I’ve been treating you since we reunited and for abandoning you. We should just go about the rest of our days hating each other,” Urbana said.

“I don’t hate you.”

Urbana crossed her arms over her chest and looked away from him.

“And I know you don’t hate me,” Beetlejuice said, “And do you know why I know you don’t hate me?”

Urbana thought that this was going to be good, then she asked, “Why?”

“Because I read your comic,” Beetlejuice said with a big, proud smile.

Urbana didn’t say anything. She knows that she based her comic on her youth with Beetlejuice, but she made her self-insert character have a different personality than her and therefore the story’s flow and tone are different.

Continuing he said, “In the beginning you started off your story with you and my self-insert at odds with each other, but then they grow to be friends. You obviously started out your story on a rocky relationship because you still felt at odds with your relationship with me. Then as you progressed your story your hope for a better relationship showed through your work as your characters worked through their troubles and have become a kick-butt duo.”

“I’ve never known you to be the analytic type, Beetlejuice.”

“I am when I try to be and especially when it comes to the people I care about,” he said.

“So… what now? I still don’t plan on apologizing to you,” Urbana said.

“That’s fine. Don’t apologize. I want you to _not_ apologize. You’re finally taking a stand on something,” Beetlejuice said.

Now it was Urbana’s turn to be confused.

“What do you mean?”

“Besides me, whenever the world kicked you, you have always just rolled over to take it. That’s what you’ve done with your parents. That’s what you’ve done with those school bullies and I bet you’re still doing it now with your job and school,” Beetlejuice said, “I was sick of seeing you bleed for others when they gave you the minimalist amount of affection. So I acted out… Granted, based on what your mother said and her reaction, I guess I did go too far on some things.”

“Oh, you think?” Urbana said sarcastically.

“I won’t apologize for it though, but I promise, from now on, I’ll only act when you ask me and I’ll let you lay down the rules for what you want done,” Beetlejuice said.

Urbana extended her hand for him to shake and she said, “Okay.”

He took her hand and said, “It’s a deal then. Friends?”

With a small smile she said, “Friends.”

Beetlejuice tried to hug her again, but she dodged him and said, “I still don’t feel like hugging you right now.”

“Alright then, what do you feel like,” Beetlejuice asked.

“Like getting revenge on Wednesday and Lydia,” she said.

Beetlejuice gasped with giddy delight, “I never thought I’d hear you say that.”

“Two rules though. One, we can’t do anything that’ll dirty their outfits on purpose. Two, no scaring them. They’re both too hardened by horror for jump scares and the like to really be affect,” Urbana said.

Both of them thought for a moment.

“I have an idea,” Beetlejuice said.

An hour and a half later Wednesday and Lydia came back to the library so they could let their friends out. When they lifted the ghost ward and opened the door, they entered the room to find that it was upside down and Urbana and Beetlejuice were nowhere in sight.

“Guy’s?” Lydia called out and they heard an echo.

Wednesday then walked forward to find that the upside down library was actually just a realistically painted curtain and through the curtain they saw a maze of mirrors. They could see Beetlejuice and Urbana’s reflection somewhere in it.

“Beetlejuice, what did you do?” Lydia said as she walked into the maze with Wednesday following behind her.

All the while the real Beetlejuice and Urbana suck out behind them and left them to chase Beetlejuice’s shape shifting clones. Once they were far enough away the two of them busted out laughing.

“The look of sheer confusion on their faces was priceless,” Urbana said.

“They’re going to be lost in there for hours,” Beetlejuice cackled.

“Yah, but we’ll let them out after an hour,” Urbana said.

“Of course,” Beetlejuice agreed, “I hope there’s still cake left over.”

“I want to try that jalapeño jelly stuff,” Urbana said as she walked down the stairs with Beetlejuice floating behind her.


	17. A Big Brother and Friends Visit

It was December and Urbana Des Moines was driving home from work after having to stay late because someone decided to quit working at Olive Garden after a week. As she was pulling into the front yard of the mansion, Urbana saw that the living room lights were on. She didn’t see any other vehicles around so she couldn’t think of any other reason why they’d be up so late if there wasn’t a visitor.

Urbana quietly opened the front door to hear the sound of the Addams family talking with three strangers; two men and one woman by the sound of it. Too exhausted to meet new people, and needing the sleep so she can focus on her four online tests that she needs to take for the end of the semester, Urbana decided to just sneak past them and if they’re gone in the morning then that’s fine by her.

Urbana was working her way up the stairs when Grandmama called out, saying, “Late day at work, Dear?”

“Yah. Somebody quite working there… Again,” Urbana said.

“What’s with people and that restaurant,” Fester said, “It’s like they don’t want to work.”

“It’s also possible that it sucks to work there and the people quitting aren’t desperate for money,” Urbana said.

“Why don’t you come down here and meet my big brother and his friends,” Morticia asked.

“No offence, but no thank you. I don’t want to see hide or tail of another person until tomorrow,” Urbana said.

Gomez and Fester started laughing.

Urbana groaned then asked, “Do one of them have a tail and/or hide?”

A soft baritone voice said, “That would be me.”

They were still laughing when Urbana said, “Good to know… Oh, stop laughing! It’s not that funny.”

The Addams family wished her good night and she wished them good night too.

The next morning, with laptop in hand and Gizmo on shoulder, Urbana walked down to the kitchen so she could eat and take her tests at the same time before having to go to work. Once she entered the kitchen, she saw a young adult woman who looked at least twenty-five years old, with brown-orange hair and she was lighting a cigarette by her on-fire thumb. She saw a fish man with pretty black and blue scales eating an omelet at the table next to Fester and Morticia. Finally, she saw a big red man in a trench coat, one hand was bigger than the other and looked like it was made of stone and Pugsley was playing with his tail while he was talking with Wednesday. On top of his head was a fiery crown placed between two long curved horns.

“Good morning, Dear,” Grandmama greeted, “Would you like your tofu omelet?”

“Yes, please,” Urbana said as Gizmo jumped down from her shoulder to the kitchen table to eat some jellied toast.

“Urbana,” Pugsley said gleefully, “Meet our Uncle Red.”

Pugsley was pulling at his tail and Red said, “Woah, now. The tail’s attached kid.”

When Urbana’s eyes met with Red’s orange eyes, Urbana felt like she could see deep within him and see all of the important parts of his life, from his child hood, to his struggles, to his compassion and rage, to the loss of his father and it was all very overwhelming. She felt faint as her vision turned red.

“I gotcha,” Gomez said as he supported her back.

Urbana felt her grip slip on her computer and the loud thunk of metal hitting wood snapped Urbana out of it.

“Ah! My computer,” Urbana said as she hastily picked up her computer and inspecting it and opened it to make sure it was alright and would turn on. The computer was fine, but Urbana wasn’t sure if she was.

“Are you alright,” the fish man asked her.

“You don’t look so good Dear,” Morticia said, “Maybe you should rest some more.”

“Oh, I’m fine,” Urbana said, “I don’t know what happened, but I’m fine.”

Urbana then extended her hand out to Red and said, “Nice to meet you sir.”

“You can also call me Hellboy,” he said as he shook her hand with his rock hand.

Urbana wasn’t the only one that felt what she just went through. When Hellboy faced her, it was like she managed to reach a hand into his heart and touch his soul. It wasn’t painful, but it felt off and he didn’t like it. He kept it to himself though and he planned on telling his friends and mother about it later.

“What are your names,” Urbana asked the fish man and fire woman.

“I’m Abe,” the fish man said, “Nice to meet you.”

Urbana nodded at him then she turned to the fire lady who was getting up to smoke outside and she said, “Name’s Liz.”

She then stepped outside so she could smoke.

“Nice to meet you all. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some tests to take before I have to go to work,” Urbana said to everyone.

As Urbana ate and worked on her tests she found out that Hellboy, Abe, and Liz came over from the B.P.R.D. as soon as they could when they found out that Morticia was pregnant again and that they plan on staying till the end of the month and then moving on to visit Maddie and her family in Amity Park during January.

Finally finishing her tests, Gizmo hopped onto her arm and climbed to her shoulder as she closed her laptop and said her farewells to everyone before she went back upstairs to get dressed for work.

It was another long day for Urbana as she drove through the light snow fall as the waxing moon made everything look glossy. As she pulled up into the front yard, she spotted Hellboy in her head lights. He was smoking on a cigar as the snow softly clung to him, making him look sparkly. The fiery crown on his head seemed unaffected.

Urbana got out of her car and when she was standing in front of him, she asked, “What are you doing up so late? It’s 12:30am.”

“I’m a night owl anyways, besides, we need to talk about what happened yesterday morning,” he said putting out his cigar.

Urbana couldn’t help but feel nervous, like she’s done something wrong but she calmed herself down and brushed away the snow next to him so she could sit beside him.

“Has that happened to you before, because that was weird for me,” Urbana said.

“Can’t say it’s happened to me before. Maybe something similar, but ultimately what happened yesterday morning felt more intimate. I can’t explain it any other way,” Hellboy said.

“Yah,” Urbana agreed.

They were silent for a minute or two. Urbana took the time to enjoy the scenery, looking at how the moon light made the dark trees contrast against the sparkling snow was really beautiful to her as everything was muffled and serene.

Breaking the silence, Urbana said, “I hope I’m not being insensitive about this or anything, but I give you my condolences for the loss of your father. I know how hard it is to lose a parent, especially when you weren’t ready for them to go.”

“Thank you,” Hellboy said, “Mother told me you have a way with ghosts.”

“I don’t know about that,” Urbana said, “Ghosts are just people and people are just people and I just think they miss being alive is all.”

“That’s kind of you to say,” Hellboy said as he took another cigar out of the inside of his trench coat.

“You know, we haven’t had the séance yet this month, and I’ll be able to participate that night,” Urbana said, “If you call your father, I can help you talk with him again.”

“Thank you,” Hellboy said as he got out his lighter and lit his cigar, “But no thank you. I can see ghosts and ghouls just fine on my own, but I think it’s better to leave him be. I’m not like my sisters, who either want to study ghosts or befriend them. I think the dead should be left alone.”

Urbana chuckled then said, “Well that’s rude of you.”

Hellboy gave Urbana a sideways glance.

Continuing she said, “You may be done with the dead, but that doesn’t mean the dead will be done with you.”

“You do realize that what you just said was super ominous,” Hellboy said after taking a drag of his cigar.

“Yah, but I think it just sounds ominous because people are afraid of dying… Can I try what you’re smoking?” Urbana asked him.

Hellboy handed her his cigar then asked her, “So you’re not afraid of dying then?”

“No. I’m afraid to die, but I think my fear of dying is like the fear a child has when they see their mother have a new hair cut or when they’re use to their mother being rounder and they decide to lose weight. That kind of fear,” Urbana said. Then she took a drag of the cigar and immediately started coughing up a lung.

Hellboy took back his cigar chuckling and asked, “Wrong pipe?”

“Wrong everything,” Urbana said between her coughs, “Ugh, happy birthday to me.”

“Today’s your birthday,” Urbana nodded, and he said, “Happy Birthday then.”

“Thanks,” Urbana said, reigning in her coughing.

After he took a drag of his cigar, Hellboy said, “So, you’re afraid of the change that death creates?”

“Yah, and I find it funny that we need and crave change as people, but when we never want that change, like death, it can be scary, mainly because it can be unknowable, but for me it’s because I know I won’t be the same person I was when I’m alive,” Urbana said.

Hellboy finished off his cigar then he stood up on his cloven hooves and said, “Come on. You’re cold, aren’t you? Let’s get inside.”

“I’ll be right behind you,” Urbana said as she took off her shoes, “I just want another moment to enjoy how beautiful it is tonight.”

“By taking off your shoes?”

“Don’t judge me, your majesty,” Urbana said sarcastically, “I like the feeling of fresh snow between my toes okay.”

Hellboy shrugged as he went in first while Urbana breathed in the night air and let the snow crunch beneath her sore feet. Then she went inside.

# # #

It was 10pm and Urbana had finished drawing her third comic for her _Careless Whispers_ series. Looking out of her bedroom window she could see frost was climbing up and around the glass and Gizmo seemed restless as he jumped lazily on her bed bedside her.

Putting down her pencil she said to Gizmo, “Come on. Let’s take a walk around the lake before I go to bed. It’s such a beautiful night.”

Gizmo purred excitedly as he can rarely go outside considering it can be mostly wet and half of the time, sunny.

Urbana slapped on an overcoat, slipped on some shoes, then she picked up Gizmo who climbed up her arm then climbed over her coat collar to sit warm next to her neck on her shoulder.

“Comfortable,” she asked him, and he purred happily.

Urbana, humming that song she’s forgotten the lyrics to, walked down the stairs to the first floor and she planned on cutting through the kitchen to go out its side door but then she noticed that someone was in the living room. Thinking she should at least say hi to them Urbana went over to the living room to see Abe was reading a thick book by the firelight of the fireplace.

Urbana couldn’t help but think how pretty he looked with the way the firelight danced on his scales and the intense shadows contrasting against his slim body. Urbana had the intense need to draw him, but she was taking a break from doing any kind of art after finishing three comic strips, so she opted out for just telling Abe how beautiful he was.

“Oh, uh, thank you,” Abe said then he looked around and asked, “What time is it?”

“It’s probably 10:15pm by now,” Urbana answered.

Abe closed his book and got up and stretched and said, “I should take a break. Where are you off to?”

Urbana told him her plans with Gizmo and asked him, “Do you want to join us?”

Abe hesitated for a moment then said, “I suppose some cold air would do me some good.”

Urbana, Gizmo, and Abe were walking along the edge of the frozen lake, and the only thing that Abe was wearing to fend of the cold air was a loose fitting scarf around his neck to make sure his gills stayed protected and his normal scuba-diver clothes that he wears like they’re normal clothes for him.

Urbana invited him out to try and get to know him on his terms since she knows him through Hellboy’s eyes, but unbeknownst to her, Abe came along because he still didn’t trust Urbana yet. He knows that Grandmama vouches for her and Hellboy, after having his talk with her, also thinks that she’s fine, but there’s too much power in being able to see into someone’s soul, and he wants to know what she plans on doing with the information that she has.

“I have to say Abe,” Urbana said, “You even look beautiful in moon light. Is there no lighting you don’t look good in?”

“You are too kind with your words,” Abe said, feeling uncomfortable with so much praise about his looks, “Have you perhaps seen _Shape of Water_ recently?”

“Shape of what now?” Urbana asked, who avoids live action movies like they’re the plague.

Abe chuckled uncomfortably and said, “Never mind.”

“Oh, Abe,” Urbana said in a teasing voice, “Do you watch mermaid porn when you’re not reading.”

Abe covered his eyes with a webbed hand as Urbana giggled.

“_Shape of Water_ is not a porno. Yes, it has some steamy bits, but really, it’s a story about a woman given a bad hand in life and finding love in an unlikely place,” Abe said passionately.

Urbana was happy to hear him sound so lively and asked him, “What other movies do you love?”

Abe was starting to think about which movies he has seen that he has loved, but then he mentally kicked himself for getting distracted.

“Uh, I only watched that movie,” Abe said.

“Oh,” Urbana replied sounding disappointed.

The two of them were silent as they walked around a bend in the lake.

“I have a request for you and I hope you’re fine with it,” Urbana started to ask, “But will you let me draw you before you guys have to go or can I at least take a few photos of you in different lightings?”

“Um,” Abe said as he drew out that “um” sound. He didn’t know if she really did just want to draw him or if she was trying to gather information on him and then on Liz in some way, but if she can look into your soul then why would she gather information in that way? Finally, he said to her, “Maybe. I need a little more time to think about it.”

“That’s fair,” Urbana said as she resigned to taking his maybe as a no.

“I have a question myself,” Abe said, “Why do you sometimes call Hellboy, “His Majesty”?”

Urbana stopped walking and gave Abe an, are-you-stupid look then said, “Because of his floating fiery crown and big ass long horns on his head.”

Abe has only ever known Hellboy to have a receding hairline and two ground down horn nubs on top of his forehead. He’s only ever had his horns grow out when he’s being forced to use his Right Hand of Doom.

Angry and scared, Abe pulled out his hidden gun and aimed it at Urbana.

“Ah, shit,” Urbana said as Gizmo growled loudly.

“What are you,” Abe asked.

Instead of answering, Urbana was trying to calm Gizmo down.

“How are you working for Rasputin,” Abe asked as he kept his gun trained on her heart.

“Abe,” Urbana said, sounding like a mother who was comforting a child after they had a nightmare, “What did I say that scared you?”

“He doesn’t have long horns or a crown on him,” Abe said defiantly then he added, “What do you want with my friend?”

Still petting Gizmo so that he’d stay calm Urbana said, “I’m going to walk up to you, slowly, and I’m going to trust that you won’t shoot me.”

Urbana closed the distance between them as Abe steeled himself. Once Urbana’s face was an inch away from his gun barrel, Urbana said, “I’m sorry I scared you Abe. I thought everyone could see his horns and crown and that everyone was just fine with it, so I didn’t question it. I know so much about him and about you and Liz through him. I just wanted to try being friends with you on your own terms since I’m just a stranger in your eyes.”

Abe could see tears sliding down her face.

“If you think I’m a danger to the safety of the world though, I won’t blame you,” Urbana said then she gently placed her forehead on the gun barrel, her eyes closed tight as Gizmo continued to growl at him.

Abe felt a wave of regret and shame wash over him. He put away his gun and covered his face with a webbed hand.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

Urbana wrapped him in a hug and said in a rush of words and emotion, “That was scary. How scared were you cause, I was scared a lot? Having a gun pointed in your direction a second time doesn’t make having a gun pointed at you in general any easier. I was not ready to die. Thank you for not shooting me. How are you feeling?”

“A lot,” Abe said hugging her back. The overcoat she was wearing made her feel soft and fluffy and it was comforting.

“I promise that the whole looking-into-his-soul thing was an accident and I’ve never done it before. I don’t even know why I’m able to do it,” Urbana said to him.

“I should have trusted Grandmama and Hellboy’s decision about you and I should have just asked,” Abe said, “The only other demon that you have around you is Gizmo, and Gizmo is more of a really smart demon animal than a person like Hellboy. Of course, you wouldn’t have experienced anything like you did before.”

“I think that’s enough fresh air for us,” Urbana said, then asked, “Do you want to head inside?”

“Yah,” Abe said.

The two of them didn’t stop hugging each other yet. They stayed silent as the quiet of the snow cocooned them to their own thoughts. It was Urbana that broke off the hug first and the two of them cut through the frozen lake to get back to the house quicker.

“Should we tell anyone about what happened,” Urbana asked him.

“I’ll be telling Grandmama, Hellboy, and Liz,” Abe said, “I’ll leave it to you to tell the rest of the family.”

“Should I tell, Hellboy what I see about him,” Urbana asked.

“I think you should,” Abe said, “But that’s up to you.”

“Okay.”

“… You’ve had a gun pointed at you before?” Abe asked.

“I think I was in the seventh grade when some stupid kid brought his hand gun to school because he thought it looked pretty and he wanted to show it off,” Urbana said, “As soon as a teacher saw him pointing it at me he was immediately suspended. It was unloaded but that boy was still an idiot.”

The two of them continued making small talk with each other as they walked back to the mansion and then eventually separating from each other to go to their separate rooms. Both of them had trouble going to sleep that night.

# # #

Urbana was drawing an animal in the kitchen with Beetlejuice and Pugsley describing the animal without telling her what the animal is. Wednesday and Lydia were in town watching a new horror movie that came out. Grandmama was making tofu vegetable soup in the kitchen for dinner. Fester was in the attic working on a new chemical experiment. Hellboy and Morticia were hanging out in the living room and talking to each other. Gomez was practicing his fencing behind the house. Abe was in the library reading and Liz was wandering around aimlessly.

Eventually Liz wandered into the kitchen when Urbana finished drawing a hose faced, snake necked, stilt legged, goat footed, polka-dotted animal.

“Is that a renaissance drawing of a giraffe,” Liz asked as she looked over Urbana’s shoulder.

“Yah, we were trying to get her to draw a giraffe,” Beetlejuice said.

“Let us see it,” Pugsley asked.

Urbana turned around her drawing pad that Beetlejuice gave her for her birthday.

Beetlejuice started laughing at how hilarious the abomination creature looked and Pugsley looked disappointed.

“It’s really hard to describe things,” Pugsley said.

“Eh, it just takes practice kid,” Beetlejuice said, slapping him on the back.

Hellboy walked in holding a used tea set and he said to his mother, “We’re done with tea. Is the sink free, Mother?”

“Yes, it’s free, but give me a kiss real quick,” Grandmama said.

Hellboy sighed, slightly annoyed.

“Oh, don’t give me that,” Grandmama said as she went up to her son, “I barely get to see you anymore. I’ve got to give you as much love as I can.”

“I know,” Hellboy said as he leaned down so Grandmama could give him a kiss on the cheek.

Urbana couldn’t help but awe at the sight.

“Are you really going to do that every time Mother kisses me,” Hellboy asked Urbana.

“Yes. It’s reflex by now,” Urbana answered.

Pugsley went off to get dressed to go outside and play with his father in the snow while Beetlejuice was trying and failing to flirt with Hellboy.

Turning to Liz, Urbana asked, “Do you want to hang out together before dinner starts?”

“Don’t you have work tonight?” Liz asked.

“Naw, I have today off and then I have my Choir Recital off too,” Urbana said.

“Then do you have homework,” Liz asked.

“What? No. Winter break started for me like a week ago,” Urbana said, “You know. I’m not going to force you to hang out with me. You can say no if you don’t want to.”

“Okay,” then she left the kitchen.

“Bitch,” Beetlejuice said.

“Beetlejuice,” Urbana scolded.

“Just sayin’,” he said as he leaned back in his chair, “Why are you trying to hang out with her anyways?”

“I’m trying to get to know her,” Urbana said.

“Don’t you already know her through Beautiful over here,” Beetlejuice said while pointing a thumb at Hellboy.

“Yah, but that’s through his perspective. I want to know her through my perspective,” Urbana said, “I think it would be cool, cause we’ve got similar powers.”

“You can talk to ghosts and look into the souls of demons. How is that similar,” Hellboy asked as he finished up doing his dishes.

“They both have an energy to them, Dear,” Grandmama answered, “It’s raw and powerful and they both seem to be unlimited.”

“Yep, that looks and sounds like my kid sister,” Beetlejuice said proudly.

With a small smile she rolled her eyes at him then she looked down at her hands and said, “I just want to talk to someone who’s like me. Even if it’s only a little bit,” Urbana said.

Having finished his dishes, Hellboy dried off his hands then he patted Urbana’s head with his left hand as he was leaving the kitchen and he said, “Just keep trying. She’ll warm up to you eventually.”

“You think it’ll go faster if I set myself on fire?” Urbana asked jokingly.

“No.”

Beetlejuice chuckled at her stupid joke as Hellboy left to go visit with his little sister some more.

Dinner was ready, Lydia and Wednesday were back from watching their movie, and Urbana was tasked to find everyone else and tell them that Grandmama was ready to serve. Urbana went to the library to look for Abe but instead found Liz who was looking out the window as it was snowing again.

Urbana could see that she was deep in thought, and not wanting to startle her, she fake coughed loudly to get her attention gently, however she still managed to frighten her. A spark lit in Urbana afro and fire immediately started to spread on her head. While Liz rushed to help her put out her hair, Urbana, thinking quick, started taking off her shirt then she covered her head with her shirt and together the two women patted away the fire.

While Urbana was putting her shirt back on Liz was apologizing profusely and was explaining herself. Urbana then grabbed her hand and asked her to take a moment to breath and let her say something. Liz took that moment to breath.

Then Urbana said, “I forgive you and I do not blame you. I understand it was an accident.” She said this to Liz because it was something she’s always wanted someone to say to her when she’s made a mistake and she hoped it would bring her comfort. Then she said, “Dinner’s ready and I’m trying to find everyone else. Have you seen Abe?”

“Yah, he’s in his room,” Liz said, and Urbana thought she was acting a lot calmer.

“Alright, then I’ll see you downstairs,” Urbana said as she left her in the library.

Liz didn’t know how to feel about how calm she was about being set on fire. Maybe it was because she knows her through Hellboy or maybe she’s just that cool headed in such situations. Whichever it is, Liz did feel comforted by her words.

The next morning Hellboy and Urbana were hanging out together in the cemetery gazebo. Hellboy was smoking a cigar while he was watching the ghost children play together and Urbana was singing Christmas carols to the kids.

Hellboy was taking out another cigar and was about to light it with his lighter but Liz lit it for him as she came out from the kitchen side door. He told her thank you and while she was still singing, Urbana waved a hello at her. Liz sat with Hellboy as she smoked and listened to Urbana sing.

“Are you having fun spending time with your sister, mom, and niece and nephew,” Liz asked him.

“I am. Wednesday and Pugsley are getting so big. I can hardly believe it’s been fifteen years since Wednesday was born,” Hellboy said.

“How are they liking their presents,” Liz asked.

“As far as I can tell, they enjoy them,” he answered.

Urbana finished singing _Jingle Bell Rock_ and the little kids and Hellboy clapped at her performance.

“Awe, shucks guys. You’re all too nice. Now, which song should I sing next for you kids,” Urbana asked Reta and her gang.

“_Frosty the Snowman_,” Reta asked.

Urbana agreed and started singing the song and some of the kids were singing with her. After she finished singing that song the kids decided to run off and do whatever ghost kids like to do.

“Do you hang out here often with the graveyard ghosts,” Liz asked Urbana.

“I’m only here for the kids,” Urbana said, “Being dead as a child is hard, especially if you’re a baby and, well, I try to give them comfort in small ways that never change, like reading stories or singing songs.”

She took a drag from her cigarette, then she said, “You have a good heart.”

Urbana shrugged and said, “I try.”

Hellboy, finished his cigar, got up, said his goodbyes, then he went back inside to play with Wednesday and/or Pugsley.

With Hellboy gone, Liz felt free to ask, “Do you have a crush on Abe?”

Urbana gave her a confused look and asked, “What makes you say that?”

Liz flicked her cigarette into the snow and as she was taking out another one, she said, “Because you say things to him like, “What’s cooking good-looking,” and stuff like that.”

“Yah. And?”

Liz was getting confused by her confusion, “And. So do you think of him romantically?”

“No. I don’t,” Urbana said, confused as to how complementing how someone looks gets equaled to having romantic feelings. Then she asked with a mischievous little smile, “Do _you_ have a crush on Abe?”

“God no. He’s like a big brother to me,” Liz said before taking a drag on her cigarette, “Look. I just don’t want his heart getting broken. He’s not used to the kind of attention you’re giving him.”

“Okay.”

They were quiet for a bit while Liz smoked, and Urbana looked through the trees and at the snow.

Urbana then asked, “So, who are you going to call for the séance tomorrow night?”

“No one,” she said flatly.

“Not even your family?” Urbana asked.

Saying nothing, Liz flicked her cigarette butt into the snow and got out a third one. Urbana’s only ever seen her smoke two at a time before, so she got the feeling that she’s upsetting her.

“I’m sure your parents and brother would love to see you again,” Urbana said.

Liz tried to light her cigarette but instead she accidentally lit Urbana’s overcoat sleeve on fire. Her coat wasn’t burning as fast as her hair was, but Liz still panicked at the sight of the fire, especially since Urbana didn’t move to put it out.

Firmly, Urbana said, “Don’t come near me. I’ll be fine. You’re only distracting yourself from a conversation you don’t want to have.”

Urbana then got up and walked over to a snowbank and smothered the fire that had reached to her elbow.

“Listen,” Urbana said, as she dusted the snow off of herself, “I can tell that you’re scared at the thought of seeing your family. Especially after you’ve been blaming yourself for so long over an accident. But I think it’s time for you to start forgiving yourself and speak with yourself fully.”

Urbana then left her at the gazebo feeling huffy while Liz felt dejected. Urbana’s words echoed in her head and Liz wasn’t sure about them. She still thought that she shouldn’t forgive herself since it wasn’t just her family she killed with her fire, but there was still a part of her that wanted to see them, especially her mother. She lit her cigarette then took a deep breath and inhaled half of her cigarette.

It was the séance and Urbana felt dead tired from having to do an evening shift yesterday and then a morning shift that morning. The room was set, the gargoyle bell was out, everyone was present, and Urbana was ready to talk with her mother again. Leading the séance like normal, Morticia invited her father and random dead relatives while Urbana invited her mother.

Rosie, upon arrival, screamed at the sight of Hellboy.

“Well, that’s rude,” Hellboy said to her.

“Oh, gosh, I’m so sorry sir, that slipped out on accident I swear,” Rosie said.

“Mom, you live in the Neitherworld, I would think people like Hellboy would be a normal occurrence,” Urbana asked her.

“That doesn’t mean I don’t get surprised,” Rosie said.

“Well, thank you for apologizing,” Hellboy said, then he went to work helping the other ghosts talk to the rest of the family.

“How goes the search for Grandpa,” Urbana asked.

“We just got confirmation from Hell, that your Grandpa wasn’t registered in that place and we’re still waiting on Heaven to inform us to see if he’s there,” Rosie said then added, “We hired a detective who specializes in deep diving into the lost parts of the Neitherworld but we still haven’t had any luck.”

“He’s been dead ever since I was born, I hope he can give me some kind of advice since he’s like me,” Urbana said.

“I’m sure that he can, Honey,” Rosie said, “Now tell me how your month has been going.”

Urbana told her mother about how her job sucks still but she’s being paid pretty well, and that she’s earning more money through her comic job. She told her about school and what her friends in Amity Park were up to and she told her about her newfound ability. When Rosie pointed out how her hair looked lopsided, Urbana told her about the fire accidents.

“I guess you could say she’s _warming_ up to me,” Urbana said, trying to make light of the situation.

Liz was praying to herself to get through the night when she heard Urbana’s joke.

Sighing, Rosie said, “You and your father love your puns… Please take this seriously. She’s dangerous.”

“Naw, it’s just a hunk, a hunk of burning love,” Urbana said then gave her mother some finger gun action.

While Rosie was trying to get her daughter to accept how dangerous her situation was and Urbana was meeting her mother’s concern with stupid fire jokes, Liz was praying for Urbana to stop and she wished that her mother was there.

A woman appeared in the room that Urbana has never seen before. She looked like Liz but instead of orangeish-brown hair she had blond hair and she had burn marks smeared across her skin. Hellboy, Urbana, and Morticia greeted her.

“Never seen you before,” Urbana told her, “How’d you get here? What’s your name?”

“I’m Mary Sherman,” the woman said.

Hellboy looked the most affected then he whispered something to Liz and Liz said, “Mom?”

“Elizabeth?” The dead woman said to the young woman before her. There were tears in Mary’s eyes as she looked at Liz, “You’ve gotten so big.”

Hellboy repeated what the woman said.

Liz immediately started apologizing and crying about how she killed her and her father and brother. Mary tried to calm her daughter down and reassure her by embracing her, but she only fazed through her.

Urbana then stood up and decided to do something reckless.

“Mrs. Sherman. Do I have your permission to touch you?”

“You can touch me?” Mary asked, confused, but everyone else that has known Urbana, gasped or tried to dissuade her.

“Yes, I can touch you,” Urbana said ignoring everyone, “I’ll give you an energy boost so you can touch your daughter.”

“Then please do,” Mary said.

Urbana placed her hands on her arm and Urbana could feel that slow draining feeling, and Mary was already looking more solid than she did before, but that wasn’t enough for Urbana. These two haven’t seen each other since Liz was a child, they deserve a chance to be able to talk to each other without needing a middleman. So, Urbana took a deep breath and looked within herself and imagined that the energy inside her was like a large pitcher of water and Mary was a parched hydrangea, and she poured every ounce of water on the hydrangea. In her mind, Urbana saw the hydrangea bloom big pink flowers.

When Urbana let go of Mary, she felt lightheaded and could barely keep her eyes open when she said, “Have a good time.” Her own voice sounded muffled to her and she couldn’t hear anyone else, she knew they were talking but she didn’t know what they were saying. Urbana promptly fell back into her chair and passed out.

When Urbana woke up, she was in her room and Abe was reading in a chair beside her bed. Urbana sat up and yawned and asked, “What’ch’ya reading?”

“That doesn’t matter,’ Abe said as he closed his book, “I’m going to go tell the other’s you’re awake. Don’t get out of bed.”

Urbana absentmindedly giggled as he left. She had to pee really badly, so she got out of bed but accidentally fell down. She giggled to herself and call herself Jell-O legs. She then crawled her way to the secret door to her bathroom and got herself situated. While she was washing her hands Grandmama and Morticia barged into the bathroom.

“What are you doing out of bed,” Morticia said.

“I had to pee,” Urbana said as she was still washing her hands.

Grandmama came over and confiscated Urbana’s bar of soap, turned off the water and said, “You’re trying to wash your hands with a decorative glass rock, Urbana. Go back to bed.”

Giggling she said, “I was wondering why it wouldn’t lather.”

Morticia tried to help her walk back to her bed but Urbana wasn’t having it since Morticia was pregnant and shouldn’t do anything because she’s pregnant.

Then the rest of the family barged into her room when Urbana got back into bed. Pugsley and Wednesday crawled into bed with her and hugged her from both sides. Urbana didn’t know what was going on with everyone, but her focus was mainly on Liz.

“Were you able to have fun with your Mom,” Urbana asked Liz.

She nodded.

“Okay. Good,” Urbana said. Then she looked out the window and saw that it was twilight, and it was nighttime when she gave Mary her energy. She looked around for her phone, found it, and saw that it was two days since she gave Mary her energy.

Urbana tried to get up again but Wednesday and Pugsley were holding her down, “I’ve got to get to work.”

“We’ve called your workplace for you already,” Hellboy said, “Just rest for now.”

“What they say,” Urbana asked him as he gently pushed her back into bed.

“That they understand, and they hope you feel better soon,” Hellboy replied.

“Alright, let’s get out of here,” Gomez said.

Together, Gomez, Fester, and Lurch helped chaperone everyone out of Urbana’s room so she could go back to sleep. The only one that was left alone was Liz.

“Thank you again,” Liz said, “for what you did. You really shouldn’t have done that but thank you.”

“And I’ll do it again too,” Urbana said with a little drool escaping her mouth.

“Please don’t,” Liz said as she sat down where Abe was sitting.

“You know what we should do together. We should watch _Avatar: The Last Airbender_ specifically that one episode in book three about the Sun Warriors,” Urbana said.

“Oh, really,” Liz said, talking to Urbana like she’s drunk.

“It’s good show,” Urbana said, “Give you positive thoughts on fire. May not help a lot, but positivity can be good.”

“I guess so,” Liz said, still talking to her like she’s drunk.

# # #

Urbana was walking out of her room, feeling the liveliest she’s felt since she gave Liz’s mother her energy; she was humming and dance-walking when she felt something sharp pierced her right ankle and drag her down and pulled her into the wall. She hit the wall so hard that one of the oil paintings fell on her. Urbana tried to pull her leg away from the wall, but she felt skin and tendons tear. She put her hands around it and pulled and saw that it was a plant and she could tell it was drinking her blood.

“Audrey!” Urbana screamed with pure rage as she pulled at the vine as hard as she could then brought it up to her mouth and tore it apart. Her own blood squirted in her face as the decapitated vine slithered back to where it came from.

Urbana pried the head of the vine off of her ankle, then she stomped off to her room grabbed her fencing sword and started stomping off to go to the greenhouse but in her rage she didn’t notice Hellboy was in front of her and she ran in to him.

He was alarmed by all of the blood on her face and he asked, “Urbana what happened? I heard shouting and are you bleeding from your ankle?”

“Get out of my way, Your Majesty. I’ve got a weed to whack,” Urbana told him as she tried to get around him.

Hellboy grabbed her sword hand and said, “You need to calm down before you lose too much blood. You need to tell me what happened.”

“What I _need_ right now is to throw Audrey into a salad bowl and pour dressing on him, see how he’d like to be eaten alive,” Urbana said as she tried to wriggle out of his stone grip.

“Audrey. Morticia’s prized plant that Gomez got her? He’s all the way down in the green house,” Hellboy said.

“I know,” Urbana said, talking to Hellboy like he’s stupid, “The plant bastard has grown vines and probably roots all inside the cracks of this house. Now let go.”

Urbana then dropped her sword so she could slip her hand through his grip then she quickly picked up her sword and ran off before Hellboy could catch her again. Right in front of the stairs, a popping sound emanated from her bleeding ankle and she accidentally fell down the flight of stairs.

Hellboy ran to the stairs to see Urbana was crumpled in on herself but she was trying to get back up on her feet.

“Are you okay,” he asked as he raced down the steps.

“Don’t worry about me,” Urbana said, feeling sore and managing to sit right side up, “I’ve fallen down stairs before.”

“Don’t say that like it’s good you’re use to that sort of thing,” Hellboy said as he pulled out a roll of gauze from his trench coat.

“You carry gauze?”

“I carry a lot of things in my coat,” Hellboy said as he started wrapping up her ankle, “It’s not unusual for me to be swept up into another dimension or time, so having small things like this on me helps.”

Once he was finished wrapping her up, Urbana tried to stand on her own again but Hellboy picked her up bridal style so that she wouldn’t hurt herself again and also so she can’t run off like the idiot she’s being.

Urbana could only glare at him.

“Look. You can pout all you want but that won’t change the fact that you are hurt, and you need a moment to clear your head. Going into a fight blinded by rage isn’t a smart thing to do,” he said.

Urbana knew he was speaking from experience, so she stopped glaring at him. Urbana also knew he was going to walk super slow until he was sure that she was calm enough. Urbana started to stare at the crown on his head and she decided she wanted to touch it. Urbana’s hand passed through his horns and fiery crown but Hellboy felt a shiver go from the tip of his tail to the back of his neck and he almost dropped her.

“Whatever you just did, please don’t do it again,” Hellboy said.

Urbana quickly gripped her sword with both of her hands and promptly apologized.

They were silent for a couple of seconds then Hellboy asked, “How many times _have_ you fallen down stairs?”

“This is the third time,” Urbana said.

“What happened the other times,” Hellboy asked thinking she just tripped those other times, considering how clumsy he thinks she is.

“First time was at my new school. I had been there for a year and I trusted the wrong people again with the knowledge of my ghost sight and one of the kids decided to push me down the school stairs for funsies,” Urbana said then she continued, “The second time was around a year after Mom had died but she hadn’t moved on yet and she was addicted to the energy I produce and well, I was at the top of the stairs when she was kissing me goodnight and I fainted and ended up in a three day coma.”

Hellboy was silent as they continued walking down the stairs.

"You regret asking,” Urbana asked him.

“No. I just don’t know what to say. Nothing good comes to mind other than a simple, I’m sorry,” he said.

“Thank you. That’s all you really can say,” Urbana said as she patted his chest. Then to change the subject she said, “You’re going to be a great husband someday.”

“Am I now,” Hellboy said with a slight smile, “What makes you say that?”

Listing things off of her fingers she started to say, “Well, you are good with kids. You have a nice smile. You’re strong enough to carry a 200lbs woman considering you haven’t broken a sweat yet with me. You’ve lived a long and interesting life, so talking with you would be interesting and fun. And those are just the things that are coming to me from the top of my head” Urbana said finishing.

“That’s high praise. Thank you, but I don’t think I’ll ever get married or have kids,” Hellboy said.

“Because of your job, and the fact you are hounded by Hell to open its gates onto earth and what not,” Urbana said.

Hellboy nodded.

“Yah. I understand,” Urbana said, “I don’t think I’ll get married or have kids either, because of my job and mainly because I don’t think I _like_ the idea of getting married or having kids. But if _you_ like the idea, then I’m sure one day, you will have what you want.”

Hellboy gave her a big beautiful smile and said, “Thanks.”

They made it to the first floor and the first person to see them was Grandmama.

“My child, what happened,” Grandmama said, “You were just starting to get better too.”

“Audrey is what happened to me,” Urbana said, her rage starting to boil again.

Hellboy cleared his throat and gave her a look.

Urbana forced herself to take a deep breath and said in a strained voice, “We need to have a family meeting about Audrey. Somewhere that isn’t in this mansion.”

“I know just the place,” Grandmama said.

The Addams family and Urbana were cramped in Cousin It’s office as he was looking over the x-rays of Urbana’s ankle while everyone else was discussing what to do about Audrey.

Morticia was in tears in her chair, and Hellboy was holding her hand and Gomez was hugging her from behind.

“I’m sorry everyone,” Morticia said, “I know I’m crying too much over this, and I know that Audrey is dangerous, but the thought of having to kill him, my little carnivorous baby, it just chokes me up. I thought I was doing a good job in teaching him to be a good boy.”

“I know my love,” Gomez said, “But we can only do so much before they start making decisions of their own and Audrey has chosen to do harm.”

Then Hellboy added, “Besides, once we kill him, we can find the best part of him and put it in one of those liquid glass-like things—”

“Resin?” Urbana asked.

“—Yes! We’ll put a bit of him in some resin and we can make it a necklace and you’ll be able to keep carrying him around near your heart,” Hellboy finished.

Rubbing her softly round stomach, Morticia took a couple of deep breaths and said, “Okay. Let’s do this.”

“So how are we going to kill Audrey without destroying our mansion,” Fester said, “It’s capable of healing, but it’s not invulnerable.”

“I think we’ve lost any chance of surprising him too,” Wednesday added, “Especially since we all left our house in a hurry.”

“And who knows how deeply rooted Audrey is into our house,” Pugsley stated.

“Well, he’s rooted enough to make it to the fifth floor,” Urbana said as she sat with her leg up in the air, resting on some pillows.

“Audrey is still a plant,” Grandmama said, “A very strange plant, but a plant, nonetheless. We’ll have to poison him.”

“With what exactly? It needs to be instant, since I’m sure he won’t go down without a fight,” Abe said.

“What if Liz burnt it to death,” Pugsley asked.

“No way, kid,” Liz said, “I could accidentally burn your house down in the process.”

“What about your chemicals, Uncle Fester,” Wednesday asked.

“Too dangerous,” Fester said, “We might get hurt in the process with my chemicals.

“In my biology class I learned that plants that aren’t native to the sea hate salt so what if we gave him an overdose of salt,” Urbana offered.

“Not quick enough,” Grandmama stated.

<“I have a suggestion,”> Cousin It said.

Cousin It told the rest of the family his plan in disguising Hellboy with an illusion potion that Grandmama can make and Urbana had enough blood in her left to give up one and a half litters of blood to pour instant weed killer in her blood to trick Audrey to drink. Then while he’s digesting the poison the rest of the family will just wait it out.

“I’m assuming I’ll be illusioned to look like Morticia,” Hellboy said.

<“If anything. Right now, Morticia’s the only person he would trust since she’s been taking care of him this whole time,”> Cousin It said then added, <“The rest of the family can stay here until this all blows over.”>

“Okay, I can give up some blood,” Urbana said, “But someone hold my hand. I don’t like needles or blood.”

“How’d you stay awake with all that blood on your face then?” Abe asked.

“Pure rage,” was her simple answer.

Grandmama managed to make a simple illusion potion that would last Hellboy five minutes. Lurch then got the bottle of weed killer that Hellboy, Liz, and Abe will pour into the bottle of blood Urbana donated when they get to the mansion. Before leaving, everyone wished the trio good luck and they said they’ll call when they know it’s safe for them to return to the mansion.

While the three of them were gone, Urbana had to get a cast on her ankle.

“Ugh! This is so stupid. I’ve already missed four days of work. How long will I need to wear this?” Urbana asked Cousin It.

<“You have multiple puncture fractures all around your ankle where he bit you, and if you hadn’t of started walking on it like you did, you would have only need a simple brace, but you see this here,”> Cousin It said as he pointed at her x-ray,< “You see this long crack going up your lateral malleolus. You’ll be out of commission for at least two months. You’re lucky you don’t have to have surgery.”>

“I can’t not work for two months,” Urbana said, sounding panicked, “I’ve got rent and car debit repairs to pay for. Oh, God, and the book rental’s I’ll have to get for school soon.”

“Dear, please relax,” Gomez said, “You don’t have to pay us. We can wait until you get better and can get back to work.”

“I’ll be moving out of the mansion eventually after I graduate and what you’re offering isn’t what happens in real life,” Urbana said.

Grandmama then smacked her upside the head.

“Ow, Grandmama what was—”

“You _are_ in real life! You stubborn little shit. We care about your health and well-being and you are going to accept our kindness. We are not going to put you in a position where you have to fight to survive. Okay!?”

“… Okay. I’m sorry, Grandmama. Everyone. Thank you,” Urbana said.

Grandmama sighed and said, “I’m sorry for blowing up at you like that.”

“No. No. I needed that,” Urbana said.

While Urbana was paying off her hospital bill, Morticia got a call from Hellboy who gave them the O.K. to come back to the house.

When they got to the house, Hellboy, Liz, and Abe looked awful.

Morticia and Grandmama went up to Hellboy to console him and the rest of the family talked to Liz and Abe.

“Glad to see you still have all of your limbs,” Fester said.

“What happened in there,” Wednesday asked Abe and Liz.

They told them about how Hellboy successfully convinced Audrey into thinking that he was Morticia and that he killed Urbana for him to drink her blood. When Audrey drank the tainted blood though, he didn’t go down immediately. There was a least a thirty-minute scuffle with Audrey trying to grab and eat them alive. Finally, he died but then his body continued to flail for the next twenty-minutes before they could confirm that it was dead. The greenhouse and half of the house where he rooted himself got trashed but he should be gone.

“I wish I could have been there,” Pugsley said, “I could have helped with my swords.”

The family went back into the messed-up mansion and everyone decided that Liz, Abe, and Hellboy should get patched up first, then everyone took a nap before cleaning the house.

# # #

Urbana was hobbling out of her college auditorium with the rest of her choir members as they had finished their show. Urbana met up with the Addams family. The González family didn’t come this Christmas Recital because they came over on Wednesday’s quinceanera.

“Have you guys seen my Dad?” Urbana asked them.

“No. Not yet,” Grandmama said.

“Oh. Okay. Fester, can I have my bag back,” Urbana asked him.

Fester gave back her bag and she rummaged around in it and pulled out three drawings to give to Hellboy, Abe, and Liz.

“Here. Since you are all leaving tonight. These are my late Christmas presents to you,” Urbana said as she handed her portrait drawings of them, to them, “Thanks for coming.”

Liz hugged her and said, “We enjoyed being here.”

Hellboy pated her head and said, “You stay out of trouble. Okay.”

“No promises,” Urbana said.

Abe tried to give her a handshake, but Urbana booed him then she dropped her crutches to give the fish man a hug.

“Sorry we can’t stay any longer,” Abe said when Urbana stopped hugging him.

Pugsley handed Urbana back her crutches as the rest of the family said their goodbyes to the trio.

“You guys have my phone number,” Urbana said, “So if you guys are having a ghost problem, I’ll be more than happy to help.”

“We’ll keep that in mind,” Hellboy said.

After Grandmama gave Hellboy a few more goodbye kisses and Morticia gave him a long hug, the three of them left the school building while the rest of the Addams family stuck around to socialize with the other college student’s family members.

Urbana looked around and asked her classmates if they have seen her father. Eventually, she decided to call him.

“Hello,” Bob said, sounding like he just woke up.

“Dad, did you fall asleep in the auditorium,” Urbana asked him.

“What?” Bob asked, sounding confused.

Sighing, Urbana asked, “Where are you?... I want to give you a hug.”

“I’m at home,” Bob said before yawning.

“Already?” Urbana asked.

“I never left, Urbana,” Bob said, “Look. I had a long day of doing people’s hair for the school’s winter dance and I decided not to go. I know you sang wonderfully.”

“Oh…”

“I hope you had a merry Christmas,” Bob said.

“Thanks. Bye Dad,” Urbana said.

“Bye Sweetie,” Bob said before Urbana hung up.

This was Urbana’s last Christmas Recital. Urbana wanted to be angry, but she couldn’t.

Wednesday came over to her holding two plates of tiny crackers and hummus.

“Thanks,” Urbana said as she placed her phone in her bra and took the plate from her.

“You sang beautifully,” Wednesday said.

“Thank you for coming,” Urbana told her with a small smile.”

“We enjoy it,” she said, “I can’t wait to see you do it next year.”

“There won’t be a next year,” Urbana said.

“Why not,” Wednesday asked.

“Well, after this coming semester is over my scholarship will be over and one of the mandatory requirements for my scholarship was to be in choir and do well in it. There’s no point in being in choir after that,” Urbana said before taking a bite of cracker.

“That’s too bad,” Wednesday said.

Urbana shrugged and said, “Eh, it just gives me more time to work in Lurch’s band.”

“Oh. That’s true,” Wednesday said.

Pugsley then ran over and pulled at his sister’s hand and said, “I found a forbidden door. Come look at it with me.”

The two of them ran off and Urbana was left alone with her thoughts.


	18. Girl Just Want Ghosts to Leave Her Alone

It was January and Urbana Des Moines was sitting in the living room with the rest of the family as Gomez and Morticia stood before them. They had called for a family meeting. Morticia was fingering her necklace that she made from Audrey’s corpse.

“Thank you all for coming,” Gomez said.

“What did you want to discuss,” Grandmama asked.

“It’s about our room rentals,” Morticia said, “Even though Urbana has been living with us for over a year now and even though we spend advertisement on what we’re providing we still haven’t had any luck getting new tenants.”

“So, we’ve decided to add something new to the advertisements. What do you guys think of us becoming a small bed and breakfast place,” Gomez said.

“Will we still be renting out rooms?” Wednesday asked.

“We will,” Morticia answered, “We decided to do the bed and breakfast so that people could test run living here if they still don’t feel sure about it.”

“That sounds like a solid plan,” Urbana said then asked, “Have you already put out advertisements for it?”

“No, not yet,” Gomez said, “We wanted to make sure everyone else were on the same page and that you were all okay with it.”

Everyone nodded their heads, and everyone was fine with the bed and breakfast plan.

“Is that it,” Fester asked.

“We have one more announcement,” Morticia said, “By the end of this month we’ll be leaving on vacation to Hotel Transylvania in Romania, Transylvania.”  
“Oh, that’s fantastic,” Grandmama said, “We haven’t been there since you were pregnant with Wednesday.”

“Yes,” Gomez said, “We thought it’d be something for the kids since once the baby is born, we won’t have the same time with them as we do now.”

“This is so exciting,” Pugsley said.

“I remember our last vacation was going to Oregon and staying in a town called Gravity Falls,” Wednesday questioned.

“You remember right,” Fester said.

“Well, I’ll make sure to hold down the fort while you all are gone,” Urbana said.

“Oh, don’t be silly, Urbana,” Gomez said, “Of course you’re coming with us.”

Urbana wanted to fight them on that, cause she really does think that she shouldn’t intrude on a family vacation, but she knew that they would just argue with her back and then she’d end up going anyways.

“Okay,” Urbana said.

Someone was knocking on the front door and Urbana got up on her good foot using her crutches and she said she’d go get it since she ordered a new set of water paints online.

When Urbana opened the door, she was met with an older man with silver white hair that was pulled back into a low ponytail and a matching silver goatee. He was wearing heavy black eyeliner and had on a fancy black suit with a gray dress shirt and a red bolo tie and a red silk handkerchief in his breast pocket.

“Hello,” Urbana said, thinking he’s a relative to the Addams family, “Who are you here to see?”

He gave her a slimy smile and said, “You must be Urbana. I’ve heard so much about you.”

“I get that a lot,” Urbana said as she stuck out her hand for him to shake, “And you are?”

Extending his hand to her he said, “I’m Vlad Masters.”

Urbana, in a panic, immediately pulled back and slammed the door in front of him. Then she hobbled back to the living room as fast as she could.

“Guys, we have a problem,” she told them.

Fester was pointing behind her and everyone was looking behind her with shock. Turning around she saw a man in a white suit and cape with black pointy hair and sharp fangs and blood red eyes.

“That wasn’t very nice,” Vlad said with a smirk.

Thing threw a sword at Gomez from the fireplace mantle and Gomez caught the sword and stood between Vlad and Urbana.

“You’re not welcome here, Vlad,” Gomez said as he pointed his sword in Vlad’s face.

Morticia put her hands on Urbana’s shoulders and pulled her back while everyone gathered around her.

He laughed then said, “Gomez. I haven’t seen you in a while. How’s your little sister, oh wait, she’s an ugly man now.”

Gomez tried, and failed, to slash Vlad with his sword. Then Vlad possessed Gomez. Gomez’s eyes glowed an unnatural red and he had on his slimy smile.

“Get out of my son-in-law you ghost bastard,” Grandmama said.

“Now, now. No need to get so upset,” Vlad said through Gomez, “I’m just here for the girl.”

“Like we’re going to do that,” Wednesday say defiantly.

“How about a trade then,” Vlad said through Gomez as he placed the sword tip to his throat, “His life for the girl? Is that fair?”

The stalemate was thick enough to be cut like cheese. In a panic Urbana said Beetlejuice three times. The dead man himself appeared beside them wearing a Marilyn Monroe cosplay. He looked like he was in the middle of a photo shoot.

“Uh, Urbana,” he asked.

Urbana frantically pointed at the possessed Gomez and said, “Help him. Help him. Help him.”

Without another word Beetlejuice dived into Gomez’s body and for a minute Gomez flailed around like two people were throwing punches inside him. Finally, Vlad flew out of Gomez and landed hard on his back.

Beetlejuice got out of Gomez and said, “You okay, Flesh Bag?”

“That was exhilarating,” Gomez said, breathing heavily.

Morticia ran up to hug him on the floor.

“Really,” Vlad said as he got back up on his feet, “Why are you helping them. We should work together.”

“I’m going to stop you right there,” Beetlejuice said, “I know numb-nuts like you, and I’ll tell you right now that I have no interest in whatever nefarious and stupid plans you have. But listen. I’ll make you a deal.”

“Beetlejuice?” Urbana questioned.

“I’ll join your ridiculous little team or group or whatever you’re doing, for shits and giggles, if you can possess my little home girl here,” Beetlejuice said as he pointed at Urbana.

Vlad looked at Urbana hungrily. Then he said to Beetlejuice, “Okay. I could use someone as old and powerful as you on my side.”

Vlad then flew straight for Urbana. Everyone but Beetlejuice tried to stop him, but he managed to possess her. Urbana felt her whole body burning up and she felt like she was going to throw up. Urbana screamed but it wasn’t her voice that came out. When she threw up, Vlad came out of her mouth, covered in a golden mucus and he looked burnt up like someone threw him into a furnace.

Beetlejuice then picked him up and threw him out of the closest window and they all listen to him make the whistling sound affect then a light boom as Beetlejuice watched Vlad fall from where he threw him.

“Man, what an asshole. Am I right?” Beetlejuice said.

Golden mucus still dribbling down her chin Urbana grabbed Beetlejuice by his dress straps and said, “Why don’t you tell me these things that you know I can do!”

Urbana shook him so hard that his head fell off his shoulders.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” Beetlejuice said, “I just forgot.”

“What else are you forgetting,” Urbana said then she burped and felt sick.

“Okay. Okay. Give me a second to think,” Beetlejuice said, “I need to get my head on straight.”

Pugsley and Wednesday helped Urbana sit down on the couch while Grandmama picked up and helped him screw his head back on.

“Alright. You already know about having energy that you can give to ghosts and you already know that you can concentrate your energy into being like a burning fire when you are mad at ghosts and you know that you can look into the souls of demons. Is that everything,” Beetlejuice asked her.

“That _sounds_ like everything” Fester said.

“Okay so what just happened is that you are un-possessable,” Beetlejuice said, “No ghost, or any other undead thing, is capable of possessing you without them burning inside of you.”

“Glad we cleared that up,” Urbana said as she took Gomez’s handkerchief and wiped her chin and mouth, “Anything else?”

“I… Remember… That ghosts aren’t the only dead people you can talk to,” Beetlejuice said.

“Oh, that’s neat,” Pugsley said, “What other dead can she talk to normally?”

“Like zombies, and skeletons, and liches, and wrights. Just to name a few,” Beetlejuice said.

“Okay. Anything else,” Urbana asked him.

“No. I’m pretty sure that’s all I know,” Beetlejuice said, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go back to my photo shoot then I’ll come back. One of you is related to some ghost hunters, right? You guys should call them.”

Then he disappeared.

Morticia got out her phone and rang up her sister to tell her what happened, and it wasn’t long till Urbana got a call from Danny and Jazz.

“We overheard from Mom and Aunt Morticia’s phone call,” Jazz said, “Are you alright.”

“Did you steal Danny’s phone again,” Urbana asked her.

Urbana heard a scuffle then Danny said, “Did he hurt you?”

“I mean, yah, but also, I think he got hurt more than me when he possessed me,” Urbana told him.

“He possessed you! Alright, I’m flying over there,” Danny said.

In the background Urbana was sure she heard Jazz tell her Uncle Red to catch him before he ran off. Then there was the unmistakable sound of the phone being dropped on a hard surface. There was a minute of silence.

“Hey, Urbana,” Hellboy said over Danny’s phone.

“Hello, Uncle Red,” Urbana said. Then Wednesday and Pugsley yelled their hellos to Hellboy while she was still on the phone.

“You heard them, Hellboy,” Urbana asked him.

“Loud and clear,” Hellboy said and he asked her to tell them his hello back to them. Then he said, “I’ll make sure knucklehead here calms down. We’ll call you and Morticia back when we have a plan ready for yah.”

“Sounds good,” Urbana said, “Tell Abe and Liz I said hi.”

“Will do,” Hellboy said before he hung up.

It wasn’t long before Beetlejuice came back wearing his usual style and he said, “Hey, so I told Lydia and her parents about what happened, so they’ll be coming over soon.”

“Is that such a good idea? What about Lydia’s safety?” Fester asked.

Beetlejuice waved away his concern and said, “It’s fine. It’s fine. Lydia’s only able to see ghosts, she’s not able to give or take energy or anything like Urbana can do.”

“How long do you think Vlad has been planning on coming here,” Pugsley asked.

“I don’t know,” Urbana answered, “But Skulker has worked for Vlad before. I’m sure he told him about me after he healed up from that beating I gave him.”

Beetlejuice laughed at the memory of Urbana telling him about that day.

About twenty minutes later the Deetz’s and the Maitland’s were at the mansion. It was the Addams family and Urbana’s first time meeting Lydia’s parents. Officially at least. Urbana has seen them whenever they come over to pick up their daughter from hanging out with Wednesday or practicing her craft with Urbana. They’ve never stayed long enough to talk over tea or coffee.

Charles Deetz looked like a living example of a stock photo of a businessman. He had on a nice brown suit, not as expensive looking as Gomez’s, but it was certainly fit for board meetings and discussing company budgets in. Urbana could tell that he also took good care of himself by his hands; they looked moisturized and the nails were clean and manicured, something Gomez doesn’t bother himself with. Gomez prides himself on how rough his hands look considering all of the sword practicing he does.

Delia Deetz looked like a woman who enjoys the many colors of life with the way she was dressed like how Americans stereotype Gypsy fashion. She had on two different colored shoes and shoe types, the skirt was long with many types of swirling colors in it, she had on a long sleeved white shirt with yellow threading, a purple scarf was used as a head band to keep her blond hair back and she was wearing several types of earrings. She was certainly Morticia’s wardrobe opposite. Urbana could tell she also took pride in keeping her hands looking good by her long fake nails that were painted like the rainbow. Like her husband, Morticia wasn’t much for the manicure life, she kept her hands clean, but she also took a kind of pride in having green stains covering her hands and/or having bits of dirt stuck under her nails.

“We came as soon as we could,” Delia said, “Sorry we took so long.”

“Nonsense, Dear,” Grandmama said, “We appreciate you being here at all.”

Lydia went up to Wednesday and the two girls started talking. Mr. and Mrs. Deetz started talking with Mr. and Mrs. Addams and Urbana talked with Mr. and Mrs. Maitland, and Fester, Lurch, and Grandmama went off to do their own things around the mansion.

“So. I’m confused,” Urbana told Barbara, “Do they know Lydia can see ghosts? Did Beetlejuice just show up and say hi or whatever?”

“Yep. You’ve summed that up pretty nicely,” Adam said.

Then Adam and Barbara told her about how they died and the Deetz bought the home they use to live in when they were alive and they didn’t like all the changes that were happening to their house and Lydia, who was at the time getting use to Delia as her new mother, didn’t like the changes either so they teamed up, but then they didn’t have the power to really scare them with how the Maitland’s are like. Then Lydia found an unsummoned Beetlejuice hanging out in a graveyard and together the four of them made Mr. and Mrs. Deetz life miserable. The six of them worked it out in the end by talking with each other.

“And then you all moved here?” Urbana asked, “Why?”

“New scenery,” Adam said.

“But also, because Charles got a promotion and he was told to move here,” Barbara added.

“And also, because Lydia was getting severely bullied at her all girl school that she was going to,” Adam whispered, “Wednesday, Bertha, and Prudence are her first living friends since Delia married Charles.”

“Boy, do I know that feeling,” Urbana said in a whisper.

Pugsley came up to Urbana and pressed his forehead into her back and said, “I’m bored.”

“Hello Bored. I’m Urbana,” she said, “How are you?”

Adam chuckled, while Barbara rolled her eyes.

“I want to play with Lydia and Wednesday, but they don’t want to do anything with me,” Pugsley said.

“My, what a predicament,” Urbana said, “Have you asked Beetlejuice?”

“He said he can’t because he’s on guard duty,” Pugsley said.

“No you’re not,” Urbana yelled at Beetlejuice.

Beetlejuice was floating close by and was wearing a dark gray jacket with light grey dress pants and a white collar shirt and the gray hat on his head had the word GUIDE barely crossed out with shitty permanent marker and written on the leftover space above the word, was the word GUARD.

“Uh, yes I am,” Beetlejuice said.

“What the heck are you even guarding,” Urbana asked him.

Hands pressed together like he was praying, Beetlejuice took a deep breath then said, “Girl. You dense mother fucker. I’m guarding you. From now on until we have that Vlad guy under wraps and other things, I’m not leaving your side.”

“Oh, that’s going to get very boring for you,” Urbana told him.

Shrugging he said, “Eh, the things you sacrifice for the people you care about.”

Barbara and Adam awed at his answer.

“He’s so nice to you and Lydia,” Barbara said, and Adam agreed.

“Oh, shut up you two,” Beetlejuice said, sounding like an embarrassed teenager in front of his parents.

Pugsley sighed loudly as he pulled on Urbana’s shirt. Urbana staggered on her crutches.

“How about we all play poker,” Urbana said, “Assuming you two can hold cards.”

“We have the energy capacity to hold small things like cards,” Adam told her.

“Sounds good,” Beetlejuice said, “I didn’t know you still know how to play, Urbana.”

“I probably need a bit of a refresher,” she said, “I haven’t played since you last taught me and played.”

Pugsley ran off to get a stack of cards while the adults settled around the living room coffee table. After Pugsley came back with the deck of cards Beetlejuice went over the rules of poker with everyone and since no one had any money on them it was a free-for-all betting system. Pugsley bet his old toys, the Maitland’s bet different types of tasks they can do, Beetlejuice bet the clothes off his back and Urbana decided to do the same thing.

By the end of their game Urbana had all of Pugsley’s toys, the Maitland’s were her cleaning staff for the week, and Beetlejuice was in nothing but his spider themed boxers and GUARD hat.

“God damn it,” Beetlejuice cried out as he threw his cards on the coffee table, “Now I remember why I taught you how to gamble in the first place.”

Urbana could only laugh as she gathered her winnings.

“What are you going to do with my old stuff,” Pugsley ask her, kind of concerned.

“I’ll just put them in a pile and do a still-life painting of them,” Urbana told him.

“Oh, cool,” Pugsley said.

Urbana’s phone started to ring and when she picked up, it was Danny.

“Oh, hey,” Urbana told him, “How are you doing? Are you calmer?”

“I’m still seething, but I’ll manage,” Danny grumbled, then he said, “My Dad, Abe, and Liz will be heading your way. They’ll set up protection protocols around the mansion so that at least you’ll be safe from Vlad there.”

“Sounds good but too bad for Liz and Abe. It’s only been like, what, a week or two since they got to your guy’s place and then they have to come back,” Urbana said.

“They volunteered, saying that they didn’t want Jazz, Mom, or I to miss out on spending time with Uncle Red,” Danny said then added, “Dad also had the same sentiment, but it would be faster if I flew over there. They have to take the RV.”

“That’ll take them a week, right,” Urbana asked.

“Not if they only stop for gas and bathroom breaks and take turns driving,” Danny said, “Then it’ll take three days and I’m sure that’s what they plan to do.”

“Well tell them not to rush on my account. I don’t want them to hurt themselves,” Urbana told him.

Both Danny and Beetlejuice sighed, oh my god, to themselves.

“Urbana, you need therapy,” Danny said then added, “Be safe. Okay?”

“I’ll be fine. Thanks for your concern. Is Jazz going to call me next,” Urbana asked.

“She’s actually staring intently at me while holding her phone in front of her. The longer I talk the more annoyed she looks and it’s funny,” Danny said.

“Well, I’m not going to help you with that,” Urbana said, “I’ll text Sam and Tucker later.” Then she hung up.

She had Beetlejuice and Pugsley help her carry her winnings to her room while Beetlejuice was trying to convince her to give him back his clothes. She refused of course, because games aren’t fun without consequences.

# # #

It was early morning when the Fenton RV rolled up into the mansion’s front yard. Abe and Liz hopped out looking exhausted while Jack was full of energy as he started setting up stuff.

Urbana hobbled up to Liz and Abe and said, “I didn’t think we’d see each other so soon,” then she said to Abe, “Still looking good as ever gorgeous.”

He chuckled tiredly then said, “Thanks.”

“And you too Liz. Bed head suits you,” Urbana said, not wanting to leave her out of her morning complements.

Liz flopped onto Urbana and gave her a lose hug, “Thanks.”

“Man, were the past three days that bad,” Urbana asked.

“Don’t get us started,” Abe said.

Something metal and loud fell in the RV and Jack came out of it and said, “Have you guys seen my wielding goggles?”

There were a pair of goggles on his head and Urbana pointed them out to him.

“Oh, there they are,” Jack said as he placed them over his eyes, “I forgot I put them there. Thanks.”

Jack ducked back into the RV and welding sounds started emanating from the inside of it.

“Jack’s absentmindedness can be charming, but when you’re on the road for three days straight with the man,” Liz said but couldn’t finish.

“It gets a bit frustrating,” Abe said.

Urbana chuckled and said, “Oh, you poor babies.”

“Where’s everyone else,” Liz asked as she stopped hugging Urbana.

“They’re still inside asleep,” Urbana said.

“What are you doing up then,” Abe asked.

“I have school to worry about and my first class starts at eight in the morning,” Urbana said.

Liz looked at the time on her phone and saw that it was 6:10am.

“Are you leaving right now,” Liz asked.

“Yep,” Urbana said, “Good luck with the rest of your day.”

Urbana hobbled up to her car and Abe helped open the door for her and once she was situated inside and her crutches were secured, Abe closed her car door for her, and she drove off.

Urbana’s world history teacher was setting up for the class while her classmates were streaming into the classroom. Urbana was set up at her desk in the front row ready to learn. As her teacher was about to start her lesson the classroom door flung open and Beetlejuice was there, but he didn’t look like he usually did.

Beetlejuice was wearing jeans that were torn at his knees, a plaid, long sleeve, button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and the top two buttons on his shirt were loose, his green blond hair was longer and styled, he didn’t have his blood red nails on, he was taller than he usually was and was thinner. To sum it up, he looked like a twenty-five-year-old hipster dude. Urbana thought it was weird that she didn’t see him in her bathroom mirror that morning.

“Hey, Bobby Juice here. Sorry for being late,” Beetlejuice said.

“I’ve been taking rollcall for days now and I haven’t seen a Bobby Juice on here. I think you might have the wrong class,” the teacher said.

Beetlejuice snapped his fingers and said, “Well shoot. You were about do the rollcall, right? Could you check again?”

The teacher rolled her eyes but proceeded to check the list of names she has for this hour of class time and she was surprised to find Bobby Juice on there.

“Oh. I’m sorry, Mr. Juice. I must have been missing it for some reason,” the teacher said.

While Beetlejuice was taking a seat beside Urbana, he said, “It’s okay. I tend to have that kind of luck.” Then he gave Urbana a big smug grin.

Urbana frowned at him and mouthed the words, you motherfucker, at him. Then she kept the rest of her attention on the teacher and learning. Once class was out, she ripped into him.

“This is worse than your Betty Juice persona,” Urbana told him as he helped carry her stuff as she hobbled out of the classroom.

“Are you saying I don’t look good,” Beetlejuice asked, feigning heartbreak.

“That’s not the issue, “_Bobby_”,” Urbana said, “Is this really how you’re going to stop being bored? Cause I thought you were having fun messing with the other students when you were in ghost form.”

“I mean, I was. But a man can only laugh at students looking for their pencils for so long,” Beetlejuice said then he made a bunch of pencils and pens appear in his hand like he was displaying a fan, then asked, “Do you want one?”

“No.”

Beetlejuice shrugged then made them disappear. They got into an elevator and rode it down to the ground floor and they walked together to Urbana’s next class.

“Doesn’t it bother you to be in a form like that? You’ll have to hold it so long as people around you can see you,” Urbana said, “People freak out too much about small things. I don’t want them to freak out about your literal sudden disappearance.”

“Oh, it’s fine,” Beetlejuice said, “I once had the persona, Gloria Valentine, and I broke the hearts of men and women for fifteen years straight in that form.”

“Good for you,” she said, deadpanned.

Beetlejuice followed Urbana in his Bobby Juice persona all day, from her figure drawing and painting classes, to her world literature class, and to her phycology class. Finally, Urbana sat down for lunch in the cafeteria.

“Oh, god, I was wondering when you’d take a break,” Beetlejuice said as he slumped in the chair in front of her.

While she was getting out her Beowulf book to read while she ate Urbana said, “Forcing yourself to be a normal person is forcing you to take notice of my schedule, huh?”

“The only interesting class you had was that figure drawing class,” Beetlejuice said, “Your gest model had body rolls in _all_ of the right places.”

“Please don’t talk like that while I’m eating,” Urbana told him as she was reading.

“Ugh, and you’re such a naysayer, too,” Beetlejuice said, “I thought college was supposed to be fun.”

“I didn’t chose to go to college to have fun,” Urbana said as she snapped her book closed, “I came here to get out of college as fast as I can so I don’t have to live in a student loan hell hole decades after I’ve graduated. I have to be on top of mountains of schoolwork even though _you_ may think that they’re all just mole hills. And I will become a comic book artist and storyteller of my dreams, maybe even better because this is a good school. So I don’t want to hear you complain to me about how bored you are about your choices, you dug your grave, so lay in it.”

“God, _damn_, girl,” Beetlejuice said, “I see I hit a nerve. I’m sorry.”

Urbana leaned back into her chair and said, “Thanks... I really do appreciate you being here though. It’s nice talking to you without people passing us and giving me funny looks.”

“No problem. I’m just glad that Vlad guy hasn’t tried anything yet,” Beetlejuice said, “Though, he just may be out of commission for a while. He did look really burnt up.”

A woman came up to their lunch table and started chatting up Beetlejuice. That wasn’t unusual. Beetlejuice has had a number of women and some men come up to him to give him their phone number and what not. Urbana blamed him for using his ghost powers, but Beetlejuice says it’s purely his arura of approachability and animal magnetism. What was strange was that it was Susie. Urbana’s first and last friend she made at her new school when she moved to Northampton.

Urbana knew her since they were in the fifth grade together and they’ve seen each other here and there on campus but neither one of them has ever tried talking to each other. Urbana knew that Susie was only here for one thing, being a bitch to her. Though, a part of her hoped she was wrong.

“Do you mind if I sit here,” Susie asked Beetlejuice.

Susie had her hair up in a high ponytail and her brown hair looked shiny and silk smooth. Her make-up was on point with intense cat eyes. Urbana remembered how much she loved cats when they were younger. Her clothes were stylish and probably aren’t suited for the January cold. Susie was also doing that thing that always confused Urbana that people do sometimes when they’re talking to someone they perceive as attractive, having their butts sticking out and playing with their hair.

“No. We don’t mind,” Urbana answered.

Beetlejuice pulled up a lose chair from a neighboring table and Susie sat down while giving Urbana a once over glance. Then Susie and Beetlejuice started talking with each other while Urbana continued to read her book and eat at the same time. Eventually, Susie was saying her goodbyes to Beetlejuice, and she was moving to give him her phone number when she bumped Urbana’s drink onto her Deadpool shirt and blue jeans.

“Oh no!” Susie said. She sounded insincere to Urbana. “Let me go get you some napkins.” Then Susie ran off in a light jog.

“At least my backpack and books are safe and good thing it’s just water, but I love this shirt,” Urbana said.

“Allow me,” Beetlejuice said. Then he snapped his fingers and a big cartoony hairdryer came up and blew Urbana’s clothes dry. Then it disappeared.

Urbana looked around at the crowded cafeteria then said, “How do people not notice shit like that?”

“You know how people can be. They see what they want to see,” Beetlejuice said while scratching the inside of his ear.

Susie came over holding one napkin and she said, “I’m sorry, this is all I could… Are you already dry?”

“Yep,” Urbana said.

“How?”

“Well, you see, the water felt embarrassed to be on me, so it evaporated away. It couldn’t handle how hot and sexy I am,” Urbana said in a deadpan voice.

Beetlejuice snorted into his hand as he tried not to laugh.

“Ha. Ha, ha. Ha,” Susie said as she looked between the two adults suspiciously, “I’ll just leave this here then.” She placed the one napkin down on the table and then she gave Beetlejuice her phone number and said, “Call me later tonight, Bobby. Unless your girlfriend here has a problem with it.” Then she left.

“She’s the fourth person today to think we’re dating, do we really look that couple-ly,” Beetlejuice aske Urbana.

Urbana shrugged and said, “Hell if I know. The only thing I know about romance is through media and my parents. In that context, two adults just have to breath in the same room for people to assume their dating.”

“That’s annoying,” he said.

Urbana agreed.

For the rest of the day Beetlejuice followed Urbana to her British Lit. class, her American Lit. class, and finally her Choir class.

Once Choir class was over, Beetlejuice said, “Fucking finally. This is your last class, right?”

“Yes.”

“Can we go home now?”

“No.”

“Awe, come on,” Beetlejuice said, “We’ve been here all day.”

While Urbana and Beetlejuice were heading for the school library, Urbana said, “If you’re going to complain like this I might as well get kidnapped.”

“Don’t say that,” Beetlejuice said as he shifted her backpack onto his other shoulder.

“Well, I don’t know what you want from me, Beetlejuice,” Urbana said, “The only thing missing from your college persona is you actually participating in the college structure.”

“… Yah. I guess that’s true,” Beetlejuice said.

When Beetlejuice opened the door to the library for her, he asked, “So how long do you plan on staying here?”

“Three hours, tops,” Urbana said.

Beetlejuice groaned.

Urbana did all of her homework that she had to work on, practiced her singing for the songs that Jammana wanted her to learn for the band, and she practice her fencing hand gestures to which Beetlejuice happily helped with. Then, like she promised, they left the library and headed home on time.

While they were walking to her car, Beetlejuice asked, “Why do you even practice fencing? It’s not like you’re in any kind of tournament or whatever.”

Then Urbana gushed to him about how excited she’ll be to see Gomez’s face when they can sword fight again, and how surprised he’ll be about how smooth her hand movement is despite her rusty foot work and she’ll be all like, I know.

The two of them continued to talk but they were interrupted by the sound of a gun being cocked and someone clearing their throat. Skulker was sitting on the hood of her car while the streetlamp light was shining down on him. His green eyes glowing through the dark shadow of his face.

“Hey, Skulker. You look shinier. You wearing new gear and armor?” Urbana asked him while Beetlejuice stood in front of her.

“Yah, thanks to you,” Skulker said as he shouldered his gun, “Do you know how hard it is to find gear like this in the ghost zone?”

“I do not. I’m surprised you came here. I plan on making good on my promise despite how angry I was at the time,” Urbana told him, “Though, I personally won’t be able to do it.”

Beetlejuice cackled and said, “Oh, I would love to.”

“And I would love to start the hunt with you both,” Skulker said as he slid off her car hood, “But I’m not here for that, yet. I’ve come to tell you, Urbana, that Vlad has placed a bounty on your head in the ghost zone.”

“I’m flattered,” Urbana said, “But why not try your luck now?”

He slowly walked up to them as he said, “For starters, you have a pretty powerful ally as your personal bodyguard, who I would _love _to hang on my trophy walls,” Then he stood before Beetlejuice, really close, he towered above the two of them, and he leaned in over Beetlejuice to say to Urbana, “And I enjoy the thrill of the chase. I love to watch my prey struggle, and run, and plea with me before I finish the blow. I can’t do that with you if you’re already crippled.”

“Oh,” Urbana squeaked.

“Alright, that’s it,” Beetlejuice said as he snapped his fingers and made a giant rubber mallet appear then he hit Skulker with it.

Skulker flew across the parking lot and landed hard on the asphalt, the two of them could hear him laughing as he stood back up.

“Stay uncaptured long enough for me to be able to capture you,” Skulker yelled before disappearing like mist.

“Let’s get you home,” Beetlejuice said.

“Yah,” was all Urbana could say.

The drive home was silent and when they got to the mansion, they both felt a bit safer. Once they were inside, Urbana called a family meeting in the living room and told everyone about what happened at school.

“Oh, you poor thing,” Morticia said as she pulled Urbana into a hug while they were sitting on the couch together, “You must have been terrified.”

Urbana, voice muffled by Morticia’s bosom, said, “I was also kind of excited by it and I don’t know how I feel about that.”

“I don’t think now is a good time for you to be discovering your inner adrenaline junk-y,” Liz said.

“I don’t know, maybe it is,” Gomez said, “Adrenaline will help her go farther faster for when she’s running for her life.”

“When she can run,” Abe added.

“At least we know about this now,” Jack said, “We’ll need to make readjustments to the ghost barrier we set up. I only calibrated it to deflect my old pal. Now we’ll have to make sure it works on all ghosts.”

“Does that mean we can’t do séances anymore?” Pugsley asked.

“I’m sorry, but it looks like it,” Jack said.

“I’ve never seen us go without a séance before,” Wednesday said.

“Don’t worry about it too much,” Grandmama said to the kids, “Time is hard for a ghost to keep track of, especially in the Neitherworld. They won’t notice any differences.”

“I’m sorry, everyone,” Urbana said as she kept resting her head on Morticia’s chest, “I wish I could make this all go away.”

“Hey, don’t worry yourself about that,” Fester said, “Life gets tough and the best thing we can do is just make it easier for each other. That’s all we really can do.”

Morticia nodded her head in agreement as she continued to embrace Urbana and pat her head.

“I know, but still,” Urbana said.

They all sat in silence for a bit, contemplating their next plan of action and what the future will bring them.

“Are we still planning on going on vacation?” Urbana asked.

“Of course,” Gomez said, “In stressful times like these, we should do all kinds of enjoyable things.”

Beetlejuice tapped Urbana’s head and she looked up at him to see him smiling smugly.

“Are you enjoying yourself,” Beetlejuice said, trying to make a lesbian joke.

Urbana knew he was talking about her resting on Morticia, but she didn’t understand that he was implying anything, so she said, “Yes. It reminds me of when my Mom was alive, and I miss doing this with her.” Then she laid her head back onto Morticia’s bosom.

Beetlejuice instantly felt bad about her strained relationship with her parents, and also because his joke wasn’t even understood. Grandmama waved him over and whispered to him.

“I tried that same exact joke with her when my boy was holding her in his arms,” Grandmama said, “Now she refers to Hellboy as her Dad friend. I was trying to be a wing man bit that backfired horribly.”

Beetlejuice laughed and he felt better.

# # #

Grandmama was leading the way through the deepest part of the forest while Urbana and Beetlejuice followed behind her, with Beetlejuice holding the basket of goodies Grandmama had made.

It was a long walk and Urbana was thinking about how even though, Jack, Abe, and Liz have made the mansion a ghost free zone, she was still being annoyed and bothered by the bounty hunters at her school. Ember McLain interrupted her morning classes, one day. Youngblood decided to just hang out in front of her home, some other day. Then the Lunch Lady ruined her only time to get a real meal at school and she tried to force feed her meat. Then recently the Fright Knight appeared saying he wants the money to help his king rebuild his castle, but Urbana was so tired and frustrated by all the ghosts, that she managed to push him away with her force of will, and with a lot of help from Beetlejuice.

“Okay, we’re here,” Grandmama said.

The two of them looked around the clearing in the woods. There was a little mound in the middle surrounded by white mushrooms, and it was clear of any kind of forest debris with short green grass growing only within the confines of the mushroom ring.

“Woah, a fairy ring,” Urbana said, having only read about them in fairytales and mythology books.

“What’s a fairy doing in America,” Beetlejuice asked.

Grandmama just smiled at them then she called out to the mound, “Morgan. It’s Joy.”

Yellow light spilled out of the mound like golden flowers then Morgan appeared. Their long blond hair and elegance suggested that they may be female, but their sharp facial features and defined musculature suggested male. The only thing covering their body was their own long hair and they looked unaffected by the cold. Their eyes were yellow and cat like, making them look even less human despite their human appearance. Overall Urbana was confused at the sight of them, but she didn’t let that bother her for long, because she was most interested in their name.

“Are you _The _Morgan, like Morgan le Fay?” Urbana asked them.

They laughed, their voice not giving away what gender they could be either, then they said, “No. Morgan was a popular name to give to fay children. I happened to have just been born when it was at the height of its popularity. You flatter me by comparing me to such a renowned woman.”

“How have you been, Morgan,” Grandmama asked.

“Wonderful. The different moth eggs I’m caring for are holding out beautifully in their hibernation states,” Morgan said, then added, “Though I suppose you aren’t here for small talk.”

“Unfortunately, not,” Grandmama said as she motioned Beetlejuice to come forward, “My family and I will be leaving on vacation and we’ll be gone for a month. Here are all of my offerings to you that’ll last for the next month and two weeks.”

Their cat eyes widened into two black moons as they took hold of the basket that held all of Grandmama’s goodies.

“Awe, you made me tomato bread,” Morgan said as they pulled it out and breathed in its smell, “You spoil me rotten, Joy.”

“Grandmama, are you in trouble with the fairies or something,” Urbana asked her. She didn’t even know that Grandmama was giving offerings to a fairy.

“What? Oh, no Dear,” Grandmama said, “They’re just an old friend I made before I retired from the B.P.R.D. It’s a long story.”

“The offerings are more of a formality by fay law to get me to stay here,” Morgan said, “Technically, the Addams family property is my prison. I love it here so much though, that it doesn’t really feel like a prison.”

“They help care for the property and they’re the reason why I’m able to catch at least one animal for diner every day,” Grandmama said.

“And you’re the reason why the trees have such a sudden shift in greenery,” Urbana said.

They chuckled and said, “That’s correct. I just hate transition periods like fall and spring and I just love the color green. I make the trees do what I want. I wasn’t allowed to do that back home.”

“Cool,” Urbana said.

“Thank you for all of your hard work, Morgan,” Grandmama said, “I’ll visit you when we get back from our vacation.”

“Oh, don’t go just yet,” Morgan said, “Young lady, why don’t you come closer. I can fix your ankle up real quick.”

“Oh, thank you, but no thank you,” Urbana said, feeling a bit uncomfortable, “I don’t know what you want from me in return for the healing, and I’m having enough trouble already from the ghosts in my life. Again, thank you, but no thank you.”

Morgan gave Urbana a toothy, cat-like grin, then said to Grandmama, “Joy, is she your new little protégé. Is Morticia or Wednesday not up to snuff anymore?”

“No to both,” Grandmama said with a smile, “Urbana’s just a smart girl armed with the stories of any culture she can get her hands on and as for my girls, well, they’re both following their own paths. Maybe you’ll see my grandson next time I visit you.”

As they all left the clearing, Urbana asked, “Why _did _you bring me to visit them?”

“Well, I’m an old woman who needed help carrying her items through the woods,” Grandmama said, she then thanked Beetlejuice for his help, then she continued to say, “And they’re my friend and it’s good for them to meet new people since they’re not allowed to leave the property. Also, I thought you’d love the idea of meeting a fairy before we left for our vacation since you’ve been having such a hard month.”

“Do you think I can go visit them on my own so I can interview them,” Urbana asked.

“I should go with you, but I know they won’t be opposed to your questions,” Grandmama said.

Urbana felt giddy at the idea and she said, “Thanks for taking me out.”

“Do you think they’re single,” Beetlejuice asked.

“Please don’t,” Grandmama said.

Urbana then listened to the two of them argue over Beetlejuice’s chases of getting with Morgan as they walked through the woods.


	19. Vacation Time

It was February and Urbana was sending her Valentine to her father early before they leave for their flight tomorrow morning. It was a drawing of a bleeding, anatomically correct heart laying on a counter, surrounded by morning glory flowers, poppy flowers, and forget-me-nots. As she was putting her mail in the mailbox, Hilda, pulled up to the driveway and offered Urbana a ride back up and she accepted.

“Thanks again for agreeing to take care of Gizmo, Thing, and Pugsley’s spiders for us while we’re gone,” Urbana told Hilda.

“It’s no problem at all,” Hilda said as she pulled into the front yard of the mansion, “How’s your ankle feeling?”

While getting out of her car, Urbana said, “It still hurts when I put pressure on it but it’s not unbearable and I can walk using only one crutch now.”

“So I see,” Hilda said as she walked ahead of Urbana to hold the door open for her.

Grandmama was on the phone with Maddie, who was arguing with her mother about leaving the house despite the threat of the family situation, and Grandmama was reassuring her daughter about the strength and endurance of her ghost repellent charms and potions.

“I’ll go get Gizmo. Thing is around here somewhere,” Urbana told Hilda.

Urbana climbed the stairs and passed Lurch who was carrying her luggage downstairs so he could put it into the Addams family car. Gizmo was on her computer watching an online movie.

“Hey, my little Furby. Are you ready to go on your own vacation?” Urbana asked him.

Gizmo made an excited, plrrr, sound and he climbed up to his cage on the fireplace mantle and closed the door behind him. Urbana then went over to him and covered his bird cage with the yellow baby blanket and picked it up with her free hand. When she made it back down to the first floor, Pugsley was giving Hilda a list of things she’ll need to do to properly care for his spiders. All the while Thing was tapdancing on her head.

“Here’s Gizmo,” Urbana said as she handed her the bird cage, “There are three things you’ve got to remember; don’t let sunlight touch him, keep him away from water, and don’t feed him after midnight.”

“What happens if I do any of those on accident,” Hilda asked.

Urbana shrugged and said, “No idea, but I don’t want to find out since he’s a demon. I’ve fed him at five in the morning one time and nothing happened to him so I’m sure it’s safe to feed him at five in the morning. I also give him juice and milk to drink since he can’t have water.”

“Understood,” Hilda said.

“Please take good care of our friends,” Pugsley said.

“I will Dear,” Hilda said as she patted her Grand-nephew’s head.

# # #

After a thirteen-hour flight and a two- and half-hour drive, the Addams family made it to Hotel Transylvania. The hotel was a giant, extravagant, castle surrounded by a deep dark mote that Urbana couldn’t see through, but she could tell by the slight rippling of the surface of the water that there was something in it. Normal humans and monsters of every shape and size were crossing the bridge by walking or by personal drivers. Everything had an air of welcoming creepiness, like going into a fun house.

Walking inside, everything was huge and elaborate, and the whole thing looked like it was hundreds of years old. There were hanging chandeliers and wall candelabras and crush red velvet chairs and a lobby fireplace that’s big enough to fit a car in it.

“Oh, wow,” Urbana said.

“I know,” Grandmama said, “Frank and I went here on our honeymoon.”

While the Addams family were checking in at the front desk, a twelve-year-old boy with orange curly hair and fangs sticking out of his mouth approached them and said, “Hello, welcome to Hotel Transylvania. May your night be sweet and your stay even sweeter.”

“Oh my gosh, you must be Dennis,” Grandmama cooed at the boy.

“Um, yes ma’am,” Dennis said.

“Hi, Dennis,” Morticia said, “I’m a long-distance friend to your mom Mavis, and my Mom here is a longtime friend of your Grandpa.”

“Oh, you are,” Dennis said, “I’ll go find Grandpa then.” The little boy then transformed into a black bat with orange curly hair on top of his head and he flew off.”

“Oh, cool, a vampire,” Urbana said.

“Puh-leeze,” a floating pair of glasses said, “I’m much cooler.”

“Are you an invisible person,” Urbana asked the floating glasses.

“Indeed, I am,” He said, “The name’s Griffin. How yah doin’?”

“So, are all of your clothes except for your glasses invisible?” Urbana asked.

“No,” Griffin said.

“If your clothes aren’t invisible, does that mean you’re completely naked right now,” Pugsley asked.

“Yesss,” Griffin said, sounding uncomfortable.

“Since you’re invisible and you’re not wearing any clothes, does that mean you’re going around laying your exposed dick on things that shouldn’t have dick on it,” Wednesday then asked him.

All three kids glared at Griffin’s glasses.

“Okay, I think I should go now,” Griffin said and the three of them watched the glasses bob away as he ran.

There was a low pitched nasally laugh as a bat swooped down and transformed into a seven-foot-tall man with slicked black hair in a casual black dress suit with a black cape.

“You really got him on the run, kids,” Dracula said, “I haven’t seen him get that embarrassed since he first turned invisible.”

“Hello, Dracula,” Grandmama said, “You look good.”

“Joy! I haven’t seen you since you, your husband, and daughters came here for Mavis’s 118th birthday party,” Dracula said as he shook her hand, “You haven’t changed a bit.”

“Oh, stop it, you old flirt,” Grandmama laughed, “I hear you’re a married man again.”

“Happily, so,” Dracula said, “I’ll tell you all about it later, but first let me meet your grandkids first.”

Dracula crouched down and said to Pugsley, “You look to be the same age as my little Tarantula.”

Pugsley gasped and said, “Do you love spiders?”

“I absolutely love them. Spiders make the best doilies,” Dracula said.

“Is there a spider monster here?” Pugsley asked.

“Of course, every type of monster and human are welcome here,” Dracula said.

Pugsley shook Wednesday’s arm in his excitement.

“Yes, I know. Spiders,” Wednesday said.

“And I see your as unflappable as your mother was when she was your age,” Dracula said to Wednesday, “I haven’t seen you since you were inside her and I see you’re going to be someone’s new big sister soon too.”

“Yep,” Wednesday said.

“Based on your grandmother’s letters you’re a woman who likes a mystery,” Dracula said, “The hotel has several types of games that we provide for adults and children alike. You’re welcome to check them out.”

“I think I will,” Wednesday said.

“And you must be Urbana, the new tenant of the Addams family home,” Dracula said extending his hand out to her, “Nice to meet you.”

Urbana grabbed his hand to shake it but as soon as she touched him, he howled in pain like he got burnt. When he took his hand back and looked at it, there was a hand mark from where Urbana’s hand was, then he got a good look at her and asked, “Are you glowing?”

“Welp, that’s another new thing about me that I know now,” Urbana said out loud.

Grandmama took his arm and said, “Come on Drack. Let’s go to the kitchen and run some cold water on that.”

The two of them left and a zombie bellboy walked up to them and said he’d lead them to their rooms. Wednesday, Pugsley, and Urbana would share a room, Morticia and Grandmama would share a room, and Lurch, Fester, and Gomez would share a room. All three of their rooms were on the same floor and next door to each other.

Once all of their luggage was in their room, Urbana asked the bellboy to lead her to the kitchen since she wanted to apologize to Dracula. The zombie bellboy complied.

As she entered the kitchen the place was packed with all kinds of chiefs doing their jobs. Thanks to her background in working for Olive Garden, Urbana easily and smoothly navigated the large and hot kitchen, despite her bad ankle and crutch, and found Grandmama and Dracula.

“Dear, what are you doing all the way down here,” Grandmama said, “You should be unpacking and checking out the pool.”

“I just wanted to apologize to Mr. Dracula,” Urbana said to her then she turned to Dracula and said, “I’m sorry sir, for burning you. If I had known I could do that I wouldn’t have tried to shake your hand.”

“I appreciate your apology, Urbana. Joy here, has been telling me about your abilities,” Dracula said as he held his burnt hand to his chest, “You seem to have a strange effect on all of the undead and I have a lot of undead guests. So please be careful around them.”

“I will do my best,” Urbana said.

“Now, is there anything I can do for one of my favorite guests,” Dracula asked.

“Well, I have a question,” Urbana said then asked, “Are you _the_ Dracula, like in the books?”

Dracula pulled a card out of his breast pocket then handed it to Urbana. On the card it said, _No, I am not the fictional Dracula in the books or any media. Dracula just happened to be a popular name at the time of my birth. Please stop comparing me to that murderer._

“I’m sorry I asked,” Urbana said.

“Yah, I get it a lot ever since I’ve let humans stay at the hotel. It’s quicker this way,” Dracula said, “Have a good evening, Ladies.” Then he rushed off like he was the Roadrunner on Loony Toons.

# # #

Wednesday was off doing an advanced scavenger hunt with Morticia. Pugsley was with Gomez at the pool. Fester was at the bar playing a trivia game. Lurch and Grandmama were walking a lap around the hotel moat. So, Urbana decided that she was going to hang out in the lobby and interview the undead since it’s a rare opportunity for her to better understand herself and them since she’s only ever had experience with ghosts.

She talked with the zombie bellboys and they told her how rare it is for someone to actually understand them, even among other monsters they can still be ignored because they can’t talk like everyone else. They allowed her to give them a test touch and the zombies told her that her touch felt warmer than most living, but it didn’t hurt them and that they could see her golden glow.

Urbana talked with the skeletons who were super chatty and talked to her like she was a confessional. Urbana learned that they have an easier time talking to normal people because they use magic to help them translate. When Urbana asked why the zombies haven’t used that magic, they said that zombies are too slow for conventional magic, and they didn’t mean mentally, they are physically too slow for the magic to properly translate for them. The skeletons allowed her to give them a test touch and they said they felt nothing but that they had a flashback feeling from before they were enchanted and were just normal skeletons. They could also see her golden glow.

Urbana was lining up to talk to some ghouls that she had seen pass by when she got interrupted by a mummy and a big guy with bolts in his neck.

“Hey, little sister,” the mummy said, “Heard you’re interviewing the undead. How about you interview us. I’m Murray and this is Franky.”

“Well, that depends on the big guy here, is he truly an undead,” Urbana said, “Cause you’re a Frankenstein’s Monster, right?”

“I am based on the book, which is why my name is Frankenstein, but I came into being after the book was written” Franky said.

“Interesting,” Urbana said, “Then as a person who is a bunch of body parts sewn together and turned sentient, can you really call yourself undead? Sure, you’re made from other people’s dead body parts, but you are more than the sum of your parts, right?”

“I… Oh, wow. This is philosophy that I wasn’t ready for,” Franky said as he scratched his head.

“That’s fine then,” Urbana said, “May I touch your hand to see if you feel any affect from me?”

Frankenstein allowed her to put her two fingers on the palm of his hand and she asked him if he felt anything, he said no. Then when she asked him if he could see her golden glow, he said no.

“You can’t see it,” Murray said, “She shines like the Egyptian sun over the Libyan Desert.”

“Okay,” Urbana said, “that answered that question. I’m safe for you to accidentally brush against me, but it worries me that you see my glow so brightly. Only ghosts can see it like that and especially when I’m angry and/or upset.”

“You don’t seem upset,” Franky said.

“And I’m not, so I’m worried about the affect I’ll have on Mr. Mummy.”

“Please call me Murray,” he said.

Urbana asked if she could touch Murray’s hand. He allowed it and when she placed her two fingers on his hand, Murray grabbed her hand and pulled her into a hug.

“You remind me of home,” Murray said.

Urbana didn’t feel like her energy was being drained like a ghost could do to her, but she did feel uncomfortable from the hug.

“Okay, then. I induce nostalgia in mummies,” Urbana said out loud.

Murray gasped then ran off yelling, “Hello, Scarlet!”

Urbana saw that it was a demon that Murray was running towards. She looked humanoid, with bright red hair and pointy horns sprouting out of her forehead proudly, with leathery bat wings closed and pulled in tight to her back. When she looked at Urbana and Franky’s direction, Urbana locked eyes with her and saw into her soul.

She saw their most important parts of life in Hell, she saw their escape from Hell, she saw their struggle to survive in the human realm flipflopping between a male and female prostitute, and she saw her being hired by Dracula to be an escort/entertainer here. When Urbana came out of it, Scarlet looked like she was embarrassed and quickly dragged Murray away with her. Urbana felt a bit lightheaded and leaned on her crutch heavily.

“Are you okay,” Franky asked.

“Yah. I just wasn’t expecting to see a demon here,” Urbana said.

“Oh, yah, Scarlet’s been here since Mavis left to see the world with Johnny,” Franky said, “Since she’s a succubus, Drack thought her abilities would help make human integration go smoother.”

“I guess that makes sense,” Urbana said as her lightheadedness passed, “I think I’m done talking with strangers for today. I’m going to go to the buffet.”

“Oh, I love the buffet. I’ll join you. I’ll probably find Eunice there too,” Franky said.

# # #

Urbana was laying on a long lawn chair by the hotel pool while she was watching and sketching the rest of the Addams family playing in the pool. Some monsters were singing on the karaoke machine at the far reaches of the pool area and the sound of kids yelling and having fun overpowered the music.

Pugsley yelled, “Urbana! Watch this!”

I giant tentacle shot up into the air with Pugsley on it and Urbana watched him jump off it and do three front flips before hitting the water with a big splash. Once he resurface, Pugsley looked to Urbana.

Urbana clapped and said, “Truly amazing, Pugsley!”

“I bet I can do better,” Wednesday said.

The tentacle picked her up and she did an elegant nosedive into the water and barely made a splash. Urbana clapped just as hard for Wednesday as she did for Pugsley.

“You kids are wild,” Urbana told them.

Pugsley gave Urbana a huge smile while Wednesday gave her a small one. Then Gomez jumped out of the water and started attacking his kids with pool noodles while the rest of the family cheered them on.

Urbana went back to sketching them when Urbana saw a man with horns and bright red hair and bat like wings on his back, sit next to her in a long lawn chair and they laid down in a suggestively sexy pose.

“How are you doing, Mr. Scarlet,” Urbana asked him.

Now that Urbana has seen two demons in her life, well, a half-demon and a demon-demon, she now sees how cartoonish looking demons look. With pure black eyes and his bleach white skin dotted with patches of bright red and speckled with black dots all over his body. Urbana knew they can make themselves look more human, but she thought that maybe demons look cartoony to her because she isn’t used to seeing them.

“You leave me at a disadvantage, Madam,” Scarlet said, “You know my name, but I don’t know yours.”

Urbana sat down her sketchbook and pencils, thinking this was going to take a while, then she extended her hand out to Scarlet and said, “I’m Urbana. Nice to meet you sir.”

He sat up and shook her hand.

“So, since you ran away from me the other day in embarrassment, are you here to ask me for my silence or are you less worried about that and more curious about what happened to you,” Urbana asked him.

“Oh! You got me,” Scarlet said as he stretched, acting like he wasn’t showing off his sculptured swimming body.

“Well, then don’t worry about me saying anything to anyone about you. Your history is your own. I may know it but it’s not my right to tell anyone about it,” Urbana said, “Does that make you feel better.”

Scarlet stopped trying to look sexy in front of her and seemed to actually relax as he said, “Yes… I do. Thank you.”

“No problem,” Urbana said, “I wasn’t expecting to dive into another demon’s soul while I was on vacation either.”

“I have no soul,” he said, sounding very serious.

“Ha! That’s not true in the slightest,” Urbana said, smiling at how ridiculous he was being. Like a goth kid trying too hard to be goth.

Scarlet was confused, he’s never been told that he has a soul, and it goes against everything he’s ever known. Uncomfortable he changed the subject.

“You don’t seem interested at all in my male form,” Scarlet said, “I can change.”

Urbana just shrugged as Scarlet transformed themselves to look like their voluptuous female persona that Urbana saw the other day.

“Feel anything now,” Scarlet asked, as she was trying to gage Urbana’s sexual attraction.

Urbana shrugged again then said, “I’m fine with whatever you feel most comfortable being in. I don’t think any form you take will make me feel uncomfortable. So feel free to take whatever form you want.”

Scarlet stared at Urbana in disbelief. She’s trying her damnedest to be sexy and get Urbana all riled up for her, but she just sits there like a sack of potatoes. This is her first time dealing with anyone like Urbana.

Scarlet deflated her female form and made her face look sharper to give herself a more neutral female look, and she kept her high-pitched voice.

“Man, I’m so jealous of you. You can wear whatever clothes you want with your shape shifting abilities. I have to take forever to find proper pants since I’m like a string bean from my ankles to my knees and then I have ham shaped thighs and a car bumper butt. Do you know how many pants I go through from just my body rubbing against itself, a lot,” Urbana said.

Scarlet whole-heartedly laughed, not because she was being malicious, but because she imagined a Beetle car driving around with ham as its wheels. Urbana was glad that she was laughing, considering she thought she seemed so tense.

# # #

Urbana was hobbling around looking for the perfect spot to practice drawing the furniture and rooms of the hotel. Her phone rang and she saw that it was her Aunt Jane again.

She picked up and said, “Aunt Jane? Why are you calling me?”

There was a lot of static and it was like trying to listen to someone through a wall. Urbana saw a balcony and hobbled over it to stand outside.

“Are you still there?” Urbana asked.

“Urbana… there? It’s... He… car... Urbana?... Hello?...,” Aunt Jane said.

“Yes, I’m still here, but I can’t understand you,” Urbana said.

Urbana was answered by only static, so she hung up. The signal sucked at the hotel, but Urbana was sure that her Aunt was just trying to get a hold of Lurch and thought she could bypass the static by calling her.

Someone yelled boo at her from behind, startled, she dropped everything and used her crutch like a bat and knocked Beetlejuice’s head off.

She gasped and said, “I am so sorry!”

Beetlejuice couldn’t help but laugh as his head slid down the wall and sat on the floor.

“The look on your face was priceless,” Beetlejuice said from the floor and his body doubled over.

“Okay,” Urbana said as she limped over to his head, “Har, har. You’re hilarious.” She then picked up his head and put it back on his body then she asked, “What are you even doing here? I thought you were playing cat and mouse with those ghosts who are trying to get me?”

He took a moment to breath then he said, “Yah, I was, but Pugsley summoned me, wanting someone to play with him, since Wednesday didn’t want to hang out with him and he couldn’t find you.”

“And what about the murder ghosts back home,” Urbana asked him.

“Eh, they found out you were gone like a week after you guys left,” Beetlejuice said, “They still don’t know where you are.”

Urbana started to pick up her stuff, but Beetlejuice snapped his fingers and made her sketching supplies and phone float in front of her and Urbana grabbed them out of the air.

“Thanks,” she said.

“No problem,” he replied.

Continuing to hobble along, with Beetlejuice following her, Urbana told him about how her vacation was going and how she was enjoying herself.

“And you met another demon,” Beetlejuice asked and when she confirmed he then asked, “Are they hot?”

“As far as I know, they have no fire powers,” Urbana said.

“No, no. I mean, are they sexy,” Beetlejuice asked.

“Well, they look pretty,” Urbana said, “I’d draw them if they wanted me to.”

He sighed then said, “You’re hopeless.”

“Oh no. You’re the twelfth person to see through my facade of hopefulness,” Urbana said, referencing a cartoon but also trying to be funny.

Urbana felt a rumbling through her feet as something came storming down the hallways. Coming up behind them was a giant black dog and she knew it was Dennis’s hellhound, Tinkles, and behind Tinkles were three dozen werewolf children happily chasing the giant dog. Urbana only had a split second to flatten herself against the wall before she got herself trampled so Beetlejuice pushed her to the wall before he was caught by the wave of dogs. It was only for a couple of seconds, but it was like hanging onto a tree in the middle of an avalanche. Once they were gone, all of the furniture was knocked over or skewed, the tapestries were knocked down to the floor, there was mud on the rugs, and candles were blown out making her surroundings darker than usual.

“Kids,” a man, desperately and tiredly called out, “You can’t. Run. In the. Halls!”

Urbana turned on her phone light and saw a werewolf man in a dirty white dress shirt, a black tie and black pants. Drool was coming out of his mouth as he was panting.

“Man, I feel tired just looking at you,” Urbana said, “Is there any way I can help?”

“Not unless. You’re. César Felipe Millán Favela,” the werewolf man said.

Urbana felt the rumbling again and she grabbed the werewolf and dragged him to the wall. Through the light on her phone, the two of them saw Beetlejuice riding Tinkles and everyone howled as they stormed past them.

“Oh, no,” Urbana said.

“Who was that,” the werewolf man asked.

“An agent of chaos that’s who,” Urbana said as she started to hobble after them, “Come on.”

They followed them to the lobby and watched from the top of the stairs, as they made a mess of everything. Beetlejuice was playing tug-o-war with three of the werewolf pups using a throw pillow. A few pups were chasing down the skeletons, some were hanging from the chandeliers, and the rest were chasing the hellhound in circles. Urbana was about to scold Beetlejuice when everything became frozen.

“Wayne, did your kids get into the candy bowls again,” Dracula asked as he flew down, transformed, and landed beside them in his humanoid form.

“Yah, sorry about that,” the werewolf man said, “Before I could stop them, they had already eaten the bowls.”

“Yo, what’s going on,” Beetlejuice yelled at them from the lobby.

“You’re in trouble mister,” Urbana told him.

“Wait, I froze everyone,” Drack said, “Is he a ghost?”

“The one and only,” Beetlejuice said as he flew up to them and bowed before them, “We were just having a little fun.”

Dracula face palmed and sighed.

“Beetlejuice, we’re not at home, you can’t do this kind of thing here,” Urbana scolded.

“Awe, come on Toots. You know I clean up after myself,” Beetlejuice said.

“That’s not the point,” Urbana said, “There is a time and a place for rough housing and you know it,” then she yelled down at the kids in the lobby, “You all know it.”

“Ugh, fine. I’ll clean everything up,” he said as he was about to snap his fingers. Urbana put her hand on top of his and stopped him.

“Oh, no you don’t,” Urbana said, “You’re cleaning this up the old-fashioned way.”

“What! No!,” Beetlejuice said.

“Ah, ah, ah. You won’t be doing it alone. It took an army for you to make this mess, and you’ll have an army to clean it.”

He sighed then said, “Okay.”

“Now kids,” Urbana said as she addressed the werewolf pups, “I want to hear every one of you apologize to Dracula for your behavior and you will help my good friend here clean up the mess you made.”

Urbana then motioned for Dracula to unfreeze them. He did and the three dozen pups all said they were sorry. Beetlejuice then made cleaning supplies appear and passed them around before he and the pups started cleaning.

“Wow,” Wayne said.

Urbana realized what she had just done, and she said to him, “I am so sorry sir, I just inserted myself into the situation. I didn’t mean to step on your toes.”

“Do you think you could babysit for me and Wanda,” Wayne asked.

“No, I have way too many responsibilities of my own, adding children into the mix will make my life more of a disaster than it already is, and your children don’t deserve that,” Urbana said.

Wayne then got on his knees and grabbed her shirt and said, “Please be our babysitter!”

Dracula got in between them and told him, “Wayne. Please. You’re embarrassing yourself. Go relax by the pool or something.”

Whining, he dragged his feet as he walked away.

“You did good today,” Drack told her.

“Thanks,” she said.

For the rest of that day Urbana kept an eye on Beetlejuice to make sure he finished his cleaning before he went home.

# # #

Urbana, Pugsley, and Wednesday successfully exited one of the five escape-the-room games and they had five minutes left on the fifteen minute clock timer.

Hi-fiving each other, Urbana said, “Good job guys. We beat our record again.”

“Imagine what kind of unstoppable team we’ll be when our baby brother/sister is born,” Pugsley said.

“I don’t know,” Wednesday said.

“What do you mean,” Pugsley asked.

“Well, I find you annoying sometimes, but I know you enough to get annoyed,” Wednesday said, “When our new sibling turns three years old I’ll be gone for college and when they turn five you’ll be in college. They won’t have any memories of us. We’ll be nothing more than just a fact, instead of family.”

“Oh,” Pugsley said, “I never thought about it.”

“Woah! Hey, hey, hey now,” Urbana said, “That’s a lot of baggage there. We should sit down for this.”

The three of them walked away from the game area and sat in a hallway against the wall.

“Now, are you just saying this because you’re afraid you won’t have a connection with your youngest sibling,” Urbana asked Wednesday.

She just shrugged and said, “I guess. I mean, they’re going to grow and change and experience the world in such a different way.”

“Now that I think about it,” Pugsley said, “All I’ve ever known is having a sibling. I can’t imagine being alone while also still having people out in the world that are your siblings.”

“What if we’re not in their lives enough,” Wednesday said, “What if we get so absorbed in our own stuff that we fail to make a connection with them.”

“What if they grow up thinking they’re alone,” Pugsley said.

“Okay guys, slow down,” Urbana said, “It’s nice that you’re worried, but you really don’t have to think this hard about it.”

“How can you be so sure,” Pugsley said.

Urbana wrapped an arm around each of their shoulders and pulled them in to her. Then she took a deep slow breath in, then a deep slow breath out.

“It’s true that I grew up as a single child and that I don’t really know what it’s like growing up with someone in the same household,” Urbana said, “But you are both kind and supportive children with your own strange oddities. I know that you two will make every effort to be in your sibling’s life and even if you two feel unsure about it, know that I have complete faith in you both.”

“You really think so,” Pugsley asked.

“I’m so sure that when they’re old enough, I know they’ll know you two enough to be annoyed,” Urbana said.

Wednesday and Pugsley chuckled.

“Do you two feel better now,” Urbana asked them.

“A little,” Wednesday said.

“I hope it’s a boy,” Pugsley said.

“Then I hope it’s a girl,” Wednesday rebutted.

“Well, with that settled. Please help me up,” Urbana said, and they did.

# # #

Urbana was sitting at a dinner table in the buffet with Scarlet. They were using their voluptuous female form as they were eating together.

“Thank you for inviting me to dinner,” Scarlet said, “I’m surprised you’re not eating with your family.”

“Eh, it’s fine. Grandmama and Morticia are in their room taking a nap. Fester and Lurch are participating in a Dart Board Contest in the bar and Gomez and the kids wanted to explore the village that was close by, so they’ll all be tired when they get back,” Urbana said.

“So that leaves you to eat alone,” Scarlet said before she took a bight out of her steak.

“I’m sorry if it’s weird for you,” Urbana said, “You’re the only other person here who I know well enough to not feel uncomfortable around, and I really do appreciate you eating with me. It’s nicer sharing a meal than eating alone.

“Not at all,” Scarlet said, “I was actually hoping you’d come talk with me more.”

“Oh, really? Lucky you then,” Urbana said, “What did you want to talk about, specifically?”

Urbana felt her leg brush against hers and she immediately retracted her legs and apologized.

Scarlet giggled then said, “I’ll be performing a show tomorrow night and I’d like to invite you.” Then she placed a ticket on the table in front of her.

Urbana picked it up and said, “Can I invite my family.”

“Mmm, well, it’s a dance show and it’s for adults only,” Scarlet said.

“Ah, I see. So the kids won’t be able to participate,” Urbana said, “Then I’ll ask if Fester and Lurch would want to come, if that’s alright with you?”

“Of course,” Scarlet said, “I’ll get you more tickets for them.”

“Thank you for inviting me. It’s really nice of you,” Urbana said.

“I’m a demon. I don’t think nice is a word that can be applied to me,” she said.

“And that’s bull crap and you know it,” Urbana told her then she said, “I’ll be sure to come to watch. I bet it’ll be amazing.”

“Then will you come to my dressing room after the show so you can tell me what you think,” Scarlet asked.

“Of course,” Urbana said, “I’d love to.”

The next night, Urbana, Fester, and Lurch found the room that Scarlet was going to perform in. Urbana was holding her sketching kit and there was a line of men and a few women, and a gargoyle bouncer was standing in front of the doorway.

“Do we stand in line,” Fester asked.

Urbana looked at the time on her phone and said, “No. Since we have a ticket, Scarlet said to just give it to the guy protecting the door.”

The three of them walked past the line, much to the anger of a few men in the line and handed the bouncer their tickets. He looked them over, then ripped the tickets in half and handed them the other half while opening the door for them.

“Enjoy your night,” he said.

“Thank you,” Urbana told him, and the two men echoed her statement.

The room was small but swanky with low red colored lighting, a small bar, a stage with a pole in the middle of it, cocktail tables and round tables to sit in near the stage. It was a packed house. There was a man on the stage talking to the audience about the show before him.

Lurch grabbed Urbana’s shoulder nervously.

“You’re worried about what my Aunt would think about you being here?” Urbana asked him.

He nodded.

“Eh, she won’t mind, but if she does, I’ll tell her about what I said to you,” Urbana said to reassure him.

“Oh, excuse me,” some random slime woman said as she came up to them, “Are you Urbana?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Urbana said.

“Oh, lovely,” she said, “Scarlet has reserved a seat for you and your friends. Follow me.”

“Oh, wow,” Fester said as they followed the slime lady, “This Scarlet person really went all out with this.”

“I know,” Urbana said, “I can’t help but feel special.”

The slime lady showed them to their seats, and they were in the perfect place for them to see everything on the stage. Urbana sat in the seat that had her name on it and the man on the stage was finishing up his talk.

“So, uh, I didn’t peg you to like this kind of stuff,” Fester said.

Urbana shrugged as she placed her crutch next to her seat and said, “I feel like that I’m friends with them. Maybe it’s different for them since they don’t know me as much as I know them, but I want to support them in the best way that I can.”

“You’re an absolute sweetheart,” Fester said, and Lurch nodded his head in agreement.

The guy on stage finished his bit and he announced Scarlet. The white light that was on the guy turned into a flushed blue as he walked off the stage. Jazzy music started to play, and the curtain pulled up to reveal Scarlet. Their red coloring looked violet under the blue lighting and they were covering themselves using large feathery fans. Urbana got out her sketching kit and was ready to sketch what she saw.

Scarlet’s show was absolutely awe inspiring and beautiful. They danced with the precision of a surgeon operating on a heart. Urbana especially loved the trick of when they would spin around the pole and shift between being a male and a female. For Urbana, watching Scarlet dance was like watching a snowflake twirl in the air. Urbana didn’t know if she could capture their weightless energy, but she sure tried.

When Scarlet left the stage, Urbana went to talk to Fester and Lurch about the awesome show but found their seats empty. Urbana looked around then went up to the bartender and asked her if she had seen the men she was sitting with.

“I don’t remember the tall guy you’re talking about, but the bald man got up several times to use the bathroom,” she said.

“Okay. Thanks,” Urbana said.

She hobbled over to the restroom area.

“Fester,” she called out.

She heard Fester’s voice come out of the men’s bathroom.

“Fester are you alright,” She asked as she placed her ear against the bathroom door.

“I’m fine… I just need to stay in here for a bit,” Fester said.

“Well, okay. Do you know what happened to Lurch?” she asked.

“He left ten minutes into the show,” Fester said, “He didn’t feel comfortable being here.”

“Now I feel bad for inviting you two here,” Urbana said through the door.

“Please don’t feel bad,” Fester said, “We enjoyed the show but maybe we… kind of… enjoyed it too much.”

“Okay? Well then, I’m going to go visit with Scarlet in their dressing room. You can go on a head without me when your done in there. Okay,” Urbana said.

“Okay,” Fester said.

While Urbana was making her way backstage, a stand-up comedian was talking to the crowd. Once backstage, there were a lot of people getting ready for the next act and people were taking off make up and putting on make up and people were running around in black clothes taking care of lighting. It was very overwhelming. She asked around and the guy who was on the stage before Scarlet pointed her in the right direction. She then found a dressing room with Scarlet’s name on it.

She knocked then said, “Scarlet, it’s Urbana.”

Scarlet opened the door and they were in their male swimmer persona, and he excitedly pulled Urbana into his dressing room. Urbana barely managed to hold on to her sketching kit as she was spun around and placed in a chair full of glittery costumes. Then Scarlet sat a cross from her at his make-up table, wearing only a feather boa around his shoulders and super tight booty shorts.

“So, what did you think about my show,” Scarlet asked, his low voice humming with anticipation.

“You. Were. Amazing!” Urbana gushed, “I’ve seen dancers on _Dancing with the Stars,_ but you take the cake. You danced like you were a mighty river binding and curving the earth to your will and then you were delicate as the small ripples rain drops make on a pond. You have _got_ to teach me how to dance like you do. Some of those pole dancing moves you did I bet I could use for battle. Like imagine someone pulling out a knife on me and then I’m like, nope, and I climb up a pole where they can’t reach me. You were just so amazing.”

Urbana then tore out her drawing from her sketch book and gave it to Scarlet, “Here. I don’t think I did a good enough job capturing your essence, but I hope you like it.”

Scarlet got up and grabbed the drawing and he looked at it for a long time. Urbana was starting to get worried that he was offended, especially when he started crying.

“What’s wrong!?”

“Me. I’m wrong,” he said.

“Did I draw your wings incorrectly,” Urbana asked.

“I’m not talking about your beautiful drawing, Urbana,” Scarlet said, “I’m talking about me.”

“Oh… What do you think is wrong with you?” Urbana asked.

“I’ve been trying to seduce you into sleeping with me,” he said, “Because I wanted some kind of control over what you know about me.”

“You’re still upset about me seeing into you,” Urbana said.

“Who wouldn’t be,” Scarlet said as he sat back down at his make-up table and covered his face with his hands.

Urbana looked around for some tissues while Scarlet spoke.

“I thought. If I slept with you, then I would know what kind of person you are. So that I could know some of your secrets,” he said, “I’ve been violated before, but when you looked at me that day it felt like being forcibly stripped in front of a jeering crowd. I couldn’t handle it.”

Urbana found some tissues and sat on the floor in front of him then gave him the tissues.

“Thank you for being so brave to tell me this,” Urbana told him.

“I don’t know if I’m brave,” Scarlet said, “Your sweetness just guilted me into confessing. I mean look at your drawing of me. I’m on the pole, naked, and yet I don’t sense a lick of sexual desire in it.”

“I’m not sure if I told you this, but I’m sorry. I’m sorry I caused you so much destress and I’m sorry for being blind to your discomfort,” Urbana said, “I understand the terrible feeling of being known.”

Scarlet believed her.

“So. What do you want to know about me?” Urbana asked him.

“What?”

“I said, what deep dark secrets of me do you want to know about,” Urbana asked as she laid her arms and head in his lap, “You want an even playing field, right? I’m on vacation and I have all night to talk.”

Scarlet couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He felt like such an idiot for not telling her how he felt and for not asking her, out-right, to begin with. He supposed old habits die hard.

The two of them talked all night and in the end, Scarlet felt much better and learned a lot of her secrets. Scarlet had no intention of telling anyone about what Urbana told them, but they felt better now knowing who Urbana was.

# # #

Urbana just got off of her Aunt’s failed attempt to call her again as the Addams family was socializing with Dracula’s family at the hotel pool.

Vlad, Dracula’s father, came up to Urbana and said, “After our families are done playing with each other, come talk with me.”

“Okay,” Urbana said to him.

The old man then turned into a bat and flew high above the pool before turning back into his humanoid self and did a big cannon ball on his grandchildren and on the Addams children. Urbana hobbled over to the long lawn chair and sat next to the pregnant Ericka, Dracula’s wife, who was reading a magazine.

“Is it weird having a daughter that’s older than you,” Urbana asked her.

Ericka sat her magazine on her large stomach and said, “If they were regular humans, then I suppose I would be weirded out, but vampires can’t help being as old as they are. Dracula dear.”

Dracula was immediately out of the pool and was by her side, “Yes, my little crabapple?”

“I feel like having some ant bread covered in scream cheese. Will you get me some, please?”

“Of course,” Dracula said, and he was gone and back within the blink of an eye, “Here you go. I also toasted the bread for you since you love it crunchy.”

“Thank you,” She said, and they pecked each other on the lips and Drack went back to playing in the pool with his family.

“Sorry. I know the food’s a little weird, but our baby just loves this stuff,” Erica said before taking a bight out of the screaming food, silencing it.

“No need to apologize, Morticia has her own food cravings too,” Urbana said, “How long until your do?”

“Oh, it could be any week now,” Erica said, “We’re all very excited.”

Dennis got out of the pool and went up to Erica, “Grandma Erica. Can I sit with you?”

Erica skootched over and patted the empty space beside her, and he sat down.

“Tired,” Erica asked.

“Yah,” he said.

“Did you stay up too late last day,” she asked him.

“Maybe,” Dennis said.

“So, how exactly do you guys handle having different sleeping patterns,” Urbana asked.

“Well, since we have humans here, we usually tag team. Johnny and I usually handle the people in the day then when we go to sleep, Dracula and Mavis handle the people at night. Our dinner is their breakfast and we always try to eat as a family,” Erica explained.

“Awe, that’s sweet,” Urbana said.

“What’s sweet?” Scarlet asked, they were in their deflated female form, but their voice sounded more neutral than feminine or masculine.

Urbana filled them in as they sat behind her and wrapped their arms around her neck and rested her face in her hair.

Fester got out of the pool to get a drink and when he saw Scarlet he froze.

“You okay,” Urbana asked him.

“Oh. Um. Yah,” Fester said, his voice unusually high pitched.

Fester tensely walked away towards the bathrooms.

“I hope he’s alright,” Urbana said.

“He’ll be fine,” Scarlet said, “I tend to have that kind of effect on single men and women.”

“Is it because you’re a succubus,” she asked.

They shrugged then said, “It’s part of it, but it’s also because I’m really good at my job.”

“Urbana,” Wednesday called out, “Nobody’s using the karaoke machine. Will you sing a song?”

“Heck yah, I will,” Urbana said as she hefted herself up using her crutch.

When Urbana got on the stage, she flipped through the different songs that were in the book and there were a lot of really old songs, however, Urbana was fine with this since both of her parents are fans of “oldies”. Eventually she found the song by Frank Sinatra, _I’ve Got You Under My Skin_ and she played that.

She had a lot of fun singing the song and a lot of people started gathering around the stage to listen to her. Someone even threw roses at her. She hoped that they weren’t for anyone special. When Urbana finished a lot of people got in line to have their turn at the karaoke machine since she made it seem so fun. Before leaving the stage, she picked up all of the roses then she passed them out to the Addams and Dracula Family. Then she gave the last rose to Scarlet placing it in their hair, behind their ear.

“Beautiful,” Urbana said.

It was in this moment, that Scarlet the Succubus, realized that they have caught feelings for Urbana. It was a moment after that, Scarlet realized that the only way she’s not head over heels for them has to be because they’re already in a relationship with someone. Scarlet felt their heart crack a bit.

Later that night, Urbana went to look for Vlad, but he found her first, flying above her head in his bat form.

“Oh! Hello, sir. You wanted to talk to me about something?” Urbana asked him.

“Yes. Please, follow me to my quarters,” Vlad said.

Urbana hobbled along behind him as he flew a few feet away then waited for her to catch up. Eventually they made it to a more decrepit part of the hotel that made it look more like a man-made cave than an actual hallway in a castle. Then Vlad transformed into his humanoid form and opened a door that Urbana didn’t see at first.

Inside the room was a recliner chair, torches that were lit, and a whole lot of books sitting everywhere in the cave like room.

“Dracula told me what happened between you two and it made me think of someone who was like you,” Vlad said, “He was a good friend of mine. He was a fish monster.”

“That’s cool,” Urbana said, “Do you not talk with him anymore?”

“That’s right. He’s been dead for a few hundred years now,” Vlad said.

“Oh. I’m sorry,” she said.

“Thank you,” Vlad said as he shuffled over to his recliner that had an old dusty book in it, “Bubble was his name and I remember him feeling alone in his life before he was killed.”

Urbana nodded her head and encouraged him to continue.

“He had a way with the dead, just like you do,” Vlad said and he picked up the book in his recliner and then went up to Urbana and handed it to her, “He would have wanted you to have this.”

The book was leather bound, and the pages were yellow with age. It looked like an old diary.

“He wrote everything he knew he could do and how he was able to help the dead,” Vlad said, “He wouldn’t want you to feel alone like he did.”

“This is your only memento from your friend, isn’t it,” Urbana said, holding the book with care.

He nodded.

Urbana opened the book and was met with a bunch of scribbles.

“Um, sir. I really do appreciate your generosity, but I can’t read this,” Urbana said.

“Oh, that’s right! Humans don’t know Fish-speak,” Vlad said has he walked away and started scanning the rest of his book collection, “How silly of me. Give me a minute. I know I have a Fish-speak to English translation book around here somewhere.”

“No. Please. I can’t take your only memento of your friend,” Urbana said.

“Ah-ha! Found it,” Vlad said not listening. He then went over to her and handed her the translation book.

“Sir, please. I don’t want to take something so personally valuable,” Urbana said.

“Now don’t start with me Missy,” Vlad said, “Just take the damn books.”

“… No,” Urbana said, “I will trade you.”

“Okay, do you got a pen in your pocket or something,” Vlad asked, sounding tired.

“No. I’ll draw your friend. You remember what he looks like right,” Urbana asked.

“I do,” he said.

Urbana then handed him back the books and said, “Then I’ll draw your friend. It may not be perfect, but I feel like you deserve that much. We’ll talk in the lobby.”

Then Urbana hobbled away and the next night, Urbana spent all of her time drawing the fish-man, Vlad used to know. When she finished the drawing and Vlad looked at it for the first time, he didn’t cry, but the face that he made while looking at the drawing made Urbana want to. After a long minute of not talking, Vlad folded the drawing in half, stuffed it in his breast pocket, then he handed the books over to Urbana.

# # #

It was the last day and everyone was packing up their souvenirs and luggage, getting ready to leave in the afternoon.

Grandmama and Morticia were out having a final conversation with Dracula and Mavis, Wednesday and Pugsley were talking to Dennis and Winnie who were saying their goodbyes. Fester, Lurch, and Gomez were helping get all of the luggage downstairs and into the rental car. Urbana was just trying to stay awake since she wanted to fall asleep on the plane so the ride will go faster.

As Urbana had finished packing up her luggage someone knocked on the door. Thinking it was the kids who forgot their keys she opened the door and saw that it was Scarlet. They were in their masculine form, but he was less buff, and his voice had a hint of femininity.

“Hey, Urbana,” Scarlet said, “I heard you’re leaving today.”

Urbana yawned then said, “Yah. Sorry. I’m so use to staying up late at night, being up in the morning is a bit draining.”

“Want to get some breakfast with me before you go,” Scarlet asked.

“I would love to,” Urbana told him.

Before leaving Urbana saw Fester and told him that she was done packing and that he could take her stuff down to the rental.

The buffet was full of mostly humans as everyone ate breakfast. Urbana had herself a nice cup of white tea and was having toast with blackberry jelly. Scarlet was having poached eggs, an English muffin, and coffee.

“Thank you for inviting me to breakfast,” Urbana said, “I’ve enjoyed being here and I enjoy your company.”

“Yes, well. I enjoy your company too,” Scarlet said, “This hotel’s going to feel a little emptier with you gone.”

“Oh? That’s too bad,” Urbana said. She took a sip of her tea then asked, “Are you not enjoying your job anymore?”

Scarlet was silent for a long minute before he asked, “Do you think all I’m good for is being a stripper and an escort?”

“Absolutely not,” Urbana said without hesitation, “Why do you ask?”

“I’ve been an escort for as long as I can remember,” Scarlet said, “I remember having fun with it when I was in Hell and I made myself out to be a big star for Valentino in his asinine Porn Studio. Then when I had my break and found a way out of Hell, I had fun being a street urchin and corner hoe until it wasn’t anymore, then I came here and I’ve been having fun, but now, I just feel like I’m stuck in a rut… That, this is all I can do, like escaping Hell was a wasted effort.”

Urbana was silent for a long while, trying to make sure she would say the right thing.

“Look, Scarlet, all I know is that when you feel stuck in a rut, you either change it slightly or you go full force in and dramatically change your life or you do both. I’m currently doing both… I moved out of my family’s home when I was eighteen and that was a dramatic change for me and then when I got into the rut of having school and work, I decided to commit to learning how to fence and I joined a band. Maybe you’re tired of being an escort, so find a job that deals a lot with people but just not in a strictly sexual way. I can actually imagen you being a chameleon secret agent or something like that, going undercover into a cult and gaining insight to bust them at their weakest. I think you’d be good at that.”

“Hmm, you do make it sound exciting,” Scarlet said, “It’s certainly something to think about.”

The two of them sat there and talked all morning, until Gomez found them and told Urbana that it was time for them to go.

Scarlet and Urbana hugged each other, and Scarlet said, “Your significant other is a lucky person to have someone like you.”

Urbana stepped back from their hug and said, “Significant other? I don’t have one of those. What made you think that?”

Scarlet was choking on his words from the shock of the news and Urbana was patiently waiting for him to answer her, but Gomez cut in.

“I’m really sorry, but we must be going,” Gomez said, “Thank you for befriending my daughter and have a good morning.”

Gomez took Urbana by the arm and the two of them walked away from the still tongue tied Scarlet, and as they walked away Urbana waved goodbye.

# # #

It was nighttime and Urbana was happy to see her bed again. She didn’t even bother to taker her clothes off as she got into her bed. She didn’t realize how tiresome being on vacation could get. Before she could actually fall asleep, her phone rang, and through her blurry, tired vision, she saw that it was her Aunt Jane again.

“Aunt Jane?”

“Urbana, finally! I’ve been trying to get a hold of you and/or Lurch for a little over two weeks now,” Jane said.

“We just got back from vacation, so sue us,” Urbana mumbled.

“Honey, it’s your father. He’s in the hospital,” Aunt Jane said.

Her words took a minute for Urbana to absorb.

She jumped out of bed saying, “Text me the address!”


	20. A Father's Egress

It was before dawn when Urbana Des Moines made it to the hospital that her father was being kept in. She told the front desk who she was and who she was there for and they had a nurse lead her to his room. When Urbana entered Bob’s room, her Aunt was sitting beside him. He was in a neck brace and his face was completely covered with plaster and bandages with different tubes and wires sticking out of him to make sure his body was properly monitored and functioning. Then on the other side of Bob’s hospital bed was the blue spirit of Bob, and there was a blue umbilical cord connected to his spirit’s naval from his physical body’s naval. Together they were watching the _Three Stooges_ on the t.v. in their room but it was muted.

“Urbana! When did you get hurt?” Jane asked, referring to her plastered ankle and crutch.

“I should be asking you that about Dad,” Urbana said to her.

The blue spirit of Bob continued to watch the muted t.v.

Jane told her about how her father got into a car accident, about two weeks ago, and had massive brain trauma from it. The doctors had to put him into a medically induced coma to help him keep his brain swelling down. The doctors will be bringing him out of his coma any day now since his swelling has gone down nicely.

Urbana hobbled around her father’s unconscious body and went up to his blue spirit, “Are you doing okay, Dad?”

He was unresponsive so Urbana snapped her fingers in front of his face like he used to do to her when she was too engrossed in watching her cartoons to listen to him.

Startled he finally looked up at his daughter and was surprised by her heavy eye contact.

“You can see me?”

“Just answer my damn question, Dad,” Urbana said, getting annoyed.

“Oh, God,” Jane said, “Is your father dead?”

“No, he’s just astral projecting,” Urbana said to her aunt.

“I can’t believe you can see me,” Bob said, brushing past his daughter’s annoyance.

“I cAn’T bElIeVe YoU cAn SeE mE,” Urbana mocked, then she said, “Dad, are you okay emotionally or not?”

“We really can astral project” Jane asked.

“It usually happens when your body has been through great trauma. It’s not particularly dangerous or anything, but it can still be scary,” Urbana told her then she said, “It was scary for me when I did it.”

At the same time Jane and Bob mentioned the time she fell down the stairs and was in a coma for three days.

Bob hugged his daughter and said, “That was a scary week for your Grandmother and I.”

Urbana patted her father’s back, but she really wanted him to stop hugging her because she was trying hard not to disassociate, while also looking over his blue shoulder at his unconscious body, since she was starting to get flashbacks from when her mother died.

“Urbana, I’m so—”

She then pushed her father away from her.

“NO!” Urbana said firmly.

“What’s wrong,” Jane asked.

“Don’t you dare try and apologize to me,” Urbana told him.

“How can I not, now that I know,” Bob said.

“I don’t want you to apologize to me just because you believe me,” Urbana said, “I want you to apologize to me because that’s what you should have done to begin with. You shouldn’t even have treated me any different regardless if you believed in my abilities or not.”

“But Urbana you know the whole ghost thing is crazy, right,” Bob said.

“I don’t care, I’m sick and tired of it,” Urbana said, “Mom had to die to apologize to me. Grandma had to die to apologize to me. Aunt Jane had to see a powerful fucking ghost to apologize to me. Now you’re trying to apologize to me just because I can see your astral form and I bet you expect me to accept your apology too.”

“That’s what you do when someone apologizes to you. It’s impolite to not accept someone’s apology,” Bob said.

“Well fuck that,” Urbana said.

“Don’t you fucking talk to me like that,” he said.

“I can talk however I want,” Urbana said as she hobbled away from him, “I don’t want to see you anymore since you seem perfectly fine. Good luck with your recovery.”

“Don’t you walk away from me,” Bob said as he was starting to follow his daughter.

“No. You stay exactly where you are,” Urbana demanded, “I don’t want to see or hear from you unless you plan on apologizing to me when you’re actually conscious. That is if you’ll even remember any of this.”

She then slammed the door behind her as she angrily hobbled away. She continued limping towards the hospital entrance, but the farther she walked the less angry she felt and the more she felt sad. Once she stepped outside the sliding doors of the hospital and felt the rising’s sun’s warmth on her face in the chill morning air, she couldn’t help but cry.

Urbana was startled when she felt someone’s hand on her shoulder and when she saw through her tears that it was just her Aunt, it somehow made her cry even harder and her Aunt pulled her into a half hug.

Jane pulled a tissue pack out of her purse and handed it to her niece, “Here.”

Urbana took it and used several tissues to wipe her nose and eyes, “Did I do the right thing? Should I have just accepted his apology?”

“I don’t know what the right thing is,” Jane said, “I didn’t hear the whole conversation, but what you said, I think it needed to be said.”

Urbana looked down at her feet and asked, “What now?”

“I’ll continue staying by your father’s side while you live your life,” Jane said, “Then when he wakes up, I can help him make the right decision with you.”

“He should already know what the right decision is,” Urbana said, frustrated.

“You would think that, but it’s not as simple as we wish it to be,” Jane said, “All we can do is try our hardest.”

“Sometimes I feel like he doesn’t even try with me and he tries too hard for everyone else,” Urbana said.

“Maybe that has something to do with the way your Grandpa Des Moines raised us,” Jane said sounding sadly nostalgic.

Urbana’s stomach growled and Jane offered to buy breakfast for her, but she said no, saying that she had to head back home so she could get some sleep. As a compromise, Jane gave Urbana some cash to take for her drive back home.

When Urbana got home, the Addams family tried to ask her some basic questions, like asking how she is and what not, but Urbana just told them that she was going to bed. Despite how tired she was, she had a hard time going to sleep, but eventually she did, and for the first time since she turned eighteen, she dreamed about her Grandpa Harp.

Urbana opened her eyes and found herself laying in tall green grass, and she felt the sun on her back. Sitting up she saw she was in the middle of a clearing, in the middle of an ancient forest that she has seen a hundred times before.

“Look at you,” an old man said. Urbana looked down beside her and saw her grandpa laying down beside her, “You’ve grown so much.”

Grandpa Harp looked exactly like the photos that she’s seen him in. His gray hair cut short into a small afro, hazel eyes that always seemed so full of life, framed by crows feet and smile lines. He was also really thin and frail looking but he had a confidence about him like his body doesn’t hinder him anymore.

Urbana tackled him into a hug, “Where did you go!?”

“I’m sorry,” Grandpa Harp said as he patted her head, “Work has been keeping me busy a lot lately.”

Urbana tried not to cry, she felt like she’s cried enough as is, but it was such a relief to finally see her grandfather, especially after her fight with her father, that she couldn’t help it.

“I missed you,” Urbana said, weeping.

Grandpa Harp sat up and held her like she was a newborn baby, because she turned into one, and he said, “Oh, no. Honey, what did I miss?”

Whimpering through her tears, Urbana told him how she moved out of her home and how Grandma Harp died and how that made her feel and she told him about how she’s been getting hurt and how that has made her feel worst, and how school and work feels like it’s compressing on her making her feel even worst, and with the added fact that she as a bounty on her head with random ghosts attacking her, she can’t help but feel so lonely and like a failure.

As she continued to tell him how she felt, the dream world around them turned dark and cloudy and rain poured heavily around them, but not on them.

“My. That’s a lot to hold, Honey,” Grandpa Harp said, “I’m sorry you’ve went through so much. Has nothing good happen to you at all?”

Grandpa Harp sat her down to lay in his lap as she was toddler sized now and the rain around them was starting to slow down.

“I made some new friends,” Urbana said, “And they’re around my age too, and they’re alive, and half of them are guys.”

“Really,” he asked, excited for her, “You’re first living male friends. I’m so proud.”

“Well, one of them is only half alive some of the times, but he’s still my best friend,” Urbana said.

“That’s great,” Grandpa Harp said, “And very interesting.”

“I am also friends again with Beetlejuice. Do you remember me telling you about him when I was younger?” she asked him.

“I do,” He said, smiling gently at her as he moved her hair out of her face, “You’d always get into trouble with him, but he also made your youth that much more fun.”

“I also kind of befriended some demons, a fish guy, and a fire lady,” Urbana said, “My relationship with them all seems complicated but they’re all nice.”

“As any person can be,” Grandpa Harp said as he watched his granddaughter grow into a child, “It’s quite a feat to meet so many interesting people. I certainly never met any demons in my different lives, only angles.”

“And Morticia is pregnant. She’ll be due in May. And Aunt Jane and Lurch are dating. They got together at Grandma Harp’s funeral,” Urbana said.

The rain around them was nothing more than a trickle but the dark clouds still broiled above.

“Oh, that’s wonderful, Honey. New life. New love. That’s a beautiful thing,” Grandpa Harp said.

“Yah,” Urbana said, as she turned into a pre-teen.

He sat her up then asked, “Now, with all of these wonderful people around you, why haven’t you told them about how you felt?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I’m scared. Maybe I don’t want to burden them with my shit. Maybe it’s just easier for me to hid it… I don’t know,” she said.

Grandpa Harp pulled her into a soft hug, then he said, “I’ve watched you grow and I’ve seen you be hurt by the people around you and being scared is a natural defense, but I can sense the kindness of the people around you, on you. What I sense are people who care, and worry, and want to be there for you. I know that you’re a kind person at heart. You always have the strength to help others, despite how you’re feeling, right?”

“Yah.”

“It’s the same for your friends that you’ve made all on your own. We all carry burdens in our lives and deaths, but for the ones we care about, we always have the extra strength to help someone else carry their burdens. That is what I think is the greatest thing about people.”

Grandpa Harp held her at arm’s length as she looked like a teenager.

“I still wish I could talk to someone like me,” Urbana said, “Grandma and Mom have been trying to find you for my sake. Dreaming about you only helps so much,” Urbana said.

“Yes. I’m sorry about that. Don’t worry too much about it though. One day you’ll be the one to find me, and no one else,” Grandpa Harp said, “Just continue to discover yourself and live your best life. Okay?”

“I’ll try,” Urbana said, now as an adult.

The clouds above them cleared, but it was still raining and there was now a faint rainbow hanging above them.

“And that’s all you can do,” he said. He kissed her on the forehead then said, “Now, go tell them what you told me.”

The dream world started to dissolve to gold dust around Urbana. Before Grandpa Harp disappeared with the gold dust, he said, “Urbana. Tell your Mother and Grandmother that I love them.”

Urbana woke up to the sound of her alarm on her phone, waking her up for classes. She was well rested, but she was still bummed out, though, not as much as when she went to bed. She wished she could remember everything in her dream, but she remembered how it made her feel and that was what was most important to her.

A couple of days later, while she was getting her cast cut off and was getting a boot for her ankle, Urbana got a text from her Aunt saying that they have woken up her father from his medically induced coma.

# # #

Urbana just got back home from work about an hour ago and she was sitting in the kitchen doing homework while Gizmo and Thing were playing around her feet. The rest of the Addams family, according to the note that they left her, went out to watch the newest horror thriller movie that was out in theaters. Urbana remembered them talking about it, something about a robot destroying humanity and also raising it, or something like that. Urban didn’t really pay that much attention to it.

Urbana eventually heard the sound of a car rolling up to the mansion, so she got up to go greet them and ask how they enjoyed their movie. When she stepped out into the twilight, instead of the pure black old buggy car, she saw a grey and white Dondai Supremo. She also felt like something heavy was laying in her heart, like someone else’s feelings were pressing down on her.

The Dondai Supremo parked beside her car and out stepped a guy that looked about her age, but he was at least eight feet tall, and Urbana wondered how he could fit inside such a small car. His curly black hair was barely covered by his pink beanie hat, he was wearing a pink letterman jacket with no letters on it, he had on a blue shirt with one big yellow star on the front of it, and he was wearing jeans and sandals, which didn’t seem practical for the March cold.

“Hello, can I help you,” Urbana asked him. From what she could tell, he looked like he hasn’t shaved or showered in a while.

“Yah, hi,” he said as he walked up to her brandishing a piece of news clipping, “Is this the Addams Family Bed and Breakfast?”

Urbana gasped with excitement, then said, “Yes, it is, please come in where it’s warmer.”

Urbana ushered him in.

“This place is kind of spooky looking,” he said as he took off his beanie, his curly hair jumping out of his hat.

“I know, but it’s full of good people,” Urbana told him, “I’m Urbana Des Moines.”

“Steven Universe, nice to meet you,” he said.

“Come,” Urbana said as she led him to the kitchen, “Are you hungry? Thirsty? Or do you just want to pay for your room, and I’ll show it to you?”

“I could eat something,” Steven said as he followed her.

Urbana made a place for him at the kitchen table and she got out some leftovers from the fridge and got him some water and set the food in front of him. Gizmo and Thing were nowhere within sight, so Urbana figured they were playing in the living room now or something.

“I hope you don’t mind tofu, Grandmama made a vegetarian meal last night,” Urbana said as she let him take a moment to eat while she made herself a batch of mint tea.

“No, this is great,” Steven said, “I’m actually a vegetarian.”

“Oh, cool so am I,” Urbana said.

She sat down at the kitchen table then she took a moment to breath in the minty air of her tea, took a sip then said to him, “Alright, Mr. Universe. I’m going to give it to you straight. This family has been starved for strangers for years, so don’t let them scare you off when they see that you’re their first guest… Also, you’re allowed to say no if you don’t want to live here, because I know they’ll want to ask you to stay.”

He gave her a thumbs up and a chubby cheeked smile.

Urbana worked on her homework while he ate and after he finished, she got out the card reader and touch pad so that he could pay for his room since he wanted to pay by card.

“So why is your family so starved for strangers,” Steven asked while she was leading him to his room.

“They’re always like, this house is too big and our family is too small, we don’t want all these rooms filling with dust, and so on,” Urbana explained as they passed the hanging skeleton, which she patted its head, “They also just love people, especially the weird, black sheep kind of people.”

“Then I suppose they’ll just love me then,” Steven said.

Urbana felt that feeling of heaviness in her heart again, but she ignored it.

“That’s great,” she said as she took him to the first floor and showed him his room, “Now, do you have any luggage that you need me to carry to your room or anything like it?”

“No, I got it,” he said, “Don’t strain yourself on my part with that foot of yours.”

“Alright then, don’t be afraid to ask for anything. The rest of the family should be showing up soon and they’ll want to say hi,” Urbana said. Then before she left him alone, she said, “Have a good evening.”

“Thanks. You too,” Steven said.

About thirty minutes later the Addams Family got back from watching their movie and when they asked Urbana about the second car and she told them, they all wanted to meet him immediately. Urbana convinced them all to wait until breakfast.

The next morning, during breakfast, it was so lively with talking. When Urbana sat down, she saw that Steven looked like he just got back from a morning jog. Everyone was asking him so many questions and he happily answered them, and Urbana felt like he was only a little overwhelmed. The kids asked him where he lives and if he has any siblings and they asked how long he plans on staying. He said he lived in Beach City, which Urbana has never heard of but the Addams family says it’s just an hour or so away from where they live, he said that he has multiple siblings too many to really count, and how long he plans on staying is unknown to him.

Then Morticia tried to ask him why he was out on the road or if he had just started going on the road when Thing hopped up onto the table and Steven freaked out at the sight. Urbana forgot that a disembodied hand isn’t a normal thing to have around.

“What the fuck!”

“Steven, this is Thing,” Fester said, “Thing, wave to Steven.”

Thing waved and Steven looked a little pink around the gills. He took a couple of deep breaths then said, “Hello, Thing… Can I pick them up?”

Without hesitation Thing crawled over to Steven and he picked them up and examined them.

“How long has Thing been in your family,” Steven asked as he continued examining Thing.

“I’ve known Thing all my life,” Morticia said.

“Same with me,” Grandmama said, “Thing has been with us since I was born, and my Father said that he’s known Thing ever since he was a child.”

“I didn’t know Thing was so old,” Urbana said.

“There’s a reason for that,” Steven said. Then before anyone really knew what was happening, Steven squeezed Thing hard and they just poofed into thin air, leaving behind only a peach colored, pinky sized sliver of rock in their place.

It was everyone else’s turn to scream.

“What did you do,” Pugsley said, so upset at the sight that he started to cry a bit.

“I know what I did is scary right now, but they’ll be back in a couple of minutes to half an hour,” Steven said as he picked up the sliver of rock and examined it closely, “Peach Moonstone.”

The stone started to glow a bright white light, then the disembodied hand that everyone is used to seeing reappeared in Steven’s hand. Thing gave Steven the middle finger then scampered away towards Pugsley who hugged the hand gently.

Steven looked like he was going to start explaining when Urbana interrupted him, “Okay, you. I’ve seen ghosts and zombies and vampires and fish monsters and swamp monsters and Demons. If you start explaining something about alien technology, because that’s got to be alien, then I’m pretty sure I need to scream.”

“…That’s a shattered Homeworld Gem. She was probably a part of the Crystal Gem War because Moonstones were made for their tactical strategies,” Steven said.

Urbana got out of her chair. Walked out the side door of the kitchen. Took a deep breath. Then screamed loudly and for as long as she could. Then she walked back inside and took a seat. Everyone else was less affected by the idea of aliens being real and were still more upset that he crushed Thing.

“Look. I’m sorry I upset you all, but I had to know what kind of gem she was so that I can ask you this. Do you have any jewelry or rock collections that are Peach Moonstone? If we put all the pieces together, I can help make her whole again with a little help from Yellow,” Steven said.

Grandmama shook her head and said, “I’m sorry. We’re a purely black onyx and obsidian type of jewelry family. As far as we know, Thing just appeared, and they’ve been in our care ever since."

Steven sighed then said, “Again. I’m sorry. Especially to you, Thing.”

Thing only tapped their fingers on Pugsley’s forearm in response. Everyone else, especially Morticia and Urbana believed his sorry-ness, and forgave him.

# # #

Urbana was walking to the mailbox early in the morning, with her fencing sword in hand, singing _Holding Out for a Hero,_ that she memorized for the band. She was mailing out her medical bills. When she set up the little red flag on the box, Urbana could see Steven running up to her from down the road, so she decided to wait for him by the mailbox.

“Hello, Mr. Universe. Having a good run?”

“Yah. It’s a good morning for it,” He said as he used his shirt to wipe the sweat from his face. Urbana then saw a fist sized pink gem where his navel was supposed to be.

Well that explains that, she thought to herself, then she said, “Aren’t you cold?”

“Nope, are you?”

“Only a little,” she said.

Steven walked with Urbana back to the mansion up the winding, gravel driveway. They walked in silence for a bit, but Urbana could feel that something was bothering him, and it seemed to way so heavily on him that it felt like it was crushing her too.

“Okay, are you going to say what’s bothering you or what,” Urbana asked him.

“Only if you say what’s bothering you,” Steven replied.

Urbana felt a little called out, but she supposed that’s how he was feeling too.

“Fine. We’ll both say what’s bothering us at the same time,” she said.

“Deal,” he said.

“1. 2. 3. I’m scared of losing my Dad.”

“1. 2. 3. I feel like a fake.”

They both stood still processing what they said to each other.

“Why do you feel like a fake?”

“Did something happen to your Dad?”

“Yah, but let’s talk about you first,” Urbana said.

“… I’ve been on the road since I was sixteen years old, exploring all of the United States, because I felt like I needed to discover myself and be out in the world,” Steven said.

“How old are you now?”

“Twenty-one.”

Urbana nodded her head.

“And I’ve talked about this with my therapist, but now that I’m almost done with my travels, I can’t help but think that I’ve just wasted my time, because after seeing all of the states, the only place I want to live in, is in Beach City.”

“Well. What did your therapist have to say about that?” she asked.

“She said that it’s fine to go explore yourself and discover that you never really wanted a change,” Steven said.

“And you don’t believe her?”

“No. She’s a good therapist. I believe her. It’s just. I don’t know. I went out to discover myself and change but wanting to go back home after all that traveling, feels like I wasted my time and my Dad’s money.”

“Hmm. I don’t think you’re giving yourself enough credit,” Urbana said, “Five years is a long time. Like if you were a new born baby, you’d have gone from not being able to walk or talk, to saying full sentences and being ready for kindergarten. What was your favorite state that you visited?”

“Florida Island,” he said.

“Why did you like it?”

“I went to this one café that also sold hand-made Cuban Cigars, and their food was really good,” Steven said.

“So you found out that you like the smell of Cuban Cigars in the air while you eat Cuban style food, right?”

“Yah,” Steven said.

“That’s something that you discovered about yourself and maybe it wasn’t much, but I still say it changed you. Wouldn’t you say that going back there would be worth it?”

“I would like to visit it again,” he said.

“Then it wasn’t a waste of your time or a waste of your father’s money,” Urbana said, “Though, since it sounds like your father has paid for every road trip experience for you, I don’t think, that he thinks, that you using his money is a waste.”

He chuckled while he rubbed the back of his neck then he said, “You’re right,” Then he said seriously, “Now it’s your turn.”

Urbana sighed then they continued their walk back to the mansion.

“My father got into a car accident almost three weeks ago and I got into a fight with his astral projection,” Urbana said.

“Is that how you hurt your foot?”

“It’s unrelated,” she said, then she continued, “I know that Dad loves me, but he doesn’t like me nor does he want to spend time with me, but he use to want to do that.”

“Hm-mh. Go on.”

“I also know that he’s still grieving over Mom’s death, and stuff, but I feel like he wishes he had no children or had a different child than me. Especial when Mom’s spirit didn’t leave us after she died and I tried telling him about her, but he just kept getting angry at me about it,” Urbana said.

“Your Dad sounds like a jerk,” Steven said.

“I mean, yah, but I still want to try and repair our relationship,” Urbana said, “I miss him.”

“What exactly do you miss about your Dad,” Steven asked.

“Well, before Mom died, Dad would do this joke where he’d lay his head on my stomach and pretend that he was talking to someone and he’d go, Mmm, yes, go on, and it’d always make me smile. I also miss sitting in his lap or in Mom’s lap while we watch a movie together. I also miss doing face scrunches with him where I’d manipulate his face to look weird and/or funny and he’d do the same with me. I also miss coming up with stupid jokes with him like we did before Mom died,” Urbana said.

“Some of those things you can do without your Dad,” Steven said.

“I don’t want to do _some_ of them, I want to do all of them,” she said, “I miss having human contact like that, that I can be so close with someone without it being awkward. Like I’ve talked about this with the Addams, but I still pay them to live at the mansion. I am still a tenant and there are boundaries whether or not they think there isn’t. I’d feel so uncomfortable if Gomez did the belly talking thing to me, and I’d feel awkward sitting in anyone’s lap, because there’s always that expectation of are they “flirting”, is there a “romantic” under tone, and I especially can’t do any of that with any of my new friends that I made last summer,” Urbana said, “I don’t know anyone that I can really be intimate with, without it being construed as sexual or romantic.”

The mansion was within view.

“There’s really no one?” he asked sounding sad.

“I have other family members like my Aunt Jane and Brother/Uncle figure Beetlejuice, but Aunt Jane lives far away and she can only spare so much time and I don’t like touching Beetlejuice for long because it reminds me of when my Mom took my energy when she stayed with us in her spirit form and I know he’s giving energy back, but I still don’t really like it.”

“I don’t know what I can say to help you out,” Steven said, “The only thing I can offer is to heal your Dad for you?”

“How are you going to do that,” Urbana asked him.

“With my spit.”

She froze in her tracks and gave him a “what?” look.

“No. Look. Give me your bad foot,” Steven said.

She did but she felt like she was being punked. Urbana watched him lick his hand, then he rubbed it against her leg right above her boot. It sparkled pink for a second and then the next second her ankle didn’t feel bad any more and more importantly to her, her body aches were gone too.

“Oh my God,” Urbana said as she took off her boot and stood on it, “Oh my God!” she repeated this time looking at Steven, “I feel like I’m ten again.”

She then did a back-flip, but she landed on her ass instead of on her feet.

“Okay, I’m going to need to practice that, but I can practice it now,” Urbana said to Steven as he helped her back on her feet, “Thank you. And you can really heal my Dad like this?”

“Yah.”

“Thank you so much. I have a day off in a couple of days. I can take you to him then,” Urbana said.

“It’s a deal,” Steven said, then he said, “I’ve been meaning to ask you, but why are you carrying a sword?”

“It’s for protection,” she said.

“From what?”

Urbana was going to answer him but then they heard something like a gunshot firing in the woods and something wrapped around her ankle and dragged her into the woods. Before she got dragged into the underbrush, she saw Steven running after her.

As she was being dragged on the ground, it felt like she was hitting every tree and root there was in the woods before she felt herself being lifted in the air and she was met face to upside down face with Skulker.

“Urbana,” he said, sounding smug and full of himself.

“Beetlejuice, Beetle—” Urbana started to say but Skulker sealed her mouth shut using some kind of weird green goo.

“Ah, ah, ah,” He said, “We don’t want to ruin our moment together now do we?”

Urbana then head butted him on the nose then she cut herself free from his weird grappling hook gun that was tied around her ankle. She fell a few feet and landed on her back. The air was knocked out of her, but she stood up as quickly as she could.

“Now that wasn’t very nice,” Skulker said as he floated down, “What’s the matter. Don’t have the same spunk as you did the first time we battled.”

Urbana got ready with her sword and lunged at Skulker. He dodged effortlessly, but that was fine by her because she kept moving forward, running away from him.

“Hey,” he yelled at her.

Urbana heard him get his gun out and she knew that she had to serpentine.

Lasers spattered around her as she tried using the trees to shield her. She didn’t know if she was getting hit or not, but she didn’t really have the time to check. Over the laser fire, she could hear Skulker laughing gleefully. She tried pulling the green goo off of her mouth, but it didn’t want to budge.

There was the sound of metal hitting metal and the gun firing stopped. Looking from behind a thoroughly shot at tree, Urbana saw Steven with a pink shield in hand, squaring up Skulker, who’s gun was cut in half.

Urbana knew that, that wasn’t going to be good. Skulker can do physical and non-physical based attacks. Steven’s shield won’t protect him from his ghost powers.

“I just bought this gun,” Skulker yelled at him, while Urbana ran towards them.

“Then use it at a firing range not at a helpless woman,” Steven said from behind his shield.

Skulker raised his hand at Steven and shot a ghost laser at him. Urbana just barely managed to knock the blast away from him.

“Urbana, what are you doing!” Steven said.

You’re not going to block that, she tried to say, but it was muffled.

Skulker grabbed a fist full of Urbana’s hair.

“This is a private matter, mortal,” Skulker said, “We’ll be leaving now.”

Skulker tried to fly away but Urbana managed to kick him in the face and wrench her hair out of his grasp. Before she could hit the ground, Steven caught her.

“What is he,” Steven ask her.

Ghost, she tried to say, but again the green goop was muffling her.

Skulker got out his laser revolver and used his other hand to shoot his ghost energy at them. Steven made his shield larger and he was able to block the revolver lasers but the ghost lasers that Skulker was firing from the palm of his hand effortlessly fazed through his shield and Urbana was knocking them aside.

“I’m going to do something that’ll seem weird,” Steven said as he placed his hand on her back, “But I need to know. Do you trust me?”

Urbana could only give him a thumbs up as she was keeping her eyes on Skulker.

Then everything turned white.

They don’t know who they are, but they could see in every direction at once and they were much taller than Skulker. Even though they probably could take on Skulker by themselves, they didn’t want to take the chance. They ripped the goo off of their mouth and summoned Beetlejuice.

Beetlejuice appeared and saw the tall humanoid person, who kind of reminded him of Urbana, standing before a cowing Skulker.

“You!” He said to Skulker, “We’re in the Addams family woods. I’m not going to let you take Urbana.”

Beetlejuice snapped his fingers and a cartoonishly large hammer appeared in his hands.

“I’m going to go now,” Skulker said.

The giant figure growled at him as he flew away. Beetlejuice threw his hammer at him and managed to knock him out of the sky.

He dusted his hands off and said, “I hope that keeps him away longer.” Then Beetlejuice turned to the giant person and asked, “So, uh, who are you?”

“Hello, Beetlejuice,” they said as they got on their knees to sit, “I don’t really know who I am,” Then they said, “This is fusion. It’s something a half human, half gem person and a regular gem person can do to make themselves stronger,” then they said, “Oh, that’s neat,” then they said, “We can stop now if you want.” Then they said, “No, this is fascinating.”

“You know, I don’t really get it, but this is what I love about being dead for as long as I have,” Beetlejuice said to them, “You just get to see the wildest things.”

“How wild do I look,” they asked.

Beetlejuice snapped his fingers and a large mirror appeared before them. They had a normal set of arms and legs and their skin tone was lighter than Urbana’s normal skin tone and darker than Steven’s normal skin tone. They looked like they were a least twelve feet tall and their long curly hair was huge enough that it could hide a whale shark in it. They were also wearing a mismatch combination of Steven’s jogging clothes and Urbana’s casual clothes. The thing that made them look different from normal humans, besides their large stature, was their six eyes arranged to look like a star on their face and big orcish looking fangs sticking out of their mouth.

“Woah,” they said, then asked, “Is multiple body parts normal” then they answered themselves, “Yah, it’s normal.”

“So you know my name, but I don’t know yours,” Beetlejuice said as he was laying on top of the mirror.

“I’m… What _should _I call myself,” they asked themselves, “Well, when Connie fuses with Steven, they call themselves Stevonnie. So, I can mash up our fused parts names together too.” They thought for a moment then said, “I’ll go by Urben.”

“Urban?” Beetlejuice asked.

“No. “e” “n” not “a” “n”. Urben,” they said.

“Can I show this to the Addams Family,” they asked themselves, “I think this is pretty cool. Or do you want to stop?” Then they answered themselves, “No, it’s fine. They’ve kept a disembodied hand in their family for years without questioning it, not knowing it’s a gem. I don’t think they’ll mind this.”

“Alright then,” Beetlejuice said, “I’ll just escort you to the grounds, just to keep you safe.”

They stood up and said, “Thanks Beetlejuice. You care a lot about Urbana don’t you.”

“Of course I do. What kind of question is that?” Beetlejuice said as he floated at their shoulder height.

Beetlejuice went back to Lydia after he had successfully escorted them into the ghost barrier. Urben then called for the family’s attention and all of the adults except for the kids, since Wednesday and Pugsley were in school, came out to see who was on their front lawn. Urben showed themselves off and answered Gomez, Fester, Morticia, and Grandmama’s questions as best as they could. Then they saw that Reta and her gang were looking at them and hiding behind a corner of the mansion. Urben went to go say hi to them and ask how they were. Eventually, the shock of actually talking to ghosts set in, and Urben unfused.

Rubbing her head Urbana asked, “Are you okay?”

Steven rubbed his eyes and looked at where Urben was looking and talking to Reta and her gang, then he said, “I. I don’t see them anymore.”

Urbana just shrugged and said, “Makes sense. We’re not Urben anymore.” Urbana then helped him back on his feet then said, “Come on. I want to eat something before I go to work.”

They went into the mansion together and Urbana resigned herself to the idea that what they did together, the fusion thing, was only going to be a one-time thing.

“Have you seen my sword,” Urbana asked him.

# # #

Urbana, Steven, and Beetlejuice were walking towards Bob’s hospital room.

“You have no idea how much I appreciate this,” Urbana said, “I can’t thank you enough.”

“It’s no problem,” Steven said.

Urbana then stopped him in the middle of the hallway and said, “No. It is a problem.”

“Urbana. Don’t over think this,” Beetlejuice said, sounding exasperated.

“I’m a writer, over thinking is kind of my job,” she said.

“So, what’s the problem,” Steven asked, sounding concerned.

Urbana started pacing before the two men as she spoke fast.

“Gentlemen, the machinations of having a person capable of healing just about anyone can be both a blessing and a curse. The blessing, of course, being able to heal people but the curse is also being able to heal people.”

“I’m so confused,” Beetlejuice said.

“Of course, you are, cause you’re not taking into account the emotional weight these kinds of powers have on a person. If someone has the power to heal then they might feel like they have to heal every sick person that they come into contact with, and there are way too many people in this world, so the job just never ends and then there’s the idea of not being able to heal something that you thought you could heal and the character might well-up with doubt and self-disappointment and they might push themselves too hard because of that one time they couldn’t heal someone and—” Urbana gasped for air.

“Okay. Okay,” Beetlejuice said as he patted her back, “Just breath. I sometimes forget you need to.”

“Thank you for putting so much thought into this, about me,” Steven said, “But, really. It’s fine.”

“Then I want to make sure,” Urbana said after catching her breath, “I want you to tell me. Are you healing my Dad because you feel obligated to do it? Or are you here to heal him because it’s your choice and you’ll heal whoever you want?”

He hesitated for a second, then he said, “I’m here because it’s my choice.”

“Then I’ll say this,” she said, “I won’t think less of you if you decided not to heal my Dad. Okay? Up until the point you actually do heal him. You have every right to turn around and not do it.”

“Jeez, Toots. Do you, or do you not want your Dad healed,” Beetlejuice asked.

“Of course, I want my Dad to get better, but he’ll heal on his own,” Urbana said, “He’s just the fastest route to that same end. I’m just trying to put his feelings into account.”

“Thank you for that,” Steven said, “You’re a good friend.”

Then Beetlejuice and Steven continued forward, walking past a stunned Urbana. She didn’t realize that she had made Steven her friend.

They entered Bob’s room and Urbana introduced Steven to her Aunt who was reading beside her father. Urbana didn’t see her father’s astral projection, so she assumed that he was back inside his body since he was taken out of his medical coma. Steven did his spit trick and her father was sitting up and talking like normal, though his head was still wrapped up and he couldn’t see.

“We’ll just leave you two alone,” Jane said as she pushed the two men out the hospital room.

“Why does Aunt Jane want us alone together,” Urbana asked as the door closed behind her.

“My mind was real fuzzy before your friend helped me, but I know that she’s trying to get us to make up or at least talk with each other,” Bob said.

“Is there something that you wanted to tell me then,” Urbana asked.

“There is. I wanted to say that I remember almost all of my time in my astral projected form and I especially remember talking to you,” Bob said.

“Oh, yah?”

“I’m disappointed in you. I didn’t raise you to talk to your elders like that,” Bob said, “Especially when I was trying to apologize.”

“I see. Anything else you’d like to add to that,” Urbana asked him.

“I want you to apologize for your behavior towards me,” Bob said.

“Okay, Dad. That’s fair,” Urbana said as she turned to leave.

When Bob heard the door handle rattle he said, “Wait. Where are you going?”

“I’m going to the Addams family mansion. My home. We’re done here,” Urbana said.

Bob was stuttering on his words as Urbana opened the door to find that Jane, Steven, and Beetlejuice were listening in.

“Aunt Jane, make sure Dad gets home okay. I’m done with him,” Urbana said.

“Oh, Urbana,” Jane said pleadingly.

“Come on guys. Let’s go,” Urbana told Beetlejuice and Steven.

“Woo! Yah! You washed your hands of him, girl,” Beetlejuice said, and he raised his hand up for her to hi-five, but she just glared at him. Shielding his eyes, Beetlejuice said, “Okay. Maybe not.”

Urbana went to her room and stayed there. No one could get her out and she let no one in. She only laid in her bed until she had to go to school and/or work.

# # #

Urbana was laying in her bed while doing her homework.

Someone knocked on her door and Urbana was surprised to hear her Aunt Jane’s voice.

“Urbana, Honey? Can I come in?” she asked.

“No.”

“We’ll that’s too bad then,” Jane said before coming into her room anyways, “Why are you only in your underwear and bra-less?”

She closed the door behind her.

“I don’t go to work until five. So sue me,” Urbana said.

“Honey, I’ve been getting texts from Lurch all week telling me you won’t eat, you won’t talk to anyone, and he told me you’ve been wearing the same pair of pajamas to college for the entire time. We’re worried about you,” Jane said.

“I eat. I just haven’t eaten where they can see me. I’m entitled to my alone time. And I can wear whatever I want to wear to school,” Urbana said, “So could you please leave. I have eight different classes whose final projects I have to prepare for and pass with at least a “B” if I’m going to have this final semester paid off with my tuition.”

“Don’t you want to talk about what happened with your father,” Jane asked.

“Oh my god. If you’re not going to leave me alone, I might as well leave for work,” Urbana said as she got up from her bed and her Aunt turned away from her, to give her some privacy.

“Urbana, I know you’re upset, and I know you don’t want to talk about any of this,” she said.

“Oh? Well if you know so much, then why don’t you know when to leave,” Urbana said, as she angrily put her work shirt on.

Jane sighed then said, “Look. You can’t keep hiding like this until the feelings you feel go away.”

“You can’t tell me what to do,” Urbana said as she picked up her purse and phone and started to stomp out of her room.

“I love you,” Jane said, tired and sad.

“And I love you too,” Urbana said, “Enjoy your time with Lurch.” Then Urbana slammed her bedroom door on her Aunt.

Urbana was going around the different tables, picking up dishes, giving people their food, and making sure their drinks were full. She hasn’t seen Beetlejuice or any ghosts in a while, and she assumed that she was putting out so much fiery energy that they would burn to a crisp if they got too close. She was so focused on her work and her own thoughts, that she didn’t realize that Steven was sitting at one of the tables.

“Steven? What are you doing here?”

“I’ve came to taste the local cuisine,” he said as he was looking over the menu.

“It’s an Olive Garden. They’re not that interesting or cuisine-y,” Urbana said.

“I mean, maybe, but I also know that no matter how hard a food corporation tries to be the same everywhere, they always fail, so I’m excited to know what make this place different,” Steven said.

She sighed then she leaned in and said under her breath, “We’re not supposed to, but this Olive Garden buys fruits from Grandmama’s greenhouse for the smoothies.”

He handed her his menu and said, “Then I’ll take a banana-strawberry smoothie with my salad.”

“Right away, Sir,” she said as she took his menu and wrote down his order while walking away.

Urbana was filling up his glass of water as he was complementing the smoothie.

“Thank you for the recommendation,” he said.

“Happy to help, Steven,” Urbana said in her customer service voice.

“Hey, so do you want to hang out after work,” Steven asked.

“I’m sorry. I have too much homework to worry about,” Urbana said as she was picking up his dishes, “I don’t really have much time for anything except for work and school.”

“That’s too bad,” Steven said as he took his bill from her.

It was 12:30pm and Urbana was walking out of the Olive Garden and was heading for her car. Then in the streetlights, she saw Steven asleep on the hood of his car. Urbana walked over to him then hit him in the stomach with her purse.

“Hey!”

He sat up and rubbed his eyes, “Oh, hey. You should have seen the sunset. It was beautiful.”

“What are you doing sleeping in the middle of the parking lot like this? Do you want to be eaten by goblins in your sleep?” Urbana warned him.

He chuckled and asked, “Goblins?”

“I know. I thought goblins only lived in California too, but now I’ve been seeing them pop up here in Jersey. They’re nasty little critters,” she said.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Steven said as he slid off his car.

“Good. Stay safe on your drive back to the mansion,” Urbana said as she was walking away.

“Wait!”

“What?”

“Um. Can we talk?” Steven asked.

“About?”

“What happened at the hospital with your Dad,” he said.

“Ugh, Steven. Don’t therapist me,” she begged.

“I’m not,” he said as he placed a hand on her shoulder, “I’m trying to be a friend. I’ve been in your emotional shoes before.”

“And I believe you, but I honestly don’t want to talk about this,” she said.

“Do you know what happened when I didn’t want to talk to my family and friends about how I was feeling,” Steven asked.

“What?”

“When I was finally cornered, I had an emotional break down that turned me into a giant monster. Literally,” Steven said.

“That’s sounds like it sucked,” Urbana said.

“It did,” he said, “and it’s all the more reason why I don’t want you to get to that point. Maybe you won’t literally turn into a monster like I did, but the emotional weight can still hurt.”

She didn’t say anything for a minute or two. A trash can tipped over in the distance startling them both.

“I’m just so tired, Steven,” Urbana finally said, “I’m so tired of the fighting and I’m tired of crying over what my Dad has done and said to me. I know he loves me. I know he does. I can feel it. I’m just not who he wants to love. And what we had before will only ever be a bitter-sweet memory.”

“Can I give you a hug?” he asked.

She nodded.

The two of them embraced and Urbana couldn’t help but think that Steven was a really good hugger. There was a flash of white and Urben was in Steven and Urbana’s stead.

“Ah! Steven, did I do that,” Urben said in a feminine voice.

“No. We did it together,” Urben said in a masculine voice.

“I don’t want to infect you with my negative emotions,” Feminine Urben said.

“We can un-fuse if you want, but your negative emotions won’t hurt me,” Masculine Urben said.

Urben took a couple of deep breaths. Then they said, “Okay… Will we ever get over our shit?” Then they said, “No. Not really. Never fully. But it’s not hopeless. It’s true that we lose people in our lives, but we gain people too. I also think you’ll never lose your Aunt or that strange Beetlejuice guy.”

They looked up at the stars and at the full moon.

“I feel like going for a walk,” Urben said, then they said, “It _is_ a beautiful night.”


	21. What to do but Talk

It was a week into April, and everyone was saying goodbye to Steven who has decided that he’s going home. Gomez and Morticia were hugging him goodbye.

“Come and visit whenever you want,” Gomez said.

“And bring your father, we’d love to talk to the man that raised you,” Morticia said.

“I’ll be sure to do that,” Steven said, then after they were done hugging, Steven kissed his hand and lightly patted Morticia’s swollen stomach, “For good luck.”

“Thank you,” Morticia and Gomez said at the same time.

Wednesday and Pugsley went up to Steven.

“Will you do the thing for us one last time,” Pugsley asked.

“Alright, hop on,” Steven said as he bent down and flexed his arms. Pugsley and Wednesday grabbed hold of his biceps. Then Steven stood back up with the kids dangling from his arms and he spun around in circles while they screamed with delight.

Jane laughed at the sight as she wrapped her arms around Urbana’s shoulder’s, “Too bad he’s already taken. I think you two would make an even cuter couple.”

Urbana sighed. She knew that her Aunt was only teasing and wasn’t actually being serious about the dating thing.

Lurch came over holding some refreshments. Urbana and Jane took a glass of ice water and Jane gave Lurch a peck on the lips as thanks.

Wednesday and Pugsley let go of Steven when he stopped spinning and they walked away from him giggling and looking dizzy. Then Fester and Grandmama went over to Steven and Fester handed him a small present wrapped in microscope patterned wrapping paper and Grandmama handed him a wrapped plate of food.

“Thank you, Fester. Grandmama.,” Steven said.

“Spread the good word about us, won’t you,” Fester asked.

“Of course,” Steven said as he tossed his present and food into the passenger seat of his car.

Urbana shook her Aunt’s arms off her and handed her, her drink, then as she walked up to Steven she said, “Alright. My Turn. Hug me until my bones crack.”

They gave each other a bear hug with Steven lifting her off the ground, and three parts of Urbana’s back cracked. Steven let go of her and she slid down back onto her own feet.

“Oh, yah,” she said, then she jerked her neck, and her neck part of her spine popped, “That hit the spot. I’m going to miss those.”

Steven chuckled then said, “Thanks. You have my phone number?”

“Yep. I just need a photo,” Urbana said as she took out her phone.

Steven posed with a peace sign and his tongue sticking out as she took his photo for her contacts list.

“When I get settled in, I’m inviting you to Beach City,” Steven said, “It’ll be fun to show you what has changed and what has stayed the same.”

“I can’t wait,” Urbana said, “Stay safe.”

“You too,” he said.

Steven then shrunk down and slid neatly into his small car and everyone watched him drive off. Then once the car was out of sight everyone went off to do their own thing.

Jane walked up to Urbana to stand beside her and handed back her drink. She took a sip from hers, then she asked, “So how many friends have you made now?”

“He’s the fifth one, along with the four other, not quite friends but friendly, adults that’s I’ve acquainted myself with,” Urbana said.

“I’m so happy and proud of you,” Jane said.

“When will you be going home,” Urbana asked.

“You’re not getting rid of me that easily,” Jane said as she patted Urbana’s back, “Besides. I’m a clothes designer. I can work anywhere that has Internet connection.”

Urbana gave her Aunt an annoyed look.

“I’ll leave next week,” Jane said, “I just want to spend some more time with Lurch as well as with you.”

Urbana smiled mischievously then said, “No. No. Aunt Jane. I see where your heart is,” She started walking back inside, “Don’t let me stop you from your prince charming.”

“Urbana. Wait,” Jane whined as she followed her niece inside.

# # #

Urbana and Gomez were fencing each other in full protective gear, with Jane watching them while sitting beside Lurch who was playing on the grand piano.

“Your stance still needs some practice, but your sword swinging technique has improved greatly,” Gomez said, proudly.

“I know, thank you,” Urbana said with an excited little squeak.

Jane watched them fence each other in silence for a while as it looked like they were really getting into it then when they went back to circling each other, she said, “So what exactly is the point of you learning fencing.”

“I always find battling like this, enthralling and thought provoking for later tactics,” Gomez said.

“I was talking to Urbana,” Jane clarified.

“Well, I did it just to do something physically fun, but now I do it to better protect myself from ghost bounty hunters,” Urbana said.

Jane sighed as Urbana lunged and got a point on Gomez, then she said, “Is there any way we can find this Vlad-guy and just take him out? I don’t like that he’s able to put a bounty on you without us at least kicking his ass once or twice for it.”

Gomez got in three points on Urbana and kicked her feet from under her, making her fall on her back. While he was helping her back up on her feet Urbana said, “He’s hiding somewhere in the Ghost Zone and that place is HUGE Aunt Jane. It would take years to look for him in there without some kind of plan that I honestly don’t have a lot of time for. That’s what the ghost barrier is for.”

“The Fenton’s are at least doing something about it, right,” Jane asked.

Urbana only shrugged, “I don’t know. I haven’t really asked about it.”

“Well, maybe you should,” Jane said as Urbana and Gomez got ready to go at each other again, “Is it even an effective barrier if it cuts through the graveyard?”

“I assure you, the ghosts that live in our private cemetery are all good people and would never want to help people like Vlad hurt Urbana,” Gomez said, “Besides, Jack said the barrier had to be perfectly round to be an affective barrier.”

Jane huffed angrily.

“Right now, all I’m trying to focus on is school, work, and becoming a better fighter,” Urbana said, “I don’t want a repeat of what happened in the woods.”

“Yes, thank god Steven was there with you,” Jane said as Gomez parried an attack from Urbana.

“How exactly do you want to be a better fighter,” Gomez asked.

“I don’t know. I think keeping up these fencing lessons is a good step, but I think I need to practice more close quarter combat techniques,” Urbana said.

“Do you remember your boxing lessons,” Jane asked.

“I mean a little, but I don’t want to do anything that could damage my hands easily,” Urbana said, “I still want to be able to draw my comics.”

Gomez tripped her up again and managed to make her drop her sword.

“I think I can help with that,” Gomez said, “I used to know someone when I was but a boy who helped teach me how to fight for myself. His kicks were so powerful that he was able to crack and shatter boulders with one kick.”

“Wow, can you contact him?” Urbana asked as she took back her sword.

“Oh, God, no. He’s a troll, and he moved away from my hometown years ago to go live at a place called Troll Market. I have no way of contacting him,” Gomez said.

“Oh.”

“But I still know and practice the lessons he taught me, and I can teach you myself,” Gomez said.

“Does that mean I’ll one day be able to shatter a bolder with one kick like Sanji from OnePiece,” Urbana asked.

“No, but you’ll be able to do a lot of cool flips and jumps, like you see me do when I’m training Pugsley and/or Wednesday,” Gomez said, “And I’ll make sure you’re able to break someone’s ribs with one kick too.”

“Sounds good,” Urbana said.

“I wish you luck with that then,” Jane said as she leaned her head on Lurch’s shoulder.

# # #

It was a late night and Urbana was in the kitchen working on her homework and finishing up some of her final projects when her Aunt Jane walked in.

“You’re still up?”

“Yah, what are you doing up,” Urbana asked.

“I just got done talking to Mrs. Fenton and how she’s been reassuring me that she and her family are trying their best to find Vlad,” Jane said.

“You’re still worried about that,” Urbana asked.

“Shouldn’t you be more worried,” Jane questioned her.

“You see, this is why I didn’t want to tell you about my bounty,” she said as she set aside a paper she’ll review later.

Jane sighed angrily.

“Look. I appreciate that you’re worried about me, but there’s nothing much you can do about the situation,” Urbana said, “I’ve just got more important and immediate things to worry about.”

Jane went over and kissed Urbana on the forehead then she said, “I know.”

Jane then went to the fridge and got out a tub of chocolate ice cream and dug a spoon out of a drawer and sat at the table with Urbana, eating ice cream straight from the tub. Wordlessly, Urbana asked for a bite and Jane shared with her. After a minute or two of silence Urbana asked a question.

“So, what are you going to do about Dad?”

“I don’t know,” Jane said, “This is practically playing out like when I had a fight with my father and I never spoke to him until I went to his funeral. I don’t want that to happen between you and your Dad.”

“There’s only so much you can do for a stubborn person, though,” Urbana said.

“I’m hoping to convince Bob into going to see my therapist with me,” Jane said before she ate a large spoon full of chocolate ice cream.

“I didn’t know you were seeing a therapist,” Urbana said.

“It never came up in conversation,” Jane said with a shrug.

Jane then gave Urbana a bite of ice cream.

“I hope it’s doing wonders for you,” Urbana said.

“It is. Thanks,” Jane said.

Jane continued to sit and eat her ice cream while Urbana worked on her homework.

# # #

Before going to school, Urbana and Lurch bid farewell to Jane who gave them both goodbye kisses. Then once Urbana was outside the ghost barrier and was at the end of the driveway, Bobby Juice was standing by her mailbox waiting for her to pick him up.

“Hey, hipster wannabe,” Urbana greeted as he sat in the passenger seat.

“Hey, flesh bag,” Beetlejuice said as he closed the car door.

“Ready to play pretend,” She asked him.

“All the gods in the world can never make me ready,” Beetlejuice said. Then he immediately fell asleep.

Urbana couldn’t help but laugh. Then she said, “You don’t need to sleep.”

Beetlejuice just snored in response.

Urbana then proceeded to drive to school.

Beetlejuice as “Bobby Juice” managed to behave himself for the most part, for Urbana’s sake, but he still entertained himself by asking dumb questions like, when he’s going to learn Spanish in world literature class.

Eventually it was time for lunch and Urbana was looking over her psychology 101 class’s vocab., for the test that she was going to have to take soon, while she ate. Then Susie showed up.

“How’s my favorite man?” Susie asked.

Beetlejuice leaned back in his chair with his arms behind his head, then he said, “Do I look like I know how many men you have in your life?”

“What?” Susie said, confused.

“Though, if I had to guess. I suppose your father is fine?” Beetlejuice said.

Urbana was smiling ear to ear at the conversation while Susie was trying to recalibrate her mind.

Still smiling, Urbana asked, “Are you sitting with us again, Susie? Or are you just visiting?”

“…I’m sitting,” she said.

Beetlejuice pulled up a chair for her.

“So, what were you two talking about,” Susie asked.

“The sex life of pizza,” Urbana answered was she flipped through her flash cards.

Susie looked like a lightbulb broke inside her head.

“What?” She asked.

“Urbana thinks that a supreme pizza has the most charismatic sex life, but I think the meat galore has the most charismatic sex life,” Beetlejuice said.

“A meat galore only has meat on it, it doesn’t have the decadent flavors of vegetables that the supreme has, plus it’s called a supreme, ergo its got a better sex life than the meat galore,” Urbana said.

“Absolutely not. You veggie people just don’t understand the deep flavor that all meats have and besides, a meat galore implies that it has a big package, and bigger is always better,” Beetlejuice said.

“Please, once it’s inside it’ll think that that’s all it has to do, and I’ve tasted meat before, and all I ever tasted is salt. Meat always tastes so unbearably salty,” Urbana said.

“Ha, ha! Yah it does,” Beetlejuice said as he raised his hand up for Urbana to hi-five.

Urbana left him hanging as she stared at him in confusion.

“…I’m doing a blowjob joke,” Beetlejuice said.

Urbana put two plus two together and immediately dry heaved. She then ran for the bathroom.

Urbana didn’t throw up, since the running water of the sink and the fabreeze lilac smell helped settle her stomach, but her appetite was definitely gone now. Once she was calmer, she walked out of the bathroom and went back to the table to see Beetlejuice sitting there with his hand still in the air waiting for someone to hi-five him. Urbana couldn’t help but smile at the stupidness. As she got closer Urbana could hear Susie talking to Beetlejuice.

“How did you like my pictures, Bobby,” Susie asked.

“I deleted them as soon as I saw what they were,” Beetlejuice said.

“Oh, come on,” Susie said, “I thought you weren’t dating anyone.”

“I’m not,” Beetlejuice said.

“Why not go out with me then. I won’t run at the idea of having sex,” Susie said.

“You mean besides how desperate you’ve been acting? Well, for starters, if I’m going to date a human, they have to be at least ninety years old. That’s as low as I’m willing to go,” Beetlejuice said, “And I don’t even think you’re desperate in the “right way” if that makes any sense.”

Susie picked up a glass of water and was about to throw it into Beetlejuice’s face, but Urbana covered the top and slammed it down back onto the table.

“Leave,” Urbana told, Susie.

Susie glared at Urbana then turned to Beetlejuice and said, “She thinks she can talk to ghosts! What kind of sick-o weirdo thinks that!? Huh?”

Urbana just rolled her eyes at her behavior, but when she looked at Beetlejuice, she legitimately felt scared for Susie.

Beetlejuice dropped his Bobby Juice persona and his humanoid head and still raised hand was all that was left of his normal body as a black and white striped snake’s body was in its place. Yellow fangs jutted out of his mouth with his wormy tongue licking his lips. His eyes were completely yellow with no iris in the middle.

“Say that again,” Beetlejuice said as he raised his snake body in the air, looking ready to strike, “I dare you.”

The cafeteria was dead silent.

“Whatever you do, Susie. Don’t run,” Urbana warned her.

Susie ran away. Beetlejuice slithered after her making everyone scream.

“Beetlejuice! No!” Urbana yelled as she ran after them.

Urbana could hear Susie’s scream of terror over everyone else’s screams of confusion and fear with Beetlejuice’s hateful hissing sounds as she chased them through the school and out into the courtyard. Susie ran around some trees trying to get more of a lead on Beetlejuice, which helped Urbana catch up to them and grab Beetlejuice’s snake tail. Urbana then was pulled into a tree and was scraped badly but she held onto that tree with her legs before Beetlejuice could drag her off.

Beetlejuice took a second to understand why his big snake body wasn’t moving forward to kill Susie. But then he heard someone humming a song that he wrote behind him, he turned around, and he saw Urbana holding for dear life to his tail and to the tree.

“I didn’t know you still knew that song I taught you,” Beetlejuice said.

“Are you calmer?” Urbana asked, “Please say you’re calmer.”

Beetlejuice looked around at the random people looking at him in horror as people had their phones out and were filming them. He then turned invisible to the crowd around him and turned back into his normal ghost form.

Urbana then stood up and stretched the soreness out of her arms and legs and made sure she scrapes weren’t bleeding that badly.

Beetlejuice was about to apologize to her but then all of the spectators started cheering and rushed Urbana.

“That was amazing!”

“You wrestled it out of existence!”

“What’s your name?”

“Can I take a pic with you?”

Urbana scrambled to get out of the mob and as she ran, she said, “Sorry. No comment!”

Off and on all day, Urbana had to deal with at least one person who saw what happened in the courtyard and had to deal with them interrupting her studies. Urbana walked to her car, planning on going home early instead of staying to study and do homework. Beetlejuice was already in the car sitting in the passenger seat with his hand still in the air.

“Oh my god, are you not going to lower your hand?” Urbana said with a half-hearted chuckle.

“I’m sure I will eventually, but right now, this visual gag is the only thing that’s making you laugh. If ever so slightly,” Beetlejuice said.

Urbana sighed then rested her head on the steering wheel.

“Sorry that joke made you gag. I thought it would be a sex joke you would be able to handle,” Beetlejuice said.

“Is that all you have to say about today,” Urbana asked, sounding tired.

“I’m also sorry I blew up there,” Beetlejuice added, “I should have taken revenge in a more incognito way.”

“No, Beetlejuice. You shouldn’t have taken revenge at all,” Urbana said, “You’ve already broken your promise to me.”

“…I know. I—I just hated how she looked at me when she told me about your ghost sight,” he said, “That smug look of triumph and the glint of superiority, like she won some fucking battle, filled me with rage.”

“You know what would have been a better reaction towards her,” Urbana said, “If you just said, “So?” or “And your point?”, it would have been just as affective.”

Urbana then raised her head and looked at Beetlejuice and added, “But I’ve got to admit, the look of terror on her face was priceless… You weren’t planning on killing her though, right?”

“No. Of course not,” Beetlejuice lied, “I was just going to rough her up a bit.”

Urbana then hi-fived him and said, “Good.”

Susie banged hard on Urbana’s car window and Urbana rolled it down.

“Are you doing okay,” Urbana asked her.

Susie then threw a crucifix into Urbana’s lap and said, “Burn demon!”

Susie stood there for a moment waiting for Urbana to writhe in pain.

“God, I hate her so much,” Beetlejuice said.

“Why aren’t you burning,” Susie asked as she pulled out another crucifix and held it up between her and Urbana like she was wielding a shield.

“You know I was a choir singer for our town’s church, right,” Urbana asked, wondering what she remembered about their childhood together.

“You must have made a deal with the devil if that thing came out of nowhere,” Susie said, “I will never rest until I bring both you monsters’ down.”

“Can I just spook her a little,” Beetlejuice begged, “I promise I won’t touch her. I just want to make her scream.”

“No thanks. Not today,” Urbana said as she turned on her car, “Take care. Okay, Susie. I hope you get some sleep.”

“Your fake worry only fuels my determination to bring you down, faker,” Susie said as Urbana rolled up her window.

Susie yelled more promises of destruction on Urbana’s life, but Urbana ignored it and drove away.

They drove home in silence for a while, then Urbana asked, “You taught me a song?”

“Do you hear that sound?” Beetlejuice sing-songed.

Urbana just shrugged.

“I’ll reteach you,” Beetlejuice said.

# # #

Wednesday walked into Urbana’s room as she was finishing her final drawing project for her figure drawing class.

“Urbana, help me,” she said, tonelessly.

“Oh? Okay,” Urbana said as she set aside her drawing, “What do you need help with?”

“My back is a mess,” Wednesday said.

“Alright come in and close the door and I’ll have a look at it,” Urbana said.

Wednesday did as she was told and then she sat in front of Urbana and unzipped the back of her dress. Acne covered half of her back.

“Oh, no,” Urbana said, “Back-ne. And it looks bad too.”

“Can you help me fix it,” she asked.

“Wouldn’t Grandmama have a special salve for this,” Urbana asked.

“Yah, but it’s not fast enough,” Wednesday said, “I was hoping you’d have an idea of getting rid of it sooner.”

“Why do you even need to get rid of it, soon, your dress covers it up nicely,” she asked.

“I want to wear my new backless dress that I got for my date that I’m going to have tomorrow,” Wednesday said.

Urbana gasped at the exciting news, “You have a date!? With who!?”

Wednesday turned around and looked at Urbana in confusion, “I’ve been dating Lydia for months now. Are you telling me you never noticed?”

“Do I look like I know when people are dating. But that’s beside the point, when did you guys start dating?” she asked.

“Um, sometime after my fifteenth birthday,” Wednesday answered.

Urbana shook Wednesday’s shoulders as she squealed, “I’m so happy for you both!”

“Thank— you—now—stop—shake—ing—me,” Wednesday begged.

Urbana squealed one last time then she took a deep breath and said, “Okay. Okay, I’m calm.”

“So can you help,” she asked.

“Listen. The real medicine for these kinds of things is just good old time and proper hygiene,” Urbana said, “But if you insist, I’ll give you my “short cut” to getting rid of acne,” Urbana said, “Cause, let me tell you, I had the worst leg and ass acne anyone could have when I was your age.”

“Thank you,” Wednesday said.

Urbana then gave her a list of things to have; a bar of non-moisturizing soap, a needle with some alcohol to disinfect it, ice, and grandmama’s salve. Once everything was gathered, Urbana had Wednesday wash her back with the bar of soap, then Urbana used the needle to help her pop the zits, then she used the ice to alleviate the swelling all the popping caused, then she slathered on her back Grandmama’s salve to remoisturize the area.

“Now, be sure to sleep on your stomach tonight, and don’t sleep with a shirt on, or at least sleep with a tank-top on and not your usual night gown,” Urbana advised.

“Thanks for helping me out,” Wednesday said.

“It’s no problem at all,” she said, “I may not get the whole dating scene, but it’s important to you so it’s important to me.”

“Do you think you’ll ever find your Mr. or Mrs. Right,” Wednesday asked as she put her shirt back on and sat up in Urbana’s bed.

Urbana shrugged as she sat down beside Wednesday and said, “I don’t know. I’m not entirely worried about it. The real question for me, I think, is, will I die alone?”

Wednesday waited for her to answer her own question.

“I mean, I hope not, but unexpected things can happen. All I really want is a forever friend,” Urbana said, “Sure, I’m friends with Danny, Jazz, Tucker, Sam, and Steven, but they live their own lives separate from my own and that’s great, but I don’t know, I guess it would just be fun to have a peer who’s alive and wants to be in my life.”

“That sounds like you want to have a romantic partner,” Wednesday said.

“You think so,” Urbana asked, “I don’t know about that. I guess I’m just romanticizing about having roommates.”

Wednesday got out of Urbana’s bed and stood up, then said, “Well, I’ll leave you to your homework then.”

“Tell me when you’re getting ready for your date, okay? What we did helped with the acne, but it won’t get rid of the scabs,” Urbana said, “We’ll use make up to cover them up.”

“Okay, thanks,” Wednesday said before she left Urbana’s room.

# # #

Urbana was in the living room with Morticia as they were watching a movie together on the couch with Grandmama snoring in the recliner beside them, and Urbana was massaging Morticia’s feet.

Morticia said, “You’re really good at that.”

“Thanks. I get that a lot,” Urbana said.

“You should get a license in massaging,” she added.

“I get _that_ a lot too,” Urbana said.

“Why don’t you want to get one,” Morticia asked.

“I don’t want to be in a position where someone could ask me for a hand job so freely,” she said as she finished massaging Morticia’s feet, “Unless they mean an actual _hand_ job,” then she went to massage one of Morticia’s hands.

Morticia lightly giggled at Urbana’s pun.

The two of them were silent for a bit as they watched the random movie they were watching. Grandmama snored loudly then coughed, then went back to snoring softly.

“How are you feeling, being so close to having some new children,” Urbana asked Morticia.

“Oh, I’m excited and a little sad,” Morticia said.

“Why is it sad,” she asked.

“This will be the closest my child will ever be to me,” Morticia said, “I do hope that who ever they may be, that they find what makes them happy and face life’s challenges with the grace of a dew drop on a spider’s web, but there’s a closeness in this stage of pregnancy, a type of oneness that doesn’t make you feel alone. I’ll miss that.”

Morticia rubbed her swollen belly as she looked sentimentally at herself.

“You make being pregnant sound beautiful,” Urbana said, “I’m surprised you and Gomez don’t have a dozen children by now.”

Morticia chuckled lightly.

“Yes, well, if we did that, then we wouldn’t be able to give them the attention that they deserve. Gomez and Fester would know,” Morticia said, “and you sound like you’re afraid of the idea of being pregnant.”

“I just don’t like the idea of my body changing in such a dramatic fashion and it never being the same again,” Urbana said as she hugged her legs to her chest.

Morticia wrapped an arm around Urbana’s shoulders and said, “That is fine, my dear, not everyone can handle that sort of change. You’ll make a good Aunt/big sister, I think.”

“I hope so,” Urbana said, “I’ve never really handled a lot of babies before.”

“Neither have Pugsley or Wednesday,” Morticia said, “It’ll be a good bonding experience for all of us.”

Grandmama snorted loudly then woke up. She stretched then got out of the recliner then said, “I’m going to make some tea.”


	22. New Life New Problems

It was May and Urbana Des Moines went outside to greet the Fenton’s who rolled up to the mansion and parked right outside the ghost barrier. They all hopped out of the RV at the same time and Urbana saw a new girl with them that looked like Danny’s twin.

“Oh, hello Urbana,” Maddie greeted and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“Hey, Kiddo,” Jack said as he crushed her in his hug, “I hope the barrier has been keeping you safe.”

“It has,” Urbana said, struggling to breath, “Thanks.”

Jack let go and immediately Jazz embraced her.

“I’m so glad you told us how you were feeling about your father,” Jazz said, “I was getting worried about you when you didn’t want to talk.”

Her voice muffled by Jazz’s bosom, Urbana said, “Did you get a haircut? It looks nice.”

Jazz let go of Urbana and fanned out her hair and said, “Thank you for noticing. Ghosts in battle kept pulling at it, so it was about time I cut it to shoulder length.”

Tucker and Sam pushed Jazz out of the way and Urbana hugged them, saying, “I missed you guys. I can’t wait to play Dungeon and Dragons with you.”

“The world that you have made will be torn asunder by my character,” Tucker said.

“It’ll be fun to hang out with you again,” Sam added.

Urbana then let go of them and put on her metal gloves and went up to Danny.

“Did you get fucking taller,” Urbana asked him.

“Yah,” Danny said as he rubbed the back of his head, “I didn’t think I hand more growing to do either.”

Urbana saw how his arm muscles bulged and said, “You got jacked too!”

“Why do you sound so upset about that,” Danny asked, confused and amused.

“What happened to my favorite string bean, bean pole boy,” Urbana cried as she took him by the arms and shook him, “How did you change so much?”

Danny stepped out of her grasp then said, “The same could be said about you, tiny.”

“Oh?”

“You’re jacked too,” Danny comically admired her arms, “Do you lift boulders in your spare time? Or is it just the fencing you’ve been doing?”

“I guess a little bit of both,” Urbana said as she flexed her arms.

“What?”

The girl that looked like Danny’s twin pushed Danny back and stuck her hand out to shake Urbana’s hand.

“Hi. I’m Dani Phantom,” she said.

Urbana shook her hand, “Nice to meet you… Are you a clone or is the family resemblance in this family just super spot on?”

“A little bit of both,” Dani said.

“What?”

Sam wrapped an arm around Urbana’s shoulders and said, “It’s a long story.”

“Where’s everyone else,” Maddie asked.

“Morticia went into labor last night,” Urbana answered.

“What!?” Everyone cried out at once.

“Why didn’t you tell us as soon as you saw us,” Jack said as he got back into the driver’s seat of the RV.

While everyone else raced back into the RV, Urbana said, “Well, we were saying hello.”

Maddie picked Urbana up, bridal style, then threw her into the back of the RV with them.

“Whoa,” Urbana said as she landed on Tucker.

“Did they text you where they were,” Jack asked.

Sitting on Tucker’s lap Urbana pulled out her phone and then pulled up her text message from Pugsley then handed it to Maddie.

Maddie then connected it to the RV and brought up the GPS on Urbana’s phone, then Jack said, “Everyone buckle up.”

Urbana looked around and saw that all the seats were taken.

“Wait. Maybe I shouldn’t—”

Jack floored the gas pedal and sped off down the gravel driveway.

“Oh my god, is this how you drive?” Urbana screeched.

“It’s something you get used to,” Danny said as he and everyone else swayed with the RV.

Urbana grabbed Tucker’s hands and wrapped them around her waist, “Don’t let go.”

“Okay,” He said, voice cracking.

During the whole drive Urbana was more focused on making sure she didn’t fly around the RV like a pinball to notice Tucker getting shit from everyone about having Urbana sitting on his lap and having his hands around her waist. Finally, they found a parking place at the hospital that the Addams family were at and the RV screeched to a halt.

As they got out of the RV, Urbana and Tucker were relieved that the drive was over, but for different reasons.

Urbana then followed everyone into the hospital and watched as they asked the front desk where the Addams were at. The front desk person said where they were but also told them that there were too many people and they had to keep some people in the waiting room.

“Maddie, Jazz, Danny,” Jack said, “You three go on ahead. We’ll stay here so you can go see the new baby.”

Maddie kissed him then said, “We’ll text you pictures.” Then Maddie, Danny, and Jazz followed a nurse to where the Addams were at.

“So,” Dani said, “You’re a ghost battery. Is that why you glow gold or something?”

“Either they have told you about me, or you’re half ghost like Danny Boy and Vlad Bastard,” Urbana said.

“It’s both,” Dani said.

“Good thing I’m still wearing my metal gloves then. What brings you here,” Urbana asked.

“I got homesick so I decided to visit the fam for a while,” Dani said as she put her hands behind her head and leaned back in her stance, “It’s tough being a world wide ghost super hero, yah know?”

“I do not know,” Urbana said.

“Who’s hungry kids,” Jack asked.

“I could use a snack,” Tucker said.

“I know what you’d like a bite out of,” Sam teased.

“Why are you doing this to me,” Tucker asked as they started walking to the cafeteria.

“Cause it’s fun to watch you squirm,” Sam said as she lightly punched him in the shoulder.

Urbana got between the two of them and said, “Well I don’t like watching the poor man squirm,” she then squished his cheeks together and said, “How can you tease such a cutie pie. It should be illegal.”

“Oh,” Sam said mischief in her eyes, “You think Tucker’s cute?”

Urbana let go of Tucker’s face then said, “Yes, I like the way his nose wrinkles when he tries not to smile.”

Tucker grabbed his shirt over his heart like he was telling himself, be still my beating heart, but Urbana didn’t notice.

“I also like your lips, Sam. You have like the best-looking lips I know,” Urbana complemented.

“O-oh, um,” Sam stuttered.

“And I just met you Dani, but you have such lovely eyes, like you were born with lightning in them,” Urbana continued with the complement train.

Dani just gave her a surprised look.

“I also love your hands Jack,” Urbana told him, “They look big enough to hold a baby with one hand and strong enough to crush a boulder. They are really good hands.”

“Thank you, Urbana,” Jack said, “That’s nice of you to say.”

“I have even more specific complements too,” Urbana said.

“Oh, look,” Tucker interrupted, “We’re at the cafeteria.”

The five of them looked around at the hospital food and looked at the different vending machines for ten minutes before Jack got a text.

“Guy’s Morticia had twins,” Jack announced as he showed them a picture that Maddie sent him. The picture showed Morticia holding both babies in her arms while Gomez, Wednesday, Pugsley, Danny, Jazz, and Grandmama sat around the hospital bed with her.

“Oh, wow,” Urbana said, “I thought she was just having one big baby.”

“Man, that doctor that they went to did not do a good job,” Dani said.

“It’s a nice surprise though,” Tucker said.

“Not really,” Sam said, “Now they have to buy more stuff and maybe find a different room to put them in.”

Maddie sent them a text and it said that the red headed baby is a boy and the black headed baby is a girl.

“Look at that,” Urbana said, “I’m sure Grandpapa would be proud.”

“What are their names,” Dani asked.

“Hold on I’ll ask,” Jack said as he turned his phone around and started texting. In the middle of his writing of his text, Maddie sent another text. “Oh. She says that the boy’s name is Red, and the girl’s name is Raven.”

“That’s fitting,” Tucker said.

“Awe, I’m sure Hellboy will love it,” Urbana said.

The five of them got some snacks then they met up with Fester and Lurch who were getting back from exploring the gift shop in the hospital. Then everyone waited until the hospital had done some final checkups on Morticia and the twins and by the end of the day everyone was able to go back to the mansion. As the Fenton’s parked outside the ghost barrier again Urbana had a question to ask.

“So, how is Danny and Dani going to do this? Are we going to have to turn the barrier off and on for them or are they going to be forced to live in the RV?”

“Well, I’m glad you asked, Urbana,” Maddie said, sounding like an announcer from the _Price is Right_, “Because we invented these bracelets for them.”

Maddie then pulled out a box from the glove compartment then opened the box in Urbana’s, and everyone else’s, line of sight.

Jack said, “These bracelets are DNA friendly and will allow Danny and Dani to pass through the barrier safely and if anyone but them wears the bracelets and tries to cross they will be singed.”

“Cool. Thanks Aunt Maddie and Uncle Jack,” Dani said as she went over and grabbed a bracelet.

“Thanks guys. You didn’t have to do that though. We would have just slept in the RV. It does have built in beds after all,” Danny said as he grabbed the other one.

“Oh, where’s the fun in that,” Maddie said.

Then everyone hopped out of the RV and walked into the Mansion.

# # #

Urbana was outside the graveyard with Gomez who was training her with the help of the forest fairy, Morgan. Morgan was twisting the trees and rocks to their will to make an obstacle course for Urbana. Gomez, with the twins in a sling on his chest and holding a grocery bag, stood before Urbana, giving her a review of the day’s workout.

“I feel like the troll type of training is very brutal,” Urbana said once Gomez finished.

“Well, that’s because trolls are a brutal type of people,” Gomez said, “I remember Rock telling me the three rules of the Trollhunters and the second rule being you always have to kill your opponent after defeating them.”

Urbana winced at the idea.

“It’s not such a bad thing if you’re quick and merciful,” Gomez said, “But I don’t think every conflict ending should have death in it either.”

“I just think that’s your human weakness showing,” Morgan said.

“Are you done with the course?” Gomez asked.

“I am,” they said.

“Your payment then,” Gomez said as he handed them a thermos of milk and a plastic bag of oreo cookies from the grocery bag he was holding.

“If you could manipulate the foliage like this, why didn’t you help me with Skulker when he dragged me through the woods?” Urbana asked them.

Morgan was digging through the bag and said, “Well, you didn’t ask for me.” Then they took a bite out of a cookie and disappeared into the woods.

“Lovely,” Urbana said.

“Anyway,” Gomez said, “This course is to help with your stamina and flexibility. Your strength training is all well and good, but you are no good if you get tired after throwing only a few kicks and are unable to change with surprises in the environment.”

“Uh, should I be wearing some protective gear or something,” Urbana asked.

Gomez took a bicycle helmet out of the grocery bag and gave it to her. She put it on.

“Now go run through the course and I’ll time you. We’ll see you at the end of it. Won’t we my darlings,” Gomez said, cooing at the twins strapped to his chest.

Urbana was about to go run the course when explosions sounded from the lake.

“Oh, that sounds exciting,” Gomez said.

It wasn’t long until they saw Beetlejuice running towards them with a furious Danny in his ghost form flying behind him and shooting green ghost rays at Beetlejuice.

Laughing, Beetlejuice yelled, “Save me! Save me! Save me!” as he got closer to Gomez and Urbana.

Danny got one good hit in that missed Beetlejuice but did send him flying through the air and landing in Urbana’s arms.

“That’s convenient,” Urbana said, holding Beetlejuice bridal style.

“I thrive on conveniency,” Beetlejuice said.

“Stop touching her,” Danny growled, his hands glowing green

Then it clicked in Urbana’s head, “Wait, did I forget to tell you about him.”

“You forgot to tell him about me,” Beetlejuice said, “and you tell me I’m the forgetful one.”

Danny’s hands stopped glowing green and he said, “So you’re not here, sent by Vlad, to try and kidnap Urbana?”

“No,” Urbana said, “Danny. Meet Beetlejuice, my first best friend and big brother figure. Beetlejuice. Meet Danny Fenton, my newest best friend.”

Danny transformed back into his living form and asked, “You’re dead right? How are you touching her without her passing out and you turning into an energetic mess?”

“Well for starters, honey,” Beetlejuice said, still in Urbana’s arms, “I’m completely dead and you’re not.” Then he snapped his fingers and disappeared then reappeared behind Danny and said, “and I’ve been dead for around six hundred years now. I know a thing or two.”

“And what were you doing at the lake,” Urbana asked Beetlejuice.

“I was setting up some pranks,” he said as he leaned on Danny, “Wanted to give them my best first impression.”

“Oh, that’s fun,” Gomez said.

“Welp, with that settled,” Urbana said, “Ready to time me, Gomez.”

He nodded.

Urbana then started running into the obstacle course. Ten minutes later, Urbana crossed the finish line, crawling on her hands and knees, and looking like she’s been hit by and fallen into a lot of things.

Gomez turned off the timer and said, “Good first go, Dear.”

Urbana could only give him a thumbs up.

“Urbana, do you really have to do this,” Danny asked while Beetlejuice helped her back on her feet.

“Technically no, but also, technically yes,” Urbana said.

“Eh, I think it looks fun. Really spicing up her life,” Beetlejuice said.

“Do you want to be a trainer then,” Danny asked him.

Beetlejuice just shrugged.

“Would you be against teaching me how to touch her without making her pass out,” Danny asked.

“Why? Is that goth not good enough for you anymore,” Beetlejuice teased, so Urbana slapped him in the back of his head, then he said, “Okay. I’m sorry. I’m fine with training you. It’ll give me something new to do for a while.”

“Cool. Thanks,” Danny said.

# # #

Urbana was doing her daily dose of handstand pushups in the living room while she was trying to translate the diary that she got from vacation. Then she felt someone pull her shirt up and tuck them into her pants.

“What are you doing,” Sam asked.

“Well, Gomez says that if I’m not going to swing punches that I’ve got to make sure that my upper body can hold me up like—”

“That’s not what I’m talking about,” Sam said.

“Oh. I’m trying to translate this diary. Apparently, this fish-man had the same kind of life problems as I did,” Urbana said.

“Why haven’t you asked George, Linda, or Lily to translate it for you. They’re fish people,” Sam asked.

“I’ve already tried that. They said that it’s in a different fish-man language than the one that they know,” Urbana answered.

The timer on Urbana’s phone went off and she got out of her handstand and sat down on the floor and turned off her phone timer.

“Besides, it’s been fun translating it, if only a little frustrating,” Urbana said as she pointed out a word to Sam, “See this. According to the book depending on the context of the sentence this word can mean a good thing, a bad thing, or a sarcastic thing and I don’t understand the context.”

“Hu-uh.”

“Hey, do you want to help me with this. You know, when I’m not at work,” Urbana asked.

“Oh no. That seems more of a question for Jazz and/or Tucker,” Sam said.

“Okay.”

Sam sat down with her and asked, “So, what _do_ you think of Tucker?”

Urbana was going to answer normally but then she felt like Sam was asking a double question.

“Why are you asking me a question like that,” Urbana asked, “Am I not being a good enough friend to him?”

“I didn’t mean to imply that,” Sam said.

“What did you _mean_ to imply then,” Urbana asked.

“I said that wrong,” Sam said, “I just want to know what you think of Tucker.”

“Why are you fake curious about my thoughts about Tucker,” Urbana asked, “you already know how I feel about him when we all hang out together or when we get back from hanging out by ourselves.”

“No. Not really,” Sam said.

“I don’t understand,” Urbana said. She was starting to wonder if she wasn’t showing enough affection towards him.

“Well, you’re really hands-y with him and you always try and protect him from our friendly teasing, and you act kind of goofy around him,” Sam said.

“Is that bad,” Urbana asked, “Am I making him uncomfortable? Tell me what it is he’s not liking, and I’ll change it.”

“No. It’s not like that,” Sam said.

“Then what is it,” Urbana asked, getting choked up and worried, “What am I doing wrong that makes you think that I don’t want to be a good friend to Tucker, huh!?”

Urbana was trying really hard not to cry because she felt like it was a stupid thing to cry over.

Tucker then came out of hiding from the main hall.

“Ah! Please don’t cry,” Tucker said as he ran up to them, “I didn’t mean to make you so upset. I just wanted to know if you liked me.”

“Of course, I like you. Why wouldn’t I like you, you’re my friend,” Urbana said, more confused than ever.

“No,” Sam interjected, “He’s saying he has a crush on you.”

“What?”

“I think it would be cool, if we could, ya know, go on dates and kiss and stuff like that,” Tucker finally admitted out loud to her.

“Oh…” Urbana said, lost for words.

Nervous himself, Tucker started rambling, “You know, I think I had a crush on you the moment I saw you and getting to know you more just made it seem even more of an awesome idea to like kiss you and hold hands and other couple-y stuff…”

Tucker kept rambling the longer Urbana stayed quiet. The only thing that was going through Urbana mind was the first thing he said about always having a crush on her. She knows from media and from her own life experience that people who have crushes on other people never want them to be their friends. That thought broke her heart.

Tears sprung from Urbana eyes like uncontrollable waterfalls. Sam and Tucker hand no idea what to do and tried to comfort her but through her gasping sobs Urbana could only call out for Jazz. Eventually, Jazz came and sent Tucker and Sam away.

As Urbana was being held by Jazz, Urbana said through her sobs, “Tucker doesn’t want to be my friend. He never wanted to be my friend.”

It took a long time for Jazz to calm Urbana down and reassure her.

“Of course Tucker wants to be your friend. You two _are_ friends,” Jazz said as she patted Urbana head.

“He said he has a crush on me,” Urbana said.

“That’s right,” Jazz said.

“So that means there’ll always be a lingering feeling of bitterness between us,” Urbana said, “Because I can’t feel the same way about him. He won’t want to be friends with me any more now that he’ll know that I can’t like him the same way that he likes me.”

“That’s not true,” Jazz said.

“How is it not,” Urbana asked.

“Because Tucker is a better person than that,” Jazz said, “Yes, it’s true that it’ll hurt him to know that you don’t like him the same way, but now that he knows your answer he can properly move on and you’ll both be stronger friends for it.”

“I don’t know. I just feel like I’ve lost my living singing buddy,” Urbana said.

“Once you fully calm down, I think you and Tucker should properly speak,” Jazz said, “You’re not going to believe anyone but him about your guy’s friendship for the future.”

Urbana didn’t say anything as she continued to hug Jazz to try and make herself feel better.

It took two days for Urbana to officially be completely calm enough to be able to talk to Tucker again. The two of them sat on the stairs leading to the front door.

“How was work,” Tucker asked.

“It was just work,” Urbana answered.

“…So. Do you still want to be friends?” Tucker asked.

“I feel like that’s something I should ask you,” Urbana said, “You’re the one who has a crush on me.”

“Yah, but out of the two of us, you’re the one surprisingly heartbroken about this situation,” Tucker said.

“Of course I’m heartbroken. No one wants to be your friend when they have romantic feelings for you,” Urbana said.

“That’s not true,” Tucker said.

Urbana gave him a skeptical look.

“Well. It’s not true for me at least,” Tucker said, “Look. I do like the idea of being romantic and couple-y with you, but you are also a cool good friend. I would be a fool to drop our friendship just because we couldn’t go to the romantic level of relationships.”

“I would like to stay friends with you too,” Urbana said, “but do you need some boundaries or something to help you get over your crush on me?”

“Nah, you can act how you want, like you did before you found out I had a crush on you,” Tucker said, “I mean, I do still have a little crush on you, but it started going away about three days ago.”

“Oh?”

“Yah, seeing my friend cry over losing me as a friend kind of did it in,” Tucker said, “but what about you? Do you need any boundaries to help you feel better?”

“I honestly don’t know,” Urbana said, “I thought every interaction with you was platonic and I genuinely don’t know when you were trying to be romantic towards me.”

“Me being romantic was me trying to have some alone time with you,” Tucker said.

“So, is this romantic right now,” Urbana asked.

“No.”

“Okay. Good,” Urbana said, “Then I guess I’m fine with it too. I don’t need any new boundaries.”

“Okay,” Tucker said as he stuck out his hand for her to shake, “Friends?”

“Friends,” Urbana said as she took his hand and shook it, “Do you want to help me translate that diary that I have?”

“Yes, that sounds like fun,” Tucker said as they both got up and went into the mansion.

# # #

Urbana had just finished bottle feeding Raven with Morticia almost done bottle feeding Red in the living room. Urbana stood up to walk around while she tried to get Raven to burp. She saw through the living room windows that Danny and Dani, in their ghost forms, were floating a couple of feet off the ground while sitting cross-legged, with Beetlejuice in his General Splattin persona, marching back and forth before them outside the ghost barrier.

“I’m going to go see what the two D’s are up to,” Urbana told Morticia.

“Okay Dear,” She said as she was still feeding Red.

As Urbana made her way over to the three of them, she finally managed to get Raven to burp.

“To not take energy that you do not want to take, you must first understand that being a ghost means that you are pure and unadulterated emotion,” General Splattin said, “A ghost does not have a physical body, the emotions that we feel from our past life is what feeds our ghostly selves. The stronger the emotion, the more solid the form and more strength a ghost has.”

“Then what does that mean for us,” Dani asked, “We are both.”

“To be alive is to be on the fast train,” General Splattin said, “To be alive is to be challenged by change constantly, for the dead, change comes slowly or not at all and the afterlife is at a snail’s pace. You two face a balancing act of energy speed.”

“Okay. So what do you suggest we do,” Danny asked.

“Urbana will you stand beside me,” General Splattin said.

Urbana did and Beetlejuice dissolved his General Splattin persona and turned back into his normal self, already bored with being a General.

“Hey, Girl,” Dani said.

“Sup,” Danny greeted.

“Alright, so here’s the thing,” Beetlejuice said, “When you take energy from someone or something, you are taking energy that you lack. You are taking an _emotional_ energy that you think that you don’t have.”

Beetlejuice then placed his hand on Urbana shoulder, and she felt that lazy boy streaming of energy flow in and out of her.

“Back when I was two hundred years dead, I thought I was apathetic and that I didn’t care about anyone or anything except for the thrill of scaring someone or destroying them. The emotional energy I always took from the people I haunted was their sympathy. Their emotional ability to care about other people and other things. So what I’m doing with Urbana, is that I’m giving her back the sympathy that I’m taking from her. I can be more energized than I would be by myself, but I’m also not hurting her in that process.”

Danny and Dani looked contemplative.

“Danny. You’ve actually touched Urbana. Do you remember what you were feeling when it happened?” Beetlejuice asked.

“I guess, after I touched her, I felt braver. Cockily so. So does that mean I don’t feel as brave as I actually think I do,” Danny asked out loud.

“It’s a start,” Beetlejuice said, “Now, for Dani.”

“I don’t haunt anyone though,” Dani said, “I don’t know what or who’s energy I take, I wasn’t really aware before that I could.”

“Urbana. Would you?” Beetlejuice asked.

Urbana handed him Raven then she stepped up to Dani.

“Stick out your pointer finger,” Urbana told her.

She did and then Urbana brushed her pointer finger against Dani’s. The energy that flowed out of her and into Dani was like touching an electric fence. It made Urbana feel breathless, like she just got done running a 400m dash. Dani however felt like she could fly around the world in one day.

Talking at the speed of sound Dani said, “Wow, what a beautiful day to be dead. I think I’m going to go see what Lily is doing, maybe go for a swim. I’ll beat up a ghost if I have to too.”

Beetlejuice then forced Dani to sit down.

“Okay, now think. What are you feeling?” Beetlejuice asked.

“I feel like I’m apart of the group. Like we’re together,” Dani said.

“You mean you don’t feel alone,” Danny asked her.

“Yah, that’s the word I couldn’t think of,” she said.

“So you think you lack the feeling of companionship,” Beetlejuice stated, “For both of you this is a good start.”

“Okay, what should we do then,” Danny asked.

“Well first she should go run out that energy,” Beetlejuice said as he let Dani go. As she flew off to do who knows what, Beetlejuice went up to Urbana and asked, “Are you okay?”

Urbana nodded and motioned to take back Raven. He handed her back.

“As for you. You need to really think about yourself and why you feel like you’re not as brave as you think you are,” Beetlejuice said, “Understanding why you think you lack something helps you better identify what you are taking from other people and objects. So go think about yourself. I’m done with today’s lessons.”

Beetlejuice then blipped out of existence.

“You know, when I asked him to help me learn to not take energy from you, I wasn’t expecting him to give us a lecture about emotional stability,” Danny said to Urbana.

She chuckled as she swayed her body back and forth to rock Raven then she asked, “Why’s that?”

“He just doesn’t give off, Emotionally Stable Vibes,” Danny said.

Urbana could only shrug.

“I’m going to go take a nap,” Urbana told him, “If you want to talk about your emotional stuff, you know I’m willing to listen.”

Then she left him alone to think.

# # #

It was twilight and Urbana, Sam, and Jazz were walking out of the movie theater, having just watched _Primal the Movie_. No one else was around.

“Thanks for watching that with me guys,” Urbana said, “I’m so happy I got to see that with you two.”

“I wasn’t expecting it to be so violent,” Jazz said.

“But that violence was drawn beautifully so,” Sam added.

As they were walking to Urbana’s car the Box Ghost appeared.

“I am the BooOOooX GhooOOoost! Prepare YOurself for your DooOOoom!”

“Hold on. I brought the thermos,” Jazz said as she was digging through her purse.

“Wait, no. Let me practice my moves I’ve been working on, on him. It’ll be like my baby step battle,” Urbana said.

“I’ve got to see this,” Sam said.

“Oh, alright. Just be careful,” Jazz said.

The Box Ghost had the advantage of being able to fly but Urbana managed to get him down to her level by climbing up the boxes that he summoned to try and capture her with. Then she gave him a grade A walloping by using only kicks. To finish him off, she brought down her foot on his head, making him go unconscious. Then Jazz easily sucked him up into the Fenton Thermos.

“How did my round kicks look,” Urbana asked, “Did it look like I followed through with them good enough?”

“It looked good to me, but I’m not Gomez,” Sam said.

Urbana just shrugged with a sigh. Then she said, “Now I just need a weapon that’ll help me deal with ghost’s ability to fly and long-range advantage.”

“What was that?” Jazz said.

“What,” the other two girls asked at once.

They were all silent for a second then they heard the unmistakable sound of someone talking a photo of them.

“I heard it from over there,” Jazz said as she pointed to the far side of the hteater from where Urbana’s car was. They all started speed walking over to where Jazz pointed at and suddenly, they heard someone starting to run away. The three of them easily managed to catch up and grab who was running away. It was Susie.

“What the fuck, Susie,” Urbana said.

“You know her,” Sam asked.

“Do I,” she said, exasperated.

“Give me that,” Jazz said as she wrestled a large digital camera out of her grasp.

Sam lifted her up by the collar of her shirt and growled, “Were you fucking taking photos of us.”

“Don’t let her fake sweet personality fool you,” Susie said, “She associates herself with monsters.”

“Yah, I know,” Urbana said, “You were one of them.”

“She’s thinks that she can talk to the dead, and she some how befriended a monster who sometimes looks like a cute hipster boy, but his true form is a giant black and white snake monster,” Susie said.

“Look,” Jazz said, “She’s been taking photos of Urbana since April and there are a lot of photos. A lot of the photos are of Urbana looking like she’s talking to herself.”

“You creep,” Sam said as she was about to punch Susie in the face.

Urbana held back Sam’s arm as Susie looked like she was bracing herself for the punch.

“Please, don’t,” Urbana told Sam.

“How are you so calm about having more bullshit like her on your plate,” Sam asked.

“I’m technically not. I’m just living through your guy’s reactions right now, but I don’t want you guys to get into trouble for it. Just drop her,” Urbana said.

Sam let go of her collar.

“Okay,” Jazz said, “but we’re taking this camera.”

“You can’t do that,” Susie said, “I’ll tell the police.”

“And what are you going to tell them exactly, Hmm?” Jazz asked, “That the person you were stalking finally caught you and took your camera away from you? Are you going to tell them that you think monsters and ghosts are most definitely real and that they should absolutely bother this random woman just because of your ramblings? Hmm?”

Susie glared at Jazz in silence.

“I didn’t think so,” Jazz said.

Jazz wrapped a protective arm around Urbana’s shoulders as they all walked away. Sam continued to eye Susie while flipping her off at the same time. They all got into Urbana’s car and she drove them away.

“How long have you known her,” Jazz asked as she examined each photo on the digital camera.

Without taking her eyes off the road Urbana explained her history of how Susie was her first friend that she made when she moved into her new home. Then when Susie’s grandpa died, who she loved a lot, at least Urbana remembers her saying how much she loved her grandpa, Urbana told Susie about her ghost sight ability and offered to help her talk to her grandpa again before he moved on. They were both ten at the time though, and of course she told everyone that she could see ghosts and she hyped it up even more to where eventually Susie helped convince some boys to push her down the stairs of their school.

“To be honest I’m not explaining in full detail,” Urbana said, “but when she was there, smiling at me being pushed down the stairs. That was when I knew she wasn’t my friend anymore. Granted, I suppose I shouldn’t have thought she was my friend when she told everyone I could see ghosts, but again. I was only ten. And I wasn’t good at making friends to begin with either. So yah.”

Jazz sighed. Seeing the sad complexity of the whole situation.

Sam said, “What a sucky ten year old. Makes me want to get Clockwork on the line so I can go back in time and punt her sorry ass across your old grade school.”

That made Urbana laugh.


	23. The Longest Feeling Month

It was June and Urbana was rocking Red in her arms as he slept while she was practicing the song _Halloween Halloween_ with Lurch who was playing on the grand piano. As she was singing, she saw a little man with a pointy red hat and beady little black eyes and sharp looking teeth, look into the room they were practicing in. Urbana new it was a gnome.

Lurch looked at her, wondering why she wasn’t singing. Then when he turned around he saw the gnome. He immediately stopped playing and got up to go squish the gnome. The gnome hissed then ran off.

“I’ll go tell Grandmama about the gnome,” Urbana told Lurch, “you go try and kill that thing.”

Running as gently as she could, not wanting to wake up Red, Urbana made it to the kitchen only to see Grandmama, Morticia, Maddie, Fester, and Jack all trying to either catch and/or kill the two dozen gnomes that were wreaking havoc in Grandmama’s kitchen.

“Awe,” Morticia said after she slammed a frying pan on top of a gnome, killing it, “Red looks so sweet sleeping in your arms, Dear.”

“Uh, we found a gnome upstairs,” Urbana said, then asked, “Did it come from down here.”

“Possibly,” Grandmama said as she caught a gnome in a jar. Wanting to use it for ingredients in her future potions, “But I’m sure there’s more. There’s always more.”

Gomez then came in through the outside door of the kitchen, holding Raven who was babbling and pulling at Gomez’s collar.

“Ah. I see we all know about our gnome problem,” he said. Then he looked at Red in Urbana’s arms and cooed, “He looks so peaceful.”

A gnome ran at Urbana and she kicked it so hard she accidentally kicked the gnome out the window. The sound of breaking glass startled Red awake, making him cry. The house didn’t bother to heal itself and left the gaping glass hole. Morticia then went up to Urbana and traded Red for the frying pan. She then started comforting Red and rocking him.

“Sorry about the window,” Urbana said as she started slamming the frying pan down on a nearby gnome, “I’ll pay for it.”

“Oh, it’s fine Dear,” Grandmama said as she captured another one in a jar, “I’ve been thinking about putting in a stain glass window there.”

“So how do we get rid of all of these gnomes,” Maddie asked as she blasted a gnome with a ray gun, killing it.

“We’re just going to have to either kill them and/or capture them all and then find the hole they managed to wriggle into and block it,” Grandmama said, capturing another gnome.

All day, every kid and adult, chased around the gnomes, either killing them or capturing them. Unfortunately, Urbana couldn’t stay for long as she had work. She wanted to stay but they assured her that they would be fine. Doubly unfortunate, Urbana had to go to work without any socks, since it seemed like all of them went missing.

When Urbana got back from work, it was 10pm, and she found everyone exhausted in the kitchen. Grandmama’s poor kitchen was still a mess from the day long scuffle, but she has yet to see another gnome in the house, so she assumed things went alright.

Jack was laying on his back on the kitchen floor. Morticia, Gomez, Grandmama, Maddie, and Jazz were sitting at the kitchen table. Fester, Pugsley, Sam, Wednesday, Tucker, and Lurch were sitting half hazard-ly on windowsills and counter tops. Dani and Danny were in their ghosts forms just idlily floating in the air above everyone else.

“Where’s Red and Raven,” Urbana asked Gomez and Morticia.

“In their crib,” Gomez said.

Morticia added, “We finally got them to go to sleep after all the gnome fighting.”

“I’ll make us some lavender tea,” Urbana said as she went over to the stove.

“Hot Chocolate for me,” Dani and Pugsley said.

“I think I need some wine instead,” Jazz stated. Maddie and Morticia agreed.

“I’ll just take some water,” Sam added.

Everyone else was game for that lavender tea. After making and pouring out their drinks, she passed them all out, then she sat down on the floor next to Jack with her own cup of tea. Everyone took a moment to drink their drinks.

“Have we figured out where they’re coming in from,” Urbana asked.

“No.” Danny said.

“Where _are_ these gnomes coming from,” Sam asked.

“Yah,” Jazz added, “I thought they only lived along the west coast of the U.S.”

“Well, that’s true for the gnomes that originate here, but these gnomes are from the British Isles. Lineage wise,” Grandmama said.

“So, like, the honeybee thing back when America was being colonized,” Tucker asked.

Grandmama nodded then said, “That’s right. Gnomes like these are a sign of trolls living nearby.”

“Trolls? In New Jersey?” Urbana said, sounding unbelieving, but she sighed then said, “But of course.”

“Should we worry about missing people then, ‘cause trolls eat people, right,” Maddie asked.

Grandmama took a sip of her drink then said, “Not all of them, Dear. I’d be more worried about missing pets, more than anything.”

Urbana didn’t say it, but she had seen a lot of missing pet posters around her workplace. She’s just never really given it any thought.

“Do you think the house will let us into the basement to look around for any cracks or holes,” Fester asked.

“I mean, we could just go down there now,” Dani said, referring to herself and Danny.

“That would be rude and invading to the house,” Gomez said.

“Since when have we had a basement?” Urbana asked.

“We’ve always have had a basement,” Pugsley said.

“The house once let me go into the basement when we were playing hide and seek,” Wednesday said.

“I still say that was cheating,” Pugsley said.

“Either way, we should all get some sleep,” Jazz said as she finished off her wine, “We can all continue this in the morning.”

“Kids, can I get your help,” Jack asked from the floor.

Danny and Dani pushed him up from behind, Urbana and Jazz held his left hand to pull, and Pugsley and Wednesday held his right hand to pull. With exaggerated effort, they helped Jack back on his feet.

“Thanks kids,” Jack said.

The next day everyone, except for Urbana who just wanted to watch, took turns trying to convince the house to let them down into the basement, talking to a patch of dirt behind the mansion. They did their best to convince the house to let them down; like Grandmama placing a plate of cookies on the mound of dirt, Maddie and Morticia reenacting a play they did in their childhood, Fester tried to flirt with the pile of dirt, Gomez and Jack just sang at it together, and everyone else just asked the mansion to open its basement for them politely. Yet, the pile of dirt did nothing.

“Okay, you’re up Urbana,” Tucker said.

“No, thank you. I’m good,” She said.

“But you’re the only one who hasn’t tried yet,” Dani said.

“I know. I don’t like the idea of going into a creepy basement,” Urbana said.

“It’s not creepy,” Wednesday said.

“You and your family have a different definition for “creepy”,” she said.

“You don’t want to have to keep buying new socks every time these gnomes get into the house, now do ya,” Sam asked.

Groaning, Urbana said, “Fine.” Then she reluctantly walked up to the dirt pile. She lightly kicked the pile of dirt and said, “Will you please open up so we can get rid of the pests.”

The pile of dirt started to rumble and, in its place, rose an old wooden cellar doorway.

“You mother fucker,” Urbana told it.

Danny couldn’t help but laugh and he said, “I’ll go down with you if you want.”

The wooden cellar doorways started to sink back into the dirt again.

“Ah! Never mind, never mind,” Danny said.

The wooden cellar doorways stopped sinking.

Grandmama handed Urbana some sticky traps and a small bucket of instant drying concrete with a scrapper to use it with.

“Have fun,” Pugsley said.

Grumbling the whole time, Urbana opened the cellar doors and walked down the stairs into the deep black hole that was the basement. As she planted a foot down off of the final step the cellar doors above slammed shut and ingulfed her in darkness.

Urbana screamed reactively, then she yelled, “You mother fucker!”

In the dark she could hear creaking and groaning, that sounded distinctively like laughter.

“Oh, yah. You’re a real comedian,” Urbana yelled.

Urbana got out her phone and turned on its built-in flashlight and looked around. There was a lot of bare bone wooden support beams, dust and cobwebs, and bones scattered across the concrete floor and not all of them looked like they were human bones either. The basement wasn’t so big that her light couldn’t reach the other side of the area and she saw a large carved in hole that looked big enough for her to walk into comfortably that looked like it had been there for forever.

Urbana sighed, then said to herself, “If I didn’t think this mansion was so nice, I would start thinking I was in a horror movie. Too bad I don’t know a lot of horror clichés. I’ve only ever watched the Exorcist once.”

Humming to herself to steel her nerves, Urbana followed the walls of the basement to look for smaller cracks to fill up with the quick dry cement. Finally, she placed the sticky traps in front of the giant hole that, when she looked into it, looked like it led down into a cave system.

“Hey, Sweetheart,” a deep man’s voice said behind her.

Urbana jumped with a scream and she turned around kicking.

“Hey, watch it,” Salem said as he barely dodged her kick. His little black cat tail twitched, agitated.

“Salem,” Urbana said with relief as she shined her phone light on him, then she asked, annoyed, “What are you doing here?”

“These are good hunting grounds for mice,” Salem said as he walked up to her and rubbed his head against her ankles.

“Sabrina’s not looking for you or anything is she,” Urbana asked him, suspicious.

“Maybe,” he said.

She sighed, then said, “Welp. I’m done down here. I hope this stops the gnomes from getting in.”

She started walking away when Salem asked, “Don’t you want to see what’s inside the giant hole?”

In response, Urbana ran toward and up the stairs as fast as she could. She slammed open the doors then banged them shut behind her. The cellar doors sank back into the dirt and no one was around, having left to go do their own things.

Sighing with relief she said to herself, “No. I do not.”

Then she went to find Gomez to do her training.

# # #

Urbana was helping Jazz with Pugsley’s birthday party again, and Urbana was tasked with finding the newly turned thirteen-year-old boy so he can blow out his candles and everyone can eat cake. She was wondering where he was. It’s not like him to wander off and miss out on the fun. When Urbana found him, he was crouched down and looking around a corner. Faintly, she could hear two boys talking to each other from the hallway Pugsley was looking around into.

“Do you think this is her bedroom,” boy one asked.

“It looks just like her locker at school,” boy two said, “It has to be.”

Pugsley then sprung out of hiding, so Urbana took his hiding spot as she listened in.

“Stay away from my sister’s room,” Pugsley said.

Boy one laughed then asked, “Why? We’re not doing anything wrong.”

“No. But I know you’re going to do something,” Pugsley said, “I didn’t invite the entire school here just so they could be mean to Wednesday.”

“And why should we be nice to her,” boy two asked, “When she’s just a heartless bitch.”

“She’s not heartless, she’s introverted. There’s a difference,” Pugsley said, “Now, if you want to still have fun at my party, get away from my sister’s room.”

“Or what,” boy one asked as Urbana heard him start to open Wednesday’s bedroom door.

Urbana then stepped out of hiding and said, “Oh, there’s no, “Or what”, any more you two.”

The two fourteen-year-old looking boys backed away from the still open door as Urbana stomped over to them, closed Wednesday’s bedroom door, then grabbed each boy by their ears.

“You two are coming with me, cause I’m taking you home,” Urbana told them.

Before passing Pugsley, she gave him a kiss on his forehead and told him it was time for him to blow out his birthday cake.

“Oh, okay. Thanks, Urbana,” Pugsley said before running off.

The two boys tried to protest but Urbana quickly shut them up with an angry glare. She didn’t speak to either boys as she led them down and out of the mansion, when she told Jazz where she was going, and as she was driving the boy’s home. Then she talked to their parents about their behavior and hoped that they’ll be properly reprimanded by their parents. As Urbana was driving back to the mansion, she saw Wednesday and Lydia walking down the street. She decided to find a place to park and got their attention.

“Oh, hello,” Lydia greeted.

“Is the party over,” Wednesday asked.

“As far as I know, no. Why don’t you come back with me?” Urbana asked.

“Cause I don’t like Pugsley inviting the entire school,” Wednesday said, “Besides. I’m sure he’s having fun without me.”

“Maybe,” Lydia said, “But he’ll probably have even more fun with you there.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” Urbana said.

Wednesday looked apprehensive despite her straight face as she thought about it. Lydia softly took one of her hands in both of hers and slowly raised it to her face to kiss the top of Wednesday’s hand and then she smiled gently at her.

Wednesday sighed then said, “No. I’m definitely not going. We hang out by ourselves all the time. Let him have his school friends for himself.”

Urbana just shrugged then said, “Okay,” then to Lydia she said, “You and I should hang out sometime while I still _have_ the time. I’d love to work on another art project with you.”

“Sounds fun,” Lydia said.

Urbana then drove back to the mansion. When she got there, she saw that all of the kids were gone. She got out of her car and went up to Jazz.

“Jazz? Where are all of the kids,” Urbana asked her, “I didn’t think I was gone _that_ long.”

“They all went home,” she explained while picking up the party mess, “Pugsley wasn’t enjoying himself anymore. After he blew out his birthday cake he went to his room and hasn’t come out since you left.”

“Are we leaving him alone for now or is someone trying to talk with him,” Urbana asked.

“I’m leaving him alone for now, but I told Uncle Gomez about it and I’m sure he’s trying to talk to him,” Jazz said.

“Then I’ll help you clean up first before I go check on him myself,” Urbana said as she started picking up discarded plates and streamers.

After cleaning up, Jazz and Urbana went upstairs to Pugsley’s room. Jazz then knocked on his bedroom door.

Through the closed door, Pugsley said, “Go away, Dad. I still don’t feel like talking.”

“It’s me and Urbana,” Jazz said.

“Okay. I still don’t want to talk to you two either,” Pugsley said.

“Well, who _do_ you want to talk to,” Urbana asked.

There was a long pause then he said, “I want to talk to my sister.”

“Okay, well, she’s going to be out for a little while longer,” Urbana told him.

“Okay,” Pugsley said.

“Do you want me to bring you some juice or a slice of birthday cake or something,” Jazz asked.

“A pack of sunny-d would be nice,” Pugsley said.

“I’ll be back then,” Jazz said.

Then the two of them went back downstairs to let him be.

An hour later, Wednesday was back home.

“Hey, so Pugsley is in his room, sulking, and he wants to talk to you,” Urbana told her after greeting her.

“What happened,” Wednesday asked.

Urbana just shrugged then said, “You’ll just have to ask him.”

Once Wednesday had made it up to the first floor on her way to her brother’s room, Urbana started to follow her so she could listen in on their conversation. However, she wasn’t the only one who thought of this. She saw Jazz, Danny, Dani, Sam, and Tucker, also sneakily creeping in to listen to their conversation.

Wednesday knocked on Pugsley’s bedroom door and said, “It’s me. Can I come in?”

“Yah,” Pugsley said through the door.

Once Wednesday closed the door behind her, everyone converged on the door to better listen in.

“What’s got you in a bad mood? Last time you were like this someone made fun of your love of spiders and insects in general. Did someone do that to you again? Should I punch them,” Wednesday asked.

“No. A while ago, I saw Dan and Todd, I don’t know if you know them—”

“—I do.”

“Well, they were trying to sneak into your room,” Pugsley said, “And I tried to get them to stop. Cause, I thought we were friends and that they would if I caught them red handed, but it took Urbana for them to stop,”

“Is that what’s upsetting you,” Wednesday asked.

“It’s not the only thing,” Pugsley said, “When I tried to tell the other kids about the horrible thing that Dan and Todd tried to do, they didn’t care, and some of them even agreed with Todd and Dan about going into your room and calling you names.”

Jazz looked to Urbana and mouthed, “I had no idea.”

There was silence for a moment then Wednesday said, “Are you just now realizing how much the kids at school don’t like me.”

“Lydia, Bertha, and Prudence like you, and I like you,” Pugsley said, “I just… I don’t know. I didn’t think everyone being mean to you was a real thing because I think you’re such a likeable person.”

“Well, thank you for thinking that, but that’s not what our peers think,” Wednesday said, “And unless they say something to my face or if they try to get physical with me, there’s nothing much else I or anyone else can do about it.”

“I don’t want to be friends with my friends anymore if they don’t like you,” Pugsley announced.

“You really don’t have to do that,” Wednesday reassured him, “You’re built for interacting with people, like Dad is, you can’t handle the isolation of having only a few good friends. You like big groups and big parties and large amounts of people around you.”

“Yah, but how do I tell people not to be mean to you then,” Pugsley asked.

“Just tell them,” Wednesday said, “If one of your “friends” say something about me, or you see someone that is your friend being mean to me, then tell them about your concerns and if they still insist of being mean, then tell them you don’t want to be friends with them anymore. Plus, I think you’re a very likeable person too. You’ll be able to make as many friends as you want.”

“Wednesday, I’m sorry for not believing you about your horrors of school, and I’m sorry I wasn’t as supportive of you as I should have been,” Pugsley said.

“Thank you,” Wednesday said, “I’m sorry you had to find out about our peers this way.”

After a moment the bedroom doorknob started to turn, and everyone ran off in different directions to avoid being caught for listening in.

# # #

Tucker was going over a freshly translated part of the diary with Urbana in the living room. She was trying to make a “Spirit Ball”, as what the diary said it was called. What they managed to translate about the “Spirit Ball” is that she is capable of creating a ball of energy from within herself and is able to take it out and then give it to a ghost or none physical undead creature to ground them emotionally but also give them energy to get them out of whatever situation that they are in.

“Okay, so you’re focused on your core,” Tucker asked.

Urbana nodded as she had her eyes closed and while standing in front of him.

“And you’re focused on the type of emotion the Spirit Ball will contain,” Tucker asked.

Again, she nodded.

“Now Bubbles says that, that means you have it created inside you already, but the hard part is coaxing it out of you,” Tucker said, “I really wish he told us why it was like that, but anyways, now we just have to use a grounding motion for you to use.”

Urbana stopped focusing to ask, “Do you got any ideas about that?”

“No. Based on what we’ve translated so far, he makes it seem like you can use any kind of grounding motion,” Tucker said as he scanned what they translated so far again.

“Okay. Then I’m going to just do some random moves just to see what feels best,” Urbana said, but they weren’t random moves, they were actually a bunch of poses that she’s copied before from the different anime shows that she loves. When she started doing hand signs from Naruto, Tucker piped up.

“Oh, hey. I’ve watched Naruto too,” he said.

Feeling embarrassed, she said, “Oh. Cool…”

Finally she decided to do a breathing exercise movement, where her hands are cupped upwards, kind of flat, and when she breaths in she brings her hands in towards her chest then when she breaths out she pushes her hands outward, all the while keeping her hands in the same position.

“Okay. I like that movement the most,” Urbana said.

“Cool,” Tucker said, then asked, “What emotion are you going to focus on the most?”

“I guess happiness,” Urbana lied. What she was really going to focus on was her feeling of loneliness that she’s been feeling at a higher intensity more than she usually has been. She didn’t say that to him cause she didn’t want his sympathy, or concern, or anything else at the moment. She just has that feeling of loneliness that comes and goes like the tide of an ocean.

Urbana closed her eyes and focused on the center of her chest and she focused on her feeling of loneliness and she did the breathing exercise motion, all at the same time. After the fifth time she breathed out, she felt something tug at the center of her being and after the tenth time she breathed out she felt, that something, pop out of her.

“Woah,” Tucker said.

Urbana opened her eyes and saw a golf ball sized ball of golden light floating above her hands.

“Quick. See if it shows up on a normal camera,” Urbana told him.

Tucker got out his phone and looked at the Spirit Ball with his phone camera. Then he said, “It’s not showing up.”

“Let’s go find Maddie and Jack then,” Urbana said, excited.

Urbana walked at a brisk pace not wanting to somehow blow out the light or lose it while Tucker ran ahead with the diary in hand. The two of them found Jack and Maddie laying in lawn chairs on the front lawn, relaxing with each other. Tucker told them what they had, and the two adults were immediately intrigued.

“This is so fascinating,” Maddie said as she lowered her red lensed goggles over her eyes to examine the Spirit Ball.

“I’ll get the Fenton Camera,” Jack said as he ran for the RV.

Jack then came back out of the RV holding a high-tech looking polaroid camera. He propped it up to his eye level and told Urbana to smile. She did, while presenting the little ball of light. With a flash the picture printed instantly. It took a minute for it to show up, but eventually, it showed Urbana holding the Spirit Ball.

“How do you get your photos to show ghost stuff,” Urbana asked them.

“We mix a diluted amount of ectoplasm into photo solutions,” Jack answered.

“That was my idea,” Tucker said proudly.

“Now, will it disappear as soon as you give it up or will it sustain itself,” Maddie asked.

“I don’t know,” Urbana said.

“Hold on,” Maddie said, “Let me get my notes.” Maddie then pulled out a pen and a note pad from out of one of the many pockets she has on her blue jumpsuit. When she was ready, Urbana gently blew on the ball of light and it left her hands. It didn’t go far, and it was still floating at the same height as her hands where when she was holding it.

Jack placed a tentative hand around the golden golf ball of light and said, “It feels a bit hotter than normal human temperature. By my glove’s temperature readings, 100F.”

Maddie wrote that down.

Jack then poked it and it moved with his little push, “A normal human is capable of physically interacting with it.”

Maddie wrote that down. Then she asked Urbana, “What exactly are these balls of light for?”

Urbana and Tucker explained what it’s supposed to do for ghosts.

“I’ll go look for Danny or Dani,” Jack said.

“No. I’ll go,” Urbana said, “Let’s see if it stays the same no matter how far away I am.”

“Oh, good thinking,” Jack said.

Urbana then ran off looking for Dani or Danny. Eventually she found Danny relaxing by the lake talking with Lily on the dock.

After Urbana told Danny about what was going on, the two of them apologized to Lily for interrupting the conversation. She didn’t like it, but she could live with it knowing Danny would be back to finish their conversation. There was a splash of water as the two of the ran back to the front lawn.

As they drew closer Maddie asked where Urbana ran to and when she told her, Maddie said, “It didn’t dissipate at all. I think your little Spirit Ball is self-sustaining.”

“Spirit Ball,” Danny repeated, questioningly.

Tucker greeted him with a high-five.

“Danny, baby, what do you feel when you see this,” Maddie ask her son.

“I have the urge to eat it,” Danny replied without hesitation as he stared at the golden golf ball of light. There was a long pause then he asked, “Is that weird?”

“We don’t know,” Jack answered, “Most likely not. It’s probably all about perspective at this point.”

“Follow your ghostly instincts Danny,” Maddie encouraged, “It’s supposed to help ghosts, so it shouldn’t hurt you.”

Danny looked to Urbana, who just shrugged at him, so he nonchalantly grabbed it and swallowed it in one go. There was a moment or two of no reaction, then he transformed into his ghostly form from the power he felt course through his system, but there was an immense heaviness in his heart, like he grew up his whole life looking at the world through a sound proof glass window and that no one could hear his cries. He couldn’t help but let out a ghostly wail that shattered all of the glass windows in everyone’s cars and the house’s windows, but unlike the cars, the house easily repaired its windows after Danny finished wailing.

Danny, still in his ghost form, said, “I feel so alone.”

Tucker turned to Urbana and said, “I thought you were thinking happy thoughts.”

Jack and Maddie set aside their notes and tools and held Danny in a group hug.

Urbana just looked away from Tucker, she really didn’t think her loneliness was that bad.

“Well,” Tucker asked, sounding upset.

“I didn’t know it was going to turn out like this,” Urbana said.

“More like you didn’t think,” Tucker said, worried about his best friend.

“No. Tucker,” Danny whined.

Urbana and Tucker turned to Danny who wasn’t crying but had an anguished look on his face. Jack and Maddie stopped hugging him so he could properly talk to his friends.

“Don’t get mad at her,” Danny said, then he said to Urbana, “Is this how you feel?”

“I mean, usually I feel like that when I’m about to go to sleep. I rarely feel like that during the day,” Urbana admitted.

“Let me hug you,” Danny said.

Tucker got in between them and said, “Whoa man, don’t forget who you’re talking to.”

A pained look still on his face, Danny then hugged, Tucker really hard.

Tucker patted his back and said, “I love you too man.”

Then Danny transformed back into his living self, and immediately backed off from Tucker.

“I’m so sorry,” Danny said.

“I’m sorry too,” Urbana said.

“Eh, I’m over it now,” Danny said, sounding genuine.

Stating it out loud to herself, Maddie said, “Energy duration, one minute and thirty seconds.” Then she wrote it down in her notes. Then she added, “Emotional side effects include whatever feelings the producer puts into the energy. Current emotional feeling, Loneliness, increased Danny’s ghostly wail ability.”

“I wonder what other energizing abilities your emotions can have on a ghost,” Jack pondered.

“How do you feel by the way,” Tucker asked Urbana, “He literally ate your energy. Do you feel tired or feint?”

“No. I feel completely fine,” she said.

“Well in that technical since, you are,” Danny said, “But I know you still feel lonely.”

Urbana then grabbed the diary from Tucker then ran off saying, “I’m done with the testing today.”

# # #

Urbana was at the auto mechanics in town, getting all of her windows replaced on her car. As she was waiting, she got a phone call from Steven.

“Yo, good to hear from you Steven. How’ve you been?” Urbana asked.

“I’m doing really good actually,” Steven said, “I’m settled and I’m wondering when you can come over to Beach City?”

“I’ll have a day off in a few days, but I want to know, are you wanting this to be a one on one friend excursion thing, or can I invite my friends with me too,” Urbana asked him and before he could answer, she said, “I also want you to know that I won’t mind having just a one on one friendship time with you if that’s what you decide. I just think it would be cool if I could introduce you to my friends and have you befriended them.”

“I would love to meet your friends… As long as I get to have some alone time with you and Connie,” Steven said, almost sounding reluctant to say it.

“Of course,” Urbana said, “I can’t wait to meet Connie. You always make her sound so wonderful.”

“She really is,” Steven said with a romantic sigh. Then he said, “Text me when you’ll be able to come over.”

“Okay,” Urbana said, “I’ll see you in a couple of days.” Then she hung up the phone.

# # #

Urbana found Gomez reading Grimm’s Fairytales in the tearoom to Red and Raven with Morticia holding Red, Wednesday sitting sideways in one of the chairs, and Pugsley holding Raven. Gomez was reading Snow White’s story and he was reading the part of how the evil godmother just found out that Snow White survived her murder attempt, and was getting close to the part where she was going to be forced to dance in hot iron shoes until she died.

Urbana stayed to listen to the story. Then once he finished Urbana piped up.

“Sorry to interrupt,” Urbana said.

“No need to be sorry, Dear,” Morticia said as she rocked Red.

“Do you need something,” Gomez asked.

“I’ve been thinking, and I’m wondering if you can train me in some long range weapons, since I know how to fence good, and I’m being trained physically for close combat with all the kicking and troll strength training,” Urbana asked.

Gomez sniffled like he was holding back tears and Urbana looked at the man in surprise.

“I’m so happy you’ve come to me for that,” Gomez said, looking nostalgic, “It’s like when Pugsley and Wednesday asked me to teach them how to sword fight and throw knives.”

“Daaaad,” Pugsley and Wednesday groaned.

Gomez got up and then handed Wednesday the book, “Here you go Darling. Continue reading if you all want. I’m going to show Urbana my weapons room.”

Gomez then dragged her to the library and pulled a book that had the title _War_ on it. He pulled it halfway out and the sound of a lever clicked, and a bookshelf swung open like a door to reveal a large room full of accent looking weapons, and a few of them were even ventage guns. Urbana looking around trying to recognize what she could. She saw nunchakus, and a really large pair of nunchakus that had a wooden center instead of a chain linking the two ends, and she saw various types of katanas, and she saw some old western looking revolvers, and civil war period rifles, and mid-evil flails. There were a lot of weapons.

“Do you know how to use all of them,” Urbana asked him.

“What kind of weapons collector would I be if I didn’t,” Gomez said as he admired his horde, then he turned around and said, “Now. I know I’ve pushed fencing on to you. I’m sorry about that. I just wanted to teach someone my most favorite sword techniques, but now you have your own interests in learning how to fight so I want you to look around and pick however many weapons you want to learn.”

Urbana smiled at his childish glee and she looked around the room. She saw a long rope with a dagger chained to one end of it, she picked that up, then she went over to the super large nunchakus and picked it up by its middle piece and she was done.

“Ah, the sanjiegun and the shéng biāo,” Gomez said, “Excellent choice. These weapons are called flexible weapons in Chinese martial arts.”

Gomez took the sanjiegun, giant nunchaku, out of Urbana’s hands and then measured them against the length of her arms. He was making, a-very-good, sounds and he was asking her if the grip felt alright, like if it felt too big for her to hold. She said no, and he was happy with that. Then Gomez showed Urbana a variety of colorful flags and asked her to pick two of her favorites. She picked blue and yellow. He then took the dagger end of the shéng biāo and attached the two flags to the chain holding the dagger end to the long rope.

Then with a giddy squee, Gomez said, “Now let me show you how a professional wields these.”

Gomez dragged her out of his weapons room then took her outside to the front yard. First, he showed her how the shéng biāo was used. The rope was anchored to his non-dominant hand and he was using his dominant hand to spin the rope into various circles around his feet, his knees, then his elbows, and finally his neck. Then he showed her how he could kick the dagger outwards quickly and then just as quickly bring it back towards himself, without hitting himself with it. It was all very dizzying and amazing.

Then Gomez showed her how the sanjiegun was used. Urbana couldn’t help but smile, because it really did look like he was using one big nunchaku, but then he started spinning it like it was one big stick instead of three long separate parts and then how he went back to using the two opposite ends was impressive to see. Both techniques used a lot of spinning and hand-eye-coordination, and they were beautiful to watch. It made Urbana fired up to truly learn the weapons that she picked.

When he was done, Urban stood up and took the sanjiegun out of his grasp and started to do what she saw him do. Specifically, she was trying to make it look like she was spinning one big stick like he did, but instead she accidentally whacked herself in the face with it.

Gomez laughed then said, “That’s a good start. When I first started using the sanjiegun, I immediately hit myself in the face with it, but you managed to last a good thirty seconds before you hit yourself.”

“I can’t wait to master these things,” Urbana said as she tried again, with Gomez guiding her hands this time.

# # #

Lydia and Urbana were working on a short film together in Urbana’s messy room. Urbana was drawing the life cycle of a frog while Lydia was taking a picture of her work every other second. After about an hour of this, Urbana suggested taking a break, since Gizmo was nibbling at her ankle wanting her to go get him some food.

With Gizmo riding on Urbana’s shoulder, the two of them walked down to the kitchen to grab Gizmo his food and to grab themselves something to drink.

As they were relaxing and taking their break, Lydia looked fidgety.

“Something wrong,” Urbana asked her.

“Oh, nothing’s wrong, per say,” Lydia said into her water.

“But?”

“I don’t know, I feel bad for saying anything,” Lydia said.

“Well, will you feel worst if you don’t say anything,” Urbana asked.

“I think so…”

“Alright, well, take your time then,” Urbana said, “I don’t have work for another three hours.”

Urbana then sipped her green tea and Lydia blurted out, “I miss Beetlejuice.”

“But he lives with you,” Urbana said.

“I know… But we don’t hang out as much as we used to,” Lydia said, “I know he’s sticking around you because of your bounty, but there’s still this little part of me that’s telling me that you’re stealing my best friend away from me.”

“I’m sorry I’ve made you feel that way,” Urbana told her, “What do you miss about him.”

“I miss him taking me to the Netherworld and having picnics in the black forest while eating his famous smack-aroni and cheese salad. I miss watching “B” movie horror movies with him. I just miss having some quality time with my best friend,” Lydia said, “And I know I’m being silly, but sometimes I can’t help but think that now that he has you back in his life, that he doesn’t want to be my friend anymore.”

“Have you talked about this with Adam and Barbara or your Mom and Dad?” Urbana asked her.

“I haven’t really tried to talk to anyone about this, you know, since it’s about you, I thought I should say it to you,” Lydia said.

“Well, you should have, because I’m sure they would say what I’m about to tell you,” Urbana said, then she took a sip of her green tea, then continued, “Just tell Beetlejuice that you miss him. I know he’ll make time for you if you just ask.”

“I know, but what about you,” Lydia asked.

“Don’t worry about me,” Urbana said, “If it’s a horrible emergency you know I’ll call him. And about that whole, now-that-he-has-me-he-won’t-want-you, thing why do you think that?”

“Well, you two have the strangest of conversations,” Lydia said, “and I can’t keep up or even understand either of you when you two have the ball rolling. It kind of makes me feel bad that I can’t have a conversation with Beetlejuice like you can.”

“Well, yah. Of course, you can’t have a conversation with Beetlejuice like me, you’re not me. You’re you. You both love to talk about the macabre, gory horror movies, and talking about sad creepy things in general. I don’t generally talk about that stuff, heck, the comic I’m writing has the undead in it but it’s not even slightly spooky or horrifying. It’s just wacky. Beetlejuice is a complex figure as all people are. If he feels the need to be goofier and talk about what would happen if the human male genitalia was capable of being peeled like a banana then he’ll come to me because I’m going to think seriously on that subject. If he feels the need to indulge in the horrific part of himself and he feels like talking about what it would be like to see a human pop like a water balloon, I’m sure he’ll go to you for that conversation,” Urbana said, “You and I complete different friendship roles, and that’s okay.”

Lydia was silent for a moment then said, “I guess, I never really thought of it that way. Beetlejuice has been my one and only friend for so long… I’m not use to the idea of sharing him.”

Urbana nodded at her comment. Knowing where Lydia is coming from.

“Thanks for listening to me,” Lydia said, “I should have talked to you sooner.”

“Hey, us ghost gals have to stick together,” Urbana said, “No one but us know what it’s like to always see ghosts. I’ll always have your back.”

“Thanks,” Lydia said, “And I’ll have yours.”

When Gizmo finished eating, the two girls went back upstairs to work on their art project together.

# # #

Jazz was driving the RV, with Pugsley, Wednesday, Tucker, Dani, Sam, and Danny sitting in the back while Urbana got to sit in the front passenger seat. The eight of them were on their way to Beach City to hang out with Steven and his family.

In the back, Wednesday was explaining to Sam and Tucker why Lydia wasn’t coming, because she booked her schedule to hang out with Beetlejuice in the Netherworld. Over the chatter in the RV, Urbana was listening to the news radio because it was talking about gang members called the Huntsclan and the Foot Clan, apparently two notorious gangs who have taken over half of New York, have started a turf war with each other. Urbana was going to listen to more of the news but when it took a commercial break, Pugsley plugged in the ox-cord and started playing music from his phone.

“Hey, we were listening to that,” Jazz said.

“We don’t need that kind of negativity in our lives,” Pugsley said as he played a random pop song.

Jazz found a parking spot in front of a donut shop called Big Donut and they all got out and followed Urbana to the beach since she was the one being texted by Steven about where his house is. The eight of them turned the corner around a cliff side and saw a giant statue of a women, with multiple arms, sitting in a meditative state and in the giant statues lap was a good-looking wooden house that was two story’s tall but it was in the middle of having a third story being built onto it, and there was a crystal ball looking greenhouse.

Urbana could see Steven standing on his front porch and she yelled a greeting at him. Steven jumped impossibly high in the air, then floated gently down in front of them a few feet away. Pugsley, Wednesday, and Urbana weren’t surprised by that as the three of them ran up to Steven to give him a hug. Tucker, Sam, Dani, Jazz, and Danny were thrown through a loop at the sight of the “impossible” feat Steven just performed.

Steven had Urbana in a bear hug and was spinning her around said, “I missed you so much!”

“I missed you too, dude,” Urbana told him, “I can’t wait to introduce you to my friends and family.”

“Same,” Steven said as he put down Urbana. Then he lifted Pugsley and Wednesday up onto his shoulders then he turned to the lagging five and told them, “Come on. Everyone else is waiting for us inside.”

As they all walked back over to his house, Steven and Urbana were talking about the cartoon _Crying Breakfast Friends_ since Urbana was wearing a shirt with the old cartoon on it.

Once they were on the front porch, Steven sat down Wednesday and Pugsley and then opened the screen door for everyone to walk in. When Urbana and her friends entered his home, they were met with a large variety of people with the only other male being what Urbana assumed was Steven’s father.

The man was horseshoe bald, with the salt and pepper brown hair that was coming out of his head, long enough to reach the middle of his back. He was extremely tan, wearing a white tank top, and jean shorts and sandals that look like the same brand as Steven’s sandals. His name was Greg, and he was Steven’s father.

There was a tall blue lady wearing black and blue clothes accented with gold, and beside her was a short green lady with triangle shaped hair, wearing green clothes with a star on her chest and knees. The blue lady was Lapis, and the green lady was Peridot.

There was a tall beefy woman with rainbow dreadlocks and gray-purple skin, wearing dark pink overalls and beside her was a pale skinny woman with light pink hair, wearing a light blue jacket with a matching tank top, high rise jeans, and ballet shoes. The buff lady was Bismuth, and the skinny lady was Pearl, and they were wearing matching wedding rings.

There was a stout, purple woman with long violet hair wearing a black tank top and lavender shorts. Her name’s Amethyst.

There was a tall red-ish purple woman with a square afro, wearing a golden spikey vizor, and a body fitted body suit with prominent shoulder pads, on her hands were a bronze wedding ring on her left hand and a silver wedding ring on her right hand. Her name’s Garnet.

Finally, the last woman had dark black hair, light brown skin, and was wearing a flowery ruffled tankini and jean shorts, and she looked well-toned like she works out regularly. Her name’s Connie.

While everyone started introducing themselves to each other, Urbana went up to shake Connie’s hand and said, “It’s nice to finally meet you. Steven’s told me a lot about you. Congratulations on graduating with your bachelors and moving on to your masters.”

“Thank you. He’s told me about you too,” Connie said, then she leaned in and asked, “Is it true that you can see the dead.”

Urbana sighed then said, “If you don’t believe him, you can believe what you want. I don’t feel like confirming or denying you.”

“O-oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” Connie said as they stopped shaking hands.

Urbana shook her head to signal to her that she shouldn’t worry. Then she got out her phone and asked, “If you don’t mind. You have the most beautiful eyes. Can I take a picture of them so I can use them as a reference for when I want to draw a character with ethereal beauty?”

“I would love to,” Connie said.

Urbana took a couple of quick pictures. When she finished, Lapis walked up to her.

“I heard someone say something about drawing,” Lapis asked.

Connie pointed at Urbana and Urbana said, “Yah that was me. Fellow artist?”

“I’m a meep-morpist,” Lapis said proudly.

Urbana snorted, then said, “I love it. What do you meep-morp?”

“I do moving sculptures and abstract sculptures, and I like to water paint and draw,” Lapis said, “I like creating the emotions I feel in the moment. What about you?”

“I take nature photos and I water paint and draw,” Urbana told her, “I enjoy coming up with stories and creating comics for people to read and have fun with and sometimes I illustrate visual gags.”

“Visual gags?”

“Yah, like drawing a humanoid blow fly dressed like a stereotypical hoe,” Urbana said.

Lapis shrugged and said, “I don’t get it.”  
“That’s okay,” Urbana said, “You’re not my intended audience. I wish I brought my sketch book with me to show you.”

“Do you post your comic anywhere,” Connie asked.

Urbana gave Connie a link to her comic sight then she left them to talk to Greg and Garnet.

“Hello,” Urbana said.

“Hey, Kiddo,” Greg said.

“Nice to meet you,” Garnet said. Urbana shook Garnet’s hand and Garnet lowered her visor to reveal her third eye to Urbana and said, “Don’t talk to Jasper. It won’t be pretty if you do.”

“Well now I _will_ talk to whoever this Jasper character is,” Urbana said, “But I won’t actively look for her.”

Garnet shrugged then pushed her visor back over her eyes and let go of Urbana’s hand.

“It’s nice to meet one of my son’s friends,” Greg said, “He’s always told us about how beautiful a view is or how delicious some food has been or how cute a baby is, but you and the family that you live with are one of the few people he’s told us extensively about.”

“Yah,” Urbana said, “I like him too. I honestly hope your son and my best friend, and his cousin can become good friends.”

“Oh, yah?” Greg said, then asked, “Why’s that?”

“Well, Danny and Dani, and Steven are all half of something else,” Urbana said, “It’ll be good for them to bond over how their still human, but slightly to the left.”

“That’s a nice thing to want to hope for,” Greg said.

Urbana left that conversation and went up to the buff lady and the skinny lady.

“Oh, hello, you must be Urbana,” Pearl said, “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you and your friends.”

Shaking Pearl’s hand, Urbana said, “Nice to meet you too. I heard that you’re quite the sword fighter.”

Taking her hand back, Pearl said, “Yes, I am. I also know how to use a spear.”

“Cool. I’ve been learning fencing for almost two years now, and I’m now learning how to use the sanjiegun and the shéng biāo… I hope I pronounced those correctly,” Urbana said.

“What exactly are those weapons and how are they used,” Bismuth asked.

Urbana got on her phone and showed them a video, from the Internet, of how a master uses each weapon.

“That’s amazing,” Bismuth said, “Who’s teaching you?”

Urbana said, “Gomez, my landlord.”

“Well, we would just _love_ to meet your lord of land,” Pearl said.

“Does he make his own weapons by chance,” Bismuth asked.

“No,” Urbana said, “He just loves to collect them. I’m sure he’ll enjoy talking to you two about it though.”

Urbana then left them to talk among themselves and Urbana went up to the two shortest people in the room, Amethyst and Peridot.

The green triangle started circling Urbana and sounded off a lot of, hmm’s.

“Can I help you,” Urbana asked Peridot.

“You are completely organic,” Peridot mused.

“I mean, except for the fillings in my teeth, yah,” Urbana said.

“And yet you are capable of seeing humans that aren’t with us anymore,” Peridot said, “An otherwise impossible task for a normally organic human. Do you use any special technology?”

“No. I’m sorry to disappoint you,” Urbana said.

“What! OH, no, no, no, no. I wasn’t—I’m not disappointed,” Peridot said, “I just don’t understand. I want to know how you work, like how I know how a kindergarten drill works or how a sunflower blooms.”

“That’s a difficult kind of question to answer,” Urbana said.

“Yah, P-dot. Let’s keep this day relaxed,” Amethyst said.

“But it’s such a fascinating concept,” Peridot said, then she turned back to Urbana and asked, “Do you think you can see the “spirits” of shattered gems?”

“I don’t know,” Urbana said, “I’ve only ever seen dead people who were originally organic… Maybe I can see the shattered, maybe I can’t. Who knows?”

“That’s not the kind of answer I wanted to hear,” Peridot said.

Urbana just shrugged then asked, “Have you talked to Tucker yet?”

“No.”

“Do you like technology?” Urbana asked.

“Yes.”

“Well, he’s a ghost expert who specializes in techno stuff,” Urbana told her, “He may not have all the answers, but he’ll definitely want to talk tech with you. He’s the black guy wearing the red baseball hat backwards.”

Peridot immediately scampered off to talk to Tucker.

Amethyst sipped from her fountain soda, then said, “Nice.”

“Wait. Where did you get that cup of soda? You never moved from that spot,” Urbana asked.

“I decided to stretch my arms to the Big Donut,” Amethyst said, casually.

“Ah. Cool,” Urbana said, then she asked, “So how much do you charge for your services?”

Amethyst drank the rest of her soda and then ate the cup all in one bite, then she asked, “What services?”

“Well, you’re a model, right?” Urbana asked.

Amethyst gave Urbana a hard up-down look, then asked, “Are you flirting with me?”

Confused, Urbana asked, “What about my questions are flirtatious?”

“…Okay, well what makes you think I’m a model?”

“Your every pose and movement express emotion,” Urbana said, “And you have an energy about you that makes it seem like you are in motion even when you’re not. It’s beautiful and I would love to draw you for whenever you have the time.”

Blushing, Amethyst said, “Yah. You pegged me. I’ve modeled for artists before. You can just pay me in food. I love to eat.”

Urbana gasped excitedly then asked if Amethyst had a phone. She did and the two of them traded phone numbers.

With everyone having acquainted themselves with each other, all of Urbana’s friends buddied up with one or two other people of Steven’s family. Urbana and Danny buddied up with Steven and Connie, Garnet and Amethyst buddied up with Wednesday and Pugsley, Dani buddied up with Lapis and Peridot, and Bismuth and Pearl buddied up with Sam and Tucker. The Beach City natives were going to show Urbana and her friends their own tour of their town.

“Bye guys,” Steven said, “We’ll meet back here in two hours, then we should play Steven Tag.”

“Have Fun,” Pearl cheered.

“Don’t get stuck anywhere,” Amethyst added.

“Be careful of flying objects,” Garnet said.

Everyone parted ways either using the round crystal pad things or just walking out of the house.

“You take the lead Steven,” Urbana said, “What do you want to do?”

“Well first and foremost, we should get some bits,” Steven said.

“Hope you like fried potatoes,” Connie said.

“Where is it,” Danny asked, “I feel like racing.”

Steven said it’s located on the boardwalk, so Danny transformed into his ghostly form, challenged everyone to race him, then he flew off.

Laughing, Urbana said, “That’s cheating!”

Then the three of them ran after Danny to the boardwalk. Danny got there first, Steven was second and Connie and Urbana barely tied for third. Then Steven showed them a walk-up restaurant called Beach Citywalk Fries.

“Hey, Peedee,” Steven greeted the front desk guy, “Four orders of bits please.”

“I would like ketchup,” Danny added.

“I would like mine without any salt,” Urbana also added.

Peedee told a man named Ronaldo to make their orders. While they were waiting, Connie and Steven were examining Danny and were quite curious as to how he was able to be both dead and alive. Then there was a loud gasp and the sound of kitchen utensils being dropped and someone running and opening a door frantically. The four of them looked between themselves, wondering what was going on, until a man, who Urbana could only assume was Ronaldo, ran around the corner, skidded on his knees in front of her and grabbed her hand like he was going to propose to Urbana.

“My princess warrior! My War Goddess of Destruction who will help me defeat the Snake-People! I! Ronaldo! Have committed myself to you. I beseech you. Take me under your majestic wing so that I may defeat Snake-People like you do,” Ronaldo said.

“Are you sure your name’s not Don Quixote,” Urbana asked him, trying but failing to get him to let go of her hand.

“Yah, man,” Danny asked, “what are you talking about?”

Ronaldo let go of the struggling Urbana, who wasn’t ready to be let go and almost fell backwards but Connie caught her. Ronaldo then took out his phone and brought up a video of Urbana holding back Beetlejuice in his snake form.

“I’ve been trying to find her ever since her glorious battle with the monster,” Ronaldo said, “And now she’s here before—Wait. Where’d she go?”

Urbana had run away the moment everyone’s eyes were off of her. She was at the Big Donut getting a half dozen of glazed donuts to eat when Danny, Connie, and Steven found her.

“He didn’t follow you did he,” Urbana asked them.

“No,” Danny said, “I turned us all invisible.”

“It was exhilarating,” Connie said.

“Sorry about that,” Steven said, “Ronaldo can be a bit much.”

“It’s not your fault,” Urbana said, “I just didn’t think anyone from my college would find me here.”

Steven handed her, her fry order and Urbana shared her donuts with everyone, and Steven showed them around town; the arcade, the tiny amusement park, some of his neighbor’s houses, the abandoned building that has raves and wrestling matches in it sometimes, and finally Little Home World.

The two hours were up, and everyone reconvened at the Temple. Greg was passing out several different colored star-printed shirts to all of Urbana’s friends and to Peridot.

When Urbana got her shirt, she asked, “Why do we need these shirts?”

“Well, you can’t transform to look like Steven like we can,” Amethyst said and to illustrate her point her body turned bright white and she grew eight feet tall and when she turned back to her purple self she looked exactly like Steven.

Urbana and all of her friends ooo-ed and aaa-ed at Amethyst before and after she shapeshifted back to her original self.

“Alright, that’s everyone,” Greg said.

Steven immediately went after Connie as everyone, but Urbana and Garnet, scattered across the beach in front of the Temple. It wasn’t long until he caught Connie. The two of them gave each other a quick kiss, then Connie put on her star shirt and ran after Wednesday and Pugsley. Steven then set his sight on Urbana, knowing that she’s the only one who’ll be able to touch Danny and Dani if they’re going to get everyone.

As Steven ran closer, Garnet asked, “Aren’t you going to start running?”

“I’m conserving energy,” Urbana said.

Steven then lunged for Urbana, but she and Garnet side stepped him, and he ran between them, almost touching them.

“You better run if you don’t want me to tag you,” Steven said, sounding confident.

“You got to touch me first,” Urbana said, just as confident.

Every attempt by Steven to tag Urbana was always thwarted by her amazing dodging skills, but Urbana was constantly just one mistake away from him actually getting her. Even Steven’s attempt of kicking her feet from beneath her failed and he was starting to think that he was going to need to stretch out his arms to surprise her and get her, but he was interrupted when a loud guitar riff slammed into them, knocking them and everyone else off balance.

Floating in the air above them were two ghosts, Ember and Desiree. Both ghost women were starting their evil monolog when ice swords came out of nowhere, and Steven shielded himself and Urbana and whoever managed to get behind him before they could hurt anyone. One flying blue and red gem person with four legs then started to do her own monologuing.

“Hey! What are you doing here?” Desiree asked, “We got here first.”

“I’m Bluebird Azurite and you weren’t here first,” she said, “I’ve been in hiding this whole time waiting for the Crystal Gems to be alone.”

“Crystal what now?” Ember asked.

Thinking quickly, Urbana shouted, “Desiree, I wish—”

But Urbana was then cut off by Ember who shredded her guitar again. Then Ember said, “I wish to have sexy backup singers.”

Three random buff men in tight pants and no shirt appeared, floating behind the two ghost women. They started to sing Ember’s name and Urbana could see Desiree and Ember’s powers grow.

“What the?” Bluebird Azurite said, then angrily she started firing multiple ice swords at Ember and Desiree, but it did nothing to them, only passing through their ghostly bodies. The two parties started to fight each other, leaving Urbana, Steven, and the rest of their friends and family to watch them, unsure of what to do, given the strange situation.

“We need to stop them before Ember and Desiree get too strong,” Urbana said.

“I need to bubble Bluebird,” Steven said, then he turned to Urbana and asked, “Shall we?”

“We shall,” Urbana agreed.

Then with a flourish of motions, Steven and Urbana fused and the thirteen-foot tall Urben was born again. Steven’s shield was now a rose gold painter’s pallet and a rose gold paint brush manifested in Urben’s right hand. With three powerful brush strokes, Urben captured and pinned down Ember and Desiree in a glittery rose gold paint. Danny got out the Thermos from Jazz’s purse and immediately sucked them up in it. Bluebird tried to attack them by firing more ice swords, but Urben blocked the attacks using the painter’s pallet, then they painted a rose gold bubble around them, that crushed them until they poofed leaving behind only two gems in the rose gold bubble. Urben tapped the bubble and it disappeared.

Urben was about to un-fuse, but Connie and the other members of Steven’s family ran up to them ooo-ing and aaa-ing. With Urbana’s friends awe struck at the sight of them.

“Urben, you look great,” Connie said.

“Oh, um, thank you,” they said, “Are all of you okay?”

“We’re fine,” Danny said, “But what about you? What exactly are you?”

Wednesday and Pugsley happily explained to Jazz, Danny, Sam, Tucker, and Dani what fusion is and that, that is what they are, a fusion of their friendship.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you guys,” Urben said, “It’s hard to explain…”

“Like why you have so many eyes,” Tucker asked.

“Multiple body parts are a natural part of mixed fusion,” Garnet stated.

“And you’re okay with it,” Urben asked Connie, their voice sounding more feminine, “I don’t want to be a house wrecker between you and Steven.”

“Why would your existence be a house wrecker,” Connie asked, “I want my boyfriend to have as many friends as he wants and I want him to feel as comfortable with them as I feel comfortable with him. This is my first time seeing him fuse with anyone outside our hometown and it’s amazing.”

Urben unfused and Steven went over to kiss Connie and Urbana was surrounded by her friends, all asking questions of how it feels and other stuff.

The rest of the day, everyone had a peaceful day, eating barbeque, swimming in the ocean, trading stories, and enjoying each other’s company.


	24. Quality Time

It was July and Urbana was looking for Fester, wanting to hang out with the man since she felt like she hasn’t been spending enough time with him. Urbana found him in the attic, working on his chemical experiments.

Urbana knocked on the floor latch that lead up into the attic and was immediately met with the sound of an explosion.

“Don’t come in,” Fester said, “It’s not safe.”

Urbana backed away and five minutes later, Fester raced down the stair ladders and closed the little floor door behind him. He was wearing a lab coat and rubber gloves and protective goggles.

“Wooo! Got to let that sucker air out for a bit,” Fester said.

“Are you okay?”

“I’ll be fine,” He said, “I just should take a cold shower. Did you want something?”

“Well, I thought I’d ask you to help me with my Spanish,” Urbana said, “As an English Major I need one foreign language and I’m doing Spanish. So I thought I’d ask you.”

“Of course, I’ll help you with your Spanish and so will Gomez,” Fester said.

“Eh, I only want you to teach me,” Urbana said, “I already spend a lot of time with him when he’s training me how to fight like a troll and teaching me how to use my new weapons, and I want something for only us to do together.”

Clasping his hands over his heart, Fester said, “Awwwe. That’s so sweet. Les voy a enseñar todas las mejores maldiciones que conozco.”

“Um, what?” Urbana asked.

“We’re going to have so much fun together,” Fester said.

* Translation: I'm going to teach you all of the best curses I know.

# # #

Tired from sparing with Gomez, and playing with Wednesday and Pugsley, and translating the diary with Tucker, and hanging out with Dani, Sam, Jazz, and Danny at the Lake, Urbana was feeling socially drained and needed some peace and quiet.

As she was drudging her way up to her room, Urbana saw that Grandmama was looking at a photo album in the Library. Looking at Grandmama smile at unknown pictures with the sun shining behind her chair made Urbana feel at peace and made her a little curious as to what she was looking at.

Urbana entered the Library, grabbed an old chair, then scooted it over next to Grandmama.

“Hello, Dear. You look tired,” Grandmama said.

“I am,” Urbana said, “What are you looking at?”

“An old album book I made before I retired from the B.P.R.D. This book contains all of the photos I took and a few photos my friends from the B.P.R.D. have added too,” Grandmama then flipped the book to the first page. It revealed a black and white photo of a few men in world war two armor, a few costumed, superhero looking people, a few normal science looking people and there in the middle picture on the ground was little baby Hellboy.

Urbana pointed him out and said, “Look how cute he is.”

“Yes, that’s what I thought too, when I saw him,” Grandmama said. Then she pointed to a thin looking man kneeling beside Hellboy and said, “That’s Trevor Bruttenholm, my old best friend,” then she pointed to an a stocky looking woman kneeling on the other side of Hellboy and said, “and that’s me.”

Urbana looked between the three of them and said, “You three already look like a family in this photo. When was it taken?”

“1944. It was when we founded the B.P.R.D. with Trevor… I miss that old man,” Grandmama said.

“Grandmama, how old _are_ you,” Urbana asked.

“Oh, my, how forward of you to ask me my age, Dear,” Grandmama said.

“I’m sorry,” Urbana said.

Grandmama pinched her cheek and said, “I’m just teasing. I was born in 1830 so I’m… 219 years old.”

“Oh my god,” Urbana said, “That’s so old.”

“I know,” Grandmama said proudly, “I’m hoping I can reach the age of 222 before I die.”

“Is your life long because you’re half witch?” Urbana asked.

“Yes, Dear,” Grandmama said, “My siblings are centuries older than me. If I was a full witch, I would have outlived my siblings, but instead they’ll be burying me first.”

“At least you’ll be able to see Frank more easily,” Urbana said.

“That’s true and then I’ll also be able to see my old best friend,” Grandmama said.

“Why haven’t you called Trevor with the séance,” Urbana asked.

“Oh, I have, but he never comes,” Grandmama said, looking at the old photo of him sadly, “I’m sure he has his reasons.”

Urbana turned the page of the album book and asked why baby Hellboy was covered in chocolate in one of the photos. Grandmama happily told Urbana the story behind the photo.

Urbana kept that up, looking at photos and asking about them to let Grandmama tell her stories about them. It was relaxing for Urbana and she knew it made Grandmama happy too.

# # #

Urbana coming back from a relaxing stroll around the lake, saw Dani was sitting on top of the gazebo in the middle of the cemetery. She seemed like she was deep in thought.

“Hey, Da—”

Dani jumped reactively and fell off the top of the gazebo and landed in the bushes around it.

Urbana ran up to her and asked, “Are you okay? Did you land on anything wrong?”

Dani offered her hand for Urbana to help her up with as she said, “I’m fine. I’ll be sore for only a few minutes.”

Urbana stared at her hand apologetically.

“Oh, right. Sorry,” Dani said as she got up herself.

“What were you thinking about?” Urbana asked.

“I was trying to think on Beetlejuice’s teachings,” Dani said, “I’ve learned several languages and tactics and battle skills from traveling around the world, but this emotional stuff just seems to be blocking me.”

“Are you sure you’re not doing the blocking yourself,” Urbana said, from experience, “Thinking about things you don’t want to think about is hard to do.”

Dani crossed her arms over her chest and gave Urbana a hard look. A part of her wanted to spill her guts to Urbana, she makes is so easy to do too, with her soft golden glow that made her feel safe and warm at the sight of her, and her kind hazel eyes that seemed to look into her without judgement, and her earnest desire to be kind. There was still a part of her that wanted to not trust her, because it’s too good to be true, but Dani knew that Urbana hasn’t done anything that has made her suspicious in her eye’s or her family’s eyes.

“I don’t really talk about my feels that much,” Dani said.

“Oh, I understand,” Urbana said, “If you don’t like talking about it to anyone or if you feel like you can’t talk to anyone about your feelings, try keeping a journal.”

“Have you kept a journal before,” Dani asked.

“I have,” Urbana said, “Growing up I was always very lonely and frustrated with my life. Being able to write how I was feeling helped me a lot. Though, I haven’t really kept a journal since I graduated from high school.”

“I can’t imagine you being lonely,” Dani said.

Urbana just smiled at her.

“Does it help,” Dani asked.

“Well, it helped me,” Urbana told her, “But there are several ways to express and learn how to look through your emotions. Beetlejuice expresses and processes his emotions through actions, I like to do it by writing, and Danny prefers to talk to someone about how he’s feeling if he can’t think on it on his own. I’m sure there’s a way for you to think about your emotions for yourself too.”

Dani was silent as she looked at her feet.

“I’ll leave you to it then,” Urbana told her, “Don’t get heat stroke.”

“Um, thanks for talking to me,” Dani said, “I got this new album from BTS on my phone. Do you want to listen to it with me?”

“Oh, I’d love to,” Urbana said, excited to listen to new music.

The two of them sat under the gazebo listening to music until Urbana had to go to work.

# # #

It was a clear night sky. Danny and Urbana were laying on a blanket on the front lawn star gazing with each other and talking about random stuff, like Urbana managing to get her course run down to eight minutes instead of ten minutes and Danny helping his girlfriend, Aunt, and Grandma with the greenhouse.

“One of Aunt Morticia’s plants knocked over a large bag of fertilizer and it went all over the place,” Danny said, “My nose was so black it was like I was snorting fertilizer as if it was cocaine.”

Urbana snorted in laughter and Danny laughed with her.

The two of them were silent for a moment as they stared at the stars.

Then Danny asked, “So, why do you feel so lonely, Urbana.”

“Still not dropping it, huh,” she said.

Danny turned on his side to look at his friend better and said, “That tiny ball of energy made my ghostly wail three times stronger than normal. I can’t ignore that.”

“It’s just a passing feeling, Danny,” Urbana said, “And it’s just me being silly.”

“There’s nothing silly about how heavy your loneliness felt,” Danny said.

Urbana sighed and was silent as she looked at the stars above them. Danny waited for her to speak.

“I know I’m not going to be someone you’ll deem as “important” in your life for long,” Urbana said.

“I don’t understand,” Danny said.

“It’s something that’ll happen eventually,” Urbana said, “and it’ll happen with Tucker too when he gets a girlfriend in his life that he’ll want to marry. Same with Jazz and Steven too.”

“I still don’t understand how this is related to your lonely feeling,” Danny said, “Are you saying you have a crush on me?”

“Oh, god no,” Urbana said, “I’m just saying, that friends become less important the more someone is in love with someone else. You’ll be off, married to Sam and thinking about kids and stuff and you’ll have new things that you’ll want to do, instead of playing DnD with me or watching the stars with me or talking about our random interests. Our friendship won’t last forever, because I know how important your romantic love is for you. And I’ll be left behind, because I can’t catch up to the sort of relationships that you, Sam, Tucker, and Jazz, and Steven are interested in talking about.” Urbana turned her head to look at Danny through the dark, “But don’t worry. Even though I’ll be sad to see you go. I’m still happy to have any memories I can make with you and everyone else.”

Danny felt his heart tear in two and he wished he could just sit her up and hug her, but he wasn’t confident enough in his training with Beetlejuice, to try yet.

“Urbana, you’re wrong,” he said.

“Oh?” she said, sounding amused.

“Yes,” Danny said, upset with her indifferent tone, “I love my friends just as much as I love my girlfriend. Heck, my girlfriend was and is still my friend. If there’s anything that I can do to make you feel like we’ll always be friends, just say it.”

“Danny, this is why I didn’t want to tell you about how I was feeling,” Urbana told him, “I don’t want you to feel guilty about how I feel and I don’t want your sympathy. I just feel like that and there’s nothing you can do about it but accept it.”

“Well, I don’t like how you expect us to just abandon our friendship with you, just because things change,” Danny said, “I’ll accept that you feel lonely, but I cant accept the fact that you think we would do that to you.”

“I don’t expect you guys to do it on purpose to me, Danny,” Urbana said as she sat up in a sitting position. Danny sat up all the way too. She then continued, “It’ll be a slow thing. We’ll stop face chatting each other, then phone calls will become scarce, and the texts we answer to each other will all be just one-word sentences. Then I’ll move out of the mansion and then we’ll never see each other again and eventually we’ll just delete each other’s phone numbers from our phones and we’ll be pleasant memories to each other.”

“How many friends have you had in your life,” Danny asked her.

“Beside Beetlejuice, you and your family are the longest friendships I’ve ever had,” Urbana told him.

“Then I’m going to promise you—”

“—Up’up,” Urbana said, interrupting him, “Don’t make promises of that sort. That just leaves room for disappointment, for me and for you too if you truly are wanting to honor the supposed promise. Don’t worry about the time eroding our friendship like the rain to the earth. Let us only enjoy that it rains.”

Urbana laid back down to view the stars again and after a moment Danny followed suit, but he wasn’t going to let this die. He’s a ghost superhero for god’s sake, he’ll be damned before he let his friends think that he doesn’t want them in his life.

# # #

Urbana was making black tea while Jazz was sitting at the kitchen table, staring intently at her. Danny told Jazz about why Urbana felt lonely, but she figured she shouldn’t say anything incase Urbana expected Danny not to say anything to anyone.

“What’s wrong? Do I have something on my face,” Urbana asked as she sat a cup of tea in front of Jazz then sat across from her at the kitchen table.

“Oh, no… I was just wondering what you are,” Jazz said.

‘Human, I hope,” Urbana said.

“No, I mean, Wednesday and Dani are lesbians, Uncle Fester’s aromantic and straight, I’m bisexual, Beetlejuice is pansexual, and I’m just wondering what you think you are,” Jazz said.

“Bisexual?” Urbana said.

“You think that’s what you are,” Jazz asked.

Urbana just shrugged.

“Have you ever thought about looking up the different spectrums of sexuality,” Jazz asked her.

“No.”

“Why not,” she asked.

“Well, doesn’t looking up sexuality types mean that you’re confused or you feel like something’s missing about you,” Urbana asked, then continued, “I mean, I’ve never really considered either men or women attractive in any kind of sexual or romantic way before so since I’m like that, that means I’m bisexual, because zero plus zero equals zero. So I have to be bisexual. Besides, my family is waiting for that special man to come into my life to change my mind or something.”

“Urbana, that sounds like you’re aromantic and asexual,” Jazz said.

“There you go again using the word aromantic and now asexual? What exactly do those mean?” she asked.

“Well, aromantic means having no interest in or desire for romantic relationships. And asexual means having little to no sexual feelings or associations,” she explained.

It felt like something clicked in Urbana’s head when she heard those explanations. Both words did sound like a description of herself, but she wasn’t exactly sure how she felt about it, considering it doesn’t change anything, is just gives her a word to identify herself with.

“So, Fester is an aromantic trans-man,” Urbana said, “… Huh.” She then took a sip of her black tea.

“Do you feel like those words describe you too,” Jazz asked.

Urbana just shrugged.

“Well, if you feel like you have any questions about those sorts of things, you can come to me,” Jazz said, “I’m training to be an LGBTQ specific therapist and as a friend I’ll charge you for free for a talk with me.”

Urbana gave her a smile and the two of them moved on to talking about art and ghost fights.

# # #

The Fenton family were packed up and were saying their goodbyes to the Addams family and Urbana. Jack, Gomez holding Raven, and Fester were giving each other a big group hug. Maddie, Morticia holding Red, and Grandmama were giving each other a group hug too. Then the two adult groups broke off from each other and then started randomly hugging each other, saying their goodbyes. Jazz was practically smothering Urbana in a hug, but Urbana let it happen, since it felt nice instead of restrictive. Once Jazz was done hugging her, she went up to Wednesday and Pugsley to give them a hug while Urbana went over to Tucker and Sam and hugged them goodbye.

“Stay safe,” Tucker said.

“Call me if that Susie girl goes after you again,” Sam said.

“Okay, you two,” Urbana told them as she stopped hugging them goodbye.

Urbana then put her metal gloves on and went up to Dani and shook her hand, “It was nice to meet you. I hope we see each other again.”

“We have each other’s phone numbers,” Dani said, “We’ll be able to talk whenever.”

“I know, but it’ll still be nice to see you in person again,” Urbana told her.

Dani nodded and Urbana let go of her hand.

Finally, Urbana went up to Danny and was going to start the elaborate handshake they have practiced before. But as she raised her arms up to do a double, down low, hi-five with him, Danny instead asked.

“Can I give you a hug?”

Urbana hesitated for a second, but then she said, “Sure.”

Urbana prepared herself to feel faint, but as the two friends embraced, Urbana felt a strong current of energy flow between them. It wasn’t draining, like it was when Danny first touched her and almost all of her energy was taken away from her, but it certainly didn’t feel like the lazy boy stream energy exchange when Beetlejuice touches her. It was going in a circle, but it was faster, like rapids before a waterfall.

Danny stopped hugging his friend and said, “I’ll see you around. Okay?”

“Of course,” Urbana told him with a proud smile.

With everyone having said their goodbyes, the Addams family and Urbana waved goodbye to the RV until is disappeared down the long gravel driveway.


	25. Work for the R.P.B.D.

It was August and Urbana was looking at her online bills for her first semester of her third year of college on her laptop. Yes, it’s true that she managed to pay off this semester with the money that she saved up over the past two years. The problem was that it took all $4,000 from her savings account and it took the $300 in her checking to pay both for her classes and the books she needed to rent. So much money saved up in two years, gone in one day. It was disheartening for her to see.

How was she going to pay for her rent, her car payment, and next semester? She really didn’t want to take out any student loans, those things are nothing but death traps. Maybe there’s a monthly payment plan that she can strike up with the financial department? She didn’t rightly know. Her job at Olive Garden is her biggest paycheck to date, maybe if she took up more hours and told her comic fans that she’ll have to stop writing and drawing her story for a while. They’ll understand, right? She could ask Morticia and Gomez if she could push back her monthly payments, they did that for her when she was out of the job with her broken ankle, but she’s not crippled in any physical way so she didn’t feel right asking for that kind of favor.

There was so much to worry about, but she didn’t know where to start.

Urbana saw her cell phone ringing and the caller ID showed that it was Hellboy.

She picked it up and said, “Hellboy? What’s wrong?”

“Have you ever delt with a lich before,” he asked.

“Can’t say I have,” she said as she rolled over on her back in her bed, then asked, “What type of lich are we talking about here?”

“The natural kind that can possess dead bodies,” Hellboy said, “Not the ones that are made by magic and ritual.”

“Oh. Are they aggressive or something?” she asked.

“Yes. Do you think you can come here and calm them down so we can question them?”

“You’ve captured a lich!?” Urbana exclaimed, as she sat up in her bed.

“Honestly, it feels more like we’re barely containing it, instead of having it captured,” Hellboy said.

“Listen, Hellboy, I’d love to help, but I’ve missed too much work from when I had my ankle broken and college will be starting in four days. I’ll need a two-week notice at the very least,” Urbana told him.

“I’m not asking you to come here for free,” Hellboy said, “The Bureau is willing to pay you for your work for us.”

She sighed then asked, “How much?”

“Minimum of $4,000. If the lich has the information, we think it has, then The Bureau might be persuaded to give you $5,000,” Hellboy said.

Urbana’s heart leaped with hope at the sound of the payment.

“Give me a day to call up some people and set some things straight and I’ll drive over there,” Urbana said.

“So you’ll come then,” He asked to double check.

“Yes, I’ll come over to calm down your lich,” She confirmed.

“Then don’t worry about driving to The Bureau. We’ll send you a helicopter. They’ll be at the mansion by the end of the day, so you’ll have that time you said you need,” Hellboy said.

“Understood,” she said, “See you.” Then they hung up on each other.

Urbana got out of her bed, grabbed Gizmo, then ran downstairs calling a family meeting in the living room. She told everyone about the phone call she just had, and she told them that she’ll be leaving by the end of the day.

“I want to come with you,” Wednesday said.

“I’m sorry, Dear,” Morticia said, “But this is Urbana’s trip. You’re going to have to stay here.”

“But I’ve been begging Uncle Red to take me to The Bureau ever since I’ve decided I wanted to be a detective,” Wednesday said.

“Wednesday,” Gomez said, “You heard your mother.”

She turned to her Grandma, “Grandmama?”

“You heard them,” Grandmama said, “I know you’re excited about joining the B.P.R.D. But them having an out of control lich at The Bureau isn’t safe for a child.”

“I’m fifteen! What’s the point of having a quinceanera if I’m not even going to be viewed as an adult?” Wednesday said before marching up to her room.

“Yah! I’m jealous too,” Pugsley said, then he followed his sister up the stairs.

All of the adults in the living room were silent for a moment, then Urbana said, “That’s the most expressive I’ve seen Wednesday be.”

“I know,” Morticia said, “I’m proud to see her experimenting with her expressions.”

“Well, that’s all I had to say,” Urbana said, “I need to go call Beetlejuice.”

“After you’re done with that come to my room, okay,” Grandmama told Urbana.

“Okay,” she told Grandmama.

Then everyone broke off to do their own things.

Urbana asked Beetlejuice to shapeshift to look like her and cover her job shifts for her, she had to bribe him with sweet treats filled with bugs, but he was willing to do it since he’s seen her work and knows how to act like her. Then Urbana sent out e-mails to all of her teachers that she may or may not appear in the first week of school because of family matters and that she’s sorry if she’s gone longer than a week. Her teachers were understanding and hoped whoever was hurt in her family, gets well soon. Then Urbana went to Grandmama’s room.

“What did you want to see me about, Grandmama,” Urbana asked.

On Grandmama’s bed was an old brown, zip-up jumpsuit with the B.P.R.D.’s badge on the left breast side. Beside the jumpsuit was an old shoulder bag that looked wide enough to fit her laptop in it.

“Oh, cool, this is your old uniform,” Urbana said.

“That’s correct,” Grandmama said, “I was saving this for when Wednesday was old enough to join the B.P.R.D., but then I realized that she’ll have her own style and accommodations she’ll want her uniform to have, instead of wearing her Grandma’s old clothes, so I thought you could use them. Try them on.”

Urbana slipped the jumpsuit over her clothes that she thought she should wear to The Bureau and zipped it up. It fit fine around her legs and it passed the squat test, but it was really loose in her breast area, but she could deal.

“Fits alright,” Urbana told her.

“Lovely,” Grandmama said, “Hilda’s the one who made the jumpsuit for me. Since I’m a potion’s master, Hilda made the pockets of the jumpsuit infinitely deep, only limited by how heavy an item is. Same goes for the old shoulder bag,” Then she picked it up off of the bed and said, “I want you to have these. Even if you never become a B.P.R.D. agent in your life, you’ll still have to deal with the supernatural in your life and having something to protect your everyday clothes with will be nice, no?”

“I never really thought of that,” Urbana said, “Thank you.”

The two of them hugged.

“I’m going to make you a lunch for the road,” Grandmama said after they hugged.

Urbana then went to her room to fill her new shoulder bag with things she thought she’ll need; her phone with headphones and an extra pair of headphones, her portable charger and phone cord charger, a sketch book with a few pencils, an eraser and a pencil sharpener, one fun book to read, Bubble’s diary and the translation book. Gizmo tried to get into her bag, but she told him that he was going to have to stay and that the Addams would take care of him. Finally she just needed to find her sword but it wasn’t in her room like she thought it was.

Urbana went to go look for it, but Gomez found her holding a sword and a belt.

“Ah, good, you were in your room,” Gomez said as he pranced up to her.

“You’re excited,” Urbana said, “Do you know what happened to my sword?”

“Well, I’m replacing your épée fencing sword for this saber blade fencing sword,” Gomez said, “This will make you look more threatening when you face strangers that may want to do you harm,” He handed her the sword then he said, “And the belt is something that you have earned. Your fencing discipline, quick learning ability, and excitement for the craft has made me so proud of your growth that I think that you are now ready for your sheath. For every great warrior must know when to draw their swords, but also must know when to sheath them.”

“Awe, thank you Gomez,” Urbana said as she took the belt. Then she clasped it around her hips loosely and sheathed her saber blade fencing sword.

“Oh, by the way, Fester is looking for you too, and Morticia is in the greenhouse wanting you to meet her there,” Gomez added.

“Okay. Then.” Urbana said as she walked down the stairs with Gomez.

Urbana went to the greenhouse first and Morticia wanted to give her a small potted succulent.

“O-oh, thank you Morticia,” Urbana said, “It’s beautiful.”

“I wanted to give you one of my man eaters, but you’ve delt with enough of those,” Morticia chuckled as she fiddled with her Audrey necklace, “This is called a Furry Hum. Listen.”

Urbana put her ear to the fuzzy little succulent and she could hear it humming a lullaby like song.

“Oh, wow,” Urbana said.

“I want this plant to bring you a peace of mind if you feel overwhelmed or drained,” Morticia said.

“Okay,” Urbana said then she placed the plant in the right breast pocket of her jumpsuit.

Eventually, Fester found Urbana and gave her a pack of homemade smoke bombs that he made.

“In case you need to use these to distract your opponents,” Fester said, “You don’t have to light them up or anything, just throw them down and they’ll make a bang sound and smoke will start covering the immediate area.

Urbana took the egg-shaped smoke bombs and said, “Okay, Fester, be real with me. Am I going on a suicide mission or something, because everyone keeps giving me things and it’s making me nervous?”

“What? No,” Fester said, “We’re just happy that you’re doing something outside of your comfort zone, you’ll be meeting new people, seeing new places, dealing with new problems, we are all so proud of you for making this decision, we can’t contain ourselves.”

“Oh… Then thank you for the smoke bombs,” Urbana said, then she pocketed them.

The sound of a helicopter could be heard landing in the front lawn of the mansion. Urbana bid Fester farewell and ran to her room to grab the shoulder bag. She tried to just grab the shoulder bag and go, but it felt incredibly heavy. Not thinking too much about it, Urbana lifted it over her head to rest on her shoulder then she ran down the stairs to greet the helicopter pilot. The Addams family were all outside, waving goodbye to Urbana, except for Wednesday, probably pouting in her room about not being able to go with.

Sometime later, Urbana made it to the landing pad of the B.P.R.D. HQ. Waiting outside for her were Hellboy, Abe, and Liz. The HQ itself looked inconspicuous, like your regular old insurance office for a small town, it would look even less conspicuous if it wasn’t for the landing pads.

Urbana ran up to Hellboy to give the demon man a hug.

“It’s so good to see you,” Urbana told him.

“Glad to see you too,” Hellboy said, “but we can’t prolog this meet and greet.”

She stopped hugging him and said, “Nonsense, there’s always time for Grandmama’s snickerdoodle cookies.” Then she pulled them out of the shoulder bag and gave the plastic wrap covered plate of cookies to Hellboy.

While Hellboy was debating with himself on whether he should wait to eat his favorite cookies or not, Urbana went to greet everyone else.

“My favorite fish prince,” Urbana said to Abe.

“Hello, Urbana,” Abe said as he was expecting her to hug him. He wasn’t expecting her to lift him up bridal style.

“Yes! I’m strong enough to lift you now,” Urbana said happily.

“Very impressive,” He said as he patted her shoulder, “Now put me down.”

“No wait,” Liz said as she got out her cellphone, “Let me take a picture.”

Urbana smiled wide for the camera while Abe had his arms crossed over his chest and looking miffed.

“Beautiful,” Liz said.

Urbana let Abe down then she said to Liz, “Your turn.”

Fire immediately sprung in front of Urbana, keeping her away from Liz. “I don’t think so,” she said.

“Hugs then,” Urbana asked.

The fire subsided and Liz said, “Oh, alright.”

The two women hugged.

“Okay, I’m ready to have a visit with my first lich,” Urbana said after the hug.

Biting into a cookie, Hellboy said with his mouth full, “Good. Cause this lich better know what Rasputin has planned.”

Urbana followed them inside and asked, “I thought liches were uncontrollable?”

“Apparently, this lich was convinced to work for Rasputin,” Liz said.

“How do you know that?” she asked.

“When Rasputin sent it after us as a distraction so that we couldn’t capture and/or kill him,” Abe said.

“Ah,” was Urbana’s reply.

Urbana followed the three of them into an elevator and they went down. The elevator’s floor number display had ten levels, and they went all the way to floor nine. As soon as the elevator doors opened, Urbana felt a wave of distressing emotions that made her cry like cutting an onion would make her cry.

“What’s wrong,” Liz asked, seeing the tears first as the other two turned to look at her.

“I think it’s the lich,” Urbana said, not bothering to wipe away her tears, “Don’t worry about me. I’m just crying reactively. Come on, show me the way.”

The three of them continued to lead her towards the lich and the closer they got the heavier the emotions of the lich felt on her soul and the sound of arguing became prominent in the concrete and florescent lit hallway. The four of them turned a corner and Urbana saw Jazz arguing with a man in a tan jumpsuit wearing a weird backpack with a strange metal hose attached to it. There were three men dressed like the man Jazz was arguing with standing to the side looking at an electronic together, and they all had a patch on their shoulders of a stereotypical ghosts being red “X-ed” out and underneath the picture read Ghostbusters.

Jazz saw Urbana and she happily stopped arguing with the man to go up to Urbana and hug her, “I’m so glad you made it. Maybe you can convince these idiots to let you do your thing… Why are you crying?”

“Never mind that, what are you doing here,” Urbana asked.

“I’m here representing Fenton Tech.” Jazz said, “The Bureau called us to help them contain the lich.”

“And you’re doing a piss poor job of it,” the man Jazz was arguing with said. Urbana thought he looked like a con artist.

“Your Fenton Shields, as you like to call them,” a smart looking man with glasses holding the electronic the other two were looking at with him said, “will fail any minute here and the lich will wrack havoc in this base.”

“You’ve got to let us take that thing out,” the black man said, we saw the readings just go through the roof.

“That was most likely because of the arrival of our newest guest,” A man in a hazmat looking suit said as he walked up to them. Urbana thought something was off about him.

He went up to Urbana and shook her hand, “Johann Kraus. Nice to meet you.”

Even though Urbana still felt something was off about Johann Kraus his touch gave her a sense of confidence that made her feel like she could do this.

“Do you know where the lich is?” Urbana asked him.

“Yes,” Johann said, “I’ve been trying to calm it down and speak with them but I’m not powerful enough for it.”

“Then show me the way, everyone else, shoo! Leave,” Urbana said as she took off her sword and belt, handing it to Jazz, and taking off her shoulder bag, handing it to Abe who buckled a little under the weight of the bag, “We’ll have this under control soon.”

Johann led the way to where The Bureau was holding the lich. The closer Urbana got, the more intense the emotions she felt were and the more she cried from those intense emotions. Soon they came before a heavily sealed metal door.

“Are you ready,” Johann asked her.

“…No. I’m not,” Urbana said, “I need to not be how I’m acting right now.”

“Would you like some help,” he asked.

“Well, you’re the expert on this sort of thing. I imagen you’re a Medium, right?” Urbana asked and when he confirmed she continued, “I’ve never dealt with a lich. Their emotional complexity is so much more extreme than your average human being or ghost. It almost feels like there are two people in there. So, how do you handle these crippling emotions that aren’t yours?”

Johann regarded her for a moment then said, “I allow the emotions that I feel space within me, but I view them as guests in my house, they may stay a while but they won’t stay forever and the emotions that do stay are yours, not anyone else’s.”

Urbana thought on his words.

“If you need a moment to compose yourself, that is fine,” Johann said, “The lich, as of right now, isn’t going anywhere.”

Urbana sat on the cold cement floor and pulled out the Fury Hum from her breast pocket, then she listened to its humming lullaby, took a couple of deep breaths, then did as Johann suggested. From the lich she felt fear, rage, sadness, and annoyance. Urbana realized that there _are_ two beings in there, the one emoting the rage and annoyance felt like the being of an older woman, while the one emoting the fear and sadness felt like the being of a young boy.

Urbana stood up, hoping to help the unknown young boy as best as she could.

“You’ve stopped crying,” Johann noted.

“I’m ready to go,” Urbana said as she put the succulent back into her breast pocket.

Before he opened the door, he asked, “What did you sense?” Urbana told him. Then he said, “I see. No wonder I wasn’t able to calm them down. We’ll have to separate them.”

“How? Exactly,” Urbana asked.

He asked if she could touch ghosts and when she said yes, he said, “We’ll have to get physical. You’ll get the child; I’ll get the woman that you spoke of.”

Then he opened the sealed door.

The overflowing emotions Urbana felt were as intense as the rapids before Niagara Falls, but like a rock, Urbana let it roll over her. Laying on the floor was a mummified corpse, brown and muddy looking, like it came freshly preserved from the middle of a bog. Swirling above it had to be the two liches. Screeches and moans emanated from the swirling mass of emotional agony.

Unsure of herself, Urbana looked to Johann Kraus, only to see the hazmat suit he was in, deflated on the ground and a ghost floating above it.

“It already killed you,” Urbana screeched.

“No,” Johann said, “Come on. I don’t have time to explain. Grab the boy.”

Johann threw himself into the swirling mass. She could feel him fighting the liches, holding them back, but he couldn’t tell which was which. Urbana wasn’t sure how to tell them apart either. She knew that if she was a scared little kid, she would gravitate to the calmest, nicest, seeming person around. Urbana tried to radiate that kind of feeling from herself.

Without her being able to see it, Urbana made her golden glow spread out from her like the aurora borealis, it burned none of them, and it impowered no one, it only gave each of them a nostalgic feeling for what made them feel happy and safe as living children. It helped Urbana sense which one of them was actually the hurting little boy.

She then leaped into the spinning mess of emotions and grabbed the boy. She felt instantly drained by his touch, but she didn’t let go as she pulled him out of the swirling mess of ectoplasm and negative emotions.

Finally seeing the difference, Johann pulled at the lich woman that was trying to pull the other lich back into her. After an intense struggle of tug-o-war, Urbana and Johann managed to pull the two liches apart. Johann slammed the lich woman against the opposite side of the containment room that they were in, then he told Urbana to run with the child out of the room and to close the door behind them.

Urbana did as she was told. As the door closed, she felt scared that Johann might end up having done to him what was done to the unnamed boy. Then they saw the hazmat suit slip through the closing door before it shut itself and locked up.

Just to be safe, Urbana touched the suit, to make sure that it really was Johann. It was.

“Oh, thank god,” Urbana said as she slumped against the concrete wall.

The little lich boy was still holding on to Urbana, draining her energy, but in the same way a device drains a battery, not because it’s malicious, but just because it does.

“Good job, Urbana,” He told her. Then he got to eye level with the little lich boy that was hiding behind Urbana and told him, “You should let go of her.”

He shook his head furiously and then hid his face in her back.

Urbana shook her head at Johann. Then she turned around and put her hands on the lich boy’s shoulders. He looked like your stereotypical Halloween ghost, looking like a child that cut eye holes into a white bed sheet. She then told him her name and asked for his.

“I’m Casper. I just wanted to do good. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone,” he said.

Trying to be motherly like her mother and Morticia, Urbana said, “Shh, I know. I know. Is it okay if I introduce you to my friends?”

Casper looked apprehensive but eventually he nodded his head.

Urbana tried to make a little distance between her and Casper, but he held her hand, so she just let it happen since he was still scared. She first introduced Johann Kraus to Casper.

“Sorry for the violence against you,” Johann said.

Casper in response held on tighter to Urbana.

“Where do you think the other’s might be,” Urbana asked Johann.

Johann shrugged and showed them around, first they looked in the library, then the conference room, then they found everyone in the cafeteria. The cafeteria wasn’t that big and there were only three other strangers in the cafeteria with Abe, Liz, Hellboy, the Ghostbusters, Jazz and Hellboy, but it was noisy with arguments again. This time the argument was about Wednesday having snuck into The Bureau using the shoulder bag, and she was getting an ear-full, from Jazz and Hellboy.

Wednesday, seeing Urbana, ran up to her and hid behind her saying, “You understand. Don’t let them send me back without at least giving me a tour.”

Not feeling it, Urbana said, “This isn’t very adult of you, Wednesday.”

“I saw my opportunity and I took it,” she said.

“That doesn’t mean hiding in Urbana’s shoulder bag, risking bodily harm to yourself,” Jazz said.

“You could have suffocated,” Hellboy added to emphasize the danger.

“Yah, well, I didn’t. You still owe me a tour, Uncle Red,” Wednesday said.

Urbana could feel Casper getting intimidated and scared, and Urbana was feeling wabbly and darkness was creeping into the corners of her eyesight. So, before any more arguing could happen, Urbana said, “Everyone I would like you to meet Casper.”

She then introduced Casper to everyone else.

“And Abe will give you and Wednesday a tour of the HQ,” Urbana told Casper, “Won’t that be fun?”

Wednesday took Casper’s hands into her own and said, “Please say yes. I would love to get to know you and get to know what your undead life is like as a lich.”

“Really? I don’t scare you,” Casper asked her.

“No. I think you’re cool, not scary,” Wednesday said.

“Thanks. I think it would be nice to hang out with you then,” Casper said.

Hellboy and Jazz were about to argue with that point, but Urbana and Johann signaled them to be quiet.

“I’ll show you the research I’ve been working on then,” Abe said.

The fish man then lead the child lich and the goth girl out of the cafeteria. Then Urbana collapsed to her knees.

Jazz, Liz, Hellboy, and Johann went to her side. Urbana could hear their concerned questions, but it was muffled as she fought to stay conscious. She felt someone touch her back and she didn’t like that, so she swatted them away.

“Don’t touch me!... Just… don’t,” Urbana told Jazz, who was the one who touched her, and everyone else. Then she asked, “Can I have some coffee or something? Please?”

“I’ll get it,” Johann said as he went to go make a coffee for her.

Feeling a little more stable, Urbana slowly got back up on her feet, with Jazz freaking out the most out of everyone, then Urbana walked to the closest cafeteria table and collapsed in it.

One of the Ghostbusters had the electronic they were looking at, pointed at her, and it made annoying buzzing and beeping noises. Urbana was about to tell him off, but then Hellboy grabbed it with his stone hand and slammed it on the table.

“Do you mind,” He told him.

“Ah, right. Sorry,” the Ghostbuster man said, while Liz and Jazz sat on either side of Urbana.

The Ghostbuster, Ray he called himself, then introduced himself and his team mates to Urbana.

“Your energy ratings are quite fascinating,” Egon said, “You could help us boost our ghostly technological advancement just by studying you. Would you be interested in that?”

“No.”

“If it’s about money we can pay for your traveling expenses,” Peter said.

“No.”

“Think of all of the ghosts you’ll be helping us defeat if you helped us out,” Winston said.

“No.”

The four men were going to keep pestering Urbana about it, but then Hellboy told them no for her and they all backed off. Johann then came over with her coffee and started giving them a verbal report on what happened in the containment room and what he thought on how to proceed with the interrogation for both liches.

He told them that Jazz, Hellboy, and Himself would be enough to be able to handle the unnamed lich woman still in the containment room, but Casper was going to be a special case that’s going to require finesse, and that Wednesday and Urbana are going to play important roles in getting the child lich to tell them what they need.

Urbana understood why she was going to have to be with Casper more, but she couldn’t help but sigh at how tired she knows it’ll make her.

“I don’t like it,” Jazz said, “I know it’s just a kid, but I don’t want Wednesday being around him. It’s still a lich and he’s still dangerous.”

Urbana patted Jazz’s shoulder and said, “She’ll be fine. I’ll be there.”

“That is also a problem,” Jazz added, “That lich is draining you like Danny did to you.”

“Yah, but it’s slower. I can manage it,” Urbana said.

“Did you at least remember your metal gloves,” Jazz asked.

Urbana covered her face with her hands and said, “I forgot them. I didn’t even think about them.”

“We should send you home then, before you collapse from exhaustion,” Liz said, and Hellboy agreed.

“Then what about Casper. That poor boy is scared, he feels alone, and he’s been through a lot,” Urbana said, “I can’t leave him yet. At least, not until I can get him to trust you guys too.”

“Abe and I will interrogate him while you and Wednesday keep him calm and happy,” Liz said, “Give us a signal that you need a break and we’ll help you separate from him so you can recover.”

“Sounds like a good enough plan as any,” Urbana said.

“And what about us,” Peter asked, “Should we go home?”

“No,” Johann said, “You’ll stay here as an extra line of defense, incase either liches end up either turning for the worst or escaping.”

“Fine. But you better be still paying us for this,” Peter said.

On the first day, Urbana and Wednesday reintroducing Casper to Liz and Abe, explaining to him what their jobs are and who they mean to them. Then Wednesday and Urbana let Liz and Abe explain to Casper what their motive is and that they aren’t here to hurt him and are just wanting him to answer some questions. They started asking him simple questions like what his favorite color is and what season he likes and if he has a favorite game he likes to play. The whole time, Casper was holding on to Urbana for comfort as he answered their questions. Eventually Urbana had to take a break so, Liz and Abe told Casper that he and Wednesday could go play together.

“Do you need some coffee,” Abe asked her.

“No. I need a nap,” Urbana said.

“I’ll take you to my room so you can do that,” Liz said.

When Urbana woke up, she didn’t know what time it was, but she knew that she was hungry and thirsty, so she went to the cafeteria. The cafeteria was open but only a few people were in it, they all looked like they all got back from some mission that they just completed. Urbana didn’t bother to talk with them, only wanting to grab some cereal and orange juice. One of them however decided to walk up to Urbana. She was a red headed white woman, who has the body proportions of what a non-cartoon Jessica Rabbit would look like.

“Hey, Urbana,” She said.

“How do you know my name,” Urbana asked.

“It’s me. Scarlet,” she said, while pointing at herself.

Urbana shrugged at her.

Scarlet looked at her hands and then said, “Oh, right. You’re not used to seeing me like this.” Then she transformed into the horned, bat winged, red-white-black calico skinned, succubus demon that Urbana remembered from her vacation time at Hotel Transylvania.

Urbana’s face lit up at the sight of her and it made Starlet’s heart flutter. Urbana then motioned for her to sit down and she did as she transformed back into her human disguise.

“Does no one know you’re a demon or is this disguise just something to make the humans around you more comfortable,” Urbana asked.

“No, they know I’m a demon. It’s just for their comfort, despite how restricting it is to represent myself as only female,” Scarlet said.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Urbana said, “Besides that, how do you like being a B.P.R.D. agent?”

“I love it,” Scarlet said, “I didn’t realize how much I need a change in my life. Thank you for your suggestion.”

Urbana gave her a thumbs up. “I bet it makes Hellboy happy to not be the only demon now, huh,” Urbana said.

“No. No it doesn’t,” Scarlet said, sounding uneasy.

Urbana thought about it for a moment, then said, “Yah. I guess that sadly makes since…”

The two of them were silent for a minute.

“So, are you working here now?” Scarlet asked, hopeful.

Urbana told her about what she was doing at The Bureau.

Scarlet reached over the table and tucked a stray bit of hair behind Urbana’s ear, then said, “That must be why you seem so ill.”

Urbana could feel how cold her fingertips were, and it felt nice. Urbana grabbed her hand and placed it on her cheek. She didn’t realize she felt hot, was she getting sick?

While Urbana was contemplating her own health, Scarlet was frozen at the fact that their crush grabbed their hand and had it pressed to her face. They had no read on the situation at all; is she actively flirting with them, is this just her being platonically friendly? If only Urbana had some semblance of sexual attraction towards them, then she would be so much easier to read.

Hellboy coughed, grabbing both women’s attention. Urbana smiled and gave him a little wave while Scarlet took their hand back and looked down at their lap.

“She’s not bothering you, is she,” Hellboy asked Urbana.

“No. We were just catching up, actually,” Urbana told him, “She’s a friend.”

Scarlet felt her insides go all light and buttery at hearing Urbana calling them a friend.

“Really now,” He said as he glared at Scarlet.

“I guess, I should go and do my report then,” Scarlet said as she got up.

“Oh, wait,” Urbana said, “Do you have a cellphone?”

She said yes, so Urbana asked for it and she entered her cellphone number into their phone.

“There. Now we can talk whenever,” Urbana told Scarlet.

It took every ounce of demonic power for Scarlet not to squeal with excitement, as they tried to play it cool.

“Thanks,” Scarlet said, “I’ll see you around.” Then they went to do their report like they said they were going to do, but also go to their room so they could squeal over having Urbana’s phone number.

As Scarlet walked away from them, Urbana slapped Hellboy’s arm and said, “Don’t be rude to my friend like that.”

“She’s a Succubus. I don’t want her invading your dreams and eating your essence,” Hellboy said.

“Oh, I trust her not to do that to me,” Urbana said.

“And what about everyone else,” he asked.

“Well, they’ve worked at Dracula’s Hotel for a while, working with and for humans alongside other monsters and they’ve been there for a while, so I assume that, that requires some self-restraint,” she said.

“Mother’s friend Dracula, or a different Dracula,” Hellboy asked to clarify.

“Grandmama’s friend,” Urbana confirmed.

Hellboy sat across from her then said, “Then I guess I’ll start giving them the benefit of the doubt.”

“Thank you,” Urbana said. Then she saw that she got a text from Scarlet.

The next day, Liz and Abe were making progress with their questions, with Casper starting to warm up to Liz. However, Casper still wasn’t telling them exactly what they wanted to know, maybe because he wasn’t totally aware of what Rasputin was asking from him when he was being possessed by the lich lady, or maybe it was just because he’s a child. Either way, being interrogated still made him feel nervous and he needed to hold on to Urbana for comfort. Eventually, Urbana had to call a time out, so Casper got to go play with Wednesday, while Urbana got to have a breather.

Abe put a cold scaly hand over Urbana’s forehead as she leaned against the wall. Urbana grabbed his other hand and pressed his palms against her eyes.

“You feel feverish, Urbana,” Abe said.

“Maybe, but I’m not as hot as Liz,” she said. She let go of one of Abe’s hands to give Liz a mischievous smile and point a finger gun at her.

Liz rolled her eyes at Urbana then grabbed her hand and said, “Come on. Nap time for you.”

“I’m getting tired of taking naps,” Urbana said, “I want to walk around.”

“I could give you a tour of my room,” Abe offered.

“I bet you have like, all the books, so yes please,” Urbana said.

When Abe took her to his room, she wasn’t disappointed. His room was wall to wall, covered in books, with a little round table and two chairs set to one side and a giant fish tank covering the other side of the room. The fish tank had small alga eating fish and snails and shrimp crawling and swimming in the tank as bubbles rose from the bottom of it. There were posters, photos, and art taped to the outside of the tank with the art facing into the giant fish tank. Urbana found her drawing of him taped to the wall of his fish tank with all of the other art works.

“I love your room,” Urbana said, “It’s like a dream come true.”

“Thank you,” Abe said as he went over to a section of his collection then pulled a few books out, “These are some of my favorite to read.”

Urbana looked at the books he handed her. _The World’s Collection of Mythology 10th Edition_ by Wodan Raven, _History of the Trollhunters _by Dictatious Galadrigal, _A Translated Copy of, A Guide to Dragons _by Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III, translated by Barbara Sanguszko, and _A Collection of Stories on the War of the Mishipeshu and Thunderbird _by Janet Campbell Hale.

Urbana picked up the _History of the Trollhunters_ to see what it said, but it was written in trollish and she had no clue how to read it.

“I’ve heard through the grapevine that you’re learning to fight like a troll,” Abe said, “I’ve actually befriended a few on my solo missions. Met a troll named Blinkous once who gave me that book. We couldn’t talk for long since him and Kanjigar were having issues with a mischievous water sprite.”

“That sounds like a story,” Urbana said as she sat down at the little table, “You’ve got to tell me.”

He sat down in the other chair and proceeded to do so.

The next day Liz and Abe had finally made a breakthrough with Casper and he told them something important that was going to help them out. Urbana wasn’t listening though, as she was hanging on by a thread trying to stay conscious as long as possible without breaking down in front of Casper. Liz saw this and told Casper he could go hang out with Wednesday. Casper happily left the interrogation room and a few seconds later, Urbana fainted.

Urbana then woke up in a really large bed that wasn’t Liz’s room. Next to her, reading a book was the ghost of Trevor Bruttenholm.

“Hello, Mr. Trevor,” Urbana said to him, “Joy says hello.”

He gave her a little smile. “You should go back to sleep my Dear,” Trevor said, “That lich child is making you sick.”

Urbana got up and said, “I have to use the bathroom,” She looked around at the messy shelves of bobbles and books and photos. One photo grabbed her attention of having baby Hellboy being held in the arms of Trevor Bruttenhold with young looking Grandmama next to them with her hand on baby Hellboy’s shoulder, then she asked, “Is this Hellboy’s room?”

The old man nodded.

“Where--?”

He pointed out a door.

“Thanks.”

After going to the bathroom, Urbana saw in the bathroom mirror that she was wearing a cross that wasn’t hers.

When she got out, she asked, “Why was I wearing this?” Having already taken off the cross.

“Hellboy thought he could help you by blessing you with a prayer,” Trevor said.

“Doesn’t that only work for true believers or something,” Urbana asked as she went over to the baby picture that caught her eye and gently placed the necklace over the picture frame.

“You, who can see the dead, and look into the souls of demons, doesn’t believe in God,” Trevor asked, sounding slightly surprised.

“Well, I guess non-belief isn’t exactly right,” Urbana said as she got back into the impossibly big bed, “I guess it’s more that I just really hate God.”

Trevor closed his book then asked, “Now, why do you hate God?”

“Well for starters, God created Lucifer, you know if the bible is being accurate here, since it is a book written by man and not by God or any of the angles themselves, and God made Lucifer the way he is. God’s an all-powerful, all-knowing swirling mess of rainbows and space void and who knows what else, purposely created Lucifer. I know that Lucifer made his own slew of choices that makes me hate him too, but God still made the choice to make him. Unless God’s not as all-knowing as we are lead to believe, which I can forgive, mistakes happen and raising children is hard, but since he’s supposed to be all knowing, then why would he allow evil like that to be created,” Urbana rambled.

“I see,” Trevor said.

“And that’s just one of a million things that I don’t like about God,” Urbana said, “But I’m already getting lightheaded from how angry it’s making me.”

“Then please, rest,” Trevor said, “Then when you wake again, you should tell the lich child what he’s doing to you.”

Urbana was about to say something, but the door to Hellboy’s room was almost kicked open by Scarlet, with Jazz right behind her. Worry was etched all over Scarlet’s being with Jazz looking worried about what Scarlet would do to Urbana if the two of them were alone together. Urbana looked over at the chair the ghost of Trevor was sitting in, but he was gone. Only the book that he was reading was left behind.

Urbana stood before the interrogation room with Casper standing beside her, holding her hand. Liz and Abe were already inside, but they waited for them, knowing that Urbana needed a moment.

Urbana crouched down to Casper’s height, then asked, “What do you feel, when you hold on to me?”

“I don’t know,” Casper said.

“Here. Let go of me real quick,” Urbana said and he did, “Now close your eyes,” Casper did as she said, “Now. I want you to think about how you feel right now. Tell me how you feel.”

“I feel a little scared and a little lonely, but not as badly as I did before,” Casper said.

Urbana grabbed his hands then asked, “Now how do you feel?”

“I feel like I’m being wrapped up in a blanket… I feel safer,” Casper said as he opened his eyes.

“I can’t keep being that blanket for you,” Urbana said.

“I don’t understand,” Casper said.

“Being dead like you are, I know you can see my glow,” Urbana said.

It was true that Casper could see the comforting golden glow that she radiated, he could also see how it swirled around and down to him, making him happy to see it.

“It hurts to hold hands with you or when you want to sit on my lap or have a hug,” Urbana told him.

Casper then snatched his hands out of her grasp and said, “I’m sorry! I didn’t know! I—”

Urbana gently grasped his little hands and said, “Shh. Shh. Hey. I know that you didn’t know. I’m telling you this _so_ that you can know. I didn’t tell you at first because I know you needed that kind of comfort, and I’m telling you now because I’m at my limit for these sorts of casual touching. I’m not mad and I don’t want you to be confused about why I’m physically distancing myself from you. Okay?”

“Oh… Okay,” Casper said.

“I’ll still be with you when Liz and Abe ask you questions, we just won’t hold hands or hug anymore,” Urbana said.

He was silent for a minute, then he asked, “Can I have one more hug?”

“Of course,” Urbana said.

Urbana pulled Casper into a kind and gentle embrace, and she whispered, “You are kind, and you are brave, and you are sweet, even when you are afraid, you are still all of those things.”

Urbana let him hug her for a few minutes. When she started feeling dizzy was when she told him to stop, and he did.

“Okay. I’m ready,” Casper said.

That day was the most informative day for Abe and Liz as Casper bravely told them everything, he could possibly remember, whether he was prompted by questions or not. Urbana mostly felt sad for what Casper went through, since she didn’t have the context to know exactly how helpful his knowledge was. Eventually, Liz and Abe said that they could take a break now, since they wanted to compare notes with Johann, Jazz, and Hellboy.

Casper wanted to go play with Wednesday so, Urbana was left alone with her thoughts as she roamed around, thinking about taking a nap.

It was Urbana and Wednesday’s final day at The Bureau’s HQ. Urbana was looking over her belongings in Liz’s room while Scarlet helped her. Scarlet was in their demon form and was looking more masculine and built like a pro wrestler.

“Thanks for helping me, even though there’s not much to help with,” Urbana said.

“Of course. I’m happy to,” Scarlet said.

“Do you know what your next mission’s going to be,” she asked.

“Right now, I’m just on standby doing paperwork,” Scarlet said, “I’m sure something will come up in one of the meetings that will require my skills.”

“Well, good luck with that, and be careful when you do get a mission,” Urbana said, “I’d hate to see you get hurt.”

Scarlet’s insides felt all fluffy and buttery at hearing her say that. He started leaning towards her, wanting to give her a kiss, but the bedroom door burst open to reveal Wednesday.

“Urbana, I invited Casper to the family reunion,” she said.

“Oh wonderful,” Urbana said as she stepped away from Scarlet who had, in a panic, transformed themselves into their human female disguise, “I’m glad you two are become such good friends.”

“I love hearing his weird stories,” Wednesday said.

“And I love listening to her too,” Casper said, coming out from hiding behind the doorway.

“What will you be doing now that you don’t have to be here anymore,” Urbana asked Casper.

“I want to stick around,” Casper said, “They do a lot of things to help people, and I want to do that too.”

“You’ll be wonderful at it,” Urbana told him.

Casper beamed up at her.

“Are you ready to go,” Wednesday asked.

“Almost,” Urbana told her, “I’ll meet you at the landing pad.”

As they went on ahead, Urbana went back to Liz’s bed to pick up the last of her things while Scarlet backed away from Urbana, feeling embarrassed with herself, unbelieving of how little control she really has with herself around Urbana.

“Do you want to come too?” Urbana asked Scarlet.

“Come to what,” Scarlet asked.

“To the family reunion. We have it every Halloween. It’s an all day and night event,” Urbana said, “I’ll be singing for the live band during the night so if you come over in the morning, we could hang out then.”

“I would like that,” Scarlet said.

“Awesome, I’ll text you the address later,” Urbana told her.

Urbana was going to just walk out but then Scarlet said, “Don’t I get a hug?”

“Oh, you don’t want a hug from me,” Urbana said, “I haven’t showered for days and even Abe says I smell funky. I don’t want to subjugate you to that.”

“I assure you that I smell nothing funky about you,” Scarlet said insisting on getting a hug.

“Okay then,” Urbana said, happy to give and receive a hug.

“Abe’s a whiney bitch anyways,” Scarlet said.

Urbana pulled away from her gasping in surprise, then she scolded her saying, “Scarlet!”

They stopped hugging and Scarlet’s remark was, “Hey. I just call it like I see it.”

Urbana shook her head and rolled her eyes at her, then as she left, she said, “See you later.”

The helicopter landed on the front lawn of the Addams family mansion, dropping off Wednesday and Urbana, then it promptly took off. The rest of the Addams family, and some new people Urbana as never seen before, came out of the house to greet them, happy to see them both back home.

“Oh, you had Mom and Dad so worried,” Morticia said as Wednesday’s parents hugged her.

“I was completely fine,” Wednesday said.

“You’re grounded for a month,” Gomez said.

“That’s fair,” Wednesday said.

“You’re not to talk to Lydia or any of your friends outside of school and you are not to enter your room until you go to bed,” Morticia said.

“Nooooo!” Wednesday whined.

“We have Thing stationed in your room to make sure that you are actually using it to sleep instead of using it to hang out in, like you usually do,” Gomez added.

Wednesday made more whining noises as Grandmama checked Urbana over.

“You seem ill,” Grandmama said.

“I may be,” Urbana said.

“Well come on, Dear,” Grandmama said as she held her hand and patted it, “I’ll make you some tea and you’ll feel much better.”

“Aren’t you going to introduce me to our guests,” Urbana asked, as she was being pulled past them.

Four of them looked like seventeen-year old’s, while one looked like a little eleven-year-old, and they had a wrinkly old gray Chinese Shar-Pei sitting in front of them.

“Where did you come from,” The little eleven-year-old Chinese girl asked.

“Oh, I just had a thing I had to do at the B.P.R.D.,” Urbana told her.

“What’s that,” the seventeen-year-old black girl asked.

“They’re an organization that deals with the paranormal and magical,” the seventeen-year-old Chinese boy said.

“Oh? So you’ve heard of them,” Urbana said, “Thinking of joining them?”

“Naw, I’ve got my own stuff to deal with,” He said, as he smoothed back is black pointy hair with green frosted tips.

“I’m Urbana Des Moines,” she said, introducing herself.

“Jake Long,” He said, then he placed a hand on the little girl’s should and said, “This is Haley, my sister.”

“I’m Rose,” the blond, white girl said.

“Trixie Carter’s my name,” the black girl said.

“And you may call me Spud,” the white boy said, then he knelt down beside the wrinkly dog then said, “And this is our dog, Fu Dog.”

Fu Dog barked, and Urbana didn’t like it, its bark sounded fake.

“What are you kids doing out here without your parents, school started for you high schoolers like a week ago, right?” Urbana asked.

“We’re going on a cross country trip,” Rose said, “We got our parents’ permission, and we can take online classes while on the road.”

“I guess that’s true,” Urbana said, “Well, enjoy your trip. Sorry to interrupt whatever you five were doing.”

Then Urbana proceeded to let Grandmama drag her to the kitchen to fill her up with soothing tea.


	26. A War of the Ignored

When Urbana went back to working as a waitress at Olive Garden, she wasn’t surprised but only a little disappointed with Beetlejuice, when she found out that she got a write up for being rude to a customer. She also got complemented a lot about finally taking a shower and not smelling like death. Either way, Beetlejuice did make it seem like she was still in Westfield, and she knew what she was getting herself into when she asked him to cover for her. He got his cupcake’s filled with grasshoppers and Urbana got to keep her job.

Living with the gaggle of teens in the house over the last couple of weeks was okay. Whenever Urbana would do her training sessions with Gomez, Rose and Jake would be interested in and even participate in sparing and/or running the course. When they would run the course together, Jake and Rose would always beat her to the finish line, like they’ve been training all their lives, which made Urbana suspicious. Why would a bunch of normal teens, that aren’t in any kind of battling type sports or don’t live in any kind of dangerous environment, need to learn how to fight like they do.

Spud was an odd one, but that just made him family. He mostly hung out with Grandmama, as she would encourage his potato art sculptures. Urbana, as an artist, didn’t think his sculptures were well practiced enough, but she’s a 2D artist, not a 3D, so she couldn’t critique him much. She enjoyed playing chess with Spud herself. She would win every time, but every time Spud would always put her on the ropes, winning for Urbana actually felt cathartic to her whenever she would play with Spud, making it fun.

Trixie was a nice but very sassy young woman, and Urbana didn’t really know how to relate to her. Trixie liked talking about how hot boys were, and learning b-girl dances, and she was more clothes conscious than Urbana. It was fun for Urbana to listen to what she liked though, so she didn’t worry too much about the unrelatability she felt. Trixie most enjoyed being in Morticia’s company as Morticia would allow her to wear whatever clothes she wanted from her closet.

Urbana’s favorite guest, though she would never say that out loud, was little Haley, because she loved animated Disney movies. Haley even once self-proclaimed that she was a child of Disney, she loved all those cartoon movies so much. This made Urbana happy to hear, because the Addams family absolutely hates Disney. They’re fine with Urbana liking the animated movies, but even if you put fiery coals to their feet, they’d never watch it themselves. Which is why, whenever Haley and Urbana start singing a random Disney song together, the adults would be understanding, but everyone else would get sick of the songs after a few chords. Except for Red and Raven, they were just happy to hear music.

The only person, or “pet”, Urbana had a problem with, was Fu Dog. The pup gave Urbana bad vibes, and there were a lot of times that she’s seen him do stuff that was too human to be what a normal smart dog would be capable of doing. She would see him with a newspaper laying underneath him, near his head, it was always near his head. There would be times where he looks disheveled, like he was guilty of something, usually finding food that he shouldn’t have been able to get. Then there’s that stupid bark that he does, it sounds so fake, like he’s either out of practice or he never barked to begin with. Urbana’s aware that these are all just superficial clues, but she’s read Harry Potter and she doesn’t want a Peter Pettigrew incident on her hands.

Urbana was waiting at the end of the driveway as she watched Salem saunter up to her.

“Did you call me to apologize for leaving me in the basement,” Salem asked.

“No. You got in there by yourself, and you obviously got out by yourself,” Urbana said, “I actually need a favor.”

“I don’t do favors for free,” Salem said as he sat down in front of her and delicately started licking a front paw.

Urbana pulled a tin can of sardines from her pocket and presented it to him.

“Okay. I’m listening,” Salem said.

Urbana was so happy that it was a proper payment for him, she honestly didn’t think he’d take it. Urbana opened the tin can for him.

While he ate, she said, “I want you to shadow Fu Dog. Fu Dog’s the pet of these teenagers that are living with us and I’m starting to worry that he may be a wizard turned animal as punishment like you. It’s odd that a bunch of teenagers would want a little sister to be with them on their travels, so I think the dog has them kidnapped for some reason and they’re on the run from the magic police.”

Through a mouthful of sardines, Salem said, “That’s a serious accusation. Do you want me to ask my parole officer about any witches or wizards turned into…? What kind of dog is he?”

Urbana shrugged, “I don’t know. He’s really wrinkly, but no, not yet. I want to confirm my suspicions first. Fu Dog could just be a really weird dog, but I don’t want to say anything given the fact that a little over half the monsters and magical people are trying to keep themselves discreet and/or the normies just want to be ignorant. If I can help those kids out without outing the magical and monster world, that’d be great.”

Finishing off the sardines, Salem said, “Alright. I can do that. Now lift me up. I don’t feel like walking anymore.”

Urbana rolled her eyes, but she did as she was told.

When Urbana got back from school, Salem was in her room with Gizmo lightly gnawing on his tail.

“Could you get him off of me please,” Salem asked, sounding defeated.

Urbana did, then she sat down on her bed and asked, “So, what did you learn?”

“Well, you were only right about one thing, Fu Dog can talk and walk on two legs and hold stuff like a cup of coffee, like you can as a human, but he’s definitely not a kidnapper, or a witch/wizard turned into an animal as punishment. He’s just a magic talking dog,” Salem said.

Urbana breathed a sigh of relief, “Oh thank goodness. I’m so glad he’s not a Peter Pettigrew.”

“There’s something else,” Salem said.

“What?”

“That Jake boy and his little sister, I saw them turn into dragons,” Salem said.

“Wow. I didn’t know those types of people still existed,” Urbana said.

“They’re categorized as an endangered people in magic circles,” Salem said, “Primarily hunted for their dragon side because pure dragons have gone extinct so long ago. Whatever their reasons for being here, they must be in some sort of danger.”

“…Okay. Thank you, Salem. Do you need a ride back home?” Urbana asked him.

“Naw, I’m just going to spend the night then go back in the morning, maybe I’ll go hunting, who knows,” Salem said. Then he yawned, then curled into a ball on the floor.

Taking Gizmo with her, Urbana tiptoed out of her room to go speak with Fester, Gomez, Morticia, and Grandmama. Urbana found them in the tearoom, with Fester and Gomez playing chess and Grandmama and Morticia talking with each other about Raven and Red.

“I’d like to announce something,” Urbana said.

Everyone turned to her.

“I’m going to tell our guests that I can see ghosts,” Urbana said.

“Oh, you are,” Morticia said, “That’s so daring of you. What’s your reason?”

“I’ve learned a secret about them that doesn’t seem right for me to know,” Urbana said.

“Is this about Salem following them around,” Grandmama asked.

“I got a bit suspicious as to why they were here,” Urbana said, starting to feel guilty for spying on them.

“I see. Good thinking,” Gomez said.

“But they’re just children, you shouldn’t have done that,” Fester added.

“Which is why I’m going to tell them my secret,” Urbana said.

“Well, don’t worry about doing it alone,” Fester said as he stood up, “If you’re going to tell them that you can see ghosts, then I’m going to tell them I’m transgender.”

“Then I’ll tell them I’m half witch,” Grandmama said. 

“And I’ll tell them I’m supernaturally empathic,” Morticia added.

“I’ll be the support,” Gomez said.

“I appreciate you guys,” Urbana said, “I just want you all to know that.”

Fester pulled her into a hug and said, “We appreciate you too,” Then he let go and said, “Let’s go find those yahoos.”

Urbana and the other adults gathered their guests into the living room and Urbana was petting Gizmo in her arms for her own comfort. It felt weird directly telling someone about her ghost sight. She hasn’t done that since she was little.

“You five and your dog have been living here for a couple of weeks now,” Grandmama said, “So we have an announcement we’d like to tell you. Urbana?”

“I’m going first,” Urbana said as she stepped forward, she hesitated for a moment then said, “Sorry. Um. What I want to say to you all is that, I can see ghosts, to put it simply.”

“Oh, neat. Just when I think you can’t get any cooler,” Spud said.

“I’d also like to apologize to Fu Dog,” Urbana said as she knelt down before the Chinese Shar-Pei, “I thought you were a Peter Pettigrew villain, but I know better now.”

Urbana noticed that Fu Dog and Jake gave each other a side eye glance as she stood back up.

Fester, Morticia, and Grandmama then all took turns telling their guests about themselves.

“Why are you telling us this,” Trixie asked.

“Urbana,” Morticia said.

“Oh, um, well, you see,” Urbana said, “You know that black cat that’s been following you around, he’s actually a wizard that was turned into a cat as punishment and I asked him to follow you guys around so I know things that I don’t know if all of you kids know about.”

“Why I aught a, where is he,” Fu Dog said as he stood up on his back paws then punched one fist into his other paw, “I went easy on him for ruining my breakfast because I thought he was just a normal cat, but now I’m going to throttle him.”

“What did Salem do,” Gomez asked, not at all fazed by the fact that the dog is standing up like a normal human being and speaking like one too.

“He hacked a greasy hairball into my eggs and bacon,” Fu Dog said.

“I don’t feel comfortable telling you if you’re literally going to throttle him,” Urbana said.

“So wait, hold on, do you know. About us,” Jake asked as he motioned between himself and his little sister.

“I mean, do you _want_ to talk about that, or avoid it until you’re ready,” Urbana asked.

Haley looked up at her big brother and said, “I want her to know, Jake. They should all know.”

Jake then looked over to his friends and girlfriend and they all shrugged at him, basically giving him the choice to say what he wants.

“Alright,” Jake said, “Haley and I have duel energies within us, one is our human chi, the energy that allows us to be human, the other is our Dragon chi, the energy that allows us to transform into dragons.”

Flames then ingulfed Haley and before the five adults stood a purple dragon, taller than what Haley’s human form was, making her taller than her human brother, and her dragon form remined Urbana of the Shussebora. A Japanese dragon that starts off as a snail in the mountains but turns into a large dragon that lives in the ocean after a few thousand years.

“Your scales look lovely, Dear,” Grandmama said.

“Thank you,” Haley said.

“My job in New York was to help protect the other magical creatures that lived there, so that the humans and magical creatures don’t overlap in a way that could damage either side,” Jake said.

“Was?” Urbana asked.

Fu Dog went up to Jake and rested his head on his lap. Haley transformed back into her human form and curled her knees to her chest. Everyone else were either looking at their hands or were giving each other comforting pats.

“What happened,” Fester asked.

“Have you heard about the gang fights between the Huntsclan and the Foot Clan,” Rose asked them.

Urbana and the other adults nodded their head.

“It’s more out of control than any outsiders know,” Rose said, “It’s an all-out war between the two clans, one using magic, and the other using strange alien technology.”

“We ended up in the crossfire,” Trixie said.

“The Huntsclan found out where we lived,” Spud said.

“And we got separated from our parents,” Rose said.

“New York’s not safe for people like us, or for anyone anymore,” Jake said, “I failed my job.”

“Now hold on,” Gomez said, “If a war is truly going on in New York like you’re saying, then you mustn’t think in absolutes like that. It’s understandable if you have survivor’s guilt, but being able to survive isn’t something you have to feel guilty about, because you fight the good fight by living another day, and living another day means another chance to do your best. Okay?”

Fu Dog and the five kids gave Gomez a small smile, but they still looked discouraged.

“If we had known we wouldn’t have charged you for your rooms,” Morticia said, “From now on you all are staying for free.”

“You can do that,” Trixie said, surprised.

“We were just using your money to buy extra food anyway,” Grandmama said, “but you can save your money for whatever you think you need it for.”

“Thank you,” Haley said.

Grandmama then started to leave the living room, saying, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some special phone calls to make.”

Then she was gone.

“If you also have any magical buddies that you’re able to contact, you can bring them here,” Fester said, “We have plenty of room.”

“Thank you,” Jake said, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“You can ask me to be an informant,” Urbana said, “Most people can’t see the dead nor do they have the proper technology to see or get them. I’ll be the perfect spy master.”

“That’d be really helpful,” Rose said, “Thank you.”

“Aren’t you friends with an alien family,” Gomez asked Urbana.

“Oh! You’re right. I am,” Urbana said as she left for her room, “I’m going to go call him right now. He’s only an hour away from New York, maybe he’s seen something.”

# # #

A few days later, Jake informed the Addams family and Urbana that he’s managed to make contact with an Elisa Maza, a human police officer in New York who knows and understands what is really going on over there. She’s bringing over some gargoyles to keep them safe during the day since the Foot Clan, she assumes, has been destroying gargoyle statues throughout the city.

It was a warm September night, one of the last, as Urbana, Wednesday, Pugsley, Trixie, and Spud were helping out Lurch clean up the mansion for their new guests. While they were cleaning, Urbana was on the phone with Sam, who was telling her about their failed attempt to capture Vlad.

Urbana heard someone running towards her, and it was Pugsley.

“They’re here,” He said.

Urbana nodded at him then she said, “Sorry that the mission failed Sam. You can tell me more later. I’ve got some guests to help welcome.”

“Alright, stay safe,” Sam said.

Urbana followed Pugsley down the stairs with broom in hand. At the entrance hall, Morticia, Gomez, Jake and Rose had already welcomed in Elisa Maza, who had dyed blue hair, wearing a red leather jacket over a black t-shirt, and regular blue jeans. Beside the police officer stood one of the gargoyles. He’s olive green, bald, and has wings like a flying squirl, and his wings are pierced for him to be able to wear a belt to hold up his black loincloth.

“Thank you for taking my clan in,” Elisa said.

“It’s no trouble at all,” Morticia said, “We’re just sad that we’re filling up our home this way.”

Pugsley went up to the crouching gargoyle and said, “I’m Pugsley. What’s your name?”

“Lexington, but you can call me Lex for short,” he said.

Pugsley grabbed his clawed hand and said, “Come on, I’ll show you to your room.”

“We get our own rooms,” Lex said in surprise as he was dragged upstairs.

“Is that all of them,” Urbana asked.

“No. Goliath and Broadway are helping Angela inside,” Elisa said.

“Oh, no is she hurt,” Urbana asked.

Elisa laughed, then said, “No. She’s just pregnant.”

Speaking of which, the front door opened to an annoyed looking gargoyle woman with lavender skin and black hair, her stomach rotund like she had a basketball stuffed under her simple cloth dress. A tall, broad shouldered, and intimidating looking gargoyle also with lavender skin and black hair hovered behind her with a teal skinned, heavy set gargoyle with a line of small spikes on the top of his head that went down the back of his head. The teal gargoyle was holding onto the female, making sure she was watching her footing.

“Enough, enough,” she said as she pulled away from the teal gargoyle.

“Don’t overexert yourself Angela,” the teal gargoyle said.

“I’m pregnant, not helpless Broadway,” she said.

Then she saw Urbana and she gave Angela a small smile and a wave.

Angela went straight up to Urbana and placed her clawed hands on her shoulders and said, “It’s so good to see a human female that looks to be my age.”

“I hope you made it here safely,” Urbana asked her.

“We had a safe travel,” Angela confirmed.

“I’m Urbana by the way,” she said as she took a step back to shake Angela’s hand.

Angela shook her hand and said, “It’s a pleasure.”

Urbana turned to the teal gargoyle and said, “You’re Broadway, right?” When he nodded Urbana then said, “Come on. I’ll show you and your wife to your room.”

“We get our own room,” Broadway asked surprised as he followed them up the stairs.

Urbana sat the broom she was holding against the railing of the stairs. While they were walking away, Urbana heard Elisa ask Goliath where Brooklyn, Hudson, and Bronx were, with Goliath saying that they were inspecting the perimeter.

After showing the couple to their room, Urbana left them to go back downstairs. Spud, Trixie, and Haley were in the entrance hall circling Goliath and Elisa, berating them with questions.

“Have you found any trace of our parents,” Haley asked.

“Or Grandpa Shi,” Spud asked.

“When do you think we’ll be allowed to go home,” Trixie asked.

“What can you tell us about the clan war,” Jake asked.

“Is my sister okay,” Rose asked.

“Guys, guys,” Gomez said, “Breath and let them breath.”

Urbana went up to stand behind Haley to place her hands on her shoulders. Haley then grabbed Urbana’s fingers to comfort herself.

“I understand that you’re scared, during these uncertain times, and I’m sorry that I don’t have all of the answers for you,” Elisa said, “My brother, Derek, and I are working our hardest to find your families. That’s all I can say right now.”

Goliath placed a comforting wing around Elisa’s shoulders and said, “Until then, we can gather information of our own. Like learning what type of weapons, the Foot Clan is using and if I’m right, your friend,” Goliath motioned to Urbana, “is looking into that?”

Urbana nodded her head.

“And I’m sure that the Addams clan are doing their best to not only make us all comfortable but also help us in our endeavors,” Goliath added.

“Of course,” Morticia said.

The front door opened and in ran a dog like gargoyle, making both Haley and Urbana awe at it as he sniffed the area, then he ran for the kitchen. The door opened wider as a potbellied, tan gargoyle with white hair and one blind eye walked in, he looked grandpa old, but he was wearing a leather armor like shirt with his loincloth, and a large knife was at his belt. Behind him came a lanky looking gargoyle with red skin, two slender horns protruding from his forehead with a mane of white hair, and he was also only wearing a loincloth.

“This is a nice, isolated area for being so close to a town,” the old man gargoyle said.

“It reminds me of Castle Wyvern, only more woody, less rocky,” the red gargoyle said as he closed the door behind himself.

“Thank you,” Gomez said.

Introductions were made and Urbana learned that the old gargoyle’s name was Hudson, that the red gargoyle’s name was Brooklyn, and the dog gargoyle’s name was Bronx.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Urbana said as she shook Hudson’s clawed hand.

“Yes. Thank you for your hospitality,” Hudson said, “Now, where do you keep your tv. I would like to see what the news has to say about today.”

Urbana pointed him in the direction of the living room and told him where they usually keep the remote. Then she went to shake Brooklyn’s hand.

“It’s nice to meet you too,” Urbana told him.

Brooklyn gave her a couple of sniffs as they shook hands, and Urbana wasn’t exactly sure why.

“You smell like sun-soaked stones by a riverbed,” Brooklyn said.

“Oh, what a lovely description,” Urbana said as they stopped shaking hands, “Thank you. I might steal that for one of my stories.”

“Sure,” Brooklyn said as he ruffled his hair.

“I better get going,” Elisa said.

“Oh, why not stay for dinner, Dear,” Morticia asked.

“Yes, please stay for a while longer,” Goliath said.

“I’m sorry Big Guy. Duty calls,” Elisa said, then she pulled him down to her height and kissed him on the lips then she said, “I promise to call you every night.”

“I know,” He said, “Just be careful.”

“Always,” Elisa said before she walked out the door.

Rose, Jake, Haley, Spud, and Trixie scattered to do their own thing while Morticia and Gomez went to the kitchen to help out Grandmama. Goliath walked outside to watch Elisa drive off. So Urbana was left alone with Brooklyn.

“Come on. I’ll show you to your room before we have dinner,” Urbana told him.

“We get our own rooms,” Brooklyn said, sounding just as surprised as Broadway and Lex did before him. It made Urbana laugh.

“What?”

“Nothing, it’s nothing,” Urbana said with a smile on her face as she led him to his room, “It’s just that you and your brothers are all so cute.”

“I’m not cute, I’m a gargoyle,” He said then he roared. It just made Urbana laugh harder.

“Adorable,” Urbana told him.

# # #

Despite the fact that there were now thirteen guests living in the Addams family mansion, it didn’t feel all that crowded to Urbana since the mansion is so big. There’s also the fact that the Manhattan Clan, as they call themselves, turn to stone during the day then when the sun sets, they go back to their fleshy selves. Urbana figured, that if humans weren’t in the equation, gargoyles turning to stone would actually be a pretty beneficial way of survival, because, most large predators hunt during the day, and what animal is going to bother messing with a bunch of weird stone figures.

The only thing that’s changed is that since there are so many people, instead of eating in the kitchen like usual, everyone has moved to the large dining room where they used to hold their monthly séances before the whole Vlad situation.

The whole dining room was abuzz with people eating breakfast/dinner food and talking about their day and what they’re going to do during the night. Urbana was seated between Trixie and Brooklyn.

“So, have you ever kissed anyone,” Trixie asked Urbana.

“I have, but are you talking about a certain type of kiss, or are you talking about kissing in general,” Urbana asked.

“Do humans have more than one type of kiss,” Brooklyn asked.

“I certainly do,” Urbana told him.

“Have you kissed anyone romantically,” Trixie asked.

“Ninguno?” She looked to Fester, who was sitting in front of her, to make sure she said that right. He gave her a thumbs up. “Ninguno.” Urbana said more confidently. Trixie stared at her, so Urbana repeated herself in English, “None.”

“Is there anyone you wish to kiss romantically,” Trixie asked.

“Not romantically, per say,” Urbana said, “More like a rebellious kiss.”

“Oh, now we’re getting somewhere,” Trixie said, “Who?”

“The personification of fear itself,” Urbana said, she had a determined devilish look in her eyes when she said it too.

“What?” Trixie said.

Brooklyn was surprised too.

“Whoo! You do that,” Fester said.

“Why would you want to kiss that,” Brooklyn asked, confused.

“Well, what is a kiss but the signature of acceptance,” Urbana said, “Fear is a thing we all feel, and it can be a valuable tool, but it can also ruin your mind and soul, so I think kissing the personification of fear would be a rebellious act of acceptance.”

“Well damn,” Trixie said, “Now I want to kiss the personification of fear.”

This made Urbana laugh.

The conversation was kept light as everyone ate, since no one wanted to think much about what was going on in New York or think about what pain their loved ones may be in.

# # #

Urbana drove up to the mansion after a long day of work, only to find that the lights were out. Even the lights on the seventh floor, where the gargoyles are living, are off too. Which is odd since they’d be doing different things requiring light.

When Urbana opened the front door, she could hear Raven and Red crying in the kitchen, and the kitchen was softly glowing with candlelight.

When Urbana went to the kitchen to see Grandmama, Fester, Morticia, Gomez, Goliath, Brooklyn, Hudson, and Lurch in it.

“Hello Dear,” Gomez said over the crying babies, “How was work?”

“It was fine,” Urbana said, “Where’s everyone else?”

“The kids are playing flashlight tag in the woods,” Grandmama said.

“Angela and Broadway are having a leisure stroll around the lake.” Brooklyn said.

“And Bronx and Fu Dog are probably taking a nap together,” Fester said.

“Why are Raven and Red crying,” Urbana asked.

“We honestly don’t know,” Morticia said, sounding tired.

“They’re not hungry, they’re not thirsty, they don’t need their diaper changed,” Gomez said, “We’ve concluded that they’re afraid of the dark.”

“But you have candles,” Urbana said.

“We know,” Morticia said, “But their little eyes are closed so tight from crying we think they haven’t noticed.”

Urbana put her purse on the kitchen table. Then she took a deep breath as she brought her right hand to her chest, and held her stomach with her left hand, then she breathed out and extended her right hand outward, then she brought her hand back to her chest when she breathed in deep again. She did this three times before a baseball sized ball of light came out of her chest like a bubble. Then she pulled out another one. They illuminated with golden, warm light as she placed each spirit ball into the infants grasps. Red and Raven stopped crying instantly as they stared at the light while they gnawed on it.

“Thank you,” Gomez said.

“You’re getting better at that,” Grandmama said.

“Thank you,” Urbana said, proud of her hard work.

“Are you a witch,” Goliath asked.

“No,” Urbana said, confidently.

“What are you then,” Hudson asked.

“Human, I hope,” Urbana said, “This is just the more complicated side of my ghostly abilities.”

“There’s leftovers in the fridge,” Grandmama said.

“Thank you,” Urbana said. She then grabbed a plate, filled it with cold food, then left the kitchen saying, “Have a good night. I’m going to do my homework.”

The power came back on a few hours later.

# # #

Urbana was in the living room with Haley and Fu Dog, watching Frozen, one of Urbana’s favorite movies, when someone knocked on the front door. Urbana got up to answer the door, opening it, she saw Sabrina holding a couple of boxes of clothes. She stood aside to let her in.

“What brings you here,” Urbana asked as she closed the door.

“Afternoon,” Sabrina greeted her, “I’m just dropping off Aunt Hilda’s clothes that she made for your guests.” She then dropped the boxes on the floor.

“Oh, that’s great, thank you,” Urbana said as she opened one of the boxes to look through them. They all looked pretty generic but easily customizable.

“How is it going here anyway,” Sabrina asked.

“As good as one can expect,” Urbana said, “Elisa’s off doing cop things, doing dangerous who-knows-what’s, and Goliath is always in proximity of a land line phone, whenever he wakes up, until Elisa calls him. The kids are worried sick for their families, and news says that New York’s not safe at night, well, not as safe as it was before. Steven, my friend, and his family are helping us identify the types of tools the Foot Clan is using, while Grandmama is using her connections to try and figure out what tools the Huntsclan are using. It’s all slow and worrisome and tiring.”

“Sounds like it,” Sabrina said.

“So how’s school,” Urbana asked her.

“I’m captain of my cheerleading squad now,” she said.

“Congratulations,” Urbana told her, “I’ve managed to translate more of Bubble’s diary, and he talks about “Corporeal Formation”. What I’ve learned is that I can temporarily make a ghost solid and visible like they were living again.”

“Oh that’s cool,” Sabrina said.

“Yah, but I’ve done this “Corporeal Formation” thing before. What’s different is that he has a ritual for it. I don’t know exactly how different it is from the way I do it, but I’m going to find out soon,” Urbana said.

“Neat,” Sabrina sad.

Haley then came out of the living room, wondering what’s taking Urbana so long, “Oh! Hello! Do you want to stay with us and watch Frozen 2 after Frozen is over?”

“No. I actually better get going,” Sabrina said, “I’ve got friends to meet up with. Maybe some other time.”

# # #

Urbana was face timing with Tucker and Peridot on her computer in her room on her bed, with Lex leaning over her shoulder, as a tech expert himself. Peridot was presenting pictures from her visor robonoids that have captured where the Foot Clan and Huntsclan have been fighting the most in New York.

“On this close up of a foot solider, you can see their cannon-like weapon has shattered gems ingrained into its human made design,” Peridot stated.

“I wouldn’t call that human,” Tucker said, and Urbana agreed.

“Granted, it doesn’t look exactly like how a human would create a cannon,” Peridot said.

“No, I think he means that the cannon weapon looks more like a gun for a giant,” Lex said, “See the trigger that the foot shoulder is pulling back, it’s built exactly like a gun is supposed to be handled, but it’s much too big.”

“How many alien technologies do you think they have,” Urbana asked.

“Hard to say,” Peridot said, “There are thousands of aliens in this galaxy and less than half of them are capable of space travel, then there’s all of the different trade routes. Since humans as a whole are still grounded, so to speak, it all depends on which aliens have accidentally or purposely come here to earth.”

Urbana felt tired from the mere idea of having to deal with other aliens, outside of Steven’s family and friends.

“I would love to see some strange aliens,” Lex said, “Like the ones from that movie _Alien_. It’d be fascinating.”

Tucker and Urbana cringed at the idea of the alien form _Alien_ being real.

“A creature like the alien is not very practical nor is it possible,” Peridot said.

“Awe,” Lex said.

“How many space fairing giants are there,” Tucker asked.

“Enough to take a few days to really comb through Homeworld’s library of information,” Peridot said, “We’ll need to get more specific.”

“Will you E-mail us the photo’s you took,” Lex asked, “I’d like to examine them.”

“Considerate it already done,” Peridot said as she adjusted her visor.

“Well, keep up the good work, Peridot,” Urbana said, “and thank you for your consultation Tucker.”

Peridot nodded her head in acknowledgment, while Tucker said, “Of course. With all this chaos going on, “I’m sure Vlad and any other ghost that are over there are taking advantage of the situation.”

“But the Ghostbuster’s live in New York. They’ll protect it,” Lex said.

Tucker scoffed then said, “Listen they care more about their bottom line than the safety of New York. I won’t hold my breath on them.”

The three of them hung up and Lex shuffled off her bed, looking mope-y, while Urbana got up to stretch.

“Do you think the Ghostbuster’s are only in the job for the money,” Lex asked her.

“I mean, it’s definitely their motivator, but I’m sure when the chips are down, they’ll chose to do the right thing,” Urbana said.

Lex gave Urbana a small smile.

Urbana then handed him her laptop and said, “Now get out of here. I want to change into my night clothes.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” Lex said as he scurried out and closed the door behind him.


	27. Halloween Family Reunion Part 3

It was the first of October and Urbana had a day off from work, so she was on the front lawn, being trained by Gomez with the shéng biāo, rope dart, and the sanjiegun, large nunchaku like bo staff, with Jake and Rose. When Wednesday and Pugsley got back from school, Haley, and the two siblings wanted to join in, so they were battling each other on the side lines. Rose was in an old navy-blue ninja outfit that Fester found in the attic for her, when she told the family of her origins with the Huntsclan. Jake was in his dragon form. He looked like your typical British depiction of a dragon, with red scales, a yellow underbelly, and his black and green spikey hair were ridge scales going down from the top of his head to the tip of his tail.

Rose and Jake were teamed up against Urbana, Jake using his dragon abilities and Rose using a naginata, a bo staff with a blade at the end of it, while Gomez supervised, making sure no one would get seriously hurt. While also holding one of Urbana’s weapons until he would yell, trade, and Urbana would quickly switch out the weapon she was using. This was to make sure she got used to sudden changes in battle and practiced her adaptability. Urbana was fine with this, in fact, it was fun in her opinion.

As the couple duo fought against Urbana, everyone heard a car rolling up the driveway. Jake and Haley transformed back into their human selves and Rose suddenly disappeared. As the car came into view, Urbana knew that it was her Aunt Jane. After she had parked and was out of the car, Urbana ran up to her Aunt and embraced her, picking her up and spinning her around.

“Whoa! Why are you so strong?” Jane asked as she was being spun around.

She set her Aunt down and said, “It’s the strength of my love for you, Aunt Jane.”

“Awe!” She cooed then she gave her niece a kiss on her forehead.

Jake gagged as he walked up to them and said, “Is that really how you talk to your Aunt.”

“Not all the time, but I couldn’t resist,” Urbana said.

“Is this Jake,” Jane asked.

Urbana nodded.

Jane took his hand and shook it, saying, “I may not be like you or my niece, but I’ll be your ally, if you’ll have me?”

“Thank you,” Jake said, “We need all the help we can get.”

“Do you need any help carrying your luggage,” Rose asked, suddenly reappearing in her normal attire on Urbana’s left.

“Oh, thank you, Dear,” Jane said, “I would appreciate that.”

Jake, Rose, and Urbana helped carry Jane’s luggage inside, while Haley, Wednesday, and Pugsley continued to battle play with each other, and Gomez and Jane were talking about random adult stuff.

Once Jane was situated in Lurch’s room, and the two adults had some time to kiss each other lovingly, Urbana introduced her Aunt to the rest of the teenage gang and Fu Dog.

“Awe! What a cute doggie,” Jane said as she went to pet him.

Fu Dog slapped away her hand and said, “You couldn’t pay me enough to touch this.”

Urbana could almost hear the glass shattering in her Aunt’s mind, with the way her face looked.

“Fu Dog! Be nice,” Trixie said.

“No. No. It’s fine,” Jane said, “I should have asked first.”

“Thanks for the presents,” Spud said as he was already eating the candy that Jane bought for them.

“Of course, Spud,” Jane said, “Like I said. So long as I’m here, I’m here to help... And you know what, even when I’m not here, I’m sure I can help even then.”

“Um, do you like Disney movies,” Haley asked Jane.

“No,” she said, “But my little brother does. Speaking of which, I have something for you Urbana.”

Jane told her niece that there was a package for her in the back of her trunk. Urbana went to get it and opened it on the living room floor with everyone in the house. Inside were all of her old sketchbooks and diaries and sitting on top of it all was a note from her father.

_I was looking through these and I thought you might want them._

_I hope you’re doing good._

Urbana pocketed the note, then closed the cardboard box, then said, “I’m going to wait until everyone wakes up. It’ll be fun to look through these with everyone.”

“Ah, yes,” Jane said, “I can’t wait to meet my first gargoyles.”

The sun had set, and the Manhattan Clan was out and about, and Urbana introduced her Aunt to them.

“It is nice to meet, Urbana’s clan members,” Goliath said as he shook her hand, “She is a good person.”

“Yes, her parents did a good job,” Jane agreed.

“Thanks for the fun food,” Angela said, “I’ve been craving sweets like these for a while now.”

“Oh, of course,” Jane said, “and if you guys need any help from me, I’ll always be willing.”

“Alright, who wants to look at my childhood stuff,” Urbana asked.

And some of them did.

# # #

Urbana just got back home from school to find her Aunt Jane helping Morticia feeding Red and Raven in the kitchen.

“Oh, good. You’re home,” Jane said, “I have a question.”

“I may have an answer,” she said.

“What are we going to do with the ghost barrier on Halloween,” Jane asked, “Half of the guests are ghosts, but we don’t want to risk your life.”

“I thought Morticia already told you what we were going to do,” Urbana said.

Morticia shook her head, saying, “We’re leaving that decision up to you.”

Urbana was stunned, she thought the answer was clear, “We’re going to lower the barrier, of course.”

“But what about the ghosts that are after you,” Jane asked, “What about Vlad?”

“Aunt Jane, relax,” Urbana said, “I haven’t had any major dealings with ghosts since the summer, and Beetlejuice being around has been a great deterrent _and _Vlad almost got captured by the Fenton’s so he’s disheveled and probably too busy looking for a new base to worry about capturing me at the time being. It’ll be fine.”

Red smacked the little plastic spoon out of Jane’s grasp, spilling mashed peas everywhere.

“See! It’s a bad sign,” Jane declared.

Urbana gave her Aunt a disbelieving look, then she picked up the spoon and washed it off in the sink then gave it back to Jane.

“I’m serious, Aunt Jane, it’ll be fine. There’s not an idiot dead enough to crash the party,” Urbana said.

“Okay,” Jane said, reluctantly accepting Urbana’s reassurance.

# # #

It was the day of Halloween, and the Addams family turned off its ghost barrier, Reta and her little ghost gang were relieved that they were finally able to reunite with each other and go about their mischievous ways.

Urbana was then immediately tackled into a hug by Beetlejuice.

“It feels like forever since I’ve been allowed in here,” he said, while rubbing his scratchy five o’clock shadow against her face.

“You’re six hundred years dead,” Urbana said as she pushed his face off of her’s, “How is a few months a forever for you?”

Beetlejuice only shrugged after he stopped hugging her, then he asked, “Are you ready for our duet tonight?”

“More than ready,” Urbana said as the Deetz’s drove up the driveway and parked by it.

Wednesday came out of the mansion in her best sleek backless, black and white dress, to go greet Lydia, who was in her best poufy shoulder-less, black and purple dress. The two girls gave each other a quick peck on the lips, then Wednesday lead Lydia inside to show off the spooky decorations.

“It always warms my heart to see those two together,” Delia Deetz, Lydia’s stepmother said as the rest of the family got out of the car. Barbara Maitland was holding a medium sized box in her ghostly grasp.

“I couldn’t agree more,” Adam Maitland said, despite the fact that he knew that the two adults couldn’t hear him.

Urbana walked up to them and said, “Thank you for coming. Not everything is set up yet, but we have drinks ready.”

“Thank you,” Charles Deetz said, “We actually brought some supplies over to help your guests, like food, and extra blankets that they can keep.”

“I also bought them some long-distance walkie-talkies,” Delia said.

“Oh, thank you,” Urbana said as she took the box from Barbara, “Jake, his friends, and the Manhattan Clan will appreciate this.”

“We’ll help you finish the decorations,” Barbara said as she and her husband floated ahead into the mansion with everyone else following behind.

Once Urbana had given the care package to Jake, she grabbed some decorations and went back outside, with Beetlejuice helping her. After she was halfway done with decorating the outside, she heard another car roll up, and it was Steven’s Dondai Supremo, parking next to the Deetz’s car. Urbana raced to the car to give Steven a bear hug, but out of the driver seat side of the car, stepped Stevonnie. She’s never met Stevonnie before and it made Urbana freeze. Out of the back of Steven’s Dondai Supremo were all of the Crystal Gems, Pearl, Bismuth, Amethyst, Garnet, Peridot, and Lapis. Spilling out of the car like clowns. With Greg coming out of the passenger side of the car.

“Swanky digs you got here, Kid,” Greg said to Urbana.

“Thank you,” Urbana said. Then she told them what they could do to help finish setting up the party and the Gems and Greg scattered to do what they could.

“I’ll help you finish decorate the front lawn,” Stevonnie said.

“Thanks,” Urbana told them.

While they were finishing up the front lawn together Urbana said, “I’m glad that Connie was able to come, was it last minute?”

“No, she planned on visiting around this time for weeks now,” Stevonnie said, “She—We—I have a question to ask of you, actually.”

“Oh, what do you need,” Urbana asked, “Need me to help clear out a haunted house or something?”

“No. It’s more like, I want to see what you see in the haunted house,” Stevonnie said, then asked, “Will you fuse with me?”

“Right now?”

“Well, no, just whenever you want,” Stevonnie said.

“I don’t know. I know Steven’s a diamond, but I don’t want to put stress on him by having two humans fused into him,” Urbana said, “What if something bad happens to him?”

“I’ve fussed with Lars as Stevonnie once,” Stevonnie said, “and we were fine. I’m sure it’ll be fine with you too.”

“Then, I’m just going to say no,” Urbana said, “I just don’t feel very sure about the idea.”

“That’s fine,” Stevonnie said.

“Besides, you’ll be able to see ghosts on your own once night falls,” Urbana told them, “It is Halloween after all.”

“You really mean it,” Stevonnie asked, excited.

“It may not be as clear as I can see them, but you should be able to see them,” Urbana told them.

They fist pumped and said, “Yes!”

“Hey! Where do you want this box of tiny skeletons!?,” Beetlejuice yelled at Urbana from across the lawn.

They finished decorating the front lawn and Urbana went inside to the ballroom to help set up the stage for the live band with Lurch. Aika, Olivia, Link, Layla, Jammana, and Bree showed up to help Lurch and Urbana set up the stage after they were halfway done with it. There was a lot of hugs and friendly greetings, and announcements, like Jammana and Bree being engaged, and Link adopting a teenager named Eggs, who was originally raised by Boxtrolls apparently. Aika got promoted to being a music teacher at a prestigious collage. Olivia and Layla are both part of an orchestra that plays the background music in animated and live action movies.

It was two hours before twilight, and people started to flood into the mansion for the family reunion party. Urbana was about to go up to her room to get dressed in her yellow suit that she bought at Hilda’s place, when she spotted Casper and Scarlet come into the ballroom.

Urbana immediately ran to Scarlet to give the succubus a hug.

“I’m so glad you could make it,” Urbana told them.

Scarlet looked like a feminine man, wearing a fancy outfit with the left side being a black suit and the right side being a slick black dress. Urbana didn’t know outfits like theirs was an actual thing, but they pulled it off nicely.

Urbana stopped hugging Scarlet to address Casper, “You’ll find Wednesday in the kitchen.” And she pointed him in the right direction.

“Thank you,” He said before floating away.

Urbana then turned back to happily talk to Scarlet, only to be blind sighted by the fact that Hellboy was standing right behind them.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Urbana asked.

“You know, that’s not the kind of tone of voice I was expecting you to say that in,” Hellboy said.

“Are you surprised,” Urbana said, still sounding aghast.

“I supposed not,” Hellboy said, “But still.”

“You still haven’t answered my question,” Urbana said, getting accusatory.

“I’m just here to have some family fun,” Hellboy said, as he averted his orange eyes away from her.

Urbana looked to Scarlet who was also not looking her in the eyes, and they seemed kind of fidgety.

“Liar,” Urbana said, “You still don’t trust, Scarlet.”

“They weren’t even raised by human’s Urbana,” Hellboy said, “How are you so trusting of them?”

Urbana, low pitched screamed in agony at Hellboy’s over protectiveness and lack of wanting to trust a very obvious ally. Then Urbana saw Stevonnie, newly dressing in a lace suit that was showing off their gem, and she went over to them and dragged them over to Hellboy.

“Hellboy, Stevonnie. Stevonnie, Hellboy,” Urbana introduced them, then said to Stevonnie, “This is my half demon friend. He was sent here from hell for unknown plans that he constantly tries to thwart by just being the cutest of pies. Ask him any questions you like. He loves being asked questions.”

Stevonnie’s eyes sparkled with delight and excitement and they unloaded question after question onto Hellboy, who wasn’t ready for this kind of social assault. While that was happening, Urbana grabbed Scarlet’s hand then she dragged them to her room.

Once she closed her bedroom door, Urbana said, “Now we can have some alone time.”

Scarlet felt their heart leap into their throat and an unintentional squeak escaped their mouth.

Urbana turned on her bedroom light and asked, “Are you okay? Did Gizmo scare you?”

Scarlet turned to see a little fuzzy demon playing MineCreate on a laptop, on Urbana’s bed.

“No. He’s just adorable,” Scarlet said.

Urbana smiled as she said, “He is.”

Urbana pulled out her yellow suit from her wardrobe and she told Scarlet to relax while she got changed in her bathroom. Scarlet couldn’t relax. There was so much to look at without embarrassing themselves in front of Urbana. Like staring at the cute posters of cartoon shows that she likes, like Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure, Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts, and She-Ra and the Princesses of Power. They examined a necklace made of muscle shells, rocks, and bones laying on her dresser. Scarlet picked up and hugged Urbana’s body pillow of a large spoon that was crying. They looked over Urbana’s half-finished drawings and paintings that she left on her window seat. Then they looked through her bookshelves and saw manga, comic books, and regular books, interchanged with DVD sets of animated movies and anime. Most of the anime had pictures of scantily clad women on their covers, and Scarlet couldn’t help but think that Urbana might be more interested in women than men even if she isn’t sexually interested in either. Then they found a cardboard box full of sketchbooks and composition books. Scarlet picked up a sketch book labeled with the year 2040 on it. Scarlet opened it to see bleak and horrifying pictures of multiple unknowing faces screaming into the void, clawed hands hovering over lone and frightened figure’s, eyes with tentacles bursting out of them, and sharp jagged teeth biting into body parts. Scarlet couldn’t look away; they were so surprised by the drawings that they didn’t notice Urbana coming out of the bathroom.

“Oh, hey! That’s Jerry,” Urbana said as she pointed at a drawing of an eye with sharp jagged teeth smiling out of the eye, “I forgot you.”

Scarlet slammed the sketch book and said, “I’m so sorry.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” Urbana said, “All of these are like ten or eleven years old, maybe even older. I haven’t looked through _all_ of them.”

Scarlet looked Urbana up and down, admiring how good the yellow suit looks on her.

“Do you know how to do cornrows?” Urbana asked them.

“I do,” Scarlet said.

“Perfect,” Urbana said as she dangled some golden hair rubber bands, “You’ll do the left side, I’ll do the right.”

While Scarlet was helping Urbana, they asked, “Do you still draw like that?”

“Sometimes,” she said, “When I drew like that when I was little, they always came after I had a really bad day at school or after waking up from a particularly bad nightmare. I would imagen that I was extracting the bad stuff in my mind and placing them somewhere else so they couldn’t overwhelm me. It’s not as bad now as when I was younger.”

After they finished braiding her hair, Urbana slipped on her metal gloves and her fancy shoes and the two of them walked back downstairs. Among the crowd Urbana saw that the Manhattan clan had joined the party, all accept Goliath. Urbana also saw the ghosts of her mother and grandmother and she immediately ran to them, with Scarlet close behind her.

“Mom!” Urbana cheered as she went to hold her mother’s face in her gloved hands.

“I’m so glad you’re safe. Those notes that you give us through Beetlejuice just isn’t enough,” Rosie said, “and look at you! You look so beautiful in your suit.”

“Thanks,” Urbana said.

“You also look a bit different too,” Grandma Harp said, “Have you gained weight?”

“Mostly muscle mass,” Urbana told her Grandma.

“It looks lovely on you,” Grandma Harp said.

“Thank you, Grandma,” Urbana told them.

“I haven’t looked around yet, but is Bob here, this year,” Rosie asked, sounding only slightly hopeful.

Urbana shook her head.

“Oh…”

“Who’s the nice young man or woman standing behind you,” Grandma Harp asked.

Urbana pulled Scarlet up to stand beside her and said, “This is Scarlet. A Succubus demon that I befriended in Transylvania. They’re super cool and nice.”

Scarlet didn’t know what to say, they weren’t ready to meet Urbana’s blood family. They haven’t even had the talk with Urbana about how they feel yet, they don’t even know what to say.

Head spinning, Scarlet offered their hand out to Rosie to shake and said, “You make pretty daughter.”

Rosie took their hand and said, “I do, don’t I. Thanks for noticing.”

Scarlet could only nod with a tight-lipped smile.

From the stage, Beetlejuice yelled, “Urbana! Get up here so we can do our bit!”

Urbana waved goodbye to her dead relatives and to Scarlet, then ran up to the stage. Once she was on stage, Beetlejuice snapped his fingers and a stereotypical French looking skeleton, a cartoonish looking spider with tap dancing shoes on, and a jungle explore man with a super tiny head appeared behind them.

Then Beetlejuice began singing.

B: Do you hear that sound?

(intense scream from tap dancing spider)

U: That beautiful sound?

(intense scream from the skeleton)

B: That is the sound, of clean, white, shorts turning brown

Torture and pain

(intense scream from tap dancing spider)

Breaking a brain

(Hyperventilating sounds coming from the Jungle Man as he says, this is so weird!)

A sound that says

I will never sleep well again

(intense scream from the skeleton)

The band’s instruments were playing by themselves in a jaunty upbeat swing while Beetlejuice and Urbana sang about how great it is to hear people scream in terror. The two of them were having a blast and were dancing as they sang. Urbana was having such a good time that she was even able to ignore the fact that a knee-high spider was screaming behind her as they sang. Once their song was over, the two of them bowed and the whole ballroom roared with clapping. The instruments returned to the hands of their owners and the people Beetlejuice summoned hopped off the stage to join the party. Beetlejuice snapped his fingers to make his costume appear; a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Pinkie Pie furry suit with a black fedora on top of the pastel pony’s head.

Addressing the crowd Urbana said, “And that was _That Beautiful Sound_ composed and written by Beetlejuice. Next song will be Harry Belafonte’s _Zombie Jamboree_.”

In the middle of singing Harry Belafonte’s song, a figure crashed into ballroom through one of the large windows. The figure was feminine looking, standing on some kind of high-tech navy-blue hover board, and she was wearing a navy-blue full body suit with a matching face covering helmet.

Everyone was silent as they looked up at her. Then she raised her arms and tiny guns sprouted out of her forearms and she started shooting down every paranormal and magical looking person in the party. Everyone scattered and screamed as people dove for cover or ran out of the ballroom. Urbana was stock still as she watched what she saw unfold. It was amazing really, just how shitty the world can be, with the turf war happening in New York and this place was supposed to be a safe haven for people like them… like her.

The masked woman had her sights on Urbana, but it wasn’t registering in Urbana that she should move. She took her shot, and Urbana was tackled to the ground by Hellboy.

“Hey! Don’t just stand there,” Hellboy yelled at her.

“Ah! Are you okay!?” Urbana asked as Hellboy dragged her back up onto her feet.

More shots were being fired at them, but Stevonnie got between them and the masked figure, throwing up their shield.

“A friend of yours?” Stevonnie asked Urbana.

That phrase made Urbana remember Danny telling her stories about Valerie Gray and how she got donations from Vlad to be a ghost hunting machine. Then an idea hit her like a truck and anger swelled within her.

“We need to get everyone to safety,” Hellboy said.

“Jake’s already helping get everyone out,” Stevonnie said.

“Make a shield for me,” Urbana said.

Stevonnie did, thinking she was going to take it for her to use as cover, instead, Urbana used it to jump on top of the shield that was protecting them from the attack. Urbana would have fallen but Stevonnie made another shield appear beneath their feet. Then Urbana leaped once more and grabbed the hover board. Urbana’s extra weight was enough to make the masked figure lose their balance and stop the shooting but not enough to topple them over. Hanging from the hover board, Urbana swung herself back and forth, then did a front flip kick, under then over the hover board, kicking the masked figure off of it.

Now it was the masked woman who was hanging from the hover board and Urbana standing on top of it. The masked figure aimed her gauntlet guns at Urbana, but she grabbed them and made her fire it into the hover board, a projectile grazed Urbana’s ribs as the two of them fell into the stage.

Standing up in the wreckage, too numb from adrenaline and anger, Urbana ran at the staggering masked woman, then dropped kicked her into the opposite wall. Urbana used her momentum from pushing against the masked woman to do a backflip, to land on her feet instead of on her back.

Urbana went up to the masked woman who was acting dazed and was struggling to get back up on her feet. Then Urbana forced the helmet off of her head, to see Susie’s face.

Slamming the helmet down, Urbana said, “I fucking knew it! What is wrong with you! You fucking idiot! Do you even know who gave this shit to you?”

Susie only glared at Urbana.

“I give you every possible opportunity to be a good person,” Urbana started to rant, “Even when I know you probably don’t deserve it and yet here we are. You decide to be a fucker who hurts people!”

“They’re not people. They’re monsters and demons,” Susie said, “Just like you.”

Urbana round house kicked Susie in the face. Sending Susie flying into some rubble.

Blood boiling, Urbana picked Susie up by her collar and said, “They’re still people!”

Susie tasered Urbana in the stomach, making Urbana let go of her and her whole body tensed up. Then Susie kicked Urbana in the chest, making her fall on her back into broken glass.

When Susie let up on tasering her, Urbana said, “What would your Grandpa think of you?”

Susie once again tasered Urbana, shutting her up as Susie came over and pressed her foot on Urbana’s throat.

“Shut up!” Susie said, “You don’t _ever_ get to tell me what Grandpa would think of me,” She pressed down harder on Urbana’s throat, “Ever!”

Hellboy, Scarlet, Jake, Rose, Stevonnie, and Gomez converged onto Susie. Beating her back. Once Susie was a good enough distance away from Urbana, Scarlet and Gomez helped her up out of the rubble to take her outside while Hellboy, Jake, Stevonnie, and Rose took care of Susie.

Outside, The Manhattan Clan and Cousin It was helping out anyone that was injured with some of Cousin It’s employees from his clinic starting to show up to help him help everyone else.

With her adrenaline high crashing down, Urbana could barely keep her eyes open. By the time Cousin It came over to look at her, she had already passed out.

# # #

The next morning, Urbana woke up in a hospital bed. Sleeping in a chair beside the bed was her Aunt Jane. Urbana checked herself over, and saw that she didn’t have any injuries, and she concluded that Stevonnie or Steven must have healed her. Then the thought of Susie and what she did to her home and to her family filled her with rage, but she didn’t know what to do with it, so she started to do pushups on the floor, just to try and get rid of her rage.

Jane woke up from Urbana’s excessive movements, and she said, “Urbana don’t.”

“I’m fine,” Urbana grunted as she continued to do her pushups.

“Cousin It says that you should rest,” Jane said as she knelt down beside Urbana and placed her hand on her back, “It’s your mental health that he’s worried about.”

“My mental health!?” Urbana said bewildered as she stopped doing pushups, “Who cares about my mental health. Fucking Susie, crashed our family reunion and ruined everyone’s good times and so much more.”

“Yah?” Jane said softly as she guided Urbana back to the hospital bed.

“I bet you a thousand dollars that Vlad is the asshole behind her having that suit that she was wearing too,” Urbana said.

“Oh yah?” Jane said as she tucked the covers over Urbana’s legs.

“There were so many people she hurt,” Urbana said then asked, “Did anyone die because of her?”

“No,” Jane said, “Steven and Cousin It were able to help them all in time.”

The anger that she was feeling was starting to cave way to a sense of sadness, but she didn’t want to cry. She’ll be twenty-one soon. She’s too old to cry over _every _bad thing in her life.

“Was she captured,” Urbana asked.

“No,” Jane said as she sat on the side of the hospital bed, “She managed to get away.”

Urbana took the pillow that she was laying on and threw it across the floor.

“I’m not getting that,” Jane said.

“I don’t care,” Urbana said, “I can’t believe this. I bet she’s still at the dorms. I’ve got to find her.”

Urbana attempted to get back out of bed, but Jane forced her down.

“Absolutely not,” Jane said, “That’s what Officer Maza is for.”

“I can’t just sit here doing nothing, Aunt Jane,” Urbana said trying her damnedest not to cry, “She hurt people. MY people. The mansion is supposed to be a safe space for people like us. How are we supposed to live if home doesn’t feel safe anymore?”

Jane took her hand and said softly, “Well, we find safety in the company of others.”

Urbana squeezed Jane’s hand tightly as she tried to resist crying, but then Jane pulled her into a hug and the tears came pouring out of her. Urbana cried away her frustrations, her anger, half of her fear, and in the end was glad that her Aunt was with her.

There was a knock on the hospital room door, and the two women asked to give them a moment. Once Urbana had cleaned up her face they said, come in, and in walked Elisa Maza.

“Hey, Urbana,” She said, “I’m here to ask you some questions about what went down last night. You think you can do that?”

“Of course,” Urbana said.


	28. Snow and Trolls

Urbana was walking out of her Spanish Language classroom. Beetlejuice, transformed into a stinkbug, was telling her a funny story on her shoulder. Urbana would smile and nod at him, but she wasn’t really listening. Susie had just up and disappeared, her roommate at the dorms says she’s moved out and half of the teachers said she’s dropped out from her classes. Then there was the fact that she had a getaway car help her when she attacked the mansion. It couldn’t of been Vlad, he’s still discombobulated from the Fenton’s finding his first base and he not much for getting his hands dirty unless he thinks it’ll be an easy win, though the raid was weeks ago, and Vlad could be getting desperate. Either way, Elisa Maza and her boss Captain Fanzone are working on the case and Urbana’s not supposed to worry about it, but she does anyway.

Urbana walked out of the building to be met with the first snow fall of November. The sight of the snow instantly lifted Urbana spirits, for a little bit.

“Are you hungry?” Beetlejuice asked, “I bet they have your favorite salad stuff today.”

“You can go on without me,” Urbana said, “I’m not hungry right now.”

Beetlejuice transformed into his normal self and said, “Okay. Call me if an asshole, that you can’t handle, shows up.”

“I will,” Urbana said as she watched him float away to the cafeteria.

Urbana started to walk around the courtyard listlessly while she fingered the charm neckless around her neck. Edward Spellman, Grandmama’s big brother and a man who’s known in the magic scene as being the best at casting distraction and illusion spells, casted a powerful illusion spell on the Addams family property. Making it hard for anyone living, that isn’t blood related to Mr. Spellman or who doesn’t have a special charm, to find the property. Urbana was starting to miss the simpler days of her life with the Addams family.

A snowball hit the back of Urbana head.

Urbana looked around to find that the courtyard was empty.

“Beetlejuice?”

A snowball hit her in the forehead this time, snow falling down her face and making Urbana laugh.

Urbana set her backpack on the salted concrete and said, “Alright. Game on!”

There was laughter, but it wasn’t Beetlejuice’s. Urbana looked up to see a teenage looking boy with bright white hair, wearing a deep blue hoodie, and a brown pair of skinny jeans. He was wearing no shoes and he had a wooden curved staff in his left hand with a snowball primed in his other.

“Jack Frost?”

He stopped laughing and looked down at Urbana in shock. Dropping his snowball. Then he flew down to the ground to stand on top of his staff to get a closer look at Urbana.

Making a snowball herself, Urbana said,” Why’d you drop your ammo for? We’re doing this aren’t we?”

“You’re an adult, right,” Jack Frost said.

Standing back up with snowball in hand, she shrugged, then she said, “And you’re _the _Jack Frost, right?”  
“I am,” he said as he hopped down from his wooden staff to stand in front of her, “So, does that mean you believe in me?”

“I mean, yah,” Urbana said, “Why so surprised?”

“Well adults don’t usually believe in people like me,” Jack Frost said.

“Well, you obviously don’t hang out with enough adults, then,” Urbana said.

She then smashed the snowball in his face and then ran off to hide behind the nearest tree, laughing the whole time.

The two of them had their little one on one snowball fight for about an hour. When the courtyard clock started to ring and people were starting to change classes, was when Urbana felt she was ready to eat.

She went over to pick up her stuff from the ground to head to the cafeteria for a quick bite.

“Awe, where are you going?” Jack Frost asked as he floated over to her, to walk beside her.

“All that fun gave me an appetite. I should really eat something before it’s time for my next class to start,” Urbana said, “Thanks for the snow by the way. You are the one that helps bring it in, right?”

A random person walked through Jack Frost, making the kid stutter for a second then he said, “I am. I’m glad you like it.”

“It’s the best part of winter, you know, besides Christmas,” Urbana said, “What brings you to these parts anyways?”

“I’m here to try and give the kids a reason to have some fun,” Jack Frost said, “There’s been a lot of unrest and strife going on in the east coast, so me and the other Guardians are trying to do what we can for the kids.”

They were nearing the cafeteria when Urbana said, “That’s good. I’m glad to hear that the kids are being looked after. I’ll see you around maybe.”

“Yah. See you,” Jack Frost said as she entered the cafeteria.

Urbana’s day went on like normal, but occasionally, Jack would find her in one of her classrooms and draw little pictures on the frosted glass for her like rabbits, flowers, and birds.

“Who’s the kid,” Beetlejuice, in his stinkbug form, asked when he noticed him looking in on Urbana’s advanced drawing class.

“I had a snowball fight with him,” Urbana said as she worked on her final project.

“You had fun? In the snow?! Without me,” Beetlejuice asked, fringing sadness.

A small smile crossed her face at his antics as she said, “You wanted to eat cockroaches off of the cafeteria floor.”

“Ah, you got me there,” Beetlejuice said.

It was past nine o’clock when Urbana finally decided to go home.

“How often do you do fun stuff,” Jack Frost asked as he was walking Urbana to her car.

“Oh, it feels like forever since I’ve gotten to do anything fun,” Beetlejuice said.

“Hey, now rock stars, I think school’s pretty fun,” Urbana said.

“You do,” they said in unison.

“I wouldn’t be doing it if I didn’t like it,” Urbana said, then to Beetlejuice she said, “Also have you noticed that my art has gotten so much better since I started going here. It’s awesome.”

Beetlejuice just shrugged, but he was happy for her.

As they were nearing Urbana’s car, they heard the sound of a child crying. Parked close to her car, a woman was trying to buckle in their child in the back of their car. Jack went up to see what was wrong and Urbana was right behind him. Beetlejuice followed behind, not knowing what else to do.

“Excuse me ma’am, is she okay,” Urbana asked.

The woman sighed then said, “No. She lost her teddy bear that her father gave her.”

“You make it sound like he’s dead,” Urbana said.

“No, he’s just in the military,” the woman said, “Him being in the military is helping me get through college.”

Jack was trying to cheer up the little girl, but it wasn’t working out the way he was hoping. She stopped crying, but she was still very much upset.

“I could help you look for it,” Urbana offered, “Where was it last?”

“Oh, the building is already closed,” the woman said, “And we’ve already looked everywhere for it ourselves. It’s gone.”

The little girl started to cry again, and the woman said to her, “Oh, I know baby, but don’t worry, daddy can get you a new teddy bear.”

“I don’t want a new teddy bear,” she cried.

“I know exactly how you feel,” Urbana told the little girl, “I lost a stuffed cat toy when I was around your age. It made me sad too, but I know that Mittens is up on the moon with the Man on the moon.”

Jack sprinkled his magic on the little girl, opening her up more to Urbana’s story.

“Man on the moon?”

“That’s right,” Urbana told her, “He looks for lost toys and brings them to his home on the moon. He mends them, and cares for them, and protects them until the lost toy is ready to go back home.”

“Really?”

“Of course. And even if your toy does end up feeling like it’s never ready to return to you, you’ll always be able to see it on the moon,” Urbana said.

“Okay.”

The woman mouthed, thank you, at Urbana, then the woman and her daughter drove off.

“I could have just poofed up a new toy for her if we got a description,” Beetlejuice said.

“Then we wouldn’t have gotten to hear the story,” Jack Frost said.

“Ah, yes, and what a lovely story it was too,” a smooth man’s voice said sarcastically behind them.

Jack Frost was immediately in attack mode when he turned around, his wooden staff up and aimed like he was holding a gun. Beetlejuice and Urbana turned around to see a tall, slender man who looked like he was made of shadows.

“Get out of here Pitch,” Jack said, “Before I make you.”

“You can’t make me do anything,” Pitch said, “Not during these trying times,” Then he turned to Beetlejuice and said, “Hello, old friend. I see you’re keeping bad company again.”

“You know this guy,” Urbana asked.

Pitch was surprised that she was acknowledging their existence.

“Yah, but you do too. That’s _the_ boogieman,” Beetlejuice said.

“Wow. Really?” Urbana said then she forced Jack’s staff to point in the air and said, “Why are you pointing at him like he’s your enemy.”

“Because he is,” Jack Frost said, “He’s Pitch. He’s done awful things to keep people in fear and to try and destroy the Guardians.”

“It’s business. It’s nothing personal,” Pitch said.

“Oh, that’s a lie if I ever heard one,” Beetlejuice said.

“Okay, guys. Calm down,” Urbana said, “It’s just the boogieman.”

Pitch got in Urbana’s face, being as intimidating as he can be. Jack Frost stood a side doing nothing about it, mainly because, he felt in Urbana a kind of giddiness one gets for being mischievous. He was wondering why she was baiting him.

Pitch, whoever, could only feel Urbana’s nervousness and fear, and he leaned into those feelings of hers, hard.

“You cannot dismiss me so easily by just saying I’m only one thing,” Pitch said, his face inches from hers, “I know your fears so intimately that when I’m done with you, you won’t even want to go to the bathroom when you wake up from your nightmares.”

“Well, thank you for getting to know me then,” Urbana said with a smile.

Pitch was taken aback.

“I hope to get to know you too,” Urbana said as she grabbed him by his shadowy face, then kissed him on the lips for a few brief seconds, then she pulled back and said, “Hm. Black licorice. My favorite.”

Beetlejuice was laughing up a storm while Pitch and Jack Frost stood there stunned.

Urbana grabbed the hysterical Beetlejuice by the back of his collar and threw him into the back of her car. Then before getting into the driver’s seat, Urbana said to the two gentlemen, “Get some rest you two. I’m sure it’ll be a big day for you both, tomorrow.” Then she drove away to let them be in their stupors.

# # #

It was a late night, and Urbana had just gotten off work and was on her way to get groceries for Grandmama, before the general store closed. As she was loading up the groceries into the back of her car, Jack Frost found her and started up conversation.

“Have you had any really bad nightmares lately or anything,” Jack asked.

“None out of the ordinary,” she told him.

Jack Frost didn’t like the sound of that. So he asked, “Is that Beetle man with you or do you need an escort?”

Beetlejuice popped his head out of Urbana’s afro and said, “I’m here. She’s already got her escort.”

“I’m still not so sure about you. Pitch called you his old friend,” Jack said, “How do we know you’re not working with him?”

Beetlejuice scoffed, offended, and said, “Look kid. Just because I enjoy scaring the living daylights out of people, doesn’t mean I’m power hungry anymore.”  
“Oh. Anymore?” Urbana asked as she was finished loading her groceries.

“That’s right. Anymore,” Beetlejuice said. Jack was glaring at him, so Beetlejuice said, “Hey. I’m not exactly proud of the dead man that I was before I befriended my first living person and it’s true that I can go a little too far when it comes to scaring people, but unlike him I’ll actually feel bad about it… a little… depending on the person.”

“You’re not doing a very good job of defending yourself, Beetlejuice,” Urbana said.

“A little help then,” Beetlejuice asked.

Urbana closed her car’s truck door, then faced Jack Frost and said, “Look. I trust him. He’s helped save my life more times than I can count and he’s my best friend.”

Jack sighed then said, “I guess I’ll have to trust that then. For now.”

“Speaking of Pitch. I’ve been meaning to speak with him again,” Urbana said, “I want to apologize for forcing that kiss on him.”

“Seriously,” Jack said.

“Why? It was funny,” Beetlejuice said.

“I know I wouldn’t like it if someone forced a kiss onto me,” Urbana said.

“You don’t have to,” Jack said.

“I know. I want to,” Urbana said.

Jack shrugged, then said, “The best I can do for you is tell him you want to see him the next time our paths cross.”

“Sounds good to me,” Urbana said.

In the distance, the three of them heard a roar.

“Woah,” Urbana said, “What was that?”

“I don’t know. What to check it out?” Jack asked.

Urbana and Beetlejuice heartily agreed.

Urbana parked near the noise as close as she could, then the three of them hid behind a snowbank. In the middle of an abandoned parking lot, they saw a large plant monster fighting a skinny looking troll with a sword, on the sidelines was a sonic the hedgehog troll cheering on the troll with the sword.

“You have trolls in this area,” Jack Frost said.

“Yah, but it’s my first time seeing one,” Urbana said.

“Doesn’t that plant monster look familiar,” Beetlejuice asked. His eyes were elongated like he was using them as binoculars.

Urbana took his binocular eyes and looked through them to get a better look at the plant monster. It looked like a giant cactus and it was shaped like Steven.

“That’s one of Steven’s babies,” Urbana said, “I’ve got to save him before that troll tears him up.”

“I wouldn’t call that thing a baby,” Jack said.

“How do you want to do this,” Beetlejuice asked Urbana.

“I’ll distract the mean troll. Beetlejuice, help load it into my car and start it up too so we can make a getaway. Jack, you’ll have my back,” Urbana said.

“What about that sonic wannabe guy,” Beetlejuice asked.

“He probably won’t do much since he’s dead,” Urbana said, “Alright everyone. Let’s do this.”

Urbana ran down into the abandoned parking lot, as silently as she could, which wasn’t hard since the two of them were making so much noise. The only one who saw her coming was the sonic wannabe troll, but there wasn’t much he could do about it. Urbana drop kicked the skinny troll with the sword as hard as she could and instead of falling on her back, she used the momentum of her push against the skinny troll to do a back flip and land on her feet instead of on her back. Urbana managing to push him almost halfway across the abandoned parking lot.

Urbana turned to the large cactus and said, “Go that way! Follow the man in the black and white suit. Hurry.”

The large cactus Steven turned to where Urbana was pointing and saw Beetlejuice waving it over.

The skinny troll stood up, hesitating only because of his confusion and the cactus Steven growled at the troll.

“Don’t worry about him. Just go,” Urbana told the living cactus, “I’ll deal with him.”

As cactus Steven was running towards Beetlejuice. The skinny troll was already bounding towards them. Only being slowed down by Jack Frost making ice appear beneath his feet. Urbana knew that no matter how strong she has gotten from training with Gomez, she’ll never be strong enough to take on an armored troll in a straight fight. Good thing learning how to fight like a troll meant also learning how to fight dirty.

Urbana kicked his feet from beneath him, making him land on his ass. Then Jack Frost made a snow pile land on top of the skinny troll. Urbana then ran for her car. As she was running, Jack pushed her to the ground. A large sword lodged into the cold ground between her head and shoulder. Turning around on her back, the skinny troll was already on top of her, dislodging his sword from the ground. Urbana then kick him as hard as she could in his gronk-nuks. The skinny troll doubled over in pain.

Urbana got out from underneath him and as she ran, she yelled, “Rule number three, asshat!”

As she neared her car, she could see Beetlejuice in the driver’s seat with cactus Steven barely fitting in the back seat. Urbana slid over the hood of her car as she made motions to Beetlejuice for him to, go, go, go. Urbana was halfway in the passenger side of the car when Beetlejuice was peeling the car away. They could all see that the skinny troll was trying to follow them, despite the pain that he was in, but with them already having a large lead, and Jack Frost starting a snow storm, they easily lost him, and Beetlejuice drove them safely to the mansion.

Urbana and Beetlejuice only relaxed once they were on the Addams family property, making Urbana finally realize that her shoulder was bleeding.

“Me and the cactus will bring in the groceries. You patch that up,” Beetlejuice said, as he parked her car right outside the ghost barrier.

“Okay,” Urbana said. As she exited her car, she asked Jack, “Do you want to come inside?”

“No. I should go patrolling for nightmares,” Jack Frost said, “But if you ever need me, tell the North Wind your message and it’ll give it to me.”

Urbana waved goodbye to Jack as he flew away, then headed inside.

Once she was inside and, in the kitchen, Broadway and Angela were worried about her injury. They helped patched her up as she explained that she was helping a friend of a friend. To illustrate her point, the giant cactus walked into the kitchen holding half of the groceries she bought.

“Where’s Beetlejuice,” Urbana asked him.

The cactus mumbled something and pointed back outside.

Outside, Beetlejuice was laying on the ground, outside the ghost barrier surrounded by spilled groceries.

Laughing, Urbana went to grab the spilled groceries, saying, “I’m sorry. I forgot about the barrier.”

“So did I,” was his response as he continued to lay in the snow.

After all the groceries were put away and Beetlejuice went to his home in the Neitherworld, Urbana called up Steven to tell him about the friend she found. When she asked him if he wanted his cactus back in the morning, Steven said.

“It’s not about if _I _want him back. It’s what he choices. If he wants to stay with you and your family then that’s fine. If he wants to come back to Beach City, then that’s fine. How did you find him?”

Urbana then explained to him what happened.

“I wonder why a troll was trying to beat him up, cactus Steven is a relatively calm creature… Most of the time,” Steven said.

“I don’t know, and I don’t want to know,” Urbana said, “Right now he’s safe and warm, and he seems happy, so I’ll leave you be then.”

“Alright. Have a good night, Urbana,” He said.

“Thanks. You too,” she said before they hung up.

Then Urbana gave cactus Steven a tour of the greenhouse before she went to bed.

# # #

It was a late night and Urbana was walking to her car alone after having worked on her final projects at the college library. She was alone because she insisted on letting Beetlejuice have some alone time to do whatever gross or scary things that he wanted to do, but Urbana just wanted to have some alone time for herself too.

While Urbana was unlocking her car, a four fingered hand covered her mouth while a red and black armored arm wrapped around her arms.

“Aaarrrgghh, get the sleep potion,” the person trying to pin her down said.

“I no like this, Jim,” a deep gravelly voice slowly said.

Urbana used the fact that she was being held up by Jim, to push against him by kicking the side of her car. Launching them both onto their backs. Urbana then managed to bite Jim’s fingers, but it was like biting into stone, still she bit as hard as she could.

Once Jim pulled his hand back in pain Urbana screamed as loudly as she could, but her mouth was covered quickly.

“Hurry up, Aaarrrgghh,” Jim said.

Urbana looked up to see a large green mossy looking troll say, “Not right.”

Urbana struggled with all her might. Kicking and screaming still, despite her mouth being covered. She was working on freeing one of her arms to try and punch this Jim in the side of his face.

“I know, but you didn’t see her fight,” Jim said, “She knows troll stuff. She could be a changeling.”

“Not possible,” Aaarrrgghh said.

“We know there’s a power vacuum since Gunmar’s death. There could be a chance,” Jim said.

Urbana managed to free her right arm, but in her struggle, she accidentally hit a glass bottle then everything went black.

Urbana then woke up gagged with her arms and legs tied. She was in a room half filled with books, and half filled with trinkets, lit up by glowing bugs. In the corner was the dead sonic wannabe troll that Urbana saw the other night.

Son of a bitch, was all Urbana could think as she stared down the spiky troll.

Eventually the spiky troll noticed her staring at him. He looked behind himself to see what she was staring at, and he saw that he was standing in front of a display of an amethyst geode. He moved out of the way, but Urbana kept staring at him.

Eventually, he asked, “Can—can you see me?”

Urbana nodded her head.

He laughed like he was relieved. Then he said, “You’ve got to tell Jim that I know he couldn’t recover my body and that I don’t blame him for it.”

Urbana turned her face away from him, acting huffy.

“Please. It’s important,” he said.

Urbana, despite being gagged, brought to his attention, the fact that she was tied up and not exactly in the mood to be mediator for the dead at the moment.

“I know the Trollhunter isn’t giving you his best impression of himself, but he thinks you might be a new changeling or something, so you haven’t given him your best impression either,” the spikey troll said.

Urbana headbutted the spiky troll in the face as hard as she could. He stumbled back while holding his nose. Blood was dribbling down the middle of Urbana’s eyes while ectoplasm was coming out of the spiky troll’s nose.

The spiky troll growled at Urbana, and he looked ready to do some damage, but then there was the sound of shouting and in walked a troll with four arms and six eyes, the green troll called Aaarrrgghh, a teenager in purple armor, a stout teenager in bronze armor, and the skinny troll that Urbana saw before called Jim walked in arguing. So the spikey troll crossed his arms and opted to glare at her.

“Master Jim, I’m appalled by your poor judgement in this matter as well as by your execution of it,” the four-armed troll said.

“I’m telling you Blinky, she’s got to be a changeling,” Jim said, “She knows about the trollhunter rules, she’s got ice magic, she fights like a troll, we just have to prove that she can transform into a troll.”

“Don’t changelings have purple blood,” the stout teenager in bronze armor asked as he pointed at Urbana.

“They most certainly do,” Blinky said as he came over to Urbana to look at her forehead. The teenager in the purple armor already had a first aid kit in her hand and was on standby next to Blinky. “Honestly, Aarghaumont, I thought you said you were being gentle.”

“I was,” Aaarrrgghh said.

“Don’t worry buddy. I believe you,” the bronze armored teenager said.

“Thanks, Wingman,” Aaarrrgghh said.

After patching up her forehead, Blinky took off Urbana’s gag and asked, “Now, what’s your name young lady?”

“I’m Urbana. Are you Blinkous Galadrigal? Did I say that right?” Urbana asked.

“Why yes you did, and yes I am,” Blinky said, just as shocked as everyone else that she knew him.

“Do you remember a fish man named Abraham Sapien and how he helped you and Kanjigar defeat a water sprite that was drowning trolls in Trollmarket,” Urbana asked.

“Ha! You know that old fish,” Blinky asked, excited.

“He’s a fellow bookworm friend,” Urbana said.

“Truly what a momentous day, proving just how miniscule our world is,” Blinky said as he started to untie Urbana’s arm restraints, “Master Jim, untie her legs.”

The skinny troll in the black and red armor did as he was told, despite looking like he really didn’t want to.

Urbana rubbed her arms and shook out her legs once she was untied.

“We are all terribly sorry for your mistreatment,” Blinky said then asked, “Might we ask if you are perchance an ice wizard?”

“And why did you help that plant monster,” Jim asked.

“I’m not an ice wizard, and that plant monster was a friend of a friend. I’m sure there was a misunderstanding between you and the cactus Steven,” Urbana said, then she added, “Alright. Goodbye.”

Urbana tried to go out the door, but Jim grabbed her arm, preventing her from leaving. Jim was saying something about wanting to know where she learned to fight, but him grabbing her was the last straw for Urbana, so she roundhouse kicked him in the face and ran for the door. Aaarrrgghh tried blocking the door, but Urbana slid beneath him and was running down the stone stairs. Urbana then summoned Beetlejuice.

Beetlejuice was in his silk purple pajamas with is matching nightcap on his head, and he was snoring like he was faking it. Urbana woke him up as she dragged him behind her as she ran. Beetlejuice looked around at the crystal studded rock ceiling, the houses made out of large mushrooms and different kinds of rock, and a giant reddish-purple rock towered among everyone else like a skyscraper.

“Did you seriously get kidnapped,” Beetlejuice asked, making his normal suit appear on himself.

“I can tell you more later, but yes,” Urbana told him as she ran through what looked like a farmer’s market for trolls.

“I’m going to kill them,” Beetlejuice said, as he glared down the people who were chasing them.

“Absolutely not. Just get me out of here and use looney toon esc, hijinks to slow them down or whatever, but use nonlethal hijinks,” Urbana specified.

“Alright, fine. Let me get you out of here,” Beetlejuice said as he picked her up bridal style and then turned them invisible.

There were about to faze through the rock ceiling when the sonic wannabe troll grabbed them, making Urbana fall.

Beetlejuice snapped his fingers, and the mushroom houses sprung up and caught Urbana in the air. Urbana rolled off their spongy roofs and fell hard on the rock floor. While Urbana was rubbing her head, trying to get her bearings, a stout looking lime green troll that smelled like swamp water, was nose to nose with Urbana.

“Are you alright, fleshbag?” She asked.

“I’ll live,” Urbana told her, “Thanks for asking.”

The troll helped her back on her feet.

From farther behind them, the teenager named Wingman, yelled, “Glug! Hold her down!” While riding on the back of Aaarrrgghh.

Glug attempted to do what Wingman said, but Urbana was too quick and was already running again. Urbana found some stairs, but instead of taking them, she jumped on top of the roof tops that were level with the stairs, trying to get a good view of her surroundings so she could make a better escape.

Beetlejuice appeared beside her and said, “Sorry kid. You okay?”

“I’m fine. What happened to Sonic?” Urbana asked.

Beetlejuice was about to answer when said dead troll, rammed into him, then he said to Urbana, “I Draal the Deadly, son of Kanjigar the Courageous, demand that you—”

Then Beetlejuice sent him flying with his comically large hammer.

“What a rude guy,” Beetlejuice stated.

Behind Urbana, she heard the sound of metal jingling and Wingman yelling, “Ah! My Warhammer!”

Urbana turned around to see the teenager in bronze armor dangling from the side of a mushroom roof. Urbana immediately ran towards him to help him up.

“Kid, roof hopping requires not wearing armor,” Urbana told him as she struggled to get him up.

“Then don’t runaway on rooftops,” Wingman said.

Urbana managed to pull him up and the both of them were breathing heavy.

“Are you okay,” Urbana asked him.

“I am. Thanks,” then he said, “I’m Toby, by the way.”

“Well, then this isn’t a nice time to meet you,” Urbana told him, “Come on Beetlejuice, let’s go.” Urbana looked around trying to find him, only to see Draal fighting the dead man again, “God damn it Draal! Leave us alone!”

“Draal?” Toby asked confused.

Jim then came out of nowhere to pounce on Urbana, but she caught him with her legs and vaulted him up and over her into an alley down below. The sound of something breaking and falling in a kitchen echoed in the alleyway that Jim landed in.

“You go check on him,” Urbana told Toby before running away again.

In the far distance, basically at the edge of the town, Urbana could see from the rooftops what looked like a train track area. Where’s there a train track, there’s an exit.

“There she is,” The teenage girl in purple armor yelled from Urbana right.

Urbana saw a pile of old socks in someone’s front yard, and Urbana used it to cushion her fall. As she landed, she heard someone yell at her, but she didn’t have time to see who she landed on as she got out of the gross sock pile and continued running. Beetlejuice found her again.

“You know, it’d be a lot easier if you let me go full ham on these assholes,” Beetlejuice told her.

“I still stand by what I told you, Beetlejuice,” Urbana stated.

“Okay, fine,” He said, then added, “You have someone on your back.”

“Well, get them off me,” Urbana said.

Beetlejuice pulled a toddler sized troll off of Urbana’s back by the scruff of his neck.

“Eh, eh, eh! How are ya doing this? Who’s holdin’ me by the back of me scruff,” the little troll in a diaper said.

“Mouthy little guy. Can I keep him?” Beetlejuice asked.

“No, you can’t keep him,” Urbana said.

“If you’re thinking of keeping me, I’ll be sure to eat and tear up anything an’ everything that you own,” he said as he struggled in Beetlejuice’s grasp.

The three of them came into a clearing that looked like a courtyard/food stall area. The train track area wasn’t too far away.

“NotEnrique!” The teenager in purple armor called out on the other side of courtyard. Behind her stood a tall pinkish-purple troll woman with two scythes, one in each hand.

“Claire!” he cried back.

“Is that really your name,” Urbana asked as they charged at them.

“Got a problem with it,” NotEnrique said.

“Not at all. Stay safe,” Urbana told him, then to Beetlejuice she said, “Lunch him at the girl in the purple armor.”

“You got it,” Beetlejuice said as he made a comically large slingshot appear.

While Beetlejuice was loading him up and aiming, NotEnrique was yelling, “Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What’s going on!” Then he screamed as he was launched at Claire.

Claire caught him, but the force of catching him was hard enough to make her fall on her back. Leaving the troll lady with the scythes after her still. Urbana wanted Beetlejuice to turn her invisible, but then Draal appeared again and started beating up Beetlejuice again.

“Damn it Draal!” Urbana yelled at him.

This made the troll lady with the scythes hesitate for a moment.

Urbana took that moment and ran with it.

Urbana ran past little homes and shops and ran through a batch of pure solid rock that seemed to surround the underground settlement. The scythe troll lady was running after her with Jim catching up and bounding after her like a Great Dane. As Urbana made it closer to the train tracks, it became increasingly clear that there was a massive canyon filled with sharp glowing blue rocks. Out of the corner of her eye she saw a warning sign saying that the blue rocks were highly explosive and to not have fire in this area.

Urbana stopped dead in front of the canyon, not seeing any kind of bridge or device to cross over with. Behind her, scythe lady and Jim would be soon upon her.

“Beetlejuice!” Urbana called out.

“I’m coming,” Beetlejuice yelled, from above, doing a nosedive towards her.

“Catch me!” she yelled before jumping a quarter of the way across the canyon’s empty expanse.

Beetlejuice caught her in mid-swoop and was safely floating her over to the other side of the canyon, but as they were half way across, Jim jumped the canyon and caught Urbana by her ankles, making Beetlejuice lose his grip and causing both Urbana and Jim to fall into the canyon.

The two of them were grazed by normal rock and that blue stone, however, Jim was fine, but Urbana’s face was bleeding from the impact, and it tore her shirt in half, making half of her titties pop out.

Once the two of them had landed on a flat piece of stone, Jim on top of her said, “I won’t let you hurt the people I care about!” Which was a very heroic thing to say but it was immediately undercut by the fact that he saw Urbana’s boob and got flustered at the sight. He covered his eyes and said, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to look.”

Urbana took this moment to get her legs underneath him and she kicked him off the ledge that they were on.

Urbana then crawled to the edge and yelled, “Are you still alive!?”

His voice echoing, Jim yelled, “Fuck you!”

Urbana breathed a sigh of relief, then she yelled, “Only the weak gets flustered by titties, kid!” Then as she started climbing up the face of the canyon.

She was halfway up when Beetlejuice picked her up, holding a weird stone wand thing in his hand.

“They used this to make a bridge across the canyon,” he explained.

“Neat,” Urbana said, “It’ll probably start up the strange circular train thing too.”

“Maybe,” Beetlejuice said as he placed Urbana on the train side of the canyon.

The humans and trolls that were chasing Urbana were all standing on the other side of the canyon.

“What did you do with Jim,” Claire demanded.

“He’s down there, but he’s fine,” Urbana assured her.

Once again Draal tried attacking Beetlejuice but Urbana got in between them.

“Alright you. Stop it,” Urbana demanded of him, “Go help Jim get out of there.”

“That’s a cruel thing to say to a dead troll,” Draal replied.

“I’ll help you do it,” Urbana said as she pulled a baseball sized ball of light from her chest, “Here. Eat this and you should have the strength to pull him out of there.”

Draal immediately grabbed for it, but Urbana pulled back and said, “But keep him on that side. I’m trying to go home, not be a prisoner.”

Draal stared at the ball of light, then said, “Very well, human.”

Urbana then handed the ball of light to Draal, then she ran for the train thing. She managed to start it up and Beetlejuice and Urbana were out of the troll settlement. The spherical train thing was going too fast, that the two of them didn’t know where they were going, and eventually, they crashed the machine, into the surface.

“Are you alive,” Beetlejuice asked as the dust settled.

“God, I hope so,” Urbana said.

The sun that was shining on them wasn’t enough to keep Urbana warm, so Beetlejuice gave her his suit jacket. Urbana hiked up a rather large hill, and together they could see New York from where they stood.

“I’m going to need to borrow your phone,” Urbana told Beetlejuice.

Beetlejuice summoned his phone and Urbana called Steven to pick her up.

# # #

Urbana was heading for her car after having attended a late-night lecture for extra credit for her general physics class. Beetlejuice was with her, telling her about how he witnessed a couple giving each other a hand job and how he messed with them.

As Urbana was unlocking her car, someone cleared their throat behind them. Beetlejuice and Urbana turned around to see Jim standing behind them.

Urbana rubbed her left eye since her right eye was covered in bandages, and she sighed. Beetlejuice transformed himself into a giant, fuck you, snake and coiled himself around Urbana. Jim was immediately intimidated, but he stood his ground.

“Oh my god, kid. You’re like a bad pair of panties, always riding my ass. Couldn’t you give me more than a day to deal with my kidnapping,” Urbana said then asked, “Where’s Draal? Did he finally move on or something?”

“I don’t know,” Jim said, “He was gone a minute after he helped pull me up out of Frozen Flame Canyon.”

“Then you must be here for that strange key thing, Beetlejuice nicked from ya,” Urbana said. She turned to her car and then said, “Watch him.”

Urbana could hear Beetlejuice hatefully hissing at Jim while she rummaged through the back of her car. Urbana grabbed it, then tossed it at Jim’s feet.

“There you go. Now you can leave me the hell alone,” Urbana said.

Jim picked up the key, then said, “Thank you, but this isn’t what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“If you’re here to apologize then save it,” Urbana said, “I’m not exactly in a mood to accept apologies.”

“You made Draal appear,” Jim started to say but Urbana interrupted him.

“No,” Urbana said.

“If you’ll just—"  
“No.”

“But—”

“No. No. NO. A thousand times no,” Urbana told him, “Listen kid. If you wanted a rematch of what happened when I ran away with C.S. then that would have been fine, but you kidnapped me, and hurt me. You think I’m going to do what you want just because you decide to play nice _now_. I don’t think so.”

Jim sighed then said, “Okay.”

“Thank you,” Urbana said. She noticed that Beetlejuice was still in his giant, fuck you, snake form and she asked him to come out of it. He did, disappearing from Jim’s sight.

“Woah. It disappeared,” Jim said.

“No. He still here,” Urbana said as she got in her car with Beetlejuice getting in the passenger side.

As Urbana was starting up her car, she could see that sad desolate look in his eyes. The same eyes she’s seen on Shinji Ikari from the anime Neon Genesis Evangelion. A young man forced to be a soldier. Her heart went out to him, but she wasn’t about to back down from how hurt he’s made her. Before he walked away, she rolled her window down and called him over.

“Give me your phone number,” Urbana said.

“What?”

“Do you have a phone,” Urbana asked.

“I do.”

“Then give me your phone number,” she said, “I’ll call you and then you and Draal can have your little undead heart to heart. But only when _I’m_ ready. Capeesh?”

“Yes, Ma’am,” Jim said.

Jim gave Urbana his phone with his information on it, and Urbana quickly copied it into her contacts list.

“Also, thank Aaarrrgghh for me,” Urbana told him as she handed him back his phone, “I’m assuming he’s the one that put all my stuff in my car and locked it up.”

“I will,” Jim said.

Urbana was rolling up her car window when Jim said, “Oh and about that plant monster.”

Urbana sighed then said, “What about it?”

“Um, it’s growths were and still are invading a hermit troll’s home,” Jim said, “Could you maybe ask it to remove its growths for my people’s sake? Hermit trolls are softer than the average troll, so the cactus growths affect their living arrangement.”

Urbana sighed again, then entered the Addams family mansion land line on her phone.

“Hey Goliath, has Elisa called you yet… Alright. I’ll make this quick then. Will you get C.S. on the phone please… Yes, the plant golem… Thank you,” They waited for a few minutes then Urbana said, “Hey, C.S. Remember that troll that was beating you up the other day?... Well he’s right here and he’s willing to talk with you civilly… Here he is.”

Urbana handed Jim her phone and Jim told C.S. the situation and told it where to find him the next night. Then he handed the phone back to Urbana and she hung it up.

“Thank you,” Jim said.

“Just don’t hurt it. I know it’s a cactus, but it’s a real sweetie pie,” Urbana told him.

“I won’t,” Jim said.

Then Urbana rolled up her window and drove away.

“You were too nice,” Beetlejuice said.

“I think I was nice enough,” Urbana replied.


	29. What the Hell

Urbana was walking out of work right as the sun was setting on the snowy December evening. As Urbana entered her car, Beetlejuice started cheering.

“Happy 21st Birthday, girl! Let’s get bitch ass drunk tonight!”

Urbana laughed then said, “I don’t know about that.”

“Why not? It’ll be fun,” Beetlejuice said, “I always have fun getting drunk.”

“I still don’t know. I don’t like the idea of having a _Hangover_ movie incident,” Urbana told him with a small smile, wanting to hear his argument.

“Oh, come on. This is real life,” Beetlejuice said, “I promise that you won’t get so drunk that you end up getting a face tattoo and you somehow own a pet tiger in the end.”

“Hmm, well, I do have the day off tomorrow, and I do kind of want an excuse to forget all the bad things that have been happening in the world so far, and schools out for the winter,” Urbana said, “I’ll just call home and tell them what we’ll be doing before we go on a bender.”

“Yah. Good call,” Beetlejuice said, “Pre-drunken-ness responsibility! Woot!”

After Urbana got off the phone with Gomez, Beetlejuice lead Urbana to one of his favorite drinking places.

# # #

Urbana woke up to the sounds of distant sirens, making her hangover headache worse than it already was. Urbana sat up in the middle of a trash pile, in a dark nowhere alleyway. Urbana could see, through the slit of the two buildings that she was in between, that the sky was red with the rising or setting sun. The sound of a crowd of people, like she was in a city, was the general background noise.

Urbana slowly stood up, bracing herself against the wall the trash pile that she was in was leaning against. Then she proceeded to give herself a once over. He work-clothes were torn but she was still wearing her winter jacket, which had her phone. She dug it out of her pocket to look at the time. It said 12:30pm. Which was weird since it didn’t line up with how the sky would look at that time of day. Did they go cross country in their drunken escapades? Urbana then called the mansion’s land line.

There was only static. Not even a, you-can’t-call-this-number-because-you’re-in-a-different-land, type message came up. Urbana then called Beetlejuice. It went through, but he never picked up and the phone went to voice mail. Urbana hoped he was okay. She tried to summon him. He didn’t show. So she tried again. Then again. Then once more.

Since Beetlejuice wasn’t coming to her call, Urbana’s only choice was to walk out of the alleyway and see where she was. Despite having no signal to call anyone, and despite the weird time problem, Urbana assumed that she was in a seedy part of New York. As soon as Urbana walked out of the alleyway, Urbana walked back into it, as she would prefer the trash over being surrounded by demons.

In the alleyway, Urbana saw one of those metal fire escape ladder things. She jumped to it, then climbed it up to the roof. Urbana saw that the sky wasn’t red from a setting or rising sun, it was only red, with a huge pentagram in it, and a moon with a pentagram on it as well. In the distance there was a large town clock, like Big Ben in London, but it didn’t just tell the time, it also had a countdown clock, with seven days to go until something happens. Closer to Urbana, she saw a billboard that said, Hotel 666 reopening in 2051. Beside that billboard was a sign that said, Welcome to Hell.

“God damn it! Am I in Hell!?” Urbana cried.

“What gave it away,” a man said behind her.

She turned around to see a demon who was lighting up a smoke. He was a calico demon of red, white, and black colors, like Scarlet is, with skinny long arms and legs and a long body and a long head with long black and white striped goat horns. He was dressed in a casual suit. He looked unassuming for a demon, but once Urbana locked eyes with him, she knew that he did revenge killings for the demons that pay for his service. Among other unsavory things.

Looking into the demon’s soul, made Urbana feel weak, which wasn’t good, considering, he pulled out a gun on her and was aiming to kill.

“I don’t know who you are, bitch, but my secrets are going to die with you tonight,” he said.

Despite how sluggish she felt, Urbana ran away, and as far away as she could. After dodging bullets and roof hopping for a quarter of a mile, she slid down into an alleyway, and ran through the crowds of demons, trying to avoid eye contact and the bullets that were whizzing by her. The shooting, then caused a downtown shoot-em-up with all the demons in the area shooting each other, because the demon that was trying to shoot Urbana shot at someone of relative importance. Urbana didn’t care, she was just trying to keep running until she could find an abandoned building to take cover in for a minute so she could get her bearings and make a plan.

Eventually, Urbana found a relatively quiet part of Hell with half of the buildings boarded up and demons were scares, like they were scared of something to come. Urbana found another building with a fire escape ladder and climbed it. Then once on the roof, she took her moment to breath. She checked herself over again, this time to make sure that she wasn’t dead. She didn’t feel dead, wouldn’t she know that she had died, she was really drunk though. She touched the top of her head and felt no horns, so she was pretty sure she wasn’t dead, but she also ran past a lot of inhuman looking and humanoid looking demons when she was running. So, she could still be a demon who just doesn’t have horns, but if she was dead, would she have been able to look into that demon’s soul like she did? It didn’t feel any different than the other times she’s done it.

Urbana was going to assume for the meantime, that she was a living person, in Hell. Now the only question was how she got her. Like, she’s aware of the fact that she’s here because of their drunken escapades, but how exactly is beyond her memory. Overall, she only had a few cuts from the bullets that grazed her, but otherwise she was physically sound, if a little dehydrated and hungry. She knows where she is, in general and Beetlejuice won’t come to her call for whatever reason.

Urbana looked at her surroundings. This area of Hell was more billboard signs than city, so it seemed to her, but not far from where she was, looked like an abandoned construction sight. In the middle of it sat a large looking mansion, much larger than the Addams Family mansion, almost physics defyingly large, with a sign on top of it saying, Hazbin Hotel. Urbana laughed, since it was a building in the middle of a construction site, and it looked abandoned, so it was once a hotel. Honestly it wasn’t that funny. Urbana just wanted an excuse to laugh about something. She wasn’t ready to laugh at the fact that she got so drunk that she ended up in Hell. Urbana then made the trek over to the abandoned looking hotel.

Urbana entered the apple and snake themed mansion and closed the glass stained door. Now she has a shelter, but what is she going to do for water and food? Urbana didn’t have time to think about it much, since someone squealed behind her, making Urbana jump and turn around.

A couple of feet away from Urbana, stood a demon woman with pale white skin, blonde hair, and was wearing a suit. On her head was a see-through flaming crown like she sees on Hellboy. Urbana would have asked about that, but she accidentally made eye contact with the demon woman and instantly learned her life story. Like how the hotel _is_ in business, and her goal of getting demons redeemed into heaven, and how she’s Hellboy’s older half-sister.

Learning so much, from such a rich life, in such a short amount of time with her having already dived into a demon previously made Urbana faint.

A few hours later, Urbana woke up in a big fancy bed. It was so big and fancy, Urbana felt like she should be a hooker waking up next to her client, who’ll say, good work last night, to her. But she was alone, and she was still in her work clothes, but with her shoes off and her jacket hanging on a hanger on a dresser.

The bedroom door open and Urbana immediately covered her eyes. She was tired of going soul spelunking, and she wished she knew how to not do it.

“Oh, good! You’re awake,” she said, “I brought you something to eat.”

“Are you the demon who saw me enter this hotel,” Urbana asked.

“I am,” she said.

She sighed in relief and uncovered her eyes, “I’m Urbana Des Moines.”

“I’m Charlie,” she said as she put a bed tray of eggs, bacon, jellied toast and orange juice in front of her.

Urbana was happy to see normal food.

“You’re a living person,” Charlie said.

Nibbling on the toast, Urbana said, “Yep.”

“How did you get down here,” she asked.

“No clue. I was too drunk to remember,” Urbana said.

“Oh… Um, do you usually get that drunk,” Charlie asked.

“No. I just turned twenty-one and my ghost friend wanted to show me all of his favorite drinking places. Last thing I remember we were doing something like graffitiing a wall in the ghost zone, and then I woke up in one of Hell’s alleyways,” Urbana explained, then she drank some of her orange juice.

“You’re friends with a ghost?” Charlie asked.

“I’m friends with a lot of strange people,” Urbana said, “I’m friends with your half-brother.”

Charlie gasped with delight, then said, “How is Anung? Does he go by a different name? Is he a good person? He’s not trying to help open all of Hell to the mortal realm, is he?”

“He goes by Hellboy and Red is his nickname. He’s an older brother to two twin women and he has a lovely family that he loves and who loves him back. He does everything in his power to thwart evil and he’s a devout Christian,” Urbana told her.

Tears of joy were dripping down her face. Urbana handed Charlie some bedding so she could clean her face.

“I’m sorry,” Charlie said as she wiped away her tears, “It’s hard to know what happens outside of Hell unless it’s specifically your job to know. I’ve just always wondered how he was and what he was doing when I found out about him. I doubt I’ll ever get to meet him myself, so thank you.”

“No problem. You’re a pretty good person,” Urbana told her.

“Thank you. That means a lot coming from a mortal,” Charlie said, then asked, “Can all mortals looking into the deepest parts of a demon like you can?”

“No,” Urbana said as she finished off her toast.

“I see,” Charlie said as she tapped her pointer fingers together, “Now, how are we going to get you out of here before the purge.”

“I’m sorry, the what?” she asked.

“The purge. Once a year, destruction angels come down here to Hell to kill off the population to “help” with over population,” Charlie explained.

“I always thought Hell was infinitely large like Heaven is,” Urbana said.

“No. It purposely has finite space,” she said.

Urbana rubbed her eyes, not knowing what to think.

“Are you feeling okay to walk,” Charlie asked.

Urbana finished off her orange juice then moved the bed tray off of herself, then got out of the bed. She stretched, then said, “Yep.”

“Alright, then I’m going to introduce you first to Vaggie, and then I’m going to introduce you to everyone else in the hotel,” Charlie said.

“Then let me find something to cover my eyes with,” Urbana said, “I don’t know how to turn off my soul sight and there are just somethings that I don’t want to know, you know?”

“Of course, let me help,” Charlie said as she looked around the room with Urbana.

Eventually, the two of them found a wide ribbon that was long enough for Urbana to tie around her head. Charlie then led Urbana to Vaggie’s room.

“What the fuck is that!?” Vaggie said.

“This is Urbana,” Charlie said.

Urbana waved at the area where she heard Vaggie’s voice and said, “Hi. I’m new here.”

“How did you get down here,” Vaggie asked.

Urbana shrugged, while Charlie said, “She doesn’t know, but we’re going to help her get out of here.”

“How exactly? Hell’s not exactly an export area,” Vaggie said, “and what about her safety. Once they know she’s a living human being, demons will want to possess her so that they can become stronger demons. I don’t doubt Alastor will hesitate the moment he sees her.”

“Look, I know her life’s in danger just by being here, but let’s think of this in a positive light,” Charlie said, “Us helping her, will help us get the old redemption juices a flowin’. Maybe she can help Angel in a way that we can’t.”

Vaggie sighed.

Then Urbana said, “Don’t worry about the whole possession thing. No one can possess me.”

“Really,” Vaggie said, sounding unbelieving.

“How,” Charlie asked.

Urbana only shrugged.

They were silent for a moment. Then Charlie said, “Between you and me, we can keep her safe if we work together.”

Vaggie sighed again, then said, “Okay. Just be careful you don’t break your heart too much over this.”

“Thanks, Vaggie,” Charlie said, then Urbana heard them give each other a kiss.

The two demon women then lead Urbana downstairs, to the lobby Urbana assumed, and then they called a hotel meeting. Within a few minutes, four new people showed up.

“Everyone, I’d like you all to meet, Urbana,” Charlie said, “She accidentally got into Hell, and as a part of our goal to redemption, we’re going to help her.”

“Okay, so how did a living person get into Hell,” A gruff sounding voice asked.

Charlie was hesitant to answer that question, but Urbana went ahead and answered his question. She was met with laughter, but Urbana shrugged it off.

“I’m going to go back to cleaning,” a high-pitched woman’s voice said, “If it’s not a man, then I don’t want anything to do with them.”

Charlie sputtered, trying to get the woman, who Urbana learned was named Niffty, to stay, but to no avail.

“I’m going to go back to counting the liquor inventory and tasting to make sure they’re all still good,” the gruff sounding man said.

Again, Charlie tried to get him, who Urbana learned was named Husk, to stay, but she couldn’t get him to listen to her either.

“It sure is interesting to see such a rare sight,” a radio showman’s voice said. His voice made Urbana’s skin crawl.

“Thank you,” Urbana said.

“Alastor’s the name, and radio entertainment’s my game,” He said as he shook Urbana’s hand. Urbana gave the demon her best customer service smile. Still not letting go of her hand, Alastor asked, “So, why the ribbon?”

“My eyes get tired,” Urbana said.

“Hmm,” Alastor said as he continued to shake Urbana’s hand.

Vaggie eventually got in between them and Charlie said, “So what do you think Alastor? You think you can look into your contacts and help her out.”

“Oh, who knows. You know that exiting Hell is only reserved for the lucky few,” Alastor said, “But I’ll do what I can.”

Alastor left, humming an old ditty.

“Oh, no you don’t, Angel,” Vaggie barked.

Charlie held Urbana by her arm as she guided her towards the two arguing demons.

“I’m going to my room,” Angel said, “Am I not aloud ta do than anymore, either?”

While the two of them argued, Urbana reached out to the sound of Vaggie’s voice. Once she found her, Urbana picked her up and sat her down to where she thought Charlie was standing. It made the two of them stop fighting while Urbana felt around for Angel.

Someone put a gloved hand against her forehead, and Angel said, “Please tell me you’re not forcing me to babysit the mortal.”

“Bitch, please,” Urbana said, disgusted by the idea just as much as he sounded, “We all know you’d be horrible at it, even if you wanted to “babysit” me.”

“Oh?” Angel said, sounding testy, “Then what do you know about me?”

“Other than the fact that you’re the only patient here,” Urbana said, “Absolutely nothing. Though I’m sure there’s nothing to really know about you.”

“Oh, ho, ho! Well I have news for you, Bitch. You’re talking to the number one porn star of Hell,” Angel said, “I’m the diamond in this ruff, baby, and if you took off your stupid little blindfold, you’d be blinded by my beauty.”

“Cool,” Urbana said, “Do you like being a porn star?”

Angel lost his steam at that question.

“Um, so, now that we have you two acquainted,” Charlie said, “It’s time that Angel did his daily activities. Urbana, you’ll be joining him.”

Angel groaned, while Urbana said, “Okay.”

In all honesty, Urbana didn’t think that drinking herself into a stupor with her best friend/older brother figure would put her into Hell, and she didn’t think she’d be helping the Princess of Hell with her star patient to get him to redeem himself. She especially didn’t think Hell had people doing jobs, or people trying to live normal lives, or anything that mirrored what the mortal realm does. She expected fire and brimstone or at the very least Dante’s version of Hell, not making clay figurines with the top porn star of Hell. Though, she supposed it makes sense. When you die, all you know is the life that you once had, and since people don’t change easily, if at all, then of course demons would make a society in Hell. A messed-up society, but a society, nonetheless.

Most of the activities, Urbana couldn’t do properly, and most of the time Angel would try to mess with her for his own amusement, but she proved to not be very amusing to him. Eventually, the activities ended, and it was time to eat. Urbana requested to be taken to her room to eat and Charlie obliged. Once in her room Charlie had some questions.

“So, what do you think of Angel?” She asked, “Do you think we can redeem him?”

“I don’t know,” Urbana said as she took off her blindfold.

“Oh,” Charlie said, then asked, “Do you think you’ll know if you do to him what you did with me?”

“That’s a violation of his privacy,” Urbana said.

“Your right, your right. I don’t know what I was thinking,” Charlie said, looking embarrassed.

“Speaking of which, sorry about that,” Urbana told her, “I violated your privacy, but you gave me a place to stay and food in my belly. Thank you for that.”

“Of course. Honestly, I don’t mind. It kind of felt nice,” Charlie said.

This made Urbana pause. Even Hellboy, who’s as nice as Charlie, didn’t like that she saw into him. Scarlet didn’t like it and neither did that roof top demon that tried to shoot her down.

“Why?” Urbana asked.

Charlie shrugged, then said, “I don’t know… It just felt nice.”

Based on what she knows about Charlie, Urbana could make an educated guess as to why someone like her would like to be known so deeply by a stranger, but she figured that Charlie was the one that didn’t want to admit it to herself, more than anything else.

“Okay,” Urbana said.

“I’ll leave you to your dinner,” Charlie said, “Have a good night.”

“Thanks. You too,” Urbana told her.

# # #

Urbana found herself in the Addams family mansion. Urbana was walking down some hallways, admiring the family painted portraits, when she heard people talking. They sounded worried.

In the dining room, Urbana found the whole Addams family, the Deetz family, the Manhattan Clan, Jake, his little sister, and his friends all talking with each other.

“Beetlejuice has never not been unsummon-able before,” Lydia said.

“Don’t worry, Dear,” Delia Deetz said, “You said that the Maitland’s went to the Neitherworld to search for him, and if anyone can find him, it’s them.”

“Exactly,” Charles Deetz said.

“I’m more worried about Urbana,” Morticia said.

“The trolls didn’t kidnap her again, did they,” Gomez asked.

“No, I already checked with them,” Jake said.

“How do we know she’s even in the ghost zone,” Haley asked.

“We don’t know for certain, but when I tried to call her, I only got static,” Wednesday said, “No, can’t-reach-this-caller, tone, no voice mail, no nothing, just static.”

“Maddie and her family are already looking for her in the ghost zone,” Grandmama said, “The best we can do is hope for her safety with Elisa doing her best and Steven and his family doing what they can to look for her too.”

“It’s just frustrating,” Brooklyn said, “She was only out trying to have fun.”

“I agree,” Goliath said, as he comforted his friend, “But all we can do is follow Grandmama’s advice.”

Urbana leaned on Morticia as she listened in on their conversation.

“I sense Urbana’s presence,” Morticia said.

“Oh no! She’s not dead, is she,” Spud lamented.

“No, ‘cause I don’t see her,” Lydia said.

“But she is here,” Morticia said, “Her presence feels very dream like.”

When Morticia said, dream, it gave Urbana her sense of urgency.

“I’m here! I’m in Hell!” Urbana shouted at Morticia.

# # #

Urbana gasped as she woke up in the big fancy bed that she was sleeping in. She had no idea what time it was. The sky was all the same outside, with its red, pentagram covered sky with its matching moon, and her room doesn’t have a clock. Her phone clock said 4:00am before it ran out of power. Urbana took a shower.

Urbana stepped out of the shower. She then got dressed and pocked her blindfold. She peaked out of her room to see that everything looked deserted. So, she decided to explore the hotel. The hotel had a lot of winding halls and stairs. Every door she passed she would look inside and check out the room for a minute or two before moving on. As she was walking about a pig found her. She knelt down to pet the little spiny pig.

“Who’s a cute baby boy,” Urbana cooed at the demon pig.

He oinked and nudged at her legs.

Not long after Urbana found the little pig, she heard Angel calling out the name, Fat Nuggets, and the pig responded to the name. Urbana immediately blindfolded herself and picked up the pig.

“Over here,” Urbana called.

Angel came to Urbana’s call and immediately took the small pig from her grasp.

“Oh, who’s my naughty boy. You are. You are,” Angel said, “We just went for a walk. What were you thinking, escaping my room?”

“He probably just wanted to walk on his own without a leash,” Urbana suggested.

“Hmm,” Angel said, sounding skeptical. Then he said, “What are you doing up so early?”

“Oh, so it is early right now. Cool,” Urbana said, “I woke up form a weird dream/nightmare maybe like thing. So I thought I’d explore. Try to find something fun to do.”

“Well, you ain’t gonna find anything fun in this stinkin’ hotel,” Angel said.

“With that attitude you won’t,” Urbana said.

“No, seriously,” Angel said, “You can’t do drugs, you can’t gamble, you can’t have sex with someone whenever you feel like it. These girls are a bunch of kill joys.”

“Mmm,” Urbana said, trying to sound sympathetic, “Then why are you here?”

“Huh.”

“Like, if you enjoy all of those, debatably fun, activities and they are one of the supposed roadblocks to your redemption, then why are you still here?” Urbana said, “Do you really want to be redeemed? Or are all your complaints just a cover for something else that you’re just not ready to face yet?”

Sputtering, Angel said, “Shut up. I don’t have to explain myself to you.”

“Your right,” Urbana said, “I suppose the real trick is explaining to yourself your own reasonings, huh?”

“I fucking hate you right now,” Angel said.

Urbana shrugged and said, “You’re not the first and I’m sure you won’t be the last. Now about that no gambling thing. One of you has to have an underground gambling ring that Vaggie and Charlie don’t know about yet.”

“What makes you so sure about that,” Angel said, sounding suspicious.

“Because this is Hell, and out of the five staff members that are here, only two of them are serious about redeeming demons and if I have to gamble to play some games with some people, then so be it,” Urbana said.

“I would think gambling would be hard for you with that blindfold on,” Angel stated.

Urbana just shrugged.

Angel was silent for a moment and Urbana thought for a second that he had left in the middle of their conversation.

Then he said, “You know what. I think it’d be funny to see you in debt to a bunch of demons. I’ll take you to Husk’s little gambling table.”

“Oh, fun,” Urbana said, ignoring the blatant malice.

After dropping off Fat Nuggets back into his room, Angel lead Urbana down, down, and even further down, until they were in a place that smelled heavily of smoke and sounded like a lot of washers and dryers were being used. Urbana deduced that she was in the basement.

“Angel! Why’d you bring the goody two shoes down here? We’re trying to have a serious game here,” Husk said.

“Hey baby, why not come over here and be my lucky charm,” a slimy voice said to her.

Urbana gave him her best customer service smile and said, “No thank you.”

“Urbana, here, wants to play a game,” Angel said.

“Well, she can’t,” Husk said, “She’s got nothing of value.”

“So, I’m guessing you don’t take bodily offer’s as betting revenue,” Urbana said.

“What,” Husk asked.

“You know, like if I lose, I offer up my body for sex, to be murdered, or tortured,” Urbana said, very serious, “because it’s true. I don’t have any money, accept maybe if I’m skinned and given to a butcher or something.”

Everyone was silent. Then one of the gamblers said, “Let her play Husk. It’ll be fun and maybe Spanks here will finally get laid.”

“Oh shut up,” a different gambler said.

Husk sighed, then said, “You sure about this kid?”

“Gambling isn’t a good game without high stakes,” Urbana said, “or consequences.”

“Amen to that,” the slimy voiced gambler said.

“Alright, bring her over here, Angel,” Husk said.

Angel led her to the gambling table and as she was taking her seat, they told her that they were playing Texas Holdem.

“Oh, I love that card game,” Urbana told them as she was given her cards.

As she played, she tried her best not to appear scared as she kept her costumer service smile on the whole time. She knows that she has relatively good luck when playing board games, but she’s not entirely sure if that luck would travel with her to Hell. After playing a few rounds, and defying all the cheating tricks, and against all possible odds, Urbana won the jackpot against all five players. Ultimately, Urbana was relieved and everyone else were half pissed off and half impressed. Angel was laughing up a storm at the sight while the other five players were grumbling amongst each other.

“Oh, stop your complaining,” Urbana told her fellow gamblers as she felt around on the table. She then picked up five plastic coins, pocketed them, then said, “Alright gentlemen. Divide the rest amongst yourselves.”

They all froze.

“I’m sorry, what,” Angel said.

“Yah, sorry Angel, if you wanted any,” Urbana said, “but you didn’t play.”

Immediately, the five of them started fighting over the winnings. Making Urbana fall back into her chair.

“Angel,” Urbana called out, “Angel get me out of here.”

Urbana felt four arms grab her, two on her shoulders and two on her biceps. She was then dragged away from the five men as they fought over Urbana’s winnings. They ran up a couple flight of stairs until Angel stopped.

“Thanks, man,” Urbana told him.

“You had all that money, why did you give it away,” Angel complained.

“Why do I need that much money,” Urbana asked, “Or betting chips. I’m not going to be in Hell forever.”

“You’re very confident about that,” Angel said.

Urbana only shrugged.

“Angel,” Vaggie barked.

Angel sighed.

“Where were you,” Vaggie demanded, “You were supposed to show up for your kindness lessons.”

“We were having fun together,” Urbana said.

“What kind of fun,” Vaggie asked, suspicious.

“I got to play Texas Holdem,” Urbana said as she showed her, her winnings.

Urbana heard Vaggie turn on Angel like a mad dog.

“Woah,” Urbana said as she tried her best to get between Angel and Vaggie despite being blindfolded, “It was my idea. I was homesick, and I usually play board games with my family back in the mortal realm.”

“You didn’t tell me that,” Angel stated.

“Would you have taken me gambling if I told you my sentimentality,” Urbana asked.

“I guess not,” Angel said, sounding unsure.

“And Angel kept me safe when I gave away my jackpot,” Urbana said, “He was responsible and kind towards me.”

“That’s debatable,” Vaggie said.

“Of course, it’s debatable,” Urbana said, “It’s Hell! He’s in Hell for a reason. I’m just saying, that based on the situation that we were in together, he was nice and caring towards me.”

Angel placed a gloved hand over her mouth as he said, “Alright. Enough. I don’t need those kinds of rumors spreading about me.”

Vaggie sighed, then said, “I’ll see _you_ in crafts class.” Then she walked off.

Not long after she was gone, Urbana heard Husk run up the stairs and run past them, with what sounded like a bunch of money and betting chips falling around him. The four other players weren’t far behind him as they chased him for his money. Apparently, the sight made Angel laugh hard. It made Urbana smile hearing him laugh.

Once he was done laughing, Urbana walked forward, saying, “Alright, see you around.”

“Hey, uh, wait,” Angel said.

Urbana stopped and turned to the sound of his voice.

He sighed then started to say, “I’m not very good at this kind of… thing… I, uh, I acknowledge that I shouldn’t have put your life in danger like that and I’ll try not to actively do that again.”

“Thank you,” Urbana said, then she asked, “Will you take me on a walk with your pig next time?”

Angel sighed then said, “Sure kid.”

Urbana smiled at him, said thank you to him, then as she turned around, she immediately ran into a hallway table, and it was like she got sucker punched in the stomach. Thankfully nothing fell off the table.

“Mother fucker, fine, I’ll lead you back to your room,” Angel said as he grabbed her by her shoulders.

“You’re just avoiding going to your next lessons,” Urbana said.

“Shut up,” Angel said.

Angel lead Urbana back to her room and Urbana mostly hung out in there for the rest of her day. Charlie would come to visit with her, asking questions and telling her about her day with Vaggie coming in to relax with them. But ultimately Urbana would be left alone to stare out at the city from her window.

There was a knocking on her bedroom door and Urbana assumed it was Charlie bring her, her dinner. As Urbana opened her door, the only thing she saw was a black and red suit before she covered her eyes with her free hand.

“Hello, lovely evening we’re having,” Alastor said.

“It sure is,” Urbana said with a nervous smile, “What are, uh, what are you doing here?”

“Why I brought you dinner,” Alastor said, “Made it myself. Poor Man’s Meal.”

Urbana smelled mashed-potatoes, onions, hot dogs, and it smelled fatty like it was cooked using animal fat instead of vegetable oil or butter.

“Oh, lovely,” Urbana said as she peeked through her fingers to grab the plate from him, “How’s your evening going?”

“It was interesting,” Alastor said, “Husker gave me quite the story about your gambling chops this morning, and I thought I’d tell you about what I found about getting you out of Hell. Can I come in?”

“Uhhh, sure,” Urbana said as she opened her door wide, and stood in front of it to keep it open.

Urbana kept her head down, making sure that her eyesight didn’t go above his knees. As he talked, Urbana ate.

“During my search I found myself a quaint independent little business that make it their duty to go into the mortal realm,” Alastor said as he paced back and forth across Urbana’s room, “Interestingly enough, when I described you to the man in charge, Blitzo, I believe, he became quite agitated.”

“Oh, yah,” Urbana said, feeling nervous, “Why’s that?”

“Oh, something about you knowing too much,” Alastor said, “Which I find strange. How does a mortal, who’s only been here for a few days, already know a demon’s dirty laundry?”

“Yes, strange,” Urbana said as she continued to eat. She was starting to feel like this was going to be her only meal.

Alastor was hovering over Urbana, but she refused to look up at him. Only focusing on his shiny black shoes.

“So tell me,” Alastor said, “Do you know a lot of demons?”

His black and red thin hands were like claws that were much too close to her eyes.

“I don’t,” Urbana said, as she placed her empty plate in his grasp and stepped away from him, “It’s hard for the average mortal to interact with the supernatural, as is.”

“Ah, but you’re not average. Are you?” Alastor said.

“Thank you for dinner. It was delicious,” Urbana said as she kept her eyes on the floor, “Have a good night.”

He laughed, sounding like radio static. “You’re very welcome,” Alastor said, “Good night.” Then he walked out of her room and closed the door behind himself.

Urbana looked up, making her neck pop, and she sighed in relief. Then she thought to herself that apparently, she can’t taste anything when she’s eating out of fear.

# # #

Urbana was in a building that looked it was made out of cement, but it didn’t seem solid, or maybe she wasn’t solid. Everything was lined with iron bars and gloom. The green prison looked like it could capture sunlight if it wanted to. Urbana walked along the empty halls, drawn to the sound of two voices arguing.

“Oh my god, Beetlejuice,” Rosie said, “Stop asking me to get you out of here. You were arrested and you’ve got to serve your time.”

“And I’m just saying that 1,000 years of imprisonment is a bit much for graffitiing one tiny patch of Walker’s prison walls,” Beetlejuice said.

“All the better then,” Rosie said.

“Urbana?”

“Don’t you dare bring my daughter into this,” Rosie said.

“No look,” Beetlejuice said as he pointed at Urbana.

Rosie turned to see her daughter looking at them like she didn’t recognize them and instead of emitting golden light, she was made out of her golden light.

Rosie screeched at the sight of her daughter and immediately ran to her, “Oh my little baby! Why are you here? How did you die?”

“She’s not dead, you stupid broad,” Beetlejuice said, “She’s astral projecting.”

“Do you really have to call me that,” Rosie said.

“You call me a bastard. Then I’m calling you a stupid broad,” Beetlejuice said.

“Regardless, why is she here,” Rosie asked, “It’s like she doesn’t recognize us.”

“She must be astral projecting in her sleep,” Beetlejuice said, “We must be nothing more than a dream to her right now.”

Urbana snapped out of her stupor at the word, dream, and ran towards Beetlejuice. She grabbed the bars in front of him, making the dead man back up.

“Beetlejuice, you’ve got to get me out of here,” Urbana said, “I’m in Hell. I’m in literal Hell. I played Texas Holdem with my life on the line, just so that I could pretend that I was home. Get me out of here!”

“Woah, woah. Easy,” Beetlejuice said, “Tell me where you are, and I’ll come for you.”

Urbana was about to, but then she felt like the air was knocked out of her and her astral projection disappeared before Rosie and Beetlejuice’s eyes.

# # #

Urbana woke up to Fat Nuggets on her stomach.

“Come on. Get up,” Angel said.

Urbana focused her eyes on the farthest corner of her bed and said, “Okay. I’m coming. Let me just get my shoes on.”

Urbana got her work shoes on and then pocketed her blindfold. She walked slightly behind Angel, who was extremely tall, and is a man who enjoys wearing black miniskirts and thigh high boots.

Before going out, the two of them were stopped by Charlie.

“Wait! Where are you going?” she said.

“Cool your jets, toots,” Angel said, “I promised her I’d take her for a walk with Fat Nuggets.”

“Wait. You are actually keeping a promise for such a mundane thing,” Charlie asked, squealing with pride and excitement.

“Don’t make me change my mind,” Angel said.

“But are you sure you want to go out, Urbana,” Charlie asked, “Sure. Most places are closed off and bordered up because of the oncoming purge, but it’s still not all that safe.”

“I’m not safe whether I’m in the hotel or not,” Urbana said as she looked Charlie in the eyes, “Besides, I might see something that’ll inspire my art or something that I can describe in my writings. I’m sure we’re not going to go that far out or anything.”

“Well, alright then,” Charlie said.

“Tell Vaggie good morning for me,” Urbana told her before they went out.

As the two of them were walking Fat Nuggets, Urbana was careful as to where she looked. She kept her head down and she would sneak little glances up or to the side of her to gage what she would be able to look at without accidentally making eye contact with another demon.

“So what’s the deal,” Angel asked.

“I’m sorry?” she said as she looked at the concrete sidewalk.

“You refuse to look up at anythin’ or anyone, except for the princess,” Angel said, then asked, “You that scared of the other demons or is it somethin’ else?”

“Um, it’s a little bit of both,” Urbana said.

“Hmm,” Angel said.

After a few minutes of them walking together in silence, Urbana noticed that they weren’t rounding a block or seeing anything that was the same. It was like Angel had a goal in mind for where they were going.

“Angel, where are we going,” Urbana asked.

“What, you think I’m going to let you walk with me, looking like garbage,” Angel said, “We’re going clothes shopping.”

Urbana grabbed one of Angel’s arms and said, “Please don’t.”

“Hey, let go,” Angel said.

“No. I’m serious Angel,” Urbana said, “Don’t take me into a crowd. Don’t make me interact with more demons than I can handle. I have my blindfold, but I could still accidentally drown in the knowledge. Please, Angel. Please.”

“Okay. Okay. Calm down,” he said, “She’s my personal costume artist. Natalie helps with my drag shows and she likes to work alone. You’ll be fine.”

“Really?”

“Really,” he confirmed.

Urbana let go of his arm and said, “Okay.”

Angel led her to Natalie’s workshop and she immediately started measuring her out.

“Hmm, I have an outfit that I can easily resize for her,” Natalie said, “But why are you blindfolded?”

“I’m just kinky that way,” Urbana said with a shrug.

Urbana could hear Angel’s suppressed snickering and she could only imagine the look she was getting from the costume designer lady.

“Mh-hm,” was all she said to her, then to Angel she said, “Come with me to the back. I want to talk since I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Sure,” Angel said as he shoved Fat Nuggets into Urbana’s arms.

She waited for a minute, then she pulled up her blindfold so she could look around the shop. Just like everywhere else, the windows were bordered up and mannequins were pressed to the side of the shop. The walls reminded Urbana, of how her college decorates their entry halls with other people’s achievements. Photos of demons in fancy suits and/or dresses, posing before large events or on stage in the middle of a performance. There were ticket stubs and personal photos like Natalie was at the events herself and newspaper clippings and pamphlets hung on the walls.

Eventually, Urbana saw a photo that looked like Scarlet, then on closer inspection, she realized that it _was_ a photo of Scarlet. They were photographed while dancing on a pole, wearing a really extravagant looking sequins dress.

“Alright,” Natalie said while Urbana replaced her blindfold back over her eyes, “Get back here. I want to see how this one looks on you.”

“Okay,” Urbana said as she tried to follow the sound of Natalie’s voice.

Urbana put on a tuxedo dress and was refitted in it and was given a pair of stiletto high heeled shoes, but Urbana refused them because she wouldn’t be able to fight or run in those things properly, so Natalie settled for letting her wear dress shoes instead of heels. Urbana was also given a blindfold that she was told would match with her outfit.

“So did you use to know Scarlet?” Urbana asked.

“The succubus Scarlet. The sexist demon in Hell, second to only our Queen Lilith,” Natalie said.

“Was the sexiest,” Angel corrected.

“Yah, I knew them,” Natalie said, “Why do you ask?”

“They’re my friend in the mortal realm,” Urbana said.

“You know Scarlet!... Wait, you’re from the mortal realm?” Natalie asked.

“Not like I care, or anythin’, but how are they doing out there,” Angel asked.

“They’re happy and they feel like they’re doing something with their life that gives them meaning,” Urbana told him.

“Cool,” Angel said, still sounding disinterested.

Urbana asked Natalie, “What where they like? Did you watch their climb to fame? Were you there for them when they needed a shoulder to cry on? I heard Valentino’s a soft toothed, tongueless cunt. He didn’t abuse them too much, did he?”

“I don’t know,” Natalie said over Angel’s laughter, “I’m not their mother.”

Urbana was disappointed that she wasn’t getting the information that she thought she would.

“Alright,” Angel said after he finished laughing, “Here’s the money for the outfit and for your work. I’ll be seeing you around.”

“We really should do another drag show together,” Natalie said as she took the money.

The two of them were silent for a while as they walked Fat Nuggets together. Urbana holding a plastic bag with her torn up and bloody work clothes in it.

“Do you work for Valentino?” Urbana asked Angel.

“I do,” He said, sounding like he was starting to disconnect from the conversation and Urbana could feel his discomfort.

“Listen. However you get it, be it through your redemption or if you manage to escape Hell or if you happen to overcome Valentino in some way, I hope you can find your own happiness and your own sense of security and safety. Okay,” Urbana said as she stared at the concrete sidewalk.

He was silent for a long time, and Urbana figured that she’s upset him with her words, and she was starting to regret asking to go on this walk with him. Angel then placed one of his arms around her shoulders. It hung loosely on her and she could easily just shrug him off if she wanted to, but Urbana felt like it was one of those, comradery touches, so she didn’t mind.

Once they got back from their walk, Charlie showed Urbana that she got her some drawing pencils and a sketchbook, and she thought that was the sweetest thing. Urbana asked if she wanted her to draw anything for her, and Charlie requested two drawing. One of her and Vaggie together and one of Hellboy, if Urbana could remember what he looked like well enough, and she said she remember enough. After changing back into her work clothes, Urbana was happy to spend the rest of her day drawing for Charlie while also trying her best to avoid Alastor.

# # #

Urbana was walking down the stairs of the Addams family mansion, just admiring the architecture as she walked. As she got closer to the first floor, she could hear people talking.

“Maybe you should take a break,” Fester said, “You’ve been doing this all day.”

“I’ll take a break after I astral project one more time,” Steven said.

“Here,” Grandmama said, “Drink some lemongrass tea.”

“Thank you,” Steven said.

Urbana walked into the living room to see the Addams family, the Manhattan Clan, Jake, his little sister, and his friends all hanging out in the living room, surrounding Steven.

“Are we even sure that Urbana can astral project on command like Steven,” Lex asked.

“I’m not sure,” Morticia said, “But I know I felt her here and if Lydia couldn’t see her, then she has to be doing it.”

Steven finished drinking his tea. Then he closed his eyes and relaxed against the couch. Then his body slumped over as Urbana watched his pink astral projection rise up out of his body. When he saw her standing among them, Steven immediately and joyfully went up to Urbana, who was indifferent to his glee.

“Hey, are you okay? Where are you,” Steven asked her.

Urbana blankly stared at him.

“Urbana,” Steven asked.

She continued to stare blankly at him.

Shaking her shoulder’s Steven said, “This isn’t funny. We’re worried sick for you. You’ve got to tell us where you are!”

Urbana gave him no reaction.

Steven looked around himself trying to figure out how to snap Urbana out of it before she disappears. Steven dragged Urbana over to his body, then shoved her astral projected form into it.

Urbana, in Steven’s body, gasped for breath like she was resurfacing after cannon balling into ice cold water.

“What happened,” Haley asked, “Did you see something bad?”

“Oh, Haley,” Urbana said through Steven, “I’m so happy to see your sweet little face.”

“Urbana,” Gomez questioned.

“I’m so happy to see all of you,” Urbana said through Steven, “The last couple of days have been extremely stressful.”

“Tell them where you are,” Steven told her.

“Right, right,” Urbana said through Steven, “I’m in Hell. I don’t know how I got there, but I’m in literal Hell.”

“Is it cool over there,” Pugsley asked.

“Not the time for those kinds of questions, kid,” Urbana told him, then she asked, “Is there a way for you guys to get me out of here?”

“I don’t know,” Grandmama said, “Demon summoning’s illegal in witch and wizard circles, but maybe we can get a professional’s help.”

Urbana was going to say something, but she was pulled out of Steven’s body, and zipped by everyone before anyone could stop her.

# # #

Urbana woke up to Charlie shaking her awake. Urbana could smell breakfast of oatmeal and cinnamon in the air.

“Oh, thank goodness,” Charlie said, “I thought you had died from the stress of living here.”

“You know that certainly would be a weird experiment,” Urbana said, “Would I just wake up after being killed here, or would I develop a new separate body, if I end up supposed to be in Hell to begin with.”

“I assure you, you don’t belong in Hell,” Charlie said, “I know we’ll get you out of here.”

Urbana could only give her a tired smile.

As the days rolled by and purge day crept closer, Urbana kept herself busy by helping Niffty clean the mansion, or playing betting games with only Angel and Husk, or doing art commissions for Charlie and Vaggie, or doing redemption lessons with Angel. All the while, she tried everything in her power to avoid Alastor. While Urbana was doing all of that, Charlie was trying to convince Blitzo to let her use the Grimoire to let Urbana back into the moral realm, but he wasn’t budging.

It was the night before the purge when Charlie came to her room.

“Come on,” Charlie said, “I have one last Hail Mary I want to try.”

Urbana was dragged into a limo and the two of them were driven through the night.

“So where are we going,” Urbana asked as she watched the buildings zip by.

“We’re going to go visit my old babysitter,” Charlie said.

“Is it rare to see this babysitter?” Urbana asked, confused.

“Yes, and no,” Charlie said, “I just got a call from Mother about him being in town and his job is to tempt humans to do awful things.”

“And that means, he has a way of getting in and out of the mortal realm,” Urbana said, feeling hopeful.

The limo parked in front of a large office building. The windows were boarded up just like all the other buildings, but one boarded up window on the fifth floor had a light shining through it. Urbana followed Charlie into the building and up the elevator.

As the elevator door opened, Charlie called out, “Nanny Crowley!”

“Charlie,” a surprised British sounding man said.

Urbana lagged behind as she let Charlie take the lead and hug her nanny.

“Look at you,” Crowley said, “You’re s-so big! Last we talked you were planning on making a hotel. How’s-s that going?”

“It’s been rough, but I have a patient already,” Charlie said, “But I’m not here to talk about me. I have a friend that could use your help.”

Urbana could feel his eyes on her.

“What’s-s a living mortal doing down here,” he asked.

Urbana explained to him what happened to her. Unsurprisingly, he laughed up a storm.

“You were being a little too cheeky then, weren’t ya,” Crowley said once he had stopped laughing.

“Yes, sir,” Urbana said as she looked around the shutdown office building.

“S-so what are you wanting me to do,” Crowley asked.

“You’re not going to stay here long, right,” Charlie stated, then she asked, “Will you take her with you back to the mortal realm?”

“Oh, Charlie,” Crowley said, like he knew he was going to disappoint her, “You know the bureaucracy of Hell is-s complicated and time consuming. Then there’s-s the purge that’ll be happening s-soon, forcing all exits-s to be closed until the purge is-s over.”

“I just thought you’d be able to pop her back into the mortal realm,” Charlie said, “She doesn’t belong here.”

“I know,” Crowley said, “Hey, mortal woman.”

“Yes, sir?” she said.

“What was-s your life plan before you got down here,” he asked.

“I would become a beloved comic book artist and my works would become so popular that people would want to make movies and tv shows from them,” Urbana said, “I would die and go to Heaven, because I worked hard to be a good person, and I would have been so good that God would have given me a metal for how good I was, then I would punch God in the face for being a jerk, then I would be placed down here and I would help Charlie with her hotel and punch her father in the face for also being a jerk.”

Crowley was laughing up a storm again while Charlie said nervously, “Don’t speak about Grandma and my Dad like that.”

“I’m sorry,” Urbana told Charlie, “You just have horrible family members.”

Charlie said nothing while Crowley said, “You know what. If you s-survive the purge, I’ll do whatever I can to get you out of Hell.”

“Thanks,” Urbana said, she didn’t really feel all that hopeful after being in Hell for a week and she was starting to think she wasn’t going to make it through the purge.

“Now get going you two,” Crowley said, “I don’t want to come back and hear that my favorite baby got killed by destruction angels-s.”

“Okay, Nanny Crowley,” Charlie said sounding as dejected as Urbana felt.

Urbana and Charlie were being driven back to the hotel. Neither one of them had anything to really say since both of them felt hopeless, but it gave Urbana a moment to think.

“Charlie,” Urbana said.

“Hmm?”

“I really am sorry,” she said, “I shouldn’t’ve said I would punch your dad and grandma because they were jerks and I shouldn’t have said that you have horrible family members. I know what it’s like having a complicated relationship with your family, so I shouldn’t have said all that stuff.”

“Thank you,” Charlie said, “I’m sorry too. I thought I could get you out of Hell before you’d have to survive the purge. I can tell that being here in Hell has been draining on you without having to deal with all that.”

“Yah.”

There was the sound of a sonic boom. Charlie and Urbana looked out of the limo windows to see that the pentagram red sky was opened up to a harsh white light and dark figures were flying down upon Hell like a dark swarm of locus.

“It’s begun,” was all that Charlie said.

Urbana and Charlie got to the hotel and Charlie dragging Urbana behind her, locked the hotel entrance with her magic, then pulled her down into a bunker that was below the basement. Everyone else were already down there, ready to weather the angelic killing spree.

Vaggie went up to Charlie, hugging her in relief, “I’m so glad you’re safe. It was dangerous going out there so close to purging time.”

“I know,” Charlie said, “I just had to try one more thing to get her out of here.”

The foundation above them shook making dust fall on them.

Trying to not look anyone in the eye, Urbana went to sit next to Angel while he was making kissy noises at Fat Nuggets.

Alastor and Husk were conversing with each other, and every time dusk was kicked up because of what was happening above, Niffty would start cleaning again. There was one large hard shake, like half of the hotel collapsed on itself from something slamming into it. Urbana knew that Beetlejuice wouldn’t come to her call, but she felt compelled to try and summon him.

Beetlejuice appeared before her.

“Finally! You tried summoning me again,” Beetlejuice said, “It’s absolutely bonkers out there.”

Urbana immediately tackled him into a hug.

“I thought I’d never see your ugly mug again,” Urbana said.

“Same with you,” Beetlejuice said as he hugged her back. Then he said, “Now let’s get you out of here.”

With a snap of his fingers, Beetlejuice and Urbana were standing in the main entrance hall of the Addams family mansion. Her relief was instantaneous.

“I don’t know about you, but I could go for a drink,” he said.

Urbana slapped his shoulder and said, “No!”


	30. Keeping Promises and Taking New Jobs

It’s been a week since her return from Hell. Urbana doesn’t know how to feel about herself. Sure, she’s happy to be out of there, but for better or for worst, she did make friends in Hell and she felt bad for leaving without saying goodbye. Urbana supposed that she should just be grateful that the Addams family had the idea to turn off the ghost barrier for Beetlejuice so that they could get home like the way they did.

Sleeping has been hard for her. She thought that once she was back at home, back in her own bed that she wouldn’t have those weird dreams that she had while she was in Hell, but they kept persisting. Maybe it’s the worry of being fired and trying to find a new job or maybe it’s her worry for her mother and grandmother since Rosie helped jailbreak Beetlejuice or maybe it’s her worry over whether or not she should tell Hellboy that he has a half-sister or it’s Lexington and Pugsley’s pestering questions of what Hell was like that was getting on her nerves.

Urbana looked at the contact list on her phone while she laid on the living room couch. She was contemplating on whether or not she should call Scarlet and ask them how they delt with the whiplash of coming out of Hell, but Urbana felt guilty for the types of questions she asked about them while in Hell. _He didn't abuse them too much, did he?_ Urbana already knew the answer. She didn’t understand why she asked something like that. What was she thinking?... She wasn’t.

Fu Dog walked in holding a newspaper and he sat in the recliner chair to read then take a nap. Urbana’s eyes caught sight of Troll Jim’s contact info on her phone. She hasn’t heard anything from him since she told him not to contact her. She thought it might be time to pay him a visit again and help Draal out if he’s still haunting his friend.

Urbana called Jim up and told him that she was ready to do her ghost thing and help him speak with Draal, and Jim told her that he would see her at the abandoned parking lot they first met in tomorrow after sunset. They both hung up on each other and Urbana continued to blankly stare at the celling of the living room while on the couch.

“Hey kid,” Fu Dog said.

“Yah?”

“If you can’t find a job with the normies, I know a few people willing to pay you for your type of services,” he said.

“Art commissions?” Urbana asked.

“N-no. I was talking about your way with ghosts,” Fu Dog said, “I know some people who are having problems with ghosts.”

“Oh.”

“But I’m sure I can find someone who’ll want to buy art from you,” he said.

“Mmm.”

# # #

It was after sundown and Urbana was waiting in the abandoned parking lot like she was asked to do. Beetlejuice was with her as her bodyguard. Urbana was listening to music on her phone while fidgeting with the shoulder strap of the shoulder bag that held all of the things that she needed to do her job. Once the light was completely gone, Urbana watched Jim come out of the foliage that was growing beside the abandoned parking lot. Draal was floating behind him.

Urbana took her headphones out to hear Jim say, “Hey. Good to see you. I kind of though you weren’t ever going to call me.”

“Sorry about that. I’ve been having a pretty bad couple of weeks,” Urbana said, “but I appreciate you keeping your side of our verbal agreement.”

“Of course,” Jim said, “Um. Is that thing that turning into a giant snake here?”

Urbana turned to Beetlejuice and said, “I think it’ll be best if you made yourself visible to him and the others.”

Beetlejuice crossed his arms and put on a pouty face, but he made himself visible. It made Jim jump back in surprise like a cat mistaking a cucumber for a snake.

“Shall we get going?” she asked.

“Right,” Jim said as he stared at Beetlejuice, “This way.”

The two of them followed Jim through the unkept foliage of the area. As they walked Urbana chatted up Draal.

“So, tell me, Draal. How did you get your title?” she asked him.

“I got it by being the fiercest warrior on the battlefield,” he answered.

“That’s nice, but what made you stand out from the rest,” Urbana asked, “I mean, sure you fight good, but what made you better than the best?”

“I was the fiercest,” Draal said, “That’s all there was to it.”

“Okay,” Urbana said.

“Why are you asking me these useless questions,” he asked.

“Well for starters so I can get to know you. We did kind of get off on the wrong foot and everything,” Urbana said, “And second of all, I don’t know a lot about magic or anything but I know that if I seem untrustworthy in any way I’ll be labeled as an enemy despite telling the truth of seeing you and talking to you.”

“Am I that obvious,” Jim said over his shoulder.

“No, that’s just my experience,” Urbana told him.

“I know a lot of people have made the mistake of thinking I’m a magical being instead of only being dead,” Beetlejuice told Jim.

“Well, don’t worry,” Jim said, “I believe in ghosts. I’m actually counseled by the Trollhunters of the past.”

“That’s neat,” Urbana said.

They came upon a clearing and it was a small dried up pond with an abandoned bridge hanging over it.

“That’s a pretty picture,” Urbana said.

“This area must have been an old park or something,” Beetlejuice stated as they followed Jim and Draal underneath the bridge.

Jim took out the elongated crystal rock key and drew a half circle on the left side of the bridge that made a wall when it connected with the ground. The wall revealed stairs made out of white crystals.

“Watch your head,” Jim advised as he walked down into the entrance he made.

Urbana and Beetlejuice followed him down. While they walked down, Draal was asking Beetlejuice how he’s able to make the living see him so effortlessly and Beetlejuice happily obliged.

“Welcome back to New Trollmarket,” Jim said at the end of the stars.

For Urbana, it was nice to finally appreciate the way the underground town looked like a city on a hill, with the giant reddish-purple crystal at the top like it’s the castle. Once they crossed the crystal bridge over Frozen Flame Canyon it dissipated.

“Hey, so why are you taking me back here?” Urbana asked, “We can do what I have planned anywhere.”

“Yah, well, Blinky wanted to talk with you again,” Jim said, “and Claire and Toby want to be able to talk with Draal after I’m done. A lot of people miss him.”

“Awe! You’re so loved,” Urbana cooed at Draal.

“I know,” Draal said, “I already have an idea of what they all want to say to me. I just want to be heard.”

“Okay,” Urbana told him, “I’ll make sure that you get to talk first.”

“I kind of figured that I would,” Jim said as they neared New Trollmarket.

“I’m talking to Draal,” Urbana clarified.

“Sorry,” Jim said.

The all walked in silence and Jim lead Urbana through town and up the stairs to Blinky’s study. The blue troll with four arms and six eyes wasn’t alone as an older looking white-peach colored troll with goat like horns was reading over Blinky’s shoulder and Toby was examining a rock that looked like he took it off a display.

“Ah, ha, ha! I’m delighted to see you again, Miss Urbana,” Blinky said when he looked up from the book he was reading. He went over to Urbana and shook her hand with his two top hands, “Did you have a nice walk here?”

“I did, Mr. Galadrigal,” Urbana said, “It’s nice not being forcibly dragged down here. You have a beautiful home.”

“Thank you,” Blinky said as he let go of her hand, “We’ve been here for two and a half years and we are still getting settled in, despite having most of are necessary amenities.”

“Hey, ghost lady,” Toby greeted.

“Hey, roof slipper,” Urbana greeted back.

“Where’s Claire,” Jim asked.

“She’s at the training sight helping Aaarrrgghh fix some of the kinks,” Toby answered.

Jim sighed then said, “It broke down again?”

“Unfortunately, yes,” Blinky confirmed.

“I’ll go get her and maybe help if they still haven’t fixed what’s wrong with it,” Jim said as he started to leave. Then to Urbana he asked, “You don’t need much setting up, do you?”

Urbana shook her head then Jim left.

Blinky started examining Beetlejuice.

“Fascinating.”

“Thanks. I think I’m good looking too,” Beetlejuice said.

“How long have you been dead, human spirit,” Blinky asked.

Beetlejuice handed Blinky his card that had his name on it, then he pointed at it and said, “That’s my name and I think I’ve been dead for six hundred years, give or take a few decades.”

Toby and Blinky bombarded Beetlejuice with questions, but he didn’t mind. He liked the attention. While that was happening, Urbana went up to the old troll that Draal decided to stand next to.

“I’m telling you, if Blinky would just get Muck, she’d be able to fix the Trollhunter training grounds in no time,” the old troll said.

“Don’t complain to me, Vendel,” Draal said, “You should speak with the fleshbag that can see us.”

Vendel turned his attention to Urbana who was patiently waiting for her turn to talk.

“Who’s Muck?” Urbana asked Vendel.

Blinky stood at attention, at hearing the troll’s name. He then went up to Urbana and asked, “How do you know that name?”

“Mr. Galadrigal, I’m glad that you’re curious and what not, but I’m in the middle of a conversation with—”

“Vendel,” the old troll said.

“—with Vendel,” Urbana said, “and you’re being rude.”

“Vendel! Uhhh. My apologies,” Blinky said as he took a step back.

Urbana turned back to the old troll and said, “Anyways. My question.”

“Muck is the greatest builder of Blinkous’s time,” Vendel said, “She’s built amazing architecture, puzzles, traps, and she’s the one that built the training grounds back at Heartstone Trollmarket. If anyone can help with the constantly breaking down training grounds here, she can.”

“Cool,” Urbana said as she pulled out a notepad and a pencil from her shoulder bag, then asked, “Do you know where we can find her?”

Vendel described where they could find Muck and Urbana wrote it all down and she double check with the old troll to make sure she got it right. Then Urbana handed the directions to Blinky.

“Here you go boss man. Directions to finding Ms. Muck,” Urbana said.

Blinky took the directions, skeptical at first, but then as he read through the directions, wonderous joy replaced his skepticism.

“This is stupendous! Thank you so much,” Blinky said.

“Thank Vendel,” Urbana corrected him.

“Oh of course,” Blinky said, “Thank you, old friend.”

Vendel nodded at him and Urbana said that he said, your welcome.

“Okay, now about Draal,” Urbana said, “Do you guys have anything that he was emotionally connected to. It specifically needs to be an item.”

“There was my first weapon that I trained with,” Draal said, “Do they have that?”

Urbana asked Toby and Blinky about it and they said no. So Draal listed off a few other items he says that he was attached to and Urbana listed them off to Blinky and Toby as well, but each item was dismissed.

“Okay then, where can we find his old stuff,” Urbana asked.

“Back at are old home in Heartstone,” Blinky said.

“No!” Toby lamented, “That place is full of troll zombies.”

“Oh, that’s no trouble at all,” Urbana said.

“I’m sorry. What?” Toby said.

“I’ll write a note for your Trollhunter,” Urbana said. Then she wrote down where they were going and stuck it on Blinky’s reading table, “Okay, Mr. Galadrigal. Lead the way.”

“You can’t be serious,” Toby said.

“I’m not going to force you to come,” Urbana said as Blinky was already out the door, “You can stay and make sure Jim, Claire, and Aaarrrgghh get the note.”

“Only I’ll call you a scaredy cat baby boy,” Beetlejuice said as he followed Urbana out the door.

“Oh, no you don’t,” Toby said as he ran after them.

Blinky parked the gyres, the circular train thing that Urbana crashed outside of New York, at its designated place at the abandoned old Heartstone Trollmarket. Stepping out of the parking area for the gyres, everyone saw how gray and dead Heartstone looked in comparison to New Trollmarket.

“Man. What happened to your old home,” Urbana asked.

“The Pale Lady,” Draal said.

“Morgana,” Blinky said.

“Like, _the_ Morgana. From the fairytales?” Urbana asked to clarify.

“The one and only,” Blinky confirmed.

Toby whimpered, saying, “Guys. Look.”

Everyone looked to where Toby was pointing, and they saw a large troll in armor, clamoring towards them.

Urbana patted Toby’s shoulder, then said, “Please, relax.” Then Urbana trotted up to the zombie troll.

As Urbana neared, the zombie troll raised its fists up in the air, getting ready to crush Urbana, but as she reached the zombie troll, she placed a hand on its abdomen. This made the zombie troll freeze its movements. After a moment of no response, Urbana decided to speak to them.

“Hey, weary warrior. You don’t need to fight anymore. You should rest,” Urbana told it.

There was another pause. Then Urbana felt the zombie troll shudder under her touch, then it crumbled to dust.

“Okay, wasn’t expecting that to happen,” Urbana said.

Toby and Blinky ran up to Urbana to get a better look, with Beetlejuice and Draal floating above them.

“That was amazing,” Toby said, “You barely lifted a finger to defeat it.”

“I didn’t defeat it,” Urbana said, “The poor thing was just tired and afraid.”

“Fascinating… Come children,” Blinky said, “Follow me.”

Everyone followed Blinky through the ruins of Heartstone to Draal’s home, with Urbana running interference with the zombie trolls every time one would appear. Each time she touched them and tried to have a conversation with them, they would always turn to dust.

“Okay, seriously,” Toby said, “You’ve got to teach me how you’re doing that.”

“First of all, I’m doing it on accident. Second of all, I was born with this. I can’t really teach you anything, unless you’re just curious and not wanting to use is,” Urbana said, “Cause if you try to do what I’m doing, I can assure you that the outcomes will be drastically different.”

“Okay. Okay. I understand,” Toby said.

“Here we are,” Blinky said, “Draal’s abode.”

It looked more like rubble than anything, but everyone shifted through it to try and find something that Draal would be emotionally attach enough to, but each item they found just didn’t seem to click with him.

“I’m not seeing any of the things that I was particularly emotionally connected to,” Draal said.

“Did you live anywhere else,” Urbana asked.

“Oh! He did,” Toby said.

After exiting the old Trollmarket, Toby lead everyone back to Jim’s house. Toby rang the doorbell, and everyone waited. A skinny green troll, with horns on the back of his head, half covered by grey and white long hair, wings tucked tight to his back and was wearing only a loincloth opened the door. In his arms was a red-haired baby that he was bottle feeding.

“Ah, Blinkous. Tobias. What brings you two back home this fine evening and with visitors,” the green troll asked, referring to Urbana and Beetlejuice.

“We’re here to inspect the basement,” Toby said, “We’re trying to find an item that Draal’s emotionally attached to.”

The green troll stepped aside to let everyone in, but he asked, “Why?”

“It’s part of the ritual that I’m going to do to help Jim speak with his friend again,” Urbana said.

“Oh,” He grumbled as he closed the door, “So, you’re a necromancer. Those practices are illegal.”

“I most certainly am not a necromancer. Necromancy implies that I force the dead to do my bidding. What I try to do is help the living communicate with the ones they lost,” Urbana clarified.

“A Medium,” he asked.

“A Medium with extra steps, so actually, I’m a Large,” Urbana joked.

Urbana and Beetlejuice laughed at her stupid joke together.

“Urbana,” Toby called from the basement, “We need you to tell us what Draal thinks!”

“Coming,” Urbana said as she went to see what they found.

Toby was holding up a board game for a DnD play through.

“Draal, Aaarrrgghh, and Blinky loved playing this game together when they couldn’t leave during the day,” he said.

Urbana was going to ask Draal how that made him feel but then she saw him hovering over an old dirty blanket that was sticking out from behind the water heater. Urbana went over and picked it up.

“Something you want to say about this blanket, Draal,” Urbana asked.

“Jim gave this blanket to me when I decided to be his protector,” Draal said, “I would use it to help me hide and it was a great pillow.”

“Alright guys. I think we have our winner,” Urbana said as she folded up the old, dirty blanket.

“Wonderful,” Blinky said, “Let’s get back.”

“Seriously,” Toby said, “An old blanket?”

Urbana only shrugged at the rotund teenager as she made her way upstairs.

As everyone was going back out, Urbana stopped to speak with the green troll.

“I’m Urbana by the way,” she said.

“You can call me Strickler,” he said as his was trying to burp his baby.

“I’ll be sure to tell your son that you and your wife said hi,” Urbana told him.

Strickler looked surprised that she said that, but Urbana didn’t think anything of it as they left Jim’s home and made their way back to Heartstone so that they could ride the gyres back to New Trollmarket.

Once they were back in Blinky’s office, Urbana saw that Jim, Claire, and Aaarrrgghh were back from the training grounds, with Vendel talking to the most upsetting looking ghost, Urbana had ever seen. She screamed at the sight of him.

“What’s wrong,” Jim asked but Urbana only shoved the old blanket into his grasp as she went up to the ghost troll.

“What happened to you,” Urbana asked as she grabbed his right clawed hand, examining the dark spots on it. There were pieces of him missing, not like he was mimicking the way his decaying body would look like, no, the missing pieces of him were shadowy, like parts of his soul were gone. His right eye was shadowy, he was missing his left arm with the nub radiating shadow, his torso looked like a swissed cheese of shadow, and his right foot was gone with shadow radiating from his ankle nub.

“It’s like someone took your soul, shattered it into pieces, then half assed putting you together again,” Urbana exclaimed, “Who did this to you! I’m going to fucking end them.”

The troll said nothing, surprised by her ferocity and by the fact that she could see him.

Claire asked, “Are-are you talking to Angor Rot?”

Urbana turned around and asked, “Who?”

“Me. That’s my name,” Angor Rot said.

“Oh. Then yes, I am,” Urbana said, but she sighed then said, “But I’m getting distracted. I’m sorry to ask this of you, sir, but can I ask you to leave the immediate premises. Just for a little while. Doing the ritual is going to require concentration and I’m going to be distracted with you here. Beetlejuice, will you keep him company?”

“Oh, there’s no need—” Angor Rot tried to say but Beetlejuice already had an arm around him.

“Too late, my friend,” Beetlejuice said, “The lady has spoken. Let’s go.”

Then Beetlejuice skyrocketed them both through the roof of Blinky’s study.

Urbana took a couple of deep breathes then said, “I’m sorry about that. I’ve never seen a spirit in his condition before, but I’m ready to focus.” Urbana then took the blanket back from Jim, then she quickly went over the notes in Bubble’s diary to make sure she remembered everything right, and she did, then she got out a piece of chalk from her shoulder bag as she was putting away the diary then said, “Okay. Now I now everyone’s excited to see and talk to Draal, but you all need to let Draal speak his mind first. Okay?”

Everyone agreed.

Urbana moved a few things out of her way. Then she drew a circle and placed the blanket in the center. Then she made a second circle an arm’s length away and she asked Draal to stand in it. Then she made a third circle an arm’s length away from the other two circles.

“Now, before I continue, this ritual will only last for as long as Draal’s sentimental strength for his blanket will last, so your talking time may be ten minutes or it’ll be hours so if you see him fading that just means that the emotional power in the item is almost depleted,” Urbana explained, “I also want you all to know that you may be able to see and speak with him, but you won’t be able to touch him and any attempt to move me, the item, or Draal will immediately end the ritual and you all won’t be able to see him anymore.”

“Okay,” Jim said, “We understand.”

Urbana nodded then she stepped into her circle. She bent down and touched the circle containing the blanket with her chalk. She focused on the energy inside herself, thinking of it as a large pitcher of water but she only needed to pour a little bit out. While she focused, she was absentmindedly humming the song, _Show Yourself_ from _Frozen 2_. She felt her energy flow from her center, down her arm, and following the chalk. She heard everyone gasp and it made her open her eyes. She saw the chalk circle glowing gold like her Spirit Balls do, then the blanket glowed gold.

Urbana gently and slowly drew a line from the blanket’s circle to Draal’s circle. The golden energy lagging behind the chalk line by only a few centimeters. Once the two circles were connected, the golden light surrounded Draal’s circle and a golden outline of the dead troll was visible to everyone, but he wasn’t completely visible, not yet. Urbana then drew a line from Draal’s circle to hers. Once the energy came back to her, it felt like electricity or how being hit with a wave feels. Urbana couldn’t see it, but to everyone else, her eyes glowed golden light and her hair was moving on its own also sparkling with golden light. Urbana then connected her circle to the blanket’s circle and that feeling of electricity and turbulent waves evened out. To Urbana, it felt like the energy was now a large lake, with a sink sized drain at its bottom. Urbana sat down in her circle while everyone else cheered at finally seeing Draal.

Over the course of five hours, Draal was able to speak his mind and then everyone else was able to talk to him and tell him what they miss about him and everyone was happy that they were able to hear his response and see his reaction. Trolls coming to see Blinky for advice or to get away from someone, would then talk to Draal and tell him how they miss him or wish him well. Even Nomura, the purple, dule wielding scythe troll lady, had something to say to Draal, even though it wasn’t much.

Too soon for everyone else, the emotional energy in the blanket was running out, and Draal was fading out of everyone’s sight and hearing range. Everyone said their goodbyes, while Draal happily said his goodbye. Soon he was nothing but his golden outline and then the golden light dissipated. The blanket wasn’t shinning gold anymore, Draal was unseeable and unhear-able again, and Urbana’s eyes and hair went back to normal.

Urbana then flopped on her back, stretching out her arms and legs and yawning, said, “Ooooh, I got pins and needles in my legs and ass. Ow.”

Jim and Blinky came over to Urbana and help her get steady on her feet.

Once she was able to stand on her own, Jim said, “Thank you for doing this for us.”

“Eh, a promise is a promise,” Urbana said, “Besides, I’ve been wanting to test out that ritual.”

“Do you know what kind of magic you’re doing,” Claire asked.

“I don’t think it’s magic,” Urbana said, “Some magic you can learn through study. What I do is purely because I was born with it.”

“Oh,” Claire said.

“Now I would love to go over Bubble’s diary with you about Spirit Cleansing, Spirit Healing, and his other rituals, but I would like someone to direct me to the nearest toilet,” Urbana said.

“Follow me,” Jim said.

After using the bathroom, Jim lead Urbana back to the surface and before she left, she told Jim that his dad and mom said hi. Jim seemed confused but Urbana didn’t think anything of it since she was tired and was ready to get some sleep.

In her car she found Beetlejuice and Angor Rot in Urbana’s back seat. Angor Rot looked absolutely done with Beetlejuice while Beetlejuice was telling him a story. It looked like to Urbana that he was talking Angor Rot’s ear off. Good thing he doesn’t have any.

“You can go back to the person that you’re haunting now,” Urbana told him.

Angor Rot immediately flew out of Urbana’s car and went below ground.

Then Urbana drove home.

# # #

Urbana was startled awake in her room. She had the worst nightmare that she’s ever had in a long time. She felt personally attacked by her nightmare. She turned to her left to see Gizmo on top of her extra pillow, sleeping soundly. Urbana then got the idea to look under her bed. She saw a shadowy figure hanging from the bottom of her bed.

“Morning, Pitch,” Urbana said.

Pitch creepily crawled out from under her bed, then stood before her like crawling out from underneath someone’s bed is a dignified matter.

“I’ve heard on the wind that you wished to see me again,” Pitch said, then with a smug smile he asked, “Do you regret it?”

“No.” She said simply, “Because you need to hear what I need to say.”

Pitch raised an eyebrow at her and internally he couldn’t believe that he was entertaining her, but he stayed.

“I want to say that I’m sorry for kissing you,” Urbana said, “I shouldn’t have done that, and I won’t do it to you ever again.”

“I’m never going to forgive you,” Pitch said spitefully.

Urbana shrugged, then said, “That’s fine. I’m not apologizing to you to get forgiveness. You just deserve to be told sorry.”

Pitch was furious. He wanted to see her frustrated, angry, scared. Instead she was tired, calm, and accepting. It made Pitch feel like he was the child out of their conversation, and he didn’t like that.

As Urbana got out of bed, she asked him, “Do you want some tea before you leave?”

A scowl on his face, Pitch twisted himself into tendrils of shadow, then dove back under Urbana’s bed. Urbana bent down to look but he was gone. Urbana looked at the time on her phone on her nightstand, and it said 5am. Scratching herself under her charm necklace, Urbana shrugged, then made her way downstairs to drink some lavender tea.

As Urbana was making her way downstairs, Urbana saw Lexington, Brooklyn, and Broadway leaning over the stairwell, looking like they were listening in on someone. As she got closer to them, she could hear that they had guests, and Gomez and Morticia were talking with them.

“How do we have guests,” Urbana whispered to them.

“We don’t know,” Lexington said, “We didn’t hear that part.”

“They sound destressed though,” Broadway said.

“It could be a trap,” Brooklyn stated.

“Alright, stay here,” Urbana said.

Urbana walked all the way down the stairs and went to stand beside Morticia. Morticia squeezed Urbana’s shoulder as a good morning greeting while she focused on their conversation with the two adults. One was a woman, and one was a man. Both of them looked like they were in their early thirties. The woman had reddish-purple hair put in a bun. She was wearing a violet colored winter jacket and a pair of parachute pants and brown snow boots. Urbana’s initial impression of her was that she seemed like the science-y type. The man had shoulder length black greasy hair. He was wearing a black jacket and a pair of earmuffs as projection from the January cold, also wearing a thin red t-shirt, a pair of blue sweatpants and worn out sneakers. Urbana could tell that he’s a man that works out regularly.

“What’s Talon’s human name again,” the woman asked the man.

“I don’t know,” he said in a heavy Brooklyn accent, “I’ve just always called him that.”

“Anyways, we know it’s suspicious, but Talon’s sister did give us her charm necklace and gave us directions here,” the woman said.

“If this sister knows us. Then why hasn’t she called us and told us about you,” Gomez asked.

The man and woman looked between them with worry.

While the two strange adults continued to try and explain themselves, Urbana watched a blue astral projection of a large rat walk through the door. That wasn’t the bad part. The bad part was, as she was looking the giant rat over, she could see that he looked spiritly crushed as he was walking in with a limp and was holding his arm, but worst of all for Urbana, she could see his umbilical cord, that connects his spirit to his body, looked tattered and ready to snap. The giant rat was at death’s door.

“My sons,” the rat called out, “Where are my sons.”

Urbana shoved the man and woman aside, picked up the rat man, then followed his tattered umbilical cord to the back of the stranger’s white van. Urbana flung open the van’s back door to see five injured people. The giant rat, being the most injured looked with four large turtles also injured, but not as badly as the rat man. Half of them were awake, a turtle wearing a blue mask and a turtle wearing a red mask were watching over the other three. They said nothing as they stared at Urbana.

“What did you see,” Morticia called from the front door. The man and woman were looking at her in fear, like they were scared of what Urbana will say or do to the people they were hiding in their van.

“We need to get to Cousin It’s clinic, now,” Urbana said, “Gomez! You drive us there.”

“On it,” Gomez said without hesitation as he ran for the front seat.

The two adults followed him. The man got in the passenger’s seat in the front, and the woman got in the back of the van with Urbana. Urbana laid the rat’s astral projection on her left side while his body was on her right.

While Gomez was driving them to Cousin It, Urbana said, “This old man is at death’s door. He may not make it, but I’m going to try and give him some time.”

The rat’s astral projection was still mumbling on about trying to find his sons. Urbana grabbed him by his face and said, “Hey, your sons are fine. I need you to focus on yourself right now,” Urbana then pointed at the turtle with the red mask and said, “Hold his hand. He need’s comfort from you.”

He obliged.

Urbana then picked up the rat’s astral projected hand and beckoned the turtle in the blue mask over to her and told him to lay his hand on the palm of her hand, “I know it’s weird, but he needs to know you all are safe.”

The turtle with the blue mask hesitated, since her hand looked empty to him, but he obliged.

The rat’s astral projection looked like he was calming down, so Urbana then picked up the fraying umbilical cord. She focused on the energy within herself. She didn’t want to overwhelm the rat’s spirit, with her own, so she had to make sure that she slowly and steadily poured herself into him, filling in and strengthening the umbilical cord.

The turtle in the blue mask thought she wasn’t doing anything, but he did appreciate the focus the she was executing, but then for a split second, he thought he saw his father laying on her left and her eyes almost seemed to glow gold.

Gomez got them to Cousin It’s clinic. Professionals came in and took the rat’s body out of the van. Urbana only moved to get out of their way, but she stayed focused and stayed beside the astral projection in the van with the lady and the four turtles, while Gomez and the man followed the rat man’s body.

Urbana sat, unwavering. Eventually, she stopped holding the rat man’s hand so that she could put both of her hands on his spiritual umbilical cord, bettering her focus.

“Um, who’s that,” one of the turtles asked with a yawn.

“Don’t know,” the woman said, “but she got us to a hospital. Maybe you four should go in so you can get yourselves checked out.”

“I’m going to stay here,” the turtle with the blue mask said, “She might need me to do something for Master Splinter.”

“I don’t think she’s actually doing anything,” the turtle in the red mask said, “I bet she’s faking it.”

“No, Raph,” the turtle wearing the blue mask said, “I know I saw something.”

“Something?” the awake turtle questioned, “Come on, Leo.”

“Look, I know what I saw, Mikey,” Leo said.

There was a moment of silence, then Urbana felt someone slap the back of her head. It wasn’t hard, but if she wasn’t as focused as she was, it’d probably make her want to see who would do that.

There was the sound of bodies banging against metal and the van shook.

“What is wrong with you,” Leo said.

“What’s wrong with you,” Raph said back.

“What’s going on,” the last turtle asked, being suddenly awaken.

“Guys, stop,” the woman said, “We’ve all been too cooped up in this van. Everyone out.”

Leo and Raph grumbled at each other while the woman and Mikey helped the turtle wearing a purple mask limp out of the back of the van. Urbana stayed in the van, sitting beside the unmoving astral projection of Master Splinter for three hours. Then half an hour in, Master Splinter’s astral projection sat up. To Urbana, he didn’t seem like he was spiritually broken anymore, at least, not as badly as he was.

Master Splinter placed a blue hand on her hands then said, “You can stop now.”

Urbana stopped and inspected his umbilical cord. It still looked delicate instead of being strong and rubbery like a healthy spiritual umbilical cord would look like, but it was stable. His body must be stable as well in the clinic.

“You’re a long way from recovery, but now you can recover,” Urbana said, then she sneezed, unable to ignore the cold like she was.

“Let’s get you inside,” Master Splinter said.

As she got out of the van with Master Splinter’s astral projection, she asked, “What happened to you guys?”

“We were helping Ms. Maza and her brother Talon figure out what the Foot Clan’s agenda was, when our home in the sewers became compromised,” Master Splinter said as he lead her inside the clinic, “They were using weapons of technological advancement that we haven’t seen before. Apparently, their goal is to protect man kind from all alien life forms, but they aren’t afraid to use their weapons against the people they say they want to protect.”

“Makes me think there’s more to it than just that,” Urbana said.

Master Splinter nodded his blue furry head in agreement.

Once inside the clinic, she sighed at feeling warm.

Urbana found Gomez with their guests. The one wearing a purple mask had his foot in a cast, while Mikey had his left hand in a sling and cast. Raph and Leo had different places where they were wrapped up in gauze, but they didn’t have any broken bones.

“Gomez, will you get me some hot chocolate,” Urbana asked him.

“Of course,” He said, “I’ll be back.” Then he left her with the strangers.

“Hi, I’m—” The woman started to introduce herself, but Urbana interrupted her.

“Up, bup, bup,” she said, then she turned to the rat and asked, “Master Splinter. Will you tell me their names?”

Raph rolled his eyes, while Urbana listened to Splinter tell her their names.

Urbana then pointed at the woman and said, “April O’Neil,” then she pointed at the man and said, “Casey Jones,” then she pointed at the turtle wearing the purple mask and said, “Donatello,” then she pointed at the last three turtles and said their full names at them instead of calling them by their shortened versions that she heard in the van.

“Okay,” Mikey said, “I’m impressed and I would clap if I could.”

“Neat trick,” Raph said, sounding suspicious.

“I’m not trying to do a trick,” Urbana said, “I just want you to understand that your father’s spirit is here, and that I didn’t like that you slapped me when I was trying to help him.”

Raph, with his arms crossed over his chest, looked away from Urbana when Gomez came up with a cup of coco.

“Here, my Dear,” he said as he handed her the cup.

Urbana took it gratefully then took a sip. It warmed her right up.

Then she asked, “How is he by the way?”

“We don’t know yet,” April said, “He’s still in the surgery room.”

“Well, then, I’m sure he’ll make it out of it soon,” Urbana said.

An hour and a half later, Gomez was getting his explanation as to why their new guests called Elisa’s brother, Talon instead of Derek, when a nurse came up to them and told them that he was out of surgery and was asleep. He said that the doctors managed to stop his internal bleeding and reset his ribs and have him on a respirator.

“It’s nice that such a small town has a clinic like this,” Casey said, “It’s a bit suspicious though.”

“Oh, that’s just because we heavily donate to Cousin It’s clinic,” Gomez explained, “and the mayor dedicates two present of our town taxes to this clinic since Cousin It is one of the best doctors in the United States.”

No one could say anything about that.

The nurse said, “We’ll be keeping him here for a few months. You can go home if you wish.” Then he left.

Gomez stood up and stretched, then he said, “Alright, everyone, lets head back to the mansion so we can get you all situated.”

“I would like to stay,” Leo said.

“Tell my son to go,” Splinter told Urbana, “Tell him I will be fine.”

Urbana repeated his message to Leo.

“I still would like to stay,” Leo said.

“I know it’s scary to have someone you love in a hospital when they are in critical condition,” Gomez said, “but staying here, making your butt num sitting in the waiting area won’t make him get better faster.”

“Besides, I’ll be accompanying you,” Splinter said.

“No. That’s not a good idea,” Urbana told him, “Your spiritual umbilical cord is still very weak. So don’t overstretch yourself by going beyond the hospital grounds. Okay?”

“Will you stop pretending that you can talk to Master Splinter,” Raph said.

“I apologize for my son,” Splinter said, “He is scared and has never seen me like this before.”

“Yah, I can tell,” Urbana said, “but I understand.”

Raph growled and rubbed his eyes.

Soon everyone was convinced to go back to the mansion.

When Casey parked outside the mansion, and April, Urbana, and the four boys got out of the back of the van, Urbana saw Draal trying to force his way through the ghost barrier. Urbana waited until Gomez had led everyone else inside before going up to speak with the dead troll.

“What are you doing here,” Urbana asked him.

“Ah, I see you weren’t home,” Draal said, “I wanted to talk.”

“Okay, what’s wrong? Is Angor Rot okay?” Urbana asked.

“He’s fine,” Draal said “I’ve been speaking with your human spirit friend—”

“Beetlejuice.”

“—Right. I’ve been speaking with Beetlejuice and I thought I’d be your second protector.”

“Why? You’re dead and you don’t know me. You can technically do whatever you want, like look at you, you’re standing in the morning sunlight, and you’re not turning to stone. You could explore the world without that hinderance,” Urbana said.

“I’m a simple troll,” Draal said, “I like to fight. I like being the best fighter and I want to protect the people I care about. It’s true that I don’t know you enough to care about you like I care about Jim, but you helped us have closure and he doesn’t need me like he used to.”

“And you’re not ready to leave this mortal plane,” Urbana said.

Draal said nothing.

“Alright, wait for me in my car,” Urbana said as she pointed at it, “I have an email to send to a few of my teachers then I need to get to college. I’ll see you in a bit.” Urbana then rushed back into the mansion to get dressed and do what she said she’d do.

# # #

It’s been two weeks since Casey, April, and the turtle gang have moved in with them and it’s been two weeks since they’ve heard anything from Elisa or her brother. Goliath was getting agitated, so Urbana asked Leo for directions to where they last saw Elisa. Urbana then called up Lydia to ask if she was doing anything with Beetlejuice. When she said, nothing, Urbana thanked her then summoned Beetlejuice outside her home.

“Hey, Toots,” Beetlejuice said.

“How do you feel about spying,” Urbana asked him.

“Depends. Who have you been talking to and what have they told you?” Beetlejuice said.

Urbana rolled her eyes, then handed Beetlejuice the directions, “Look. We need someone to go find Elisa and her brother, I included a picture of her with the directions and a description of what her brother looks like, thanks to Lex, so that you can help them if they need it when you find them.”

Beetlejuice saluted her and said, “Okay boss. You can count on me.”

“I’m also sending you with a team,” Urbana said, then she called out, “Reta! Kids! Are you ready to be spies!”

Ten little kids ran towards them.

“Ready an’ reportin’ for duty,” Reta said as she saluted Urbana, with her posse mimicking her.

“You’ll be helping Beetlejuice here find clues to help him find our living friends,” Urbana told them, “So be sure to listen to him.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” Reta said with the other kids echoing her.

“Neat,” Beetlejuice said to Urbana, “We’ll be able to cover more ground this way,” then to the kids he said, “Alright trouble makers, I need to visit a friend real quick then we’ll head for New York.”

The kids cheered then with a snap of Beetlejuice’s finger, everyone disappeared.

Once night fell, Urbana told the Manhattan clan what she did. Goliath was grateful but he wasn’t happy.

“I should be the one out there looking for her,” Goliath lamented, “I shouldn’t have left New York.”

“Dad, we’re here so she could have help protecting us,” Angela said, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“But who’s protecting her,” Goliath asked.

“Well, there’s her brother. Her police captain, Captain Fanzone, and I’m sure she has other friends that are out there that have her back and I’m sure, Beetlejuice, Reta and her gang will be able to find her if she’s not doing radio silence for a reason,” Urbana said.

“You’ve told us that the best we can do is wait and trust in our allies,” Brooklyn told Goliath, “Isn’t this no different?”

Goliath sighed, then smiled at Brooklyn, “You’re right. And I do trust in our new friends.”

“Come,” The old gargoyle, Hudson, said as he grabbed Goliath by the arm, “Let’s watch tv together.”

# # #

Urbana was getting ready to leave the mansion for the day to fulfill a temp job that Fu Dog got for her. Zipping her jumpsuit up as she was making her way out, she said goodbye to everyone she passed. Haley and Trixie. Leo, Mikey, and Don. Lurch, Grandmama, Raven, Red, and Morticia. Once she was walking to her car, she saw Jake and Rose sparing with each other, with Raph being really intense and angry with his personal training. Urbana went up to Jake and Rose.

“He seems to be having fun,” Urbana said.

“Mmm,” they said, sounding unsure.

“I tried to invite him over, but he’s not having it,” Jake said.

“It’s not like we don’t know what he’s going through,” Rose said, “With Elisa missing we don’t have anyone looking for our parents and my sister.”

“That’s not true. Captain Fanzone’s helping with the search,” Urbana said.

“I doubt he knows the whole truth though, like Elisa did,” Rose said.

Urbana couldn’t say anything about that. She just knows that he got involved when Susie wreaked their home.

“I’m going to go talk to him,” Urbana said.

“Good luck,” Jake said.

Urbana walked up behind him and blocked a kick that he was practicing.

“Hey,” Urbana said.

“What do you want,” Raph sneered as he took his leg back.

“Do you want to go on a job with me,” Urbana asked, then sing-songed, “It’ll get you out of the family lot.”

“With a lying freak like you? I don’t think so,” Raph said and he started training again.

Oh, the irony, Urbana thought to herself. Then, because Raph wasn’t expecting it, Urbana disarmed him, then picked him up and threw him over her shoulder, holding his sais in her other hand. Jake and Rose were laughing at the sight while Raph did his best to get out of Urbana’s grasp, but he was at a disadvantage, specifically because Urbana has done this a dozen times with Pugsley.

Urbana threw him in the back of her car, locked him in, then got in the driver’s seat, throwing his sais on the passenger side seat where Draal was sitting.

“Who’s the kappa?” Draal asked.

“Listen Raph, I know you’re scared and angry that you lost your home and you almost lost your dad, but that kind of attitude that you’re throwing at everyone isn’t going to fly in this house hold,” Urbana said as she drove, “You’re coming with me on this job and you’re going to use that anger for something useful.”

Raph stayed silent as he laid in the back of her car. On the drive over to Steven’s house, Draal was telling her about his day and how he’s been chatting with the forest fairy Morgan. Once they all walked up to Steven’s home, Urbana knocked on the glass door covering the screen door. Amethyst opened the door.

“Hey, girl what’s going on,” Amethyst said as she let Urbana and Raph in, “Who’s the angry green dude?”

“This is Raphael. He’s been having a hard couple of weeks, so I forced him to come with me,” Urbana said as she was rustling through her shoulder bag. She pulled out a finished water painting of Amethyst and handed it over to the gem.

“Ah! This looks amazing,” Amethyst said, “I really love your art style.”

“Thanks.”

Raph rolled his eyes and decided to look around the house.

Urbana then leaned in and said to Amethyst, under her breath, “His father is in the hospital and he’s not taking it very well.”

“Why haven’t you asked Steven to heal the man then,” Amethyst whispered back.

“Because I don’t want Steven thinking that that’s all I want in our friendship,” Urbana uttered, “Besides, Splinter will survive, he’ll just heal slowly.”

Amethyst raised an eyebrow at her, but she said nothing, only handing Urbana two twenties for her painting.

“Was this really your job,” Raph asked, “Giving a purple woman a painting?”

“No, that was a different job,” Urbana said, then to Amethyst she asked, “How closet to Florida Island can you get us?”

“I can drop you off at anyone’s front doorstep if you want,” Amethyst said.

“Thanks, that’d be great,” Urbana said.

After warping them onto the island, Amethyst turned into a helicopter and flew Urbana and Raph to where Urbana said to go. Amethyst landed in the middle of a deep dark swamp. Urbana got out the instructions that Fu Dog gave her, then started screaming trollish. Amethyst and Raph gave each other concerning looks, while Draal was giving Urbana pointers on how to better pronounce her trollish.

Soon, little rotund green troll women appeared from underneath murky swamp water, boulders, and large patches of moss. They in circled the three of them once Urbana had finished screaming.

“Quagawump,” Urbana said, “I’ve come because Fu Dog told me you’ve been having ghost problems!”

Raph groaned, but he was overshadowed by the chattering of the swamp trolls. They took hold of everyone’s hands and dragged them to a place that looked like a throne room area. On the seat of the throne sat another Quagawump woman, but she was adorned with pretty, unpolished stones that stuck out of her head and back, making her stand out from the other swamp trolls.

“You help us,” she questioned.

“If you’ll allow it, your majesty,” Urbana said.

She nodded then said, “For one month now, ghosts have been causing trouble. Keep us up all day. Disturbing our night activities. Giving us no peace. Will you rid them for us?”

“Of course,’ Urbana said, “When will the ghosts appear again?”

“They will appear soon,” the Queen said.

“Alright then,” Urbana said with a shrug, then she turned to her comrades and asked, “So, what do you guys want to do while we play the waiting game?”

Raph was unresponsive but Amethyst said, “I’d like to try the local cuisine.”

“Go that way,” the Queen said, pointing to her left.

“Thanks, Queeny,” Amethyst said.

After an hour of waiting, the ghosts appeared like the Queen of the Quagawump said they would. To Amethyst and Raph, it was like a screaming tornado had suddenly appeared and started turning over homes, tables, food, and people. For Draal and Urbana, they could see the army of destressed ghosts of Quagawumps.

Urbana turned to Raph and Amethyst and said, “You two. Make sure the citizens don’t get hurt. Draal and I will find the ringleader of this ghost tornado.”

Raph looked like he had questions, but Amethyst dragged him into helping her get a Quagawump out from under a boulder that fell on them.

“What do you think, Draal,” Urbana asked them as she attempted to calm down the dead swamp trolls one at a time.

Draal pointed up and said, “Her! She’s the ringleader.”

Floating high above them was a ghost who was wailing the loudest among all of the other ghosts. Her ectoplasm tears flowed down her body and surrounded her like a swampy dress.

“Give me a boost,” Urbana told Draal.

He nodded at her as she backed up to run at him. Draal didn’t have the ghostly energy to fly Urbana up to the ringleader ghost, but he was capable of throwing her. Urbana jumped onto Draal and he helped push her high up in the air. Urbana managed to grab the ringleader ghost by her foot.

“Hey! Hey Lady! I see you and I can talk to you! I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong,” Urbana yelled at the dead troll.

“We are defiled! Ruined!” She cried, “We crave to be one with the swamp again. With our home. Return us!”

“Return us!” repeated the ghost tornado, “Return us! Return us! Return us!”

“If that is what you want, I’ll do it,” Urbana said.

The ghost tornado dissipated, and Urbana fell from the sky. Draal caught her, keeping her from falling to her injury.

“Good job,” Urbana told him.

Draal nodded, acknowledging her.

Amethyst and Raph walked up to them and Amethyst said, “Woo. I see your flying skills are still lacking, but good job getting rid of the ghosts.”

“This can’t be ghosts,” Raph said, “There’s no such thing.”

“Dude. You’re a mutant turtle, standing next to an alien made from this planet, surrounded by trolls,” Amethyst said, “and believing that someone has the power to see and hear ghosts is going too far for our reality?”

“His belief in me isn’t important,” Urbana said as she was making her way back to where the Queen resides, “There’s work that still needs to be done.”

Urbana and her comrades were met with cheering as they neared the throne.

“You rid us of ghost!” the Queen proclaimed.

“No. I made a promise,” Urbana said, “Those ghosts weren’t just a random phenomenon. They are your people, and they are in distress. They told me that they’re stone bodies have been moved and that they are being desecrated. Is there anyplace in your lands that has a mass grave? Someplace that was either a battle sight or maybe there was a natural disaster that killed a large portion of your people?”

“There is,” the Queen said, “Deep within our swamp is our Sleeping Mother.”

The Quagawump murmured amongst themselves and Draal gasped.

“Sleeping Mother,” Raph asked.

“It is where all Quagawumps are born and it is where we return as stone. To feed Sleeping Mother,” the Queen said.

“I see,” Urbana said. She got on her knees then said, “By your people’s reaction, I can tell that speaking with an outsider about your Sleeping Mother is taboo, but I must implore you, take us to her so that we might help your people. The living and the dead.”

The Queen of the Quagawumps was silent for a long moment. Then she turned to the Quagawump Soldier standing on her right and said, “Get Priestess. So she might bless them and you go with, to protect the Priestess.”

“Yes, my Queen,” the Soldier said with a bow. Then she hobbled away.

“I know you are taking a risk on us, your Majesty,” Urbana said as she stood back up, “But I will prove to you that we aren’t a risk at all.”

The Queen stood up from her throne and said, “I know a fleshbag. Toby. He lied to us. Said he dead King. But he showed us fun. Saved me and Quagawumps. We understand fleshbags are different to each other. I see you kind. Like Toby. I trust.”

“Your words mean a lot to me, your Majesty,” Urbana said.

The Soldier brought the Priestess. She was draped in long thick blankets of moss. Nothing about her was discernable except for her hands and a walking stick that she carried.

“Take fleshbags to Sleeping Mother,” the Queen of the Quagawumps ordered.

The Priestess bowed and said, “Yes my Queen.”

The Priestess lead them through the swampy forest. The farther in they walked, the darker it became until only glowing mushrooms were their main source of light, despite Urbana’s phone saying it was 1pm. It was winter, but the sun would still be shining bright out, especially in Florida Island.

The Priestess smacked Urbana’s hand that was holding her phone and said, “No outside light.”

“Sorry, Ma’am,” Urbana said as she put away her phone in her shoulder bag.

“Come. I purify you three,” the Priestess said.

“Purify us, how,” Amethyst asked.

“We already smell like death,” Raph said.

They followed the Priestess’s voice, then when Urbana was close enough to her, she was pulled forward and then she was slapped in the middle of her face with a muddy hand. Dirt and who knows what else got into Urbana’s eyes and the same happened to Amethyst and Raph. Urbana and Raph tried wiping away what they could from their eyes.

“You know. I’ve eaten a lot of things in my life, but I’ve got to say this is the strangest tasting stuff I’ve ever eaten,” Amethyst said.

“Don’t eat it,” Raph said.

“Now you pure. Sleeping Mother not waken her wrath on you,” the Priestess said, “Come. Almost there.”

It was easy to tell that they were at the Sleeping Mother’s resting place, because it was alight with construction lights and as they got closer, the five of them could see people digging in where Urbana could only assume was where the Quagawumps bury their dead. The place called Sleeping Mother was deep, like a good-sized meteorite hit this part of Earth. The Soldier made a move to attack but Raph held her back.

“Don’t give away our position,” Urbana told the Soldier, “We don’t want to waist our element of surprise.”

The Soldier shook Raph off her, but she stayed where she was.

Urbana took out her binoculars from her shoulder bag and got a look at the workers. They were the Huntsclan.

“What are they doing here?” Raph growled.

Through the binoculars Urbana could see them pulling out the stone bodies of the Quagawumps. She could see them breaking them apart and shifting through their rubble and picking out certain pieces.

“Draal, I want you down there to listen in on their conversations and learn what you can,” Urbana told him as she handed Raph the binoculars, “Amethyst, I want you to turn into something small so you can sneak in to that science tent to read what they have.”

Draal was already gone when Amethyst shrunk down and shapeshifted into a purple rat. Urbana then slathered her in mud to cover her purple hair and gem. Then Amethyst scampered down into the campsite.

“Raph I want you to work with the Priestess and Soldier on making a stratagem of attack,” she said to him, and to the two Quagawumps she said, “He’s a master ninja. He’ll know how to use your knowledge of your lands to your advantage. We’re going to show those clowns the wrath of Sleeping Mother.”

They all nodded at her and got to work. Urbana kept watch on the camp while Draal and Amethyst took turns coming up to her and telling her little pieces of conversation and bringing her pieces of paper with writings on it that looked like formulas. Together, Urbana pieced together that the Huntsclan are losing their war against the Foot Clan and that the dead troll’s stone bodies have a special material in them that they are planning on using to magically boosting themselves to try and give them an advantage against the Foot.

A couple of hours later, Urbana was informed by Raph that he and the Quagawumps were ready to attack. Urbana got out her sanjiegun from her shoulder bag, then she took off her muddy shoes and socks and put them in her shoulder bag.

“I’m ready when you are,” she said.

“Maybe you should sit this one out,” Raph said, “We’re going to kill the lights, and do you even know how to use that thing?”

“You insult me,” she told him, then she asked, “When will we start?”

“When the Soldier put’s out the first lighting fixture, then all the others under her command will do the same and then we’ll charge down,” Raph said, “Be careful. I set traps where I thought the Huntsclan would try to make their escape if they felt overwhelmed.”

Just as she nodded at him, one of the lighting fixtures in the Huntsclan base was taken out by a spear, then all the other lights were taken out and the sound of Quagawumps chanting filled the darkness as everyone ran down into Sleeping Mother.

Thanks to Gomez’s training, fighting like a troll also meant learning how to fight in the darkness. Urbana focused on the sounds of the fighting around her and felt the vibrations of the Huntsclan through the ground on the balls of her feet. She struck her enemies with confidence and no hesitation.

Urbana could see Amethyst fighting. Her whips causing sparks and her spin dash making her look like she was on fire.

Urbana never once saw Raph fight, but through the brief glimpses of light that Amethyst created, she saw his aftermath.

In the distance, Urbana heard the Huntsclan falling for Raph’s traps and the Quagawumps doing them in.

The fight lasted for twenty minutes. Soon all that could be heard was the chanting of the Quagawumps. Urbana put away her sanjiegun and Draal grabbed her wrist.

“This way,” he said, “You hold on to Amethyst and Raph and I’ll lead you to the Soldier that helped lead you here. The Quagawumps will want to handle their dead on their own.”

Draal helped her find Raph and Amethyst and then they were led back to the main settlement by the Soldier. After the Soldier told the crowd and their Queen what happened at Sleeping Mother, the three of them were met with cheering as they stood before the Queen of the Quagawumps.

“Thank you, fleshbags, for riding us of those invaders and for defending Sleeping Mother,” the Queen said, “You have done more than rid us of ghosts, you helped our future and our past. Your payment,” The Queen then gestured to a pile of precious stones piled knee high, “Take it all.”

“Thank you, your Majesty,” Urbana said. Then Amethyst and Raph helped her scoop it into her shoulder bag. It hung heavy on her shoulder, but she was able to carry it, “I’ll be telling the Trollhunter about this.”

The Queen acknowledged her. Then Amethyst turned into a helicopter and flew them back to the warp pad and then they warped back into Steven’s home. They were met with a disgusted Pearl and a surprised Steven.

“Ugh! Amethyst! You smell awful. Go take a shower,” Pearl demanded.

“I don’t know I like the smell,” Amethyst said.

“What did you guys do,” Steven asked.

“We don’t have time to explain,” Urbana said, “I need to call up Jim and I also need to tell everyone back at home what happened.”

“Can I take her offer to use their shower first,” Raph asked.

Urbana looked over at Raph who was covered in swamp water, mud, and blood. So was Amethyst and she assumed that she looked just as bad as them.

“Yah, go ahead,” Urbana said.

Pearl showed Raph where the bathroom was, and Urbana asked Steven to follow her outside.

“Once I wash this gunk off me, I’ll help you and Pearl clean up our footprints,” Urbana said.

“Is that all you wanted to say to me?” Steven asked.

“No… Look. I’m going ask you to heal someone and I want you to know that you can always—”  
“Of course I’ll help,” Steven said.

“I was afraid you were going to say that,” Urbana said.

“Why? It’s no trouble at all,” Steven said.

“I just want to make sure that you understand that you can always say no,” Urbana said, “He’s not at the brink of death… well, he kind of is, but it’s not bad. Cousin It says he’s healing like he should and—”

Steven placed a hand on her dirty shoulder, “Urbana. I appreciate that you always give me the chance to say no to you. I will heal your friend because it’s my choice. A choice that you happen to provide to me.”

They smiled at each other for a moment, then Urbana asked, “Will you help me clean this muck out of my hair in the ocean?”

“Sure. But it’ll be cold,” Steven said as he followed her down the stairs.

After washing up and helping clean up the mess they made in Steven’s home, Urbana informed the Trollhunter what happened in Florida and then told Jake, his gang, and the Manhattan Clan the information that she and Raph gathered.

“Thank you,” Jake said, “We’ll discuss what we should do with this information.”

Urbana nodded and left the two groups to talk with each other. For the next morning, she had plans to go to a witch’s bank that Blinky directed her to so she could exchange her precious stones for American currency. As she was making her way to her room to relax, Raph stopped her in the middle of the hallway.

“Thanks for taking me with you,” he said, his arms crossed over his chest.

“No problem,” Urbana said as she passed him and patted his shoulder.


	31. Captured

It was early February morning and Urbana watched through the living room window the turtle boys, April, and Casey stand outside so they could greet Master Splinter, who was coming out of Steven’s car. He looked completely healthy and the turtle boys group hugged the old man. Soon, Urbana was surrounded by Haley, Pugsley, Wednesday, and Spud.

“Oh, that’s nice,” Haley said.

It looked like Steven was about to drive back home, but Urbana ran out and yelled, “You better not be leaving without saying hello, Steven!”

Steven parked his car and then walked in with April, Casey, the turtle boys and Splinter. Urbana and Steven went to the mansion’s greenhouse to talk and so Steven could say hello to Cactus Steven.

“I thought you had school today?” Steven asked.

“I do but my first class is at 11pm. I have a lot of time,” Urbana said.

“Are you up early because of those nightmares?” He asked.

“Yah.”

“Do you want to talk about it,” He asked.

“No.”

“Okay.”

The two of them talked about their lives. Steven told Urbana how he’s teaching music lessons at Little Home World and how he’s been inviting his mother’s old friend, Spinel, to some of his therapy sessions and was thinking about inviting Blue Diamond to a session to see how it’d work out since he’s feeling good about inviting Spinel. Then he told Urbana about the mathletes that he watched Connie compete in and helped her team win.

“I thought her major was in Political Science with a minor in Sociology?”

“It is,” Steven said, “She’s just doing mathletes for fun.”

Soon it was Urbana’s turn to tell him about herself, and she told him about her last job and how she earned 1,000 dollars from her last excursion but since she had to split it up between herself, Amethyst and Raph, she actually collected around 333 dollars give or take a few cents. She was thinking about doing more freelance work like that if it paid better than her old job. Then she told him about how she’s glad that the Manhattan Clan is forced by their biology to sleep during the day, because they stay up all night worrying about their friends in New York, especially Goliath. Then she told him how there’s a small part of her that’s worried about Susie’s wellbeing.

“The girl that ruined the family reunion?”

Urbana nodded her head.

“Did you used to know her?”

“Not as well as I used to, and each time we meet she seems even more different than before,” Urbana said, “I feel like her drastic changes are in congruence to her discovering more about our world.”

“You don’t think it’s your fault, do you,” He asked.

“NO! It’s just… I don’t know. I feel like she has no one to turn to anymore and the more her world view is shaken, the angrier she gets,” Urbana said.

Steven and Urbana said nothing more as it was time for her to go to school and Steven decided to heal Mikey and Don.

# # #

Urbana was in the kitchen, doing her homework with Wednesday and Pugsley while Grandmama was going over what to make for dinner with Spud and while Gomez and Morticia were feeding Raven and Red. Trixie and Hailey were upstairs helping Lurch with his cleaning chores while Fu Dog, Master Splinter, Fester, Thing, and Gizmo were watching tv in the living room. Casey and April were taking a romantic walk around the lake while the turtle boys, Jake, and Rose were outside training, with Draal watching them. It was an hour before twilight, so the Manhattan clan wasn’t up yet.

Then the air was filled with the sounds of explosions. It was coming from the graveyard. Everyone went out to see what happened. Riding on her high-tech, navy-blue, hoverboard was Susie, in her matching high-tech, navy-blue, bodysuit with face covering helmet. The ghost barrier nodes in the ground were smoking.

“Susie! How did you get here!?” Urbana asked while everyone got fighting ready.

“I helped her,” A man said as he floated out from the trees.

The man was a ghost with pure white skin wearing a white suit, accented with black buttons, boots, gloves, a tie, and a black fedora.

“What are you doing working with a ghost, Susie,” Urbana asked her, “I thought you didn’t like “monsters” like him?”

“Oh, this is only a temporary arrangement,” the man in white said, “Our interests just happened to intersect.”

“And what interests would that be,” Urbana asked.

The man snapped his fingers and two ghosts in riot gear appeared out of the forest, holding Urbana’s mother and grandmother. Only Urbana and Draal could see what the riot gear ghosts were restraining.

“Mom! Grandma!” Urbana said in surprise.

“Whatever Walker says, don’t listen to him,” Grandma Harp said.

“We’re dead. It’s not worth it,” Rosie said.

Then the riot ghosts that were holding them pulled out batons and when they touched the tip of them to Urbana’s dead relatives, they cried out in pain like they were being electrocuted.

“Stop it!” Urbana yelled.

Draal spin dashed at Walker, but he blasted Draal with a ghost ray causing Draal to come out of his spin dash, then Walker blasted him again right between the eyes, knocking Draal unconscious. Ectoplasm started leaking from between his eyes.

“Draal!” Urbana cried.

Walker snapped his fingers and the riot ghosts stopped electrocuting Urbana’s mother and grandmother.

“Now, I’m a reasonable specter,” Walker said as he floated down in front of Urbana, “I like rules and I like order. Your mother released one of my prisoners and said prisoner has committed a crime that needs to be punished. Your grandmother helped hide and abide your mother and now your unconscious friend here has attempted to assault an officer. You surround yourself with so many criminals, but it can all be forgiven with the bounty on your head.”

Gomez and Fester stood in front of Urbana.

“You’ll have to get through us first, bastardo blanco!” Fester said.

“That can be arranged,” Walker said, then he snapped his fingers and more ghosts in riot gear appeared and surrounded the family and house guests, but he didn’t tell them to attack, not yet.

“You think we’re going to let you hurt her or our family,” an unfamiliar voice shouted from one of the gravestones.

Then every Addams family member that was buried in the private cemetery rose up from the ground as ghosts.

Walker looked at them like he was only slightly inconvenienced. Then he turned back to Urbana.

“I have a long history in dealing with unruly citizens, but I’ll leave the choice up to you, girl, come with me quietly and absolve your criminal family and friends with your bounty or don’t come with me quietly and everyone here, dead and the soon to be dead, will find a new home in my prison,” Walker said.

Urbana got the message, but she didn’t want anyone to get hurt.

Urbana pushed aside Gomez and Fester, stepped up to Walker, then said, “I’ll go. Please, don’t hurt them.”

The Addams family and her mother and grandmother protested the loudest out of everyone there while Walker was putting his handcuffs on her.

“Alright,” Walker said, “Release the two ex-convicts.”

The two riot gear wearing ghost holding her mother and grandmother, let them go and shoved them forward into the crowd.

“Urbana, please don’t do this,” Rosie said, “We can still fight this.”

“I’m—”

Urbana tried to say something, but she was hit in the back of her head and everything went black for her.

# # #

Urbana woke up to her being thrown to the ground. She could feel her mouth was gagged. She looked around to see that she was in a metal laboratory and sitting on some shelves sat Skulker, cleaning out one of his guns. He didn’t look happy.

“Well done Walker,” Vlad Masters said, “And you too Susie. We couldn’t have done it without you.”

“The bounty, Mr. Masters,” Walker said.

“Of course,” Vlad said. There was a moment of silence then Urbana heard the quiet sound of pen on paper then the sound of that paper being torn.

“Thank you,” Walker said.

“I don’t like it,” Skulker said as he jumped down from his perch, “The way you went about it was unsportsmanlike.”

“Well your sportsmanship was how you kept losing her in the first place,” Walker said.

Skulker floated over her as the two ghosts growled at each other.

“Enough you two,” Vlad said, “Walker, I assume you have a prison to attend to.”

“I do,” he said, then Urbana didn’t hear from him again.

While Skulker was grumbling, Vlad said, “Susie, drag her over here and hang her up.”

“Yes, Mr. Masters,” Susie said.

Urbana felt Susie grab her by the back of her shirt, then Urbana spun around on her side and kicked her feet from beneath her. Then Urbana got up to try and look for a quick exit, but she was immediately hit with tasers in her back. Urbana fell back to the ground.

“You got her,” Vlad questioned.

“Yes, Sir. She just has some more fight in her,” Susie said, then she tasered her again for extra measure, “She’s always been a fighter.”

Urbana was then dragged and hung up by her cuffed wrists.

“Will you really be able to fix her,” Susie asked, “Make her normal?”

“Of course,” Vlad said as Urbana saw him put on gloves with long thin razers like he was a discount Freddy Krueger.

Urbana knew that was a lie. Whatever he really wanted to do with those Krueger gloves, she didn’t know, but making her “normal” wasn’t going to be his goal. As Urbana looked to Susie as Vlad got closer, Urbana wondered what lies Susie was fed to make her more malleable to work with ghosts, despite saying only months ago that she saw her as a monster or a demon.

“It’s best if you don’t see this,” Vlad said as he stood before Urbana, “The unwanted ghost that’s in her won’t give her up without a fight and it’ll seem like she’s in a lot of pain. Go grab some 7-up and bread. She’ll need it when I’m done.”

Susie nodded and left.

Vlad then turned his attention to Urbana; he was practically salivating. Urbana tried to emit her aura to burn him or repel him back in some way, but all that happened was that he flinched. Only Skulker was flung back.

“Tsk-tsk, my girl. Don’t you remember that I’m half alive,” Vlad said. Then Vlad clawed at her using the Freddy Krueger gloves.

Urbana felt her inner most self being torn away from her body. Her vision was blurring, and she was seeing double and she let out a muffled scream.

# # #

Urbana looked at her surroundings and she could tell that she was in the Neitherworld/Ghost Zone, by all the strange free-floating items, portals, and how everything has a thin film of ectoplasm in the air. She remembered being captured and she remembered being clawed at by Vlad, but after that, she couldn’t really remember how she got into the Neitherworld/Ghost Zone. She remembered the sounds of screaming, hers or someone else’s she wasn’t sure, and then flashes of green and gold light, but that was it.

Urbana went to rub her eyes to sooth her headache, and when she saw her hands, they flashed between how her hands usually looked, to turning into see through pure glowing gold, to turning into skeleton hands shrouded in shadows. Urbana watched her hands flash between these three things for a minute before they settled back to how her hands normally looked. That didn’t seem good to her.

Urbana thought if she managed to escape from Vlad, then she’ll be able to find the Fenton’s. Maybe they’ll know what Vlad did to her, but she didn’t think she was completely safe; Skulker, Susie, and Vlad might all be looking for her in the afterlife. As she moved forward, she was glad that the afterlife was so big.

Urbana floated through the afterlife, not knowing where she was going and only following her gut, unsure of everything and wishing she had Mr. and Mrs. Maitland’s guidebook, with her headache never truly going away. After two hours of trying to find the right ghost portal out of the afterlife, Urbana stumbled upon an office like building that looked like it could blend in with a jungle scenery as well as a city skyline. People were pouring in and out of it from everywhere and everyone looked extremely different, some looked like the Earthlings that Urbana is used to seeing, like humans, fishmen, trolls, and fairies, while other people looked down right alien, however, none of them seemed like normal ghosts like she’s used to seeing.

Urbana tried to give the strange place a wide berth, but she accidentally floated into one of the none ghost, ghost persons. It was a fishwoman. She looked like a wels catfish with her large mouth and beady black eyes, and long whiskers, and her scaly skin being black with speckles of gray and brown.

“Oh! Hello!” She said cheerfully, “You must be new here. Don’t worry. Beech will take care of you.” Then the fishwoman grabbed Urbana by the arm with a strong webbed hand and they floated over to the building.

“I’m sorry, Ma’am,” Urbana said, “You’re making a mistake.”

“I know it’s scary. Having just died and then following your instincts only to see a large building full of strangers when you thought you’d see your family,” Beech said, “But worry not. When you work here, you do find family, eventually.”

Urbana didn’t respond as they entered the building as her headache felt like it was getting worst. Still holding on to her, Beech maneuvered through the building with ease despite the crowds. She happily said hello to everyone she knew but didn’t stop until they were in front of a closed office door that looked like an orientation room.

“My Grandpa works here as a volunteer to help the new Reapers understand themselves in their new environment and I’m his assistant. Now, you’ll be shocked that we don’t look the same,” Beech said as she was opening the door, “But that’s just because he’s been reincarnated three times now.”

Beech then stepped into the orientation room, dragging Urbana behind her, who was only half listening since her headache was hurting her so bad. The room was full of people Urbana has never seen before. She saw a woman that was a tiny wrinkly octopus, she saw a man that was a fifty-foot-tall robot, and another woman that was nine-foot-tall and blue with four arms. Urbana had to assume that they were all aliens from different planets and despite everyone’s various sizes, the room somehow was able to accommodate them all while still looking like a normal sized room. It made Urbana’s head hurt even worst.

Beech dragged Urbana to the back of the room so that they could listen to the volunteer worker that was lecturing the Reapers from other worlds. The volunteer worker was a human black man with gray hair cut short into a small afro. His face was framed by crows feet and smile lines and he was really thin and frail looking but he exuded confidence. When it finally dawned on Urbana that she was looking at her Grandpa Harp, did her headache explode and she blacked out.

# # #

Urban woke up to her face being punched. The person that punched her was Dani. She hasn’t seen her since the summer and was happy to see her. Urbana was going to ask her why she punched her, but her mouth moved on its own.

“You’ve got to do better than that, my sweet Danielle,” Urbana said.

“Shut up,” Dani said as she kicked Urbana in the stomach.

Urbana doubled over in pain, not understanding what was going on. Then on its own, her body started to fight against Dani. A sickly green gold ray shot out of Urbana’s hands that sent Dani flying backwards into a pile of metal rubble.

“With this body, Danielle, I can finally defeat you, Danny, and Jack and I’ll finally make Maddie mine,” Urbana said.

“We won’t let you, Vlad,” Dani said as she flew out of the metal rubble. Then she started punching Urbana, furiously, putting her on the defensive.

No wonder Urbana had no control over her body, Vlad was possessing it, but Urbana didn’t understand how he was possessing her since she would have thrown him up like she did last time. He definitely did something freaky to her with those Freddy Krueger gloves.

# # #

Urbana woke up in a privet office on someone’s couch. She was shaking and felt sick. Urbana watched her hands flicker between how they normally looked, to see through glowing gold, and then to skeleton hands shrouded in misty blackness. Her hands raced rapidly between the three visuals and it made her want to throw up, but it felt like she couldn’t.

The privet office door opened and in stepped Beech and Urbana’s grandpa. The two of them stared at Urbana in concern.

“Grandpa?”

Grandpa Harp went up to his granddaughter and embraced her. Sad to see her like this.

“I’m possessed,” Urbana said as she hugged her grandfather, “How do I get my body back?”

“I don’t know,” he said as he pulled back and held her face, “but we’ll figure it out.”

“This isn’t how I imagined meeting my cousin,” Beech said.

“Where am I exactly,” Urbana asked, still flashing, “Why am I doing this?” She held out her trembling flickering hands. “Why am I cousins with a dead fishwoman?”

“Oh, can I tell her Grandpa,” Beech asked.

“No, baby,” Grandpa Harp said, “Will you give us a minute?”

“Okay,” Beech said then she left the private office, but it was obvious that she was sitting outside the door.

“You are at the home, headquarters, and main hub of Reaper’s Central. A place where, when we die, we come here to help learn to guide people to where they need to go when they die. I’m a Grim Reaper. Your cousin Beech is a Grim Reaper. And you, my child, are a Grim Reaper,” Grandpa Harp said.

“I thought Grim Reapers were just a thing that existed,” Urbana said.

“No. Grim Reapers are born/made into this world just like anyone else is,” He said, “And when we die, we find are way here. Like I told you before, only you would be able to find me.”

Urbana then gestured to herself, questioningly, her aura still blinking between the three images that she was cycling through.

“This,” he said as he was gesturing to Urbana’s whole body, “isn’t something I’ve ever seen happen before. So I don’t know how to explain it to you.”

“Okay, well, since I’m a Grim Reaper, why am I able to do all of those things as a living person,” Urbana asked, “Shouldn’t I only be able to do that as a Grim Reaper.”

“Every living Grim Reaper is capable of doing what you can do in the mortal realm,” Grandpa Harp said, “It’s how we know you’ll become one of us when you die, if we come across our own kind.”

“And Beech?”

“Well,” he said, “I literally had a life before you and your Grandma and Mother. When I was first born into the mortal realm, I was a fishman named Bubble and before I was killed by an angry mob, I managed to mate with a fishwoman and then one out of one hundred eggs, my son, Gill, managed to find his own mate, and out of his first one hundred egg batch, hatched a Grim Reaper who you know now as Beech.”

“So what should we do now,” Urbana asked.

“Can you walk,” Grandpa Harp asked.

Urbana stood up, then nodded.

Grandpa Harp and Beech lead Urbana through Reaper’s Central. She read the signs as they walked. They went through an archway that read on the top, Planetary Administration. Then the door’s that they passed had names and the planets that they originate from. She knew that each plaque had different languages, but she was still able to read them, like they were written in English. She read Manager Beta of Cybertron, Manager Davaros of Akiridion-5, Manager Glookerc of Utromia, and so many more. Eventually they came upon a doorway that said, Manager Meadow of Earth.

They entered the office without knocking. The room looked practically empty, except for a few chairs to sit in and in the middle of the office sat a relatively large desk. On the desk was a miniature office room with filing cabinets, a printer, five different phones, a desk that looked exactly like the large desk it was sitting on, and in the center, talking on one of the phones was a pixie. She was sitting in her swivel chair, engrossed in her conversation on her phone, but when she saw Urbana, who was still cycling through her three appearances, she cut the phone call short.

“I never thought our branch would go through this,” Meadow said as she got up then started looking through her filing cabinets, “Give me a moment.”

After doing a few calls and doing some paperwork, she handed Grandpa Harp a stack of papers that grew in size to his portions. Grandpa Harp looked through the papers.

“The Archivers will be able to help her?”

Meadow nodded, “They’re the best for helping her get back to her body.”

“Thank you, Meadow,” Beech said.

“Think nothing of it,” Meadow said, as the little pixie sat up straighter in her swivel chair, “I would rather us not lose more Reapers,” then she turned her attention towards Urbana, “Good luck, Dear.”

“Thank you, Ma’am,” Urbana said.

Then everyone left Manager Meadow’s office and the three of them were making their way to The Archivers.

Urbana wondered what was wrong with the Reapers that made Miss Meadow worry about losing more, but Urbana figured she shouldn’t ask about that, at least not yet.

“So, what are the Archivers?” she asked.

“They’re like librarians,” Beech said, “but instead of renting movies or books, you get your person that you’ll be reaping from them.”

“So, they give out assignments… I thought Reapers reaped every dead soul?” Urbana asked.

“Oh, no. That’s impossible,” Beech said as she held open a door to a stairwell, “We only reap certain people, people who need more guidance than your average person, or people who have a certain energy in them that needs help, like ascending to godhood, or reincarnation, or answering the call to the Void.”

Grandpa Harp and Urbana walked through the open door and down into the stairwell.

“Oh. Neat,” Urbana said, not knowing how to deal with that information.

“They also collect the stories, history, and languages of every civilization that ever was in our universe,” Beech said as they walked down the stairs, “I love reading the old mythology of my early people.”

“That sounds like fun,” Urbana said, genuinely interested in hearing about the stories.

“Maybe when you actually die, we can properly show you around the Archive Room,” Grandpa Harp said as he opened a door for them to exit the stairwell, “but I didn’t like the way Meadow said, “I never thought our branch would go through this,” and the implication that I might lose my Granddaughter to the Void.”

Urbana walked past her grandfather, with Beech following behind her, and they entered a room that looked like a library, but it went on for infinity. Urbana could see a plaque on the door they exited, it wasn’t in English, but she could still read it, and it was a number that read 100^π. It didn’t make much sense to Urbana; she is an English major not a Math major. Urbana followed her cousin and grandpa through the Archive Room until they came upon a human woman that was organizing some papers.

“Excuse me, Linda,” Grandpa Harp said as he handed the woman the papers he had, “Meadow said your people would be able to help my Granddaughter.”

Linda took the papers then looked over them.

To Urbana, even though she thought Linda looked like she had died in her thirties, she seemed ancient, even more so than her grandfather, and she looked tired, like someone who’s seen one too many tragedies.

After looking over the papers, Linda then turned to Urbana, “Do you know who’s possessing you?”

Urbana nodded, but she wished she hadn’t, since it hurt her head. Linda waited for Urbana to tell her their name, and when she said, Vlad Masters, Linda told them to follow her, and she jumped over the railing that was separating the floor that they were on from the infinity of the Archive Room and she flew up. Beech followed her without trouble and Grandpa Harp held Urbana’s hand to help her, but just as they jumped over the railing to follow the two women, Urbana felt her head explode again and she passed out.

# # #

It felt like her head was smashed against something metal. Urbana wanted to look around but instead, she was focused forward, staring at the Fenton’s who all looked beat up, but they seemed fine. Urbana couldn’t hear them while her body, possessed by Vlad, was struggling to get her arms free from her restraints.

“I don’t understand,” Urbana breathed, “I should have the girl’s powers over ghosts. If only I had been able to practice more with this body. At least they can’t suck me into one of their Thermos’s like this.”

Urbana tried with all her might, to shout out for help, or to move at her own will, but once again, she was trapped in a dark corner of her mind. Only able to helplessly watch her surroundings move on without her and without her consent.

# # #

Urbana woke up, back in the Archive Room with her cousin and grandpa holding her up while Linda was searching through some books. Urbana looked at her hands. They weren’t flashing anymore, instead, they were stuck on the image of skeleton hands shrouded in misty darkness.

“Good, you’re awake,” Linda said as she turned her attention towards Urbana, “I need you to tell me more about this Vlad Masters. Something specific about him.”

“He’s a living person that can will himself to death, turning himself into a ghost, and then will himself back to life as a normal human being,” Urbana said, hoping that was specific enough.

“Ah, good. That’s rare,” Linda said as she went to a specific place on a bookshelf. She then pulled out a thin sliver of a book, “There. Now we know where he is and by extension, you.” Linda then went over to Urbana and grabbed one of her arms and slung it over her shoulders, “I’ll take it from here.”

“Please. Let me come and help,” Grandpa Harp asked, “I’ll do anything that you need me to do.”

“We don’t have time for that,” Linda said, sounding kind and sympathetic, “but I’ll take care of her. You’ll be able to see her again.”

Beech patted her grandfather’s shoulder and Grandpa Harp held her hand to comfort himself.

Linda then dropped the book on the floor and the book opened itself up and a ghost portal manifested above the book, big enough for them to walk through together. A scythe appeared in her free hand, and Linda half carried Urbana through the ghost portal.

“Come on, Kid,” Linda told Urbana, who was struggling to walk and stay present, “You can make it.”

Urbana agreed with that notion, but at the moment it didn’t feel particularly easy for her.

They passed through to the other side of the portal and everyone was still in the room that Urbana first woke up in when she was captured. The Fenton’s had their weapons aimed at them, but Linda ignored them as she took Urbana towards her struggling body. Now to Urbana, Linda looked like your typical white woman with her blond hair in a bun and wearing jeans and a button up blouse. Everyone else that were alive saw a walking skeleton shrouded in a misty black robe while Danny and Dani, who were in their ghost forms, saw Linda as a being made of golden light, like she was the light at the end of the tunnel. No one could see that she was carrying/dragging Urbana long beside her.

Linda and Urbana stood in front of her possessed body. Vlad was staring up at Linda, fear etched into Urbana’s face. It made Urbana feel sick looking at herself without a mirror. Linda first made sure that Urbana was able to stand on her own. Then she took her scythe and cut through Urbana’s body. Urbana’s physical body was undisturbed by Linda’s scythe, but Vlad was forcefully pulled out of Urbana’s body like a stubborn weed with a deep root system. Once Linda had pulled Vlad out, she flung him towards the Fenton’s and Jazz immediately sucked him up into a Fenton Thermos.

Linda then grabbed Urbana, who was started to literally fade fast, and placed Urbana back into her body with the speed and precision of a practiced doctor with a scalpel during a risky heart surgery.

Urbana woke up. Her entire body hurt, and she felt awful, but she was back. She looked up to thank Linda, but she only saw a skeleton in a misty black robe. The Reaper Linda unbound Urbana’s arms then patted her head.

Then the skeleton jaw dropped, and Linda’s voice came out of it, “I’ll tell your Grandfather that you’re okay, now. I hope we’ll meet again on better terms.” The skeleton jaw closed, then Reaper Linda walk back through the ghost portal and it closed behind her.

Urbana sat up on the metal floor, trying to discern how badly beaten up she was, but she was soon tackled into a hug by Jazz and Jack.

“Not so hard. Not so hard,” Urbana said, her ribs hurting.

Jack and Jazz backed off and Maddie said, “We didn’t even know that you were successfully kidnapped by Vlad. We were already hot on his trail. We just wish we got here before he managed to possess you.”

Dani walked up to her and said, “Sorry for kicking you in the ribs.”

“Eh. I would have done the same,” Urbana told her.

“We’ll have you know that we also managed to capture Skulker too,” Danny said as he raised his thermos up to show it rattling.

“And that Susie bitch,” Jazz said as she pointed over her shoulder.

Urbana looked to see Susie with her suit damaged, and her helmet visor broken, and she could see that she was unconscious and hand cuffed. Urbana sighed in relief. Most of the ghosts that were after her had basically given up, except for Skulker and of course Vlad. Now that Susie is captured and can be sent to the police, it felt like a great weight was lifted off her shoulders.

“Let’s get you to a hospital,” Jack said, “We’ll take care of Susie, Vlad, and Skulker.” He was gesturing to himself and to Dani and Danny.

“Then you can tell us why that Grim Reaper talked to you like it knew you,” Maddie said, an excited glint shining in her eye.

As Urbana was being taken to the hospital by Maddie and Jazz, while Jack, Dani, and Danny stayed behind, she learned that they found Vlad’s new hidden base in the Ghost Zone, just because there was an mass energy surge that made him extremely easy to find.

Then after she was hospitalized and had two of her ribs relocated back into place, Urbana learned that Walker kept his promise to about absolving her family and friends and she learned that her mother, grandmother, and Draal were all fine. Then she told everyone everything she saw and what she is.


	32. Aftereffects

After Steven insisted on helping Urbana heal, Urbana was out of Cousin It’s clinic the day after she was emitted. Then everyone scattered, needing some time to think on the fact that Urbana’s a Grim Reaper, except for the Addams Family and Urbana’s mother and grandmother. The Addams Family were watching Urbana’s one-sided argument with her mother and grandmother in the mansion’s living room.

“Urbana Des Moines! I don’t _ever_ want you giving yourself up like a fucking sacrifice ever again,” Rosie said.

“You could have died,” Grandma Harp said.

“You’re only twenty-one, you still have so much life to live,” Rosie said, “Don’t be giving yourself up for two dead betties. It was stupid.”

“Remember when you gave me your stories to read and you were going through your, got-to-write-tragedy-by-having-people-kill-them-selves-through-sacrifice, faze,” Grandma Harp said, “You know I hate that trope. I don’t want you living through that trope. Don’t make us live through that again.”

“I can’t help how life plays itself out, guys,” Urbana said, “I love you two so much and I didn’t like the idea that Walker would torture you guys till the heat death of the universe. If I’d have to, I’d do it again too… Are you guys saying you wouldn’t do the same for me?”

“What! No, that’s not what we mean, Sweety,” Rosie said, “We’re just saying, that no one should have to sacrifice themselves like that.”

“But of course, we’d do it for you,” Grandma Harp added quickly, “But please, don’t do it any time soon. I don’t think our souls could handle seeing you being taken away like that again.”

“…I’m sorry,” Urbana said.

“Oh, we’re sorry too,” Rosie said, “I wish we could hug you and give you kisses.”

Urbana smiled at that.

Grandma Harp then asked, “How did he look by the way?”

“He was okay,” Urbana told her.

Grandma Harp smiled then patted her daughter’s shoulder and said, “Let’s go back over. Now that you’re not working for that prick anymore, maybe you should pick up your saxophone again. I know you know how to still play it.”

“I do miss the stage,” Rosie said as the two of them disappeared from sight.

“They’re gone now,” Urbana said without turning around, “Do you guys have anything to say to me too?”

Pugsley then tackled her into a hug, “How cool do you feel knowing you’re going to be a Grim Reaper when you die?”

“Not very cool at all,” Urbana told him, “but I am interested in that giant library.”

“Of course, you would be,” Gomez said as he slapped her on the back, while holding Raven.

“Do you feel better now that we’ve captured Vlad and his henchmen,” Fester asked.

“A lot, actually,” Urbana said, “Now we can go back to doing the family séances again.”

“I do miss my Frank,” Grandmama said.

“And we can get rid of the ghost barrier,” Wednesday said.

“We should leave on the magic illusion spell though,” Morticia said, while rocking Red.

“I’m just glad you’re all okay,” Urbana said as she went over to pat Red’s head.

Lurch patted Urbana’s shoulder.

“Do you think you’ll be okay, though,” Fester asked.

“Oh, god no,” Urbana said, “But that’s a problem for future me. Right now, I just want to sleep and hang out with you guys.”

“That’s good to hear, because we actually want to discuss with you about your rent,” Grandmama said.

“Oh yah,” Urbana said, feeling nervous. She’s been paying them on time every month like she’s supposed to, despite having no stable job besides her comic drawing and any small jobs that she’s able to find.

“Yes. We’ve been talking, and we’d like you to stop paying us for you to live here,” Grandmama said.

“So like, you’re kicking me out,” Urbana asked.

Gomez placed an arm around her shoulders and said, “No Dear. You’ve really got to stop thinking the worst about us. We’ll start getting offended.”

“I’m sorry. It’s just, why?” Urbana asked.

“We know you’re going through a hard time, and we’ve been talking about this for a long time,” Morticia said, “We wanted to get you to stop paying us after your first year here, but you were still uncomfortable with us, so we decided to let you keep doing it.”

“And now after defending us against a power-hungry cop, we though you’ve started to see us more as family than as your homeowner,” Fester said.

“Oh… Then. Okay,” Urbana said, “I’d appreciate that.”

“Finally,” Wednesday said, “Now you’ll have money to buy that fancy watercolor kit you’ve told me about.”

Urbana smiled at the kindness and understanding that she was being given, and also Red’s tiny hand grasped her finger.

# # #

Urbana was getting back home from a job interview from a local bar called The Witching Hour and she saw her Aunt standing outside in front of the mansion. As Urbana was getting out of her car, Jane ran to embrace her niece.

“Oh Honey! I came here as soon as I could,” Jane said.

“I’m guessing Lurch told you,” Urbana asked.

“That’s right,” Jane said as she pulled back, “cause apparently you never planned on telling me.”

She gave Urbana that look she thought only her dad could give her, the look of disappointment and concern and sadness. It’s a very complicated look and she’s not sure how this side of her family is able to express so many emotions through one look.

“Well, I mean, if it means if I can avoid making you worry about me then, yah,” Urbana said.

“When will you get it through you thick skull that I’m going to worry about you no matter what situation you’re in? I’m going to worry about your health. I’m going to worry about your grades. I’m going to worry about everything about you and do you know what’s going to make me worry less?” Jane asked.

“What?”

“If you would just tell me what’s going on in your life,” Jane said.

“Really?” Urbana asked, “I would think that would have the opposite affect?”

“It gives me the opportunity to give you a helping hand if you want, or to give you advice if you want, or to give you a shoulder to cry on if you want,” Jane said, “I want to be there for you, but I can’t if you don’t tell me what’s going on.”

“Okay,” Urbana said, “I’m sorry.”

Jane embraced her again and said, “And I’m sorry too. We should’ve had this conversation sooner.”

There was the sound of someone clearing their throat. The two women stopped hugging each to see Bob standing awkwardly by himself to the side.

“Ah fuck! What’s he doing here,” Urbana gasped as she pointed at her father.

“I asked him to come with me,” Jane said as she went over to stand next to her little brother.

Bob was silent for a minute and Urbana could tell he was trying to say the right words.

“Did you enjoy getting your old sketchbooks and composition books?” Bob asked. To Urbana it looked like he was trying very hard not to bring up her cussing.

“I wouldn’t say I enjoyed it per say, but some of my old drawings were used in my new comic strips,” Urbana said, “So, uh, thanks?”

“You’re welcome,” Bob said.

As they were all walking in, Urbana asked if Lurch picked them up from somewhere and Jane said that Bob parked outside a general gas station and Lurch did pick them up, eventually. Jane then told her that Bob wanted to drive to the mansion directly but for the life of him, he couldn’t find it, and Jane tried to warn him, but he was being stubborn.

Urbana was about to ask her father how long him and Jane were planning on staying, as she was closing the door behind them, when she heard her father yell in fright. Urbana turned to see him pointing at Mikey, who was holding an armload of sweet treats that he was in the middle of stealing from Grandmama’s kitchen.

Jane slapped Bob in the back of his head, then said, “Don’t be rude.”

Rubbing the back of his head, indignantly, he said, “Are you kidding me? What is that thing doing here?”

“Oh my god, Dad/Bob!” Urbana and Jane said at the same time.

Jane slapped Bob in the back of his head again and Urbana went over to Micky and hugged the fourteen-year-old turtle boy.

“Will you stop hitting me,” Bob told Jane.

“I’m sorry, Mikey, for my father’s poor behavior,” Urbana said.

“How much does he know about what’s going on?” Mikey asked, secretly hoping that Urbana would hug him forever.

“I haven’t told him anything,” Urbana said, stepping away from Mikey, “Aunt Jane?”

She shook her head.

Bob looked between his sister and his daughter, “Do I even actually want to know?”

Urbana looked to her aunt.

Jane placed a hand on his shoulder, then said, “No.”

From the kitchen, Grandmama was shouting about someone stealing half of the sweet treats that she and Spud made for dinner tonight, and Mikey immediately ran off.

“We’re not going to stay long,” Jane said over Grandmama’s angry shouting, “Lurch has told me some of what you went through, but I would like you to tell us yourself, if you’re willing.”

“Only if Dad stays quiet,” Urbana said, “The moment he interrupts me, I’m done.”

“Well, that hardly seems fair,” Bob said. “What if I have questions?”

“_The. Immediate. Moment._” Urbana said, emphasizing each word to her father.

“That’s fine, Honey,” Jane told her.

Urbana sat her aunt and father down in the living room and proceeded to tell them everything that happened to her.

When Urbana finished, Jane said, “Is there anything you’d like from us?”

Jokingly, Urbana said, “Maybe pay for my therapist.”

“Done,” Jane said.

Bob and Urbana looked at Jane in shock.

“I was joking,” Urbana said, clarifying herself.

“And I’m not,” Jane said, clarifying herself too, “If you want to, I will of course pay for it while you’re going through college. I said, I’d help, and I will.”

“What can I do for you,” Bob asked his daughter.

“I’m just surprised that you didn’t interrupt me when I was talking,” Urbana said, “I’m just grateful for that.”

Bob slouched forward with a sigh, while rubbing the back of his head.

Lurch came into the living room and Jane stood up with Bob following her.

“We’ll be going now,” Jane said.

“Bye. I love you,” Bob told his daughter, attentively.

“I love you too,” Urbana said, indifferently.

“Call me when you’ve found yourself a therapist you like,” Jane told Urbana.

Then the three adults left.

# # #

Urbana was walking out of one of her classes while watching a video that Morticia sent her of Red and Raven saying the word, no, to each other on repeat. Once she had walked outside, Urbana saw that there was a new blanket of snow, being shined upon by the afternoon March sun. It was beautiful.

Urbana felt someone tap on her head and she looked up to see Jack Frost smiling down at her.

“Jack! Dude! It’s been a while,” Urbana said, “Visiting before you have to go?”

“Yah,” Jack said as he started to walk beside her. He then looked around and asked, “Where’s your stinky friend?”

“He’s on a mission,” Urbana said, “Besides. I have a new friend to keep me company.”

“Where are they then,” Jack asked.

Urbana pointed to the top of the campus’s main building, with Draal vigilantly looking out for danger.

“What’s he doing up there,” he asked.

“Oh, well, Draal isn’t in the highest spirits at the moment,” Urbana said, which made Jack snicker, but Urbana continued, “because, he couldn’t help prevent my kidnapping. So, the poor troll feels like a failure.”

“Oh, woah! You got kidnapped,” Jack said, then asked, “Are you okay?”

“Let’s just say, if Pitch ever visits me again, he’s going to have a lot of cannon fodder,” Urbana said.

Jack scowled, but then he looked confused then asked, “Again?”

“I asked the North Wind to send a message to him, and he actually came to visit me,” Urbana said, “and I got to give him my apology. He didn’t exactly like it, though.”

“I believe you,” Jack said.

“Want to see a cute baby video before I get to my next class,” Urbana asked him.

“Yes.”

# # #

Urbana was in her room, laying on her bed, with Gizmo playing with her hair while she was reading over Bubble’s Diary. She was going over his notes on Spirit Cleansing a couple of more times, cause tomorrow she was going to go over to New Trollmarket and help out Angor Rot. She wanted to make sure that she won’t make a mistake, since, according to the diary, Spirit Cleansing can be dangerous for the Spirit and for the Cleanser.

Someone tapped on her window, and Urbana assumed it was one of the gargoyles wanting into her room to talk and/or hang out, so she went over and opened her window. Then a Grim Reaper floated through. The bipedal skeleton looked fishier than human in their misty black robe, as they floated into her room. The jaw lowered and a familiar voice came out of it.

“Hey, cousin,” she said.

“Beech?”

“The one and only,” she said.

“I’m so confused… Why are you here? Linda made it seem like I wasn’t going to see you guys until I died,” Urbana said.

“No. Don’t be confused,” Beech said, “You have every right to think that. It’s kind of what we’re supposed to do.”

“Then what are you doing here?” Urbana asked.

“Well, I wanted to get to know my cousin more. We met each other on such bad terms, and it’ll be nice to get to know the rest of my family,” Beech said, “Also, I bet you have questions.”

Urbana sat on her bed, then said, “I mean I do, but maybe I should ask, why can’t you guys visit with me like this?”

“Technically, we can visit with you in your dreams, but it’s usually reserved for direct relatives and once the person we’re communicating with wakes up, they forget half the things that were talked about,” Beech said, “But that’s dreams for you. We’re not supposed to physically interact with you like this because not every living Grim Reaper knows what they’re capable of, and we want living Grim Reapers to live as normal of a life as they can before they die.”

“And why’s that important,” Urbana asked.

“Because of who we are. Our job is to help the dead when it’s their time and to help means being kind, sympathetic, and understanding. To connect with the people who are struggling with their afterlife. It’s also part of the reason why reincarnation amongst Grim Reapers like us comes so much more easily than it does for any other creatures in this universe,” Beech explained.

“Huh…”

“Kindness and understanding are very important to us. Sure there are some Reapers who you wouldn’t call the nicest or the cheerfullest type, but at their core they try to be compassionate and empathetic,” Beech said.

“…So. Grandpa used to be a fishman and now he’s a human man, but that’s his third reincarnation? What was his second?” Urbana asked.

“Grandpa decided to reincarnate as a Japanese woman and I think he was born in the Edo period, if I remember him telling me right. Sometime around the 1700’s,” Beech said.

“I remember seeing Reapers form different planets, do they ever decided to go to different planets to reincarnate in,” Urbana asked.

“Well… It’s not something that’s been unheard of, but sometimes it can cause the living Reaper to go through stress that wouldn’t usually happen if they reincarnate into what’s common on their own planet,” Beech said.

“Oh, do reincarnated living Reapers remember their previous lives,” Urbana asked.

“Not necessarily,” she said, “Like, as a fishman, Grandpa naturally loved the water and to swim a lot. Then he reincarnated as a Japanese woman and that same love of water and love to swim stuck with her. Then she reincarnated as a black man who also loved water and to swim. We don’t remember the lives that we lived but the things we loved doing in our previous lives is just something that we tend to pick up on no matter what.”

“So like, just to clarify, when I die, I can choose to reincarnate but I’ll forget my previous life, but when I die again, I’ll be able to remember my first life and the second life I would have just died from?” Urbana asked.

“Yah, that sums it up nicely,” Beech said.

“Cool,” then she said, “I think I’ve asked you enough questions. Do you have any for me?”

“Oh, yes! So many,” Beech said.

Then the two of them talked until Urbana was too tired to talk anymore and Beech left saying she will visit again when she can.

# # #

Urbana was in Blinky’s office, with Angor Rot, Claire, and Blinky.

“Do you guys have to stand so close?” Urbana asked them.

“Sorry,” Claire said.

“My apologies,” Blinky said.

The two of them took a couple of steps back from Urbana and Angor Rot.

“After you’re done do you think you could loan us Bubble’s diary,” Blinky asked, “I believe it would make for an interesting read.”

“Only if you’ll translate the rest of the diary for me,” Urbana said, “Translating it has been slow going and I’m barely over halfway through the book.”

“I would be delighted to,” Blinky said.

“So what exactly is wrong with Angor Rot,” Claire asked.

“It’s like shadow magic is consuming his spirit,” Urbana said as she waved her hands in Angor Rot’s general direction, “The longer I look at him the more destressed it makes me feel.”

“You don’t have to do this,” Angor Rot started to say but Urbana interrupted him.

“Don’t you dare say another word,” Urbana said, “I get the general idea that you weren’t exactly the nicest troll in the world from how everyone reacts to me even mentioning your name.”

“That’s putting it mildly,” Claire mumbled.

“_But_, you’re dead now and a lot of people would probably say that’s punishment enough and if you are committed to doing more good during your afterlife, than you did during your lifelife, then I’m going to make your afterlife a little bit easier,” Urbana said.

“I am,” Angor Rot said.

“Then give me your hand,” Urbana said.

The dead troll extended his swiss cheese arm and Urbana grabbed his swiss cheese hand with both of hers and she closed her eyes. Urbana felt that trickling-energy-draining-feeling that she always senses when she is touching or being touched by a ghost, but she focused on where her energy was being taken to. Using her energy, Urbana reached deep down inside of Angor Rot and found the infected parts of him. She gathered those infected parts of him and stored them inside herself. As she was doing this, Claire and Blinky could see a golden outline of Angor Rot. It made the two of them feel nervous, but the longer they looked at him, the less nervous they felt and the more they thought of how they were seeing just a normal person.

Once Urbana was sure that she had found every infection point in Angor Rot, Urbana let go of his hand and immediately started coughing up a storm.

“What’s wrong,” Blinky asked as he went over to Urbana.

Still hacking, Urbana raised her hands up, gesturing to them to stay back. They did. About a minute of hacking later, Urbana snorted then spat out a softball sized wad of shadow magic out of her mouth like she was spitting out a loogie. It was covered in a golden sticky film and the shadow magic was curling and bubbling beneath the golden film.

“Ugh, that’s disgusting,” Claire said.

“I feel… weird,” Angor Rot said.

Urbana turned to the dead troll to see that he was still missing parts of himself, but he didn’t look like he was being eaten alive by shadowy bugs anymore.

“You feel weird because you don’t know how to feel without that magic gunking up your spirit,” Urbana said as she took his hand, “Don’t worry. You’ll like the new weird feeling. Maybe not soon, but you will. Now let’s finish this.”

Urbana then focused her attention on helping Angor Rot regenerate his spirit to what it’s supposed to be while Blinky was examining the magical blob. Claire was instead focused on watching the golden outline of Angor Rot.

Once Urbana finished helping Angor Rot, Jim walked into Blinky’s office.

“Uh, whatcha doin' there, Blinky,” Jim asked.

“It’s fascinating, Master Jim. This golden residue seems to be diluting the shadow magic that was previously devouring Angor Rot’s spirit,” Blinky said.

“Wait, it is,” Urbana said, sounding tired and surprised, “I thought I was just containing it.”

“No, see,” Blinky said, “It’s smaller.”

Urbana saw that it was indeed smaller, it looked about the size of a regular baseball and there was a strange puddle forming underneath the blob of contained magic.

“I’m sorry for the mess in your office, Mr. Galadrigal,” Urbana said, “I’ll clean it up after it’s done doing its thing.”

“No. Leave this to me,” Blinky said, “If I study this, maybe we can use the knowledge to help defend against magical foes.”

“I wish I could help,” Claire said.

“Hey, don’t worry about it too much,” Jim said as he went over to pat his girlfriend on her shoulder, “Learning to do your magic without your staff is going to take you some time. Maybe more than you’d like, but you’ll be able to do it.”

Claire placed her hand on top of his and smiled up at him.

Urbana then turned to Angor Rot and asked, “So, what are you going to do now? Are you going to keep haunting Claire or are you going to go explore the world or are you going to cross over now?”

“I’m sorry what?” Claire asked as she and Jim turned to her.

Urbana ignored them as she waited for Angor Rot’s answer.

“I think I’ll stick with you. You always seem ready to help and I would like to help you… If that’s okay,” Angor Rot asked.

Urbana gave him a thumbs up and said, “Sure man. I’ll make sure Draal doesn’t kick your ass in this new transition of your afterlife.”

“What did he say,” Jim asked.

Urbana got them up to speed.

“You also seem to know a lot of people,” Angor Rot said, “Maybe I’ll be able to find some of the people I hurt and/or killed when I was the Pale Lady’s servant and properly apologize to them.”

“Oh, fuck. You’re right,” Urbana said.

“What?” Jim asked.

Urbana turned her attention to Jim then said, “I do know a lot of people. So many of them are teenagers and young adults and all of them have really outrageous lives… I should make a Recovery Meeting. What do you guys think? Would you want to join one if I set up a schedule?”

“What’s that?” Claire asked.

“Oh it’s this thing where a bunch of people with similar lives gather together to talk about their lives and struggles so they can feel less alone and get support,” Urbana said, “My church in Newb—I mean, Northampton did this a lot for pregnant teenagers and drug addicts.”

Jim shrugged, “I guess.”

“Cool! I’ll see you guys around then,” Urbana said as she took out her grandfather’s diary and handed it to Claire, “Have a good day.”

Then with Angor Rot following her, she went home.

# # #

Urbana was walking to the cafeteria, wanting a light lunch, while trying to memorize some new Spanish vocab that she learned in class. Draal and Angor Rot were bickering with each other as they followed close behind her. Then, sitting on the hood of her car, Urbana saw Scarlet in her human female disguise being hit on by five different men and three women.

Urbana went over and said, “Scarlet!? What are you doing here?”

Scarlet lit up and pushed past the crowd she’s gathered then she gestured towards Urbana like she wanted to give her a hug, but she stopped halfway. Urbana, not thinking about it, gave her a hug. The crowd scattered.

“I tried calling you,” Scarlet said, “To tell you that I was in town and that I wanted to talk.”

The two of them stopped hugging so Urbana could pull out her phone. She saw that she missed three phone calls from Scarlet.

“Oh, geez. Sorry about that,” Urbana said, “I just always have my phone on silent.”

“What are you doing right now,” Scarlet asked.

“I was about to go eat,” Urbana said.

“Oh, perfect I can—” Scarlet started to say but suddenly Draal and Angor Rot’s argument started getting louder and harder to ignore.

Urbana turned to them, then said, “Do you two mind? We’re trying to have a conversation here. If you two have to fight, go somewhere else.”

“But what about your safety,” Draal asked.

“I’ll be fine. I’ll be with Scarlet,” Urbana said, “Later the three of us need to have a heart to heart about your guy’s attitudes.”

“I’m going to go explore the planetarium,” Angor Rot said before drifting off towards said area.

“Not without me,” Draal said as he followed the ex-assassin.

Urbana turned back towards Scarlet then said, “Sorry about that. You were saying?”

“I’d like to buy you lunch,” Scarlet said.

“Free lunch? Yes please,” Urbana said as she started heading for her car, “Come on. There’s a sushi place not too far from here that has the best tofu and eggplant soup I’ve ever had.”

“Uh, Urbana,” Scarlet said, “I can drive us there.”

“Oh… Okay,” Urbana said.

Then she got into Scarlet’s car and Urbana guided her to the sushi place.

After they were settled in and after they got their orders taken and been given their drinks, Urbana asked, “What brings you to Westfield?”

“Well, I wanted to talk to you,” Scarlet said.

“Oh?”

“Yah,” Scarlet said, “I’ve heard that you’ve had a rough couple of months.”

“I have, but where are you getting your information,” Urbana asked.

“Over hearing Abe and Liz talking after I got back from my undercover mission,” Scarlet said, “Did you really get into Hell?”

Fiddling with her drink Urbana said, “Yah. It’s not the best place, especially for me.”

Scarlet placed her hand on top of Urbana’s then said, “I know. Are you doing okay?”

“About as okay as anyone can be with the months I’ve had,” Urbana said, “But what about you? How have you been?”

“I helped bust an underground necromancer syndicate in Iran,” Scarlet said.

“That’s nice. What can you tell me about it?” Urbana asked.

Scarlet was telling Urbana about the many times she almost got caught while she was gathering proof when their meals got to them. The two of them ate and told each other how good their food was and then they were silent for a bit.

Then Scarlet said, “Urbana. There’s something I feel like I need to tell you, before something else bad happens to either of us.”

“Okay. Your serious tone is making me nervous. But okay,” She said.

“Sorry for making you feel nervous. It’s nothing bad… At least, I hope you won’t think it’s bad,” Scarlet said.

Okay then,” Urbana said.

Scarlet grabbed her drink and started fiddling with it as she said, “I just wanted to say that… I have… romantic feelings for you.”

“Oh…”

“You’re disappointed?”

“That’s one part of it,” Urbana said, “I’m mostly just sad.”

“Can I ask why,” Scarlet asked, a mix of concern and confusion.

Urbana sighed, then said, “You don’t want to be my friend and/or you never wanted to be my friend to begin with. I’m going to miss hanging out with you because now you’ll be sad that you can’t date me, and you’ll never talk to me again.”

“I very much would like to still be your friend,” Scarlet reassured her, “Ever since our talk after my show at the hotel I wanted to be your friend. I just happened to have developed romantic feelings for you at the same time.”

“Hmm. But no matter how much you’re friendly to me I’m not going to be able to develop romantic feelings for you back,” Urbana said.

“Urbana. I’m a succubus, not a prick,” she said, “I’m not going to expect that from you. If you say you don’t have the same feelings as me, then you don’t. I just wanted to tell you about my feelings because I didn’t want you or me to die before I could say anything.”

“Okay.”

They were silent for a minute or two while they ate.

Then Urbana asked, “What exactly did, or do you find romantically attractive about me anyways?”

Scarlet thought for a moment, then said, “As a succubus, I grew up in a very sexual environment. Metaphorically speaking, it was like I was born in the desert. As I was growing up, I was proud of how I could handle the harsh desert day and the bitter cold nights, and I thought it was fun, but then it started dragging on me. The desert I revealed in kept making me feel tired, broken, and alone. I would struggle to find any kind of difference and sometimes I found small little oasis’s but eventually the desert calmed them, and I’d be on the move again. Then when I met you, it was like finding the Garden of Eden. I was at first terrified of what I saw, since it was so different from the environment I grew up in and even the oasis’s reminded me of the desert. Then I got to know you, and the Garden of Eden that you are, and I found myself enjoying the greenery, the shade, the warm nights and the cool days… I hope you know what I mean.”

Urbana’s face felt warm as she said, “That’s beautiful. Do you think I could use that in one of my stories?”

“Oh! Uh, sure,” Scarlet said, “I won’t mind.”

They were silent for a minute more while they ate.

Then Urbana said, “Maybe, I could give it a try.”

“What’s that?”

“Dating. You specifically,” Urbana said.

Scarlet felt her heart leap, but she tried to keep her composure, “Oh, but I don’t want you to feel like I’m forcing you.”

“I appreciate that, but I do feel like that this is my decision… Like, if I’m going to date anyone, I suppose I’d prefer to date a friend that I know well enough,” Urbana said, “Uh, if you’ll have me?”

“Yes, please,” Scarlet said.

“With that out of the way, we better finish eating quickly, my next class will start in like thirty minutes,” Urbana said.

The two of them finished eating their meals and Scarlet gave Urbana a ride back to school.

# # #

It was a lovely moonless night, when Angela started laying her egg in her and Broadway’s room. Broadway and Goliath were helping her lay her egg while pained groans and yells emitted from their room. Everyone was waiting outside their room except for the turtle boys and Fu Dog, who were looking after Haley, Red, and Raven down in the living room. Grandmama and Morticia had rags and a tub of boiling water at the ready for when Goliath calls for them.

“We can call Cousin It if you want,” Gomez told Hudson.

“No, it will be fine,” Hudson said, “It sounds like the normal egg laying process in there. I’m sure Angela will be fine.”

“But she was so round before she started to give birth,” Pugsley said, “Won’t it hurt a lot.”

“Well, yes,” Jake said, “but gargoyle eggs come out soft then after a couple of days they harden. The real danger for an unhatched gargoyle is the egg becoming damaged somehow before it can harden.”

“I’m impressed that you know that about us,” Lex said.

“I’m the American Dragon,” Jake said, “It’s my job to know important stuff like this.”

“Too bad Elisa couldn’t be here for this,” Brooklyn said, “I know Broadway and Angela would have appreciated her presence in there.”

“Don’t worry,” Urbana said, “I know it’s been a while since I sent Beetlejuice on his mission with Reta and the kids, but I know he’ll send us a message soon.”

“Shh,” Wednesday said, “I think they’re done.”

Everyone responded to the silence in the room with more silence. Then the door opened and Goliath stuck his head out then beckoned for Grandmama and Morticia to bring in the water and rags.

From behind the door, Broadway said, “Do you guys want to see the egg?”

Everyone wanted to except for Urbana and Lex. Urbana didn’t want to see the egg yet because she didn’t want to see any unnecessary bodily fluids that might make her faint or throw up. Lex didn’t want to see the egg yet because he was getting a face time phone call from Peridot.

“Hey, Peridot, Angela successfully managed to lay her egg,” Lexington told her.

“I will be sure to send you a commemorative fruit basket for the occasion,” she said, “but I have news. I finally know what types of technology the Foot Clan is using.”

“Oh, wow,” Urbana said over Lex’s shoulder, “It’s been months since you started that quest.”

“Yes,” Peridot said as she adjusted her visor, “An unfortunate side effect from the fact that there are thousands of lifeforms across the galaxy and because of Homeworld’s previous isolationist views, all the information I found was severely outdated.”

“But you managed to find the information you were looking for,” Lex asked.

“Yes,” Peridot said, “Through my visor robonoids’s video capture and pictures that they’ve taken of the various fights that they’ve captured in New York, between the Foot and Hunts Clans, I’ve distinguished three different alien technologies that isn’t the Gem technology that we’ve previously established. What I can discern from my research and what the robonoids have provided, the technology that the Foot Clan is using, is a combination of Cybertronian Technology, Akiridion Technology, and Earth Technology.”

“Earth Technology isn’t alien,” Lex said.

“Helllloooo! It’s alien to me,” Peridot said.

Lexington looked sheepish while Urbana said, “Good job. Now that we have that information, maybe now we can talk to these different aliens about their technology and ask them how we can properly disarm the Foot Clan.”

“That may prove to be more difficult than you may think,” she said.

“Why’s that,” Urbana asked.

“The Cybertronians are in the middle of a Civil War that’s been raging for a few hundred millenniums. We’re not even sure if Cybertronians are still alive out there,” Peridot said, “And us Gems aren’t exactly on the best terms with the people on Akiridion-5 because of our planetarily destructive past.”

Urbana sighed.

Lex said, “Well, it’s a start. Thank you, Peridot.”

“My pleasure,” she said, “Earth’s my home too. Don’t be afraid to call me if you need me.”

With her statement acknowledged, Lex hung up.

“You glad Gomez and Morticia got you that phone,” Urbana asked him.

“Yah, it’s great. Ready to go see the egg with everyone else,” Lex asked.

“Oh, no. I’ll come and see it when it’s hard,” Urbana said before running away downstairs.

# # #

Urbana was walking downstairs as she was thinking and compiling notes on who was willing to join her organized Recovery Meeting thing when she felt a presence behind her and knew she was under attack. Urbana quickly spun around with a round house kick and kicked Raph in his ribs, sending him flying over the stair railings. Raph managed to grab onto the railings with one hand while holding his sais in his other, preventing his fall from the fourth floor to the first. Urbana screamed at the sight and immediately pulled him back up on to the stairs.

“Oh God. Are you okay?” Urbana asked him.

“That was awesome,” Raph said as he put away his sais, “How many fighting techniques do you know?”

“I’m not keeping track,” Urbana said then she placed her hands on his shoulders then said, in a serious tone, “Please don’t you ever sneak up on me like that ever again. Things like this have been spiking my adrenaline and making me have flashback, and it’s why I’ve asked Gomez to stop his surprise attacks on me too. I just didn’t think to ask you or your brothers to not do it.”

“Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t know,” Raph said.

“I know. This is my first time telling you,” Urbana said as she let go of him.

“Do you want to spar with me and my brothers?” Raph asked, “They’re already outside.”

Urbana thought about it for a moment, then she sighed, then said, “Okay. Sure. I’ll be right out.” Then she started walking back upstairs to get her weapons and put on her jumpsuit.

Along with the turtle boys, Urbana found Master Splinter, Gomez, Jake, Haley, and Rose outside on the front lawn with Draal and Angor Rot floating above everyone and watching. At the moment, everyone was watching Don and Leo spar with each other. Urbana went to stand beside Gomez.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Gomez said under his breath, “You’re going to learn so much from them.”

“Yah. That’s the plan of why I’m here,” Urbana whispered back.

Leo had managed to pin Don with one of his swords, and Master Splinter said, “Yame!”

The two separated. Bowed to each other, then they both walked towards where everyone else was standing.

“Mr. Addams, You’ve known Jake, Rose, and Urbana longer than I have, who do you suggest should fight one of my boys,” Splinter asked.

“My Dear, Urbana here, has been training in hand-to-hand combat since April and has picked up learning the sanjiegun and the shéng biāo in June. Except for fencing she’s rather new to fighting like this. I suggest putting her against your son Leo. He seems to have the most self-control and I believe she can learn the most form him,” Gomez said.

Master Splinter nodded his head.

Leo was already walking out to the designated battle area while Urbana was debating on which of her weapons she should use.

Gomez patted her shoulder and said, “For this fight, you should go weaponless. It’s good to practice situations when you won’t have anything on you but your wits and your fists.”

Urbana shrugged then said, “Okay. It’ll be a fun challenge.”

Then she walked out to face Leo.

“Uh, aren’t you going to use one of your weapons?” Leo asked.

“I’ll be practicing without one,” Urbana said, “It’ll be fun.”

Leo got into a fighting stance with his twin katanas raised in the air and he said, “Alright then. I’ll be sure to go easy on you.”

Getting into her own fighting stance, she said, “Oh. You’ll go easy on me? My, what a gentleman.”

“Hajime!” Master Splinter barked.

Leo ran at her at full speed, his twin katanas pointed to maim.

Urbana side stepped him, dodged his swing with is left katana, then spun around and kicked him in his back. It made Leo tumble forward, and he almost face planted into the cold earth.

Urbana then advanced at him. She tied to do a flying kick at him, but he blocked her using his twin katanas and she almost got cut up to ribbons, but she managed not to by dropping to the ground and rolling away from him so she could get back up on her feet.

Leo started slashing at Urbana, left, right, up, down, repeat. It was wild, but Urbana was managing to evade him, if barely. Then in the middle of a downward swing, Urbana saw her opening. She moved in close, past his weapons, then managed to elbow him in the nose.

With Leo discombobulated, Urbana took her chance to disarm him by grabbing him by his shell then throwing him a couple of feet away from her. In Urbana’s grasp was one of Leo’s Katanas. Urbana wanted to geek out about holding a weapon she’s seen in all of her favorite anime, but she managed to compose herself.

“Is this part of you going easy on me,” Urbana asked Leo who was getting up from the ground and was wiping away the blood from his nose.

Leo’s brother’s and Jake Ooooh-ed at him.

Leo said nothing, but he did look annoyed.

Leo then got into a fighting stance that was suitable for holding one katana and Urbana mimicked him. The two of them circled each other. Then Leo went at Urbana and Urbana went at him, but as soon as their katanas collided, Urbana lost her grip on the weapon and then before she knew it, Urbana was pinned to the ground and had the point of a katana at her throat.

“Yame!” Master Splinter command.

Leo backed off and helped Urbana back on her feet.

“That was so much fun,” Urbana said, “Are you okay. I didn’t break your nose, did I?”

“No. It’ll be fine,” He said as he wiped away more blood. He started looking around for his other katana, “Awe, man,” he said, seeing it.

Urbana turned to see where he was looking at and saw it stuck between a few tree branches.

“I’ll get it,” Urbana said, “You go stop your bleeding before I faint at the sight of you.”

Urbana easily climbed up the tree then had Angor Rot and Draal fly her down and she handed the teenager his deadly weapon.

“Your sword, your majesty,” Urbana said as he handed it to him.

“Thanks,” he said as he took it with one hand while holding his nose in a rage with the other.

“Now Urbana,” Gomez said, “What did you learn?”

“That my agility and speed could be worked on and I need to learn to hold back cause I didn’t intend to make him bleed when I got him in the face, and when I got his sword, I got a little cocky, I tried not to be, but I still was, and that was my downfall in the end,” Urbana said.

Gomez got that proud, teary eyed look and he went in to give Urbana a hug.

“Gomez is this really necessary,” Urbana said as she was being squished by him.

“I don’t know. I think it’s sweet,” Mikey said.

“I’m just so proud of you and the process you’ve made,” Gomez said. He hugged her for a minute longer then let go of her.

Urbana dramatically gasped for air.

For a few hours, Urbana hung out with Master Splinter, his sons, Jake, Rose, Draal, Angor Rot, and Gomez outside on the Addams family’s front lawn, sparing with them and learning how to be a better fighter.

# # #

Urbana was hanging out with Angela and Broadway in their room, sketching them together with their egg when Urbana got a phone call from Lydia.

“Hey, haven’t heard from you in a while,” Urbana said as she gestured to Broadway and Angela that they could stop posing, “Are you needing artistic advice or something?”

“No, Beetlejuice is here. At my house. Get everyone over here,” Lydia said.

Urbana stood up in shock and said, “Oh shit! I’ll tell everyone and we’ll be right there.” Then Urbana hung up her phone.

“What is it,” Broadway asked.

“Beetlejuice is back,” Urbana said, “Goliath is in his room, right?”

“He should be,” Angela said.

Urbana left her sketching kit on their bed then ran off. She gathered Goliath, Master Splinter, Jake, and Morticia and they all drove off to Lydia’s house. They were swiftly let in by Lydia’s parents and greeted warmly by everyone in their relatively small living room.

“Where’s that old bastard,” Urbana asked, excited to see him.

“Right here, Toots,” Beetlejuice said, but Urbana wasn’t exactly sure where it was coming from.

Lydia pointed at her left shoulder, then Urbana saw Beetlejuice.

“Damn, Beetlejuice. You’re a funko pop now,” Urbana said.

“Yah, I’m spread a little thin right now and my powers are close to maxing out,” he said.

“Are you needing my energy?” Urbana asked.

“No. Not right now,” Beetlejuice said, “I’m here to update you all.”

Goliath pushed Urbana out of the way and asked, “What is happening with Elisa? Is she safe? Is she hurt? Why hasn’t she called us yet?”

“Woah, big guy. I’m going to need you to relax,” Beetlejuice said.

Morticia went over to Goliath and grabbed his arm gently, then she said, “Come. Sit with me on the couch.”

“We’ve made refreshments,” Charles said.

“We have water, green tea, hot coco, orange juice, and coffee,” Delia listed, “Any takers?”

Everyone that was relaxed enough to want a drink, Urbana, Master Splinter, and Morticia, asked for them, then once everyone was settled and had their drinks, Beetlejuice started his report.

“Okay. I’m going to start with your questions Gargoyle man, because you were very intense. Elisa’s fine. She and her brother were captured by the Huntsclan, but me and the kids managed to help them escape and right now Talon and The Mutants are on the move, helping keep the magical creatures of New York safe from the Huntsclan while Elisa’s undercover in the Huntsclan. She managed to find the kid’s families,” Beetlejuice said.

“So they do have them,” Jake said as he stood up. Looking like he was wanting to go and fly straight to New York to set his family free.

Master Splinter placed a calming hand on Jake’s forearm, “Steady yourself. He has yet to finish.”

Jake sat back down.

Beetlejuice continued, “Everyone is fine, except for the dragon man, uh, Luong Lao Shi.”

“Grandpa…,” Jake whispered, barely containing his worry and fury.

“When I found them, they were getting ready to kill him, but I managed to dissuade them from doing it, but I don’t know how much longer I can keep them from it,” Beetlejuice said, “But fear not, there’s going to be an opening tomorrow night to not only hurt their operation but to free your families. Apparently, some Russian dude gifted the Huntsclan some powerfully charged beings. When I saw them, they looked like the magical embodiment of ice magic, fire magic, and plant magic.”

“Wait, a Russian dude kidnapped Jack Frost,” Urbana asked, despairing because she literally just saw him a few weeks ago.

“No. It’s not the kid,” Beetlejuice said, “This magical entity feels older and much more deadly. Here’s what Elisa has planned.”

Beetlejuice then told them what they were going to do tomorrow night.


	33. Returning Home

It was a cold April 1st, and the waxing moon was shining dimly over the city of New York. Urbana was sitting in Casey’s and April’s white van with the two adults, Spud, Trixie, Pugsley and Wednesday, sitting a couple of blocks away from where the Huntsclan hideout was. The funko pop sized Beetlejuice was sitting on Urbana’s shoulder, using her energy to help sustain his powers while he’s spread so thin. It felt weird to Urbana for Beetlejuice to be taking her energy, not just because it’s the first time he’s done it, but mainly because he takes in her energy in little slurps whenever his energy is low. Urbana’s used to ghost’s taking her energy like they’re people who haven’t drank any water in three days and they’re just chugging away at her until she’s forced to make them stop, but in like slow motion.

Inside the Huntsclan base, Elisa, the turtle boys, Rose, and Jake, were creeping around doing their best to sneak Jake’s and his friend’s families out of the base and replacing them with Beetlejuice’s illusions using, Reta and her gang to help him do it. While right outside at a grouping point on the Huntsclan’s base roof were Goliath, Broadway, Lexington, Brooklyn, Steven, Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl, who were going to help silently fly Jake’s and his friend’s families to April and Casey’s white van. The longer it takes for the Huntsclan to notice anything wrong going on under their noses, the better it’ll be for everyone.

“Trixie. Your parents will be coming soon,” Beetlejuice informed her.

Trixie nodded her head, her body tense with anticipation.

Ten minutes pass and they heard someone land on the roof of their van, then there was a knock on the back door of the van. Pugsley and Wednesday opened the door to reveal Goliath helping Trixie’s mother and father down into the van. Trixie’s mother was wearing an airline uniform and Trixie’s father was wearing a casual suite with a little button on his suite jacket showing that he works in the air force. They both looked exhausted and ragged, since they haven’t had the chance to clean themselves or have a proper time to sleep. Once the two of them had climbed in and Pugsley and Wednesday closed the van doors, Trixie scrambled over to hug her parents. Both parties crying quietly as they embraced.

Interrupting the moment, Pugsley said, “We brought snacks and drinks. Would you like some?”

“I could use some water,” Trixie’s mother said, and the father agreed.

Casey and April passed back to them two bottles of water while Urbana asked for some of the tea that Grandmama made for her since she was feeling low on energy.

With Trixie sitting between her parents, the two adults introduced themselves. The woman was named Dorothy Carter and the man was named Hank Carter. They were talking about how they were captured and how worried they were about their daughter.

“Sorry to interrupt, but Spud your mother will be here soon,” Beetlejuice said.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to seeing these sorts of things,” Hank said, staring at Beetlejuice.

“I promise you, you will,” Trixie said, “Everyone’s really cool once you get to know them.”

Ten minutes later the sound of someone landing on the roof of the van alerted them of their arrival, and they knocked on the back doors of the van. Wednesday and Pugsley opened the door to Steven and Garnet helping Spud’s mother get into the van.

She was wearing an Italian flag themed apron over a lime green dress and she was wearing a pair of red horn-rimmed glasses. Her glasses were cracked, and she looked just as bad as Trixie’s parents, dirty and tired looking. Spud raced into his mother’s embrace and there was more crying, and Spud’s mother was covering him in kisses while Wednesday and Pugsley closed the van doors.

Interrupting their moment, Pugsley informed them of the snacks and drinks that they have.

“I’ll take a capri sun,” Spud’s mother said.

Once Spud and his mother were settled in and she got her drink, Spud’s mother introduced herself as Andrea Spudinski. She was telling everyone how she hasn’t seen everyone since they were all captured together and then being imprisoned by the Huntsclan, and how worried she was for Spud, but she refused to give up hope.

Everyone was talking in quiet voices. Afraid that if they spoke any louder than normal, they’d somehow alert the Huntsclan.

“Rose’s family will be here shortly,” Beetlejuice said.

Ten minutes passed. Then Beetlejuice took a sudden large swig of energy out of Urbana and it made her feel lightheaded. Urbana grabbed on to anyone that she could touch, and she managed to grab Wednesday by her shoulder.

“Are you okay,” Wednesday asked.

“No. I need to eat something,” Urbana said.

Spud handed her a few granola bars and after Urbana had eaten them, Beetlejuice said, “Sorry. They almost got caught.”

Urbana patted Beetlejuice’s greasy head wordlessly. She understood what she was doing and what it would do to her.

Ten more minutes go by and there was a knock on the van’s back door. Wednesday and Pugsley opened it to reveal Brooklyn and Amethyst helping Rose’s family. The three of them clamored in and Pugsley and Wednesday closed the van doors behind them.

Rose’s family looked ragged and tired, just like everyone else that they’ve managed to rescue so far. Their casual clothes torn and dirty. They introduced themselves. Rose’s mother was called Anna Smith, Rose’s father was called Louie Smith, and her twin sister was named Melody Smith. Melody looked like she was in higher spirits than the adults around her.

“It’s so nice to meet you all,” Melody said, “Have you guys seen my sister in her ninja outfit?”

Everyone nodded.

“Isn’t she the coolest,” Melody said, “I knew she’d come for us. I got to see a dragon and giant Kappas and gargoyles and magic shape shifting ladies. This is like the best rescue.”

“Granted, it’d be nice if we didn’t need rescuing,” Louie said.

Nodding her head, Anna placed her hands over his shoulders and drew him into her.

Urbana was answering Melody’s questions and explaining how she can hear the dead in anything, like Jim’s amulet and stuff like that when Beetlejuice said, “Okay. We’ve busted out Jake’s ma and pa, but we still have to get Jake’s gramps out. Those three are under the heaviest security so they’ll be a bit longer.”

Everyone was silent now. Waiting in tense anticipation for what Beetlejuice would say next.

“Uh-oh,” Beetlejuice said.

“I don’t like that you said that,” Trixie said.

“Good, because one of my illusions were discovered,” Beetlejuice said.

“Don’t panic. As long as they don’t make assumptions that every prisoner they have is missing, then the need to search the whole base for everyone probably won’t go that badly,” Urbana said.

“Which of the illusions did they find out,” Spud asked.

“They threw a platter of food at Anna’s face,” Beetlejuice said.

The Smith family scowled, bad memories of how they’ve been treated by the Huntsclan filling their heads.

“Have you warned the others,” Hank, Trixie’s father, asked.

“They’re the first people I told,” Beetlejuice said, “The Huntsclan are checking the other prisoners… Our inside team managed to get Jake’s grandpa.”

“Oh, good,” Wednesday said, “Then once they get here, we should bail and deal with their weird Russian gifts later. We’ve got to get everyone to safety.”

“Jake has split off from the team,” Beetlejuice said.

“Hijo de puta,” Urbana cussed.

“Tell him to turn his skinny little ass around,” Trixie said.

“Ask him what he’s thinking,” Spud said.

“And Rose has split off from the team to go after Jake. Everyone is on the roofs and are flying to our pickup spot except for Steven. He’s staying behind on the roof,” Beetlejuice said.

Ten minutes later there was the sound of several people landing on top of the van and knocking on the van doors. Wednesday and Pugsley opened the door and the Long family scrambled in with an unconscious old man in Jake’s mom’s arms. Then, shrinking down to funko pop size, Pearl, Amethyst, and Garnet got into the van with Elisa, Goliath, Broadway, Lexington, and Brooklyn piling in and Leo, Raph, Don, and Mikey squeezing into whatever room they could find.

“It’s looking like we’re running out of room,” April said as she looked at them through the rear-view mirror.

“How is the old man,” Casey asked.

“He’s severely hurt,” Urbana said while she looked him over in Jake’s mom’s arms, “But he’s not astral projecting so that’s a good thing… I hope.”

“Jake and Rose are teamed up again but now the whole base knows their prisoners aren’t their prisoners anymore,” Beetlejuice said.

“Well that was short lived,” Andrea, Spud’s mother, said.

“We’re not leaving them behind are we,” Brooklyn asked.

“I will smack anyone who says we are,” Jake’s mom said.

“I’ll hold Luong for you while you do,” Jake’s dad said while gingerly grabbing the unconscious old man.

“The Huntsclan don’t know that we’re hiding in a van or anything like that,” Leo said, “We can technically stay here for as long as they need.”

Urbana got comfy, asked for her snacks and more tea then said, “Alright Beetlejuice. Tell Reta and her gang to start fucking shit up. Give them my energy. We’re going to give them as much time as we can give them.”

Beetlejuice laughed maniacally, then exclaimed, “It’s show time!”

From the van that everyone was hiding in, they could hear the distant sounds of screaming and things being broken.

Five minutes pass and Beetlejuice said, “Jake and Rose have found those magical beings I told you about and they’re in the process of freeing them.”

Then Beetlejuice glitched weirdly with green energy. Then a woman’s voice came out of him, “Please. Don’t release us. I’ve worked so hard to get us captured.”

Everyone in the van looked between themselves, unsure of what’s going on.

“My name is Nari, Jake Long, and I don’t have time to tell you my story but know that releasing just one of us will release all of us and you’ll doom all life on this planet. Just leave us to these hunters. Whatever they’ll use us for, whatever happens to us, it’ll be better than you freeing us.”

There was the sound of an explosion then Beetlejuice didn’t have that weird green energy around him anymore.

“Are you okay,” Pugsley asked him.

“Yah, why what’s… I see there was an explosion,” Beetlejuice said.

“How are our kids,” Pearl asked from Goliath’s shoulder.

“They really need to bail. Like now,” Beetlejuice said, “The ice and fire magic people are starting to destroy even more stuff. Jake, Rose, and the plant magic person are running to the roof where Steven is still waiting for them.” Five minutes later Beetlejuice said, “Okay. They’ve rejoined with each other and are heading our way.”

“Then tell Reta and the gang to scatter and head back home,” Urbana said, feeling super woozy, “and tell them to be careful.”

“You bet,” Beetlejuice said as he started to grow in size as all his pieces were starting to come back to him.

Less than five minutes later, Rose and a strange looking green lady got up front with Casey and April with Rose yelling, “Go! Go! Go!”

Dragon claws sunk into the roof of the van as April started the van then floored it.

Rose then turned around and said, “Beetlejuice. They’re hanging on up there. Could you use your ghost powers to make them intangible and invisible?”

“I can do that easy,” Beetlejuice said before fazing through the roof to help Steven and Jake.

It was a long, intense, and bumpy ride, but eventually the van made it to Beach City were everyone was waiting for them. There was much celebrating and a lot of food and drinks that was provided by Grandmama and Greg at Steven’s home.

While everyone was talking about what happened and celebrating the fact that they got their families back and talking about what to do next, Urbana sleepily went over to the strange green lady who was sitting by herself on the sand, next to the ocean.

“Hey. You seem upset,” Urbana said, hazily.

“I am upset,” she said, “I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m so tired of running from my siblings, but any plans I make I just can’t seem to make work.”

“You’re Nari, right?” Urbana asked.

She nodded.

“Nice to meet you,” Urbana said with a yawn, then she extended her hand out for her to shake. Nari shook it tentatively.

“If you want help, I know some people who could, like Grandmama. She’s a wise old witch. Then there’s people like Jim and Blinky. Blinky knows a lot of things about a lot of magic and Jim’s the Trollhunter. I don’t know if you know what that is or not—”

“I do,” she said.

“—but I know he’ll help you too. We’ll all help you,” Urbana said, ending it with a large yawn.

“Thank you. I’d appreciate that,” Nari said.

“Hey, before I conk out, can I sleep on your shoulder or on your lap or something?” Urbana asked, so tired, she’s not very aware of what she’s saying, “You smell like a cool summer breeze on a tall grassy hill surrounded by poppy flowers. You just feel like a really cozy person.”

“I don’t mind at all,” Nari said as she offered her lap for Urbana to sleep on.

As soon as Urbana rested her head on Nari’s lap, she fell a sleep to the sound of the ocean and to the sound of background talking.

# # #

A week later, Urbana woke up in her bed with Gizmo and Nari staring down at her.

Urbana sat up then asked, “What time is it?”

“It’s ten in the morning,” Nari said.

“Oh, good. I didn’t miss too much of the day then,” Urbana said as she got out of bed and stretched. Her back, shoulders, and hips popping as she yawned, “But boy do I have the worst case of cotton mouth and I’m really hungry. Is everyone down in the kitchen?”

As they were walking downstairs with Gizmo in Urbana’s hair, Nari was telling Urbana that Steven had healed Jake’s grandpa and that Master Splinter and Luong Lao Shi were playing an intense game of shogi together with Fu Dog watching them. Elisa was sleeping in Goliath’s room and has been coming out when the Manhattan Clan is awake. Wednesday, Pugsley, Haley, Leo, Don, Mikey, and Raph were outside playing tag and other games with each other. Lurch went into town to go grocery shopping with Morticia, Grandmama, Anna, Andrea, Dorothy, April, and Susan, Jake and Haley’s mother. Gomez, Fester, Hank, Louie, Casey, and Johnathan, Jake and Haley’s father were hanging out together at the lake, getting to know each other. Spud, Jake, Rose, Melody, and Trixie were hanging out in the living room.

“Man. This house is getting full,” Urbana said as she headed for the kitchen, “Are you wanting anything to eat.”

“I don’t “eat” like how you mortals do,” Nari said.

Urbana opened the kitchen door and went to make herself a glass of water, “So what do you think you can “eat”?”

“I absorb energy from my environment,” Nari said.

“Then you can sit in the last sunny spot in the kitchen and I’ll make you a cup of tea that you can steam your face over,” Urbana said as she was getting out a box labeled, Cherry Blossom Tea.

“Okay,” Nari said as she went to the sun covered chair.

“Then after I eat, I’ll take you to Jim and the other trolls,” Urbana said, “I’m sure you’ve already talked with Grandmama.”

“I have. She’s a kind soul. I’ll miss her when she dies,” Nari said.

“Same,” Urbana said as she put the water on to boil.

While Urbana and Gizmo were stuffing their faces, Melody came in then yelled, “Guys! She’s awake!”

Then Trixie, Spud, Rose, and Jake came running into the kitchen.

“You look better,” Rose said as she put her hand over Urbana’s forehead, “and you don’t have a fever anymore.”

“You’ve gotten up a couple of times to eat a little something or to drink something or to use the bathroom. How do you feel?” Spud asked.

“I feel fine… When did I do all that? Last thing I remember is falling asleep on Nari,” Urbana said.

“That was a week ago,” Jake said.

“¡Mierda! Again?” Urbana said, “I missed so much school and I was going to work at The Witching Hour for the first time the night after our mission. I assume Morticia or Gomez called up my school and workplace for me like they did last time.”

“They did,” Nari said, then she sniffed the tea that was in front of her.

Urbana sighed then said, “I’ve got so much catching up to do.” Then Urbana got up, threw away her leftover food, then rinsed off her dishes to be cleaned later. Then to Nari she said, “Come on. You’ve waited on me for a whole week. Let’s get you to Jim and his gang.”

“Oooo!” Melody squealed, “Can I come on your adventure?”

“Uh…,” Urbana said as she looked to Rose.

“I’d like to go too,” Rose said and everyone else echoed her statement.

“It’ll be nice to get out of the mansion,” Trixie said.

“Okay. But everyone but Jake and Nari have to blindfold themselves,” Urbana said, “This is like a lot of people and I was only given permission to let Jake know about their new home.”

“That’s fair,” Spud said.

After being stopped by Haley, Pugsley, Wednesday, and the turtle boys and talking to them for a minute or two, Urbana, Nari, Jake, Melody, Rose, Trixie, and Spud all piled into Urbana’s car, then Spud, Trixie, Rose, and Melody blindfolding themselves like they were told to do. As Urbana was driving them, Melody was asking all kinds of questions about trolls and about what a Trollhunter does and so on while Urbana asked about what was going to happen to them and their families. Urbana learned that within a week or two Jake, his family, his friends, and his friend’s families, and April and Casey will be relocated back into New York in a witness protection program.

“Do you guys _want_ to go back to New York?” Urbana asked them.

“Well, yah,” Jake said.

“It’s our home,” Trixie said, with Rose nodding in agreement with her.

“Plus it’s a magical epicenter, right? I want to help Rose and Jake with their magical duties and stuff,” Melody said.

“And the pizza you have here, just isn’t as good as it is in New York,” Spud said.

Urbana parked her car near the abandoned parking lot, then with Jake and Nari’s help, Urbana led everyone to the secret entrance to New Trollmarket in the forgotten park. Once everyone was inside, and the mystical entrance closed behind them, Urbana told them that they could take off their blindfolds and they did.

Melody danced in placed and sing-songed, “I’m so excited.”

“Blinky will appreciate that enthusiasm,” Urbana said.

Urbana then led everyone down into the underground town and to Blinky’s office. Jim, Claire, and Blinky were there along with a very tall, skinny old man, holding a staff with a green gem on the top.

“And what, pray tell, are you hooligans doing here,” the tall old man asked.

Urbana was going to answer, but then Melody went up to him and grabbed his hand and she was shaking his hand so hard, the old man looked like he was vibrating, “I’m Melody. It’s so nice to meet you. My sister and our friends are allies. But we’re also just getting out of the house for a while. Are you a witch? Can you do magic? Can you teach me magic?”

Rose and Jake went over to Melody and pried her off the old man.

While rubbing his hand, the old man said, “This is why I don’t like children. Always so rude.”

“Oh. I’m sorry,” Melody said.

Urbana thought it was rude of him to say that, so she said, “Is there a reason you’re here? Because I have something to discuss with the Trollhunter and his team, so if you could just mosey along, that’d be great.”

Blinky, Jim, and Claire, were silently and worriedly watching the two of them interact.

“As a matter a fact, I am here for a reason,” the old man said, “About a week ago, there was a large surge of magical, wild energy that came out of New York. A magical energy I haven’t felt since I was a young wizard. I need the Trollhunter to investigate it with me.”

“Well, I need to discuss with the Trollhunter and his team about getting Nari some protection from her siblings,” Urbana said as she went over to the little green woman and placed her hand on her shoulder, “She’s been doing her best by herself, but she’s having difficulties. I’m sure you can investigate the destroyed Huntsclan base by yourself.”

The old man bent down to examine Nari. Then he said, “You are part of the wild magic that I sensed.”

“That’s right, Merlin,” Nari said, “I apologize on my sibling’s behalf.”

“You know him too,” Jake asked.

“Not personally,” Nari said, “I’m naturally connected to all living creatures on this planet.”

“You are a part of the Arcane Order,” Merlin said.

“I was,” Nari said, “I tried to talk my siblings into seeing things my way, but it was clear to me that they had no real desire to protect anyone or anything, I managed to trap us in magical vaults, to be hidden away from the world for, forever, but then a man found us. A man touched by dark forces, gifted us to the Huntsclan.”

“I will help protect you then,” Merlin said, “You can come live with us in Camelot. You’ll be safest there.”

“Thank you,” Nari said.

“Well with that settled then, Rose and I are familiar with the magical world,” Jake said, “Since it’s still day light out, we can help instead until the sun goes down.”

Merlin went up to Jake then forced his mouth open to look inside, and he pulled at his ears and examined Jake’s body by pulling him around into weird positions. Urbana got in between them.

“Do you mind!?” Urbana said, “You didn’t even ask for his permission to do all of that stuff.”

“I see that you’re a dragon shifter. I thought your kind went extinct,” Merlin said, ignoring Urbana, “I could use someone like you. Let’s go.”

Merlin banged his staff on the ground, then green magic encircled himself, Nari, Jake, and Rose, then they were gone.

“Awe! No! Take me with you,” Melody said.

Spud patted her back then said, “Relax. There’s always next time. Besides. We’re on our own magical adventure.”

While Trixie, Spud, and Melody were talking among themselves, Urbana went up to Jim, Blinky, and Claire.

“That old man’s such an asshole. Are you guys okay?” Urbana asked them.

“You do know who Merlin is, right,” Blinky asked.

“Yah, and he’s an asshole, apparently,” she said.

“I wouldn’t call him an asshole per say,” Jim said, “He’s just hard to work with.”

That still seems to be the definition of an asshole to Urbana, but she said nothing.

Turning to Blinky and Claire, she asked, “Did you guys finish translating Bubble’s diary?”

“Yah, we did,” Claire said, as she went over to Blinky’s study and grabbed the diary, then handed it to Urbana, “It’s a sad ending.”

“Grandpa told me he lost his life to an angry mob,” Urbana said as she stuffed the diary under her arm, “I assumed it would be.”

Then the four of them updated each other on their lives and how they were doing. Jim told her about how he’s figured out how to really enjoy eating troll food like how he used to love eating human food. Claire told her that she’s able to make small portals to move around small objects now. Then Blinky told her about his struggles of being the Elder Leader for New Trollmarket and how he misses his old friend Vendel, even though his spirit is still with him, probably laughing at him fail.

“Hey, so my turtle friends and their rat daddy are going to be house hunting in the sewers and abandoned underground railroads of New York, and I told them I’d ask you guys if they could borrow your gyres for a while to help them search faster,” Urbana asked then she said, “You don’t have to say yes. I’m just asking to be asking.”

“I’d say yes, if I got to know them first,” Blinky said.

“Are you free tonight then? You three can come over for dinner if you want,” Urbana said.

“I believe that would be fantastic,” Blinky said, “Thank you.”

“Then I’ll come back and pick you guys up before I have to go to work, and we’ll get out of your hair,” Urbana said, “You guys probably have a lot to do on your plate and you don’t want to play tour guide to my houseguests.”

“You know what, I will play tour guide,” Jim said, “I’ll be the best Trollhunter tour guide person these flesh-ies will ever see.”

Jim then strutted up to Melody, Spud, and Trixie and asked them if they wanted to see New Trollmarket with him. The three of them agreed, with Melody being the most enthusiastic.

While the four of them were leaving, Urbana said to Claire and Blinky, “I’m going to head up to the surface to make a few phone calls. I’ll see you guys in a few.”

# # #

It was a weekend morning and Urbana was driving the gyres for the turtle boys and Master Splinter through the sewers of New York. Donatello was watching her drive it, wanting to learn how to drive it himself.

“How about here, guys,” Urbana asked as she parked the gyres in front of a broken wall.

Urbana stayed in the gyres while they all got out and took a look inside. Five minutes later they came out saying it was too wet.

As she was driving, Urbana asked, “Why don’t you guys live in New Trollmarket? You won’t have to hide, and you can make so many friends there, and I’m sure that the Trolls won’t mind having you guys there.”

“It is a lovely thought, Miss Des Moines,” Splinter said, “But New York is our home, we don’t want to live anywhere else.”

“But it’s so loud and crowded over here,” Urbana said.

“Yah,” Mikey agreed, “But it’s our loud and crowded city.”

Urbana smiled at that, then she made a left down some train tracks and saw an abandoned subway station. She parked the gyres.

“How about here,” Urbana asked them.

The five of them got out to explore. Five minutes later, Raph was calling for her to come look. She hopped out and followed the sound of their voices. The abandoned subway station was huge, and dusty, and had the remnant of something fancy, with mosaic walls of angels and nature. In the middle of the open space was a large red oak tree with sunshine shinning on it from a relatively large crack in the celling. In the opposite wall was a line of six passenger train cars that looked like they had crashed into this subway a long time ago.

“I wonder why this place was abandoned. It still looks relatively in good shape,” Leo said.

“No clue, but I love it,” Mikey said, then yelled, “I call the first car!” Then he ran for the line of passenger train cars with Raph running after him.

“I think this will make a lovely home for us,” Splinter said.

“I agree. You even get a tree out of it,” Urbana said, “It’s lovely.”

“Thank you,” said a woman, who’s head popped out of the tree.

Urbana looked to Master Splinter to see if he reacted at all to what just happened, and he didn’t. So Urbana announced, “Alright, Gentlemen, know that this place is haunted.”

“Isn’t that a bit harsh to say,” the woman said as she came all the way out of the tree, “Isn’t the concept of haunting a bad thing.” She’s a black woman with long black braids and wearing a yellow-green flower-patterned dress, and her ghostly body was cut in half.

“Are they evil or something? Do we need to exorcise them?” Leo asked.

“Well, now, see what I mean,” the ghost lady said.

“No. I don’t think we’ll need to exorcise her,” Urbana said, while Don went up to the tree to examine it, “Sorry ma’am, do you prefer the idea of us call you a dryad?”

“Oh! I would love that. I’ve always wanted to be a magical creature,” the ghost lady said.

“That’s nice,” Urbana said.

“What’s she saying,” Leo asked.

“Hold on,” Urbana said, then she took a moment to breath then she pulled out a Spirit Ball from her chest that was about the size of a small volleyball.

Don, Leo, and the ghost lady Oh-ed and Ah-ed at the sight. Urbana tossed the orb to the ghost lady and said, “Here. This will help you be see-able for about ten to fifteen minutes.”

The ghost lady was already gobbling it up as she was telling her this. As soon as she finished, the red oak started to blossom red flowers and Master Splinter, Don, and Leo were able to see her.

“Oh, man! I haven’t felt this alive since, well, I was alive,” The ghost lady said.

“Pardon our intrusion, Ma’am,” Master Splinter said, “I hope we are not bothering you.”

“Not at all, Mr. Rat. I haven’t had guests here in forever,” she said, “I’m Ruth. As long as you don’t do anything to damage my tree, I would love to have you guys live here.”

“I think we can manage that,” Master Splinter said.

Mikey then screamed loudly as he was pointing at Ruth, while her legs were hanging upside down from one of her tree branches and her upper body was floating in front of Urbana, Splinter, Don, and Leo.

“I apologize on my son’s behalf,” Splinter said.

“No. His reaction is understandable,” Ruth said.

After fifteen minutes of talking and getting to know Ruth, Urbana, the turtle boys, and Master Splinter got back into the gyres and headed home so they could pack up.

# # #

A farewell night party was being held in the living room of the Addams family mansion. Everyone was there. Jake, Haley, Rose, Trixie, Spud and their families, The Manhattan Clan, Elisa, her brother Talon and the Mutant Clan, April, Casey, Master Splinter and his boys, The Deetz, the Maitland’s, and Beetlejuice, Steven, his father, and the Crystal Gems, Jim, Draal, Angor Rot, and the Trollhunter Team.

Urbana was talking with Angela as she said, “Yah. It’s going to be hard for us living away from our clan, but I just don’t feel safe with our baby being by their self during the day. It’s not like the old days were we’ve made a pack with a large group of humans so that they protect us during the day and we do the same for them during the night. Talon and his clan have their own thing and Elisa’s got work to worry about and honestly, the mansion’s just the safest place for them in this day and age.”

“Well, you’ll have us, and you’ll have Broadway and so will your child,” Urbana said, “and in this day and age it’s a lot easier to communicate with each other over long distances, so you’ll have that.”

“Yes. That’s true,” Angela said.

Broadway came over with a plate of meat and cheese covered crackers and offered them to the two women. Urbana took the meat off the cracker and placed it on Angela’s cracker and then the three of them chowed down.

“You ladies enjoying the night,” he asked.

“Yes,” Angela said.

“Kind of,” Urbana said.

“Oh? What’s wrong,” Broadway asked.

“Large crowds just make me uncomfortable, but I’m also going to miss a lot of you guys,” Urbana said.

Angela chuckled then said, “I think Lexington’s going to miss your computer. Back at our old lair we have a big boxy looking computer that Elisa says is from the 90’s.”

“Oh God. That’s so old,” Urbana said.

“Not as old as us though,” Broadway joked.

Urbana gently chuckled at his joke. Then she moved on to see where else she could make conversation. Urbana passed Fu Dog making conversation with Aaarrrgghh. Urbana passed Jake and his friends talking with Elisa and Goliath about their combined vigilance against what remains of the Huntsclan. Urbana passed Claire and Blinky talking with Grandmama about magic and food. Urbana passed Melody freaking out and being impressed by Toby’s flying war hammer. And Urbana passed Talon talking with Master Splinter. She saw a large tiger man with bat wings sitting by himself on the couch. He’s a part of Elisa’s brother’s clan, so she thought she’d go try talking with him.

Urbana stood in front of him and said, “Uh, hi.”

He gave her a small smile and he waved at her.

“Can I sit with you,” she asked.

He nodded his head and patted the couch cushion beside him.

As she was sitting down, Urbana was starting to think that this was a bad idea as she started to have the desire to pet him, and she knows she shouldn’t because he’s a person not just a cat, but maybe that’s why she wants to pet him so much.

“I’m Urbana. Thanks for coming to our party. I’ve heard about you guys through the Manhattan Clan and the Turtle Squad. What’s your name?” she asked.

The tiger man wrung his clawed hands together as he looked down at the coffee table.

Urbana silently observed him do this for a minute then she asked, “Does it bother you that I’m talking to you?”

He shook his head no.

“Alright then. Are you thirsty?” she asked him.

He nodded his head yes.

“So am I. I’ll be right back,” Urbana said. She came back with some hawaiian punch in a little red cup, “Here you go big guy.”

She plopped back down beside him and the two of them drank their drinks, then Urbana said, “Hey. So if your mute or selectively mute just know I won’t get offended by that. Based on what I know about you guys so far, I know you weren’t a mutant from birth like the turtle boys were. I’m fine with being the only one talking. Okay?”

He nodded his head yes.

“I’m going to tell you about one of the final papers I’m working on in college. Is that okay with you?” she asked him.

The tiger man nodded his head again.

Urbana then spent the next twenty minutes telling the tiger man about her thesis on the book _Paradise Lost._ Pausing every now and again to ask him little yes/no questions so it’ll feel like a real conversation.

When she was done, she got up and said, “It was nice talking to you sir. Hope you have a good night.”

He waved goodbye to her as she walked away to try and find a new group to start a conversation with, but a group found her. It was the rest of the Mutant Clan. Talon and his girlfriend.

“Sir. Ma’am. Uh, what’s your name again,” Urbana asked the lioness woman.

“I’m Maggie, young lady. We won’t take up much of your time,” she said.

“Oh, don’t worry about it. This is a party. I’ve got all the time in the world,” Urbana said.

“We just wanted to thank you on Claw’s behalf,” Talon said as he grabbed Urbana’s hand to shake, “I know he would want to if he could.”

“Thank me for what,” Urbana asked, feeling confused by the strong handshake and grateful sounding words the black panther man was saying.

“For talking with him and giving him openings to interact with the conversation,” Maggie said, “We know he appreciates that.”

Talon let go and Urbana said, “I was just being a decent human being.”

“Yes well, you probably know just as well as we do about how cruel the world can be to anything different from the “norm”,” Talon said, “We just want you to know that we appreciate the kindness you gave our friend.”

“Okay. You’re welcome,” Urbana said, feeling overwhelmed by their gratitude.

Talon patted her head and the two of them walked off to start a conversation with Susan and Johnathan, Jake and Haley’s parents.

Urbana then started to walk around aimlessly, sipping her punch and not knowing what or who to talk with next. Then Brooklyn came up to her.

“Do you want to come outside with me?”

“Yes, please. I need a breather,” she said.

When they went to the main hall and Urbana started going up the stairs, Brooklyn said, “The door’s that way.”

“I want to sit on the roof,” Urbana told him.

“Oh. We can do that,” He said.

The two of them climbed out of the window of the sixth floor and sat on the roof together. It was a chilly night, but there was no wind, so they were fine.

“It’s such a beautiful night,” Urbana said as she laid down to look at the stars.

“It sure is,” Brooklyn said as he sat down beside her.

“You can’t really see the night sky in the city,” she said, “Are you going to miss it?”

“A little, but there’s so much exciting and interesting stuff in New York that I won’t have time to miss it,” he said.

“I’m sure you’re going to miss Broadway and Angela more,” Urbana said.

“Yah. We all are,” Brooklyn said, “We’ve fought, but the thought of going our own paths has never crossed our minds before.”

“I’m sure Angela and Broadway will come back once their child is old enough,” she told him, “You just have to wait until then.”

“Considering how old we are, we can wait a year or two,” Brooklyn said.

From a distance, Urbana could hear Raven and Red crying in their room.

“Oop. The babies need something,” Urbana said as she made her way back inside the mansion.

Brooklyn and Urbana changed the twin’s dippers then rocked them back to sleep, with Urbana humming a little lullaby to them.

Whispering, Brooklyn said, “I can’t wait to see the kid. It’ll be nice to grow our clan like this.”

Urbana smiled at that.

The two of them put the twins back into their crib, and quietly exited their room. As they were closing the door, Beetlejuice was floating up through the floor.

“HEY Urbana—”

Urbana immediately covered his loud mouth with her hand, and she and Brooklyn shushed him.

A second head grew up out of Beetlejuice’s left shoulder and he said in a whisper, “Draal and Angor Rot are fighting again. Let’s watch together.”

“God damn it, those two,” Urbana said under her breath.

Then Urbana and Brooklyn ran down the stairs with Beetlejuice following close behind, holding a bag of cockroach covered popcorn.

# # #

Urbana was on the phone with Scarlet while she was at The Witching Hour bar, setting up the stage for her performance for the night.

“Abe and I found out that the Rusalka weren’t just killing random men but killing the men of Piran who have killed them,” Scarlet said, “After we learned that I was convinced to let them keep doing their thing.”

“I feel like I have to agree with you on that, but I also feel like they should be charged by the proper authorities,” Urbana said.

“That’s what Abe said, but since there was no real proof, and there was the fact that most of the men being killed were in power themselves, I doubted anyone was going to actually do it,” Scarlet said.

Urbana hmm-ed and nodded her head as she was plugging in her mix tape for the music of the night.

“In the end neither Abe or I could really do anything about it as the town flooded and took all the men out to the Gulf of Trieste. The women and children were left alone and all we could do was help clean up and make our reports,” Scarlet said.

“That’s sad,” she said as she tested her mic.

“Don’t be. The men there were despicable,” Scarlet said coldly.

“Still. I don’t like the idea of so many lives being lost. Even if they’re people who deserve it,” she said.

There was a moment of silence between them while Urbana looked over her completed stage set up.

Urbana then said, “Hey. So I’ve been meaning to ask since we started dating, but how do you like to be loved?”

“…What?” Scarlet asked, stunned.

Urbana repeated herself.

“I guess I love that you ask me questions like that,” Scarlet said, then added, “No one’s ever ask me something like that before.”

“That’s really sad,” Urbana said, then asked, “Are you sure you have romantic feelings for me and not just desperate for some kind of kindness in your life?”

Scarlet was silent for a moment, then they said, “I’ll talk to you later.” Then they hung up.

Urbana hung up her phone then stared at it for a bit. She was worried that she may have hurt Scarlet’s feelings, but she felt like it was a question that should be answered with a lot of thought. Urbana tries her best to be kind to anyone and everyone because the world is hard enough as is, and if Scarlet were to get jealous of other people receiving her kindness, Urbana didn’t think she’d like to be in that kind of relationship. Though, Urbana’s not sure if Scarlet is the jealous type or not, even with what she knows about her through the soul thing she did to them.

Urbana sighed then got on stage to do her vocal warmups before singing.

It was two in the morning when Urbana got home. Broadway and Angela were in the kitchen eating tomato soup that Broadway made, and he offered some to Urbana.

“Yah. I could eat before I go to sleep,” Urbana said.

Urbana was answering Angela’s questions about school when Urbana got a face time call from Scarlet.

“How are you feeling,” Urbana asked them as soon as she answered.

“I thought hard about what you asked of me. It’s true that I find your kindness the most attractive part about you, but I also like your voice, and I like your determination, and your work ethic,” Scarlet listed, then said, “And I like getting to know more about you and I want to know more about you. If that’s okay?”

“Yah. It’s okay. I’d like to know more about you too and I think you’re a great storyteller,” Urbana told them.

Scarlet smiled wide, then said, “Thanks. It’s probably really late over there. You should get some sleep.”

“I will. Be sure to take care of yourself as well,” she said.

“Okay. Bye,” Scarlet said before the video chat call ended.

Urbana put away her phone and she looked up to see Angela and Broadway giving her wide, giddy smiles.

“Please stop. Your reactions are the exact reason why I haven’t told anyone I started dating,” Urbana said before drinking some of her tomato soup.

“But it’s so cute,” Broadway said, “How long have you two been dating?”

“When did you two fall in love?” Angela asked.

“It’s only been a couple of weeks and I’m not really in love with Scarlet. It’s complicated. They’re my friend, but I am curious about the whole dating scene thing, and they understand that, but I know that I’m probably leading them on despite them knowing I’m not going to love them like they probably want to be loved,” Urbana said, then she sighed and added, “It’s just complicated.”

The two gargoyles looked between them and they silently left Urbana alone with her thoughts.

# # #

Urbana got back from school. The mansion was so quiet. Bronx wasn’t chasing Fu Dog around. Haley wasn’t watching her cartoons in the living room with Mikey. Angela and Broadway were outside somewhere. There wasn’t the sound of any kind of fighting or messes being made. It was just quiet.

Urbana went to the greenhouse and found Morticia and Cactus Steven there.

“I can’t believe I miss the noise of everyone,” Urbana said, “There was a time that I wanted everyone gone for that peace and quiet but now it’s just too quiet.”

“Yes. That is the dilemma we’ve been trying to fix,” Morticia said, “But we can’t force people to stay and everyone leaves eventually. Though, with almost everyone back in New York, we can take down the illusion and distraction spells on our property and we can start offering our home to future tenants and vacationers again. That’ll be fun.”

“I’m not sure I want to get to know more new people,” Urbana said, “I know enough already.”

Morticia gave her an indulgent smile, then said, “That’s fine, Dear. Do you have time to help me prune my fern plant? C.S. is trying his best but he doesn’t exactly have the dexterity for this type of thing.”

“Sure.” Urbana said as she picked up some scissors.


	34. A Lovely May

Urbana and the rest of the Addams family were pleasantly surprised that not only were the Fenton’s home, but Hellboy, Liz, and Abe were present too.

While the Addams were greeting the Fenton’s and Hellboy, Urbana went up to Abe and Liz.

“Hello, handsome,” Urbana said, “Good to see you again,” then to Liz she said, “and how’s my favorite firefly?”

“We could be better,” Liz said, “but it’s good to see everyone again.”

“Anything new happen to you, that’s, you know, good,” Abe asked.

“Yah,” Urbana said, “But honestly, I’m excited to explain to you guys, my family tree on my mom’s side of the family. Specifically, with my grandpa. It’s like, crazy.”

“Well, you’ll have us for three days, so I hope it’s not too long,” Liz said, as she lightly punched Urbana in the shoulder.

“Awe, it’s too bad you three can’t stay longer,” Urbana said.

“No, it’s just Liz and I,” Abe said, “Hellboy’s going to be staying the whole month.”

“Oh, perfect. He’ll have more time to spend with Raven and Red,” Urbana said.

“That’s the plan,” Liz said.

“So why aren’t you guys staying long,” Urbana asked.

“Work,” Liz said.

“We got word that a lot of magical interference was going on in England,” Abe said, “Our flight will take us there in three days’ time.”

“Well then I hope we can talk a lot before you go,” Urbana said before leaving them be to talk to whoever.

Urbana then went to Danny and pulled him aside. Holding on to him only long enough to hide themselves behind his family’s RV.

“I want to ask you something,” Urbana said under her breath.

“Okay,” Danny said, quietly, but not as quietly as Urbana, “What is it?”

“Well. I guess I’ll inform you first then I’ll ask,” Urbana said.

“Okay?”

“So, um, I started to date someone,” Urbana said.

“What!” Danny screeched.

Wednesday looked behind the RV and asked, “What’s wrong?”

“I was telling Danny about how long I’ll have to wait for the new season of the DarkLight anime, that I was watching, to come out,” Urbana said, “He’s just hamming up his reaction.”

Wednesday then shrugged and went back to interacting with her family.

“How long have you been dating this person,” Danny asked, with a whisper.

“A little over a month now,” Urbana said, “But this is about my question.”

“Oh. Yah. Go on,” he said.

“Will Tucker be weird about the fact that I decided to date this person over him,” Urbana asked.

Danny looked like he was going to answer her question confidently, but then he faltered, then he seriously considered what his answer should be.

“You know, he’s my best friend, and I want to think positively about him, but considering how much of a ruckus you put up about losing him as a friend, I think he might be a little upset at the idea of you dating someone else,” Danny said, “But I don’t think he’ll say anything or blame you in some way. The most I think he’ll do is probably rant at Sam and I about the situation for an hour or so.”

Urbana felt her stomach turn at the mental image, and she said, “He’s allowed to vent however he needs to, but what if I don’t tell him?”

“Well. I imagen that the longer you keep this away from him, the more it’ll probably bother him,” Danny said, “I suggest telling him as soon as you feel comfortable with it. Or you know, not at all. It isn’t his business anyways.”

Urbana whined pathetically.

“So,” Danny said with a mischievous smile, “Who are they?”

“Eh, I don’t think you’ll like that answer,” Urbana said, “They’re a part of the B.P.R.D. and they work with Hellboy.”

Danny gasped then asked, “Abe?”

“What? No! It’s Scarlet,” Urbana said as she pushed him back playfully.

“Who?”

“…Oh, that’s right. Your sister’s the one who knows Scarlet. Not you,” Urbana said.

“I would love to hear about this Scarlet person from you,” Danny said as he put his arm around her shoulders, then while they were walking to the mansion he said under his breath, “and don’t sweat it with what Tucker will think, if you do tell him, I’ve got your back and Sam will set him straight if he gets too mean.”

“Thanks,” then Urbana said, “Grandmama made confetti cake for Red and Raven’s birthday. We were about to dig in.”

“Yes!” Danny fist pumped excitedly.

Everyone filed into the mansion to finish celebrating Raven and Red’s birthday.

# # #

It was a warm May night out and Urbana was getting dressed for work, to be the Bouncer for the night at The Witching Hour. In the library, Abe and Blinky were catching up with each other. In the living room, Lydia and Wednesday, who was being her assistant, were taking family photos of Angela, Broadway, and their egg together. In the kitchen, Grandmama was getting dinner ready with Lurch and Liz helping her. Pugsley, Fester, and Gomez were wrestling with each other in the hallways. In the tearoom, Morticia and Cactus Steven were watching Thing and Gizmo play with each other. As Urbana walked outside to get to her car, Urbana found Hellboy sitting on the stoop smoking his cigars.

“Off to work,” He asked as he exhaled his smoke.

“It’ll be my first time being the Bouncer,” Urbana said.

“You’re a Bouncer now,” Hellboy asked, unbelieving.

“A part time Bouncer and a full time Entertainer,” she confirmed, “With all the training I’ve been getting from Gomez, Blinky, and Master Splinter, I thought I might as well use it for some money.”

“Well, be careful,” he said.

“I make no promises,” Urbana said as she was making her way to her car. Urbana then paused then said, “Hey, um, have you been told that I went to Hell?”

“Yes. Mother told me,” Hellboy said, then he asked softly, “Is something wrong?”

“No. It’s nothing like that,” Urbana said, then in a rush she said, “You have a half-sister named Charlie and she says hi and she wasn’t you to know that she hopes you keep doing good and keep being happy with your family here on the mortal plane.”

Hellboy’s face was blank while he was processing the information.

“Alright, this Bouncer’s got to bounce. Good night,” Urbana said as she rushed to her car. Then she drove away.

It was four in the morning when Urbana got home from work, with a black eye she felt proud of because she got it while in the process of defending a woman from a creep. As she walked in, she saw that the kitchen lights were on and she decided to go say goodnight to Broadway and Angela before she went to bed. Instead, she found Hellboy.

“Please tell me you weren’t up all night,” Urbana asked him.

“I’m just up early,” he said, then he saw her black eye and said, “I’ll get an ice pack for you.” Then he put his phone down and went to the fridge.

While Urbana was waiting for him to do that, she saw the game that he was playing on his phone fade out to show his lock screen photo to be a picture of everyone at the hospital when Morticia gave birth to the twins. Urbana smiled at the image.

“Here you go,” Hellboy said as he gave her the ice pack and she immediately applied it to her face.

“Thanks,” Urbana said.

“So, I have a blood related sister,” he asked.

“Yep,” she said, “Are you mad at me?”

“No,” He said, sounding offended that she would think that of him, then softly he said, “I just worry. It’s bad enough that I go through hellish situations, I hate to see people in my family go through it too.”

“Awe,” Urbana cooed.

They were silent for a moment, because Urbana could see that Hellboy had a question that he was hesitant to ask.

“You said her name was Charlie,” Hellboy asked.

“That’s right,” she confirmed.

Hellboy sat back down in the kitchen chair then asked, “What is she like?”

“Well, she’s a lot like you. Nice, sweet, caring, and she holds a lot of sadness in her heart,” Urbana said.

“Hmm,” He said.

“I’ll tell you more later thought,” Urbana said while talking through a yawn, “I’ve got some sleep to catch up on.”

“No. Of course. Go get your sleep,” Hellboy said, then added, “And don’t sleep with that ice pack on your face.”

While walking away she said, “I don’t think I could even if I tried.”

# # #

Urbana was laying on a beach towel in front of Steven’s home in Beach City, soaking up the summer sun with Lapis and Amethyst laying on either side of her, doing the same. Abe was exploring the ocean shore with Stevonnie. While Urbana was suggesting to Lapis that they do an art project together, Stevonnie and Abe came out of the water. Stevonnie was holding a cool looking rock, and Abe was holding a sheet of metal that Urbana’s never seen before.

“Cool find guys,” Urbana called to them.

“Is that apart of Peridot’s old ship,” Amethyst asked.

“I think so,” Stevonnie said.

“Does she want it back?” Abe asked.

“Naw, you can keep it,” Lapis said, “I know she won’t mind.”

“That’s good,” he said, “I thought I’d use the metal to replace the old metal bits on my equipment.”

The two of them sat down and got out some snacks from the cooler and passed them out. Only Lapis was the one who didn’t get anything to eat or drink. While they were eating and talking about themselves and relaxing, a buff, orange gem with green horns walked up to them. Urbana’s never seen her before and the mood, as she walked up to them, felt instantly dampened.

“Hello,” She said her voice gruff sounding but soft.

“Hi, Jasper,” Stevonnie said while Amethyst and Lapis avoided making eye contact with her.

Abe and Urbana gave each other worried looks. Urbana felt like she’s heard that name before somewhere, but she can’t remember where.

“Is something wrong?” Stevonnie asked.

“No. I, uh, um, came over to ask if I could, um, sit with you all,” Jasper asked with such hesitation that it was like she knew the answer before she even asked.

Stevonnie took a breath, then said, “Not right now.”

She then nodded, and without another word she started walking away.

Urbana felt compelled to go at least talk with her, so she got up and said, “I’m going to go get some fries. Abe, you’ll love them. They are amazing.” Then she ran off to catch up with Jasper.

“Hey. I’m going to go get food. What to help me out,” Urbana asked her.

Jasper glared at her and her timid nature that she projected in front of her friends was gone.

“I’m getting fries from Beach Citywalk Fries,” Urbana said ignoring her mood shift, “I’m going to be getting a lot and I’d like your help carrying them.”

Jasper said nothing but she seemed fine with helping as she was walking in the same direction as Urbana was going.

As they were waiting in line for their fries, Urbana talked Jasper’s ear off with the cartoons that she’s been watching like the remake of The Moomins. Jasper made no attempt to interact with the conversation nor did she give any indication that she was listening to Urbana at all. She only stood there with a scowl on her face as she waited in line for the fries with her.

After getting their fries, Urbana then asked, “So, how do you know Steven and the Crystal Gems?”

“The leader of the Crystal Gems, Rose Quartz, shattered My Diamond, Pink Diamond, and it sent me on a five thousand yearlong rage to shatter and maim all Crystal Gems, and eventually, while we came to check on the Cluster, we found Steven, and what was left of the Crystal Gems, and we captured them to take them to Homeworld, but then our ship crashed on the planet and I tried to fuse with Lapis to become stronger to take them down, but instead we ended up hurting each other at the bottom of the ocean for a year or two,” Jasper said.

Urbana blanked on that info dump she was exposed to, trying to digest what she was told. Then she said, “That’s awful… You didn’t have to tell me all that though. A lot of it seems painful to talk about.”

“That is true. But I find that people get upset when people hide truths like those from others, and in the end, it seems easier to have it all out there, so that the person I’m talking to knows what they’re getting into and won’t bother me again if they so choose,” Jasper said.

Urbana then said, “Well, you’re a lot braver than me, then.”

“That was a hint,” Jasper said, roughly, “for you to be scared of me so you’ll stop talking to me after this.”

Urbana chuckled, then said, “I’ve kissed the physical embodiment of fear. You telling me your life story isn’t going to do much.”

They were about to walk off the boardwalk when Jasper and Urbana heard Ronaldo calling for Urbana. Urbana let out an involuntary groan.

She handed Jasper her fries that she was holding, then said, “Please hold this. I need both my hands for what I’m about to do.”

Jasper took the little bags of fries wordlessly with an annoyed look on her face.

Ronaldo excitedly grabbed Urbana’s arm and was about to go into a spiel about Snake People, when Urbana punched the older man in the face, sending him flying to the ground on his back.

“I told you that the next time you touched me I would punch you,” Urbana told him with a growl while he was holding his face, “I’m not interested in your crazy conspiracy theories. Do I make myself clear?”

“Oh, come on, Urbana. Did you really have to hit me,” Ronaldo asked, while he held his bleeding nose.

“I. Warned. You. If you won’t take my warnings seriously, then don’t talk to me at all,” Urbana said, then added, “Now go clean yourself up and remember not to tilt your head back or you’ll drown in your own blood.”

Ronaldo got up and shuffled away. Then Urbana took the bags of fries away from Jasper, who had a surprised look on her face.

“Yah, sorry,” Urbana said, “Since he’s studying to be a reporter, we’re in a lot of the same buildings and classes, because of my English Major. He’s been driving me crazy with his conspiracy theories and he always tries to force me to stay and listen to him by holding on to me. I know he’s relatively harmless, but he just makes me so uncomfortable.”

Jasper said nothing while she still had that surprised look on her face.

Once everyone was within sight, they could see that Garnet had joined the group. Jasper kept her distance and Urbana stayed to grab the rest of the food from her.

“Hey, do you like to eat?” Urbana asked her.

“No,” she said, not gruffly but not softly.

Urbana then shrugged and said, “Then I’ll just give Garnet your bag of fries then.”

“Which one’s mine,” Jasper asked.

With a smile, Urbana held it out then Jasper snatched it away and walked away. Urbana tried her best not to laugh at Jasper’s actions. Then Urbana rejoined her group of friends.

“Are you okay,” Garnet asked as soon as Urbana sat down to pass out the fries.

“I’m fine,” she said, “but there was a fifty/fifty percent chance that you were going to get fries too, but I convinced Jasper to take her bag.” Urbana then took a moment to ask if Lapis wanted her fries before giving Stevonnie two bags of fries. Lapis didn’t want them.

With a small smile tugging at the corner of Garnet’s lips, she asked, “Now, how did you manage to convince her of that?”

“She doesn’t like a lot of Earth things, especially the food,” Amethyst said before stuffing the entire bag of fries into her mouth and swallowing it whole.

Urbana then explained to them that she enacted the sibling rivalry gene in Jasper. It was just something that she’s noticed happened between Raph and Leo, and Haley and Jake, and she was grasping for straws really.

“So yah,” Urbana said, “It was a bit of reverse psychology with a play on her competitive nature. It’s not often I get to do that sort of thing, so I thought it was kind of funny.”

“Well, then I’m glad the future I saw didn’t happen,” Garnet said as she stood up.

“I’m sorry what,” Abe asked, and Urbana echoed.

Before walking away, Garnet said, “I’ll leave you guys back to your fun. Have a nice day.”

“Did… Did Garnet predict a bad encounter for me with Jasper,” Urbana asked once she was gone.

“Maybe,” Stevonnie said.

Urbana got up and said, “I’m going to go for a swim now.”

“I’ll join you,” Abe said.

The five of them then continued with the rest of their day, enjoying the summer sun and the cold ocean. With Abe and Urbana hanging out with each other the most as she told him about her family like she said she would.

# # #

Urbana and Liz were sitting on the living room floor with Raven and Red. The two adult women were watching the babies help stabilize each other on their feet when either one of them got too wobbly. In the background, the news was playing, saying something about how the Foot Clan had now become the most prominent street gang in New York since the downfall of their rivals, the Huntsclan. They were also talking about strange vigilantes helping the police do what they can against the Foot Clan while remaining unknown to the public.

Raven wobbled over to Urbana and Red wobbled over to Liz. Both women caught each individual baby then turned them around so they could happily walk towards each other and hug each other.

“You know, sometimes I can’t help but think that all of this craziness is going to lead to the end of the world,” Urbana said.

“Don’t worry about it too much,” Liz said, “We’ve survived several world ending incidences, before. Whatever these next few years will throw at us, I’m sure we’ll survive that too.”

“Wow, you sound so numb by your job,” Urbana said, not at all comforted by her statement.

“You think so,” she asked.

“Yah, have you thought about quitting the B.P.R.D.,” Urbana asked.

Liz chuckled sadly, then said, “When have I not quit? Besides, where would I go? What would I do for a different job? What if I have an episode? No. It’s safer for everyone if I stay in the B.P.R.D.”

“You know,” Urbana said carefully, “It’s not good for you to think about yourself as an enemy. I think you have enough enemies as is, right?”

Liz sighed, then said, “Look. The fact of the matter is that I can’t control my fiery abilities very well and being alive for twenty-six years hasn’t exactly made me figure out how to control it any better than I did when I was a child. I’m essentially a walking health hazard. So, it’s a little hard for me not to think of myself as my worst enemy.”

“When do you think you’ll start believing people when they tell you that it’s not your fault that you were born the way that you are and when do you think you’ll start believing that your episodes aren’t your fault either,” Urbana asked her.

Liz didn’t say anything.

“I wish I could say something, that’d make you feel better about yourself and about the power that you hold inside you, but all I have is what I know from watching _Avatar: The Last Airbender_ and how they represent how fire can be dangerous but also beautiful and capable of providing and sustaining life and stuff like that,” Urbana said.

“I really should find time to watch that show,” Liz said with a chuckle, “You have such high praise for it.”

“It’s so good,” Urbana confirmed.

Red and Raven tumbled to their hands and knees and one of them started to smell. They checked which one needed their dipper changed and then took them to their room to change it.

# # #

Hellboy and Lurch were helping Urbana set up some extra chairs in the living room while Grandmama, Pugsley, and Wednesday were putting out trays of little sandwiches to be served with Morticia, Gomez, and Fester setting up the punch bowl and cups.

Urbana squealed excitedly, then said, “I’m so happy I’m finally doing this.”

“What exactly is this thing that you’re doing,” Danny asked as he walked in with his friends and big sister.

“I’ve made a self-help circle group thing,” Urbana said, “I know there’s a specific word for it, but I can’t remember it right now. Anyways, come, grab a bite, sit down. More people will be coming tonight.”

“Awe, Urbana,” Jazz said as she went to grab a drink, “I’m so proud of you. This will help so many people. I actually do this sort of thing back in Amity Park. Do you want some advice?”

“Nope. I’ll ask if I want it though,” Urbana told her.

“So what are we supposed to do,” Sam asked as she sat on the couch with Danny sitting next to her.

“Well, it’s a place so people can talk about their specific struggles, like being half human or dealing with things you can’t normally talk about with the average person,” Urbana said, “But it’s also a place for people to talk about their success in things that they haven’t been able to talk about with anyone because of the strange circumstances.”

“Everything is set,” Morticia said, then asked, “Do you kids know where my sister and Jack are?”

“They’re hanging out by the lake,” Sam answered.

“They’re talking to George and Linda with Angela and Broadway,” Tucker added.

“Then we’ll leave you be,” Gomez said. Then he grabbed his wife by her hip and said, “Does a late-night skinny dip sound fun to you, mi amor?”

“Oh, most certainly, mon cher,” Morticia said with a flirty wink.

“I’ll beat you two to the lake then,” Fester challenged before running off, with Gomez and Morticia following him.

Jazz sat down then said, “You know. I was going to go out there too, but now I think I’ll stay.”

“Me too, Kid,” Hellboy said.

Urbana couldn’t help but laugh at their discomfort.

“Will you help me clean the kitchen, Hellboy,” Grandmama asked her son.

“Yes, Mother,” he said as he left.

As Hellboy was leaving, Urbana saw Pugsley and Wednesday leaving and she asked, “Where are you guys going? Don’t you two want to join?”

“Naw, this seems boring,” Pugsley said.

“And I don’t feel like I have anything to say about myself,” Wednesday said.

“Lydia will be joining us,” Urbana told her.

That information made Wednesday freeze then she said as she turned back around, “Well, then I guess I’ll stay a little, until I know if Lydia wants this to be a by-her-self-thing, or if she wants this to be a couple-thing for us to do together.”

Wednesday found herself a seat while Pugsley went upstairs to play a board game with Lurch and Thing.

Pretty soon, people were showing up to the mansion. First it was Jim with Claire, Toby, and a blond jock looking kid named Steve Palchuk. Then Sabrina showed up in her best outfit that her Aunt Hilda made for her for the occasion; she was excited to be here since school and her after school activities keep her away from the mansion so much. Then Steven and Connie showed up, with Connie very excited to meet everyone since she’s always away at her college. Then Lydia showed up and immediately sat down beside Wednesday to talk with her while they were waiting for more people to appear. Then Leo, Raph, Don, and Mikey showed up; Urbana was expecting Master Splinter to come, but they said he didn’t feel like coming tonight. Then Jake, Rose, Spud, Trixie, and Melody showed up; Urbana was sad that Haley wasn’t coming to this and Jake explained that his little sister was in the middle of a Spelling Bee competition and she’ll be able to come over next time. Then Lily came in from the lake, slightly damp and looking a bit nervous. Finally, came Claw, the only member of the Mutant Clan that decided to come. The Manhattan Clan were the only people that didn’t come; apparently Jake and the turtle boys are taking turns rotating between leaving New York and staying to protect it.

Once everyone had their drinks and had a snack and were at their seats, Urbana stood up and said, “Thank you all for coming. This will be our first meeting with each other, and I appreciate you all being here. This gathering’s purpose is to be a support group for each other. Each of us are unique in our own ways, whether it be that we are half-human—”

—Danny, Steven, Jake, and Jim all waved a bit—

“— humans who have experienced the weirdness of the world—”

—Connie, Trixie, Melody, Rose, Spud, Claire, Toby, Steve, Sam, Tucker, and Jazz all waved—

“—people who aren’t even human—”

—Leo, Don, Raph, Mikey, and Lily waved—”

“—and everyone else in between—”

—Claw, Sabrina, Lydia, and Wednesday waved—

“—Now. I’d like to add that Claw here is non-verbal, but he is capable of answering yes or no questions with a nod or shake of his head and Lily here doesn’t leave her lake very often, so I want to remind you all to be courteous and considerate of their feelings especially. Okay?”

Everyone echoed Urbana’s okay.

Urbana then sat down in her chair and asked, “So, who wants to go first?”

Melody raised her hand.

“Go head,” Urbana said.

“Are there any ghosts present with us right now,” Melody asked.

Lydia answered, saying, “No. Beetlejuice invited Adam, Barbara, Draal, and Angor Rot over to his house in the Neitherworld for card games and dice.”

“Awe,” she sighed, disappointedly.

“Anyone else,” Urbana asked.

There was a moment’s hesitation then Trixie raised her hand.

“Alright, go ahead Trixie,” Urbana encouraged.

“What do I even say,” Trixie asked.

“Whatever you want that you feel comfortable saying,” Urbana said, “You can tell us how well you did on a test that you’re proud of or how frustrating it was to be late to school because a magic plant monster decided to block the road or something of the like.”

Trixie thought for a moment, then said, “My mom and I have been learning how to cook enchiladas from our new elderly neighbor. His food is amazing, and it’s been fun hanging out with my mom when she’s not doing her flight attendant job.”

“Anyone want to want to say something nice about that, or do you all have any comments?” Urbana asked the group.

“Do you think I could get the recipe,” Mikey asked.

“Sure,” Trixie said.

It took a while, but eventually, everyone was sharing their victories and/or hardships when it was their turn to speak and the rest of the group would react and give advice or condolences or ask for more information for later. The only thing Urbana had to do was make sure the speaker wasn’t taking too long so that other people could have their chance to talk as well.

Soon it was midnight, and it was time for everyone to head home and get some sleep. The only ones who were staying the night were Steven and Connie, Lydia, and Sabrina. They helped clean up with everyone else and in the end, Urbana felt happy and proud that she was able to bring together so many people to help each other out.

# # #

Urbana was in the kitchen with Grandmama, Hellboy, Gomez, and Morticia while looking over her savings account to see how much she has managed to save up for her final year in college. It wasn’t looking pretty. Even though her new job is better paying and she’s not paying for rent anymore and she doesn’t eat out that much, Urbana’s barely going to get enough money to pay off the first semester of her final year and that’s without buying any books, and without thinking about gas and car repairs, and not worrying about the following semester. Urbana pushed her laptop out of the way so she could smoosh her face into the kitchen table and groan.

“That bad, huh,” Hellboy asked before drinking some of his tea.

“Why don’t you ask your Father and Aunt to help you with the money,” Grandmama asked, “I’m sure they’ll jump at the chance to do it.”

Urbana sighed then said, “No. I can’t do that. I told Aunt Jane that I’d look for a therapist, but I haven’t exactly done that yet and when I do eventually do it, therapy is expensive. I don’t want to ask for any more money than what she’s already going to be giving me. And I absolutely cannot ask Dad for any financial assistance whatsoever. When I left, he was ranting and raving at me about how hard it is for young adults to pay off their college and he told me that if I didn’t graduate using my own money that he’d make me work at the salon or disown me or something along those line. I don’t remember all that well; I was walking away, and it’s been three years.”

Morticia and Gomez looked to each other. They wanted to offer their help, but they knew from experience that she wouldn’t be willing to accept it.

“I just need a second job,” Urbana said as she fully sat up and pulled her computer back towards her. “It’ll be tricky, trying to write my comic, working at the bar, and having another job, and also worrying about school, but if I don’t sleep for a whole year then I’m sure I can do it.”

Everyone looked at her with concern.

“That last part was supposed to be a joke,” Urbana said.

“Speaking of your comic, have you thought about publishing it,” Gomez asked.

“I mean, I have, but I don’t even know where to begin or where to get it published for physical copies, that is a writing class that I’m supposed to take during my final semester of college,” Urbana said, “And I’ve also thought about making merch, since I’ve been getting a lot of Patreon payers recently. But making merch takes money that I’m not so sure people are willing to buy for and I’ve got to save money for college.”

“Well, then, if you are willing to accept, we’re willing to invest in your product,” Morticia said.

“Are you sure that’s such a good idea,” Urbana asked her, “I don’t want to waste your money.”

“We invest in our local community all the time,” Grandmama said, “That’s why Westfield looks so much better than our neighboring towns. We help make sure that infrastructure is fixed in a timely manner. We help local businesses thrive if they’re hitting a rough patch like in 2008 and 2019 and 2034. We fund our local schools so that they have the best staff and facilities to thrive in. We also help fund local awareness parties about Black Lives Matter and Women Rights and LGBTQ Awareness and so on. Helping people with our almost infinite amount of money is important to us.”

“Besides,” Hellboy chimed in, “It’s not like helping you will make us lose all our money.”

“Okay. Okay. I’m convinced. I’m going to go to my room and make some drafts for the merch and I’ll gather all of my drawings so that I can put them in a portfolio for which ever publisher companies that we’ll be going to,” Urbana said as she closed her laptop and started to leave.

As Urbana was walking away Gomez and Morticia high-fived each other, excited to be a part of a new developing project. Peridot then called Urbana and asked if she wanted to see the strange energy fluctuation she discovered happening in Jasper, Nevada. Urbana told her that she was too busy and said that she heard about what happened in Jasper, Nevada. About how it was cleared out because of a meteor shower or something. Urbana wished her luck on her discoveries then hung up to work on her stuff.

# # #

Urbana walked out of Tina’s Salon with a freshly shaved head, with her cousin Beech. Beech was telling Urbana about the importance of Life and Death and how both are required to help bring meaning to a meaningless world. As they were walking together to get some coffee for Urbana, Beech was telling her about how there is no real destiny for living people and how important it is for the living to just enjoy the little things that you can enjoy as a living person, when a strange looking red car, following a kid on a blue motorcycle passed them.

“That car is weird,” Urbana said.

“That’s because it’s not a car,” Beech said.

“Alright, let’s follow it then,” Urbana said as she was already running after the two vehicles.

The strange red car continued to follow the kid on the blue motorcycle and eventually they stopped at the Wheelbarrel, a little diner that serves cheap breakfast and dinner options. Once the kid parked and was inside the diner, Urbana went up to the strange red car.

It was a lovely shade of bright red and it had a hood ornament of a pair of silver horns, so Urbana assumed it was a car from Texas. The car was also emitting a kind of sickly purple haze that didn’t look healthy.

“This is my first time seeing a ghost car,” Urbana said, “but you said it’s technically not a car?”

“Yah, only living things can be ghosts, and there aren’t a lot of living metal type people in this universe, this may be a Techorian,” Beech said.

When Beech said Techorian, it sounded like she was saying it in three different languages at the same time. Urbana assumed it was because she was only hearing what she was able to understand.

Urbana knocked on the hood of the car, “Excuse me. Can you understand me?”

The people passing by ignored her like she was a crazy person, but Urbana didn’t notice them.

“By the AllSpark, you _were_ talking about me,” the red car said.

Then the car parts shifted and scrunched up and then unfolded to reveal a giant red robot with horns. Urbana had to take a step back.

“How many dead cars are there then,” Urbana asked with a half-hearted chuckle.

“I’ve seen a few Vehicons who are wondering the Earth, not really caring about the war anymore now that they’re dead. They just haven’t joined the AllSpark yet,” the red car said.

“That doesn’t sound good,” Beech said, “They may actually be lost souls. What do you call the planet you’re from?”

“Cybertron,” he said.

“Ah. Good. I’ll head to HQ and tell the Cybertronian department about this,” Beech said, “I’ll see you around cousin.”

“Bye Beech,” Urbana said. Then the fishwoman was gone with a swirl of darkness.

“So, what’s your name,” Urbana asked him.

“I’m Cliffjumper. I have to say, it’s nice to finally have someone to talk to. I haven’t had a proper conversation with anyone in a long time,” he said.

“It’s nice to meet you Cliffjumper, I’m Urbana,” she said.

The blue motorcycle’s side mirror shifted so that Urbana was reflected into its tiny mirror.

“So why do you glow like that weird lady did? Sure, you’re not shining as brightly as she did, but it’s still there,” Cliffjumper said.

Urbana explained to him about her powers and what she is and what she’ll become and so on.

“Nice,” he said.

“How did you die and what’s with the purple haze, if you don’t mind me asking,” Urbana said.

Cliffjumper then explained how while on a routine hunt for Energon, he was overwhelmed and captured by the Decepticons and then a bot called Starscream killed him and then he told her about how the purple haze is Dark Energon that’s infecting his dead body and it is messing with his spark which is why he doesn’t look his best.

Then unprompted, he started telling Urbana about his partner Arcee, who he pointed out to her as the blue motorcycle that he was parked behind, and that she has a human friend that he’s fond of called Jack and he’s been keeping an eye on them and making sure nothing bad happens to Jack specifically, because he knows how heartbroken it would make his partner if he died somehow, especially after what happened to Tailgate and to himself.

Cliffjumper was then telling the story of how Jack managed to destroy a Decepticon’s ship, owned by an ex-con called Airachnid, when Jack came out of the Wheelbarrel, looking full but not all that happy. His blue jeans and gray shirt looked dirty, his black hair was disheveled like he hasn’t taken a shower in a while, and he overall looked really tired.

“Hey, Jack,” Urbana greeted the kid.

Jack instantly looked like his heart flew up into his throat as he looked at Urbana apprehensively.

“Woah, easy,” Urbana said, “I’m sorry I scared you. I’m Urbana.”

“How—how do you know my name?” Jack asked.

“I’ve been listening to Cliffjumper here just yack, yack, yacking my ears off with his stories about what you and Arcee have been doing,” Urbana told him.

Jack looked at Urbana suspiciously, “Cliffjumper’s dead.”

“I didn’t say he wasn’t,” Urbana said.

Jack just glared at her.

“I wish they could see me. This would make things a little bit easier,” Cliffjumper said.

“We can do that if you want,” Urbana told him.

“Do what?” Jack asked.

“Really?” Cliffjumper asked.

“Yah, but it’s creepy enough that I know this poor kid’s name and his friend’s name,” Urbana said, “I doubt I’ll be able to convince them to come with me to an abandoned park so that Arcee could talk with you for a few minutes.”

“I’ll do it,” the blue motorcycle said.

“But Arcee,” Jack said in a harsh whisper.

“Just follow her,” She harshly whispered back, “We’ll talk more when we’re more alone.”

Jack kicked up Arcee’s bike stand then the three of them followed Urbana to the abandoned park where the entrance to New Trollmarket was. Once they were there, the blue motorcycle shifted and scrunched up and then unfolded into a giant blue robot. Her left hand then shifted into a giant gun and she had it trained on Urbana.

“She’s really on edge,” Urbana stated to Cliffjumper.

“It probably has something to do with the fact that our base is destroyed, and Optimus Prime is most likely dead,” he said.

Urbana slapped his leg then said, “Why didn’t you tell me that first of all things. That’s horrible.”

“I was getting there,” he said.

“Okay, what do you know now,” Jack asked, exasperated and suspicious at the same time.

“I’ve just been informed that you and your friends lost your base and that Optimus Prime maybe dead. I hope that’s not the case,” Urbana told him.

“By the AllSpark, I really don’t like that you know all this,” Arcee said, “Just show me Cliffjumper and if this is some Decepticon trap, know that I will aim for you first.”

Urbana shrugged then said, “Okay. That’s fair. Give me a couple of seconds.”

Urbana then stood still and started doing her deep breathing and grounding motions, after a minute or two, Urbana managed to coax out a beach ball sized Spirit Ball from her chest.

Everyone was slack jawed and Arcee inadvertently lowered her gun hand.

“Is that your spark,” they all asked at the same time.

“I didn’t even know plain old humans could have one,” Cliffjumper said, “I thought it was only Sari who is like that.”

“Okay, Cliffjumper. Eat this,” Urbana said as she raised it up for him to grab.

Cliffjumper took a step back and looked extremely sick, “I’m not a Sparkeater!”

“Oh, for heaven’s sake, Cliffjumper. You’re not eating a spark. It’s just a bit of energy. Think of it like eating an energy bar or whatever you guys eat.”

He still looked unsure.

“Alright, come on. Lay your hand down so you can pick me up,” Urbana told him.

Jack and Arcee looked between Urbana and the empty space that she was talking to, waiting to see where this was going.

“I’m dead. I can’t pick you up,” he said.

“I promise, you can,” she told him, “Now come on.”

He laid his hand down and Urbana stepped up on it, making it look like to Jack and Arcee that she was just floating above the air a bit, then when Cliffjumper stood all the way up, she looked like she was flying in the air.

“Now, this thing will probably give you an energy boost of five minutes so that you can talk to your friend and her human friend. This isn’t a spark and you’re not going to turn into a monster or whatever you’re worried about. It’ll be fine,” Urbana told him, “Now open up.”

He opened his mouth with a hesitant awe-sound, and he swallowed it like a pill. Then a couple of seconds later, Cliffjumper appeared before Arcee and Jack’s eyes. They were stunned.

“I don’t think it worked,” Cliffjumper said.

Arcee went up to Cliffjumper and tried to touch his horns, but she fazed right through him.

“You have your horn back,” she said as she took her hand back.

“Yah. As a spirit, I never lost it,” he said as he rubbed the back of his head.

The motion made Urbana lose her footing on his other hand.

“Hey! At least let me down first,” Urbana told him.

“Oops. Sorry,” He said as he immediately let her down.

Urbana went over to talk with Jack while Arcee and Cliffjumper were having their conversation.

“When’s the last time you’ve had a proper sleep and shower,” Urbana asked the teenager.

“A few days. We’re trying to get back to Nevada,” he said.

“That’s a long ways away,” Urbana told him, “You should stay at my house for the night. Get yourself a shower and some proper sleep. Or at least, enough sleep that you can get when your mind isn’t worrying about the people you care about and whatever else is troubling your mind.”

“I don’t know. Arcee’s been in her vehicle mode a lot, and I don’t want her having to stay in that mode too much,” Jack said.

“Relax. She won’t have to hid herself like she does with other people. The family I live with is a lot like me,” Urbana said.

“Able to bring back the dead,” he asked.

“I didn’t bring back the dead,” Urbana clarified, “Cliffjumper is still very much dead. I just helped give him the energy to allow you guys to see him. Any minute now, he’ll disappear from your sight, but he’ll very much still be there in front of you. I mean, until he crosses over.”

“So a ghost?” Jack said.

“Precisely.”

“Oh, god. This means the afterlife is real,” he said.

“Shh. Shh,” Urbana soothed, “Don’t think about it too much. You’re not dead yet, so don’t think about it.”

While Jack was having that mental crisis, Cliffjumper finally faded from sight and Arcee asked, “Is he gone?”

“No. You just can’t see him anymore,” Urbana said, “He’s more or less decided to be your guy’s guardian, making sure you and especially Jack, stays safe… Considering your bad luck with partners.”

She scoffed but she had a sad, melancholy smile on her face.

“She’s offered us a place to live at for the night,” Jack said, “She said they’re use to all this. What do you think?”

“That’s good. It’ll give you a place to rest a bit, but we won’t stay the night,” Arcee said, “We need to find the New York Base and tell Rodimus Prime about what’s happened to us. They already know we can’t break radio silence, so Rodimus and his team must be itching to know what going on with us.”

“Sounds reasonable,” Urbana said, “Follow me you three.”

Urbana led the three of them to the mansion and Urbana introduced them to the Addams family. Grandmama, Morticia, Gomez, and Fester all immediately started fawning over Jack. Giving him clothes to wear while Lurch threw his dirty clothes in the washing machine, showing him his room that he can take an hour or so long nap in, and Grandmama started making lunches for Jack to take on the road with him.

“They didn’t even flinch at the sight of me,” Arcee commented to Urbana.

Urbana shrugged, then said, “It’s a strange world and they relish in that strangeness. What do you eat, by the way? Maybe we can get you something.”

“I’m fine. I eat Energon, and I’m sure that you and this family don’t have it or an Energon refinery,” Arcee said.

“What even is Energon,” Urbana asked.

Arcee made a hologram picture appear over her right wrist and it showed a blue crystal that Urbana had seen several times before.

“I know where a whole butt load of that stuff is,” Urbana told her.

“You do!? That would be amazing if you could tell us where it is,” Arcee said.

“Well, let me ask this first, do you guys, with all of your advanced technology, have mind reading tools or something of the like,” Urbana asked her.

“We do,” she said.

“Then until you guys have a safe spot, I can’t in good conscious tell you anything about where I know the location of the Energon is,” Urbana said.

Arcee nodded in agreement. Then she said, “If we manage to find the New York Base, I’ll send someone over here so you can tell them instead.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Urbana said as she gave Arcee a thumbs up. Then she added, “Okay. Now it’s time for me to finally help your other friend.”

Urbana then walked up to Cliffjumper who was sitting next to the tree line of the family’s front lawn.

“You’re talking about Cliff, right. You already let me see him, what else are you going to do,” Arcee asked as she watch Urbana walk up to an empty spot on the lawn.

“I’m going to cleanse him of his Dark Energon,” Urbana said matter-a-fact-ly, “That gunk is damaging his spirit and he’ll feel a lot more energized when it’s out of him.”

Arcee immediately picked Urbana up by grabbing her around her waist.

“Don’t,” Arcee said, “I’ve seen what is does to humans.”

“Yah, it’s not pretty,” Cliffjumper agreed, “You don’t need to help me anymore than what you already have.”

“Listen, it’s always better to get hard things out of the way as soon as possible,” Urbana said as she was still being held in Arcee’s metal hand, “I’m worried that if that stuff is still in him, he may not be able to join the AllSpark that you guys speak of. Now put me down so I can do my job.”

Arcee did as she was told.

“Look, you both look apprehensive about this, and I understand, but this isn’t my first rodeo,” Urbana said.

What Urbana didn’t mention was that this will be her second time doing a Spirit Cleansing.

“What’s a rodeo,” Cliffjumper asked.

“That’s not a question I’m willing to answer right now,” Urbana said, “Just hand me your hand so I can get you back into tiptop shape.”

Cliffjumper extended his hand over to her, and she put both of her hands around his pointer finger, the digit was large enough that it would take four of Urbana’s hands to span the width of his pointer finger. Using her energy, Urbana reached deep down inside of Cliffjumper and found the infected parts of him. She gathered those infected parts of him and stored them inside herself. As she was doing this, Arcee could see a golden outline of Cliffjumper and it made her miss him and Talegate even more.

Soon, Cliffjumper wasn’t fuming a purple haze anymore and he felt like he could take on an armada if he wanted to. Then Urbana let go of him, having found every drop of Dark Energon that was hurting his ghosts, but as soon as she let go of him, she immediately felt sick. Urbana walked a few feet away from Arcee and Cliffjumper, then instantly threw up purple gunk into the ground.

When she finished throwing up, she said to Arcee, “Hey, I think I’m going to be doing this for a while, will you call someone over.”

Urbana started throwing up purple gunk again, while Arcee went over to the mansion and knocked on the front doors vigorously. Grandmama opened the door, then she saw that Arcee was pointing at the throwing up Urbana, and at once ran back to the kitchen to grab a waste basket, gave it to Urbana, then guided her back inside.

“Thank you, I’ll take it from here. You go relax,” Grandmama told Arcee as they passed her.

About thirty minutes later, Hellboy, Wednesday, and Pugsley got back from the beach, and Urbana managed to stop throwing up the purple gunk. Sure, it felt like her diaphragm was continuously punching her in the abdomen, but she was done throwing up. Grandmama, made sure that she nibbled on some bread and drank warm salt water and Urbana was starting to feel better again if not a bit lightheaded.

“I may have bitten off more than I could chew,” Urbana said.

“What did you do,” Hellboy asked.

Urbana explained and once she was finished, Wednesday and Pugsley immediately went to the blue motorcycle that they saw outside so that they could introduce themselves to the cool robot lady.

Once Jack had showered and had managed to rest in bed for two hours, the Addams family, the Fenton family, and Urbana wished him luck on his journey. Urbana also made sure that before he left that he had her phone number to call her with when it was safe for him to be able to.


	35. June-ing Around

It was a warm June night, and everyone had gathered around in Broadway and Angela’s room to watch their egg hatch. Urbana was watching the egg hatch through the cracks of her fingers.

“This is such an exciting summer,” Maddie said as she and Jack watched the baby hatch with studious eyes, “It kind of makes me wish we were Cryptozoologists.”

“Come on baby. Push. You got it. Push,” Broadway encouraged.

Angela was sitting on the other side of their egg with a tub of warm water and a few rags. To everyone she said, “Thank you all for being here. It’s important to us that the baby be surrounded by their clan members and since they aren’t here yet, you are all a good substitute.”

The egg crumbled more into itself and a bloody little beak started poking out. Urbana had to look away. She looked at her phone to see that Elisa had texted her saying that they were halfway there. Urban informed the group.

“It’ll be nice to finally meet your Clan,” Jack said, “Your stories about them are amazing.”

“Have you decided on what you are going to name them,” Jazz asked.

“I like the name, Hazel for a girl and Birch for a boy,” Angela said.

“It’ll only be a place name for them though,” Broadway said, “If they decide that they don’t like their name, I want them to feel free to change it however they like.”

The egg then crumbled all the way in half and out stumbled the baby gargoyle. Angela moved in and picked them up and started washing them.

“It’s a girl,” Angela announced.

The room was filled with clapping and Urbana texted Elisa to tell her the baby’s a girl. As soon as the baby girl was cleaned, Angela started breast feeding her. Sam, Tucker, Danny, Pugsley, Wednesday, Fester, and Lurch, left the gargoyle’s room to do whatever they were wanting to do while Urbana, Jazz, Jack, Maddy, Grandmama, Morticia, and Gomez stayed to talk.

“Do you guys have any special customs that deal with the eggshell,” Urbana asked, wanting to use it for an art project.

“No,” Broadway said, “I do remember that the villagers of Wyvern Castle, would take our discarded eggshells, grind them up, then use them as fertilizer. They said it always made their crops grow well.”

“Would you mind if we did that then,” Morticia asked for her Grandmother and for herself.

“I don’t mind,” Angela said, and Broadway agreed.

Grandmama started gathering the still wet eggshell pieces while Broadway was trying to help Angela dress their daughter, now that Hazel was done breastfeeding. Hazel had her father’s teal skin tone and his fin-like ears, while she had her mother’s deep black hair and long slender arms and legs and wings. Urbana though that their daughter will become a quick flyer.

It wasn’t long before the Manhattan Clan got to the mansion and everyone scattered to leave the family to celebrate their newest member.

# # #

It was Pugsley’s fourteenth birthday and Urbana was driving him in the gyres to the turtle boy’s home. It was Pugsley’s specific request to hang out with Don, Mikey, Raph, and Leo on his birthday, to try and do something different. Urbana parked the gyres behind the turtle boy’s gyres in the abandoned subway station and Pugsley jumped out of it excitedly and yelled, “Hey, guys! We brought cake and pizza!”

“Oh, yah!” Urbana heard Mikey cheer from deep within the crashed train car. Mikey then ran out of the crashed train car to take the cake and pizza from Urbana and Pugsley’s grasp.

Leo and Raph quit sparing with each other to come over and help, with Raph complementing Urbana on her new shaved head look. Then Don came out from the upstairs lab to see what all the commotion was going on, to then come down and join them.

“This is going to be a fun day, guys,” Pugsley said, “I brought board games, and a piñata, and I have fun drinks, and scary movies and it’ll all be really fun.”

“Cool,” Leo said.

Mikey said nothing as he had his mouth full of a pepperoni pizza slice, but he was nodding his head along.

“I haven’t seen this game in a while,” Raph said as he picked out the Rock'em Sock'em Robots board game from the back of Urbana’s gyres.

“Will you be joining us,” Don asked Urbana.

“No. I’ll be staying for a while, but I won’t be joining you,” she said, “I’m going to be playing shogi against Master Splinter for a while.”

“He’s in is room meditating,” Leo said, pointing Urbana in the right direction.

While walking in the direction that Leo was pointing her towards, Urbana shouted, “Alright Rat Daddy, time for a shogi showdown!”

Mikey choked on his pizza. Leo’s mind seemed to shatter like glass. Don hunched over like he was having a heart attack. Raph was slack jawed.

Urbana paused at the sound of Mikey choking on his pizza and Urbana went up to him and said, “Are you okay? Do you need to be heimlich-ed? Oh God. How do you even heimlich a turtle? I hope my arms are long enough for that.”

Mikey shook his head. Then after a couple of seconds he said through his coughing, “What did you call our Dad?”

“What?” Urbana asked, “Rat Daddy?”

“Ah, no!” Raph yelled, as he could feel his skin crawling, “Don’t say it again.”

A mischievous, smile spread across Urbana’s face, “I don’t understand. What’s wrong with saying Rat Daddy?”

“Stop saying that,” Don said, “It’s weird.”

Pugsley didn’t understand what was making his friends so uncomfortable at the phrase, Rat Daddy, it sounded more fun to say than anything, but he kept quiet.

“What? You mean, Rat Daddy?” Urbana asked again.

Leo then covered Urbana’s smiling mouth and she let out a playful giggle as he said, “Please stop.”

Urbana removed his hand then said, “Okay. Okay. I’ll go now. You five have fun.”

Urbana found Master Splinter’s room and they set up a game of shogi with Ruth, the resident ghost floating above them to watch. As they played their games, the boys outside of Master Splinter’s room would switch between being really loud to regular noisy. As they played, Urbana and Master Splinter would talk about training, then the current affairs in New York, then what’s going on in their family lives and so on. When the boys weren’t being super loud, one of the turtle boys would come in and ask Urbana questions. Don came in once to ask if she would like to see what he was working on in his lab. Leo came in once to ask if she would like to see how well his sword technique has gotten. Raph came in once to ask if she would arm wrestle him. Then Mikey came in once to ask if she’d like to see his skateboarding moves. To all of them Urbana said, “Not now but after this game I will.”

As Mikey left, Splinter smiled, then said, “My sons seem to have taken a shine to you.”

He moved a shogi piece.

Urbana only shrugged at that statement, then said, “I don’t know how much longer that’ll last now that I know their weakness.”

She moved a shogi piece.

“And what weakness would that be,” Splinter asked.

He moved a shogi piece.

“They don’t like it when I call you Rat Daddy,” She said with a mischievous smile.

Master Splinter belly laughed at that, then he said, “Well. I’ll tell you that I don’t mind that. It makes me feel young again.”

Urbana moved a shogi piece then said, “Tsumi.”

Master Splinter did a double take, then said, “Dōshite kon'nafūni watashi o odoroka se tsudzukeru no! Kachi ni chikakatta!”

“I didn’t really understand any of what you just said, but you sound impressed and surprised, so I’ll just take what you said as a complement,” Urbana said, then she asked, “Do you want to go back over how I got you this time?”

“Yes, please,” Master Splinter said.

After she showed him where he went wrong, Master Splinter sat up then said, “I’m going to make myself some tea.”

“I’d like a cup too, please,” Urbana said as she followed him out of his room.

The two of them exited his room to see that the living space had turned into a real mess. Unwrapped and wrapped candies scattered across the floor condensed mostly by the tree above the broken piñata, all the board games that they brought were opened and sprawled out, there were several empty plastic cups and disposable plates laying around with pits of juice and frosting and/or pizza grease on them. Near the tv area, the five of them were playing twister together.

“How can five boys make such a mess in only three hours,” Urbana stated.

“I wonder that myself, sometimes,” Master Splinter said as he was unphased by the sight, only heading straight for the kitchen.

Urbana went over to the tv area and sat next to Leo who was holding the spin board for Twister.

“Go Pugsley,” Urbana cheered, “Tickle them. Try to knock them over.”

“Their tickle spots are covered by shells,” Pugsley said from the bottom of the pile.

“Yours isn’t though,” Mikey said as he started to tickle Pugsley’s left armpit with his toes.

As Leo began to spin the Twister dial, the four of them collapse in on themselves.

“Welp, that’s game,” Leo said as he tossed aside the Twister dial.

Master Splinter came over with a cup of tea for Urbana.

“Urbana will you stay to watch my favorite horror movie with me,” Pugsley asked.

“Isn’t your favorite horror movie _The Ritual_,” Urbana asked.

He nodded vigorously.

Urbana sucked in air between her teeth, then said, “I don’t know. I have to drive the gyres through, dark creepy tunnels and walk through an abandoned park to walk to my car alone to then drive home alone.”

“Please! Please, please, please, please, pleeeeeeeease,” Pugsley begged from the bottom of the dog pile.

Urbana took a sip of her tea, then said, “Alright. Fine.”

While Pugsley was cheering and the dog pile dispersed, Raph said, “But first we have to arm wrestle like you promised.”

“Then to see my skateboarding skills,” Mikey added.

“I have to show her my sword techniques though,” Leo said, “The three of us _are_ sword buddies.” He gestured to Pugsley, Urbana, and himself.

“I want her to see the tech that I’ve been developing and upgrading,” Don said.

“Guys. Relax. It’s the weekend so I have the night off to stay and chat with all of you,” Urbana reassured them, then to Raph she said in a playfully gruff voice, “So are you ready go little man!”

“Yah!” he said just a gruffly.

Urbana spent the day hanging out with Pugsley, the turtles, and Master Splinter with Ruth mostly staying in her tree to chill. She let the turtle boys impress her with their different interests and played games with all five of them, and they also watched her, and Master Splinter do a rematch in shogi again, where again she won against him. The final bit that was left for her to do was to just watch Pugsley’s favorite movie with them, to which she watched between her fingers half the time and not being able to look at it the other half of the time. When the movie was over, Urbana was pumped with adrenaline that she didn’t know how to deal with.

“Welp. Time for me to go and let you have your slumber party,” Urbana said to Pugsley, “But I should stay long enough to at least help clean up.”

“I would appreciate that,” Master Splinter said as he got out of his lounge chair, “I will be heading for bed now. If you go out tonight, remember to leave me a note.”

“Yes, Sensei,” the turtle boys all said at the same time.

After helping to clean up, Leo asked if Urbana wanted to go roof hopping with them.

Urbana looked to Pugsley, who was nodding his head strongly. She still had adrenaline pumping through her veins and if Pugsley still wanted to hang out with her longer, then she wasn’t going to say no. Maybe she’ll be able to shake off her heebie-jeebies with some fresh air and running. She just made sure that the note was written, and that she had her shoulder bag on her, maybe she’ll buy everyone a drink or something before she officially leaves.

The nighttime in New York was almost just as bright as it is during the day, only there were more dramatic shadows to hide in as the turtle boys, Pugsley, and Urbana leaped from building top to building top. Urbana made sure to keep an eye on Pugsley the most as he doesn’t practice this sort of thing all that often, but Urbana saw his grand leaps and how good his tumbling was and seeing his good eye for where to jump and when, so she didn’t worry as much. It was nice to feel the breeze against her face, and that feeling of leaping to the next roof top like she was flying did make her feel better about having watched that scary movie.

They were about to jump over an alleyway but then Leo stopped them and pointed down. A group of a dozen Foot Ninjas were meticulously and quickly robing a tech store.

“It’s another Xanatos Tech store,” Don stated.

“Come on,” Leo said, “Let’s stop them before they get away.”

The four of them leaped down to start a fight with the Foot, but when Urbana went to tell Pugsley to stay on the roof top with her, the boy had already followed the turtle boys and had stolen one of Leo’s swords. Urbana grabbed her head in a panic as she felt her heart fly up into her throat. Urbana quickly dug through her shoulder bag and pulled out the yokai mask that looks like Aku’s face from Samurai Jack, that Grandmama said she could have, then she put it on. Then brandishing her heavy shoulder bag like a weapon, Urbana went into the fray of the fight.

As Pugsley was fending off one Foot ninja with Leo’s sword, another Foot ninja was sneaking up behind the boy to stab him with a kunai. Urbana immediately barreled into the Foot ninja, knocking the assailant back, and before they could make any distance between themselves and her, Urbana grabbed a hold of their waist, then threw them at the ninja that Pugsley was fighting, knocking both assailants down to the ground, dazing them.

“Thank you,” he said cheerfully, then he went over to help fight another Foot ninja.

Urbana growled and went in after him, but before that, Urbana kicked the two dazed ninjas’ in the face to make sure that they were definitely passed out.

Urbana then saw that a Foot ninja was already trying to get Pugsley in the back again using their ninjatō sword. Urbana ran over to grab the Foot ninja around the waist to suplex them, but they slipped out of her grasp and tried to slash down at her. Urbana blocked it using her shoulder bag, the blade mere inches from her face. Urbana then kicked the Foot ninja in the stomach sending them flying back and they lost their grip on their ninjatō sword.

Urbana then picked them up and told Pugsley to duck, as she threw the ninja, Pugsley curled into a ball and covered his head as the ninja that Urbana threw flew over him and slammed into the ninja that Pugsley was fighting, dazing both ninjas. The boy stood up and gave Urbana a smile and a thumbs up. Then as his face started to shift to worry, Urbana knew that she was under attack from behind. Urbana dropped quickly to the ground, dodging a kusarigama to the back of the head, then Urbana pushed her legs between their legs and managed to knock them down to the ground. Then in a fluid motion, Urbana turned 360 degrees and brought her leg down heavy to get the ninja in the face, but they managed to block her kick at the last second using their weapon. They then tried to cut her foot off by the ankle using their kusarigama, but she moved her leg out of danger before that could happen.

In the background, as Urbana was fighting, she could hear Pugsley singing the _Pirates of the Caribbean _theme song, and it was getting on Urbana’s nerves. The Foot ninja took her moment of annoyed distraction to knock her off her feet. Urbana fell to her back and the Foot ninja tried to jump to get on top of her, but she caught the Foot ninja in the chest with her feet, then pushed them up and over her, managing to knock a Foot ninja over that Don was fighting, with them.

“Yah, go Urbana,” Pugsley said, “and go you guys too!”

As Pugsley was cheering them on, another Foot ninja got behind him and was about to strangle him using piano wire, when Raph did a flying kick at them, sending them to the ground with a smack. Pugsley didn’t even notice as he charged forward to help Mikey out. Urbana just wanted the fight to end as quickly as possible, so she did her best with the turtle boys to knock the Foot ninjas out or send them running. Even using her intimidation tactic of barely missing them with a kick, only for the concrete that she did hit, to crack from the impact. Though, she was only able to do that intimidation tactic once, she could tell that it shook the Foot ninjas to their core.

Finally, the fight was over. The turtle boys tied up the unconscious Foot ninjas then called the police, then the five of them left the crime scene. Once they were five blocks away, they all rested on top of a particularly dark roof top. The whole time, Urbana hadn’t removed her mask or spoken to anyone. Pugsley on the other hand was pumped and full of energy and was gushing about who awesome they all were. The turtle boys would have joined in on Pugsley’s celebration, if it wasn’t for the fact that they could sense Urbana’s angry parent energy and they were all nervously quiet.

“Pugsley. Ernesto. Addams.” Urbana said, trying her best to not shout despite her anger, “What in God’s name were you thinking?”

The turtle boys backed away from Pugsley to give the two of them some space.

“Can you not hear my complements from under the mask,” Pugsley jested, not exactly understanding the situation.

Urbana lifted her mask off from her face and the look she was making seemed scarier to Pugsley than the mask. Pugsley didn’t understand why she was angry at him.

“What did I do,” He asked, his voice shrill from being upset that she was angry at him and for really not understanding what was going on.

“Do you _have_ any idea how many times you almost died while brashly fighting those highly skilled, highly dangerous ninjas,” Urbana asked, then answered her own question, “Seven. Seven times, young man.”

He didn’t know, but he said, “It was fine. You guys all had my back.”

“The point is that you weren’t and aren’t thinking about what if we weren’t fast enough to have your back,” Urbana said, “What you did was stupid and irresponsible, and you could have died.”

“But I didn’t,” Pugsley said, thinking that Urbana was making a big deal out of what didn’t happen.

Urbana felt close to bursting with anger, so she quickly turned her back on Pugsley to take a few deep breathes and to take a little time to put away her mask, then turning back around she said, “You’re coming back home with me. You’re not having that slumber party anymore.”

“Mom and Dad wouldn’t have gotten upset about this,” Pugsley yelled at her, “You’re being paranoid.”

Urbana gave him a steely gaze that made Pugsley look down at the ground as Urbana said, “We are going home. We can talk to Morticia and Gomez about this and if what you say is true you can have your slumber party tomorrow.”

Pugsley crossed his arms and scowled at the ground, but he didn’t protest. Mikey and Raph tried to protest for Pugsley in his stead, but one glare from Urbana shut them down. Once they were at the lair and Pugsley was in the gyres, Urbana gave the boys a quick apology, and told them that if Pugsley doesn’t come over, she will come back to pick up the boardgames and movies tomorrow. With that out of the way, she drove them back home.

It wasn’t too late out despite being dark, so Morticia and Gomez were still up, playing a game of chess with each other in the tearoom.

“Oh, Pugsley? What are you doing back?” Morticia asked, seeing her son first.

Pugsley then went into a spiel about how he was forcefully taken away from his friends just because he fought against some ninjas to help out. How it was unfair that Urbana was acting overprotective over him despite being the same age as the turtle boys who fight like that almost all the time. He exclaimed how fine he was and how unworried he was and how unworried they would be if they were there in Urbana’s place. He finished by saying that he wanted them to tell Urbana that she was being controlling.

Gomez and Morticia nodded their head at their son then they turned to Urbana and indicated for her to tell her side of the story.

Urbana then told them about how Pugsley rashly jumped into the fray of a battle using a sword he’s never practiced with. She told them how he was almost stabbed, strangled, slashed, strangled, stabbed, slashed and stabbed again before they took out the Foot ninjas. She told them how Pugsley wasn’t paying attention to the fight around him and how his face wasn’t covered so the Foot know what his face looks like, and they know Urbana’s name since he kept shouting it, explaining the dangers of those choices and actions and the danger it put the Addams family in, in the future.

The more Urbana explained, the more Pugsley realized that he did mess up.

“I see,” Gomez said, then to Pugsley he said, “My boy, I’m disappointed. If you wanted to join fights like this, you have to train more than every other week. You’ve got to train everyday like Urbana or train every other day like your sister.”

“Okay,” he mumbled.

“You’re grounded for the rest of the month,” Morticia said, “You are only to leave your room when it’s time for family meals.”

Pugsley groaned, then mumbled, “Okay.”

Once Pugsley left, Morticia said to Urbana, “Thank you for looking out for our son. Sometimes his excitement can exceed his rational thinking.”

“I was so scared and worried about him,” Urbana admitted to them, dropping the anger she had.

Gomez and Morticia nodded their heads in understanding.

*Translation - How do you keep surprising me like this! I was so close to winning!

# # #

It was another successful group meeting that they had in the living room. With everyone gone, Urbana was cleaning up with Danny, Sam, and Tucker.

In the middle of cleaning up, Tucker said, “I have an announcement.”

“You’re finally using your gym membership that you’re paying for,” Sam asked, with a teasing smile.

“Shut up,” he said deadpanned, then he brightened and said, “I bought us four tickets to see a live concert of Mystery Skulls in New York.”

“That’s so exciting,” Urbana said, “but when is it? I may not be able to go.”

“Don’t worry,” he said, “I got tickets that are accommodating for your work time. The concert is next month.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful,” Urbana said.

“It’s been a while since the four of us has done anything together,” Danny said, “Even if I’m not a fan of the music it’ll be nice to go with you three.”

“Why don’t we all do something together tomorrow then,” Sam said, “Steven said that he’d like to give me a tour of Little Homeworld. Maybe he’d give you guys a tour with me.”

Tucker informed Sam that he was also given an invitation to tour Little Homeworld while Danny and Urbana said that they’ve already seen it.

“I think it’s a great idea, regardless,” Urbana told Sam then added, “Let’s go over there tomorrow.”

The next day, the four of them were at Little Homeworld while wearing their beach attire, wanting to go swimming after Steven gives them the tour.

“Thanks for coming over guys,” Steven said, “I have some new things to show you since last Danny and Urbana were here.”

“Show it off! Show it off!” Urbana started to chant, with Danny and Tucker joining in with her.

“Alright, already, you three,” Sam chided them with a smile, “Let the man do his thing.”

“Thank you, Sam,” Steven said, then turning around he started to lead by saying, “This way.”

Steven showed them the schoolhouse which was a medium sized building with artistically carved pillars holding up the roof and the underside of it was painted in constellations that the four of them weren’t familiar with. Steven explained that the constellations on the ceiling were what the night sky looks like from Homeworld, the home planet of the Gems. He also said that Bismuth made this specifically for the humans that have joined the school and Lapis painted the ceiling.

Steven then took them to the town center, it had a large gold star in the center, and told them that this was where Bismuth and Pearl got married and where Sapphire and Ruby had their wedding vows renewed. It made Urbana think about how she hasn’t told Tucker about her relationship with Scarlet yet, and she felt a twinge of guilt. Steven also introduced them to a few of his music students that him and his father have been teaching. They were all Gems except for one human.

Steven then took them to look at the new mess hall that was built by the community and directed by Bismuth. Steven told them that a lot of Gems were becoming interested in how humans make their food and so they built this place to accommodate such teaching. Steven also said that it was free to eat at the mess hall. As they entered the mess hall to eat, Urbana took Tucker to the side, feeling a little braver than usual.

“What’s up,” he asked.

Urbana took a deep calming breath, then said, “I’m dating someone.”

Tucker was silent for a moment. Then said, “Okay. Cool. How long have you been dating this someone?”

“Their name’s Scarlet, and we’ve been long distance dating for almost three months now or something along those lines. Scarlet would remember better if you asked them,” Urbana said.

“I see,” Tucker said as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Are you okay,” Urbana asked then clarified, “About me dating someone I mean.”

“Hey, it’s none of my business who you do or don’t date,” Tucker said nonchalantly, but then he sighed and said, “But I guess I do feel like I’m not good enough for you…”

“Well, I’m dating Scarlet mainly to experiment with new life stuff since I’ve never done any experimental dating in high school or grade school, and I’m dating Scarlet specifically because I know them really well and I feel comfortable enough with them to try being in a “romantic” relationship with them,” Urbana said, “If I had known you for seven more years, I think I would have been more open to the idea of dating you.”

Tucker gently face palmed himself, then said, “So, not only did I upset you, but I also managed to make you feel super uncomfortable around me?”

“I mean, yah, but water under the bridge,” Urbana said.

He put his hands on his hips and with a small smile on his face, he said, “You know, when I finally get a girlfriend, I think it’ll be fun to have a couple’s date night with you, Scarlet, Sam, and Danny. We could all go roller skating or something.”

“That sounds lovely. I look forward to that day,” Urbana told him.

The two of them rejoined the group and shared a meal together. Steven showed them the rest of Little Homeworld and then they all went swimming. Overall, they had a nice late afternoon day together.

# # #

Urbana had finished doing her entertainment quota at The Witching Hour bar for the night and was preparing to drive back home when she saw something strange in the corner of her eye. A small streak of light whizzed by, sparkling like golden glitter, and bigger than a firefly’s light. Then she saw a darkness, that was vaguely horse shaped. Urbana locked her car and went to check it out.

Urbana did her best to follow the two figures as best as she could, but eventually she found them both. The darkness had cornered the small light. Within the light, it looked like a little hummingbird and the dark figure, looked like a black sandy horse. Urbana ran and got between the two of them.

“Hey. Woah now. Easy,” Urbana said to sandy black horse, “Easy.”

The horse reared up on her hide legs and whinnied as she kicked her front legs forward. Since Urbana knew it wasn’t a real horse, she didn’t move away from its kicks. As the kicks landed, horrible images of her greatest fears became prominent in her mind. Her body, strapped to a science table as people dissect her alive, trying to figure out how she’s able to see the dead. The family and friends that she’s managed to curate abandoning her because they don’t like who she is anymore. Seeing her loved ones dead and being unable to see their ghosts anymore. Seeing large, blood red spiders with poison dripping from their fangs crawling all over her body.

When Urbana came too, she saw that the sandy black horse was about to eat the glowing hummingbird, Urbana immediately got between them again and placed her hands on the horse’s face. Again, the frightening images started spinning in her head, but she was still present. She soothingly talked to the agitated sandy black horse all the while trying to sooth herself of the fears that were circulating in her mind as she continued to touch the horse.

“Hey, you silly billy. You beautiful monstrosity. You majestic creature. Aren’t you supposed to be in someone’s nightmares right now?” Urbana asked it.

The sandy black horse seemed to calm down, but it was still looking at the glowing hummingbird intently.

“Don’t you have some children to scare into appreciating the kind, loving family they got, or an artist who needs the inspiration to create something horrifying and dark? Don’t you have some nightmares to make people understand that their fear will only destroy them or to inspire them into taking action with their lives since you’ve shown them what the worst possible outcome could really be?” Urbana asked them.

As Urbana continued to talk to the sandy black horse, the horse stopped focusing so much on the glowing hummingbird and was focusing on Urbana’s words. Soon it’s mane and tail started to change color from its deep black color to a bright silver. Then it backed away from Urbana’s grasp. It bowed to Urbana, then to the glowing hummingbird, then it turned around and ran off.

Urbana doubled over, like she just ran a marathon. A few fearful tears slipped from her eyes and she wiped them away with a shaking hand.

“Ugh, that was awful,” she breathed.

The glowing hummingbird flitted over to Urbana’s face and started squeaking. Upon closer inspection, Urbana could see that the glowing hummingbird had a human face and arms and legs. In her tiny grasp she held a child’s baby tooth.

“Oh. You’re a tooth fairy,” Urbana said as she held out her shaking hand and the tooth fairy perched on her thumb. Urbana immediately felt less shaky. “Are you okay?”

The little tooth fairy squeaked a few words out, then nodded her head.

“That’s good,” Urbana said. Then she pulled out a piece of chocolate from her pocket, unwrapped it then offered a bit to the tooth fairy, “Here. To give you a little bit of energy and calm your nerves.”

The tooth fairy took a bite. Then Urbana finished it off, she felt a lot better now.

“So, do you need me to drive you a ways away from here, or do you think you’re good,” Urbana asked her.

The tooth fairy shook her head, then after saying a few squeaky words, she fluttered off. Urbana stood in the dark alleyway for a few seconds as she watched her fly off. Then she walked back to her car.

The next night, Urbana was closing the bar down since she was the Bouncer that night. As she was making it to her car, Pitch appeared before her. She let out an involuntary scream.

“What are you—!”

“You did this didn’t you,” Pitch accused.

“What?”

“This!” He said as he pointed to a sandy black horse with a silver mane and tail that had suddenly appeared, “Undo it. Right now.”

“Why? What’s wrong?” Urbana asked.

“My Nightmare’s not attacking any of Sandman’s dreams or trying to eat any of Toothiana’s fairies,” Pitch stated, “It just goes about trying to find a child that isn’t dreaming, then does its own thing. My Nightmare’s not even trying to give the children the worst nightmares it can give. Now change it back.”

Urbana was about to ask why he would want to do any of that when a mass of little tooth fairies flew down and around Urbana like she was in the eye of a tornado. A woman’s voice called out, telling Pitch to get away from her. Then Urbana fell down into a dirt hole that she couldn’t avoid. She tumbled and slid in the dirt tunnels, then she was shot up into the air. Then Jack Frost caught her in the air and held her bridal style.

“Jack! Good to see you kid,” Urbana said as she ruffled his white hair, “I wasn’t expecting to see you until fall, at the soonest… What’s going on?”

Urbana looked around the Christmas themed workshop as Jack was explaining that they were protecting her.

As she was being put down on the floor, Urbana said, “But I’m not a little kid anymore. Why do you need to protect me?”

“Because you are a special case, Urbana Des Moines,” a thick Russian accented man said.

Urbana looked to the tall, thick man with long white hair and a long white beard. His red shirt’s sleeves were rolled up to reveal tattoos on his arms; one saying Nice and the other saying Naughty.

Urbana shook Jack’s shoulder with a breathless squeal, then asked, “Is that Santa?”

North smiled broadly at the glee and wonder that was sparkling from Urbana’s eyes, then he said, “It is rare for us to find an adult willing to believe in us just as much as the children and there’s also the fact that Tooth wanted to thank you personally for saving Baby Tooth.”

“There’s also the fact that you did something weird to Pitch’s Nightmares,” Jack added.

“Yah, Pitch is really upset about that,” Urbana said, “He wanted me to change it back, but I don’t even know how I changed the Nightmare in the first place.”

“Mmm. Maybe Manny will know what you did,” North said as he stroked his beard.

After he said that, a hole appeared in the floor beside them and outburst a flurry of little tooth fairies and then Toothiana herself flew up and out behind them. Urbana thought she was absolutely beautiful with her green feathers that were tipped with a rainbow hue and her gold jewelry that hung from her neck and wrists. Then out popped a large, humanoid bunny rabbit with boomerangs strapped to his back and black flower patterns adorning his gray blue fur, and following behind him was a sandy, plump, golden little man riding the Nightmare with the silver mane and tail.

The Nightmare was running around and swinging her back legs up to try and buck the golden man off her back. Eventually she succeeded and Urbana caught the golden man before he hit the ground. Urbana assumed that this was the Sandman.

“I got you Cousin,” Urbana said after she caught him.

Golden sand appeared above his head as he looked at her and the image of a thumbs up formed. He then hopped out of Urbana’s grasp. Urbana then went over to the silver haired Nightmare.

“Hey, baby,” Urbana cooed at her, “Do you remember me?”

Urbana held her hand out for the Nightmare to sniff. The Nightmare, however, skipped the formalities and went straight up to Urbana and placed her nose in her hand. Fear welled up in Urbana, but it wasn’t bad, it actually felt manageable and not hallucinatory like it felt for her the first time she touched this particular Nightmare. Urbana continued to pet and coo to it.

“Man, where were you in 2012,” Jack asked as he floated above her head.

“I wasn’t even born yet,” Urbana replied.

“Well, this is all noice an’ dandy, but woat are we gonna do with the Noightmare?” E. Aster Bunnymund said.

Urbana smiled, as she wasn’t expecting the Easter Bunny to have an Australian accent.

North, Bunnymund, and Jack started arguing with each other about what steps they should take with the Nightmare, when Toothiana went over to Urbana and tapped her on her shoulder.

Urbana stopped petting the Nightmare to greet the feathery woman, “It’s nice to meet you Ma’am. Thank you for taking care of my teeth.”

“_Thank you_ for saving Baby Tooth,” Toothiana said, “She told me that the Nightmare did a number on you, but you were very brave.”

“Eh, I just can’t leave well enough alone,” Urbana stated with a shrug.

The tinny tooth fairies got close to the Nightmare. Then one of them was brave enough to touch her, and when nothing happened, the whole mass of tooth fairies started to braid the Nightmare’s silver mane and tail. The Nightmare was calm the whole time and was nudging Urbana’s shoulder for more pets. She obliged.

Sanderson Mansnoozie tried to go up to the Nightmare to pet her, but she whinnied, stood on her hide legs to kick her front legs at him, then quickly trotted off to the opposite side of North’s workshop. Scattering the little tooth fairies in the process.

“Man, she does not like you,” Urbana said to the Sandman, “What did you do to her?”

Sandman shrugged his shoulders and had an, I-don’t-know, look on his face.

“Nightmares are made from Sandy’s sand that Pitch managed to corrupt,” Tooth explained, “Sandy is trying to return them back into his sand.”

“Yah, well, this Nightmare has a mind of her own,” Urbana said, “Even Pitch can’t control her anymore.”

Sandy looked up at Urbana in surprise and Toothiana said, “Really. That’s new…” Tooth then yelled at North, Jack, and Bunnymund who looked like all three of them were about to get into a fist fight. Tooth then told them what Urbana told her and Sandy.

“Ah, great. So, we got ourselves a rouge,” Bunnymund said, “We should definitely destroy it.”

“I still don’t think that’s a good idea,” North said.

“I want to use it to help us defeat Pitch,” Jack said, “Pitch is already getting stronger with how frightened the world is becoming, recently, we don’t want a mass panic.”

“I don’t think that’ll work either,” North said.

While Tothiana was trying to be mediator between the three men, Urbana squatted down to Sandman’s height, then said, “Hey, Cousin, do you really plan on breaking down the Nightmare to be your golden sand again?”

He shrugged.

“I think maybe you shouldn’t,” Urbana said, “She’s essentially useless to Pitch as she is and he doesn’t know how to make her back to the way she was, she also seems more friendly but she’s still scary. I know this may be controversial to you Guardians considering what little I know about you guys through Jack, but a little bit of fear isn’t that bad of a thing.”

Sandy gave her a skeptical look with one eyebrow raised at her.

“I know. I know. Just. She’s independent. I feel like she’ll do some good on her own if she’s allowed that chance,” Urbana said.

Golden sand appeared over his head and he made an image appear, showing a small figure of him petting a horse. Then he made a question mark appear.

“Okay. I can try to get her to let you pet her if that’s what you need to do to know what you want to do next,” Urbana said, then added, “Wait here.”

Urbana coxed the Nightmare over to Sandy as close as she could. It took some doing, but Urbana managed to convince the Nightmare to stay still and not run away from Sandy. Sandy then slowly went up to the Nightmare, then placed his little hand on the lower part of her left shoulder. The Nightmare stood extremely tense, but the longer Sandy had his hand on her shoulder, the less tense she became until she started to calmly shift from hoof to hoof and she bent her head down to look at the little man. Sandy lifted his hand off her shoulder to place it on her nose and then he started to stroke her nose. The Nightmare’s lower left shoulder had a golden handprint and soon her nose and mouth were golden too, but she was still herself.

After petting her, Sandy gave Urbana a thumbs up and an approving smile.

“Oh, good. Let’s tell the others,” Urbana said, then she yelled at the four of them, “Hey, we’re going to release this Nightmare back into the world!”

“Are you sure that’s safe,” Tooth asked.

“We really should just destroy it,” Bunnymund said.

“No, we need to use it to push Pitch back,” Jack said.

“You know, I like Urbana’s and Sandy’s idea,” North said, “I want to see what she does.”

The arguing continued, but then the workshop was enveloped by moonlight and everyone looked up.

“Oh, the moon’s beautiful tonight,” Urbana said.

“Manny,” North greeted warmly, “Maybe you can settle our little dispute?”

Urbana looked around as everyone seemed to be listening thoughtfully to the silence. Then Bunnymund lifted his arms up in defeat as he groaned. Jack looked pouty. Toothiana looked put to ease. Sandy gave the moon a thumbs up. North looked accepting.

“So, uh, what’s the verdict,” Urbana asked.

“Manny says that the Nightmare can be released into the public,” North said, “He’s confident that she won’t stir up a panic like Pitch can. However, he wants you to keep an eye on her.”

“Me?” Urbana asked, “How am I supposed to do that?”

“He’s leaving that to you,” North said.

The moonlight then disappeared from the workshop.

“Did he at least tell you guys why this Nightmare became the way she is,” Urbana asked, “Like, what did I do to her exactly?”

“Well,” North said, “Manny was unsure about this, but he said that it was a combination of you being a storyteller and being an adult, but he’s not sure if that’s completely true.”

Urbana sighed as she rubbed her shaved head while looking at the Nightmare, then she said, “I need to name her then… Licorice Mittens Des Moines.”

“Seriously,” Bunnymund said.

Urbana smiled gleefully and pointed at the Nightmare and said, “From now on you are Licorice Mittens Des Moines! My trusty steed and my new friend. Do you like your name girl?”

Licorice whinnied happily.

“Yah! Good girl,” Urbana cooed as she patted her side. Then to the Guardians, she said, “So this has been fun and all, but I should get home and get some sleep.”

“But you’re not safe with Pitch out there,” Jack said.

“Jack. Buddy. My boy. In all seriousness, I’m never really safe,” Urbana said, “Besides, what’s the worst Pitch can do? Give me really bad nightmares? Newsflash! He can’t do anything to me that he hasn’t already done to me as a kid. The only dreams I’ve ever had were nightmares so, don’t worry. I know how to handle my nightmares.”

Sandy grabbed Urbana’s forearm, making her look at him as he made an exclamation point appear over his head, using his golden sand.

“Oh, don’t worry Cousin. I don’t blame you,” Urbana told Sandy, “I know the world is large. You can’t give every sleeping kid a dream.”

“Yes he can,” Tooth said, sounding concerned, “He’s the Sandman. It’s his job.”

Urbana could only shrug.

Sandy balled up a baseball sized ball of his golden sand, then before Urbana knew what he was going to use it for, he threw it into Urbana’s face and Urbana immediately blacked out. Then what felt like hours later, Urbana was being shaken awake by Jack. Urbana looked around, confused for a second, then she remembered where she was.

“Please send me home,” Urbana said deadpanned.

Urbana got up and saw Sandy sitting in a corner looking upset, with Tooth trying to comfort him.

“What’s got into him,” Urbana asked.

“You really can’t dream,” Jack said.

“I know,” Urbana said, “Now help me up onto Licorice’s back.”

Jack helped to push her up on the Nightmare’s back then Bunnymund made a hole appear underneath them and Jack escorted them through the Easter Bunny’s tunnels to Urbana’s car. Urbana hopped off Licorice’s back and then told her to follow her home tonight, so she’ll know where she lives. The silver haired Nightmare nodded her head.

Urbana turned to Jack to tell him goodbye, but he looked upset.

“Jack? What’s wrong?” Urbana asked him.

“You never had a dream in your entire childhood?” Jack asked.

“I used to think I did, but it turns out that the “dreams” that I did have were just my dead Grandfather visiting me in my sleep,” Urbana said, “So, no. I’ve never had a dream before, only nightmares.”

Jack went up to Urbana and gave her a firm, cold hug.

“Oh, Jack,” Urbana said as she patted the teenage boy’s head, “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. We’re the Guardian’s of children. If we had known sooner, we would have done something about this,” Jack said, “Sandy would have been able to help you better.”

Urbana smiled kindly, then said, “You guys act like daydreaming doesn’t exist. I dream plenty, I just don’t dream when I’m asleep.”

Jack stopped hugging her then said, “Really?”

“Yah!” Urbana reassured him, then she said, “Now go back to the North Pole and protect those children. I’ll help you guys with whatever you guys need,” then she leaned in and whispered, “I’ll also kiss Pitch away for you guys too, if it needs to happen.”

“Ha!” Jack laughed with Urbana’s giggling as he pushed Urbana away from him. Then he said, “I don’t think so. Have a good night.” Then he flew off.

Urbana drove home with Licorice following close behind her.

# # #

Urbana was in the living room watching Disney’s Robin Hood with Haley, Danny, Jazz, Red, and Raven when someone knocked on the front door. Urbana immediately got up, saying she’ll get it because she was hoping it’s who she thinks it is. She opened the door to reveal Scarlet standing in front of the doorway. Urbana immediately hugged the lanky, man-looking, redhead, squishing Raven in the process. Raven smacked Urbana in the face.

The couple stopped hugging and Urbana said, “Sorry Raven,” then to Scarlet she said, “It’s so good to see you again. Do you have any luggage? I’ll help you carry it.”

“No,” He said, “I only packed a few things. I don’t need help.”

“Urbana… Who’s this,” Jazz asked as she held Red in her arms.

“Do you remember Scarlet,” Urbana asked, “From the B.P.R.D.’s HQ?”

“Scarlet was a woman,” Jazz said confused as she looked at the lanky man in front of her.

Scarlet’s body morphed to look like their voluptuous human woman disguise then she said, “Do you recognize me now?”

“Oh! That’s right! You’re the Succubus Uncle Red warned me about,” Jazz said, then asked, “What are you doing here?”

Danny came out of the living room with Jazz, and he said, “Come in. Close the door behind you.”

Scarlet obliged and Urbana answered Jazz’s question, saying, “We’re going to have a slumber party and hang out for a couple of days. It’ll be awesome.”

Danny had a teasing smile on his face as he said, “Is that what we’re calling it now?”

Jazz looked to her little brother and asked, “What do you mean?”

Scarlet’s face started to turn pink and Urbana was confused, and she asked, “Is there a new slang or something for a slumber party?”

Danny sighed then said, “Sometimes it’s so hard to tease you, Urbana.”

“You can’t tease someone who refuses to understand implied knowledge,” then she handed Raven to Danny, then grabbed Scarlet’s hand and said, “Come on. We only have three days together. I already know what we should do for today.”

Urbana dragged Scarlet to her room where they’ll be staying, then she dragged them to her car to which she drove them to a little coffee shop/bookstore in town to talk in private with each other. Scarlet told her about how there have been strange magical disturbances going on in remote places on Earth. Then they told her about how they’ve managed to make a new friend out of Abe, and how that went down. Then Scarlet told her about their rock collection that they started, and they showed Urbana pictures of what she’s collected so far. Urbana thought they were really pretty. Urbana then told Scarlet about successfully designing and creating merchandise for her Patreon followers on her comic and how that’s been selling really well. She told them how she’s been rejected by five book publishing companies so far for making her comic a physical book. Then Urbana showed off her training wounds that she got from training with Jim, Draal, and Angor Rot the other day and she told them how it happened.

They were having fun talking with each other when a blond, rotund buff man with a little blond mustache came up to their table.

“Can we help you,” Scarlet asked, sounding on edge.

He nodded his head at them in greeting, then said, “My name’s Captain Fanzone. You’re Urbana Des Moines, correct?”

“I remember you. You’re Ms. Elisa Maza’s police captain, right?” Urbana asked and when he nodded his head, she turned to Scarlet and said, “He helped arrest Susie,” then she turned back to the Captain and asked, “What are you doing here sir?”

“Do you remember speaking with a woman called Arcee?”

“Oh, thank goodness,” Urbana said with a sigh, “I was so worried. The radio silence has been so long. Do you have a friend with you or are you the messenger at the moment?”

“His name’s Prowl. He’s the motorcycle that I drove here on,” Captain Fanzone said.

“I see,” Urbana said as she stood up, “I’m going to call my friends and tell them we’re coming. I told them about everything, so this won’t take long.”

Scarlet paid for their drinks then the three of them waited outside while Urbana had her conversation with Blinky and Jim. Once the conversation was over, Scarlet asked what was going on and Urbana filled them in.

“I thought Steven and his Gems were the only aliens on this planet,” Scarlet asked.

“Yah, well, that’s what I thought too, but I’m beginning to think there’ll be more to come,” Urbana said to them under her breath. Then to Fanzone, she said, “Alright, we’re going off road so grab Prowl and I’ll lead you guys halfway.”

Once they reached the designated halfway point, an alleyway that’s between an abandoned two-story apartment and the bar, The Witching Hour, that Jim decided would make a good meeting spot for the aliens to visit with them, Urbana told them what was up.

“Okay. So, this is where Prowl and I will split with you two. Mr. Fanzone, get acquainted with the area, this is the meet up spot that my friends chose for their safety,” Then Urbana looked at the gold and black colored motorcycle and asked, “How do I blind fold you when you’re like this?”

“Uh, you’ll have to cover my whole body,” Prowl said.

Urbana looked through the abandoned garbage and then found an old bed sheet with dirt stains and other unknown stains. Urbana draped it over the gold and black motorcycle then said, “Okay, so this should take an hour at most, and if it runs longer, I’ll come back here and tell you what the hold up is, okay Mr. Fanzone?”

“Sounds reasonable,” he said.

Then before she started to push Prowl towards the abandoned park, Urbana turned to Scarlet and asked, “Kisses?”

Scarlet was surprised for a moment, but they bent down to give Urbana a quick peck on the lips. Urbana smiled wide after the kiss and Scarlet couldn’t help but smile just as wide as Urbana waved goodbye, with promises of being back soon.

Once Urbana had walked Prowl out of the back end of the alleyway, he said, “That was endearing. Are you two a new couple or have you two been spark bonded for a while now?”

“We’re a new couple. I don’t know what you mean by spark bonded but I don’t think we are,” Urbana said.

“That’s nice,” Prowl said, “New love is a precious thing that should be tended to and nurtured, even during these trying times of war.”

Urbana nodded in agreement to that.

They were almost to the bridge entrance when Prowl said, “So, Arcee told me that you made Cliffjumper appear by letting him eat your spark… Is that true?”

Urbana sighed as she propped him against the bridge, forgetting that he can stand on his own two wheels, then said, “Look. Do you trust Arcee?”

“Of course,” Prowl said, “She one of our most proficient and straightlaced fighters in the Autobot ranks.”

“Then why are you asking me if what I’ve done is true, if you trust Arcee to tell you the truth,” Urbana asked him as she got out her rock key and drew the door under the bridge.

He was silent as she pushed him through the doorway, then once the door had closed behind them, Urbana pulled off the sheet.

“I don’t know how big you are, but this part of the entrance may be a little cramped for you, so stay in your vehicle mode for a while longer. You’ll have more room to stretch before we make it to the bridge, though,” Urbana said as she folded the bed sheet and placed it on the floor.

“Is this an underground city,” Prowl asked as he rolled down the stairs.

Walking in front of him, Urbana said, “Yes. Trolls will die in sunlight, so they have to live underground or in thick shady places like forests.”

“And they’re Earthlings too,” Prowl asked.

“Yep. Just like me,” Urbana confirmed, “Isn’t Earth amazing?”

“Yes.” He agreed.

Once they were before the bridge, Prowl shifted and scrunched up and then unfolded into a giant thin robot with a black paint job with golden accents. His eyes were covered by a golden visor and he kind of looked like a stereotypical movie ninja. Prowl looked over the edge of the canyon and said, “By the Allspark… If we ration this right, we can make this last for decades.”

They crossed the bridge together and they were met with Blinky and Jim who were staring up at Prowl in amazement.

“Are you two trolls,” Prowl asked them.

“Yes. We are,” Blinky said, “I’m Blinkous Galadrigal the town elder, and this is the Trollhunter, Protector of Troll-kind and Human-kind, Jim Lake Jr.”

“I’m Prowl and on behalf of Optimus Prime and Rodimus Prime, I thank you for allowing me entrance to your home. We’ve been losing the fight against the Decepticons when it comes to the Energon game, but with this canyon of Energon, we can focus more on the war,” he said, sounding hopeful.

“So, how do you want to do this,” Jim asked, “Are you going to teach us how to excavate the Frozen Flames and then we give it to you guys or are you going to ask to come down here to mine for yourselves?”

“It’ll be safer if you would allow us to come down here to let us mine it ourselves,” Prowl said, “I think the only reason that the Decepticons haven’t found this large deposit of Energon yet, is because of how deep it is and because that giant crystal in the middle of your town over there seems to be interfering with the energy the Energon radiates. If we were to take this to the surface, the Decepticons would be able to pick up its unique signals and put your home and the town above it in danger.”

“Man, we’ve been really lucky so far then, huh?” Urbana said.

“How do you plan on getting the Frozen Flames out of here without taking it to the surface then,” Blinky asked.

“Well, with the coordinates that I have, we can have First Aid or Ratchet make a Ground Bridge appear,” Prowl said.

The three Earthlings looked at Prowl in confusion, not knowing what a Ground Bridge was.

“Oh. How do I explain this… What was that game called that Miko and Sari like to play together… Portal?” Prowl mused.

Jim and Urbana lit up at the name Portal, and Jim asked, “You guys have portal technology!”

“Not that kind of technology, but the concept is the same idea,” Prowl explained, “but instead of making two holes you just have one double sided hole.”

“Fascinating,” Blinky said, then he turned to Jim and asked, “What do you think, Master Jim?”

“I don’t see why not,” Jim said, “If it’s safer for them to Ground Bridge here, then I think we can allow it. Besides, we’re not using the Frozen Flames for anything since it’s so volatile and we can’t eat it.”

Blinky nodded his head in agreement, then said to Prowl, “Let’s look around so we can find you an optimal place for the Ground Bridge to appear.”

“Good idea,” Prowl said as he and Urbana followed Jim and Blinky along the edge of the canyon.

An hour had passed, and Urbana was taking the dirty bed sheet off of Prowl’s vehicle mode as they met up with Captain Fanzone and Scarlet again in the alleyway.

“How did it go,” Captain Fanzone asked.

“Wonderfully,” Prowl said as he rolled up to the man, “The Energon they have surrounding their home is enough to last us decades, if we ration it right.”

Captain Fanzone got on Prowl then said, “Good. We can make a full report to the Primes when we get back to the base,” then he turned to Scarlet and Urbana and said, “It was good meeting you ladies. Stay safe out there.”

Then they drove off leaving Urbana and Scarlet alone in the alleyway.

“So… do you want to get dinner together or do you want to hang out at the mansion until I have to go to work tonight,” Urbana asked.

“Let’s go hang out in the mansion, then I want to go to work with you, I want to see what you’re like on the job,” Scarlet said as they took Urbana’s hand in theirs.

Urbana shrugged, then said, “Sure. Why not.”


	36. A Nightmare of a Month

It was an early July morning and Urbana woke up in her room. It was quiet and the sun hadn’t risen yet. Gizmo wasn’t up playing on Urbana’s laptop and she didn’t hear Angela, Broadway, or Hazel galivanting through the hallways trying to catch Hazel who, despite not being very good at flying yet, keeps trying to climb and fly as much as she possibly can which usually gets her stuck in strange situations. Like one night Urbana came home from work to find Hazel swinging from the chandeliers in the entrance hallway while giggling like a mad lad with Raven and Red with her no less.

Urbana picked up her phone to see what time it was, but her phone was glitchy and garbled and she couldn’t read anything. She sighed and sat her phone down, sad that she was going to have to get a new phone. She got out of bed and went straight for her bathroom as she thought about getting a regular flip phone instead of the old touch screen phone that she owns, when she stepped into her bathroom, her foot fell through the floor and she was falling to the ground from a dizzying height. The wind rushing past her ears made her eyes water. Her screams muted by the speeding wind as she accelerated faster to the ground. As soon as Urbana hit the hard earth, she woke up in her bed.

Breathing heavily, Urbana looked around her dark room. It was quiet and the sun hadn’t risen yet. Gizmo wasn’t up and she could hear no one else being up. Urbana breathed a sigh of relief and picked up her phone to see what time it was. Her phone was glitchy and garbled and she couldn’t read anything. She sighed with annoyance then lightly tossed it back onto her nightstand and got out of bed, feeling like having some mint tea. As she opened her bedroom door, a human sized, blood red spider stood before her. Before Urbana had time to slam the door shut, the giant spider lunged at her and got on top of her. She struggled and screamed with all her might, but the spider was already wrapping her legs up in webbing and with a force of strength greater than her own, the blood red spider managed to force its venom dripping fangs into her neck and shoulder blade. Then Urbana woke up in her bed.

Her hands shaking, Urbana felt where the spider had bitten her. There was nothing there, but she still needed some reassurance. Urbana went over to the covered birdcage to wake Gizmo up and tell him what she’s been going through, to then uncover the birdcage and see a hairless, scaly, green, two-foot-tall creature with sharp fangs and claws and blood red cat eyes. Urbana saw that it was ready to pounce at her and she immediately covered it back up. Urbana jumped back as the birdcage fell off her fireplace mantle and started vibrating with snarls and the sound of claws scraping against metal. Urbana ran out of her room calling out for everyone to help her and telling them, something’s wrong with Gizmo. As she was running down the stairs, more of the weird hairless scaly creatures appeared and were chasing her, trying to claw at her or bite her. Urbana made it to the kitchen to then see more of the scary weird creatures eating on the entrails of the whole family, their bodies limp and lifeless and blood everywhere, pooling and flowing like a creek feeding into a pond. Urbana gagged at the sight and before she could do anything, the weird creatures crashed into her like a tidal wave and started eating her live. Then Urbana woke up in her bed.

Urbana sat up in bed as she patted herself down and looked around. Everything looked fine and normal. She then picked up her phone to see what time it was and saw that she couldn’t read her phone as it looked garbled and glitchy. Then something clicked in Urbana’s brain and she realized that she was having nightmares. Urbana snuggled back into her bed thinking, the best thing she could do was just ride it out and stay in bed if leaving her bed is what’s instigating the start of her nightmares. Urbana then felt her blood run cold as she heard the laughter of someone, she thought she’d never hear again, fill her room.

“Oh, Urbana, babe,” Audrey called out as his vines grew out from the floor of her room, “I’m so. So. Soooo hungry. Won’t you feed a poor creature like myself?”

Multiple bulbous flower heads hung over Urbana’s bed, thorns like fangs glistened through the dark of her room as they dripped a sappy fluid like saliva.

Urbana covered half her face with her bedsheets as she stared at Audrey’s multiple heads.

Then right in her ear, she heard him whisper, “You smell delicious.”

Urbana involuntarily screamed and jumped out of her bed, then the multiple heads of Audrey pounced on Urbana, biting into her and sucking all of her blood out of her body and Urbana watched as her body quickly became shriveled nothingness like that one scene in _Dragon Ball Z_ with Cell. Then Urbana woke up in her bed.

“God fucking damn it!” Urbana yelled.

Urbana hugged herself in fear as she looked around in anger. She then got out of bed, rummaged through her shoulder bag, pulled out her saber blade fencing sword, then, hesitating for just a moment, she slit her own throat. Urbana woke up in her bed.

“Okay, that didn’t work,” she said as she continued to lay in bed.

Urbana then heard another familiar laugh coming from underneath her bed.

“Pitch!” Urbana yelled out as she got out of bed then crawled under it, “You and I need to have a serious discussion, Mister!”

Urbana found no one under her bed but as she was looking around, something grabbed her by the ankles and dragged her out from under her bed. It was the giant blood red spider again.

Screaming and kicking the giant spider in the face as hard as she could, Urbana said, “You mother fucker! Phobias are easy to use on a person! You lazy nightmare, ass, no good boogieman, ass man!”

Urbana managed to kick the giant spider back enough to allow her to free her legs, then she ran for her bedroom window and jumped out of it. Instead of smashing into the ground and repeating the cycle, Urbana hit the ground like she was on the inside of a bubble. Then she plopped through the ground and sunk into a dark and sandy abys with gray lighting being the only thing that was letting her see her surroundings. Urbana took a moment to look at her surroundings and thought that it was beautiful.

She didn’t linger long though, figuring Pitch would trying to force her back into her head room if she stayed in one place for too long. As she swam through the black and grey sand, Urbana tried to summon Beetlejuice, but he didn’t appear. She figured as much, but she just thought she’d give it a go anyways. Then Urbana called out for Licorice, but she didn’t show up. Urbana looked around as she swam aimlessly. She wasn’t exactly sure what to do next. She knew that Pitch himself doesn’t need to be under her bed to make her have nightmares, since his Nightmares seem to allow him to scare multiple children at once, but as an adult, maybe he’s using more than one Nightmare on her…

Urbana stopped swimming, looked around herself, then started whistling and calling out to the Nightmares. Since she’s never called out to a horse before, she called out to the Nightmares like they were dogs.

“Oh Nightmares! Nightmares! Come here girls!”

The black and gray sandy abys rippled and spasmed around Urbana, then four Nightmares appeared and converged onto her, running at top speed. For one moment, Urbana thought that she had just made a mistake, and inadvertently backed away from the approaching Nightmares, but then she remembered Licorice, and how intimidating she can be, but how beautiful, and loving, and majestic she is, and yah, these Nightmares aren’t going to be exactly like Licorice, but they’re all still Nightmares, and they have some similarities. Urbana moved forward with a smile on her face as she embraced the closest Nightmare.

“Hello,” She cooed to the Nightmare. The black, sandy abys around them shifting to actualize Urbana’s fears, but never completed their forms and quickly deformed, then repeated, “Now who are you?”

The Nightmare that Urbana was hugging was stock still, as were the other three Nightmares. Urbana felt like she was getting a premonition then said, “You’re a child’s nightmare fear of moving dolls and mannequins, aren’t cha?”

The Nightmare whinnied softly.

“Mmm, yes, that’s a hard fear to be, you’re doing a wonderful job, I bet you’ve scared plenty of children, and I bet you’ve inspired them to be braver too,” Urbana said, but then sigh and added, “But I’m pretty sure that the kind of fear that you are is also a phobia like spiders are my phobia, so I’m not sure how inspired your kids are by you… Oh well. I’m sure you’re doing a great job anyways.”

As Urbana spoke, the Nightmare’s sandy black hair turned silver. Urbana went up to each Nightmare and embraced them. She learned that one was a nightmare fear of heights. One was a nightmare fear of murky and/or deep water. The final Nightmare was the hardest for Urbana to embrace since it was a nightmare fear of spiders, but she did, and she got to know all four of them. Her interactions with them made all of their hair turn silver.

“It’s so nice to meet you all,” Urbana said, “Can I ask for your help?”

The four Nightmares looked at her inquisitively.

“I’m still in some sort of dream world, right?” Urbana said as she gestured around at the black and gray sandy surroundings, “Do you guys think you can take me to Pitch so I can ask him why he’s doing all this. Making it where I can’t wake up and I’m haunted by my nightmares seems a little much for accidentally making _one_ of his Nightmares go rouge on him, you know?”

The Nightmare who held the embodied fear of spiders came up to Urbana and kneeled low, so Urbana could hop up on her back. Urbana hesitated, but got on and the five of them galloped through the black and gray, sandy abys at incredible speeds. The farther they ran, the darker everything became, until there was nothing but the black and chocking sand. Urbana looked at her hands, wondering why she was able to see anything in this darkness, and saw that she was glowing gold, so she was astral projecting, and despite being somewhat calm, she knew she must be extremely stressed.

Then the five of them came upon an old, rotting bed with no one in it.

“Pitch?”

“You…” Pitch’s voice, dripping with anger, said from under the bed.

Urbana hopped off the Nightmare and went over to the bed, then leaned down to look under the bed.

“You know, this is kind of funny, me talking to you under your bed,” Urbana said with a chuckle, “It’s like I’m trying to look for Gizmo or something.”

Black sand was thrown into her face, making Urbana back away from looking under the bed so she could wipe it away. After she dusted her face off, she looked around and saw that she was standing in front of Susie, who was standing on a pile of dead bodies comprised of her friends.

Susie laughed maniacally, then said, “You’re next Urbana!”

Then Ghost Vlad came out from behind the pile of her friend’s dead bodies, with those Freddy claw hands that he used on her before. As Vlad pounced at her, Urbana made no move. Then Vlad passed through her and he, Susie, and the pile of Urbana’s dead friends disappeared, and she was back in the inky blackness of Pitch’s sandy mind. A few fearful tears slipped from Urbana’s eyes, but she wiped them away as she went back over to Pitch’s bed.

“Pitch. If you don’t come out of there yourself, I’ll drag you out myself,” Urbana warned him.

More black sand was thrown into Urbana’s face. After dusting herself off, the world around her was still nothing but black sand, but her father was on the other side of the bed.

“Why couldn’t you be normal, like the other kids,” Not-Bob said.

Urbana said nothing as she stared at him from the other side of the bed.

“You never should have been born,” Not-Bob said, “Then Rosie wouldn’t have died. It’s your fault that she worried so much about you that her heart gave out. It’s your fault that you made me, and your mother look like fools every time you decided to pretend to talk to a ghost. Why couldn’t you be normal.”

Urbana went up to the bed, gripped the underside of it, then flipped it up and into Not-Bob and he dispersed into black sand and disappeared. Pitch was now before Urbana. Crouched down low on his belly, like he was a crab. As he stood up to stand intimidatingly in front of her, Urbana grabbed his wrist and said, “We’re going to have a little scene change, Mister.”

Pitch looked at her incredulously.

Urbana thanked the Nightmares for helping her find him, with Pitch angrily snarling at them as they ran off to do their own thing. Then Urbana jumped up and broke through the sandy blackness like she was on the inside of a bubble, while dragging Pitch behind her. Pitch struggled the whole way, trying to get Urbana to let go of him, but he couldn’t, which didn’t make since to him. She was in his domain. He’s supposed to be stronger than her here, even when they are leaving it.

The two of them entered a space with a clear blue sky with a bright sun shining over a grassy meadow surrounded by tall ancient trees of a forest. Urbana then let go of him. Pitch immediately ran away, trying to get out of the brightly lit place of Urbana’s mind. Urbana sat down in the grass as she watched Pitch run in circles, like a scared puppy in a cage.

After a while, Urbana asked, “Are you done yet? Can we talk now?”

“I hate you so much!” Pitch exclaimed from behind a shady tree.

“Why?” Urbana asked him. Hand on her chin as she leaned forward, looking at him from across the meadow.

“You’re afraid. I know you are, but you keep going, and I hate it,” Pitch said.

“You mean, you don’t like that I’m being brave,” Urbana asked.

Pitch scoffed.

“Is it always harder for you to scare adults over children,” she asked.

Pitch said nothing as he glared at her.

“Okay, your turn,” Urbana said.

“…For what?” he asked.

“Ask me a question,” she said.

Pitch looked like he wasn’t going to ask her anything for a while, and Urbana was about to try saying something when he asked, “How did you change more of my Nightmares and how did you get out of the nightmare I created for you?”

“Well, to be honest. I’m still in the nightmare, Pitch. I can’t wake up and I’m hoping you’ll decided to let me wake up soon,” Urbana said.

“Like I’ll ever willingly do that,” he said, “how else am I going to prevent you from changing any more of my Nightmares.”

“You forcing me into a nightmare coma did not stop me from changing your Nightmares,” Urbana reminded him.

Pitch walked out from hiding behind the shady tree, stomped over to her, then said, “How!?”

“I, honest to God, don’t know how I’m doing anything to your Nightmares. I just talk to them and then poof, their hair turns silver,” Urbana said, “Besides, if you hadn’t of put me in this nightmare coma, I wouldn’t have changed four more of your Nightmares.”

“Yah, well you should learn to stay out of people’s business, then I wouldn’t have put you in this nightmare coma,” he said.

“Then don’t make your Nightmares chase down innocent people like those little tooth fairies. All they’re doing is buying children’s teeth,” she said.

“I will not,” Pitch said.

“Why,” Urbana asked, “What’s the point in you being an absolute ass to everyone?”

“I’m Pitch,” he said as he gestured wildly to himself, “I’m the Boogeyman, the Nightmare King, the Monster under your bed. I put fear into the hearts of everyone.”

“That’s not answering my question,” Urbana said, “You can still be all those things and not be an ass at the same time.”

Pitch could say nothing.

“Do I scare you, Mr. Boogeyman,” she asked.

Choking on his words he said, “No! Of course not!”

“You sound like you’re lying,” Urbana said with a small smile.

Pitch scoffed then turned his back on her. Urbana leaned back to lay in the grass.

“So. If you manage to make everyone disappear, Santa, Easter Bunny, Jack Frost, Sandman, and Tooth Fairy, all of them, and you become the main thing that makes children and adults fear the world, what will you do then?” she asked.

“I’ll be the most powerful belief in the world,” he said, his back still to her as he stood tall and confident.

“Okay. Then what will you do with that power,” she asked.

“I’ll make even more people afraid,” Pitch said.

“But you can already make people afraid,” Urbana said, “So what’s the point in being the most powerful belief in the world?”

He looked like he was about to answer, but he faltered and slouched a bit. He turned around to look at her, seeing that she was laying down, and she waved up at him with a small smile. Awkwardly, he went over to Urbana, sat down, then laid down in the tall grass too. Urbana was surprised by that, but she said nothing. They both said nothing for a long time as they stared at the clear blue sky.

“When I wake up, I’m going to seriously look for a therapist,” Urbana said, “Instead of putting it off like I have been.”

With a smile he said, “I scared you that bad, huh?”

“Yah. You brought out things I’ve been shoving down for the past year and for my entire life too… I can’t keep treating myself like this. So… Thank you for your help,” Urbana said.

When she thanked him, his smile vanished, and he looked uncomfortable.

“Did I say something wrong,” she asked.

Instead of answering, the world around them started to dissolve into black sand, and a bright white light shone into Urbana’s eyes. As she went to rub her eyes, she felt an IV needle wiggle in her right arm. She looked around and saw that she was in a sunny hospital room. Jack Frost and Sandman were sitting in the corner talking with themselves as she heard her Aunt Jane, her father, Gomez, and Morticia talking with each other on the other side of the closed door. Urbana waved at Jack and Sandy who came over to her immediately, with Jack hugging her and Sandy taking her hand to pat it reassuringly.

“We’re so glad you’re awake,” Jack said, “We came as soon as we found out what happened to you.”

“How did you find out,” Urbana said under her breath.

“Licorice found Sandy and brought him to you,” Jack said as he pulled back his hug, “We tried to help you, but Pitch’s sand had completely consumed you.”

“Is Licorice here,” Urbana asked in a whisper.

Sandy pointed out the window and Urbana saw the Nightmare looking through it, concern in her dark eyes. Urbana gave her a reassuring wave.

“How did you defeat Pitch,” Jack asked.

“Oh, he just let me go,” Urbana breathed, with a small smile.

The two Guardians looked at each other in confusion.

Then before they could ask her any more questions, the door opened and Aunt Jane, her father, Gomez, and Morticia walked in. Urbana was immediately surrounded by her family as they happily embraced her. All four adults fazing through Jack and Sandy.

# # #

It was the hottest day of July and Urbana asked Jim and Blinky if she, the Fenton family, and the Addams family could all come down to New Trollmarket to hang out and stay cool and the two trolls allowed it.

It was a busy day in New Trollmarket. Morticia and Grandmama were speaking with Blinky, with the ghost of Vendel following them, about creating an underground community garden comprised of eatable mushrooms, moss, and lichen. Maddy and Jack were in Blinky’s study with Aaarrrgghh trying to learn Trollish. Gomez and Pugsley were running the circumference of the city as part of Pugsley’s training/punishment; with Gomez wanting to make sure that his son is really ready to train as hard has his daughters do. Jazz was sightseeing in the city on her own, with the local kids sometimes pestering her with questions that she was happy to answer. Fester was currently speaking with NotEnrique about his chemical experiments and NotEnrique was telling Fester about his various cocktail drinks that he makes for troll kind. Tucker, Danny, and Sam were hanging out and were learning about what PyroBligst is from Toby. Lydia and Wednesday were having a romantic stroll through the city as they went window shopping. Lurch was babysitting the two one-year-olds, Raven and Red, while he was looking at some precious stones in the food court that were being sold like they were hocking fries at a baseball game.

Jim, Jake, and Rose were hanging out in the courtyard as they talked about their respective responsibilities and reporting to each other about the strange upset of magic going on. Fu Dog, Melody, Spud, and Trixie were hanging out with Claire as she showed off her increased control over her dark magic. Master Splinter and his boys were shopping for supplies and were making trades using things that Don has made or what they find that the Trolls can’t get on their own. Steven and Bismuth were speaking with the hermit troll, Muck, the great builder that Vendel praised so much, about starting up a new building plan to help protect New Trollmarket from having another attack on them like what happened in Heartstone Trollmarket. Hilda, Grandmama’s sister who owns the tailor shop on the surface, was selling handmade socks to Bagdwella, to sell to the troll populous on her behalf. If it wasn’t the middle of the day, Broadway, Angela, and Hazel would have been down here with everyone else as well, but since they come down to New Trollmarket every other night, to socialize Hazel with the local kids, no one was too bent out of shape about their absence.

Urbana was riding bareback on Licorice, while racing Beetlejuice, Draal, and Angor Rot from the top of the large reddish-purple crystal in the middle of the city, to the outskirts, then back again. Beetlejuice was mostly winning their several races, with Angor Rot being the one that would win first place every other time, while Draal was always third and Urbana and Licorice could never even get close to second.

“Ha, ha! I win again,” Beetlejuice cheered as he touched the giant reddish-purple crystal first.

Beetlejuice then started doing his mandatory, but not really mandatory, victory dance. Which just involved him wiggling his ass at the four of them while sometimes slapping it.

“Boo!” Urbana jeered with Licorice whinnying in agreement with her.

“Draal the Deadly refuses to accept being in third place,” the blue, spikey troll said.

“Third place isn’t such a bad place to be, Draal,” Angor Rot said.

“That’s easy for you to say, Mister, sometimes-I’m-first,” Urbana snapped.

“Sounds to me like all three of you are a bunch of sore losers,” Beetlejuice said, with a wicked, mischievous laugh.

From the Energon mining sight, the whole town could hear the Ground Bridge opening and from their vantage point, the four of them could see a few of the robot alien people coming in to do their weekly mining operation.

“Oh! This is perfect. Follow me you guys. I want to introduce you three to Cliffjumper. He’s a ghost too,” Urbana said before she told Licorice to run towards the giant aliens.

Urbana road up to the tallest guy, a red and blue bot who was really bulky looking like if he was human, he would look like an Olympic crossfit trainer.

“Hello,” Urbana greeted.

The giant robot guy looked at her with his glowing blue eyes, then looked down at Licorice, then back up at her. Then he said, “Hello.”

“Can I have one of the Prime’s permission to visit with Jack and/or Arcee? I want to visit with Cliffjumper again,” Urbana said.

A sapphire blue, yellow, and white robot came up from behind the big bot, and said, “Woah! Look guys, a flying human.”

The other three bots came over to look at her and Licorice.

“I’m Urbana, what are all of your names?”

“I am Optimus Prime,” the tallest of the bots said.

“Smokescreen,” the bot who called everyone else over said.

A white and ice blue robot lady said, “I’m Chromia.”

“I’m Bulkhead,” a wide and dark green robot said.

A white robot with red and blue stripes on his chest said, “And I’m Jazz. Nice to meet you in person Urbana.”

“The pleasure is all mine,” Urbana said, then added, “Mr. Prime, would it be okay if I went to see Jack and/or Arcee. I really want Cliff to visit with some of my ghost friends, so he’ll have some people to talk with other than me.”

“You are also the human that had thrown up Dark Energon after helping Cliff, if I’m not mistaken,” Optimus Prime said.

“That’s correct,” Urbana said.

“You may do what you like, but first I want you to visit with Ratchet and First Aid. Dark Energon is very toxic, even for bots like us. I want to be sure that you are completely fine,” Optimus Prime said.

“Yes, sir, I can do that,” Urbana said.

After Optimus called Ratchet and told him that she was coming over, Urbana asked Licorice to let her down and told her that she could go do her own thing after she was on the ground. Then Urbana and her three ghost friends walked through the Ground Bridge.

Her bones felt like they were vibrating after she exited from the Ground Bridge. Even Beetlejuice, Draal, and Angor Rot were affected by the Ground Bridge, but they all thought it felt pleasant instead of sickening.

The base was huge and looked like it was an underground base. Made of concrete and steel with a lot of ladders, but Urbana thought that it must be pretty small feeling for all the different bots she saw sitting around a platform with the sounds of children playing car racing games.

Standing in front of the entrance was a large boxy looking red and white robot wearing a blue visor.

“Hello,” Urbana said.

“Hello. I’m First Aid. You’re the human that Optimus told us about,” he asked.

“Yes, sir,” Urbana said.

“Follow me. Ratchet is already setting up the scanner,” then he started leading the way with Urbana and her friends following close behind.

After being scanned and asked a few medical question, First Aid and Ratchet concluded that she was perfectly healthy. Both of them, especially Ratchet, were baffled that a human was capable of filtering out the Dark Energon from her body with such proficiency. They asked if she had any of the thrown up Dark Energon that they could examine. Now, any normal person would have said no, but Urbana knew that Grandmama had saved some of it for her potion experiments and she told the two medical bots that she could send them some tomorrow.

After that the two bots directed her to where the other humans were and the two of them left to check on some machinery. Urbana climbed up the two-story tall ladder, with Beetlejuice, Angor Rot, and Draal floating close behind her, to the platform that the other humans were on with the three different bots surrounding the platform. As soon as Urbana made it to the top of the platform, she saw Jack who was watching a little boy and a Japanese girl playing the racing video game.

“Look at you!” Urbana said as she went over and grabbed Jack into a head lock and gave him a noogie, “I’m so glad you’re okay,” Urbana then let go of him then looked around to see if she could find Cliffjumper, but he wasn’t anywhere close by, “Is Arcee out?”

“Yah. Her, Prowl, Rodimus, Ultra Magnus, and Grimlock are out looking for more Energon so that the Decepticons don’t get suspicious about why we’re not as desperate for the stuff as we use to be.”

“Mmm, smart,” Urbana said.

The sound of a video game car crashing resounded and a Japanese girl pushed Jack out of the way. She had pink colored pigtails on her head, and she was dressed in overalls that she obviously decorated herself that was covering a graphic t-shirt.

“Is it true! Can you see ghosts? Did you really eat Dark Energon and survive! I want to see your spark,” she said.

“Miko, back off,” a twenty-year-old woman in an orange and peach colored dress said. She looked human, but she obviously was part machine with her glowing blue eyes that the other Autobots share, a blue plug-in like thing on her chest that looked like what the other Autobots seem to have, and her joints in her fingers were a lot like the Autobots too.

“Thank you,” Urbana said.

“But really, can you take out your spark and not die,” the robotic human asked.

“Hey!” Beetlejuice shouted as he made himself appear before the four kids and three giant robots, making them scream at his sudden appearance, as he continued to say, “We came here so she could introduce us to Cliffjumper, not so she can answer your annoying and invasive questions!”

Urbana covered Beetlejuice’s mouth, then said, “I do appreciate your interest in me, but it does seem unfair for you to ask so much of me without even introducing yourselves.”

“We’re sorry,” the little boy with spiky brown hair said as he put away his controller, he looked like he was nine or ten, “I’m Rafael Esquivel,” then he pointed at the robot/human lady and said, “That’s Sari Sumdac,” then he pointed at the very expressive young Japanese girl and said, “And that’s Miko Nakadai and you already know Jack.” Then they all took a turn introducing the three bots standing beside the platform; Miko introduce the white robot with the green and red strips to her as Wheeljack, Jack introduced the red robot with blue accents as Perceptor. Then Rafael introduced his best bot friend, Bumblebee, to Urbana, Bumblebee said hello to her, but it was in the form of boops and beeps, which absolutely delighted Urbana, and on a whim, she said hello back to Bumblebee, mimicking him perfectly.

“Do you even know what you said,” Rafael asked her while everyone looked at her in surprise.

“I said hello, like he did,” Urbana said, “What? Is my accent weird?”

“No. It’s not,” Bumblebee said with his boops and beeps, “I just didn’t know humans could mimic so well.”

“Eh, I couldn’t mimic things very well before, but then I died, and now I can mimic the sound of almost anything,” Urbana said.

“Woah,” Jack said with all four kids looking at her in concern, “You died?”

“I got better,” Urbana stated.

Wheeljack laughed heartily, then said, “Miko. I like her. We should get her to join our Wreaker team, so you won’t be the only human anymore.”

“Wreaker team?” Urbana asked.

“Yah!” Miko agreed, then said with pride, “Wreckers are the people you call in when you want to win the fight in a tough situation. We’re tough, we’re loud, and we get the job done.”

“Cool. It’s good to meet you all,” Urbana said, then Urbana introduce Beetlejuice, saying, “He’s a dirty stinky man, but I love him.”

“Don’t talk about me like I’m a feral cat,” He scoffed with a smile.

“This is Angor Rot. He’s a troll that was proficient in magic,” Urbana said.

Angor Rot managed to make himself appear before the four kids, just as solidly as Beetlejuice is capable of, but it lasted for about thirty seconds, but he managed to get out a hello.

“This is Draal. He’s also a troll who’s like the most amazing fighter ever,” Urbana said, “He could snap my neck with one hand if he wanted to and I’m pretty sure I’d be okay with that.”

“I’d never purposely hurt you,” Draal said as his form flickered before the seven strangers, with none of them hearing a thing he said.

“I’m just trying to get across just how deadly you are Draal,” Urbana said.

“I want my own ghost friends now,” Miko said, starry eyed.

“I don’t know,” Beetlejuice said, “I have very high standards for my friends.”

“I can play the guitar and I love Death Metal music,” Miko said.

“Oh no,” Beetlejuice then turned to Urbana and said, “She’s meeting all of my standards.”

Urbana sputtered into a fit of giggles at the look on his face as he said that.

Urbana and her ghost friends all visited with the three bots and the four kids answering any questions that they were curious about and they answered her questions in turn. Urbana learned a lot about what the Wreakers do and what their parents are doing and how they saw Cybertron. As Urbana was telling Sari about Steven, they all heard the Ground Bridge opening.

“We’re home! First Aid. Ratchet. Do you two any help with anything,” Arcee asked as she walked in with her group.

“No! We’re fine! Just keep Grimlock away from us so he doesn’t break anything,” Ratchet yelled.

“Hey!” A lime green and lemon-yellow colored bot with a black head said.

Urbana saw Cliffjumper walking in, from the back of the group.

“Hey Cliff!” Urbana cheered.

“Urbana!” He greeted enthusiastically running through his teammates, who felt a shiver of cold electricity run through them, up to the platform that Urbana and everyone else was hanging out on.

Cliffjumper offered his hands for her to hop up onto and Urbana happily obliged. Everyone stared at her in shock, except for Arcee and Jack, when they saw her float up on her own like she was flying. As Cliff brought her closer to his face to be able to see her better, Urbana hugged his right thumb in greeting, ignoring the energy draining she felt.

“It’s so good to see you again you red rust bucket. How have you been? Has your team been talking to you properly? Do you feel any side effects from being without the Dark Energon in ya? I brought over some friends I want to introduce to you,” Urbana said.

“Good. Yes and no. No. And I can’t wait,” Cliff said.

All three ghosts congregated into Cliff’s hands and she introduced them to him.

“It’s nice to meet you all,” Cliff said, “So. You’re all Earthlings?”

Angor Rot nodded.

Draal said, “I think Stoneling describes Angor Rot and I better.”

“I’ve been dead for so long, I’m not entirely sure,” Beetlejuice said with a shrug, “But since I’m here, might as well be called that.”

“How have you been, Urbana,” Cliffjumper asked her.

“Oh, you know. Woke up two days ago form a weeklong nightmare coma where I kept dying in exceedingly gruesome ways, but hey I have a proper therapist now, so I’ll have someone to talk about all that with properly,” Urbana informed the dead bot.

“Considering you died once in real life, I’m not surprised,” Perceptor said.

Urbana finally look around to find every bot in the building staring at her. Beetlejuice just noticed as well and tuned himself invisible.

Then in a loud whisper, Urbana said, “Cliff. Walk somewhere privet or something. I think I’m upsetting them.”

“By Primus, how are you doing that,” A red and yellow flaming robot asked.

“She just can,” Arcee answered for her, “Cliffjumper’s just holding her… Hey Cliff.”

“Hey Arcee,” Cliff greeted, and Urbana relayed his answer.

Cliffjumper was about to walk away with Urbana in his hands, but then Grimlock started lifting her up by the back collar of her shirt and then dropping her.

“Hey. Hey! HEY!” Urbana yelled as he kept picking her up and then dropping her into Cliff’s hands, “Do you mind!”

“Do you want me to knock his block off,” Beetlejuice asked her.

“Beetlejuice, no,” Urbana said, “and you,” she said as she pointed at Grimlock, “How would you like it if I did that to you?”

“You physically can’t, though,” He said, genuinely confused.

“Oh my God,” Urbana seethed as she facepalmed.

“Urbana you’re burning my hands,” Cliff said. Urbana tried to calm herself.

The red and yellow flaming robot chuckled, then said, “Humans are so cute when they’re angry.”

“Oh thems fightin’ words, bub,” Urbana instantly snapped at him, “Turn into a car you flaming hot rod! I’ll go Street Fighter on your tin can ass.”

Beetlejuice and Draal were cheering her on while Angor Rot and Cliffjumper silently watched her, to see what she’d do.

“I will have to advice you not to try and beat up Rodimus Prime,” a light blue robot with a giant hammer strapped to his back said, “It would be unwise.”

“I’m not trying to be wise, Mister,” Urbana informed him.

“I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t though,” Cliff added.

Urbana sighed, then said, “Okay. Since you asked.”

The bots that were surrounding her looked between themselves and Rodimus Prime then cupped his hands together and scooped Urbana up into his hands, passing through Cliff’s hands and through the three ghosts that were standing on his hands with her.

“This is amazing, she really was standing on something,” Rodimus said.

“Okay! That’s it! I want to go home,” Urbana said as she climbed out of Rodimus Prime’s hands and hopped back into Cliffjumper’s hands, making several of the bots around her flinch to catch her from falling to her death, “Cliff, we should do this some other day. I just wanted you to meet my dead friends so you could have someone to talk to other than me. Let me make you a Spirt Ball first before I go so you and Arcee can chat with each other again.”

The bots that surrounded her watched as she pulled a beachball sized golden ball of light from her chest. Then handed it to Arcee.

“He’ll probably eat this before you two get the chance to be by yourselves, so hold it for him will you,” Urbana asked, then said, “Remember. It’ll only last for about five minutes.”

“I can do that, and I will. Thank you,” Arcee said as she gripped the Spirit Ball between her thumb and pointer finger.

Urbana then said goodbye to Cliff, hopped out of his hands, and Beetlejuice caught her and safely flew her down to the ground with her troll friends following close behind.

“Please don’t go yet,” Miko begged from the platform, “We still have so much stuff to talk about.”

“Which will just have to wait until next time,” Urbana said as she had Beetlejuice float her down in front of Miko on the platform. Urbana then pulled out a card and said, “Here. Have this. It has my address on it and we have meetings at my house biweekly. You and your friends can talk with all kinds of people there.”

“Aaw…” Miko whined, but she took the card anyways.

“By kids! It was nice meeting you!” Urbana yelled before she hopped off the platform, Beetlejuice once again catching her.

They all said goodbye to her with Sari yelling playfully at her that she’s twenty. Ratchet got the Ground Bridge running and sent her, and her ghost friends, back to the Energon mining sight/New Trollmarket safely. As the Ground Bridge closed behind her, Urbana saw Optimus Prime talking with Master Splinter and the turtle boys and as she got closer, she heard them talking about the Foot.

“They look serious,” Angor Rot commented.

“Yah,” Urbana said as she watched the two groups interact for a bit, then said, “Let’s leave them be. I can talk to them about it next time I come over to Master Splinter’s house for training.”

# # #

It was a cool July night as Sam, Urbana, Tucker, and Danny were at the live Mystery Skull’s concert in New York Central Park. The band had been playing their most recently released album for the past hour and were currently on break to get something to drink and eat. The audience decided to do the same. The four young adults sat on their picnic blanket while Sam got out the food and drinks from the picnic basket for everyone.

“Okay, a veggie and mozzarella cheese salad bowl for you,” Sam said as she handed Urbana her food, “six shish kabobs of steak, sausage, and bacon for you,” Sam said as she handed Tucker his food, “a hamburger with extra pickles, lettuce, tomato, onion, light on the mustard and mayo sauce for you,” Sam said as she handed Danny his food, “and a fruit salad bowl with a side of tofu for me.”

“Anybody need a refill of lemonade,” Tucker asked as he had the large store bought two gallon container of lemonade in hand.

Danny and Urbana held out their drinks for Tucker to fill up for them.

“You know guys, this is really nice just hanging out with you all,” Urbana said between bites of her salad.

“Same,” Sam said, “and you know what. I think you guys made me a fan of Mystery Skulls.”

Tucker and Urbana looked at Sam with unbridled glee as they began asking her questions about what her favorite song is so far and what she thought of the techno parts of certain songs and their way of parodying other genres of music. All the while, Danny was silently and happily listening to his friends and girlfriend talk with each other, enjoying the good food his Grandmama made for them before they all left.

As the band came back from their break for the final hour of the show, Danny sighed, his breath fogged, and Urbana saw it.

“Ah, mierda.”

“Damn it.”

Urbana and Danny said at the same time.

“What?” Sam and Tucker asked.

“We’ve got some ghosts nearby,” Danny said.

“Do you really think it’ll be those violent types of ghosts,” Tucker asked, hoping to just ignore whatever was making Danny’s ghost breath activate, wanting to spend a normal night with his friends.

Danny sighed again with more fog coming out than the first time.

Urbana looked up to see that the band was having a hard time with their electric devices and the stage lights were flickering slowly.

“We need to see what’s going on,” Urbana said as she felt the hairs on the back of her neck and on her arms prickle.

Tucker groaned.

Sam put a comforting hand on his should and said, “Hey, there’s always next time.” Then Sam handed him the Fenton Thermos and his backpack, then handed Urbana her shoulder bag.

“I feel it this way,” Danny said as he got up and started walking left of the stage.

The three of them followed Danny around the stage, leaving behind their picnic stuff and the crowd of people behind as they walked further into the dark Central Park. They didn’t venture out far though, as the four of them heard someone being thrown and had to quickly move out of the way as the hulking figure flew past them.

“Uncle Red!?”

“Hellboy!?”

Everyone said at once.

Danny immediately transformed into his ghost form before he went after his uncle, who had crashed into the backstage of the concert. With the not-so-distant sounds of screaming, Tucker, Sam, and Urbana peered through the darkness.

“Abe! Liz!” Sam called out, hoping that Hellboy wasn’t alone in whatever he’s gotten himself into this time.

Through the darkness, the three of them could see a fiery green glow floating towards them.

“Skulker?” Urbana asked as he became more visible. To Urbana, something wasn’t right about him. His smile looked forced. His movements seemed puppeted and strained. His eyes were glowing yellow instead of green. And he wasn’t making any kind of quick-witted banter or saying anything sassy. Skulker then flew at them to attack. Sam and Tucker were ready, but Urbana took the lead as she used her energy to fling him back.

“Guys watch my back,” Urbana said as she went after Skulker.

Urbana then absolutely wreaked Skulker by shoving her arm down his exosuit’s ass, grabbed the exosuit’s tongue, then pulled the suit inside out breaking it to bits and exposing Skulker’s true form, a little green blob the size of a soft ball with tiny, spindly arms and legs. Urbana picked him up and brought him over to Sam and Tucker, saying, “Yah, he still looks weird. What do you think is wrong with him?”

“This reminds me of that one time when Freakshow controlled Danny and the other ghosts,” Sam said.

“But their eyes glowed red, not yellow,” Tucker said as he was about to suck Skulker into the Fenton Thermos.

The three of them heard clapping and a tall spindly man walked up to them.

Then in a thick Russian accent, he said, “You put on quite a show there, molodaya ledi.”

To Sam and Tucker, he looked like your average creepy old man. To Urbana, though, she wasn’t exactly sure what she was seeing. She knew that what was standing before them was human shaped, but Urbana could see through the dim light that his skin seemed to ripple and squirm like worms or tentacles, like his skin was barely containing whatever he truly is. There was also an inviting glow about him, something warm and welcoming, but his glassy cold eyes and his deathly grin kept Urbana rooted to the spot.

Skulker, still in Urbana’s grasp, started spasming and foaming at the mouth.

“Put him in the Thermos!” Urbana said, panicked, as she felt her energy being drained out of herself quicker that what she’s ever felt him, or any other normal ghost do to her.

Tucker did so immediately. The Thermos vibrated violently in his grasp.

“Oh, a shame,” he said as the sound of fire and ice exploded behind him, illuminating the background as more screaming resounded. The three of them could see six figures fighting behind the creepy Russian man as he continued to say, “Well, no matter. I have many other servants that can help me.”

Then a dozen ghosts rose from the ground, half of them Urbana recognized from when she had that bounty on her head, the other half were random ghosts she’s never seen before.

“Privedite mne temnokozhuyu baryshnyu,” he said as he pointed at them.

Urbana didn’t know what he said, and his face was completely darkened by the burning fire he was standing in front of, but she had a feeling that he wanted her, and she didn’t like that.

“Ah, fuck, he’s a Necromancer,” Tucker said as he pulled out two pairs of electronic, metallic gauntlets, throwing a pair to Sam.

“Urbana, run to Hellboy and Danny,” Sam said as she put on the gloves.

A random ghost tried to grab Urbana, and Sam immediately punched it away.

“Are you sure?” Urbana asked, still feeling frozen to the spot.

Tucker body slammed her to the ground as the Box Ghost tried to package her. Sam punched him away.

“Go! Go! Go!” Tucker yelled at her as he pushed her back.

Urbana scrambled off of the ground and ran in the direction of the damaged stage. She found Danny and Hellboy, with Danny using his intangibility to help his Uncle fish out foreign objects from his body as he was bleeding profusely from his bigger wounds. Urbana went over to Hellboy, took off her shirt and used it to help stop the bleeding from a big hole in his left shoulder and right side of his abdomen. Urbana filled in the half-unconscious Hellboy, and Danny about what was up.

“Okay, then call Beetlejuice,” Danny said.

“What? No!” Urbana said.

“Right. Right.” Danny said realizing his mistake, “Then what about the Ghostbusters?”

“Do you have their contact information?”

Danny shook his head as Hellboy pulled a flip phone from one of his trench coat pockets. Danny immediately took the phone out of his Uncle’s grasp and looked through it, then used it.

While Danny was talking on the phone, Urbana turned her attention to Hellboy, “Oi, are you still awake?”

“Yep. Sorry. Just resting my eyes,” He mumbled.

“Don’t do that,” Urbana said, her voice high pitched with worry.

“I’ve lasted this long, I’m not about to die now,” Hellboy said, “How are you doing?”

“I may faint any minute now, but I just wish I had Steven’s healing powers,” Urbana said, then she realized that she could just call him over. After making sure that Hellboy had a good hold on the places that he needed to put pressure on, Urbana got out her cellphone, almost dropping it because of how slick with blood her hands were and called Steven up. She told him about what was going on and where they were and that he needed to bring in medical supplies as well as battle ready weapons.

Once Urbana hung up on Steven she said, “Steven and the Crystal Gems will be here within the hour.”

“That’s what the secretary said of the Ghostbusters,” Danny said.

As Urbana was reapplying pressure to Hellboy’s wounds they heard another explosion. Hellboy tried to get up but Urbana and Danny held him down.

“Don’t move, you’ve lost too much blood,” Danny told him.

“I need to get up. They can’t keep fighting on their own like this,” Hellboy said.

“They will just have to,” Danny said.

Urbana could see how much it pained him to say that and Urbana could see how guilty Hellboy looked. Urbana looked up to see a full moon shining above them.

“Hey! Heeeey! Man in the Moon! We need help! Please! Send the Guardians! Please!” Urbana called.

“Seriously? You’re calling on a fairytale man to save us?” Danny scoffed angrily.

“Have a little belief why don’t you,” Urbana argued.

“I believe the moon’s just a giant hunk of rock,” Danny said, “There’s nothing magical about it.”

Another explosion, and this time it was close enough to the three of them that it burned the destroyed stage and flung them backwards. Danny and Urbana got up quickly as they patted the on-fire parts of themselves away. The two of them looked for Hellboy who was trying to get up on his own and they immediately went over to him to put each of his arms over their shoulders. Urbana’s hearing was muffled, and she could feel herself starting to faint, but she tried to stay strong.

“Well, this won’t do,” a jolly sounding Russian man said.

Danny and Urbana turned around to see North with over three dozen yetis standing behind him.

“Santa!” Urbana cheered while Danny was staring at the old man in shock.

“Urbana good to see you. Too bad about the circumstances,” he said, “Here. Give him to me. We’ll be able to patch Hellboy up.”

Danny and Urbana handed Hellboy over to two yetis who had medical supplies.

“Are you guys going to be okay? It’s a cool night, but it’s still July,” Danny asked as he saw their thick fur coats.

“We’ll be fine,” North said, “just so you know Sandy and Toothiana are helping Goliath, Jake, and their friends evacuate the area. Jack Frost, Bunny, and I will be helping out in the battlefield.”

“Thank you for coming,” Urbana said, and Danny repeated.

“You asked for help. We weren’t about to ignore that,” North said as he patted her on the shoulder.

Then the man pulled out his sword that was hanging from his belt, and yelled, charge, in the direction of the fighting with his yetis following close behind him.

As they watched them run in, Danny asked, “What are we going to do now?”

Urbana grabbed his hand, then said, “We’ll face that Necromancer guy. Together.”

“What if one of us become trapped under his spell,” Danny asked, “I’ve been controlled before, and I’d rather not go through that again.”

“I know. I’m scared too, but that man goes against everything I even stand for,” Urbana said, “He’s controlling ghosts, Danny. He’s controlling people. The dead maybe dead, but they still deserve respect and I absolutely can’t stand that.”

Danny felt a surge of energy flow into himself. It made him feel stronger and braver. He felt like he could take on the world.

“Okay. Let’s help our friends,” Danny said, giving her back the same energy that he was receiving, making Urbana feel stronger and braver.

Urbana pulled out her saber blade fencing sword from her shoulder bag then yelled, “Let’s get that bastard!”

Danny flew up and forward as Urbana held tight to his hand. The two of them quickly spotted Sam and Tucker being overrun by the controlled ghosts. Urbana’s angry golden aurora held them back and Danny was shooting ghostly ice beams at them using his free hand.

“Sorry for taking so long,” Urbana said, “You think you two can last a little bit longer?”

“Tucker my left glove broke,” Sam said.

“Give it here,” Tucker said as he unzipped his backpack to put it away.

“I put the Fenton Bat in Urbana’s shoulder bag. Grab that,” Danny said as he blasted away Youngblood.

“When did you do that,” Urbana asked, while Sam dug through her shoulder bag.

“A while ago,” Danny answered.

Sam gave the Fenton Bat a few test swings, then said, “You two are going after the Necromancer guy, right?”

They both nodded.

Another fiery explosion resounded not far from the four of them.

“Then we’ve got your backs,” Tucker said as he punched his left gloved palm with his right gloved fist.

Urbana felt encouraged by their support and it made her powers stronger, giving Danny a jolt, and suddenly his left hand was alight with golden fire. He wasn’t in pain, he could make the flame as big or as small as he wanted, and it didn’t hurt anyone that was living.

Not having any time to really admire this new ability or figure it out altogether, Danny said, “Okay. We’ll learn as we go. Did you guys see the Necromance go anywhere?”

“I saw him go that way,” Sam said as she pointed past the flaming trees.

Urbana, Danny, and Tucker followed Sam through the fire, ice, and the fighting. Urbana saw Jim Lake Jr. fighting a man in a suit of green armor. The Easter Bunny and Liz were fighting a fiery thin person wearing a feathery bird skull on their head. Jack Frost and Abe were fighting a cloaked icy person wearing a long-horned cow skull on their head. Everywhere around them, were the undead, not just ghosts, but zombies, and ghouls and so on, with North and his yetis trying their best to fight against them.

The four of them found the Necromancer standing by himself as he watched the chaos. The human sized ice crystals were reflecting the fire’s light into his cold, dead-smiling face. He turned his head towards them, mechanically.

“Ah. I see you’ve managed to survive so far, and you’ve brought Ogdru Jahad another servant, sister,” the Necromancer guy said, “Well done.”

“Shut up,” Urbana said as she pointed her saber sword threateningly at him, “Let go of the dead!”

“No.”

Danny then shot him with his golden fire and a golden arura encircled him.

The four young adults were shocked.

“Mne ne udastsya tak legko pobedit' drugogo Mrachnogo Zhnetsa,” the Necromancer said.

Sam ran at him with the Fenton Bat aimed for his head. A black tentacle came out of his mouth, grabbed Sam around her neck, then slammed her to the ground, making her bounce with a sickening smack.

Anger. Pure and unbridled. Anger so intense that Urbana hadn’t felt it since she was a small child, her eyes, her hair, everything shined a radiant gold from her being, and so was Danny. Their emotional energy looping into each other, making each other stronger with how much they absolutely hated to see Sam treated like that.

Without hesitation, the two of them flew at the Necromancer. Their energy was matched with his and it was a stalemate of wills as their golden auras ground against each other. Danny was firing his golden fire at the Necromancer. Five more tentacles stretched out of the Necromancer’s mouth, making his head look like a deflating balloon. The tentacles slithered and danced like cobras ready to strike but before they could reach through the golden auras and fire, Tucker ran in and grabbed the tentacles into a headlock, his ghost gauntlets seemed to be short circuiting and Tucker looked like he was in a lot of pain, but he was holding them tight. Danny’s golden fire was burning through the Necromancer’s aura, but it didn’t seem to matter. The Necromancer was going to overwhelm them, but then Sam was standing behind him and brought the Fantom Bat down on his rib cage.

More tentacles came out of the Necromancer, but they looked panicked, reacting only to Sam’s pummeling of the Necromancer’s body as he crumpled to the earth. His golden aura dimmed and flashed until Danny’s golden fire burned through completely, making it disappear. The golden flames ingulfed the skin suit, if you can call it that, and the black tentacles. The tentacles shrieked and withered as Tucker struggled to hold it still while Sam walloped it to next Tuesday. The ground curdled as they continued to beat away the shell of a man and the monster within, the Earth itself rejecting whatever he or it was.

After some time, no one knows how long, they managed to burn, beat, slash, and strangle away the Necromancer. The four of them didn’t relax though. Not yet. They looked around themselves and saw that the ghosts were fleeing, the zombies were crumbling, and ghouls were disappearing and the people that Jim, Liz, Abe, North, Bunny, and Jack were fighting were retreating not just because their dead back up were escaping, but because Steven and the Crystal Gems, and the Ghostbusters had appeared and were taking initiative.

Urbana let go of Danny’s hand and the two of them collapsed to the ground with Danny transforming back into his living self. Sam and Tucker hobbled over to them and laid beside them.

“Oh, God. Is this how you feel when you use too much of your power,” Danny asked Urbana, feeling emotionally and physically drained and unable to move.

“Yep, but at least we’re still conscious,” Urbana said, her grip still tight on her sword.

“I think that bastard made me crack a few of my ribs and then I broke them beating him up,” Sam said.

“You’re not coughing up blood, are you,” Urbana asked.

“No. I don’t think so,” Sam said as she held Danny’s hand.

“Okay. Good,” Danny said.

“My hands hurt so much, I think I burnt them to my muscle,” Tucker said.

“No” Urbana lamented, “Not your hands. You’re an artisan with machinery.”

“Yah,” Tucker said just as sad, “I hope Steven can fix it.”  
“I’m sure he can,” Danny said.

“So. Do you think we killed him,” Sam asked.

“No,” Urbana said, “Things like whatever it is, they don’t just go away by a couple of young adults managing to beat it up. Whatever it is, it’ll be back and I’m sure we’re going to be on its blacklist.”

“Then we’ll just have to defeat it together again,” Tucker said.

“Yah,” the three of them agreed.

The four of them continued to talk with each other as they waited for someone to see them and help them. It wasn’t long until they were found by Amethyst and Jim. Amethyst turning into a gurney with feet as the wheels for Sam to lay in. Jim threw Urbana and Danny over each of his shoulders and Tucker followed them from behind since he could walk just fine.

Steven was able to heal Sam and Tucker effortlessly, but he couldn’t do anything to help heal Urbana and Danny who were both unable to move on their own. Urbana explained that they were just going to have to do normal sleep, eat nutritious food, drink plenty of water and have everyone send them their good vibes.

“Ugh, this sucks,” Danny said.

“Yep,” Urbana agreed, then she said, “Good night.”

Within a couple of minutes Urbana was fast asleep.

*translation – Bring me the dark skinned young lady.

\- You won’t be able to defeat a fellow Grim Reaper so easily.


	37. No Longer Ignorable

Urbana was sitting in the living room with Morticia, Gomez, Fester, and Grandmama watching the news with them. The news anchor was talking about last week’s attack in New York’s Central Park. About how much damage was done and the terrifying reveal of how humans aren’t alone on this earth anymore, but they weren’t talking about any aliens, instead they showed blurry photos and relatively clear videos of Goliath and his clan helping citizens to safety with Jake in his dragon from. They showed photos and videos of Abe and Liz and of Jim fighting the Arcane Order that Nari told them about and is presently hiding from. Currently, field reporters were interviewing citizens in New York and asking them how they feel about all this. One guy they watched being interviewed was wearing a camo-baseball hat and he had a gun slung over his shoulder as he talked about needing to protect his family from a zombie apocalypse.

As they watched, Urbana saw Lurch beckoning her over. Urbana got up and went towards him.

“It’s looking really bad on tv Lurch. Every day it seems more people are becoming panicked,” Urbana informed him.

Lurch placed a finger over his lips, asking her to stay silent.

Urbana gave him a questioning look.

Lurch then motioned for her to follow him.

Urbana followed him all the way to his room and he indicated for her to close it behind her.

Lurch’s room is one of the most immaculate rooms in the mansion, but it was filled to the brim with old 1930’s stuff. His furniture was Art Deco and he had posters of black and white photos of celebrities that Urbana didn’t recognize. There was an old-fashioned record player in one corner of his room with a hanging bookcase full of vinal discs. Urbana looked around his room while he rummaged through his nightstand draw. Soon Lurch pulled out a ring box, then showed her an engagement ring inside made with an emerald set-in silver.

Urbana gasped, then squeed in delight, then said, “You’re going to propose to my Aunt! That’s amazing. I’m so excited for you. When did you decided that you felt like you wanted to marry her?”

Lurch told her about how he loved Jane’s smile and how he loved her voice and how she makes him feel beautiful when he’s always felt very much like an ugly duckling.

“Oh. I had no idea you ever had those kinds of feelings Lurch… Uh, I love how your bow tie matches your eyes,” Urbana said.

Lurch closed the ring box and patted Urbana on her head with a tender smile on his face.

“Oooooh! We’ve got to plan the perfect place for you to propose to her for… When exactly are you planning on proposing?” Urban asked.

Lurch told her he was planning on asking her during the family reunion.

“We’ve got so much time,” Urbana said as she clapped her hands together excitedly, then she said, “Thanks for letting me in on the secret. I needed some good news in my life.”

Lurch gave her a thumbs up, then he placed the ring box back into his nightstand.

# # #

High school got out for the weekend and Urbana decided to pick up Pugsley and Wednesday from school so they could hang out. The three of them were talking about their respective homework that they were going to have to do while driving around town when they all spotted the mayor of Westfield addressing a rather angry crowd in front of the mayor’s office. A singular one-story building near the middle of the town. Urbana rolled down her window to listen.

“We don’t want a curfew!”

“What happened in New York could have been fake!”

“What happened in New York doesn’t affect us!”

“This is suppression!”

Urbana thought about how this reminded her of her American History classes.

The mayor addressed the crowd using a megaphone as she said, “Everyone please. This is only temporary. We have to think about the safety of our children and think about each other’s safety. Those monsters that we saw on the news could show up at any time to do what they’ve done to the citizens of New York. If half of you had actually come to the town meeting, you would all known that we are also creating a voluntary group of night patrols. I brought the sign-up sheet with me if any of you are interested.”

Urbana pulled out her phone and called Jim and told him what was up. After she hung up on Jim, Urbana was going to apologize to Wednesday and Pugsley for not being able to hang out outside the house longer when she noticed that neither one of them where in the back of her car. She looked back out her window to only see a passing image of Pugsley’s shirt disappearing into the crowd. Urbana quickly placed her car in park and got out of her car to go catch them before they did something to hurt themselves.

“Everyone please listen!” Wednesday called out to the crowd.

Urbana found Pugsley and Wednesday standing in front of the crowd beside the mayor.

Oh boy, Urbana thought as she pushed her way through the crowd.

“We know these are scary times,” Wednesday said, “but we can’t fall into the trap that these people, these new different people are only monsters.”

The crowd started to heckle Wednesday, telling the mayor to get the two rich goth kids off the stage. Urbana managed to get in front of the crowd at the same time she saw the mayor’s secretary start to put his hands on Pugsley and Wednesday. Urbana put her hands on the secretary’s shoulder and with her best glare, told him to let go of them. He immediately did so. Then Urbana stood behind Wednesday and Pugsley, legs apart, back straight, arms crossed over chest, and scowl of maximum intensity on her face. Half the town knew Urbana as the entertainer at The Witching Hour, but the other half of the town knew her very well as the bouncer who takes no shit from you at The Witching Hour. Pugsley and Wednesday looked at her. She gave the two teenagers a reassuring smile, then continued to stare down the crowd.

“I know each and everyone of you,” Pugsley said, “Mr. and Mrs. Langley who owns the Wheelbarrel. Mrs. and Mrs. Hart who owns The Witching Hour. All of the teachers who work at Westfield Grade School and High School. Mr. Gillicuddy who own’s the BookShop next to the Library, and so on. All of you have your own oddities and strangeness that any outsider could call monstrous, but each and every one of you are still people. People who deserve patience and understanding.”

“Just like these “monsters” deserve your patience and understanding,” Wednesday added, “We’re entering into something new, that’s frightening and mysterious, but together, together we can face it all. We can face it all like the proud, strong, kind, community that our family has cared about for generations.”

“We can do it! Right!?” Pugsley cheered.

Mrs. Dede Hart, Urbana’s employer, turned her attention to the mayor and said, “I’d like to sign up for the voluntary night patrols.”

More people echoed the woman’s statement.

The mayor handed out her clipboard to the crowd. A few people stuck around to ask how long exactly the curfew would last while the rest of the crowd calmly dispersed.

Urbana put her hand’s on Wednesday’s and Pugsley’s shoulders and said, “Hey. Well done you two. Now let’s go home.”

The three of them got back into Urbana’s car and they drove home and the three of them did their homework together.

# # #

It was Urbana’s turn to babysit Raven and Red and it was a school day for her, so she had to take them with her. Urbana was struggling to buckle up the twins into their car seats when she heard a car coming up the driveway. Urbana didn’t bother to look as she was focusing on the struggling babies. She managed to buckle in Red, who was in the process of trying to take his shoes off, when an unwanted synthetic voice greeted her.

Urbana sighed, looked over her shoulder at the red and yellow flame pained mustang car, then she turned her attention back to Raven and said, “What do you want Rodimus? I already explained to Ratchet and First Aid and Optimus why I can’t dilute pure Dark Energon and I’d rather not talk to you before I go to school. I like having a positive mind set on my way there.”

“Okay. Cool. You still haven’t warmed up to me. That’s fine. That’s fine,” then he mumbled, “Even though I am the coolest Autobot out of our group.”

“That’s debatable,” Urbana said as she finally managed to buckle in Raven. While she was forcing Red’s shoes back onto his feet, Urbana said, “Now tell me what you want or just go away already.”

“Okay. So I was thinking, Ratchet is having a hard time completing the synthetic Energon, and you can talk to the dead, so I was thinking that maybe you could summon our ancestors and ask them to tell you the formula so you can tell us,” Rodimus said.

Urbana sighed a painful sigh as she finally put Red’s shoes back on his feet. Then she looked at Rodimus and said, “There are several different reasons why your plan has a miniscule to no chance of actually working. One major reason it won’t work is because I’m not Cybertronian, being from the same planet, no matter how different you are, still very much matters. Like let me ask, and be real here, do you think, or do you know that your ancestors are xenophobic? Did they have problems with organics like myself?”

Rodimus’s tires shifted from side to side as he thought, then he said, “Most likely considering not all Autobots care about organics and Decepticons especially don’t care about anyone other than their own factions.”

“Then there’s the fact that you think I can just summon any dead people, but I can’t,” Urbana said, “To summon someone they have to of had some kind of close relationship with you and rituals from your home planet are important too… Do you guys have any kind of religious or spiritual way of speaking with your dead?”

“I mean, we do and did,” Rodimus said, “I was never much of a religious bot myself, and I don’t think anyone in our team is religious either…”

“So you want a complete stranger to connect with a weird little organic and have them tell their secrets to them just so they can then turn around and tell their secrets to the next bot that asks them to tell them, just to advance some kind of dumb war,” Urbana said.

“This war isn’t dumb,” Rodimus said, “We’re trying to do good and protect people from Decepticon rule.”

“Yah, well, the dead don’t care, Rodimus. The dead only care about themselves and the people who cared enough about them in their lives to remember and honor their memory,” Urbana said, “And I bet a thousand dollars that they don’t want anyone at all to know how to make synthetic Energon.”

“Why would the Ancients not want us to know how to make our own Energon,” Rodimus asked, “Energon is something that every bot needs and has a right to.”

“You guys said that one of the reasons why the war on your planet happened was because of a shortage of Energon, right?”

“Right,” he said.

“And those capsules of items and information that you guys have found half of, that were shot out into space, from your planet, to avoid Decepticons from using or having; one of those capsules was the formula for synthetic Energon, right?”

“Right? Urbana where are you going with this?” Rodimus asked.

“Why in the world, wouldn’t your Ancients or your government, or someone in power use that knowledge to immediately relieve the populous of that burden. Why did it take a fucking war for you guys to finally have any semblance of the formula to begin with?” Urbana asked.

Rodimus was stunned into silence as Urbana gave the twins one more look-over before closing the back door of her car on them. Urbana felt her phone starting to ring and when she took it out of her pocket, she saw that it was Jazz.

Before picking up her phone, Urbana said to Rodimus, “Stay safe on your drive back home. Though, I don’t know why you didn’t just Ground Bridge your way here.”

Urbana got into her car and picked up her phone. Rodimus watched her drive off while Urbana was listening to Jazz tell her that the President has publicly acknowledging the P.B.R.D. and was in the middle of a speech about what they’re going to do about what happened in New York.

# # #

Urbana, Morticia, Grandmama, Cactus Steven, and Pugsley were in New Trollmarket helping Blinky and the community volunteers, plant their underground garden.

“Put those two together,” Grandmama instructed two random trolls, “They’ll help each other grow.”

Grandmama caught Cactus Steven about to pour some potting soil into the wrong spot and she told him, “Oh! Not over here Sweetie. This is where we’re going to plant the Pleurocarpous. I want you to pour the soil in this corner where we’re going to plant Leucocoprinus birnbaumii over there.”

Cactus Steven nodded his spiney head and walked over to where Grandmama had directed him. Pugsley and Morticia then started spreading out the soil that he was pouring.

Urbana was spreading out moss onto some dead logs when Jim came over to have a look at the progress.

“It looks good,” he said, “And Grandmama said a lot of these plants can be used in potions, right?”

“Yep. How have you been?” Urbana asked.

“Tired. Doing night patrols on the surface as gotten a lot harder now that the town’s doing their own night patrols,” Jim said.

“Then maybe you should let us surface dwellers deal with surface night stuff on our own for a while. It’ll give you more time to focus on studying what Merlin gave you and Claire. Like I’m one hundred percent sure that, that man that you fought that night was the Green Knight from the stories,” Urbana said.

“But the Green Knight’s a fairy in the stories,” Jim said, “and if the Arcane Order is magically powerful enough to control a fairy then I’m pretty sure even Merlin won’t have a chance against them, for long at least.”

“I guess we just have to figure out what they want and then take measures to prevent it,” Urbana pondered aloud.

“We already are,” Jim said, “Nari told us that they need her help to open the Genesis Seals, which they have, so we’ll need to plan some sort of attack to take them back… We’re just not sure how to go about it just yet.”

“Oh, lovely… Why is it bad to open the Genesis Seals?” Urbana asked.

Jim explained to her how the Genesis Seals are what help keep the wilder and more dangerous aspects of magic in check and how if they are unsealed then the world, as it is, will be destroyed by its own unrestrained magic.

“I wonder if that’s why Rasputin is working with them, cause Hellboy has the key to unleash his own Armageddon… Ha!” Urbana laughed in realization.

“What! What is it?” Jim asked.

Laughing as she talked, Urbana said, “Hellboy’s Arm is the key, he can unlock Armageddon! Get it? **Arm**ageddon! Ha, ha, ha! I just realized a fantastic coincidence.”

Jim gave her a look like he couldn’t believe that he was younger that her.

“Oh, shut up, it’s funny. I’m going to text Danny, Hellboy and Scarlet the joke,” Urbana said as she took out her phone to do just that.

# # #

Urbana was up late in her bed after having done her homework and having drawn a few comic pages for her online comic. She was currently texting Scarlet.

Urbana: Where r u?

Scarlet: I’m in the States. Back from Port of Menteith in Scotland. A particularly nasty kelpie was killing off the locals and tourists at Lake of Menteith.

Urbana: Did you kill it, or did you capture it for it to go through judgement?

Scarlet: We managed to capture her and keep her in her humanoid form. She’ll be getting a trial, weather she likes it or not.

Scarlet: Did you hear about the news?  
Urbana: Yah. How do you feel about that?  
Scarlet: It feels weird. Like every one of us in the B.P.R.D. has a target on their back now, but I also feel kind of relieved. We don’t have to hide anymore. The higher-ups even sent me an Email telling me that I don’t have to stay in my human disguise anymore.

Scarlet: I don’t know how good it’ll be for us. People like us have been hiding for a long time and humans have been trying to ignore anything strange about this world since people like us have been hiding.

Urbana: I’m scared too and I’m sure this will be difficult, but I believe people will become more accepting once the shock is over with.

Scarlet: That’s going to take a couple of years if not longer. We may not have that kind of time.

Urbana: Maybe not, but I’m still going to hope.

Scarlet: Okay. Well, it’s time for me to board my ride to HQ. Good night. I love you.

Urbana stared at the last sentence. Hesitant to write anything back.

Urbana: Good night. I appreciate your love.

Urbana then quickly slammed her phone, screen down, onto her nightstand then buried her face into her Crying Spoon body pillow.

# # #

The sun had set an hour ago, and Urbana was helping Grandmama and Broadway set up the table in the kitchen while Gomez and Angela were feeding Hazel, Raven, and Red. Morticia was sitting beside Gomez while she was on the phone, having a conference call with Maddie and Hellboy; the three of them talking about their day and how much everything has changed in just a few weeks. Fester was out doing night patrol with his group that he was assigned to, and Lurch was in the living room with Wednesday and Pugsley, helping them with their homework.

Once Urbana had finished setting up the table, she felt her phone ring in her pocket. She took out her phone to see that Leo was calling her. Before picking up, Urbana walked out of the kitchen to stand in the entrance hallway.

“Hey, haven’t heard from you guys in forever. Where have you guys been?” Urbana asked.

“Never mind that. Have you seen the news?” Leo asked.

“You’re going to have to be a bit more specific,” she said.

“Do you have NY News on your channels,” Leo asked, sounding frustrated.

“I believe we do,” Urbana said as she made her way into the living room to turn on the tv.

Urbana flipped through the channels until she came upon the NY News Channel. They were recording live and were filming a man in front of a fancy tech like office building called Xanatos Tech. The man that was being filmed had long brown hair in a low ponytail and he was wearing a very fancy black suit. However, neither of these things weren’t as eye catching as seeing the giant, banged up looking, steel-blue and grey colored robot with an orange face and hands, with his left eye missing.

“Oh my God,” Urbana said as she, Lurch, Pugsley, and Wednesday watched the news.

“Is that a robot, like Miss Arcee,” Pugsley asked.

“Leo, what’s going on,” Urbana asked into her phone.

“Look, we’re as confused about it as you, but we’re pretty sure that the Foot resurrected Shredder by implanting him into that alien bot on tv because he spoke to the cameras not too long ago,” Leo said.

“Wait. You guys killed somebody,” Urbana asked.

“Yes… It was a bad situation,” Leo said, his voice strained from the bad memories, “but what happened while we were gone? We just got back from our yearly three-week long wilderness survival training to find New York completely topsy-turvy and a robot Shredder saying he was built to protect New York from evil doers.”

Urbana heard Don yell through the phone, “And the Foot have been stealing from Xanatos Tech more than any tech company in New York so it’s double suspicious that the voice of Shredder is coming from that bot that Xanatos says he designed himself to help protect the people.”

Urbana filled Leo in on what happened while they were gone. The news channel switched over to talking to New York’s Mayor and Police Chief, Captain Fanzone.

“I don’t know how to feel about the possibility of not having to hide anymore,” Leo said.

Urbana heard Mikey yell through the phone, “Are you kidding! It would be amazing!”

“What is your guy’s history with the Foot and this Shredder guy anyways,” Urbana asked.

The answer that Urbana got wasn’t what she thought it would be. Leo explained to her how Master Splinter and The Shredder use to date each other, but The Shredder was an abusive boyfriend to Master Splinter and it took the rat several years to finally leave him for the turtle’s mother. The boy’s mother was part of a long-standing ninja clan called the Hamato Clan. Their mother and her clan helped teach him to physically and mentally defend himself against the Shredder, who didn’t take kindly to the act of Master Splinter leaving him. In retaliation, The Shredder then joined the Foot Clan, a well-known rival to the Hamato Clan, and rose in the ranks before finally becoming the leader of the Foot Clan and organizing a surprise attacking on the Hamato Clan, killing everyone but Master Splinter and the four of them. Forcing the five of them to flee to America.

“That’s really fucked up,” Urbana said.

“Yes. Sensei thought it was best to not mince words on the matter when we were old enough to ask questions about our mother,” Leo said.

“So wait. How old were you guys when you got mutated?” Urbana asked.

“Master Splinter said that we were two years old when the five of us became mutated,” Leo said, “Me and Mikey don’t remember ever being human, but Don and Raph say that they remember having more than three fingers and toes.”

Grandmama and Broadway called out, telling everyone that dinner was ready.

“I’ll call up the Autobots later and I’ll tell them what you told me about that bot being Shredder. I’m sure we’ll be able to figure something out,” Urbana said.

“Thank you. See you around,” Leo said.

“Bye,” Urbana said, then they hung up on each other.

# # #

It was one of the first cold nights of August as Urbana was welcoming in everyone that was able to make it to the support group meeting.

Lily, the swamp-fish teenager, who lives in the Black Lake that’s on the Addams family property appeared first, with a deerskin shoulder bag hanging from her shoulder.

“Hey. You’re wearing the necklace Dad gave you,” Lily said, sluggishly.

“I do wear it sometimes. It is pretty,” Urbana said, then added, “You sound tired. Getting close to time for you and your family to hibernate?”

“No. I’ve just been staying up later than usual gathering items to make jewelry with Dad. I even brought some to sell this time after the meeting,” Lily said.

“Cool. Can’t wait to see it,” Urbana said as she gestured to the snack table.

The next person to show up was Sabrina, Wednesday and Pugsley’s first cousin once removed, and Salem the man cursed to be a black cat.

“It’s good to see you two again,” Urbana said, then asked, “How are you guys holding up?”

“I’m sad I can’t freak out drunkards in the street anymore by talking to them,” Salem said, “Now I don’t know what to do with my nights.”

“I’m a bit hopeful,” Sabrina said, “I want the world to know about us. It’s always so hard hiding magic and creatures like us and I hope we can be accepted.”

“That depends on what will happen next,” Urbana said as she offered a seat to the two of them.

The next people to show up was Jim, Claire, Toby, and Steve, along with a new friend of theirs. The new guy looked Latino with shoulder length brown hair, brown eyes, and light brown skin. He looked about sixteen or seventeen years old, the youngest of his peers within the Trollhunter group of kids. He was wearing blue jeans and a cute graphic shirt that said, “I am an Alien”, with a little green Martian Man sitting in the little A-hole of the word alien.

Urbana greeted them inside and was about to ask Jim if he had any trouble getting here, when the new kid grabbed her by the shoulders and said, “Steve told me that you can talk to the dead! Can you see Mama and Papa?”

Urbana turned to Steve and glared at him, saying, “Steve! What the heck!”

Rubbing the back of his neck, Steve said, “I know. I know. It’s just. Their parent’s death anniversary was last week, and they’ve been dead for two years and Aja and Krel just miss them so much.”

Urbana sighed while she embraced the teenager, “No. I don’t see your parents. I’m sorry you lost them. We can talk more after the support group meeting is over. Okay?”

Krel hugged her back, then nodded.

“Now, go drown your sorrows with food,” Urbana said as she directed the alien boy in disguise to the snack table where Pugsley and Sabrina were talking to each other.

Soon the Manhattan Clan showed up with Claw in their group along with Jake, Haley, Spud, Trixie, Melody, and Rose. It was the Turtle boy’s turn to stay in New York to keep an eye on things and everyone was enjoying being able to see each other and talk with each other normally. Once they settled down, Steven, Amethyst, Lapis, and Peridot appeared, with the four of them splitting up to catch up with people they don’t get to talk with often.

The final people to show up were Miko, Raf, Jack, and Sari.

“Thank you for coming you four,” Urbana said as she let them in.

“Are you kidding! I didn’t want to miss this for anything,” Miko said, then she saw Claw and gasped, then immediately went up to the giant tiger man. She started chatting Claw’s ears off with her bullet speed questions.

Urbana quickly went over to Claw’s rescue and covered Miko’s mouth.

“Woah. Easy, Sister,” Urbana said as Claw put his clawed hands on her shoulders and hid his massive body behind her, “You’ve got to slow down. Claw here is selectively mute. You need to speak softly, calmly, and give him yes or no questions for him to interact with you.”

“Ah, what?! Boo!” Miko said after removing Urbana’s hand from her mouth.

In response Urbana karate chopped Miko on the head and said, “Don’t be rude. Let me introduce you to someone else who’s a little bit more your speed. Melody! Come over here!”

The blond, white girl, with a giddy smile on her face skipped on over to the three of them.

“Miko. Melody. Melody. Miko,” Urbana introduce the two of them together, then said, “Miko here is a Wreaker. And Melody helps protect magical beings with her twin sister.”

“Wow. Really,” Miko asked.

“Yah. It’s hard but I love it. What’s a Wreaker?” Melody asked.

“Oh, I’m so happy you asked,” Miko said.

Soon the two teenage girls were chatting with each other at breakneck speeds, both of them trying to get in as much conversation to each other as possible.

Urbana then turned her attention to the giant tiger man.

“Hey. Are you okay?”

Claw nodded his head yes.

“Do you need any more help,” she asked.

He shook his head no.

“Alright then. Have fun listening in on everyone’s conversations,” Urbana said as she patted his clawed hand, “I’ve got some more work to do.”

He let go of her shoulders and Urbana went over to Raf, Sari, and Jack.

“Sari. Raf. I know the perfect people for you two to talk to,” Urbana said as she grabbed the two of them by their hands. Urbana then brought them over to Steven and Peridot.

“Urbana,” Steven greeted happily, “I’m glad you’re doing well. How’s therapy treating you?”

“It’s a little weird, but I think it’s going well,” she said as she let go of Raf and Sari.

Steven nodded his head in understanding, remembering what his first few weeks in therapy were like for him.

“Steven, I’d like you to meet, Sari. She’s part human part cybertronian, like how you’re part gem and part human,” Urbana said.

“What’s a cybertronian,” Steven asked.

“A race of living machines, capable of being able to transform into vehicles, animals, and other things like a giant USB Stick,” Sari said, then asked, “What’s a gem?”

“A race of intelligent rocks with solid hologram bodies, capable of melding our bodies together called fusion, manifesting two people’s relationship into a new person,” Steven said.

“That’s really cool and you can do that,” Sari asked.

“Yah,” Steven said, “Can you do any transformation’s?”

Sari took a deep breath, then a jet pack unfolded from her back.

Starry eyed, Steven said, “That is so cool!”

While those two talked Urbana introduced Raf to Peridot.

“Raf, Peridot here is the Botanist/Tech wiz of the Crystal Gems. She’s actually won several rewards for discovering new and improved ways of farming for mass production and inventing eco-friendly tools,” Urbana said, then to Peridot she added, “And Peridot, Raf here is one of the smartest fourteen-year-old’s I have seen in a while. He’s learned basic Cybertronian. He knows how to code in cybertronian and coding in general. And he knows how to get rid of photos on the Internet.”

“Wow, really,” Peridot said.

“Yah,” Raph said while playing with his shirt nervously.

“That is so cool,” she said, eyes beaming, “Earth’s Internet has always stumped me. Do you think you could tell me what you do?”

“Sure.”

Urbana left the four of them be. Then passing Goliath who was currently playing with his granddaughter Hazel, Urbana went back to Jack.

“Hey, uh, is Cliff here,” Jack asked, standing in a lone corner of the living room.

“No. Why?” Urbana asked.

“I don’t know. I just feel nervous being around so many strangers. Especially strangers who are a thing that I didn’t really know was a thing,” Jack said.

Urbana followed his gaze to see that he was staring at Thing and Gizmo playing with each other.

“Oh, yah. I know what you mean. Come on. I have someone I want you to talk with,” Urbana said as the two of them walked up to Brooklyn.

“Hey Urbana,” Brooklyn greeted, “Thanks for getting that new muffler for me, for Lex to install. She purrs like a kitten now.”

“Good to hear,” Urbana said, then she stepped aside and said, “This is Jack. He likes motorcycles too and his motorcycle can turn into a giant robot lady.”

“Whoa! Really,” Brooklyn asked.

“Yah. Her name’s Arcee. She’s my best friend,” Jack said.

“Can you do any cool tricks on your bike?” the red gargoyle asked.

“Arcee does most of the cool tricks, but yes,” Jack said, then asked, “What about you?”

“I just mastered the Pommel Horse,” Brooklyn said as he was taking his phone out of his leather pouch hanging from his belt, “I had Lex film it for me.”

Jack leaned in to watch Brooklyn’s balancing act on his motorcycle and Urbana let them be.

While everyone was talking amongst themselves, Urbana gathered her notes that she’s been keeping so that she can remember what was talked about the last time they gathered together. After looking through the notes, she called everyone over to sit in the circle. Wednesday sat on her left and Claw sat on her right.

Once Everyone was seated, Urbana said, “Alright everyone. We have five new visitors among us. They will all introduce themselves to the group first and then we’ll continue the conversation from the last meeting. Krel. How about you go first.”

The meeting went well and as Urbana promised, Urbana talked with Krel. The two of them sat in the dark on the front door’s stoop, outside.

“Alright Krel. Do you speak with your parents often?” she asked.

“Uh, no? They’re dead,” Krel said, “If you can’t see them at all. Then that just means they’re really gone forever.”

Urbana back handed him against his shoulder. It didn’t hurt him, but it did surprise him.

“Don’t talk like that,” Urbana said, sounding miffed, but then she took a deep breath then said in an even tone, “Look. It’s true that not everyone has the “gift” of being able to see ghosts, but that doesn’t mean that it’s meaningless to speak with the dead. Do you have any kind of rituals that you preform for your dead relatives?”

“No. What would be the point of it?” Krel asked, then said, “Like you said, I can’t speak with ghosts and neither can Aja.”

“That is _not_ what I said,” Urbana said deadpanned, then she sighed, then said, “We’re going to do a little exercise.”

“Oh… Um. I’m not the most athletic person on Earth or on Akiridion-5,” Krel said.

“That’s fine,” Urbana said, then asked, “Do you have any photos of your parents?”

Krel fiddled with his watch then a hologram photo lit up the dark night, showing a photo of four people with blue skin and electric blue hair, wearing dark blue skintight suits, and all of them have four arms. The song, _Blue (Da Ba Dee)_, started playing in Urbana’s head, but she immediately squished it silent as she spoke.

“Your parents look like very nice people,” she said.

“They were,” Krel said.

“So, what I want you to do is look at your parent’s photo and tell them what you’ve been up to,” Urbana said.

Krel was silent for a long moment, then asked, “What should I even say?”  
“Oh. It doesn’t matter,” Urbana said, “I’ll give you an example,” Urbana then looked at the hologram photo and said, “Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Krel’s parents. I’m Urbana. Nice to meet you. So for the upcoming family reunion my dead mother and I have been practicing the only Jazz song I know how to sing for us to preform together. We practice every month and it’s been fun practicing music with my Mom again. Also, I ate a gooseberry pie for the first time. I wasn’t a big fan.”

Urbana then put an arm around Krel’s shoulders and motioned for him to say something.

“Uh, I improved my boom box that I got from Stuart. If I have the volume halfway up almost the whole neighborhood can hear it,” Krel said, “…Are they here?”

Urbana looked around themselves to make sure, but she knew they weren’t going to just show up after a little bit of talking.

“No. They’re not here,” Urbana said.

Krel sighed, sounding frustrated.

“Look. You’re a tech inventor, right,” Urbana asked.

Krel snorted, then said with a sad smile, “That’s a simple way to describe it.”

“Well. When you first invent something, does it work on the first time you build it,” Urbana asked.

“No? Of course not. There’s a lot of trial and error and note taking and scrapping whole swathes of ideas that seemed like a solution but didn’t work out, so you have to try a completely different way to get to the desired outcome,” Krel said.

“I need you to keep that kind of mindset while you are speaking with your parents,” Urbana said, “Speaking with the dead isn’t easy, especially if you’re not use to it. I want you to try speaking with the photo of your parents as often as you can. I want you to speak with your sister and any other relatives that you have and share stories with each other about your parents. Even though they are dead, it’s important to keep speaking with your parents as if they are alive. Okay?”

“This is like an experiment,” Krel said.

“Yah! Exactly,” Urbana agreed, then she said, “So let’s meet up again in, oh, about three months’ time. Then I’ll see if any progress has been made. Okay?”

“Yah. I think I can do that,” Krel said.

The Trollhunters team was the last group to leave and the five of them walked through a dark magic portal that Claire made, taking them all back home. Wednesday and Pugsley helped Urbana clean up the mess in the living room.

# # #

The new moon was hiding, allowing the stars to shine bright upon the quiet, cool night. Urbana was riding on Licorice as the two of them were racing along on treetops and sleeping people’s rooftops. Urbana and Licorice were enjoying the feeling of the cool wind on their faces as Licorice ran even faster, the Nightmare’s sliver mane and tail streaking behind them like beams of moonlight.

Soon, the two of them saw streaks of golden sand snaking over a small town that Urbana didn’t recognize. They followed the flowing golden sand to its source.

“Hey Sandy,” Urbana respectfully whispered, “How have you been, Cuz?”

An emoji image of a smile-y face appeared over Sandman’s head.

“Oh, wow. Really?” Urbana said under her breath in surprise, “What’s making you so happy?”

Sandman made an outline picture of Pitch then crossed him out.

“Oh, God! Pitch is Dead,” Urbana shouted in surprise.

Sandman shook his head vigorously, then a question mark appeared over his head.

“Oh,” Urbana said, being quieter, “You just haven’t seen him in a while?”

He nodded his golden little head.

“Aren’t you worried?” Urbana asked.

Sandman gave Urbana a look that said, are-you-kidding-me-why-would-I-care-about-that-asshole?

“Look, I think he’s an asshole too, but I just think that has something to do with his idea of how he thinks he has to present himself, since you know, he’s the embodiment of fear,” Urbana whispered.

Sandman then painstakingly explained to Urbana how Pitch killed every member of Bunnymund’s family, leaving him the only one of his kind. Sandman also explained how that’s not the only horrible thing he’s done.

“Oh… I had no idea…” Urbana said, “I’m sorry. I won’t bring him up to you guys anymore and I won’t ask you to help me find him. I’ll leave you to your work now. Let’s go Licorice.”

Sandman tried to stop her, but Licorice moved too fast for him.

Once the Sandman’s golden sand was out of sight, Urbana asked Licorice, “Do you think you can find him?”

Licorice gave a confident whinny then made a sharp left turn and ran at exceptional speeds, so much so that Urbana had to lay as flat on Licorice’s back as she could to keep herself from flying backwards off her back. Soon the two of them were floating down into a nowhere timber area. Urbana could see between the shadows and the star light that there was an abandoned bed that looked nasty with weeds and dirt coming out of it. It looked a lot like the bed she saw in Pitch’s mindscape. Urbana hopped off Licorice’s back then awkwardly walked up to the rotting bed.

Urbana knocked on the bed’s padding and said, “Knock. Knock?”

“What do you what? Came here to gloat or something?” Pitch said, his voice coming from underneath the rotten bed.

“No? I’m just worried. I spoke with Sandy not long ago and he said he hasn’t seen you in a while and it made me realize that I haven’t been having any kind of nightmares at all myself. So, are you okay?” Urbana asked.

He was silent.

“Why did you think I came here to gloat?” Urbana asked him.

“You convinced me to let you wake up from your coma, even after I told you I would never do it,” Pitch said, sounding like it pained him to even acknowledge it.

Urbana looked at the bed in confusion, then said, “I didn’t convince you to do shit, sir. I remember thanking you for helping me realize that I wasn’t taking care of myself as well as I should and then I woke up.”

“Shut up! Don’t remind me,” Pitch said.

Urbana sat in the dead grass surrounding the decaying bed and leaned her back against it.

“Sandy told me how you killed Mr. Easter Bunny’s family. Why did you do that?” Urbana asked.

“Because I’m evil. Because I’m a monster. Because that’s what I wanted to do,” Pitch said cruelly, but Urbana thought she could hear a twinge of sadness in his voice too.

“Do you regret it?” Urbana asked.

Pitch was silent for a long time before he said, “No.”

Urbana then stood up, dusted off her backside, then said, “Then I’m never going to try speaking with you ever again.”

As Urbana was walking towards Licorice, Pitch called out, asking, “What was the point of all this? You’ve always known I’m a monster.”

“No, I didn’t Pitch. I knew you as a creature who had the job of being a scary person. I thought a lot of things, but I didn’t think of you as a monster. So, congratulations, Pitch. I think of you as a monster now, “Urbana said as she hopped onto Licorice’s back, then said, “Be sure to take care of yourself, because now you officially have no one who cares about you anymore. Good night.”

Licorice jumped into the air and galloped Urbana back home, leaving Pitch alone.


	38. Confrontations

Urbana was in her room trying to do her homework, but instead she was obsessing over her regrets. As she was twiddling away on her pencil, she heard someone knocking on her window. She checked to make sure that it wasn’t Gizmo, but since he was currently looking through one of her manga books, Urbana got up from her bed then pulled back the curtain of her bedroom window. Shadowed by the setting sun, Jack Frost waved at Urbana through the window, snow falling all round him. Urbana opened her window.

“Snow? In September?” Urbana asked him playfully.

“What? Are you really going to complain about snow?” Jack asked.

Urbana motioned him inside and said, “No. Of course not. Just it seems a little early?”

Jack flew in and Urbana closed the window behind him. Jack then sat his staff next to the window.

“Yah, but that’s the fun of it. It won’t stick around long, but the kids will love it,” Jack said.

“So, it’s like a test run of what winter will be for us then, huh?” Urbana asked.

“Pretty much, yah,” Jack said as he flew over to Gizmo then patted him on his furry little head. Then he went over to Urbana’s bed to see what she was working on, “Did you just start your schoolwork?”

Urbana sighed then said, “No. I’ve been working on it for two hours now…”

Jack looked at her then back down at her work then back up at her, then said, “I don’t know much about schoolwork, but it kind of looks like you haven’t done anything. Should I ask if something’s bothering you?”

She sighed again then said, “I don’t know if you really want to have that kind of conversation.”

“Try me. I can be “mature” when I have to be,” Jack said as he floated backwards like he was laying in a hammock.

Urbana hesitated for a moment, then said, “I feel bad about what I said to Pitch before I stopped talking to him. And also I feel bad for not saying the L-word to Scarlet when they told me it and I haven’t been able to properly talk to them in weeks but I think that one’s a little out of your depth.”

“You’re right. It is, but first, will you stop hanging out with Pitch. Second, what did you say to him before you stopped hanging out with him?” Jack asked.

“Um. Something about wishing him luck since he has no one to care about him or something along those lines. I don’t exactly remember, okay? Verbal confrontations make my adrenaline go up and I spoke before I could think,” Urbana said.

“Eh. Don’t worry too much about it then. What you said is true,” Jack said with an indifferent shrug, “No one does care about him.”

Hearing that broke Urbana’s heart.

“That’s awful,” Urbana said as she choked back tears.

Panicked, Jack said, “He’s a horrible person! Why are you getting so upset about this? Why do you care? He. Put. You. In a. Coma!”

“Look. I know. Okay,” Urbana said as she wiped away a few unrestrained tears from her face, “But I can’t help but relate to him, you know?”

“You relate to Pitch,” Jack asked, unbelieving, “Why?”

“Being able to speak with the dead is a terrifying concept,” Urbana said, “If I was in a Steven King book, I’d be the cursed child standing in the middle of a foggy wood telling people of their omens. I don’t want to be scary, but I know that what I am can be.”

“Huh…” Was all Jack could say.

“Then there’s the fact that when I finally, officially, die, I’ll become a Grim Reaper. An embodiment of death and of the unknown… whether I want to be or not. And so many people are afraid of dying because they don’t know what the end of their life will bring them,” Urbana said.

“Oh,” He said sympathetically.

“Yah,” Urbana said, “But don’t worry. I’m determined not to speak with him again, but I do want to apologize for saying no one cares about him.”

The two of them were silent for a minute. Jack rubbed the back of his neck then scratched his head furiously as he groaned. Urbana gave him a concerned look.

Reluctantly, he said, “If you write a letter to him… I’ll make sure it’s given to him. Okay?”

“Wait. Really?” Urbana questioned hopefully.

“Yah,” he groaned.

Urbana hugged Jack Frost, chilling herself to the bone but not caring.

“Jack. You’re too good to me,” Urbana said, then she stopped hugging him and said, “Thank you. Now! I write!”

Urbana wrote her apology letter and also set down some ground rules for if he wants to speak with her again. The rules being he can’t come see her until he’s apologized to everyone he can remember ever wronging. Telling him that it’s important to apologize and not expect to have that apology accepted. She also made sure to point out that she’s not talking about him giving kids nightmares or anything like that, since she understands that, that’s just a part of his job. Urbana doesn’t really expect Pitch to go around asking for forgiveness for his actions, but she has a little hope that he might, even if she’s dead by the time he decides to take action on that quest.

Urbana handed the letter to Jack Frost and said, “Here. Let me call Licorice for you so she can guide you to Pitch.”

Urbana opened her window, letting in the cold early night, and whistled for the Nightmare.

As the two of them waited for her to show up Urbana said, “You know, if Pitch wasn’t such a jerk, I’m sure you two would have gotten along just fine.”

Jack groaned as he sat on top of his staff, “Nooooooo. You sound just like him when he was trying to recruit me before I became a Guardian.”

“He tried to get you to join him?” Urbana questioned as she picked up Gizmo who was pulling at her pants leg.

“Yah. Some spiel about making the world suffer like it’s made us suffer,” Jack said, “I wasn’t buying it though.”

Licorice galloped up to her window and as Urbana greeted her with pets and kisses, Urbana said, “Sounds to me like he’s lonely.”

“No. He was just trying to manipulate me,” Jack said as he hopped down from his staff and then patted Licorice’s neck.

“Well, I mean, you are right, but it still sounds like he was lonely too,” Urbana said.

He scoffed unconvinced.

Urbana gave him a sympathetic smile. Then she said, “Stay safe on your ride there. Just ask her to take you where you want to go and be sure to be polite.”

Jack Frost flew out the window then sat on Licorice’s back then said, “Uh, will you take me to Pitch, please?”

Licorice neighed then galloped off into the night towards Pitch’s hideout.

Urbana closed her window with a sigh. Then snuggled against Gizmo’s soft fur, comforted by the idea that her words might be mitigated. Though she wouldn’t be surprised if Pitch decided not to take her letter at all. Urbana looked over her homework with a little bit more focus and noticed that she had to write a short story for her Advanced Fiction Writing class. Urbana decided to write a short story about Jack Frost as thanks to him.

# # #

Urben, the fusion of Steven and Urbana, was helping Lurch set up the perfect place for him to propose to Jane. They had their giant rose gold paint brush out and they were painting items into the empty space of reality like they were photo shopping the real world. Helping Lurch with his planning was Garnet who was helping him figure out the best placement for decorations, items, and where the proposal should happen. The three of them were by the black lake, as Lurch had decided that it was the best place to propose to Jane.

“What do you think of this small dining table, Lurch,” Urben asked, “Is it romantic enough?”

The rose gold table had rose gold candelabras lit over rose gold silverware and plates and rose gold soup and wine.

“Are you doing the engagement ring in the wine glass trick,” Garnet asked him.

Lurch nodded. Telling them he thought Jane would love the surprise gesture.

“We can commission Bismuth to make these items for you and we know Grandmama will be happy to make your engagement dinner,” Urben said, all six of their eyes shining as they asked, “What kind of flowers should I make? What are Jane’s favorite flowers?”

Lurch told them that he didn’t know what her favorite flowers were but he knew that she loved the colors blue and orange so he thought any flowers with those colors would do fine.

“Okay. Then I’m thinking I’ll grow marigolds, blue morning glories, and moon flowers to accent the other two,” Urben said as they started planning out where around the dining area, they will put the plants.

As Garnet was asking some more follow-up questions about the event, one of the phones in Urben’s pockets started ringing. Urben took out Steven’s phone from their left pocket and answered it with a little bit of difficulty since the phone was so small in their hands.

“Hello?”

“Steven?” Connie asked.

“Oh! No. This is Urben. Hey Connie. It’s good to hear from you. Do you need to speak with Steven alone?” They asked.

“Yes please,” Connie said.

“Okay. Give me a second. I’m setting the phone down,” Urben said before doing just that.

Once Urben unfused, the rose gold paintings vanished, and Steven picked up his phone and walked away from the group while Urbana walked towards Garnet and Lurch, zipping up her jacket to help keep out the cold. Urbana decided to take this time to asked Garnet for some advice/support.

While staring at the melting snow around them, Urbana asked Garnet, “Hey. Can I have some of your advice?”

“I don’t see why not. What advice to you need?” Garnet asked.

“Relationship advice,” Urbana mumbled out.

“You’re dating someone?” Garnet questioned while Lurch looked at Urbana in surprise.

“Yah.”

Garnet slapped Urbana hard on her back, then said with pride, “Look at you, trying new things! I’m happy for you. Of course, I’ll give you my advice. What’s your question?”

“Will you help me text Scarlet? I think I know what I should do but I need a little moral support,” Urbana finally said after regaining her footing from that back slap.

Lurch grabbed her by the shoulders then shook her thoroughly, helping her get rid of her nerves. Making Urbana laugh.

“Thanks Lurch,” Urbana said with a smile. Then she got out her phone and proceeded to text Scarlet.

Garnet and Lurch watched over Urbana as she texted Scarlet and brought up the time that they told her that they loved her. With Urbana having Garnet look over her texts to make sure she wasn’t sounding mean or anything, Urbana explained to Scarlet that she really does appreciate their I-love-you’s, but that she honestly wasn’t ever expecting them to say it to her. When Scarlet asked why, Lurch and Garnet were curious too. Urbana explained that since she kind of views this relationship more as a friends with benefits thing than a full on out romantic relationship, she was both surprised and sad that they told her that they loved them. Urbana explained that it makes her sad because the best I-love-you that she can give back is a friendly version not a romantic one.

While they were waiting for Scarlet’s answer Garnet said, “You know. There’s nothing wrong with saying friendly I-love-yous. They’re just as important as the family and romantic versions.”

“I know, but is that what they need? This whole dating thing is very experimental,” Urbana said.

Lurch patted her head as Garnet said with a small smile, “As most relationships are.”

“Honestly I feel bad for taking so long to talk to them about it,” Urbana said.

Urbana’s phone buzzed as she received a text.

Scarlet: Do you want me to not tell you that I love you anymore?

Urbana: I’m bringing this up because I worry about you. If I tell you that I love you, it won’t mean the same as your I love you. I don’t want to be a liar to you about this.

Urbana: You can tell me that you love me all you want, if you want.

Scarlet: It’ll make you sad though.

Urbana: Only a little. Sadness is happiness’s next-door neighbor.

Urbana: I’ll be sad that I can’t meet your expectations but I’m happy that we’re at that level of familiarity.

Scarlet: I’ll be fine if you tell me that you only love me as a friend.

Urbana: Really?

Scarlet: I promise.

Urbana: Then I love you too.

Scarlet: I appreciate your love ;)

Urbana smiled at her phone as she said goodbye to Scarlet and wished her luck at work with Scarlet saying the same to her.

Urbana then turned to Garnet and Lurch and said, “Thanks for being my moral support guys. I felt really embarrassed asking for your guy’s help.”

“We were happy to help,” Garnet said with Lurch nodding in agreement.

“Man. Steven and Connie sure are taking a long time to talk, huh,” Urbana said.

Five more minutes pass while the three of them were talking about the weather and school when Steven walked towards them.

“Garnet. I’m sorry. I know you rode here with me, but I need to go, somewhere, by myself,” Steven said, sounding exhausted.

The three of them looked between each other sensing something was wrong.

“That’s fine. I want to talk longer with Lurch about his wedding plans if Jane accepts his proposal,” she said.

“I’ll walk you to your car,” Urbana said as she ran up to him.

As they were heading for Steven’s car, Urbana had to jog to keep up to Steven’s brisk walk.

“Soooo,” Urbana said, “Do you want me to ask what happened or are you saving this for your therapist?”

“I mean. A little bit of both,” Steven said, looking a little pink around the gills, “I want to talk to you about it, but I also don’t want to talk to you about it and maybe I should save it for my next visit to my therapist. I just don’t know.”

“Okay….” Then Urbana shoved him and said, “Race you to your car!” Then she bolted for his car as fast as she could.

Urbana didn’t dare look back to see if he was chasing after her. She’s never won a race against him and she’ll be damned if she let him obsess over what the phone call was about before driving “somewhere”. Driving upset is bad luck in her opinion.

Steven tapped Urbana on her shoulder as he effortlessly was keeping up with her. A smug smile on his face. Then he ran past her, looking like he wasn’t even breaking a sweat. Beating Urbana to his car by a mile. When Urbana finally reached his car, she slammed her hand on the hood while breathing heavily.

“Show off,” Urbana said with a smile.

Steven smiled back at her but then it was gone.

“I’ll talk to you about it later,” Steven said as he got into his car.

“Okay. Drive safe.” Then Urbana watch him drive off.

# # #

Urbana was in New York’s China Town, waiting for Jake Long to meet up with her. Jake called her not too long ago saying that a magical buddy of his was having ghost problems. Urbana just hoped that she was in the right place, cause even with a GPS it’s still a dizzying place to be in, especially when most of the signs aren’t in English.

Half an hour after Urbana got to the place, she thought she was supposed to be at, Jake showed up.

“Hey, Girl! What’s happenin’,” Jake greeted, extended a hand to do a fancy handshake with Urbana.

Urbana floundered with the fancy handshake, but greeted him happily, saying, “Oh, you know. Helping Jim with his night patrol when it’s my turn to patrol with the townsfolk and so on. How about you?”

Jake motioned for her to follow him as he said, “That giant ass robot that’s roaming our streets has been a pain. He knows our kind too well and it’s giving the magical community a constant panic attack. I thought life would be easier when the Huntsmen Clan collapsed, but noooo!”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Urbana said, “We’re trying to figure out a good plan to get rid of him. It’s just been hard, considering everything.”

Jake sigh, then said, “Yah.”

As they were walking down a back alley, Urbana asked, “So what exactly is the ghost problem that required my help and not the Ghostbusters?”

“You can actually talk to ghosts, they can’t. They’re all guns blazing and tearing shit up, which can be cool, but I don’t want this guy’s home getting any more torn up than it already is by this ghost or ghosts… Besides, you’re free.”

“Hold it,” Urbana said as she put a hand on his shoulder, “Who said I was going to do this for free.”

Jake sucked air through his teeth, then said, “Um… How much do you want?”

“I’ll think of something else if it makes you too uncomfortable,” Urbana started to say, prompting Jake to look at her questioningly, “but can I take pictures of you in your dragon form?”

“That’s it?”

“Yes. I didn’t have the heart to ask you when you were living with us,” Urbana said.

“Okay. I can do that,” Jake said, then added with a smug smile, “I have multiple good sides. Just so you know.”

Urbana let go of him and did a fist pump is celebration, excited to have some reference photos for her fantasy art kick.

Urbana followed Jake through a series of back alleyways that was the walking distance of ten blocks. Eventually they came to a perceived dead end.

“Hold on. I always have a hard time figuring out which thing to knock on,” Jake said after staring at the dead-end wall for thirty seconds.

Jake walked up to a particular part of the concrete wall then knocked on it. It sounded like he was knocking on a wooden door. They waited for a minute then a small, rounded door opened that was at the height of Urbana’s waist. A little head poked out from behind the door. He was half the size of the doorway with curly platinum blond hair, chubby little cheeks and ears that were pointed but not as drastically pointy as the illustrations of elves that she’s seen in Grandmama’s books that she’s read. With the door open they could hear the sounds of Spud, Trixie, and Melody shouting and things breaking or banging noisily against hard surfaces.

“You’re a hobbit!” Urbana said with glee and excitement.

“Yes, and you’re a human,” He replied with annoyance.

Urbana looked down at her hands as she played with her fingers as the hobbit spoke with Jake.

“Are you sure she’s the best candidate for my problem? Couldn’t you just get a Witch to come here to banish the ghost or something,” the hobbit said.

“I promise, Mr. Nikau, Urbana is completely competent in her handling with ghosts,” Jake said, “Dragon’s honor.”

Urbana wasn’t so sure about that, but she stayed quiet as Mr. Nikau scrutinized her.

There was the sound of a large glass item crashing to the ground and Spud loudly said he was sorry that he didn’t catch it in time.

Mr. Nikau sighed then said, “Alright. Get in here.”

The two of them had to bend down low to walk through the front door. Jake could stand tall inside the hobbit’s house with only his hair grazing the ceiling while Urbana had to bend her neck awkwardly to keep herself from touching the ceiling at all. The hobbit’s home was a mess, looking like he was in the middle of moving into this house, with several cardboard boxes stacked against walls and furniture arranged for better mobility and not for any aesthetic reason. Melody was sweeping up glass while Spud and Trixie were catching anything that was being thrown into the air. Urbana could see that the ghost was also a hobbit. She was wearing old warn out clothes and with each item that she threw she would call out for someone named, Tama, and when she wasn’t throwing things she would scream into the void, calling for anyone to help her find her baby.

“Oh, boy,” Urbana said.

“What,” Jake asked.

“This is one of those tragedy ghosts,” Urbana sighed sadly, “Give me a minute.”

Urbana walked up to the poor woman as she was in the middle of throwing things around again.

“Ma’am. Ma’am,” Urbana said, trying to sound like a calm and reassuring person, “Ma’am. Can you hear me?” Urbana then placed a hand on her shoulder.

The hobbit woman gasped in surprise and turned on Urbana.

“You’re a human,” she said, her back against the wall in fright.

“That I am,” Urbana said as she knelt on her knees, “I heard your cries for help, and I’d like to help. Will you accept my help?”

The hobbit woman looked around at a scene that only she could see, tears of ectoplasm streaming down her face.

“I’m Urbana. What’s your name?” she asked.

“Maia,” she said.

“I’m sorry we’re meeting at such hard times. Who are you looking for?” Urbana asked her.

“I’m searching for my son, Tama. Everything went bad so quickly. I tried to keep him from being buried in the rubble but then I lost him. He has to be around here somewhere,” Maia said.

“Okay. You look really worn down, Ma’am. I know you probably don’t want to, but I’m going to ask you to sit here for a while and rest. You can’t keep searching for your son if you don’t take care of yourself too. Okay?”

“No! No. I can keep going. I need to find him,” Maia said.

Urbana put her hands on her shoulders then forced her to sit down, then said, “Breath with me. Okay?”

Urbana started doing a breathing exercise that she learned from Master Splinter and soon Maia was mimicking her.

“Now sit here and keep breathing Ma’am. You’ve already searched this entire area, yes?”

Maia nodded.

“Then I’m going to go over here and look around,” Urbana said.

Urbana then gathered everyone else around her to huddle and she whisper-ly asked, “Okay. Mr. Nikau. Is there a chance that your first name is Tama?”

“It is not,” he said.

“Of course, it’s not going to be that easy,” Urbana moaned. Then she asked under her breath, “How close to the twin tower memorial are we?”

“We’re not that far away actually. Maybe like five or three blocks away,” Spud answered in a whisper.

“Oh, it’s one of those kinds of ghosts,” Trixie mumbled.

“I think so, but I can’t be sure,” Urbana breathed.

“That’s too bad,” Melody said sadly.

“So what are we going to do now,” Jake asked under his breath.

“I need you to play historian,” Urbana muttered, “Find any records of a hobbit woman named Maia.”

“Do you have a last name,” Jake asked.

“In a second,” Urbana said, “Mr. Nikau. Whatever items you have we need to look through them. This poor ghost woman is being held here by an item, I think, at least it reminds me of a story I read in Bubble’s Diary. It could be a necklace or a piece of clothing or something that she’s just emotionally attached to that reminds her of her son.”

“She won’t break anything I take out, will she,” Mr. Nikau asked, “I collect many valuable things.”

“I’ll try my best to prevent that from happening,” Urbana said.

He sighed, exasperated and tired.

“I’m going to get her full name and then we’ll split up into groups,” Urbana said, “Spud and Jake will go record searching and Trixie, Melody and I will help Mr. Nikau look through his stuff.”

“Sounds good,” Jake said.

They un-huddled, then Urbana made up an excuse to get Maia’s full name and the full name of her son. Once she gave that information to Jake and Spud, the two of them ran off to do their thing. While the boys were out, Urbana spent three hours with Mr. Nikau, Melody, and Trixie, trying to keep Maia calm and also trying to find what’s keeping her to the mortal realm. Eventually, Melody found an antique stuffed dog toy that Urbana resonated with. When Urbana touched it, a shiver ran up Maia’s back.

“Why can’t you just tell her she’s dead and tell her to leave,” Mr. Nikau asked after Urbana confirmed that the stuffed toy was the item, “This seems to me a lot like a waste of time.”

Urbana looked at Maia to make sure that she wasn’t paying attention to her then she turned back to Mr. Nikau and said, “It’s not that simple, Sir. If I did that, I’m sure the situation would get worst, and it would emotionally destress her more.”

“Yah, so show a little respect for the poor woman,” Trixie scolded the hobbit.

“Besides it’s not a waste of time to help her out,” Melody said, “As my Mom always says, sometimes to help yourself you’ve got to help others.”

“Hm,” Mr. Nikau huffed, then he said, “That doesn’t make any sense.”

While Trixie and Melody started arguing with the hobbit, Urbana went over to show Maia the stuffed toy.

“Oh.” She sobbed. Then she took it out of Urbana’s grasp and hugged it, “I don’t want him to be dead. He’s so young.”

“I know. We’ll keep searching for him, but you should still hold some room for the possibility that he’s not,” Urbana said.

As Urbana was comforting the dead hobbit woman, Spud and Jake showed up.

“We found her son,” Jake informed them.

Urbana nodded her head. Then she grabbed the hobbit woman’s hand and said, “Come on. Let’s look somewhere else for your boy.”

Jake and Spud led the way as Urbana, an unknowing Maia, Melody, and Trixie followed, leaving behind Mr. Nikau behind who was happy to be rid of all the strangers in his house. They followed Jake and Spud through back alleyways and through subway tunnels and back streets until they came upon a private graveyard that looked like it wasn’t used for humans.

“Where are we,” Maia asked.

“Somewhere that’ll help us find your son,” Urbana answered.

Before they entered the graveyard, Jake asked for Spud, Trixie, and Melody to hang back and not to enter. Melody was a little upset about the idea, but the three of them agreed to say behind.

Urbana walked in with Maia in hand, with Jake leading the way. In a back corner of the graveyard, they found Tama’s grave. It looked like he hadn’t died too long ago.

Urbana let go of Maia and said, “Alright. I hope he’s home. I don’t really have a good idea of how I can summon him considering I’m not related to him.”

Jake watched as Urbana went up to the grave and knocked on the gravestone, “Is Tama home?”

An old wizen face poked out of the ground and in an elderly voice he said, “You’re not my grandbabies.”

Urbana backed up and said, “No. But I brought someone to meet you.”

Tama sat up more in his grave and saw Maia.

“Mom?”

“Tama?”

Tama hopped out of his grave and immediately embraced his mother.

“I can’t believe it. You’re here!” Tama cried.

“Why are you so old? What happened,” Maia asked, confused.

“I survived the earthquake Mom, but you didn’t,” Tama said, “Come on. I’ll explain everything.”

Then the two of them disappeared and the stuffed animal fell to the ground, no longer being held by anyone.

“Why did the stuffed animal drop?” Jake asked.

Urbana told him what happened.

“So we exorcise the ghost from Mr. Nikau’s home?” Jake asked to confirm.

Urbana picked up the stuffed toy and couldn’t feel any ghostly presence on it, then she said, “Yep.”

As they walked out of the graveyard, Jake asked, “So, when should I pay you?”

“Come over to my house tomorrow morning at nine,” Urbana said as she handed him the stuffed toy animal.

“Okay. I can do that,” Jake said.

Jake then told his friends that they successfully got rid of the ghost. They first went back to Mr. Nikau’s home to return his belonging, then the five of them went to celebrate a good job by eating out at a dumpling restaurant.

# # #

Urbana was meeting up with Steven at a little café next to her college. As she waited, she ordered them some green tea. When he showed up, she pushed his drink over the table towards him.

“How are you feeling,” Urbana asked.

“Not great, but it’s nice to be out,” Steven said.

“So…” Urbana said.

Steven sighed, then said, “Connie called me to tell me that she was pregnant.”

“Oh?”

“And that she was going to get an abortion,” Steven said, finishing his thought.

“Oh…”

The two of them were silent for a while as they sipped on their tea.

“She’s already had the abortion, two days ago, I think,” Steven said.

“Mmm.”

They sipped more of their tea.

“How are you feeling about all that,” Urbana asked.

“I just feel really sad,” Steven said, “and it’s weird because the fetus wasn’t even old enough to have a heartbeat yet, but I feel like we’re losing an opportunity or something… I don’t know.”

“So you didn’t agree with Connie about getting the abortion,” Urbana asked.

“No. I did. And even if I didn’t it’s not like I could stop her,” Steven said, “She’s still going to school and we’re apart when she’s in school. She wants to be in our child’s life. She doesn’t want of just give birth and then pass them on to me so she could focus more on her school stuff. I technically wouldn’t mind raising our child on my own when she’s in school, but I can see where she’s coming from on all this.”

“How did you feel when she told you she was pregnant,” Urbana asked, handing him the sugar he wanted to add to his drink.

“Fluttery. Excited. A little sick. I may of had a happy little stroke,” Steven said as he put his sugar into his tea.

“Then how did you feel when she told you she was getting an abortion,” Urbana asked.

Steven sighed then said, “Like I was a stone dropping to the bottom of the ocean.”

“Do you miss Connie a lot when she’s away for school,” Urbana asked.

Steven leaned back into his chair as he said, “I miss her sooooo much. I was hoping that when I finished traveling the states that she’d be done with college so that we could live together at Beach City.”

“So basically, you just really miss your girlfriend so much that you thought you’d be able to have a piece of her at all times if she decided to go through with giving birth to that baby,” Urbana said.

“Man. When you put it like that, it makes me feel bad about feeling bad about not getting to have that baby,” Steven said.

“Well, I’m not trying to make you feel bad about your feelings, Steven. Have you talked about your needs to Connie? I know she loves you to death so she’ll do what she can to make you miss her a little less than what you do now,” Urbana asked.

“Yah. We’ve had this conversation a lot whenever she goes away,” Steven said, “We talk every night. We text each other every morning. We watch movies together over face time. Whenever she comes back on break or to visit, we’re fused half the time. I don’t know. She does a lot for me already. I don’t want to ask for anything more.”

“Then have you thought about getting a pet or just hanging out more with your friends,” Urbana asked, “It’s probably cold comfort, but I suppose it’s better than nothing.”

“I’m all good on the pet thing, but I guess I could do with more Lars hang out time. He’s always out in space doing who knows what. Maybe I could help him with whatever or just hang out,” Steven said.

Urbana just shrugged, then said, “I wish I had better advice for you Steven. I’m long-distance dating someone like—”

Steven then slammed his hands on the table, making their cups of tea rattle as he said, “You’re dating someone! And you didn’t tell me!?”

Urbana leaned back into her chair as she laughed, then said, “It’s always funny whenever someone’s surprised to hear me say I’m dating.”

Steven sat back down then said, “Sorry. Sorry. I want to hear about your significant other, but you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“I’d love to,” Urbana said as she got out her phone to show pictures of Scarlet to him.

For the rest of the day the two of them hung out and thought about future double dates that they could go on and what they liked best about their significant others and what they do together when they’re not long-distancing and generally just talked about life. It made Steven feel better and Urbana was happy that she could help.

# # #

It was nighttime in the city of New York. The streets were unusually quiet, mainly because of the people’s untrusting fear of the giant robot that is patrolling the streets.

Ghost Team: Urbana, Beetlejuice, Draal, Angor Rot, and Cliffjumper were floating high in the air above the Shredder bot as he’s patrolling the streets. Ground Team: Leo, Don, Mikey, Raph, Casey, and Master Splinter, was getting ready to reveal themselves to the Shredder bot as they waited on their motorcycles. Extraction Team: Bumblebee in car form and Sari, they’ll be giving Ratchet and First Aid the exact coordinates that they need for making the Ground Bridge appear as they wait in an excluded part of Central Park.

Urbana was looking through Beetlejuice’s eyes like they were binoculars and was watching closely as the Shredder bot got closer to the Ground Team. She was playing with the shoulder strap of her shoulder bag.

“How do you do that with your optics,” Cliffjumper asked Beetlejuice.

“When you get past the mental barrier that your body isn’t physical anymore, you can basically do anything to your body that you want to do,” Beetlejuice said as he looked up to Cliffjumper with empty eye sockets.

“You okay kid,” Draal asked Urbana, seeing the light that surrounds her has been tendril-ize-ing around her in obnoxious and anxious ways for a while now.

“You guys only have a small window of energy that will allow you all to hold that guy down long enough for me to physically immobilize him like Ratchet and First Aid had showed me. I don’t want to mess up,” Urbana said.

“Well at least you don’t have to do it perfectly,” Beetlejuice said.

“If I don’t, he’ll suffer immense pain,” Urbana said.

“Hasn’t he been making that rat and his family suffer years of immense pain,” Angor Rot asked.

Sam sighed as she continued to watch the giant robot walk right into Ground Team’s position. There was a pause as Master Splinter came out of hiding to stand in front of robo-Shredder. The two of them appeared to speak with one another, then robo-Shredder made a move to grab Master Splinter, prompting Casey, Raph, Mikey, Leo, and Don to come out of hiding, on their motorbikes, and the chase began.

Urbana tossed Beetlejuice’s eyes back to him, then holding on tight to Cliffjumper’s middle digit, she said, “Go!

Everyone else held onto Cliffjumper and he flew down after them, following behind and above them. The Shredder bot followed the gang out of the crowded city and into the more open spaced out and darker Central Park. The Ground Team then motored by Bumblebee and Sari. Bumblebee transformed into his robot form and had his arm guns out, making the Shredder bot stop in his tracks. Urbana pulled out her tools from her shoulder bag then instructed Beetlejuice to throw her at the nape of Shredder bot’s neck. He did. As Urbana landed on the Shredder bot, Beetlejuice possessed robo-Shredder’s legs, Draal and Angor Rot possessed an arm each, and Cliffjumper possessed the rest of his body. The four ghosts kept him still as Urbana cut open the back of his neck then pulled and cut a few wires that paralyzed him and knocked out his sensors. Whatever organic part of the Shredder that was left inside this dead Cybertronian, now couldn’t see or hear anything outside the metal body.

Once Urbana’s ghost friends stopped possessing robo-Shredder, the giant robot started falling forward to the ground, but Cliffjumper caught Urbana before she could fall with him. He then sat her down next to everyone else and the giant robot fell to the ground with a clang.

“Is everyone alright,” Urbana asked.

“I’ll be much better once I have a cup of tea to sooth my nerves,” Master Splinter said.

“I told Base our coordinates,” Bumblebee boop-beeped.

“I don’t like this,” Casey said, “These things don’t usually go this well.”

“Sshh,” Sari harshly shushed him, then said, “Don’t jinx us.”

“Okay. So I just got told that the Ground Bridge is down again,” boop-beeped Bumblebee.

“What did I just tell you,” Sari said.

“What,” Raph asked, “We don’t understand binary.”

Sari repeated what Bumblebee said.

“Great. So now what,” Leo asked.

Urbana went up to her ghost friends and asked, “How are you all feeling?”

“Exhausted,” Angor Rot said and Draal and Cliffjumper nodded their heads in agreement, while Beetlejuice was like, “Meh.”

As everyone was talking and trying to figure out where to hide, the sound of a racing car heading their way became more prominent with each passing second. A red fancy sport’s car showed up. Bumblebee without hesitation started shooting at the car. The car swerved left and right, then it transformed into a giant sexy red robot. He had, strapped to his arm, a weird looking weapon.

“Thanks for doing the hard work for us, Autobots,” he shouted.

Then he used the weapon on his arm and a massive pulse of energy like the sonic boom of a sound wave came out of it. He used the weapon to sweep everyone with it. If Beetlejuice hadn’t of grabbed Urbana to turn her intangible, then it would have knocked her out too.

“Man, I love this thing,” the red bot said as he admired the weapon on his arm.

“Hey! You missed a spot,” Urbana shouted at him.

“Oooh. Are we going to fuck him up?” Beetlejuice asked.

“Hm,” He huffed, then said, “You’re a tiny little flesh bag. I can squish you under my fist. Actually. You know what. Why not. It’ll make Bumblebee mad to see one of his human pet’s dead.”

As the giant red robot started to walk over to Urbana, Draal asked, “What are we going to do?”

Urbana grabbed him by his spikey shoulder, imbuing him with her energy, then said, “Spin dash into his shins and ankles.”

Draal felt energized and determined as he said, “With pleasure.”

Off he went. Soon the red bot was feeling pain and tripping over his feet, not understanding why. While he was distracted, Urbana then placed a hand on Angor Rot’s forearm and imbued him with her energy.

“Make it where he can’t use that weapon on his arm,” Urbana instructed.

“Easy,” Angor Rot said, feeling her energy and the determination flow through him.

The giant robot was too distracted by what was happening with his feet to notice how his wrist weapon was slowly coming apart.

“Beetlejuice.” Urbana said.

Laughing maniacally, Beetlejuice manifested a giant cartoon like hammer into his hands and he said, “I’m going to beat his pretty little face in.”

Beetlejuice flew in and smashed the giant robot in his left cheek. Blue blood came out of his mouth. The red bot fell to his hands and knees.

“What is going on!?” He shouted as he was swinging his arms wildly around, trying to hit what he couldn’t see.

Urbana went up to Cliffjumper and motioned for him to pick her up. He lowered his hand and she climbed on, then she grabbed his middle digit, and she imbued him with the most energy that she could without passing out.

“Come on. Let’s stomp on him while he’s down. We just got to last until everyone else wakes up or until the Autobots get their Ground Bridge running again,” Urbana told him.

He nodded in agreement. Cliffjumper ran over to the Decepticon then jumped on his back and continued to do that.

The red Decepticon looked over his shoulder at the weird flying human as he was being stomped on. He tried to get her with his wrist weapon, but it wasn’t working for him and it looked like it was actively falling apart. So, he did the only thing he really could do, call for help.

“Starscream, I need immediate back up,” He got out before Beetlejuice hit him in the face again with his hammer.

A few minutes later a Ground Bridge opened, and Urbana hoped with all her heart that it was the Autobots. It wasn’t. A grey Decepticon with skinny legs and looking like he was wearing stiletto heels walked out of the Ground Bridge.

“Alright, Knock Out what’s the… What’s going on here?” The grey Decepticon asked as he saw what looked like his ally was being beaten up by multiple people at once but only seeing one floating human going up and down.

“Just,” Beetlejuice hit him in the face, “help me!”

“Alright, cover your head,” Starscream said as he aimed a red rocket, that was strapped to his wrist, at Urbana.

Before he fired, Urbana yelled, “Someone be ready to catch me!”

He fired at her and Urbana jumped out of Cliffjumper’s hand. Draal caught her. In the distance, the red rocket exploded a tree a block from where they were hiding. The sound of distant alarms was going off.

The energy that was sustaining Cliffjumper subsided quickly, and he wasn’t able to jump on Knock Out, only fazing through him, and with Draal carrying Urbana, nothing was impeding Knock Out’s legs, so he was able to get up, but he was still getting hit in the face by Beetlejuice and Angor Rot had mangled Knock Out’s weapon so thoroughly that it looked unrecognizable.

“Come on. Help me get Breakdown’s corpse,” Knock Out said.

Beetlejuice then hit him in the face again with his hammer.

Starscream laughed, then said, “How are you doing that.”

Knock Out put one of robo-Shredder’s arm over his shoulder as he said, “I’m still being attacked by her.”

Starscream put the other arm over his shoulder and the two of them started walking towards the still open Ground Bridge.

“Hey!” Urbana yelled, “You’re not going anywhere with him!”

Without giving Urbana a second glance, Starscream aimed his second red rocket at her knocked out friends and said, “You do any more, funny business, and I fry half your companions.”

“Ah!” Urbana scream panicked, “Okay. Okay. We’ll leave you alone!”

“Awe,” Beetlejuice complained as he made his hammer disappear.

They all watched them drag robo-Shredder away and as soon as the Decepticon Ground Bridge disappeared, a new Ground Bridge appeared and Arcee, Jazz, and Rodimus charged out with guns out. When they saw the scene, they put away their guns.

Draal put Urbana on the ground, and she immediately laid down, so tired that she could barely move. The sirens in the distance were getting closer but they were a distant headache to Urbana. All her ghost friends came over to her and watched over her as they talked amongst each other, wondering what they were going to do now.

Rodimus eventually came over to Urbana and he said, “Oh! You’re awake. Can you get up?”

Urbana shook her head, and said, “No.”

“I’m going to pick you up then. Is that alright,” Rodimus asked.

She nodded her head, and said, “Yah.”

He delicately picked her up like you would pick up a fat caterpillar, then he gently placed her on top of the unconscious pile of people in the truck bed of Jazz’s vehicle form. Arcee and Rodimus put an arm each of Bumblebee’s over their shoulders, then they all went through the Ground Bridge together.

When they all entered the base, it was a worrying welcome. Ratchet and First Aid immediately took the unconscious Bumblebee to an examination slab to give him a checkup and every human in the base, Miko, Jack, Rafael, June, Professor Isaac, and Special Agent Fowler helped unload all the unconscious people in Jazz’s truck form.

“Ah, good. One of you is awake. Maybe you can tell us what the heck went wrong over there,” Agent Fowler asked.

Urbana told them what happened and what she tried to do.

“You took on Knock Out. By yourself,” Agent Fowler asked.

“No she had her ghost friends with her,” Miko reminded him.

“You’re very quick to forget about us aren’t yah,” Beetlejuice said.

Agent Fowler didn’t acknowledge him.

“Beetlejuice. You’re forgetting to make yourself visible again,” Urbana reminded him.

“Oh. Right,” He said. Then he made himself visible and repeated himself.

Agent Fowler went, “Bah!” at him.

“What are we going to do, now that the Decepticons have Breakdown’s corpse?” Raf asked.

“Most likely nothing,” June, Jack’s mother, said, “We only wanted him to get Cybertronian technology out of the Foot Clan’s hands.”

June then moved on from an unconscious Mikey and started examining an unconscious Don.

“They have other alien tech, right,” Jack asked, “What are we going to do about that?”

“Right now, we’ll focus on getting those Foot Clan hooligans under control,” Agent Fowler said as he started to walk towards the elevator, “I’ll be giving Fanzone a few calls.”

He then entered the elevator, and he was gone.

“Someone wake me up when there’s food,” Urbana notified whoever was close enough to hear her, then she fell asleep.


End file.
